Get me to the church on time!

 

This weekend, my next door neighbors finally got married after living here for several years.  They are a nice couple who knows me both as Marian and as Mario. Hopefully, they will make use of the wedding photo album I gave them.

- - - - - -

Thinking about churches....

Every so often, I mentioned to RQS that I'd like to attend services at the local church now and then. This Sunday, RQS surprised me and actually wanted to attend a service with me. Both of us got dressed in nice summer dresses, and drove to the church.

Things were the same, but very different from the last time I attended a service at the church.  They had both a new priest and a new deacon, and some of the faces I remember from when I last was there in 2022 weren't there this time.  Yet, it appeared that RQS was comfortable with the Sunday service, while my back was bothering me when I stood up for a while.  Eventually, the service ended, and I was surprised that the deacon did some volunteer work at the LGBT center I used to volunteer for.  I was glad that some people remembered me, and that RQS was welcomed as well.  Both RQS and I enjoyed the service for similar reasons - it provided an emotional connection to our pasts. And I think we'll end up going there again sooner than later.

- - - - - -

One of the things we've been talking about is taking another cruise, this time on MSC.  Will we do this?  Who knows?  It all depends on many factors, including the timing of my next co-op board meeting.  I keep checking on last minute cruises, and it looks like we might be able to afford one if the stars are in alignment.

While I'm on the subject of cruising, RQS and I have decided to write off one of the "Benefits" of Princess Promotions, and use our usual travel agent to book flights, hotels, and transfers for next year's Alaska cruise.  RQS had some sticker shock when she heard the price of the hotel stay.  I mentioned that it is no more expensive than the hotel in which we stayed in London.  This helped assuage her concerns.  But seeing a price of $1,000 for a 2 night stay in San Francisco is enough to give even me some some a little bit of sticker shock.

- - - - - -

For the most part, our day was over after we finished our breakfast at the diner.  But it was worth the effort to get up early and have a change of pace....

Some random thoughts

 

Right now, I'm thinking about what will happen if Trump wins the election.  And it doesn't look good for anyone in the LGBTIQ community.  Recently, I  found a map of states which have passed "Bathroom Bills", and these tend to be the states which seem the most extreme in "traditional values".  One thing I've learned over the years is that when religion becomes too powerful (or too weak) a force in society, that society becomes more authoritarian in enforcing conformity.

Does this affect me?  You bet it does!  And it could get much worse if these religious radicals get even more power in a Trump administration.

Looking at the map, I found that my going to the loo in Florida was a criminal act.  Given that all trans people need to take bio-breaks now and then, it would be risky for me to get off a cruise ship in this state. This has placed an artificial restriction on how I visit this state - if I do visit it at all.  Just because I can still visit in stealth mode doesn't mean that I want to do this.  Instead, I'll avoid this state altogether, with the exception of when RQS and I visit her sister.

- - - - - -

Right now, my brother and I are looking to file paperwork to have dual citizenship with the US and one nation in Europe.  Both of us are doing this for completely different reasons.  Yet, both of us have the same goal - to have a place to escape to if the crud hits the fan in the United States.  Could this happen?  Sadly, the answer is yes.  When I see ominous parallels between this country and the Germany of 100 years ago, I get worried. Sometimes, it's just best to be able to get out of Dodge City before sundown.

- - - - - -

Not all is gloom and doom with me.  The other day, I had an fMRI done as part of a scientific study. Now that the study is underway, I received an Amazon gift certificate which is enough for me to replace a dying TV I have in the house.  The software I have to use on a daily basis is fun to use, albeit not excitingly so.  (I guess I am no longer into video games in the way I once was when younger.) 

- - - - - -

Dealing with bureaucracy can be a big pain.  Recently, as mentioned above, my brother got a bug up his behind that we needed to accelerate the progress in getting a second passport.  To do this, we need to get official copies of our birth certificates and that of our father.  I told my brother that I needed copies of our father's death certificate (I know how large bureaucracies work with official paperwork) before I went down to the city.  He forgot to send me this paperwork, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get our father's birth certificate for a few weeks.

My brother has way too much on his plate right nw, and he needs to feel that he's in control.  He told me of a problem that took 20 years to develop, and that he expects to clean it up in 2 years.  He may be able to clean up his firm's mess, but it will take longer for him (or someone else) to change the corporate culture that caused the problem.  He doesn't see that, as he focuses on the financial side of things and not the people side of things.

- - - - - -

RQS found a cruise to New England and Eastern Canada that we wanted to take in September.  Although I could afford to drop $1,200 on a whim, I knew that RQS spending this kind of coin now would get in her way of being able to afford next year's Alaska cruise.  After sending her some financial details, she realized that we would not be able to get the price of the cruise down to a level she could afford.  But damn!  The cruise was so near, and yet so far.

We certainly could use a cruise this winter.  I was thinking of taking a cheap MSC cruise and paying for RQS as a Christmas or Birthday present.  However, the cruises offered by MSC stop in Florida, and I certainly don't want to deal with Florida's bathroom laws while traveling as Marian.  I guess that we will need to find another trip to take early next year.

- - - - - -

When I bought my car, the salesman "helpfully" set up the radio presets in my car, as well as setting up my first service appointment.  One problem - I had to redo the presets to organize them the way I wanted and I had to schedule car maintenance earlier than he planned.  His "help" wasn't that helpful, as I now have a service appointment scheduled that I'll have to cancel soon.

While I'm thinking about my car, I shudder to think of how the auto companies will try to turn car features from purchase options to subscription options.  GM is trying to ditch Android Auto and Apple Car Ply, so that they can convert services provided by Google and Apple for FREE, and making the car owner pay for Maps, directions, etc when in the car.  I guess this may mean that I'll have to keep my car on the road longer than the 8 years I planned. 

Why do I want to replace my car within 8 years?  New York, like California is trying to force people to switch to EVs from ICE vehicles (EV- Electric, ICE - Internal Combustion Engine).  I want to buy what will likely be my last car while I can still get a gas powered vehicle.  I'll bet dollars to donuts that we will not have sufficient electric infrastructure in place to support the ICE->EV transition by 2035.  

- - - - - -

Enough for now.   I hope you enjoyed some of my thoughts.....

 

It's hard to believe that Summer is almost over.

 

As I write this, it is the beginning of Labor Day weekend.  Summer is almost over, and I look forward to Autumn and its cool breezes.  In a few months, Winter will come and most people will be complaining about the cold.  As for me, it will mean that I'll have to ration my use of dresses to blend in more with cisgender females as I go out and about.

- - - - - -

Now that Autumn is almost here, I have a busy few weeks ahead of me.  Soon, I'll be visiting Philadelphia with RQS, and we'll also be planning a few day trips in the Hudson Valley region.  We'll also be spending time at RQS's place.  This means that I'll be spending time in Mario mode again. 😔  At least, she'll be happy to see Mario after spending much of the Summer with Marian.

Given that I'm participating in a scientific study, I expect that I'll have to find time each day to play the games meant to help develop mental acuity.  This will present a minor logistical issue when I travel, as I'll have to bring a laptop computer with me instead of the Chromebook I am accustomed to using while traveling.  The only time I expect that I will have a problem allocating time to this project is when I go on my next cruise and do not have access to Wi-Fi for the week.

- - - - - -

The arrival of Autumn does provide me with some opportunities to get dressed up a little and take RQS to a few nice restaurants.  Hudson Valley Restaurant Week usually takes place in early November, and I'll be sure to wear some of my fancier dresses (and, maybe some sexy underwear) when we go out.  Hopefully, some of our favorite places will be on the list, as I'd like to get back to Crabtree's Kittle House, Hudson House Inn, and Xavier X2O's (among other places) again.

Hopefully, this Autumn season will bring a better change of seasons than we've had for the past few years.  When I was young, I loved the deep red leaves we used to see on the trees and ground.  Now, we don't see that many, as the Fall doesn't last as long as it once seemed to do.  Yet, I still keep my fingers crossed to once again see the beauty I once saw in my youth.

 

Trekking into NYC and taking care of paperwork

 

I had one thing that I had to take care of today, and I can blame part of my failure to do so on my brother. Yet, today's focus is not on a minor screw up, but on visiting the neighborhood in which I used to work.

- - - - - - 

The plan for today was to trek into NYC to get an official copy of both my birth certificate and that of my deceased father.  I'd have no problem getting my own birth certificate.  But to get my dad's birth certificate, I would need an official copy of my dad's death certificate - which my brother was supposed to mail to me, but didn't.

So, around 11 am, I drove to Croton-Harmon railroad station, stopping first at a local deli. Instead of taking 5 minutes to get my usual sausage and egg sandwich, it took 15.  So I arrived at the train station with barely enough time to make the 11:48 train.  And when I say barely, I mean just that.  I was in the elevator with 3 minutes to go, and had just purchased my train ticket as the train came into the station.  Luckily, I was able to make it down the stairs and onto the train without rushing, as I'd have to wait another 30+ minutes for the next train.

Arriving at Grand Central, I noticed hot hot and humid it felt.  (I was glad that I had chosen to travel as Mario, as wearing a wig would have been too much to deal with today.)  30 minutes later, I was downtown and in front of NYC's bureau of vital records.  (I wish I had kept in the habit of walking at least 2 miles each day, as my legs were bothering me for the first mile I walked.) After checking to make sure I was at the right building, I killed time at the Starbucks across the street.

Once inside, it was bureaucracy in action.  First, one takes a number.  Next, one enters ALL the information needed to purchase a vital record, in my case a birth certificate. And then, you wait for your number to be called and to pay for your service.  While entering my data, I was told that my dad's birth certificate had to be ordered by mail AND that I needed my dad's death certificate.  AARGH!  I could have stayed comfortable and done everything by mail had my brother sent me the death certificate as promised.

- - - - - -

Once done with the bureau of vital records, I walked over to where I used to work (a much longer walk than I remembered) to get lunch at the Halal cart I used to regularly patronize.  Although there were 2 carts there now, I picked one that best resembled what I remembered from 10 years ago and ordered my old everyday order - a chicken and lamb combo with lots of white sauce and a touch of hot sauce.  But I now had a problem. Where could I sit down and eat?  So I decided to walk a couple of blocks and find a place to sit.  The only place I found with open seats was inside a playground for dogs.  This was perfect, as I had free entertainment provided by the dogs and their owner while I enjoyed my meal.

Soon, I was on my way back home, and I was back in my car around 5 pm.  Once at home, I fell asleep for an hour or so and then was ready to take care of some chores before calling it a day.  At least, I likely won't need to trek into NYC again for paperwork purposes anytime soon.

Did I do Laundry? No! But I did go shopping.

 

There's an old saying that goes: "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."  Given how hot it was today, it made sense for me to stay inside for most of the day, only bothering to go outside to do some shopping at Walmart and to pick up some things at CVS.  

- - - - - -

Today's shopping list included a motley assortment of items:

• New Sneakers to replace ones that are wearing out
• Makeup, specifically Eyebrow Liner and Setting Powder
  
• Gift bag to hold a photo album that I'm giving to my neighbors for their wedding.
  (They don't expect anything from me, but they are a nice young couple who I like a lot.)

My first stop was at Walmart, so that I could buy the sneakers.  In theory, I could have bought everything here.  However, I was in a rush to get the sneakers, then go for some dinner before an 8 pm zoom meeting with my Texas friends. While at Walmart, I encountered my friendly transgender checkout clerk.  When she asked me why I wasn't on her line, I noted that I didn't want to cut in front of the person next on line.  Then that person let me in, so I could chat for a minute with my friend.

Soon afterwards, I was on my way to dinner, and then to CVS.  Did I pick up the gift bag while picking up makeup?  No.  That would have to wait until after the Zoom meeting.  So I opened the zoom meeting, and it didn't last as long as usual.  (RQS and I would chat about this later on.  But I won't go into details here.)  I still had to go back to CVS to pick up the gift bag, and I could have our nightly chat while I was driving.

I found the gift bag I wanted at CVS, and took a long drive around Northern Westchester while chatting with RQS.  Instead of taking the usual routes that I would drive, I made sure not to hit the usual cell phone dead spots - this had me doubling back along the route I drove to Tarrytown.  Once home, I finished up some paperwork I needed before going to NYC to request long form birth certificates for myself and my late father.  (Hopefully, I won't have any problems with this request, as I need to file both my father's and my birth certificates as part of the chain of ancestry I need to prove on some government paperwork I have to start filing soon. And then, I started to do the brain exercises required by the study I'm participating in.  Were they fun?  Yes, only because they are presented as a game.  However, this could get boring quickly.

- - - - - - 

So, am I a mad dog or an Englishman?  Probably not, as I avoided going outside in the worst of the heat.  But I did end up going outside after all....
 

Do I talk about the fMRI, or do I talk about the brain function test?

 

OK, I must start by informing my readers that both things had to do with the scientific study I am participating in.  Neither was much effort, but both took valuable time out of my life for which I will be compensated.

- - - - - -

My day started with getting dressed as Mario.  There was no way I was going to go to the fMRI place in Laurelton, Queens with more clothing than I needed to wear.  Shaving closer than usual (something I wish I didn't need to do for presenting as Marian), I proceeded to get ready to cross the East River and make it to the MRI center by 2:30 pm.  Although I was in the area around 2:00 pm, I killed time, so that I could arrive at 2:30 sharp.

I had to wait a few minutes and fill in some forms before being directed to the MRI area to strip and get ready for the procedure.  When I put my clothes in the locker, I found that the locker door was off one of its hinges, and that I couldn't fully secure my property.  This didn't worry me too much, as access to this area of the property was controlled - no one would be likely to sneak in and steal my property.  

But I digress....

At 3:00 pm, I was brought to the MRI machine, and my head was placed in a position where it couldn't move.  Then, the "fun" began.  I was given headphones to deaden the noise from outside, a mask was put over my head to lock it into place, and then I was slid into the machine.  A cacophony of noise assaulted my ears even with the headset on, and then I developed an itch I couldn't scratch for 15 minutes.  

When the 15 minutes and noise ended, I slid out of the device and proceeded to get dressed to return home.  (I'm not going to like my next visit here at the end of the study.)  Traffic flowed, but slowed down a little the closer I got to rush hour.  Before I got home, I stopped in Pleasantville to get some lobster from the lobster truck, then continued home for the evening.

- - - - - -

The next thing on my docket was the webinar/base line assessment which gave the researchers an idea of what my performance levels were when the study started.  So, at 8:00 pm, I logged onto the webinar and spent the next hour filling in several questionnaires and playing "games" to determine my level of performance on each of several sets of tasks for their baseline.  (I'd love to know what each of these tasks were supposed to test.)  I'd describe each of these "games" as a version of the games "Simon" and "Bop It".  They started out easy, but got more challenging as short term memory and spatial recognition were exercised in these tasks.

I was off line by 9:00 pm, and am now awaiting further instructions.  Soon, the "fun" will begin.

 

 

PS: It took me about 30 minutes to get the studs back in my earlobes.  Overnight, one hole may have closed, and I may have forced it open without pain.  But the stud will need to stay in place for another couple of months....

Where does a non-op trans person go to the loo?

 

Although this may be a short post, it poses a dilemma that can cause us problems if in the wrong place at the wrong time - Where can a non-op trans person go to the loo while traveling across the United States?

When I first started going out as Marian, I worried what people would think when I went to the women's room to relieve myself. In New York, I didn't feel that I had to worry much - even though I may not have looked as much as a woman than a man in a dress.  But I had serious concerns.  Over time, both my feminine presentation skills and my confidence in going out as Marian developed quite a bit.  Most of the time now, I think people see me as an oversized woman instead of a fat man in a dress.

I've traveled as Marian, having taken cruises to New England/Eastern Canada ports, to Eastern Caribbean ports (only getting off at St. Martin and St. Thomas), to ports along the California coast, and to Hawaii. In addition, I've traveled to Washington, DC and Chicago, Il as Marian.  But I know that I have to be careful where I travel, given laws that affect transgender people.  For example, GOP states have enacted laws that limit where transgender people can relieve themselves.  I was surprised to find that Texas (with its laws that prohibit gender changes on legal documents) hasn't yet (as far as this map shows) been enacted a bathroom bill.  (Maybe I can find a way to visit my friends in Texas after all....)

Soon, RQS and I may schedule a last minute cruise to New England/Eastern Canada on the same ship that will take us to Bermuda.  This will only happen if a co-op meeting has to be postponed.  I'm hoping that we can take this cruise, as it will be nice to cruise again as Marian. 

 

PS: I can say that I committed a criminal act in one of the states I've visited by going to the loo.  It's nice to be a criminal!