Trekking into NYC and taking care of paperwork

 

I had one thing that I had to take care of today, and I can blame part of my failure to do so on my brother. Yet, today's focus is not on a minor screw up, but on visiting the neighborhood in which I used to work.

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The plan for today was to trek into NYC to get an official copy of both my birth certificate and that of my deceased father.  I'd have no problem getting my own birth certificate.  But to get my dad's birth certificate, I would need an official copy of my dad's death certificate - which my brother was supposed to mail to me, but didn't.

So, around 11 am, I drove to Croton-Harmon railroad station, stopping first at a local deli. Instead of taking 5 minutes to get my usual sausage and egg sandwich, it took 15.  So I arrived at the train station with barely enough time to make the 11:48 train.  And when I say barely, I mean just that.  I was in the elevator with 3 minutes to go, and had just purchased my train ticket as the train came into the station.  Luckily, I was able to make it down the stairs and onto the train without rushing, as I'd have to wait another 30+ minutes for the next train.

Arriving at Grand Central, I noticed hot hot and humid it felt.  (I was glad that I had chosen to travel as Mario, as wearing a wig would have been too much to deal with today.)  30 minutes later, I was downtown and in front of NYC's bureau of vital records.  (I wish I had kept in the habit of walking at least 2 miles each day, as my legs were bothering me for the first mile I walked.) After checking to make sure I was at the right building, I killed time at the Starbucks across the street.

Once inside, it was bureaucracy in action.  First, one takes a number.  Next, one enters ALL the information needed to purchase a vital record, in my case a birth certificate. And then, you wait for your number to be called and to pay for your service.  While entering my data, I was told that my dad's birth certificate had to be ordered by mail AND that I needed my dad's death certificate.  AARGH!  I could have stayed comfortable and done everything by mail had my brother sent me the death certificate as promised.

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Once done with the bureau of vital records, I walked over to where I used to work (a much longer walk than I remembered) to get lunch at the Halal cart I used to regularly patronize.  Although there were 2 carts there now, I picked one that best resembled what I remembered from 10 years ago and ordered my old everyday order - a chicken and lamb combo with lots of white sauce and a touch of hot sauce.  But I now had a problem. Where could I sit down and eat?  So I decided to walk a couple of blocks and find a place to sit.  The only place I found with open seats was inside a playground for dogs.  This was perfect, as I had free entertainment provided by the dogs and their owner while I enjoyed my meal.

Soon, I was on my way back home, and I was back in my car around 5 pm.  Once at home, I fell asleep for an hour or so and then was ready to take care of some chores before calling it a day.  At least, I likely won't need to trek into NYC again for paperwork purposes anytime soon.

Did I do Laundry? No! But I did go shopping.

 

There's an old saying that goes: "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."  Given how hot it was today, it made sense for me to stay inside for most of the day, only bothering to go outside to do some shopping at Walmart and to pick up some things at CVS.  

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Today's shopping list included a motley assortment of items:

• New Sneakers to replace ones that are wearing out
• Makeup, specifically Eyebrow Liner and Setting Powder
  
• Gift bag to hold a photo album that I'm giving to my neighbors for their wedding.
  (They don't expect anything from me, but they are a nice young couple who I like a lot.)

My first stop was at Walmart, so that I could buy the sneakers.  In theory, I could have bought everything here.  However, I was in a rush to get the sneakers, then go for some dinner before an 8 pm zoom meeting with my Texas friends. While at Walmart, I encountered my friendly transgender checkout clerk.  When she asked me why I wasn't on her line, I noted that I didn't want to cut in front of the person next on line.  Then that person let me in, so I could chat for a minute with my friend.

Soon afterwards, I was on my way to dinner, and then to CVS.  Did I pick up the gift bag while picking up makeup?  No.  That would have to wait until after the Zoom meeting.  So I opened the zoom meeting, and it didn't last as long as usual.  (RQS and I would chat about this later on.  But I won't go into details here.)  I still had to go back to CVS to pick up the gift bag, and I could have our nightly chat while I was driving.

I found the gift bag I wanted at CVS, and took a long drive around Northern Westchester while chatting with RQS.  Instead of taking the usual routes that I would drive, I made sure not to hit the usual cell phone dead spots - this had me doubling back along the route I drove to Tarrytown.  Once home, I finished up some paperwork I needed before going to NYC to request long form birth certificates for myself and my late father.  (Hopefully, I won't have any problems with this request, as I need to file both my father's and my birth certificates as part of the chain of ancestry I need to prove on some government paperwork I have to start filing soon. And then, I started to do the brain exercises required by the study I'm participating in.  Were they fun?  Yes, only because they are presented as a game.  However, this could get boring quickly.

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So, am I a mad dog or an Englishman?  Probably not, as I avoided going outside in the worst of the heat.  But I did end up going outside after all....
 

Do I talk about the fMRI, or do I talk about the brain function test?

 

OK, I must start by informing my readers that both things had to do with the scientific study I am participating in.  Neither was much effort, but both took valuable time out of my life for which I will be compensated.

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My day started with getting dressed as Mario.  There was no way I was going to go to the fMRI place in Laurelton, Queens with more clothing than I needed to wear.  Shaving closer than usual (something I wish I didn't need to do for presenting as Marian), I proceeded to get ready to cross the East River and make it to the MRI center by 2:30 pm.  Although I was in the area around 2:00 pm, I killed time, so that I could arrive at 2:30 sharp.

I had to wait a few minutes and fill in some forms before being directed to the MRI area to strip and get ready for the procedure.  When I put my clothes in the locker, I found that the locker door was off one of its hinges, and that I couldn't fully secure my property.  This didn't worry me too much, as access to this area of the property was controlled - no one would be likely to sneak in and steal my property.  

But I digress....

At 3:00 pm, I was brought to the MRI machine, and my head was placed in a position where it couldn't move.  Then, the "fun" began.  I was given headphones to deaden the noise from outside, a mask was put over my head to lock it into place, and then I was slid into the machine.  A cacophony of noise assaulted my ears even with the headset on, and then I developed an itch I couldn't scratch for 15 minutes.  

When the 15 minutes and noise ended, I slid out of the device and proceeded to get dressed to return home.  (I'm not going to like my next visit here at the end of the study.)  Traffic flowed, but slowed down a little the closer I got to rush hour.  Before I got home, I stopped in Pleasantville to get some lobster from the lobster truck, then continued home for the evening.

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The next thing on my docket was the webinar/base line assessment which gave the researchers an idea of what my performance levels were when the study started.  So, at 8:00 pm, I logged onto the webinar and spent the next hour filling in several questionnaires and playing "games" to determine my level of performance on each of several sets of tasks for their baseline.  (I'd love to know what each of these tasks were supposed to test.)  I'd describe each of these "games" as a version of the games "Simon" and "Bop It".  They started out easy, but got more challenging as short term memory and spatial recognition were exercised in these tasks.

I was off line by 9:00 pm, and am now awaiting further instructions.  Soon, the "fun" will begin.

 

 

PS: It took me about 30 minutes to get the studs back in my earlobes.  Overnight, one hole may have closed, and I may have forced it open without pain.  But the stud will need to stay in place for another couple of months....

Where does a non-op trans person go to the loo?

 

Although this may be a short post, it poses a dilemma that can cause us problems if in the wrong place at the wrong time - Where can a non-op trans person go to the loo while traveling across the United States?

When I first started going out as Marian, I worried what people would think when I went to the women's room to relieve myself. In New York, I didn't feel that I had to worry much - even though I may not have looked as much as a woman than a man in a dress.  But I had serious concerns.  Over time, both my feminine presentation skills and my confidence in going out as Marian developed quite a bit.  Most of the time now, I think people see me as an oversized woman instead of a fat man in a dress.

I've traveled as Marian, having taken cruises to New England/Eastern Canada ports, to Eastern Caribbean ports (only getting off at St. Martin and St. Thomas), to ports along the California coast, and to Hawaii. In addition, I've traveled to Washington, DC and Chicago, Il as Marian.  But I know that I have to be careful where I travel, given laws that affect transgender people.  For example, GOP states have enacted laws that limit where transgender people can relieve themselves.  I was surprised to find that Texas (with its laws that prohibit gender changes on legal documents) hasn't yet (as far as this map shows) been enacted a bathroom bill.  (Maybe I can find a way to visit my friends in Texas after all....)

Soon, RQS and I may schedule a last minute cruise to New England/Eastern Canada on the same ship that will take us to Bermuda.  This will only happen if a co-op meeting has to be postponed.  I'm hoping that we can take this cruise, as it will be nice to cruise again as Marian. 

 

PS: I can say that I committed a criminal act in one of the states I've visited by going to the loo.  It's nice to be a criminal!

The end of a weekend came with an oil change and tire rotation

 

Yesterday, RQS and I sat around the house relaxing until a little before dusk.  At that time, we went out so that she could practice her photography skills.  But this is not the focus of today's post.

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Today was the first day that I had to wear male clothes in a while.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I had to present myself as Mario.  And it felt strange to get dressed in trousers and a shirt, instead of a casual dress with a sweater nearby to keep me comfortable.  Yet, I'll be doing so for the better part of the work week, as I've scheduled 3 days worth of appearances for Mario:

• Monday: Get 6,000 mile car service (oil change and tire rotation)|
• Tuesday: Get fMRI for scientific study I'm participating in.
• Thursday: In-person appointment at NYC's Department of Vital Records or Department of Health  to get birth certificates  (for myself and my dad, each with an apostille for international use)

Although I might want to visit NYC's offices as Marian, it might be easier for me to present myself as being consistent with my legal identification.  Even if I were to dress as Marian on Wednesday, I will still a bit strange if I were to have dinner with RQS on Thursday as Mario.  

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Last night, I transferred my money and my ID into my male wallet in preparation to use it today.  When RQS and I got dressed to leave the house, I almost forgot it on my desk - I've gotten so used to going out as Marian with my handbag, that thinking about putting my wallet in my trousers wasn't an automatic part of getting dressed for me.

After dropping RQS off at the station, I relaxed for a little while before taking my car to the dealership for its 6,000 mile service.  Although I got there a little early, it took longer than expected before I got my car back.  And since I was in the area, I decided to stop at BJ's for a little (and I mean little) retail therapy.  By the time I left, I had tonight's dinner and some chicken pot pies I could eat over the next 2 weeks.

Tomorrow, I'll be driving to Queens to take care of the fMRI.  Sadly, I'll have to take the studs out of my earlobes for this scan, and I know I'll have a hard time putting them back in again.
 

Oysters with RQS

 

While at dinner in NYC, RQS and I discussed dinner plans for the weekend.  I suggested picking up Lobster at Shoprite, while RQS was thinking of Oysters at Whole Foods.  Guess what we chose - Oysters on Friday night and Lobsters on Saturday.  Yum!  (Just don't tell my doctor about this.)  Seafood would be the theme for the weekend, and all I might want to do was find some clam chowder or lobster bisque to make things perfect.

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I didn't get a good night's sleep before, and I woke up early on Friday morning having forgotten about our dinner choices for the weekend.  So, when RQS mentioned that she'd be coming up around 2:30 pm, I realized that I had to rush to get ready.  Like a typical woman, my dilemma was what to wear.  So I picked out a coral version of the navy blue dress I wore the night before and got ready to pick RQS up at the station.

Croton-Harmon station is undergoing major renovation.  The town is installing solar panels over the entire parking lot (at least, over the areas not prone to flooding) as a way of generating new revenue for the town.  This has caused major sections of the parking lot to be taken off line while the solar panels are installed above the parking areas.  (It'll be nice for many to be able to park in areas protected from inclement weather.  Sadly, this only helps those with preferred parking space permits.)  This week, construction took out the parking area that the local taxis normally use and this created a mess around the area where passengers usually depart the station and get to their rides home.  The taxi stands have been relocated to the far end of the station, people have to walk further to reach parked cars, and the pick-up area is much more congested than normal.  This made it hard for RQS to find me, so I had to call her to tell her where to find me.

Once in the car, we ended up going to Whole Foods for oysters.  Arriving at 3:00 (or so), the first thing we did was to order 3 dozen oysters and have them shucked for us.  30 minutes later, we were feasting on our trays in the store.  It's nice to be able to get oysters at $1 each on Fridays, as something expensive becomes an affordable treat.  Both of us found that 18 oysters each was a perfect midday meal to start a summer's weekend.

After finishing our meal, it was time to go home and relax.  Although we went out later for a ride, the oysters were the high point of the day....

Another NYC Restaurant Week Dinner with RQS

RQS mentioned that a restaurant in the Flatiron district had extended its restaurant week offerings, so that they end on the last day of the month.  Although this place (Sagaponack) had a $1/Oyster special for happy hour on Fridays, I suggested that we take advantage of the $45/pp Prix Fixe restaurant week offering on a Thursday.  This would be the second week in a row that I'd take the train into NYC to have a nice dinner.  But this week, I didn't feel bloated after dinner.

The restaurant week menu at Sagaponack isn't much different than its usual menu.  However, with Gambas de Ajillo (Shrimp cooled in a garlic and pimento sauce), Wagyu beef burgers and Peekytoe Crab Rolls on the menu, we just had to try the place out.  Although most of the diners simply dropped in for a table, we had made reservations for 7:30 pm.  Upon entering the place, RQS noticed that there were almost no males in the place.  (This would not be the case for long.)  And we were shown our way to the back to enjoy our meal.

Service was good, albeit a tad slow.  But we weren't rushed either.  Both of us ordered the shrimp for an appetizer, while RQS ordered the crab roll for a main course and I ordered the Burger.  If I say the shrimp were the best part of the meal, it's not because the other offerings weren't top notch.  It's because the shrimp had a wonderful flavor well above and beyond what we had a right to expect for an appetizer. Next came our main courses.  If I knew how good the crab roll would taste, I would have ordered that instead of the Wagyu beef burger.  Yet, the burger was cooked to perfection.  Dessert was either of two varieties of Panna Cotta.  It was a wonderful way to end a good meal.  We will certainly go to this place again.

RQS and I walked to Union Square holding hands all the way.  It's nice for two women to be able to openly show public signs of affection in NYC.  I don't think I'd ever want to leave the NYC region if I didn't have to - it's one of the rare places that allow people to be themselves if they don't harm others.  It's much better than any place below the Mason-Dixon line these days.

All too soon, I was on my way home.  It was nice to finally strip and get comfortable.