Seeing LK for lunch and encountering bad traffic

 

Getting together with LK is not the easiest thing to schedule.  With young children, her responsibilities as a mother come before everything else in life.  That means that if anything goes wrong with her or her children, we must reschedule things.  Our most recent meal was one of those rescheduled events.

LK was feeling under the weather on Wednesday, and said that she'd like to try for a Friday lunch if she was feeling better.  Around 7:00 am, she texted me to suggest lunch at a restaurant in New City, NY for 11:30 am/  Since it was already 10:00 am. I suggested a 12:30 pm time and that was OK with her.  So I rushed to shower, dress, and do my make up to meet her on the other side of the river.  Since this was the first time I'd get to meet her 2 children, I knew it would be a special meeting, albeit disrupted by the needs of her children.

I ran a little late, while LK was 15 minutes late.  So I knew that I'd have less time than usual to chat, as I had to pick up RQS at Croton-Harmon at 3:30 pm.  We chatted less than usual, as her son was grabbing all of her attention.  But that was OK.  I'm comfortable with having friends in all stages of life. LK was born to be a mom, and I was glad to see her in her in all of her maternal glory.  (I won't use that phrase around her, as she was feeling challenged by motherhood that day.)  Around  2:30 pm, I was on my way back to Croton, and mistakenly decided to cross the river at Bear Mountain.  This was a big mistake, as the road to Peekskill was backed up halfway to the bridge.  Eventually, I made it through the gauntlet, and made it to Croton-Harmon station in time to pick up RQS.

Zooming with friends - a short post

 

I don't have too much to say today....

This morning I got up for a morning appointment, then went home for a nap.  By the time I was conscious again, it was 3 pm and I had to get ready for a zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.

Now, I really wasn't in the mood to talk much today, as my mind is preoccupied by my upcoming cruise.  So, I stalled in getting ready, but got dressed as Marian a little before 6 pm, and went down to the local pizzeria to get something good to eat.  On the way down, I refreshed my money supply, so that I'd have extra spending money for the week.  While driving, I called LK to confirm tomorrow's lunch - and this ended up being a no-go.  She is (as expected) occupied by her children, and unable to handle visitors.  I was a little disappointed, but not enough to be depressed.  LK tends to let life get in the way of her plans, and I guess she will always be doing this.  (At least, she has a life....)

Once done with dinner, I went back to the house to start the zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  Both my friends came on, as well as RQS - our usual foursome.  It was nice to chat with everyone again.  But I know I was flagging, as I'm still dealing with my lack of sleep last night.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get up early tomorrow, so that I can get a lot of tasks done to prepare for the cruise.

Dinner with a friend

 

It's been a while since I've seen LK.  She's wonderfully pregnant, and her life has been taken up by the life inside her and the toddler who came out of her about a year and a half ago.  So, it was a miracle that the two of us were able to connect for dinner tonight.

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I'll always have LK to thank for helping me develop a decent feminine voice.  It's not the voice I want, but it's much better than the voice I had when I started transgender vocal therapy at Mercy College (now University)  And it's always a pleasure for me when we get together, as she was the only one of the student clinicians who showed true professionalism in her student work.  (I can only imagine how good she is when working with her clients today.  If I had a child with speech and hearing issues, she'd be one of the first people I'd want working with my child.)

Both of us arrived at the local (to her) diner around 5 pm, and we chatted as if it were old times.  I talked about my past and upcoming cruises, while she talked about the issues in her life.  Both of us needed to chat and this dinner gave us the perfect opportunity to do so.  All too soon we had to leave.  LK had to get up very early for work, and I had to go home.  So at 7:45, we went our separate ways, but pledged to meet each other 4-5 weeks from now. 

Dinner with my former student voice clinician

 

Today's entry is going to be a quick one, as I have to leave for RQS's place in a little while.  But it involves dinner with someone who helped me become the woman I am (for better and worse).

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Several years ago, I started transgender voice training at Mercy College's (now, University's) speech and hearing clinic, where future clinicians are trained.  Compared to the rates charged by one NYC practitioner who has an office on Broadway, I was getting a bargain.  But the help I could get there was limited, as the students rotated in and out of in-school clinical practice every semester.  As a result, the quality of service varied quite a bit, and that there would be a limit to the amount of help I could receive at Mercy.

LK and I have developed a friendship over the years. She is the only student clinician that I encountered who was "fully adult" (she was approaching 40) when I met her.  Last year, she had a baby, and his health complications got in the way of us meeting for a while.  So, getting together with her was a special event.  I was surprised to find that she is pregnant again, and experiencing all of the classic symptoms of pregnancy that she was lucky to have missed the first time around. I won't go into the details of what we chatted about, save that we caught up on each other's lives and hope to get together much more often, now that they have a handle on her son's issues.

All too soon, it was time to leave, and we had to go.  LK went home, while I went to Walmart to pick up a couple of last minute items that I needed for my trip.

Dihydrogen Monoxide and other subjects

 

 
Recently, I had a chat with LK, and we discussed how ignorant many people are about objective facts that are important right now.  Many people take a quick Wikipedia/Google search on a subject and take it as gospel.  They do not even know how to search for peer reviewed scientific search easily ready by the general public to understand the science behind what is going on.  For example, she noted that her mom didn't know about Google Scholar, and didn't have a clue about how to find useful data in this area.

But we shouldn't limit ourselves to serious sites.  Many people can't figure out that the Onion is a satirical site, and not real news.   Even worse, they are often clueless when it comes to the problems with Dihydrogen Monoxide.  Many people are no longer capable of critical thinking, and it's frightening.  They now depend on 3 second sound bites from their political pundit of choice, and that's not good for a democratic republic.

We're seeing book bans in schools for materials which are total BS, save that they make you think. What is it about critical thought that some politicians fear?  Maybe that people would see that these leaders are selling us snake oil?

Seeing an "old" friend.

 

It's been a while since I've seen my former student clinician from Mercy College that I used to develop my feminine voice. So It was a great pleasure to see her again and catch up on things.

But first....

I was a little depressed, as I noticed that my former cruise partner had deleted the "Congratulations" message I sent, finding out that she has a new grandchild.  So sad.  I doubt she'll ever let go of her anger towards anyone who may have hurt her (like me), and as a result, will never heal from her wounds.  I mentioned this to LK when we met, and she was a great "pick me up" when I needed it most.  And then we talked about her good news - her bun in the oven is healthy, and she can't wait to be a mom.  We talked about so many things in the short time we were together, and I'm hoping that we can get together early next month.

LK is a great person, and is now a great professional.  Yet, her pregnancy is getting in the way of her assignments (occupational prejudice), and there's not much she can do save to deal with it assertively.  She intends to continue working after baby leave, and I feel she will "easily" be able to handle the demands of both family and career. Hopefully, her partner will also step up to the challenge of raising a child.

I won't go into much more right now.  Maybe later on, if LK is OK with it.  (I learned at least that much from dealing with FCP.) 

It's hard to keep in touch with people when you're tired all the time

 

It's hard for me to keep in touch with people when I'm tired all the time.  No, others do it with a schedule like mine.  I'm just a bad time manager these days.  I can't imagine how I did it when I worked in the city and had two or three less hours in my life each day to work with.  But I did.

Part of me is trying to juggle too many things at one time.  I want to see as many of my friends as possible, and schedules often don't work the way they need to work to make this a reality.  For example, one friend, MW and I were supposed to get together this weekend.  She forgot that it was going to be Easter, and that she'd be having her dad, her boyfriend and his daughter over that day.  Additionally, she had to help out her ex, who had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery.  Another example is KOL.  LK and I make time for her, but she has a nasty habit of letting things in her life get in the way.  (I won't go into KOL's family issues here, but they are likely to be complex at the present from what we know.) And then, there are all the other people circling around my life who never can seem to stop for a while.

Of course, not getting enough sleep doesn't help.  I used to take the ex girlfriend's issues with sleep a little bit lightly.  She'd go to sleep with her cellphone in hand, and then wake up a couple of hours later, unable to go to sleep for another 4 hours or so. She was always overtired, and now I've fallen into a similar pattern.  AARGH!

At least, I found the time to polish my nails last night.... 

I saw a friend today, oh boy...

 

When I coined this entry's title, I was thinking of writing a little poem along the lines of "A Day in the Life".  But I realized that nothing I could write could match Weird Al's wordsmithing. Since I liked the title, I figured that I'd stay with it.

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After work, I had only one thing on my docket - dinner with LK.  So, I rushed over to Rockland County after work and arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes early.  To kill time, I stopped into a drug store and picked up some face powder and a nail clipper.  And then I took a seat in the restaurant.

Shortly after I sat down, LK arrived.  And then we talked as if the year that had just past was like only a single night.  I was glad to find out that she has a new boyfriend.  She deserves someone good in her life.  And we started to tell each other the latest news in our lives. Both of us felt there was one thing missing - KOL, her former clinical supervisor.  So, before we left, LK invited KOL to dinner in 2 weeks.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this happens....

Once we were done with dinner, I bid LK a fond adieu and drove to the nearby Walmart.  I needed some new underwear, and they have the one brand I have found to keep a certain part of me properly tucked away.  (The last thing I need is to stand at attention when I'm not supposed to be able to stand at all.) Then it was time to go home and rest for the evening....

A weekend with GFJ away for a wedding

Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Normally, I'd be figuring out what to do when GFJ arrives.  But she's away in North Carolina for a wedding, and I have the weekend free to be in Marian Mode.  YAY!  Now to figure out what to do.

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Looking at the picture above, I don't like what I see.  There is way too much meat on the bones, and I stand out by being a large person.  To be honest, I need to watch my weight, and that's going to become a priority for me.

Even though I was awakened around 9 am today, I didn't even bother getting out of the bed until the afternoon.  I was finally able to confirm that my weekend plans with LK and the former clinical supervisor were off - LK had to work the night before, and would be too exhausted to meet for brunch on Sunday.  This made me glad that I booked a meetup for Sunday.

Late in the evening, I got a call from GFJ.  Seems like she received an email from an ex-friend that should have been sent directly to me.  (I won't go into details here.)  I'll have to respond to it shortly, as it deals with a friendship that is over.  But it also means that I'll be switching over to a new blog with a new name.  (I will supply that name soon, when I make my last post here.)

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Saturday came and I had two things on my docket - Visiting my dad on Long Island, then going to my High School's 45th reunion.  Given the mood I was in from last night, I wasn't certain that I wanted to go anywhere.

The first thing I did was to start cleaning up the mess in my room from before I went on my ill fated cruise..  Clutter was to be found all over the bedroom, and it must be organized before the cleaning lady comes next week. One of the byproducts of this cleanup is that I was able to find some dress shoes I haven't worn in a few years - perfect for use in presenting as Mario tonight.

Around 3:30, I started getting ready to drive to Long Island for my high school's 45th anniversary reunion.  And I left the house at 4:30, hoping I'd be able to make it to Roslyn by 5:40, so I could see my dad in the nursing home.  This was not meant to be.  Instead, I hit big time bridge traffic, and ended up killing an hour on Long Island before going to the reunion.

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I arrived at the reunion at 7:00, and accompanied several women on the way into the place. When we were young, the place was known as "Henry's" - a step up from being a dive bar, where the beer was cheap, the pool table  $0.25/game, and the grill sometimes open for a burger.  Now that it's known as the "Old Trading Post", it has gone upscale, and the food is of a much better quality.  We were one of two groups being hosted, and the only one under a tent to the side of the restaurant.  Even outdoors, it was hard to have a conversation, and that was just as well.  It was better to be forced to have lighthearted conversations than anything serious. 

Like my 40th HS reunion, I didn't remember anyone, save the class advisor.  But others remembered me for my intelligence.  At least two or three people commented on how they remembered me in class, and it made me feel good that others saw that quality in me.  Along with my voice, that was the quality that the class advisor remembered most about me.  But I got a kick out of meeting my "Name Doppelganger" (both of us share the same name, both of us use the same "familiar" form of our first names in addition to sharing the same last name) - she surprised me by sneaking up behind me to say hello.  While there, I got into several good conversations, including one with a former classmate who may try to connect me with one of his friends who might be able to connect me to a job.

All too soon, the night had to end before the place became quiet.  When I got in my car, I messaged GFJ, and she was bushed from her party.  So we agreed to chat sometime on Sunday.

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My alarms were set to wake me up around 8:00 on Sunday, so that I had the option of going to church before going to the Chuang Yen Monastery.  However, the night before, I didn't go to sleep early enough, so I decided to rest as long as possible before getting ready to go to the monastery - and I rested a little too long.  Once I got moving, I was rushing at a breakneck speed to get ready, and almost abandoned my plans to drive North so I could go back to sleep.

As you might guess, I went to the monastery, and arrived about 500 feet behind the meetup group.  So I was running a little to catch up - and did so, as they reached the lunch hall.  Once caught up, I paid for my lunch (a purely vegan meal), and sat down with our crew.

After 45 minutes, it was time to go on our tour.  Some of us (including myself) made the mistake of first going to the meditation room instead of the main temple.  But a few minutes later, we realized our mistake and joined the rest of the group at the temple.  And the tour guide (the same lady who guided us last time) gave a different presentation on how Buddhism "works".  She was very interesting, and I wish I had been in a better position to see her when speaking due to the sun being behind her.

When the tour ended, I decided to drive to Carmel and see what was playing at the local theater.  Luckily, "Joker" was starting just as I arrived in town, so I didn't have to wait for the movie to start when I arrived.  However, I did have to wait on line, as the ticket counter was also the concession stand, and the folk at the registers were doing double duty - selling both tickets and popcorn at the same time.  (This slowed down things for people like me who just wanted to see the movie.)  But I was able to get into the movie just before the film started.

For those who haven't read any reviews about the movie, "Joker" is a retelling of the origin of the Joker character in Batman films.  It isn't a pure retelling, as they change the origin story to reflect a mentally deranged person going off the deep end and turning into Batman's worst enemy. This is a better origin story than the original one, and I hope they reboot the Batman series with the look and feel of this movie.

Eventually, I had to return home.  Once back at my desk, I did a minor edit to a last email being sent to FCP, then sent it out.  I don't think there is any hope for a rapprochement between the two of us.  But if there is, she'll have to make the next move.