I didn't know what to say today.

 

After a week away from home, I am all tuckered out.  I need a vacation from my vacation!

- - - - - - 

No, it's not as bad as my words may make it seem.  Instead, after this vacation, I wouldn't mind some time as Marian that I won't have.  There was little enough opportunity to go out as Marian before my trip, and little enough opportunity to go out as Marian until the next weekend ends.

I'm very glad that RQS is in my life.  Yet, sometimes I wish I had an extra day in the week for myself.  I'll bet that this is a common feeling among many happily married people.  They enjoy being with their spouses.  Yet, they also enjoy being with non-romantic others.  

- - - - - -

On the way home last night, I saw a young couple on the subway.  One was dressed sharply in a men's suit, but not in a way in which he could go to work.  The other was dressed in a blue velvet maxi dress with spaghetti straps - a model of femininity.  Both were seated in a position that would indicate that they shared intimacies with each other.   However, something was a little bit off.  So I got a little closer, as I prepared to leave the train.  The person in the blue dress didn't have much of a chest.  I saw a pronounced brow ridge, more commonly found on a male.  And then I heard this person speak in a lower pitched voice.  Was this person a female or a male?  I'll never know for sure.  But I wish I could have gone out like this when I was that age.....

When we left the train to make our connections, I commented on how nice that person looked in the dress and quickly left.  No need to say much more, as it could be taken the wrong way coming from a person my age and presenting gender....

DC Trip 2023 - Day 06

 

King Street - Alexandria, VA

This would be our last day in the DC area.  So we took advantage of the opportunity to leave our bags at the hotel and explore the waterfront area of Alexandria.  This time, we didn't head to the Metro station after breakfast.  Instead, we took the Free "trolley" to the waterfront and walked around a bit.

 
Our first and only waterfront stop would be at the former Torpedo Factory, now a working arts center.  We explored all 3 floors and found some interesting art there.  Too bad that we couldn't be there when more of the artists had their workshops open.  Then, we explored the waterfront area a little before taking the trolley back to the hotel and picking up our bags.

 
We left the hotel for the last time around 2 pm, and walked to the Metro for the last time.  We made it to Union station by 3:15, and just had enough time to pick up a late lunch to eat on the train home.  Almost as soon as we sat down to await the call to board our train, the boarding call was made - and we proceeded to the train to take our seats.

After an uneventful 3 1/2 hour ride, we were back in New York.  This time, we knew where to go to summon our Uber - the 33rd street entrance, between 8th & 9th avenues.  (We made a note to use 330 W. 33rd Street as a destination address the next time we want to go to Penn Station's Moynihan Train Hall by Uber/Lyft.)  From there, we summoned our ride, and had the most pleasant ride back to Queens we could have had given the roads.  And all too soon, our vacation was over....

DC Trip 2023 - Day 05

 

A Chief's headdress from the National Museum of the Native American

Our last museum for this visit to DC was the National Museum of the American Indian on the National Mall.  This time, we knew for sure which Metro station to use, and how to reach the museum.  And for once, we were right!  It was a relatively short walk to the museum.  

But first....

I was finally contacted by a former blogger who wanted to get together.  He's a member of our TG community, and was in my computer classes at Queens College.  So we arranged to get together at a diner which was walking distance of our hotel.  We walked over to the diner, and propped up a book so that s/he could recognize us.  (This would be the first time s/he would see me in male mode.)

When I dress as Marian, I dress as a cisgender woman my age would dress, as I want to blend in.  The same goes for when I'm dressed as Mario - I want to be seen as a cisgender straight male.  So RQS and I were a little surprised to see how my friend blends both modes into her/his presentation.  As much as I would never do this, I was glad that my friend can feel safe in doing this.  

 
All too soon, lunch had to end, and we were off to the National Museum of the American Indian.  Our first stop when inside was a gallery which covered the experience of the Native Americans from both Native and Settler viewpoints.  Like some exhibits in the African American museum, this can be a sobering experience.  Be prepared to be made to think when visiting here.  

After a couple of hours here, we decided to stay in town and go to dinner.  I suggested that we go to the Dupont Circle area and find a restaurant there.  We ended up going to Agora for some Mediterranean food (mostly Turkish food) and had a nice dinner.  Although the flavors were not exactly to our taste (we prefer food prepared with spicing styles used in Greek food), we both considered this place well worth visiting, but will order different dishes when we visit again.

Then, it was time to go back to the hotel.  And again, it was a chance to get dessert at Bob & Edith's.  Yum!  We'll miss this place when we get back home.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 04

 

The Lunar Space Rover - All Electric Transportation, before it was "in" to drive such a vehicle.

 
Our 3rd full day in town had us going to the Air and Space Museum on the National Mall.  However, the weather made me wish we could have stayed in our comfortable, warm, and convenient hotel room.  But this wish was not to be granted....

As usual, we got up and had breakfast in the hotel.  Unlike any of the other days, this would be the busiest we'd see it in our 5 days there - we had a tiny difficulty finding a vacant table for our use.  When done, RQS and I put on our coats, grabbed our umbrellas, and we were off to DC.  This time, we knew which Metro station we had to go to, as well as which exit to use to bring us to the museum.  Or, did we know?  Although we got off at the "Smithsonian" Metro station, we had to walk a distance in the rain to reach the Air and Space Museum.

When we reached the museum, we were very tired.  Yet, we still had to spend more time on a slow moving line, waiting to be admitted.  (Luckily, we had already printed our tickets while in New York, so we knew we'd eventually get in.)  After 20 minutes, we were inside the place and started our exploration.

 
The first stop was the Wright Brothers' gallery.  This area is a fitting tribute to the two brothers who made travel in heavier than air machines possible.  It covers the prior knowledge that the brothers used in their experiments, as well as the methods they used to learn what was needed to develop their first functional airplane.  (They would have made great project managers and programmers, as they understood the process of breaking down problems into small pieces and eliminating flaws in what they developed along the way.)

 
Our next stop was the Destination Moon gallery.  This area gives the visitor an idea of what the process of landing a man on the moon entailed, as well as some of the choices that had to be made to do this.  Exhibits covering the Gemini and Apollo programs were easy to find, and are well worth seeing.  I still find it amazing that we did this about 50 years ago, and (as a nation) lost interest in manned lunar exploration after we achieved the goal set by JFK during his (too short) presidency.

Although we went to one more gallery, the next important part of our visit was the gift shop.  RQS had forgotten her sweatshirt at the hotel and was freezing.  So I looked at books while she found the garment she needed to stay warm outside.  I wished I could buy several books there, but I knew that once these books were read, that they would gather dust.  Taking down a couple of titles, I filed them away for later use when I look them up in the local library system's collection.

Now that we were finished with the museum, we had a choice.  Do we go back to Alexandria to eat?  Or, do we stay in DC?  I figured that we should go by the Wharf development to see an area which had been redeveloped since my first visit to DC.  And that we did.  By now, the rain had gotten worse, but we had our umbrellas with us.  Luckily, it was a "short" walk to our destination - Hank's Oyster Bar. Yum!  Both of us had oyster based dishes for dinner, and we both felt that we got more than our money's worth in the quality of what we ate.

After dinner, we decided to go back to Alexandria for dessert.  There was a 24 hour diner (Bob & Edith's) on King Street that I wanted to try out, and I felt that this would be the perfect place to have something sweet before going back to our room. And we were both glad that I wanted to do this, as the thick shake RQS had was beyond comparison - it may have been the best she's had in years.  As for me, the Apple Pie with Ice Cream was just as good.  What a way to end an evening.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 03

 

The "Thing".   

The original "Thing" is a spying device now located in Fort Meade, MD.  Both this "Thing" and that in the former KGB Museum in New York are replicas of a real life device used by the USSR during the Cold War.  Today's visit to the International Spy Museum would refresh my memory of things I've seen before and give RQS an idea about an area of knowledge that I find interesting.

- - - - - -

As usual, RQS and I decided to have our breakfast at the hotel, then take the Metro into DC.  Unfortunately, Google Maps did not give us good information on how to get to the museum and we ended up walking at least an extra half mile or so in the cold before getting there.  (I don't think that Google's maps can handle 3 dimensional routes, as we would have needed to exit the Metro at a different exit, then walk through another building before reaching the museum.)  So we were a little bit tired before starting our tour of the place.

After paying the admission fee, we started our visit on the top floor and explored some of the history of spying - both in America and in the rest of the world.  The museum focused on the risky side of spying, as well as the reasons that many people turn to spying.  We could have spent a whole day exploring this place, but we were too tired to do much more by the time 4:30 came around. 

Since we didn't have the chance to eat lunch, we decided to have an early dinner.  So we had to make a decision - where to eat?  Well, the answer was relatively simple.  RQS wanted to visit the original Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street, and off we went.  Although I am not impressed by Ben's offerings, it is a good place to get a bowl of chili (not my favorite style), a burger, or a hot dog.  RQS wasn't impressed either, and she felt that it was one more experience to be checked off her list.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 02

Chuck Berry's Cadillac.  

Chuck Berry had style to spare.  By changing the phrase "Colored Boy" to "Country Boy",  he made the song "Johnny B. Goode" a universal classic that has been covered many times by great guitar players.  I wish I could have seen him live on stage, doing his "duck walk" while playing his guitar as only he could.

And this sets the stage for today's destination....

RQS and I had tickets to arrive at the National Museum of African American History at noon.  But first, we had to have breakfast before going into Washington.  So we went into the lobby where breakfast was available, and found a better spread than the "continental breakfast" provided by some hotels.  In addition to the typical assortment of cold cereals and make them yourself waffles; there were "to-go" bags containing bagels, spread and fruit; as well as pre-made omelettes, breakfast meats, and hash browns.  Yum!  It was good enough to dissuade us from going to the 24 hour diner down the block.  (We ended up going there for desserts, but I'll mention that in a later post.)

It was bright, sunny and cold when we went to DC.  But we got off at a station near the midpoint of the National Mall.  This meant that we'd do a lot of walking before reaching the museum about 30 minutes later than planned.  Unlike our last visit, we planned at the top of the building and worked our way down.  Our first stop was the section of the museum dedicated to blacks in entertainment. One could easily get overwhelmed by the historical artifacts contained here - and we spent most of our time in this section before moving onward.  From there, we visited another section which covered the history of Blacks in our armed forces.  Here is where history became sobering.  But I won't discuss my feelings here. At this point, both of us were tuckered out.  So we went downstairs to grab a bite to eat before finishing our museum visit for the day.

After a rest in our hotel room, we decided to go out for dinner around 9 pm.  The only restaurant we knew of was a sports bar / restaurant named for a former football player (Joe Theisman).  So we walked the 2 blocks in the bitter cold (it felt that way) to get a bite to eat.  Sadly, it was way too noisy there to enjoy a good conversation, and the food left a bit to be desired.  (It wasn't bad.  But it wasn't worth the money we spent on it.)  Luckily, we only had a short walk back to the hotel before we could go to bed for the night.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 01

 

Alexandria, VA - Old Town.  This was where we stayed in the DC metropolitan area.  The hotel we planned to stay at was about a block's walk from the Metro station, and had been chosen for easy access to Washington DC.  I figured that if we could easily commute into the city from a nearby suburb, we'd be able to avoid the need for a car while in the city - and I was right.

But first....

Since I hadn't heard back from one of my TG friends and that the other was at a Cosplay Convention, I decided that I would make this trip as Mario.  This would be an advantage for me, because it was too cold (save for the last 2 days of our trip) for me to wear the skirts and dresses I love wearing when presenting as Marian.  So I packed my bag only with Mario's clothes and stayed the night with RQS the day before our trip to DC.

Thursday morning came, and we were off to DC.  We took an Uber to Penn Station, but the driver didn't know enough to drop us off on West 33rd Street, in the designated area for Uber/Lyft pickups and drop-offs.  So we ended up getting out of the car on 8th Avenue - something I dislike when dealing with baggage.  Our next stop was the Amtrak waiting area, but we didn't have long to wait.  We were able to board the train within 20 minutes of our arrival.

Those who take Amtrak know that most trips tend to take longer than scheduled - save for trips along the Northeast Corridor.  This section of the national railroad network is controlled (mostly) by Amtrak, and has a reasonably high number of on-time trains.  For a 11:35 am departure, we knew that we'd be in DC around 3 pm - and we were not disappointed.  But then, it was time to find a cab to take us to Alexandria.  Unlike the outside chaos at New York's Penn Station, things at DC's Union Station are calm and reasonably organized.  It was easy for us to find a cab to get us where we needed to go.  So we headed to our hotel, checked in, and relaxed for a while.

Around 5:30, we departed the hotel and walked 1 block to the Metro.  We met RQS's cousin (and his wife) at Hot 'n Juicy Crawfish in the Adams-Morgan section of town, and had a great time.  But all too soon it was time to go back to the hotel.  It was nice for the cousin to offer to drive us back - and we got into a friendly, animated, but not agitated conversation. (When talking about the GOP and its attacks on our freedoms to control what is done (or not) to our bodies, I mentioned where I stand on transgender issues.  Luckily, both RQS's cousin and his wife lean left of center.)  When we got back to the hotel, the cousin's wife made sure to give us an extra friendly hug - as a way of telling us that they really enjoyed our company, and want to see us both again soon.

Ashes - a short post

 

Laffing Sal at the Musee Mecanique

Later this year, RQS and I will be visiting San Francisco on a California Cruise, and I will be showing her some of the places in town that have meaning to me. One of which will be the Musee Mechanique, where Laffing Sal can be found.  But of more importance is the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes.  I haven't paid my respects in over 10 years, and it's time I go back - even for a short visit.

Sooner or later, RQS will need to scatter her late husband's ashes.  And I will be there for her when she does it, as a (now ex) girlfriend was there for me when I scattered my wife's ashes 25+ years ago.  Over time, we all need to scatter the ashes from our past, so that we can get on with living.  This doesn't mean that we forget the past.  Instead, it means we are moving forward into the future.

Both RQS and I are taking the time to clean up our places.  In my case, I'm doing my best to declutter my place, so that required work can be done in my apartment.  I figure that I still have a few months to take care of things, and hope to have the bulk of these things taken care of before my cruise.  It will be nice to again have a place in the basement where I can seasonally store unused items from both of my wardrobes.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

 

"We will be closed permanently as of Friday, May 27th."

The above notice was posted on the window of the former coffee station at the train station I used to commute from.  And strangely enough, I miss the routine of going to work at a job I "sorta" liked. 

- - - - - -

This May, I'll have been separated from my job at the bank for 9 years.  And I don't miss what the job turned into at the end.  My last major assignment was a no-win situation with a person who did the work of 4 people, but wouldn't explain what she was doing so that she could be managed.  In fairness, she made herself indispensable, but at the expense of the people assigned to manage projects depending on her work.  

Much has changed in the past few years since I left my position with the bank.  My once useful skills are now obsolete, and I understand what those former steel workers felt when their mills closed down. Yet, I only have myself to blame for my skills becoming obsolete, as I can only blame those in dead one horse towns for not leaving before the one main employer there had the chance to shut down. It doesn't take much to see the writing on the wall.  But it does take some effort to heed the warning (as I did too late) that writing gives before disaster strikes.

- - - - - -

I see America in a culture war that no one individual started.  Instead, it is a natural reaction to the McCarthyism of the 1950's.  In the 1950's the "Red Scare" was used to manipulate people to fear Communists in their midst.  People were blacklisted by accusations alone, even though it was their right to advocate for America to use a different form of economic system.  (I won't get into discussions of Stalinism, and other good reasons to be concerned about Soviet problems infecting the United States in this post.)  Communism and Socialism became things to fear.  In the 1930's, we had "Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself."  In the 1950's, we were taught to fear everything, and to "Duck and Cover" for whatever good that would do.

By the time the 1960's came around, we were getting into the Vietnam War, and our youth started to wonder why we were wasting American lives.  Now, there was a rift in American society.  Half said: "America, love it or leave it." The other half said that the most patriotic thing we could do is to point out when a country is going wrong.  It was a good thing to challenge leadership when it is wrong.  In short, it is a good thing NOT to follow leadership when our leaders are taking the wrong path.

Since this time, America has gone through multiple political cycles, its pendulum swinging back and forth between conservative and progressive periods of political dominance.  Unfortunately, the conservative movement has now gained power by distortions of truth and by outright lies.  Honest conservatives have been pushed out of their own party, as the radicals seek only power in order to crush the progressives and what they stand for.  These radicals want to make America look like it did in the 1950's, a land where people of color were 3rd class citizens, a land where women took 2nd place to the males in their lives, and a land where the LGBTIQ population had to live in shame and fear.

- - - - - - 

As I write this post, I am thinking of last night's State of the Union (SOTU) address and its rebuttal.  The President's speech was one of unity and of goals.  The GOP rebuttal was one of fear, accusing the progressive movement of starting the culture war.  All the scary symbolic words were used in a way that I might buy into the message had I consumed a diet of right -wing propaganda. At least, I knew enough to tune out the GOP's spokesperson, as I couldn't bear to hear her lies and distortions of the truth, given her past history.

Years ago, Triumph of the Will showed the world the danger of the cult of Hitler.  Roughly, 80 years later, we saw similar imagery and themes used by a now (thankfully) former president to get himself elected. White Americans who feel victimized, humiliated, and continually threatened by (too rapid) changes without a social safety net to depend on bought into his message of empowerment and reclamation of past entitlement status.

Sadly, the message coming from the radical right is one of fear.  They will put us transgender people back into the closet (at best) and make us fear for our safety if they can.  If they have power, many in their ranks will feel empowered to victimize anyone who doesn't fit the social models presented in shows like "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet", "Father Knows Best", and "Leave It To Beaver." There was no way where LGBTIQ people could be presented in a positive light, and no room for people of color to be seen as equal members of society.

- - - - - -

So what happened last night?  In short, we have seen the definition of what is at stake in the culture war. We can not be a reasonably democratic republic if we regress to an America based on 1950's American values. We can not be free if we are forced to live with 1950's cultural norms.  And, we can not be free if our bodies are not ours to control.

Luckily, most Americans are not supportive of the goals of the radical right.  But they must continuously be reminded (in a soft way) what is at stake if the radicals win.  We must take advantage of the tools protected in our constitution, and use them as effectively as the radical right has, turning their arguments against them at every opportunity.  

Years ago, Charles Chaplin lampooned Hitler in The Great Dictator. He said that he never would have made this film had he known about the horrors of the 3rd Reich. I feel that it is important to be able to laugh at authoritarians, as they do not know what they can do about being seen as pathetic caricatures of powerful people. So, I go back to the SOTU address and the radical right's politician who disrupted the address to call the president a liar.  If I had been the president, I'd have responded in a way similar to Groucho Marx gag from Duck Soup, and said: "I'm fighting for your freedoms, which is something that you'd never do."   

 

The more things change, the more they stay the same....

Tax Paperwork Collection - a short post

 

At this time of year, most of us should have received all needed tax forms, and be ready to file our Federal and State tax forms.  In my case, I have enough paperwork coming in from enough places that I have to check each sheet against a list I've made to insure that I have everything needed for my accountant. Since my brother takes care of a the finances of a joint investment we own, I end up waiting for an extra month before sending paperwork to my accountant.

This year, I have to ask my account a simple question.  Does it make sense for me to drop the maximum amount I can contribute into a Roth IRA?  I'm not sure of where the stock market is headed, but I know that I want the tax advantages of a Roth IRA, as I will not need the principal invested for at least 5 years. (It makes sense for me to work part time, so that I can put money into this type of IRA.)

The big question I have to ask of myself: Do I want to work part time after I reach the age where I can collect Social Security?  What are the tax consequences?  How much more paperwork will I have to deal with if I do so?  (I can only imagine the headaches I'll face if I ever change my name....)

A long weekend with RQS, with little being done.

 

I ended up starting my visit to RQS on the coldest fay of the year so far in NYC.  Night time temperatures before wind chill factoring were in the low teens, and neither of us wanted to go out in the cold. Although I had to fight some traffic, it was an easy ride to her area, and I was able to find a nearby parking spot within a couple of minutes of arriving in her area. This was a good thing, as the air outside felt as if it was in the single digits.  This was one time that I wasn't traveling as Marian.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and the temperature started to warm up.  Yet, it wasn't warm enough to want to stay outside for long, so we only ventured outdoors to get dinner and dessert.  We caught a bus to a nearby restaurant and had a mice meal of Veal Ossobuco over Risotto.  YUM!  RQS was surprised that dinner cost as much as it did after tax and tip.  So she decided to buy some pastries for us to have for dessert. Luckily, we were able to wait for the return bus inside the pastry shop, so we were relatively comfortable when we got home.

- - - - - -

Normally, Sunday would be the last day of our weekend together.  However, the parking spot I had didn't require me to move my car until early Tuesday morning. So I was able to stay an extra day.  As a result, we were able to visit Chelsea Market in Manhattan.  Although this is more a place to eat than one to buy high end food, we did find a couple of diversions - one of which being a bookstore.  (I ended up buying a book for myself and a book to give her for Valentine's day - she already knows of the tickets I bought her for an A.J. Croce concert to be held early next month.)

- - - - - -

Monday was a day on the bonus plan, and we finished our binge watch of HBO's Perry Mason series.  RQS is hooked on this series and on The Newsroom.  (The 1st episode of the latter got her hooked.)  Unfortunately, the day was too short, and I still needed to do things at home.  So it was with a touch of sadness that I had to go home.

- - - - - -

Do I wish I could have spent time as Marian?  YES!  But it wouldn't have been practical for this weekend.  And, because I haven't heard back from an acquaintance in DC, I'll be spending all of my time there in Mario mode.  AARGH!  At least, RQS wasn't the person suggesting this.  Instead, I made the decision, as it made my efforts to pack for a 5 day trip to DC much easier than packing for a Marian/Mario trip.

It looks like only Mario will be going on this trip - a short post.

 

A while back, I contacted two of my TG friends to let them know that I'd be in DC soon, and would love to get together with them.  Unfortunately, one of these friends is between two trips and would be unable to meet me that weekend I'm there.  However, I haven't heard back from the second friend, and feel that I have to write her off for this trip.  And this means that I might as well travel as Mario, making packing for the trip much simpler.

I'll miss being Marian on this trip, but it makes more sense to travel as Mario and carry much less with me.  It will be nice to spend time with RQS sightseeing, and again meeting her cousin and his wife.  This makes our trip more than just worthwhile, as we need to get away from home more often than we do.

Hopefully, RQS and I will take another trip later this year, but this one having me in Marian mode for the whole trip..

A quick word of warning.

 

I'm not going to say too much today.  At the time I wrote this, our former president is using our transgender community as the target for MAGA hatred.  This disgusts me, as I don't like to see any group targeted for others' hate.  But, as they used to say in a kids' game: "Tag, you're it."

Unlike most LGB people, it's hard for many of us to go stealth.  Most of us can only hope to blend in as adults.  For children, it is even worse, as many are now unable to get the medical and psychological treatment they need for gender issues - governments have made these treatments illegal.

We have a war to fight.  But how to best do so?  I'd love to hear your feelings on this issue of vital importance to us.

Shopping has changed since the beginning of the pandemic.

 

Before the pandemic hit, I was accustomed to local malls and standalone stores being open to 9-9:30 pm, and many Walmarts open 24x7.  The best times for shopping were often the hour just before a store closed, or late at night, in the case of a 24x7 Walmart.  This has changed quite a bit since the stores reopened to their "new normal" hours.

Today, I lost track of time, and left to visit the mall where RQS and I were last weekend.  I figured that I'd go back to Burlington and buy the 2 dresses I was looking at on that visit.  So off to Rockland county I went, and I found the two dresses in the store as I expected.  At this point, I noticed it was 6:30, and thought I had enough time to make it to Lane Bryant in Paramus. So, I again got in my car, and proceeded to my next destination.

On the way down, I encountered a driver who did not want to let me into the correct exit lane, leaving Route 17 for Route 4 Eastbound.  Although I was signaling my intent, this clown almost caused an accident, as I cut in front of him just before being forced to exit in the wrong direction.  Of course, this clown decided to play a game with his brights, and I ignored him.  Once on Route 4, I signaled to get into a traffic lane, and this clown again decided to play games.  I can only imagine being a passenger in his car!  (Imagine the road rage this person must have been displaying....)  Once he was gone, I breathed a sign of relief before doing the half clover leaf across Route 4 to get to Lane Bryant.

In the past, this store would be open until 9 pm every day except Sunday.  Now, the store has a 7:00 pm closing time.  I'm glad that I only planned to look at some of the merchandise in the store, as I was not in the mood yet to buy a women's blazer that I found online.  Since the store had just closed, I figured that I could come back another day, and proceeded back home for the evening.

Broadway with Vicki #2 - a short post

Last night, it was dinner with Vicki #1.  Tonight, it was Broadway with Vicki #2.  One of these days, I'll have to find a way to get these two women together in the same place at the same time.  But until then....

- - - - - -

Today started with me staying in bed until almost noon. And then, I took care of some bill paying before getting ready to see Vicki #2 in the city.  Around 3:00, I got up and prepared myself to go out.  Even then, I didn't allocate enough time to take the train in from Cortlandt station.  Instead, I ended up going to Croton-Harmon, where I paid twice what I needed to in order to park, as I entered the wrong spot number when paying for my parking spot.  At least, I was able to catch the express train into NYC.

Arriving at Grand Central, I decided to take a look at what they now call Grand Central Madison / LIRR East Side Access.  Unfortunately, I didn't get much of a look, as the path to the tracks went for several blocks underground before reaching the escalators that would take me to track level.  As a result, I abandoned this exploration to get a burger at Shake Shack - a big mistake.  

If you haven't been to Grand Central in a while, most of the true seating in the dining area has been removed, so that vagrants do not find a comfortable home in which to rest.  Since there are almost no "affordable" places anymore where one can sit down and eat at GCT, I decided to get a burger at Shake Shack. This was a mistake, as I waited for about 10 minutes for my burger to get cooked.  I'd have done better by picking up one of the pre-made sandwiches on the other side of food court and eating that sandwich standing up.  Luckily, I knew that it was only 90 seconds to Times Square on the shuttle, and another 10 minutes to reach the theater where I'd meet Vicki.

Vicki looks so much nicer, now that she wears a cranial prosthetic (read: wig).  But I'm not going to mention it anymore to her, as this shouldn't be a big deal for either of us.  But I digress.  Vicki mentioned that her partner had already seen this play, and she thought of me as a partner for half price tickets.  It took me a while to find Vicki, but when I did,  we went inside to see Hadestown.  I'm not normally a fan of musicals, but I am glad I saw this one.  It tells an ancient story in an up-to-date manner.  Would I see this play again?  No.  But I might recommend it to someone who likes musicals.

All too soon, it was time to go home.  Vicki took her car, and I took the local to Croton.  I was glad to make it home when I did.  My bra was starting to get uncomfortable, and like most women, I couldn't wait to strip it off when I got home for the night....

Dinner with Vicki #1 - a short post

 

The original Lefteris Gyro in Tarrytown.  This is one of my favorite go-to places when I want Greek food, and the place where I've gone with Vicki #1 most often when we want Greek food. I've had a hankering for this cuisine for a while, and it was about time to go back to sate this craving.

- - - - - -

Last night, I wasn't able to get much sleep.  So I was concerned that I would be over tired by the evening came.  There were only two things on my docket for today - fixing the problem with my lab test bill, and having dinner with Vicki #1. When my alarm rang at 8 am, I simply hit the snooze button (figuratively) and didn't get out of bed until 11 am.  Since I was still very tired, I tried a nap for a while.  But I had to be fully awake for the first item on my docket - the phone call to the lab test company to deal with a billing issue.

Around 3:45, I finally called the lab test company and waited for 45 minutes for a human to get on the line. This was the 3rd time I reached out to the firm, and I reached a friendly person.  Once I explained the situation (based on information from my prior 2 calls), the lady saw that my Medicare insurance number was recorded incorrectly.  But even worse, Medicare was not my primary health plan in their records.  Instead, the insurance company associated with my former employer was listed as my primary insurance company, with no secondary insurance company on file.  So, I got the lady to correct this problem, and list Medicare as my primary insurance provider and my Part-N provider as my secondary.

When I was done with the Lab Test company, it was time to get showered and dressed to meet Vicki. On my way out the door, my next door neighbor complimented me on the dress I was wearing.  It was nice to know that I look nice when presenting as a female.  But I had no time to chat - I had to get to Vicki's house.  By the time I reached Vicki, I was 30 minutes late, and was glad to have warned her that I was going to be at her place by 6:00.  About 15 minutes later, we were at Lefteris Gyro, ready to enjoy a nice Greek dinner.  As usual, we had a great chat over dinner, and all too soon it was time to go home for the evening.

Scheduling my life

 

This is a sample page taken from my online calendar.  It shows the appointments I've made where I show myself as Marian and the appointments where I show myself as Mario.  You'll notice that most of the time, you'll find me out and about as Marian (shown in green). While at other times, I am out as Mario (shown in red).  If I didn't have this calendar, I'd screw things up and appear as Marian when people expect to see Mario.

Controlling where and when people see a selected gender presentation is essential for many transgender people who are testing the waters of being out to the world.  It is not always easy- especially when one is employed and has only so much time to present as one's authentic self.  However, my use of an online calendar makes this a manageable issue, instead of one that could blow up at any time.

There will always be some risk when one lives in both masculine and feminine spaces.  People are expected to live on one side of the gender binary or the other.  But this is not always possible for the transgender person who explores his/her authentic identity.  In my case, my neighbors do not much care which version of "Me" they see.  But I live in a "Blue State" that defends my right to live as my authentic self.  Others who live elsewhere might not be as lucky as I am.

Being retired gives me many advantages.  I do not have to worry about keeping a job.  Nor do I have to worry about rushing to change from Mario into Marian when I want to socialize as a female.  Another TG person I know has moved to a "Red State" and is often mistaken for a female when presenting as a male.  Yet, this person knows her limits and lives within them.  And we are among the lucky ones. Others live in fear of what their family, friends, and employers will do if their transgender natures are exposed.  I know of one transgender woman who flip-flopped between male and female presentations until she presented as female when her client expected to see a male.  How did things work out for her? Let's say that she still has a business and that she explores her transgender nature in public.

In the end, a schedule can be an essential tool for a transgender person.  If you haven't used one to keep track of your gender presentation for the day, you should consider using one.

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?

Did someone recognize me from a prior job? (A short post)

 

Last night, RQS and I crossed the river and spent about 45 minutes seeing Pat, my former hypnotist at her care facility.  RQS could easily see how the two of us could get into long winded conversations, as well as how the two of us could be friends.  Today, however, was much less pleasant - it was the end of the weekend, and she had to go home.

Before RQS had to go home, we had planned to get pedicures.  So off to the nail salon we went, and we both enjoyed having our feet pampered. Once done there, we went for some pizza, and then it was off to the train station to drop her off.  Now that I was free for the rest of the day, my first stop was Walmart to pick up some cosmetics (Stick Concealer and Makeup Powder).  When I walked thru the aisles, I noticed that she shelves were picked clean.  Seeing another older woman in the same situation I was in, I started to chat with her - and we had a nice conversation for a few minutes.

My next stop was at Trader Joe's.  And this is where someone may have recognized me.  I couldn't find any bread crumbs, so I asked for help.  One of the employees (in passing) said that he thought he knew me, but I didn't respond to him.  The last thing I needed was to chat with someone in Marian mode about knowing each other in Mario mode.  To me, it's best not to have this conversation in a public place.  Yet, I wonder - could he place a name to my face?

Some tickets I could get. Others, I could not.

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what to get someone?  Given my age and RQS's age, neither of us needs more stuff.  Instead, we need experiences of the types we couldn't have while married to our late spouses.  Both of us enjoy travel together, and both of us enjoy going to live performances.  So I look out for musicians, comedians, and theatrical performances that I think the two of us will like, and get tickets for her as one of my gifts.

For Christmas, I bought tickets to "The Play That Goes Wrong", and she loved it.  For Valentine's Day, I bought tickets to see A.J. Croce singing songs written by his dad about 50 years ago. (I was a great fan of his dad, and his death shocked me when I was much younger than I am now.)  Hopefully, this performance will do justice to his dad's work.  And for RQS's birthday, I bought tickets for us to see Sarah Millican in concert.  Given that we both want to see this comedienne, I expect that we will have a great time.

However, not all tickets are easy to get.  Nor do many of the performers I like make it to the United States that often.  For example, RQS and I tried to get tickets to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, and their "nearby" USA concerts are already sold out.  Ouch.  And don't get me started on Ralph McTell. I don't remember when he last toured the states, and I would love to hear him perform Streets of London in person.

There are many performers I wish I could have seen while they were touring, or while they were alive. For example, I kick myself for not seeing Ennio Morricone when he was last in New York.  Now that he has passed away, I'll have to settle for the music he left behind.  Another performer I doubt I will get the chance to see is Astrud Gilberto.  Yes, "The Girl from Ipanema" is one of my favorite songs. Since she is in her 80's, I doubt she'll be in the NYC area again.

In life, it is the experiences that count.  And they can't take away the memories of those experiences we had - especially if they are cherished by the people we share them with.