My Pooka was at it again!

 

I just spent $20 to replace a souvenir button that cost me $2.50.  And that wasn't a bad deal, except that I found the button two days after its replacement.

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A couple of weeks ago, RQS and I went to the Norman Rockwell Museum to see an exhibit for the Art of Mad Magazine.  Somehow, I had misplaced the sweater that had this souvenir button on it. After searching everywhere for it, I gave up hope of finding it and ordered a replacement.  Today, I found that sweater and button.

Misplacing items like this has always been a common occurrence for me.  I have learned to have two of everything important, as I never know when one of these things will go missing.  (I'm still looking for a pendant I bought while in Hawaii - it was one of my favorites!)  I even have duplicates of all of my portable electronic stuff (wires, adapters, etc.), as I tend to misplace or lose them while in transit.  (I lost a cell phone charger on a flight back from London this year, and just replaced it.)

If you were to see a picture of my desk, you'd understand why I misplace things so often.  A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind.  Boy, this is an understatement in my case!  But it does allow for the random mutations of ideas which allow me to have insights that most people aren't lucky enough to have.  (Could you imagine how much more boring I would have been if my brain hadn't been able to make its random connections?)  

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One of these days, I'll be able to straighten out the mess on my desk, in my bedroom, and throughout the apartment.  Until then, I expect to keep misplacing many more things and replacing them prematurely.

I knew that this would be a problem

 

No, that is not my old car.  It's been generations since America knew how to build cars with real style.  But it reminds me of how much of a relic I have become in my old age.

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Like old cars, old friendships have their costs of maintenance.  In the case of DCD, I owed him for helping me move furniture, so that my (then) new carpet could be installed.  So, I figured that I could pay him back by offering him my old car at a below market price.  And this is where the problem comes up.  DCD is not paying me the money he owes me in a timely manner.

My brother and I talked about DCD a while back, and he figured that DCD would skip out on his payments.  Although I also figured this would happen, I am not bothered too much - the old car is out of my parking spaces, and is now his responsibility.  The other day, DCD told me that he failed to get "permanent" plates put on the car because he couldn't get in for an emissions test on time.  Dollars to donuts that this is a BS excuse from him.  Instead, RQS and I both think it is because he doesn't have the money to register the car in his legal state of residence - Connecticut.  

DCD had major health problems a few years back, and maintains legal residency at his (ex) girlfriend's house.  Ideally, he should find out how to switch his legal residence to New York (where he is a de facto resident), while keeping his Obamacare/Medicaid coverage.  But he doesn't do this.  As a result, he is paying an extra tax on the value of the car so that he can legally register the car in Connecticut, not jeopardizing his official Connecticut residency. 

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Do I think I will ever get all of the money DCD owes me?  No.  He is not a responsible person.  He avoids awkward situations, as I did almost 30 years ago - before I was forced to grow up.  Right now, he doesn't have a pot to piss in, and in late middle-age, that's a very bad thing.  I'm grateful I don't have his life to live.

RQS had to go home today.

 

RQS was up here for a long weekend. It's always nice to have her here.  But it's also nice to see her go home, if only because we both need to recharge our batteries for the following weekend.  We long for each other and are energized when the weekend comes, and we are re-energized when we part.  I think it's because we both have gotten used to having our own nests, and are re-energized by being able to retreat into our own spaces to do the things we would have done on our own before meeting each other.  Simply put, love in one's senior years is more complicated than when we were young.

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Yesterday, the high point of our day was a trip to Stew Leonard's to buy food for the week.  Today, it was the 1-mile walk we took by the Hudson River before it got too hot to do anything outside. It was nice being able to wear my exercise dress again.  RQS noted that she saw another woman wearing her exercise dress.  So I guess I didn't look out of place, save for my height and size.  By the time we were done with this walk (shortly before 11:00 am), all energy was drained from us.  I was glad that we set a limit of 20 minutes to be exposed to the hot and humid weather outside.  After this walk, we went to a deli that I used to frequent daily when I worked for the census bureau.  Four years later, I am still remembered there. 

We spent the rest of the afternoon resting in my apartment.  Unfortunately, I had to wake her up so that she could make her train back to the city.  So, we both got dressed in lightweight dresses, and out the door we went.  After dropping her off, I drove to Poughkeepsie and stopped off at Walmart on the way back home to pick up some makeup remover towelettes and Pointed Tip Swabs. (Think of Q-Tips with a pointed head - perfect for cleaning the area where my ear piercings were done.)  Once home, I was done for the day - and almost ready to go to sleep again.

Sometimes, I don't have that much to say of interest.

 

As I sit here, the TV is playing in the background and I am not paying any attention to it.  It is making "familiar" noises, and that relaxes me.  Along with the presence of RQS on the sofa, I am doing well.  So I was having a big problem - what do I have to say today?

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Being transgender or bi-gendered doesn't have to be the biggest factor in one's life.  Whether I go out as Mario or Marian makes little difference to who I am inside my body.  However, it does affect how I interact with people.  For example, I have met a woman in the supermarket who brought up the topic of "change of life" with me - something which would be inconceivable had I been presenting as Mario at the time.  One of my closest friends (who knew me first as Mario) brought up the topic of her bladder control pads - something that I doubt that she'd mention to her husband.  She thinks of me more as a woman than as a biological male.  And even my niece brought up the subject of her monthly cycle when we were at a museum together a few years ago.Gender Communication Taboos,

But what is it that keeps women and men from talking about such intimate things?  I had a conversation with someone a year ago, and she said that most men wouldn't bother asking.  Although that's true, there is a deeper reason for this happening.  I think that women expect that the men in their lives should be more curious, while men are too embarrassed to ask about such things due to the social taboos we have in our society.  Yes, men may know about women having periods.  But do they know what a woman goes through?  Do women even think that men would listen if they opened up conversations like these?  I feel that many people feel that it is easier to avoid opening up "embarrassing conversations" rather than to communicate.  And this leads to ignorance, misconceptions and ill feelings.

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So, did I have something of interest to say today?  I don't know.  But I just had to maintain the discipline of having something to say each day....

An unplanned dinner with RQS and Vicki

 

Food - Our lives revolve around its consumption, simply because we need to eat now and then. Today, I texted Vicki, and the end result was a nice meal for the 3 of us (and ice cream afterwards).

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RQS and I didn't want to deal with the hot weather.  But we had to go out to pick up some items for the bathroom at Walmart.  So I got dressed in the dress I bought at Universal Standard on Thursday and the two of us headed over to Mohegan Lake. where the two of us planned to get a quick snack, then shop before going to meet Vicki at Lefteris Gyro.  

Of course things didn't work out the way we expected.  We were very hungry when we reached Mickey D's, and were surprised to find the place was closed - the place had lost all power, and couldn't serve any customers.  This meant we had to get our snack elsewhere, and that meant driving over to Taco Bell.  Driving there, I realized that we wouldn't be shopping at Walmart, as we wouldn't have enough time to be sure to meet Vicki at 6:00 pm.  Instead, we drove straight to Mt. Kisco, where we spent our time shopping at Target for the things we planned to get elsewhere.  By doing this, we made it to the restaurant at 6:00 pm, and were on time for dinner.

Upon entering the restaurant, I missed Vicki, as she was in a corner on the left and I was focusing on the right.  After that minor snafu, we settled down to enjoy a good dinner. One of the things I noted was that Vicki was dressed much more casually than in the past. Post-exercise wear for some has a look like wearing PJ's.  Yet, she should be proud of all the weight she has lost to be able to look good in this clothing.  As for me, I'll stick with my dresses, as they hide parts of my body that I want to de-emphasize. Although I knew I was going to come home with leftovers, I didn't know how much I'd be bringing home!  Conversation flowed naturally, as Vicki, RQS and I were all relaxed with each of us having something to share and to take home from the conversation.  (This isn't always the case, given the occasional imbalances we have to talk about certain subjects.) 

All too soon, it was time to brave the weather and make it down to Ben & Jerry's for dessert - Ice Cream.  Although there are a few B&J's ice cream shops scattered over the country, this is the only one I know that's close to the New York City area.  Even more surprising, this would be the first time I've stopped here in over 40 years of living here.  So I knew that I was in for a treat.  One glitch - when moving a table out to seat the three of us, my sundae fell on the floor and had to be replaced.

As we left the ice cream shop, the heavens started to open up,  Even though we were avoiding the heat and rain during the day, we were able to make a good day out of something that could have been crappy.  In the end, this was the big advantage of being outside of NYC this weekend.  

 

Another long, hot weekend was started early.

 

RQS and I discussed coming up early this weekend.  Although the "Lobster Truck" would be elsewhere, I was able to entice her to come up a day early with oysters - 12 Oysters for $12 at Whole Foods on Fridays between 2 and 5 pm.  So we made plans for her to meet me at Grand Central Terminal after I went to Universal Standard's Sample Sale.

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I got dressed in a comfortable dress on Thursday,  then left my house around noon, proceeding to Manhattan on the 12:42 pm train.  When the train got into Grand Central around 1:45 pm, we got delayed because the train couldn't make it al the way into the station, and had to discharge passengers through the first two cars of the train.  I was totally exhausted by the time I made it to Universal Standard.  (The heat both under and above ground was gruesome, and I was a little dehydrated by this point.)  So, after stopping for some air conditioned comfort, I went upstairs to do some shopping.

Once I was upstairs, I was greeted by a staffer who has seen me at several of the sample sales.  Then, I proceeded to browse the racks to find things I might be interested in.  As much as most of the stuff wasn't worth my interest, I found two items of worth: A blue sleeveless dress (that I wasn't sure that I should buy) and a pair of leggings that I could always wear when the weather gets cooler.  $75 later, I was out of there with garments that would normally sell for over $175 ($40 for the dress and $35 for the leggings)

Leaving the store, I decided to take the East Side local to Brooklyn Bridge, then back uptown to Grand Central.  This way, I could be assured to have a seat in an air conditioned car on its way uptown.  (The last thing I want to do is stand on a subway car being delayed due to problems ahead of us.)  While on my way, I found that RQS was 45 minutes behind me, so I knew I'd have to wait for her at Grand Central.

Around 3:30 pm, I arrived at Grand Central and waited for RQS to arrive, then we took the train back to Croton.  Since there was nothing ready for us to cook, we picked up some food at Trader Joe's and had dinner a little later.

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Friday came, and the focus of the day was to have oysters at Whole Foods.  So, I donned the blue dress I bought the day before, and we drove to Chappaqua.  RQS thought we were going to White Plains, and I wanted to see what it was like on the former Reader's Digest campus.  We got there at 2:30 pm, and the supply of oysters was already starting to run out.  $24 later, we were eating oysters normally selling for twice the price - and they were yummy!  If scheduling works out, we may make this a semi-regular part of our routine.

Once done with our meal, it was off to the jewelers to have a few links taken out of her watch band.  And then, we drove to Cold Spring for Ice Cream before returning home for the night.

Guess where I'll be going soon....? (And, NO, it's not another cruise.)

 

By the time you read this, the Universal Standard sample sale will be over.  To its loyal customers, Universal Standard made many of its current sample pieces available online, so that they could clear out some inventory.  This T-Girl loves the quality of the store's products, and can only wish I had a nicer body on which to wear their garments.

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My late wife would be laughing at me, as I have become quite a clothes horse.  It's nice to receive a new article of clothing in the mail (or from Amazon, UPS, or FedEx) and have a chance to wear it.  Unlike my late wife, I tend to wear the stuff I buy - especially now that I'm buying clothes of a higher quality (preferably at a deep discount).  When I pass, I don't expect that there will be any garments in my closet that still have price tags, as most will have been worn several times.

As I've mentioned in prior entries, I have bought some exercise wear, so that I can go out walking and not get my good clothes ruined by sweat. I have also bought some nice casual clothes to wear on warm days - and will be wearing them soon.  But the question remains: what should this T-Girl wear in colder weather?  Fewer women are wearing dresses in cool weather than they did when I was a kid, and I don't want to stand out - I want to blend in with the other women around me.

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On other matters, RQS and I were discussing the personalities of our Texas friends.  One of these friends is very observant, saying relatively little, but shows quite a bit of confidence.  The other shows her rough edges, and I'd love to help her smooth them out.  But unless asked, I'll keep my mouth shut and give advice only when asked for.

One of these days, I'd like to be presentable enough to spend the day in their area as Marian, and then revert to my male presentation for maximum safety.  This might mean bringing a little bit of both male and female wardrobes with me if I were to visit, and then switch between modes only for that part of the trip.  First, I want to see a Democrat elected as Governor again in that state....

This brings me to politics.  We're seeing a snow motion coup being staged by the GOP, with Trump as their charismatic leader.  What frightens me is that the people who'll being him to power will not be able to control the beast they have unchained.  We've seen this scenario 90 years ago in Central Europe, and I'm afraid it might happen here.  If the worst happens, Canada will only be a way stop for me, as I want to get completely out of Dodge before High Noon.  I wonder how many people will be able to make the last train out....