Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Follow-up Thoughts (02/03/25)

 

This was a day that I completed some tasks, but left more of them undone.  There's the old adage that one needs a vacation following a vacation to recharge from the first vacation.  And that seems true for the two of us.  RQS rushed to make final payment for our New England/Eastern Canada cruise - I guess she wants to make sure that the cruise is paid for while she has the money to pay for the cruise.  (And I can't blame her for doing so.)  I'll pay my share of the remaining monies owed later on this week.  And then we can look into a Bermuda cruise to be taken earlier in the spring.

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I never thought that I'd warm up to MSC cruises after my December 2023 cruise to Florida and the Bahamas.  However both the cruise line and I have changed a bit since then.  The ship has improved its food and entertainment offerings since my last cruise, and I have developed realistic expectations for an inexpensive cruise on this ship. Given the price of cruising these days, MSC has become much more attractive than it used to be for me. I know how to get value from their cruises, and I know not to use them for "bucket list" cruises.

There are times where I miss cruising with my former cruise partner.  Yet, we got into a big rut over time.  Although I made a big mistake which ended our friendship, I still look upon the times we had together as good times.  Yet, these were times that couldn't last forever.  Cruising with her took time away from what I should have been spending with my then girlfriend.  This time around, I make sure that RQS comes with me, with a rare exception or two.

If more cruise lines offered true solo cabins at a reasonable price, I'd have considered cruising more often.  However, I often find that on the lines that do offer solo cabins, the prices for these cabins often exceed that of a double occupancy cabin.  So, it is nice to again have a partner to sail with - especially one who is also my romantic interest.

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There are many places to go and so little time and money available to make those trips possible.  Hopefully, I will soon have the resources to do another bucket list trip.  I'll inform my readers if that does happen....

Miracles of modern dentistry?

Long gone are the days where going to the dentist would be this uncomfortable.  Unlike getting a leg amputated in the Civil War, one couldn't bite a bullet to deal with the pain of a tooth extraction.  Years later, they perfected filling technology and local anesthesia, making a visit to the much less painful (except, maybe, in the wallet).  And now, the balance between bodily pain and financial pain is in favor of financial pain, as fewer people fear going to the dentist today than in the past.

Today was my visit to the dentist.  In addition to a scheduled teeth cleaning, I got an updated set of x-rays and a dental exam.  $500 later, I was out of the office with another appointment scheduled in 2 weeks for a small filling.  AARGH!   At least I have the money in the bank to afford it.  But this is only one of the money sucks that I'll deal with this month.

Sometime later in the year, I may decide to take another (small) distribution from my 401k, this time to finance a dental implant that I've done without for over 10 years.  If I had stayed employed with the bank, I'd have done this already.  After 10 years, the dentist will have to start from scratch, including a CAT Scan of my jaw to see if I have enough bone mass for the implant..  And this will cost even more money,  Not having the tooth in this place has affected how I chew on food.  So this may finally be the time I deal with the problem once and for all....

An evening with DCD

 

DCD is a strange person.  He doesn't always learn from his past, and he makes the same type of mistakes over and over again.  Tonight was a typical example of dealing with him....

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I met DCD at a New Rochelle diner a little after he completed work for the day.  When he arrived, he started to tell me what was going on in his life, and I mentioned that his present situation with his girlfriend is similar to where I was with Ex-GF-M over 10 years ago.  His girlfriend is addicted to tobacco and alcohol, and wants DCD to participate in the addiction triangle: Person A, Person B, and the Addiction.  Whether or not Person B is addicted or not, Person B's behavior will either be that of participating in an addiction, or trying to deal with Person A's addiction.  DCD is the latter type.

I'm not saying that DCD has his act together.  He doesn't pay attention to advice given to him by well meaning friends, nor does he car about things such as payment instructions.  We chatted a little about Zelle and I mentioned that I don't use it because it has become a hacker's paradise.  Once a hacker is able to get into your account via Zelle fraud, the banks have a nasty habit of saying that your money is lost forever.  Yet, when we finished our meal, DCD didn't ask me how I wanted to get paid - he sent me money via Zelle!  This pissed me off!!!!  I planned to take the advice given by Clark Howard (Clark.com), and avoid the use of Zelle to protect myself from scams.  And now, I had to use it to receive money from DCD!  AARGH!!!!!  (No wonder why his relationships fail - he doesn't pay attention to any important messages from anyone.)  Luckily, I don't have any banking apps on my phone, and avoid them like the plague.  I prefer to use my PC or Chromebook for financial transactions, and was able to use one of my lesser bank relationships to receive DCD's money.

When I asked DCD why he uses Zelle, he mentioned that he doesn't like "float".  What he did wasn't related to float.  Instead, it was related to his record keeping - he doesn't want to worry about whether a check has cleared or not - if he does a small value payment via Zelle, the money has left his account and his account inquiry always shows a current balance.  (One the way home, I mentioned this to RQS, and she said that DCD will continue doing things his own way, and not care about what others say to him in regard to their interactions with him.)

I'll end up seeing DCD again on Friday, if only to hand him paperwork for the car.  Hopefully, he won't screw things up, as I want the car out of my driveway within the next 2 1/2 weeks.

My checking account shrinketh...

 

Like many retirees, I am draining both my savings accounts and my checking accounts.  I made the decision to do this when I quit the job I had at the imaging firm.  As much as it pains me to see my balances go down, I know that this annoyance will end soon - when Social Security payments kick in.

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Unlike many people, I am lucky to have a pension, a reasonably sized social security payment (as of January), and a 401K which I have only touched once.  Managed properly, in an age of low inflation, I am reasonably set for life - as long as I stay tolerably healthy.  And I will be trying to stay tolerably healthy for as long as I can do so.

But what does this all mean?

In order to stay healthy, I will need to lose weight and become more active.  The older I get, the harder this is to do. There is a benefit to this - I will be able to refresh my wardrobe from more sites that I can now choose from.  It'll be much easier to buy nice clothes when I'm a size-22w than now, when I am a size-28w. 

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And now, back to checks....

I rarely write checks these days, save for those recipients to whom I don't want to make electronic money transfers.  When I was gainfully employed, I worked on machines which would process over 2mm checks per day, items moving through check sorters at 20 mph.  Now, if a bank receives a check, it is captured where it is received, and digital copies of the check are electronically exchanged between banks.  Check volume is only a small fraction of what it once was, and that is a good thing.  Yet, I miss the old way of doing things.  It was tactile (in some ways) and physical.  Today's method of moving money may be more secure, but it is too easy to lose track of where one's money is going.

Would I switch back to paper checks for most of my bills?  No.  Even I respect today's reality and accept change for the benefits it provides.  But I do miss the days when I was paid very well for a business model which is mostly obsolete now.

Work - Should I or shouldn't I?

 

Today's post will be a quick one....

I don't recall ever feeling physically exhausted from 40 years of working in front of a computer screen.  But this job is very different.  There is not enough visual downtime from low level mental processing.  So an interesting question comes to me - Should I or Shouldn't I continue going to work?  Should I retire for good?

Although I enjoy going to work as Marian, it's not the work I wanted to do.  But the money coming in is very useful to me.  And I need to make it last.  So I was having a conversation with a friend at work, and we were discussing financial issues while I was working at indexing documents.  She didn't understand what I was trying to do with money (planning on putting money into Roth IRAs 2 years in a row instead of using the company 401k plan), but it made sense after an explanation.  This gave us an opening to talk about finances after work one day.  It should be an interesting conversation....

I don't know what I did all day, but I made up for it at night.

 

Sometimes, I feel that this model of Linda Blair from the Exorcist looks more realistic than I do. But then, Linda was born to be a cisgender woman, while I am transgender.  I figure that there is very little I can do about my image, save to lose weight, get facial feminization surgery, and see if I have enough hair for transplants (and having this procedure done if possible).  Until then, I will not feel that I can be remotely pretty in my own right.

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Like this model, I could be in my jammies all day if it were convenient.  And with the snow falling today, I did just that. Television was the order of the day until it was time to get ready for a co-op board meeting.  And then the "fun" began....

First, I exchanged a few messages with my ex girlfriend, and she was in the office having to take care of some tasks.  A little bit later, shortly before 4 pm, she decided to cut out early, as the roads weren't plowed well in her area.  So this gave me an excuse to end our chat, and to get ready for the board meeting. Then, FH called me, and wanted to get together on Friday.  This way, she could take her ailing dog to the vet, and we could go to dinner afterwards. Next, TCL called, and I didn't have the time to talk with her, as the co-op board meeting was about to start. (I figured that we could chat later on.)  After a while, my brother called during the meeting. So I sent him a message to tell him that I'd call him back. (He was calling to tell me that a check deposited to our joint account had cleared, and that I could pull my share of the money out of the account.) And then, FL called to shoot the breeze. Here was another call that I had to put off until after the board meeting. Finally, TCL called again, and I said that I'd call her back after the board meeting ended.

You'll note that I haven't said anything about the board meeting.  Well, most of what goes on in these meetings are not for public consumption. We have a lot of work ahead of us for the next few weeks, and I figure that we will likely have a few vendor selection meetings coming up in the near future.  My new job may get in the way of my participation, as I expect that I'll be getting out of work at 5:00, and I won't have time to do anything until 6:00.  And then, I figure that I'll have to turn my video off, as I'll still be in my feminine presentation when I get home.

Eventually the meeting ended, with all attendees feeling exhausted.  I returned my brother's call, then texted FL, and finally got the chance to chat with TCL for a while. At least, I was finally able to schedule dinner with Maria for later this week....