Game Meat Dinner - A Quick Post

Once each year, a local restaurant closes its dining room so that special patrons can enjoy a dinner made from "wild" game meats.  (I didn't ask about the origin of these meats.)  Today's dinner consisted of Venison, Rabbit and Quail.  This is something my late wife would have loved had she been alive for this dinner, as she loved deer meat.  And if it weren't for DS mentioning this dinner to me, I never would have gone....

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Today was a day that I couldn't rest well.  I had not been able to get much sleep the night before, as I had way too much caffeine on my way home.  So when I tried to take an afternoon nap, I just couldn't rest.  If I had not committed to this dinner the night before, I wouldn't have gone to this dinner - but I'm glad I did.

Arriving at 6 pm, I was earlier than the rest of the gang.  This was my first time with the DISH meetup group, and I didn't want to be late.  However, I should have taken my time, as I was waiting 30 minutes for others to arrive.  Once the rest of our group arrived, I was engaged in enjoyable conversation with two women - both of which I hope to get to know further as Marian.  And then DS arrived, completing our group.

As you can guess from the pictures above, we had Venison, Rabbit and Quail in several different ways.  I enjoyed the Venison Sausage and Meatballs more than the other Venison dishes.  And if offered, I'll have Rabbit anytime it's available to me.  Quail, on the other hand, is a waste of time to eat, as there is not enough meat on the bones to make the time it takes to eat it worth the effort.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do more things with this meetup group in the future.  It's a friendly group, and one which I feel that I'll be warmly accepted as Marian.

A visit to the Doctor - A Quick Post

 

Last month, my doctor gave me a physical and had some blood work done on me.  Seeing some of the results of the blood work gave me some concern - I didn't have a bad cholesterol level before, but I did now.  So it was with some trepidation that I visited my doctor today.

I arrived at 10:00, but the doctor lost track of my appointment. He was seeing another patient in waiting room #1, so I was placed in waiting room #2.  At that point, the fun began - they wondered where I was, as if I never made it to my appointment.  It wasn't until I came out to the receptionist's desk at 10:20 that they realized I was there, and that my appointment would finally start.

First up was someone new in the office.  If I recall correctly, this woman was a newly minted doctor doing an externship.  (She could be looking at the practice, trying to figure out whether it would be a good one to buy out, or buy into.  But that's another story.)  She did the first run on my vitals before my internist came in to double check his assistant's work.  Instead of reviewing the results of my lab work as planned, I came out with the expectation that a new medication can help with some of the medical issues I have.  If this drug is affordable and covered by my plan - Great.  If not, I'll ask him for alternatives to this drug.

Within an hour after arriving, I was out the door.  And just as well.  I simply wanted to get into Marian mode for the rest of the day....

 

PS: If the doctor is looking at selling his practice and this woman buys it, I will talk about my TG nature with her....

Traveling to/from NYC

 

East Side Access / Grand Central Madison.  It's been a dream for many people for years.  However, it was not available when I needed it, nor was it in public use by year end 2022 as promised by the MTA.  If East Side Access was available when I needed it, I might have used mass transit to reach the airport instead of staying at a hotel near the airport before my flight to Hawaii.

Unlike some lucky cities, two major railroads controlled access to Manhattan island by rail: The New York Central Railroad and the Pennsylvania Railroad.  Although both of these railroads are long gone, the competing infrastructure they built still remains for commuter rail and for intercity rail.  This legacy has created a system where I am unable to use Amtrak for trips to/from my home station, unless I pay for an expensive trip into Pennsylvania Station, NY (NYP) or use the NYC Subway to reach Pennsylvania Station from Grand Central Terminal (GCT).  (Amtrak's fares actively discourage people from using Empire Service to reach NYC from the North, as it doesn't want to provide commuter service along this route.) Historical airport placement doesn't help either, as none of the 3 major NYC airports were designed for mass transit to deliver people people between Manhattan and the airports. As a result, I couldn't justify traveling into NYP, then using either New Jersey Transit (NJT) or Long Island Railroad (LIRR) to reach Newark (EWR) or Kennedy (JFK) airports.  Even reaching La Guardia (LGA) airport is a pain, as one can only reach LGA (via mass transit) via the NYC Subway, then connecting to a bur to the airport.  

At both JFK and EWR, special transit has been built to transport people between railroad stations and the airports.  But this can result in awkward land based trips to reach the airport.  For example, had East Side Access (ESA) been available to me, I'd still need to take Metro North (MNRR) into NYC, then transfer to a LIRR train to Jamaica, and finally a special "AirTrain" to JFK.  EWR and LGA would still be unavailable to me.

Years ago, there were buses that (for a small fee) would transport people between the NYP and GCT railroad hubs and the 3 NYC area airports.  Sadly, the last time I looked, these buses are no more.  If I want to go to an airport, I either have to find cheap parking nearby, or use an expensive cab to reach the airport. I am worse off now than I was 30 years ago!

However, this problem isn't limited to air travel.  With the exception of the Manhattan cruise terminal, cruise ships dock in either Brooklyn, NY or Bayonne, NJ.  Neither is good for many people as one can only reach these terminals from Manhattan via an expensive cab or Uber ride.  If one lives in the outer boroughs, the expense is even worse.  Only if I'm traveling from RQS's place will I consider going to Red Hook, Brooklyn to go on a cruise.  It would cost me way too much to reach Brooklyn from my home - I might as well fly somewhere where cheaper cruises are being offered.  As for Bayonne, I doubt that I will ever cruise out of that port, as I can not justify the excessive cost of leaving my car in a unattended (or under attended) parking lot.

As you can guess, New York City is not a place that makes it easy for frugal travel.  But I still find ways to do so, and will continue to write about my exploits as Marian and as Mario as they occur.

I'll have what she's having.

 

This weekend, RQS and I went to see an exhibit at the New York Historical Society: "I'll have what she's having" : The Jewish Deli.  The exhibit tries to capture the history of the Jewish Deli in New York, and how it has contributed to our American culture.  If you're in the area before April, '23, I suggest that you try to visit and tell me what you think.  Would you have what she's having? 😀

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I had a lunch appointment with a former coworker from the imaging firm I worked at last year.  This meant that I wasn't going to be able to make it to RQS's place until after sundown.  At lunch, this friend told me that she was laid off from the imaging place, but that it was just as well.  It gave her greater flexibility to take care of family needs (such as driving her younger son home from school) as well as being able to work on one of her side hustles.   I caught her up on what was happening in my life, and we agreed to try and get together more often.

Once done with my friend, I went home to take care of a couple of things and change into Mario mode for the rest of the weekend.  By the time I was done at home, it was almost 5 pm, and it took me about 90 minutes to get to RQS's neighborhood.  I never mind that, but it was the search for a parking spot that got to me.  It must have taken over 20 minutes for me to find a spot.  And even then, I had to check that I was at least 15 feet from the fire hydrant.  The last thing I wanted was a ticket for parking too close, so I measured the distance to ensure that the car was parked in compliance with the law - unlike the car parked in front of the hydrant.  (The only reason I took the above picture was to be able to demonstrate in court with empirical evidence that I was legally parked.  And I consider myself lucky that I didn't need to do so.)  This was the space my car was in until I left Sunday evening.

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Saturday came, and the two of us didn't get moving until 2 pm.  It took us a little over an hour to get to the New York Historical Society building, but it was worth the effort.  The exhibition we wanted to see was both entertaining and educational.  The one flaw was that too many people were there when we visited - we couldn't take in any of the exhibits in the way they deserved without blocking others from doing so.  (So, if you visit, try to do so on a weekday.)  After we were done there, we went to the second floor to view some other exhibits before getting on our way.

After leaving the museum, we stopped off at a dumpling shop on Columbus avenue - Dumplings.  We were underwhelmed by the place in both variety and quality of selections.  It's one of those rare places where I'd pass it by if I were again in the neighborhood - the food was way too spicy (heat), and the beverages not worth the effort to drink (save maybe, a beer).  When we made it back to RQS's neighborhood, we stopped by a local bodega to get something sweet to balance the bad taste in our mouths, and found something that was light, sweet and cold....

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Sunday was a day that neither of us wanted to do much, and we did it well.  The only thing we needed to do was take the measurement for a new bed slat I need to get for her, and that went well.  However, when we looked for her drill, we found that her late husband's tool box had an undesirable insect infestation. (You can easily guess which type of insect I'm talking about.)  We suspect that someone "Bug Bombed" their apartment, and they found a new home in her apartment.  Thank god for Raid insect spray and some bug killing gel that she will be applying during the week.  In regard to the tool box, everything is going to be cleaned out, disinfected, and sprayed.  She will need those tools in the future, and neither of us want to deal with an insect infestation again.

All too soon, it was time to go....

Metropolitan Museum of Art w. Sophie

 

This is far from the most flattering picture of Sophie (of the blog "A Woman Named Sophie").  But I feel that it shows her as the thinking person that she is.  Both of us have advanced degrees, and both of us have a curiosity about life that is best illustrated by this picture of her examining an Egyptian relic at NYC's Metropolitan Museum of Art.

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A couple of weeks ago, Sophie mentioned that she'd be coming into NYC for a couple of days, and that she'd be available to get together today.  I knew that this would be a rare treat, and that I'd be putting off long delayed tasks originally planned for today (e.g. post-cruise laundry) to see her.  As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I was totally exhausted when I came home from Hawaii, and all that I needed was rest.  But, Sophie was only available today.  So I chose to meet her at Grand Central, then take the bus to the Met.

Sophie had driven here from her home in Pennsylvania, and became painfully aware of the headaches of both driving and parking in NYC.  She needed a little time to get settled down before we got together. So we decided to meet at 2 pm at Grand Central, then proceed to the Met from there.  After taking a while to find out where to buy tickets from a human (Residents of NY, NJ, and CT can pay what they wish, all others pay full price for admission), we went to the ticket booth and ended up paying a New Yorker's rate for both tickets.  

Although my main interest was in the Egyptian artifacts, Sophie's spread through several areas - and was reasonably knowledgeable in these areas.  (Shame on me for only becoming interested in art later in life.)  

In the end, it was the Egyptian artifacts that held our interest.  After visiting the Temple of Dendur, it was time to leave, and we decemped for Greenwich Village.  We ended up eating at a BBQ joint off of 7th avenue, and both of us noted how salty the food was.  But is sure was tasty! All too soon, it was time to go.  Sophie went back to her hotel, and I went to my apartment.  Hopefully, it won't be too long before we meet again.  

When I got home, it was time to go to the supermarket to pick up some food for the week.  While shopping, a woman asked me if it was hot in the store.  I mentioned that I was feeling comfortable, and she ended up talking about her menopausal hot flashes, as if I were a 65 y/o woman who already went through the change.  Little did she know how much of a change I've gone through so far!  Although it was a short conversation, it was a confirmation of my femininity.  (Even RQS got a kick out of this when I mentioned it in our evening chat.)

Sometimes, I wonder what some people are up to.

 

Sometimes, I wonder what some people from my past are up to these days.  With some people, like FCP, I will likely never know, and it doesn't bother me much.  With others, like FH and MWL, I don't mind knowing, but I don't try to find out much.  And with others, I try to keep in some contact, and learn about their lives through the filters of friendship.

Occasionally, I think of FCP, and quickly put her out of my mind.  She left enough breadcrumbs around for me to know what she and her family was doing without me doing any research.  The last time we were in contact, she was upset at me, because I sent a "Congratulations!" card to her son and daughter in law to celebrate the birth of their son. And then, she wanted to rub in the pain of the loss of a friendship by showing me more pictures of this son as if I'm estranged family.  Without knowing even the name of this son, how could I miss someone who wasn't even a part of my family?  But I think she has deeper scars than I do, and that dwelling on this part of my past doesn't help at all.

A few weeks ago, I was finally able to get in contact with Pat (my former hypnotist).  I would have thought that she (or her daughter) would have contacted me to let me know that she was moving to a care facility.  Once I found this out, I made it a point to visit her there, and to get her out of the facility for a bite to eat now and then.  This past visit, she invited her new boyfriend out to eat with RQS and I, and "expected" that we would take them out to a restaurant of their choice instead of mine.  Although I would later find out that their place wasn't that expensive, it still would have cost me 3 times what it cost to go to the pizzeria we went to.  RQS and I agreed that Pat doesn't realize that the little impositions she makes without thought are the same things which can alienate her from friends and family.

MWL and I have maintained very loose contact since I started dating RQS.  She will occasionally initiate contact to catch up on things and to let me know about the developments in her life (such as turning her storage room into a finished living room).  Given that we went nowhere in our relationship, and that we had little chemistry between us, I will not try hard to maintain contact.

Every so often, FH pops up to say hi.  She's seeing someone now, but I'm not sure of how well it's going, considering that she is in contact with me.  The last time we communicated, she sent me a picture of a status symbol handbag that a "special person" gave her.  When I mentioned this to RQS, we chuckled.  We both knew that if I made the mistake of bonding with this woman, that the relationship would have been a slow motion train wreck.

Yes, I still communicate with XGFJ now and then.  And her life has continued with the same routine that it followed when I was in it.  This relationship would have been another train wreck had it not ended, as she is incapable of communicating her needs, nor is she able to make the compromises needed to make a relationship work.  (I refer to incidents we had where it was a non negotiable requirement that we be with her family on the holidays.  I wonder if this is still true with the fellow that she mentioned seeing a while back.)  I wish her the best.  Yet, there will always be a part of me that wishes that I didn't waste 5 years of my life dating her.

On better and worse notes, I still am in contact with Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki").  It's good that we are in contact with each other.  But she has only had sad news to report lately, as one of her family is very ill and needs constant care.  If I were to say "hopefully, it'll be over soon", that could be taken as wishing some relief for her, or hoping something sad will happen.  So I say very little, and let her do most of the talking.  Hopefully, we will be able to get together for dinner soon, and catch up on things.

I haven't had much to say about BXM these days.  She's doing well, and has settled down into domestic life with her boyfriend.  It'll be nice to see her again, but she's not the type I easily warm up to.  It takes me a while to get into sync with her when we chat, and it's because we come from different worlds.

It'd be easy to go on and on about people who pop in and out of one's life.  Once one has a steady relationship, it subtracts one or two people from the wider circle of friends I might be visiting if I didn't have a girlfriend.  Although it's a normal and good thing, I still wish there were enough hours in the day to see these people, and money in the wallet to afford to have dinners with them.

Sometimes, being transgender can be quite boring.

One thing I tell most newly "out" transgender people (or, those who are thinking of coming "out") is that living as one's true gender does not erase any problem one is having.  If one is having family problems, living authentically may only make things worse.  (In the case of one TG woman I know, living an authentic life forced her into poverty, and put walls up between her and her family.)  But what should a TG person do?  Should one live a lie, and preserve a family and a career?  Or, should one make the decision to be authentic, and risk losing many of the things we value most?

As readers of this (and my previous) blog know, I lost a love (in part) because of my transgender nature.  I also found out what a former friend really thought of me, with her words of anger.  At least, I know that my immediate family and close friends would have stood by me had the ex carried through on her threats. But should anyone have to risk things like this?

Many of us worry about our jobs, as a large number of TG people live in states where we are not protected (or actually harmed) by law.  One inactive blogger I know lives in one of these states.  Although her family knows that she travels en-femme, she would have little protection in her state if her management took a dislike to her for this reason.  Because of this, she is careful when she comes out of the closet.

But what happens when one has paid the price to live an authentic life?

To answer the above question, I feel that the answer is best answered by the phrase: "It Depends."  In my case, I still have my foot in both the masculine and feminine worlds.  It's a trade off I'm willing to make to have a romantic life with a good woman.  I live on a pension, soon to be supplemented by income from social security and a 401k.  Yet, if things were different when I was much younger, I'd have rather lived as Marian for most of my adult life.

Now that I'm able to go out and about, my life has grown rather mundane.  I don't have that much to talk about at times - just like a "normal" cisgender person.  I still remember my former cruise partner getting mad because I mentioned too much about her life in my former blog.  Sadly, parts of her life were like a soap opera, and it was hard to keep on the correct side of the blogging line.  So, I'm much more careful in writing this blog, knowing that I might bore people from time to time with the mundane details of my life.

So what will I be writing about in the future?

Although I will continue to write about my mundane life, I will also be writing about my travels.  Some of these travels will be as Marian.  And other travels will be as Mario.  Hopefully, I will be able to continue my travels to more and more places and provide my readers with interesting stories based on my adventures along the way.