A pleasant surprise from distant friends.

 

The 2023 Chicago Girls' Trip.  This is where RQS and I got the chance to meet our Texas friends in person.  We all agreed that we didn't spend enough time together on this trip.

But first....

It's been a year since we were all together, and we've hinted to our friends that we should get together again soon.  For the most part, it's gone over like a lead balloon, but that's OK.  We'd still be friends, and chalk up their reluctance to factors beyond our control.

Tonight's conversation took a different path than usual.  Usually, RQS gets on quickly.  But tonight, I had to try calling her - with no response.  I was concerned that something might have happened to her.  She does live in NYC after all.  But no, all was OK.  She took a nap, and didn't wake up when her Alexa's alarm went off.  She has gotten in the habit of telling her device to let her sleep for 15 minutes or so, and does this while semi-conscious. So, around 8:30 pm, she came into the chat, and she told the story about her doorway being replaced.

After RQS joined us, I showed off some pictures from our Bermuda cruise, and then the chat shifted towards other trips.  (I won't go into detail here, as it is not my story to tell.)  And then I was asked: "Why don't I come to Texas, when I'd go to New Orleans."  I mentioned that New Orleans was a LGBT friendly island in a deep red state, while Texas doesn't protect my rights.  However, I noted that Texas didn't make me going to the loo a criminal act as it would be in Florida.  So I might end up spending a day or two in Dallas one of these years.  But first, people like Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott must be voted out of office.  Who knows, there may be a New Orleans trip in the cards for us in 2025.

And then we all had to go.  But we made plans to have another Zoom call between Election Day and Thanksgiving.  Hopefully, we'll have good news to celebrate that week....

Did I do Laundry? No! But I did go shopping.

 

There's an old saying that goes: "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."  Given how hot it was today, it made sense for me to stay inside for most of the day, only bothering to go outside to do some shopping at Walmart and to pick up some things at CVS.  

- - - - - -

Today's shopping list included a motley assortment of items:

• New Sneakers to replace ones that are wearing out
• Makeup, specifically Eyebrow Liner and Setting Powder
  
• Gift bag to hold a photo album that I'm giving to my neighbors for their wedding.
  (They don't expect anything from me, but they are a nice young couple who I like a lot.)

My first stop was at Walmart, so that I could buy the sneakers.  In theory, I could have bought everything here.  However, I was in a rush to get the sneakers, then go for some dinner before an 8 pm zoom meeting with my Texas friends. While at Walmart, I encountered my friendly transgender checkout clerk.  When she asked me why I wasn't on her line, I noted that I didn't want to cut in front of the person next on line.  Then that person let me in, so I could chat for a minute with my friend.

Soon afterwards, I was on my way to dinner, and then to CVS.  Did I pick up the gift bag while picking up makeup?  No.  That would have to wait until after the Zoom meeting.  So I opened the zoom meeting, and it didn't last as long as usual.  (RQS and I would chat about this later on.  But I won't go into details here.)  I still had to go back to CVS to pick up the gift bag, and I could have our nightly chat while I was driving.

I found the gift bag I wanted at CVS, and took a long drive around Northern Westchester while chatting with RQS.  Instead of taking the usual routes that I would drive, I made sure not to hit the usual cell phone dead spots - this had me doubling back along the route I drove to Tarrytown.  Once home, I finished up some paperwork I needed before going to NYC to request long form birth certificates for myself and my late father.  (Hopefully, I won't have any problems with this request, as I need to file both my father's and my birth certificates as part of the chain of ancestry I need to prove on some government paperwork I have to start filing soon. And then, I started to do the brain exercises required by the study I'm participating in.  Were they fun?  Yes, only because they are presented as a game.  However, this could get boring quickly.

- - - - - - 

So, am I a mad dog or an Englishman?  Probably not, as I avoided going outside in the worst of the heat.  But I did end up going outside after all....
 

Where does a non-op trans person go to the loo?

 

Although this may be a short post, it poses a dilemma that can cause us problems if in the wrong place at the wrong time - Where can a non-op trans person go to the loo while traveling across the United States?

When I first started going out as Marian, I worried what people would think when I went to the women's room to relieve myself. In New York, I didn't feel that I had to worry much - even though I may not have looked as much as a woman than a man in a dress.  But I had serious concerns.  Over time, both my feminine presentation skills and my confidence in going out as Marian developed quite a bit.  Most of the time now, I think people see me as an oversized woman instead of a fat man in a dress.

I've traveled as Marian, having taken cruises to New England/Eastern Canada ports, to Eastern Caribbean ports (only getting off at St. Martin and St. Thomas), to ports along the California coast, and to Hawaii. In addition, I've traveled to Washington, DC and Chicago, Il as Marian.  But I know that I have to be careful where I travel, given laws that affect transgender people.  For example, GOP states have enacted laws that limit where transgender people can relieve themselves.  I was surprised to find that Texas (with its laws that prohibit gender changes on legal documents) hasn't yet (as far as this map shows) been enacted a bathroom bill.  (Maybe I can find a way to visit my friends in Texas after all....)

Soon, RQS and I may schedule a last minute cruise to New England/Eastern Canada on the same ship that will take us to Bermuda.  This will only happen if a co-op meeting has to be postponed.  I'm hoping that we can take this cruise, as it will be nice to cruise again as Marian. 

 

PS: I can say that I committed a criminal act in one of the states I've visited by going to the loo.  It's nice to be a criminal!

Guess where I'll be going soon....? (And, NO, it's not another cruise.)

 

By the time you read this, the Universal Standard sample sale will be over.  To its loyal customers, Universal Standard made many of its current sample pieces available online, so that they could clear out some inventory.  This T-Girl loves the quality of the store's products, and can only wish I had a nicer body on which to wear their garments.

- - - - - -

My late wife would be laughing at me, as I have become quite a clothes horse.  It's nice to receive a new article of clothing in the mail (or from Amazon, UPS, or FedEx) and have a chance to wear it.  Unlike my late wife, I tend to wear the stuff I buy - especially now that I'm buying clothes of a higher quality (preferably at a deep discount).  When I pass, I don't expect that there will be any garments in my closet that still have price tags, as most will have been worn several times.

As I've mentioned in prior entries, I have bought some exercise wear, so that I can go out walking and not get my good clothes ruined by sweat. I have also bought some nice casual clothes to wear on warm days - and will be wearing them soon.  But the question remains: what should this T-Girl wear in colder weather?  Fewer women are wearing dresses in cool weather than they did when I was a kid, and I don't want to stand out - I want to blend in with the other women around me.

- - - - - 

On other matters, RQS and I were discussing the personalities of our Texas friends.  One of these friends is very observant, saying relatively little, but shows quite a bit of confidence.  The other shows her rough edges, and I'd love to help her smooth them out.  But unless asked, I'll keep my mouth shut and give advice only when asked for.

One of these days, I'd like to be presentable enough to spend the day in their area as Marian, and then revert to my male presentation for maximum safety.  This might mean bringing a little bit of both male and female wardrobes with me if I were to visit, and then switch between modes only for that part of the trip.  First, I want to see a Democrat elected as Governor again in that state....

This brings me to politics.  We're seeing a snow motion coup being staged by the GOP, with Trump as their charismatic leader.  What frightens me is that the people who'll being him to power will not be able to control the beast they have unchained.  We've seen this scenario 90 years ago in Central Europe, and I'm afraid it might happen here.  If the worst happens, Canada will only be a way stop for me, as I want to get completely out of Dodge before High Noon.  I wonder how many people will be able to make the last train out....

The only reason I got dressed was to go to the library.

 

Normally, I can wait until I've received a text from the local library that tells me that a book I want to read has arrived, and ready for me to pick up.  This week, the system broke down, and I was lucky to find out that two books I want to read were ready for me, and would be held for me until the end of the day.  So, it was at 4:00 pm that I finally got dressed (as Mario) to go to the library and pick up my books.

Now that I was moving, it was time for me to go to the library for my books.  Once done there, I was off to BJ's to check on some things.  First, I wanted to replace some reading glasses which had broken over the past few months.  Then, I wanted a large box of garbage bags, as my current supply will soon run out.  So $100 later, I escaped from BJ's, and back home to change into Marian mode for a Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.

Around 8:00 pm, I opened up the Zoom meeting and we chatted for almost 2 hours.  For a good part of the Zoom call, RQS and I were showing off our Norway photos and monopolizing the chat.  But our Texas friends got in their share of the chat as well.  I started to feel tired around 10:00 pm, so I signaled that it was time to end the chat for  this month, and to schedule something for early next month.

Hopefully, one day in the future, I'll feel safe enough to risk seeing my friends in their area.  However, as long as ultra conservatives are in power, I doubt that they will respect my rights as a TG person due to their current political stance.

Zooming with friends - a short post

 

I don't have too much to say today....

This morning I got up for a morning appointment, then went home for a nap.  By the time I was conscious again, it was 3 pm and I had to get ready for a zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.

Now, I really wasn't in the mood to talk much today, as my mind is preoccupied by my upcoming cruise.  So, I stalled in getting ready, but got dressed as Marian a little before 6 pm, and went down to the local pizzeria to get something good to eat.  On the way down, I refreshed my money supply, so that I'd have extra spending money for the week.  While driving, I called LK to confirm tomorrow's lunch - and this ended up being a no-go.  She is (as expected) occupied by her children, and unable to handle visitors.  I was a little disappointed, but not enough to be depressed.  LK tends to let life get in the way of her plans, and I guess she will always be doing this.  (At least, she has a life....)

Once done with dinner, I went back to the house to start the zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  Both my friends came on, as well as RQS - our usual foursome.  It was nice to chat with everyone again.  But I know I was flagging, as I'm still dealing with my lack of sleep last night.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get up early tomorrow, so that I can get a lot of tasks done to prepare for the cruise.

Lunch with a friend & Zooming with Friends

Today, I had lunch with my friend, C, from the US Census, and had a monthly Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  And I realized that monthly get togethers are the perfect time interval for each, as this gives us enough time to build up enough things we can talk about that happened in our lives.

But first....

Sooner or later, I will need to schedule an appointment with the sleep doctor.  I am falling asleep, but still feeling tired when I wake up - which is happening after a sleep of short duration.  I know that my CPAP is working, but there could be something else disturbing my sleep.  Also, I want to get a new CPAP machine prescription before the old one wears out.

Once I woke up, I got showered and dressed in one of the summery dresses I had in my closet.  (I decided not to take the tags off of either of my Universal Standard outfits, as I might end up returning one of them after RQS has a chance to see them on me.  But I digress.  I was very surprised to find that it was over 80 degrees outside, and that I didn't need to wear the denim jacket I had planned to wear.  So when I saw C,  she complimented me on what I was wearing.  Then, we caught up on all of the things that have gone on in or lives over the past month.

All too soon, we had to leave, and I stopped off at the apartment to put my leftovers in the refrigerator. The, it was up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to do some browsing through the racks.  Luckily, I didn't spend any more money on clothes I didn't need.  (I'll wait to find things other than dresses that both I can wear comfortably and that look good on me.)  On the way home, I stopped off at Aldi to see what the "cousin" of Trader Joe's was like and picked up a few things.  (See: Aldi History.)  Then, I went home for the night.

Once home, I rested a little before a Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  Although I hope we can all get together again soon, I doubt this will happen as a foursome.  Instead, I think we have better odds if one or the other friend were to meet RQS and I in one of our travels.  We had a good chat, as usual, and around 10 pm, we bid each other farewell until next month.

The high point of my day was at lunch

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I've worked at the census, and 4 years since I felt comfortable with being 'out' as a transgender person.  Today, I met with one of my friends from the census and had a nice lunch.

My friend (let's call her CSC) and I have been trying to meet on a monthly basis since our work on the census ended.  And we've been able to keep up to date on happenings in our lives since then.  She's shared information on family events, her travels, and on things in general - and I've done the same.  The one thing I'll share about our conversation is how her dietary restrictions have affected her when dining out....

CSC comes from a Jewish family.  As a result, she lived in a kosher household and has never eaten pork or shellfish.  That is not an issue for her.  She is allergic to peanuts, peas, and bananas.  She is also a vegetarian who once ate meat in the past.  So, she finds herself having to talk about dietary issues every time she goes out to eat.  Even when she does so, things can go a little wrong as it did today; A pea was found in the yellow rice served to her, and she had to send it back for some white rice.  (A minor issue, Yes.  But she could have suffered a severe allergic reaction.)  She told me about visits to restaurants which had no vegetarian options on the menu, where the chef concocted some very tasty dishes just for her.  And she told me about restaurants that said they couldn't accommodate her - then they did.  Nowadays,  it's much easier for her, as most restaurants are willing to have both vegan and gluten free foods on the menu, as well as knowing how to keep "special requirements" food prepared separately from "regular" food.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So we made plans for the following month and went on our way.

- - - - - -

Once home, I had to switch back to Mario mode.  I had a handyman coming over to see about replacing the exhaust fan/ceiling light in the bathroom.  This will be a slightly more expensive project than I planned, as he suggested that he repaint the ceiling after he finishes installing the fixture.  (The ceiling paint has started to flake off in one area, and I've deferred doing this work.)  So, I handed him a deposit, and he will buy all the supplies needed for the job - and he will get back to me to schedule the work.

- - - - - -

Now that my 15 minutes as Mario was over with, it was time to switch back into Marian mode for a zoom call with my friends from Texas and RQS.  I'll bet that they noticed that I was exhausted, but I was able to stay awake during our meeting.  (Again, I didn't get enough good sleep the night before.)  Hopefully, we will all be able to get together again in 2025.  But that's another story.  Shortly afterwards was my nightly call with RQS to end my day.

As cold as a witch's....

 

Today ended up being a stay-at-home day, as SJM had to postpone our lunch until next week.  That was OK with me, as I really didn't want to get dressed, go out in the cold to clean the snow off my car, then drive to lunch.  I was nice and happy in my warm apartment, and didn't want to change things or make any effort to do so.

- - - - - -

I figure that I have to fight off the lethargy that has taken over my life as of late.  And I plan to get out of the house tomorrow, if only to go to another meetup and get out in the world with people.  But that doesn't say much about today, does it?  For the most part, I did almost nothing of note other than watching videos and resting.  Could it be that I have a hibernation instinct?  I doubt it.  

Eventually, I had to take out the garbage.  So I got dressed enough to make it to the dumpster, brush the snow off the car, and get my mail from the mailbox before returning to my apartment.  While outside, I noticed how cold it was, and noted that it will be 10 degrees colder this coming weekend when I'm with RQS.  Given that it might snow again, I may just leave my car in a visitor's space while I use mass transit to visit RQS at her place.

Once done with the outside world for the night, it was on to a Zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  We presented the option of getting together in the fall, but it looks like we'll have a better chance of getting together in 2025 when it is warm and dry.  (Or, at least, I hope so.) My one requirement is that if we meet somewhere, the place we meet must be LGBT friendly - especially to people of a non-conforming gender presentation. Although we talked of many things, I won't go into all of what we chatted about.  In short, it was nice to chat with these friends again....

Summing up problems - a quick post

 

So far, I have had to cancel several credit/debit cards, as well as replace my ID.  But this is not all, as I could never remember all of what I had in my wallet at the time I lost it.

- - - - - -

Today, my one excursion out of the house was to file a dispute with one of the banks issuing my credit cards, as  a transaction I thought was cancelled wasn't.  Luckily, the person on the call when I reported the card stolen told me to report the theft to the police and get a copy of the report.  This would prove very useful in a dispute - and I probably needed it....

My friends from Texas are amazed that I got so much done over the past couple of days.  Yet, I couldn't get the messes in my place cleaned up - even with a furniture delivery tomorrow afternoon.  What bothers me is that I won't be able to return to a female presentation for another few days yet, as all the appointments I have expect me to be presenting as a male.

- - - - - -

Sometime over the next few days, I have to visit a friend who is sitting Shiva.  Her mom was almost 98 years old, and had both a long and a good life.  The measure of a person is how much s/he is cared about (in a loving way) as s/he goes through life.  This woman was loved by the people who knew her.

The above gets me to think - It's been a while since I've seen Vicki #2, and I have to make the time to see her.  I might have seen her once after her spouse's memorial service.  But that's because our schedules did not permit getting together.

- - - - - -

So, to sum things up - my problems are first world problems that can be fixed with time and/or money.  Other people can and do have it worse....

By the time you read this, I will have returned from my trip.

 

Cloud Gate.  It's one of the most visually impressive works of art in Chicago.  But, with the expected weather, I doubt we'll have the chance to visit "The Electric Kidney Bean" (as some have called it.)  

- - - - - -

Last night, the 4 of us gals (3 Cis, and 1 TG) discussed our final plans for the trip.  And it looks like we'll be doing the hop on/off tour bus to make our way around the tourist sites in the city.  If I were traveling alone, I'd do things much differently from the way we're doing them on this trip, as I've been to the city before and would want to get to know it in greater detail, and not doing another "view from 30,000 feet."  

Chicago is one of those few cities that one needs more than a short weekend to fully enjoy what the city has to offer.  Too bad my friends will only have two days there.  Even RQS and I are staying for too short a time, as we leave the day after our friends.  I will have more to report when I get back....