Wednesday, November 26, 2025

The longer I'm out and about, the less I write about being TG

 


When I started blogging, I used to talk about how I worried about whether people would clock me as being TG.  I discussed things such as voice training, meeting people as Marian, and other things that would set me apart from cisgender women.  Over the years, I have gained much more confidence in who I am and where I can safely go.  But people like me are under attack from the Orange Snowflake.  Most of us don't flaunt what we are.  We simply want to go about our lives without being treated less than human from certain social groups such as religious fundamentalists. 

This entry is not about being TG as much as it is about life in general.  For the most part, the vast majority of people lead humdrum lives.  Even if one has become famous, such as being a movie star, a sports player, and a politician, most of our lives consist of relatively boring activities such as shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning our houses, etc.. So, what should anyone write about?  I'm not one who makes a big deal about what I'm wearing these days, save that I want to hide my less than feminine features.  Going into the ladies' room is no longer a big deal when I'm presenting as Marian - I just go into the stall, get my clothes out of the way, sit down and relieve myself.  Most people don't bat a eyelash, especially since most fat people tend to be "invisible" to others.

For a little over a week, I've been wearing red nail polish.  As a consequence, I've been presenting as a female. The only reason I removed my nail polish today was that it was starting to chip away.  I figure that I'll go get my nails done when RQS goes home, as I don't want to spend the time to redo my nails while she's here.  

- - - - - -

Today has become a sort of "maintenance day".  RQS decided to reorganize my kitchen cabinets, while I decided to pay some bills and to prepare to do laundry.  Since the light over the kitchen counter got damaged, we will end up going to Lowe's to pick up a replacement later on.  While we were sitting down, we booked a couple of shore excursions for our upcoming cruise.  Now, we have 3 out of 5 shore days where we have things to see when in port.

Cruising has become our preferred mode of taking a vacation, as it gives us the most bang per buck. We keep looking at cruises we can take.  I'm hoping that the snowflake is removed from office so that sanity can rule in the US again.  Then, and only then, will I consider the cruise I want to take - a transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2, where I can return to the States as Marian.

Until then, I'll just have to keep living my humdrum life....


Tuesday, November 25, 2025

You no foola me. There ain't no Santy Claws.

 


I love the Marx Brothers.  Almost 100 years ago, the Marxes exposed America for what it is in their first 5 films for Paramount.  In The Cocoanuts, they used the Florida land boom as a backdrop on which they hung their jokes; in Animal Crackers, they skewer that pomposity of high society; in Monkey Business, they have fun with the nature of the Transatlantic Crossing, being stowaways, and America's love for celebrity; in Horse Feathers, they have a field day with colleges, football, gambling, and speakeasies; and finally, with Duck Soup, they expose high level diplomacy and war for what it is - human foolishness. 

So, why did I start off with the Marxes today?  Well, RQS and I are gluttons for punishment.  I finally had a good excuse to buy a cruise for RQS as an Xmas gift, and we'll be going on the cruise sometime in the new year.  What does that say about us?  There is a feeling of absurdity I have about what we're doing, as I wonder whether RQS can keep up my pace.  Are we living like we're dancing in the ballroom while the Titanic heads into an iceberg?

With this new cruise, it will be the 3rd time that I've traveled this planned route (New York - Cape Canaveral - Nassau, Bahamas - Cruise Line Private Island, Bahamas - New York), albeit with different cruise line private islands. As of yet, I have little interest in leaving the ship in the Bahamas.  I might want to visit the Space Center when in Cape Canaveral. But, I've been there before and only want to see the area from which rockets take off into space, and not want to see the amusement park like areas of the center.  Luckily, RQS and I will be happy if we never get off the ship.

I am not a fan of cruise line private islands.  NCL has its Great Stirrup Cay (GSC).  MSC has its Ocean Cay Marine Preserve, Royal Caribbean has its Perfect Day at CocoCay.  It seems like every cruise line is getting into the private island business - and for good reason.  All money spent on these islands is captured by the cruise line with little going back into the local community.  Since I am not a beach bum (I spent too much time in the sun while I was young), I have little reason to get off the ship at these islands.  And now that NCL has decided to exclude GSC from a ship's drink packages, I feel that NCL has again reduced the value provided for money spent for a cruise, making its private Island even less attractive for me.

So, why did I choose a winter cruise with a less than optimal itinerary?  Well, I wanted to get away again, as well as finally give my gift to RQS.  In short, I wanted to show her in a concrete way that I care for her. This cruise does just that.  Hopefully, RQS will have a good time on this cruise.



    

Monday, November 24, 2025

Autumn is here! (A short post)

 


The other night, as I was coming home on the second to last train of the night, I noticed one of the signs of autumn - frost on the windshield of my car.  Although I will still have need of my summer clothes on my upcoming cruise, most of them can now be safely put into storage containers for a few months.

Soon, New York City's fanciest stores will have their holiday displays in their storefront windows, and Macy's Thanksgiving Parade will march through Midtown Manhattan.  It will be one of the best times to visit this city - if one's flights aren't cancelled and if one can afford the nightly rates at a Midtown Hotel. As for me, someone who lives near the city, I will avoid the tourist districts like the plague, as it's the time for pickpockets to collect easy money.  For others, it will be the Christmas Shoplifting Season.  Yes, I am a New York City cynic.  But it is the right of every New Yorker to trash their home city - if only to discourage visitors from coming and allow leaving the room for locals to enjoy their city as well.

Ask any New Yorker, and you find that most have a love/hate relationship with their city.  For me, it's a place that my rights as a TG person are respected, not denied.  It is a city where most people feel free to live the lives that they choose, and not have their lives imposed on them by a dysfunctional culture.  It's a city that seems to be the center of everything - if you can't find something here, it probably doesn't exist. 

Yes, New York has it's problems.  We have the crime rate expected in a typical American city.  Yet, young people have always flocked to it because it is the home of great opportunities.  From its beginning, New York's focus has always been a place where "money talks, and shit walks."  When Christian settlers complained about Jews in their then remote outpost of the Dutch, the Dutch West India Company didn't care - they wanted the then Niew Amsterdam to have its focus on making money  Both tolerance for "the other" and a focus on making money is the foundation of New York's culture and will always be the case.

So, why is Autumn so important in New York?

The answer is simple: New York is a place of constant change.  New Yorkers are reminded of this change when the leaves fall, when the storefronts change, and when the tourists come back to enjoy the city.  From Thanksgiving to New Year, we will be flooded by tourists. And I'm glad this is as much a constant as the swallows coming back to Capistrano each year.  



Sunday, November 23, 2025

Not Ready for Prime Time (Again)

 


This afternoon, I treated RQS to an afternoon performance of "Not Ready For Prime Time."  It was the second time I would be seeing this play, and it would be worth the effort I made to see it again.

But first...

Late last night, I saw that they opened up the rush tickets for this play a little early.  So I booked front row tickets for RQS and myself at rush ticket prices around midnight, and left a message for RQS that I had tickets in hand.

The next morning (today), I took my time in starting to move and missed both trains into the city that I wanted to catch.  Luckily, there was one more train that I could catch to get me to the theater on time. However, I ended up parking at the far end of the parking lot, as none of the "midday spots" (as I call spots that open up when people return from the city after the morning's commuter rush) had yet opened up near the parking pay station.  From the get-go, I knew that I'd get in my 2+ miles of walking today.

The train got into Grand Central at 1:45.  After taking the shuttle to Times Square, and then the local to 50th Street, I still had over 1/2 mile to walk before I got to the theater. I was lucky to get there by 2:15, and I found RQS waiting for me having arrived 10 minutes earlier.  (She took an Uber to get across town, avoiding a lot of the walking I had decided to do.)  Once seated, we both enjoyed the play.  At the end of the play, one of the actors prompted RQS to get out of her seat and dance - too bad I couldn't get a picture of that for her.  She felt that it was well worth the effort to get to see this play, and I felt it was well worth seeing it a second time.

When the play let out, we took a taxi back to Grand Central and caught the next train back to Croton. Exactly 7 hours after I parked the car, I was turning on the ignition so we could go home.  It was a good, but mildly expensive day out.

Saturday, November 22, 2025

Happy Birthday! (A short post)

 

It seems as if a lot of people "Got it on" in February, given how many birthdays there are this month.  First, we celebrated the birthday of a Meetup sponsor, followed by TCL's birthday a week later, and FCP's birthday a week after that.  In a way, it's a good thing we get the chance to take another trip around the sun. But I'll bet there are some people who'd still say: "Been there, done that."

So, I won't dwell on birthdays.  Instead of that, I'll describe the meetup I went to tonight.... 

The focus of tonight's meetup dinner was to celebrate the birthday of the meetup group's organizer, albeit a little late.  Unusual for me, I started getting ready to go out around 5 pm, and had myself made up and in a dress before 6 pm, and made it to the restaurant by 7, parking right in front of the restaurant.  I was the first person there, and the rest of our group of 20 trickled in over the next 30 minutes.

Service was very slow, and it was getting close to 8:30 by the time our orders were taken.  (Most of us ordered from the Restaurant Week menu.)   While waiting, I chatted with the woman across from me, a friendly person I've had the pleasure to be with at other meetups.  She mentioned my blog, and asked for advice about going to Hawaii for a cruise.  I gave her some information, and sent her links to 2 Hawaii Cruise articles I posted in my other blog.  By the time our dinner came, and then dessert, it was pushing 10 pm.  By now, I was getting disturbed at the wait staff, as they handed out bills to half of us, and left my group waiting.  After 10 minutes, I went up to the station and complained a little - and then our bills were finally presented to us.  

I'm not going to say that the wait staff ruined dinner.  Far from it!  But they did detract from the experience, as some of us (like me) had to leave a little earlier than others.  But I was able to get out of there by 10:20, and was able to chat with RQS for the entire ride home.  By 11 pm, I was glad to be home, as I couldn't wait to strip off my dress, remove my bra, and get into something something comfortable - just like most cisgender women my age would do. 

 

Friday, November 21, 2025

Socialism, Si! Fascism, No!

 


The above is an image of New York City's next mayor.  An avowed Democratic Socialist, Zohran Mamdani has defeated a GOP candidate without elected experience and two disgraced Democrats in an election closely monitored by the White House.  In California, Virginia, New Jersey, and New York City, the Orange Snowflake was very disappointed by the seemingly leftward shift in public opinion.  Collectively, the public is waking up and telling the snowflake to go F--k himself and the horse he came in on.

Years ago, a great American offered these quotes, illustrating his political philosophy:

1. On liberty and extremism: "I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!"

2. On government and freedom: "I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them."

3. On government power: "The government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it away."

4. On choice: "I will offer a choice, not an echo."

5. On political strategy: "The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place."

6. On the role of religion: "Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no place in public policy."

7. On monopolies: "Let us henceforth make war on all monopolies—whether corporate or union. The enemy of freedom is unrestrained power..." 

Although Barry Goldwater was considered a right wing radical in his time, he would be considered a moderate by today's standards. I feel this man had a more nuanced and balanced view of things than for which people would give him credit.  He understood the balance and tension between individual and societal rights. He understood that the power of government, business, and labor must be balanced. And he understood that no religious faction should be allowed enough power to dictate its will on the majority of American citizens.

I'd bet that Goldwater would have a smile on his face, seeing American democracy work to check and balance the power of the lunatics now in charge of the GOP.  Yet, he'd also worry about socialist political promises that get fulfilled, as well as those that can't be fulfilled.  Historians may see Goldwater as the man who triggered the GOP's shift to the far right.  I see him more in line with people like Rand Paul, someone who believes in limiting over consolidation power in some areas that affect the public.  

Do I agree with the late Barry Goldwater and his ideas?  That's not the best way to put the question.  Instead, I'd ask: Did Barry Goldwater see problems with America which could not be solved, even with an imperial presidency?  I'd say yes to that question, and that he recognized the dangers in over consolidating power in any one area.  We could do much worse than looking back a generation or two and see what they thought about problems similar to those we have now, and learn from their mistakes and their trade-offs.  

As they say: "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it." 

Lasagna - a dish Garfield and I both love.

  Today, it was lunch with CCS in Ossining.  Given that I hadn't seen her in a month, I was hoping for a quiet time at a "Red Sauce...