Dealing with legal issues.

 

When my father died, my brother and I gained control of the family homestead.  We were lucky that my dad protected the house from claims from his creditors by giving the house to his 2 offspring, but retaining a life interest in the property.  In the years since my dad moved into the nursing home (and after he died), we have been trying to get around to seeing a lawyer to protect our interests in the property, so that it can be passed on to our heirs.

Recently, my brother and I finally got around to seeing the first of 2 lawyers to get proposals in how best to protect the property.  The first method we received is based on a constructive use of Trusts and an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation). We expect that the second law firm we visit will propose a similar approach.  Although my brother can set up a LLC (he does this quite often in his line of work), we agreed that if a LLC were to be set up for us, it should be done by external counsel.  This way, we won't be the ones to possibly screw things up if we have problems.

Admittedly, this is what people do when they have something valuable to protect and enough money to protect it.  I am very thankful that my parents raised us well, and that both of us have the resources and skills to provide for the rest of our lives. If anything, this is better than most gifts I could have received in life....

It's easy to binge watch TV these days

If I could change some things about the original Addams Family TV series, I'd have filmed it in color and have given it a run of 7 seasons.  It's a damned shame that some of the classic TV shows only lasted 2 or 3 seasons, and were under appreciated by TV execs at the time.  Given today's media environment, there is not enough product for all the streaming channels, nor are there enough non-reality shows to make TV interesting anymore.  RQS and I consider ourselves very lucky to grow up towards the end of the Golden Age of TV, as we were spoiled by 3 major networks still trying to define what popular TV would become.

For years, it was hard to watch many of the classic shows once they left the networks, and ended their runs in syndication.  The technology needed for people to binge watch their favorite old shows did not exist, or it cost too much for the average middle class family to buy.  However, things began to change once the average home had at least 1 VHS tape player (and later, a DVD player).  Now, people could rent shows from their local Blockbuster outlet, and watch them at their convenience.  Later on, the growth of the internet made it possible to stream shows from sources such as Netflix.  Now, it is possible to binge watch any show, as long as it can be found on the internet.

Many shows are still not available on the internet.  For example, I have yet to find any channel that makes Midnight Caller (with Gary Cole) available for streaming.  However, I have found that someone uploaded over-the-air recordings of this show to a streaming service, product which has seemingly been abandoned by its owners. This is one of many shows still unavailable to the public, unless one is willing to visit the Paley Center in NYC to view programs in its library.

Given that I have a family member who worked in the TV industry, I have an interest in quality TV.  I am saddened by all the so-called "reality" shows that seem to dominate the networks.  Unlike classic TV shows, these shows are cheap to make and can generate acceptable advertising revenue.  As for me, I have given up watching network TV, and have begun searching for classic shows (such as Perry Mason) on streaming channels to watch in my free time.  At least, I have a boxed set of The Man Show to make me laugh when I need to do so....

 

Sometimes, packages get lost for a while

This weekend, I found that Amazon Prime isn't always able to deliver products in 2 days.  However, it is not as much of an Amazon issue as it is an issue with its contracted carrier, UPS.  This item was expected to be delivered to my place by Friday evening, and delivery was delayed by events while the package was in UPS custody - somewhere in New Jersey.  

I'm not going to complain about this, as I don't need these trackers until I leave for Hawaii.  But I may have encountered a flaw in the "last mile" of Amazon's package delivery system.  Once a provider has a glitch in its' system, it can propagate to cause problems with other service/goods providers.  If snow shuts down an airport, it fouls up transportation for any person needing to use that airport while the snow is on the ground.  Both RQS and I wondered why the package was delayed when the package was in New Jersey.  Unlike Upstate New York, the weather shouldn't have been a factor in the delivery's delay.  Unfortunately, I doubt that we'll ever find out what caused the delay.

 

 

Things are starting to get serious

 

Have you ever read the passage from "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that reads:

 The time has come,' the Walrus said,
      To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
      Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
      And whether pigs have wings.

Well, to some degree my life has been like that as of late, as RQS and I have discussed the subject of me being transgender.  And I've let her know (in no uncertain terms) that I will not make any body changes that would get in the way of our romance.  But this sounds much more serious than the conversation we had. 

One of the things we can laugh about is my preference for presenting as a female and enjoying as much of my life as possible as one.  She is comfortable going to restaurants with me this way, as she sees the same person when I present as a male and when I present as a female.    RQS enjoys going shopping with me in female mode, as it is another activity we can share with each other.  But there is more to this relationship than laughter.  We seem to be able to read each other's mind at times.  Even with incomplete information, we seem to understand what the other is trying to say.  And, even more importantly, she is comfortable raising troublesome topics with me before they become major irritants.

Neither of us are sure of what our long term living arrangements will be.  But we are comfortable talking about arrangements for travel that will take place a year from now.  This feels much better than the relationship I had with XGFJ, as we both assume that we have a future together - and talk about it. It's a damned shame that I had to through the hell I experienced 3 years ago to get where I am now....

Sample Sale!

I love the quality what Universal Standard has to offer, and have always wanted to visit their site and go shopping in-person.  Unfortunately, Covid-19 put the kibosh on that until now.  Recently, a sample sale made this desire a reality for me, even though they have not yet bothered to reopen a retail outlet for their goods.

- - - - - -

When I made plans with RQS for this weekend, I figured that I could meet her for lunch in NYC, and then visit the sample sale being held two subway stops away. So, I took a 12:30 train into the city and met RQS for lunch in Union Square.  From there, it was off to the sample sale.  Although we got on the wrong downtown train, we were still able to make it to their ad-hoc store by 3:00 or so.  And then the fun began....

We made it to the entrance, only to see a sign telling us that people had to sign up for this sale.  Obviously, neither of us did that.  So I figured that it was OK to take the elevator up to their floor, as I didn't think that this notice would be enforced - and I was right.  The two of us were in a room as small as my apartment that oozed estrogen. 

Upon entry, a saleswoman greeted us, and told us to look around.  Everything was "organized" by size.  (I'd say that this was a loose description, as not everything was being put back in its original place.)  Out of 30+ people in the room, there was only 1 male, obviously a "non threatening" employee (please read between my lines). Although there was no changing room, it looked like the women's dressing room at Syms (a former clothing store from the New York area) - women in all stages of dress or undress were trying on clothing they found on the racks.  RQS said that it was like being in a woman's locker room when the gym was busy.  It was only too bad that I couldn't have gotten into the swing of things and try on some outfits.  But I was able to find a nice robe in my size, and bought it for $35.

Once done there, it was time to go back to my place.  It was the first time that the two of us took the commuter train together, and it was a nice ride up the Hudson....

 

Dinners with Vicki & TCL

Last night, Vicki and I went to a dinner at a restaurant holding a HVRW (Hudson Valley Restaurant Week) promotion. As usual, when I see Vicki, I presented as female. It was nice to be able to go out to a nice place and be treated as a lady.  

But I digress....

Every year, Vicki and I try to go out to at least one restaurant participating in the HVRW promotion.  This year, most of our favorite places which participated in the past were not on the HVRW list.  So we decided to and try out a new place, Lenny's in Larchmont, NY.  

Lenny's is housed in an old building on the Post Road, and it is not easy to find the entrance to its parking lot in the dark. There was a car in front of me that couldn't find the parking lot, and blocked me while waiting to turn off the Post Road.  Once on the side street, I went around the block with an idea towards entering the parking lot in the one area where I could expect a driveway cut - right next to the tent that covered the bulk of their parking area.  (There was parking at the bank across the street, but we didn't know it at the time.)  It was nice to know that we entered the restaurant while the other car was trying to park.

Once in the restaurant, we proceeded to look at the menu.  There wasn't that much that was interesting on the Prix-fixe menu, but we found two dishes we liked.  However, not much other than our appetizer jumped out and said "come here again". (3 Oysters and 3 clams on the half shell served over ice - Yum!) Vicki said that there was something missing from her fish dish, and I was only satisfied by my chicken dish.  Please note that both of our taste buds may have been off, as Vicki had just gotten over a cold, and I had other issues that could have affected my taste buds.  So I won't knock this place for how their dishes tasted until I have given the place a second chance.

- - - - - -

Tonight, I went to see TCL.  It's been months since we've gotten together, and we wanted to go back to one of our old standby places.  So, after taking care of some things around the house, it was off to New Jersey in Mario mode.

I was a little concerned about a noise my car made when driving from Walmart's parking lot.  After a few miles, I realized that I had the transmission in D3 mode - and corrected it right away.  But this spooked me enough to avoid taking the Bear Mountain Bridge and cross the river in Tarrytown.  This added extra time to my trip, but I was able to make it to TCL's on time for dinner.

Luckily, Justin's (in Hawthorne, NJ) had an early bird Prix-fixe special, and we both had a good meal.  I had a veal dish, while TCL had chicken. Both of us were satisfied, and I felt as if tonight's meal was better than the meal I had the night before.  Unfortunately, the wine affected me a little, so I had to wait a while (enjoying a cup of coffee) for my body to catch up in processing what I fed it.  By the time we made it back to TCL's place, I was OK and ready for my drive home.

- - - - - -

While with TCL, Vicki called me.  Her hubby was unexpectedly going to be away on the day of her colonoscopy, and she wanted to take me up on my offer of being a chauffeur.  Of course, I said "Sure!" as I knew she'd do the same for me if I asked.  Shortly afterwards, my brother called and asked about my schedule - he wanted to schedule a visit to the lawyer to discuss issues we have regarding the house we own together.  So that'll be another day booked in my calendar.  I think TCL may start to understand why I try to book things way in advance - life has a habit of filling one's calendar while one wants to make other plans.

I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....