Parting is such sweet sorrow

 

So many odds and ends for people to catch up on, and I'm in the middle of many of them.

Let me explain.... 

I've been there for RQS through 2 emergency room visits, and forced diet changes caused by her ailments.  This is not a problem for me, as I need to have less ultra-processed food in my diet.  However, it may crimp our style when we choose places to eat for our once (or more) per week nights out.  In many ways, this will be a good thing, as I will need to clean much of the crap out of my cupboard, replacing it with healthy foods.

Before leaving RQS today, we decided on a place where we will have her birthday dinner.  It's a nice restaurant where we've held two of our co-op board's yearly dinners.  Since it will be the first weekend of Hudson Valley Restaurant week, I figured that we could have a nice dinner for a little less than I'd normally pay for such a dinner.

When I got home, I texted my brother to ask him how the house is coming along.  Well, we may have to make some hard decisions, so that we can rent the place out as soon as possible.  It looks like my brother's car got totaled by some idiot kid driving recklessly on a side street while my brother was patiently waiting for a light.  Given his workload, etc. I wasn't going to push him for information for my taxes.  However, he said that he should have things ready soon.  And I made arrangements to help him with work on the house next weekend - something I hate doing, but needs to be done.

I wish I could have stayed with RQS another day, but I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  If I make the time AND get my bedroom cleaned up enough to have my bed delivered on Tuesday, I may decide to go into the city and see an old movie, completely recut and reedited with never seen footage - Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.  Will this end up being the final version of this production?  I doubt it.  Although this version has much of Bob Guccione's porn removed, it is still a flawed film.  Yet, I'll bet that someone will rework the film into something better than the the 2 versions that currently exist for sale.

I apologize for ranting too much

 

Lately, it seems to me, that I've been complaining about things going on in the world too much.  Yes, Our rights as transgender people are under attack, and our president is "owned" by Russia, and is doing Russia's bidding.  Yet, I am grateful to live in a state where I can come and go as my authentic self, without worry that I will be hassled by any law enforcement authority.

Yet, I've noticed something.  For reasons other than fear, I haven't been getting outside of my place enough and living an authentic life.  Could it be the weather?  (As I write this, it is raining outside.)  Could it be commitments I have that requires me to present as Mario?   (I had to go out as Mario in order to buy a new Mattress and Bed Frame last night.) Could it be anything else? (I did spend part of the day sorting out some of the containers behind my loveseat.) There have been so many things that I needed to do, that I have felt a little overwhelmed and have retreated into my comfort space.

One has to keep one's focus on what's important, so that can take care of the most important things first.  I may not have been doing that.  Yesterday, I worked around the house, possibly to avoid spending the money I knew I'd have to spend on new bedding.  It could be much worse.  My brother is putting in 50-60 hours each week in a job for which should only need 40. He also has to deal with fire department financials, managing the project of bringing the family homestead into a shape where we can raise the rent on the place, and to prepare financials for the house, so that I can get my taxes done.  And, to top it all off, he is flying out west to see my nephew for the weekend.

As you can see, there are other people who are under more stress than I am.  But I expect that we all will start to suffer if the orange snowflake does half the damage to America that he could be doing.  If you find yourself starting to be overwhelmed by fear and worry about the future, just remember these words that are applicable in almost every situation:

 

"This too, shall pass." 

 

The trick will be to keep one's perspective while it passes....