Am I dreaming? If so, don't wake me.

 

Lately, I've been writing about the mundane things in life.  After a transgender person gets the courage to go out and about in the world, one's day to day experiences return to being just everyday experiences. Some of these experiences are social, and others are related to the configuration of one's body.  Once these experiences have become common enough, one doesn't think about them much.

Although RQS thinks of me as her boyfriend who likes to dress funny (and I'm comfortable with being this way), she also sees me as someone that she can share typical "girly" experiences with - such as going for a mani-pedi.  After getting used to seeing me present as a female, she has gotten very comfortable with me this way and will occasionally show me subtle public displays of affection.

RQS wants me to keep my male body configuration, and only use prosthetics to create my feminine body shape.  (She doesn't mind me getting electrolysis to remove my facial and body hair.  It's going the next step that bothers her.)  And I can live with that to have a good romantic relationship.  So far, things are going much better than expected.  RQS has suggested that the two of us get made up by a professional, then dress to the nines, and go out somewhere fancy.  This will not happen until after we get back from our cruise.  

Could this be a dream?  If so, I don't want to wake up.

Preparing for 2 cruises and looking forward to #3 (and maybe #4).

 

Towards the end of my tenure at the bank, FCP invited me to take a cruise with her, traveling as Marian.  It was a interesting experience, as I was outside of my comfort zone.  This would be the first of several cruises I would be taking as Marian, and something that accelerated my growth as Marian.

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Lately, I've been preparing for a cruise (as Mario) with RQS this fall, as well as preparing for a solo Hawaii Cruise (as Marian) later this year. To feel comfortable in the warm Hawaiian weather this winter, I've bought some informal dresses I could wear while there and look forward to wearing them on the cruise.

Assuming that all goes well on the first cruise, RQS and I may choose to take another cruise in the spring.  The main issue we think we'll have with this cruise will not be on the cruise itself.  It will be with her cats.  Will she have enough caregivers visiting often enough to feed her cats, clean their litter boxes, and show them some affection while we're gone?  This problem is one I dealt with after my cat died over 10 years ago by not adopting a new pet.  So I don't say anything negative about her cats, as I understand how they become family during their short lives.

I've been half-heartedly trying to convince RQS to take a specific Panama Canal cruise (a full transit through the historic locks) this coming spring, as it might be a last golden opportunity to see my uncle while he's alive. It's been fun trying to find ways to make this cruise into a more affordable reality (time and money), and it's something I should be able to afford next year.  RQS's issue with this is finding cat caregivers for the better part of 3 weeks, and I'm not sure if my brother (and his wife) are up to the task.  Luckily, this cruise will be offered for the 2024 season, and I may have a second opportunity to take this cruise. Hopefully, RQS and I will be able to do it together.

If we can't do the Panama Canal cruise due to RQS's time/cat caregiver constraints, we may take a 11 day Caribbean cruise.  This would be the second time I'd be in the area as Mario, and it wouldn't be as much fun as traveling as Marian.  Let's see what happens next.

Lots of clutter in 2 apartments

 

Both RQS and I have clutter from other people that resides in our apartments.  My clutter comes from artifacts of both my family, of my late wife and her family. RQS's clutter has similar sources, but more of them.  And we have taken it upon ourselves to help each other clean up the messes which define our apartments.

In our generation, possessions were handed down from generation to generation.  We expected our children to live in spaces bigger than the generations before them.  My late wife preserved the engraved crystal her parents and grandparents used on special occasions. Others preserved expensive place settings used (if ever) for these occasions. And I don't intend to get started on tchotchkes such as Hummel figurines. The baby boomers as a whole seem to believe in accumulating "stuff" to be handed on to future generations - even if it has no demonstrated value or use.

Right now, I am trying to being my apartment into a shape where I can have friends over to visit. RQS is good for me in this area.  And I know I'll have to pay her back this winter by helping her clear out the mess in her place.  By the time we are done, I figure that we'll have an idea of what our long term relationship will look like.  And that's a good thing....

Fireworks!

Although this is not one of my better photographs, it gives the viewer an idea of what RQS and I saw this weekend....

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One of the things about living in the Hudson Valley is that we have a choice of fireworks displays to choose from on any given holiday/holiday weekend.  This year, I decided to take RQS to see the Labor Day fireworks display at West Point, but view it from across the Hudson River in Cold Spring.

For those of my readers who don't know the Hudson Valley, Cold Spring is a sleepy little river town about 90 minutes from NYC by train.  Like many river towns around here, there is a little area near the river front where one can often find a park, a railroad station, and some marinas; with a main street that goes up a long hill.  When I moved to the area, Cold Spring was about to be found by the artistic community, and housing prices were about to zoom beyond the ability of locals to afford them. Today, Cold Spring is one of the more expensive towns in which to live in the Mid Hudson Valley. And it has kept much of its small town charm.  This year, it coordinated its neighborhood street fair to coincide with West Point's fireworks display. 

I normally don't pay close attention to what happens in many of the river towns, so I was a little surprised to find out about the street fair, as it blocked direct access to the river.  However, I was able to find a set of side roads which led us away from Main Street and to the river.  Once I found a convenient parking spot, we had a couple of hours to kill before the fireworks started. So we found a vacant park bench and listened to the Slambovian Circus of Dreams until the fireworks began.

Although watching West Point's fireworks from Cold Spring did not provide us with an optimal view, it did make it very easy to go home from the park.  We didn't have to drag lawn chairs for 3/4 to a car nor did we have to deal with traffic jams getting out of West Point and getting across the Bear Mountain Bridge.

A letter from a friend.

 

In 2019, I went on a solo cruise, leaving both FCP and XGFJ at home.  This was one of my most enjoyable cruises, as I did not have to care about what someone else was doing.  I didn't have to deal with FCP wanting to be the center of attention, and I didn't have to care about XGFJ dragging me out to do things I wasn't interested in at the time.  This cruise was all about me and my relaxation, and I enjoyed all the days I was on the cruise.

On the cruise, I met two people I wanted to keep in touch with.  One fell by the wayside.  The other, I'm still in contact with today.  This person (who I'll call CLK) lives in Canada, and we haven't seen each other since that cruise.  After Covid travel restrictions were relaxed, she passed through the NYC area on her way to/from a cruise.  Unfortunately, we weren't able to connect with each other then.  And today, I received a response to an email I wrote a couple of days ago.

CLK has been busy with her career, and is busy taking care of her aging parents.  Before Covid hit, she was scheduled to take a Panama Canal cruise on my favorite NCL ship.  Sadly, her mom had some ailments which caused CLK to cancel her cruise, and then Covid struck.  Things became hectic for CLK, as being a caregiver took up the past 2 years of her life outside of her full time job, and she had some issues of her own.

It's always a pleasure to receive a letter from CLK, as it allows us to keep in contact - and hopefully, meet up with each other again.  She now has a cruise scheduled with her family scheduled for later this year, and has a moonlighting gig as well.  I'm rooting for her and her family, as her mom is dealing with health issues typical of someone born 80-90 years ago.  I hope that next time I receive an email, that some of her mom's issues have been successfully dealt with.  But until then, I'll just wait for her next email....

I won't go into details, but....

 

In the past, I found out that one of my acquaintances' children is a member of the LGBT community.  Thinking little of this, I put it into the back of my mind.  Today, I found out that this girl (for now) is identifying as a male, prefers to use he, him, and his pronouns, and goes to a LGBT group affiliated with the LGBT center I used to volunteer at.

It's going to be hard for me (at first) getting used to using the new pronouns, as this youth is already going through a female puberty.  S/he has already developed breasts, and is at an age where puberty blockers should be used if  s/he doesn't want to develop other female characteristics, such as widened hips.  But, should I tell the parents what to look out for?  I'm of mixed mind, as I don't want to get involved unless I am asked to get involved.

Right now, the parents may think that she is going through a phase that she'll grow out of.  I hope they are right.  If not, I know this youth will be loved whatever gender s/he identifies as being....

I finally decided to take a small risk.

 

As I mentioned before, I will be taking a Hawaii cruise later this year. I have already booked my excursions, and have an idea of what my travel arrangements will be like.  (At best, they will suck big time. But the price is right.) The one thing I've been hemming and hawing about is whether I'd submit a bid to upgrade my inside cabin to a balcony cabin.

Some of you might say that taking the risk of spending $220 to upgrade my cabin is worth the money.  However, a bit of thought went into choosing the cabin location, and an upgrade is like buying a pig in a poke. One doesn't know the quality of what one is getting until the deal is complete.  I don't want to be in a position where I traded a good room for something less acceptable if I had known what I was buying. However, spending $220 to get a good cabin which I'd have spent another $1600+ more is worth the risk I would be taking.  

After more hemming and hawing, I made a decision to bid on the upgrade.  Given that the ship is still sailing at 40%-50% of capacity, there should be a decent number of balcony cabins that would otherwise go unoccupied.  So, if I snag a good cabin, it's a win-win for both the cruise line and me.  I get a better deal on a better cabin than I would have gotten when I made my reservation, and the cruise line gets extra money from me for the same level of service.  If they don't accept my bid, I will be in a good cabin.  And, if they do accept the bid, I will be in a balcony cabin enjoying a cool ocean breeze when sailing between the islands.

One thing I can say - I'll be sure to take lots of pictures....