The seeds for today's cultural wars were sown almost 75 years ago.

 

Last night, I was having a conversation with Vicki and the topic of Jane Fonda came up.  Vicki will never forgive Jane for visiting Vietnam during the war, and I understand why she feels this way.  This is one area in which we disagree.  But we are usually closer in our views than one might think.  And this got me thinking: 

When did the first seeds for today's social polarization get sown?

One could say that some of the seeds were down when the 13 colonies separated from Great Britain, "Free State" vs. "Slave State".  But the United States was starting to address this issue shortly after WW2 ended, when the McCarthyism and the "Red Scare" started the dysfunction which has resulted in today's extreme political polarization.

The 1950's was an era where the cracks in the "American Ideal" started to show. The "Red Scare" triggered people to coerce pledges of loyalty from the populace.  This was an era where "Under God" was inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance, as a way to differentiate American values from the "Commies" in the USSR.  The Space Race started in the 1950's, and we were primed for the unrest of the 1960's.

Why is this so important?

The first of the "Baby Boomers" were starting to go to college around 1964.  There, they learned to question authority - something that simply wasn't done in the 1950's.  At this time, the Civil Rights Movement started to gain popular awareness, as well as the war in Vietnam.  Thousands of Americans were losing their lives in an unpopular war, and American youth questioned why we needed to fight this war.  This is the time when conservatives started saying "America, love it or leave it."  And many draft-age men did just that, moving to Canada as political exiles.  Liberals demanded equal rights for women and for minorities, threatening the forced political stability achieved in the 1950's.  So, when Jane Fonda visited Vietnam (which I consider a mistake of youth, and nothing more), it was an event which solidified the divide between Liberals and Conservatives in America.

Opportunist politicians such as Richard Nixon took advantage of the growing divide, making sure that tools being used to address segregation were de fanged, making it much harder to provide Blacks and Latinos equal opportunities in education.  Although Nixon is often given credit for ending the war in Vietnam, he was responsible for making it impossible for LBJ to get a peace treaty signed on his watch.  This was the time where the GOP started to "flip the south" from Blue to Red, while the Democrats were flipping northern GOP enclaves to Democratic strongholds.

America's great divide.

If one looks at a political map of the USA, one will see that most of the "Union" states from the Civil War are run by Democrats, and that the "Confederate" states are run by Republicans.  Most of the other states are controlled by Republicans, as they are rural and have fewer opportunities for people than the coastal (blue) states.  Opportunist politicians have demonized the opposition, and have made the Rural/Urban divide much worse than it used to be.  Since "conservatives" tend to desire order imposed by higher authorities, they get incensed when "liberals" focus on the rights of individuals.  

Social identity in the USA is often defined by the political party one is affiliated with.  In my case, a woman I dated called me a fascist when she found out that I am still a registered republican.  (I haven't voted for anyone in the GOP for years, as the party has become radicalized and I have moved towards the center.  In an earlier decade, I'd have been identified as a "Goldwater Republican."  Today, I would be labeled left of center.

So what can we do?

There will always be people who are seduced by the propaganda coming from one side or the other.  A thinking person has to keep one's sanity by challenging the messages being sent by a biased media.  Liberals should question MSNBC, while Conservatives should challenge Fox, Newsmax, OAN and other bastions of conservative misinformation.  When most people are polled about their beliefs, they are more centrist than one might think.  But, when political identity comes into play, people act against their own best interests.

When America works right, people are able to look out for their own selfish interests.  If tribal affiliation comes into play, people start marching to the drummers from their tribes - and everything starts breaking down.  So, I advise people to fact check both sides without paying any attention to their tribe's "opinion outlets" and then coming to a position of their own.  If they do this, they might find that their tribe's leaders are betraying them, and that they would be best served by voting the bastards out....

It's sometimes very hard to get in contact with people - a short post.

 

Recently, I've been trying to get in contact with several people, and have been mostly unsuccessful.  Why, you might ask?  In the case of my friend Pat (the ex-hypnotist), it could be one of several reasons.  First, she could have passed away.  (Given that she's around 80 years old, and that she's being treated for a chronic disease, this is a very likely option.)  Second, she is in a nursing home, and has been placed there for cognitive issues.  (Is she now unable to use her cell phone?)  Third, and most unlikely, she is no longer able to clear out her messages for some unknown reasons.  One day, I'll call up her nursing home and ask to have my call placed to her room.  That should get me some information - especially if something has happened to her.

Next, comes my friend LK.  She has two good excuses: One is a child with a genetic defect, and the other is a newborn child needing lots of care.  Unlike Pat, LK is young enough to be my daughter, and uses technology in a completely different way than I do.  If I catch her at the right time, things go along as if we were in the same room.  If not, it's crickets.  In short, I know my friendship is not a high priority for her, and accept it. 

There are others, and one of them is too busy to have a friendship with someone like me.  It's just as well, as we travel in different types of circles, and she's a workaholic.  Yet, I realize that people come into my life and leave it all the time, and accept it for what it is.  Do I miss some of these people?    Yes.  But others are better lost than found.  Yet, I wouldn't mind getting in touch with them again - if it were still possible....

Game Night and a lost earring - a short post

 

The other day, I ended up going to game night.  Since I wanted to wear jewelry, I decided to wear the earrings given to me by the couple who host game nights twice each month.  Well, I had a hard time getting the post into my ear, but thought I succeeded in doing it right.

Obviously, I did it wrong, as the post wasn't locked into the notch that keeps the earring in place.  So, when I was playing games, the earring fell out without me noticing it.  When I got home, I noticed it was missing, and thought about calling game night's hosts to see if they found the earring there.  I wasn't going to tell them that it was the second time I lost this earring.  Instead, I decided to order a replacement pair of earrings.

This morning, I got a text asking me about an earring they found.  And yes, it was mine!  So I didn't need to place an order.  However, Karma played its' game with me, as I lost (or didn't receive) the replacements I ordered from Amazon.  

At least, I'll have a set of earrings I care about....

The doctor wants to run another test on me - a short post

 

I went to the doctor today, and he saw signs that made him want to have a liver scan done on me.  I've put this off for a long while, and don't relish going in for a simple scan.  Why, you might ask?  Maybe, I'm hiding from reality.  And maybe, I simply don't care.  This is why I wish I had a good therapist I could trust with both my eating issues and my gender issues.

Years ago, I broke up with Patty, then Ex-GF-M because of eating issues.  Both were good people, but they were triggering my food addiction.  Since then, I've never been able to restore the drive I once had to lose weight and live a more healthy lifestyle.  I've simply become complacent.  And I'm paying the price for being complacent.

Hopefully, this will be a wake-up call in the nick of time, as I want to stay healthy enough to live a longer life than I expect to live, now that I have someone I really care about in my life.  But it will take major changes in my life to do so.  At least, there will be one major non-health related benefit - I will be able to buy a new wardrobe that fits me well and looks better on me.

Lunch with a friend & Zooming with Friends

Today, I had lunch with my friend, C, from the US Census, and had a monthly Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  And I realized that monthly get togethers are the perfect time interval for each, as this gives us enough time to build up enough things we can talk about that happened in our lives.

But first....

Sooner or later, I will need to schedule an appointment with the sleep doctor.  I am falling asleep, but still feeling tired when I wake up - which is happening after a sleep of short duration.  I know that my CPAP is working, but there could be something else disturbing my sleep.  Also, I want to get a new CPAP machine prescription before the old one wears out.

Once I woke up, I got showered and dressed in one of the summery dresses I had in my closet.  (I decided not to take the tags off of either of my Universal Standard outfits, as I might end up returning one of them after RQS has a chance to see them on me.  But I digress.  I was very surprised to find that it was over 80 degrees outside, and that I didn't need to wear the denim jacket I had planned to wear.  So when I saw C,  she complimented me on what I was wearing.  Then, we caught up on all of the things that have gone on in or lives over the past month.

All too soon, we had to leave, and I stopped off at the apartment to put my leftovers in the refrigerator. The, it was up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to do some browsing through the racks.  Luckily, I didn't spend any more money on clothes I didn't need.  (I'll wait to find things other than dresses that both I can wear comfortably and that look good on me.)  On the way home, I stopped off at Aldi to see what the "cousin" of Trader Joe's was like and picked up a few things.  (See: Aldi History.)  Then, I went home for the night.

Once home, I rested a little before a Zoom meeting with RQS and my Texas friends.  Although I hope we can all get together again soon, I doubt this will happen as a foursome.  Instead, I think we have better odds if one or the other friend were to meet RQS and I in one of our travels.  We had a good chat, as usual, and around 10 pm, we bid each other farewell until next month.

Giving DCD his keys - A short post

 

I knew that if I were to go out today, it would be as Marian.  And the only thing on my docket was to meet DCD after work and give him the keys to his car.

- - - - - -

This morning, I woke up early.  So I made myself some breakfast, and went back to sleep for a while.  By the time I got up again, it was noon, and all I had the energy to do was to put folded laundry back into the drawers, and to hang some garments up in their appropriate closets.  When I finally was in the mood to get ready to meet DCD, it was 5:30 pm - and I put on one of the more comfortable dresses I have.

A problem I've been having lately is that one of my ear piercings wants to close up.  I may have to go back to the piercing studio and have the piercing redone.  But I'll wait until after I return from my Norway cruise to do this.  At least, I was able to push the pin through my earlobe without any pain, and wear some nice hoops.

I reached the diner where I was to meet DCD around 7:45 pm.  I figured that I'd get a seat and let him find me.  Well, he was a little bit late, so I made sure to hand him his keys before doing anything else.  Over dinner, we chatted about many things, but mostly his problems in dealing with confrontation.  He'll retreat from almost anything that makes him feel uncomfortable unless he has no escape.  So, tonight was not a night to prod him - I did more than that this past weekend.

DCD told me how he got the car off the car carrier, and into a parking space.  I wouldn't have known how to do this.  So, he must have part of a brain to work with.  This made me glad, as I feel that he didn't screw things up to get the car off the carrier.  What did bother me is that he didn't have enough cash to pay for his meal, and that I had to front him $10 for his share of the bill.

On the way to his mom's place, DCD started talking about his family (and his ex-family - he is divorced), and how everyone expected him to screw up.  He accused his ex-wife of sabotaging him towards the end of their marriage, and even to poison the relationship between him and his children. Later on, I discussed this with RQS, and we both agreed - DCD doesn't want to take responsibility for his mistakes in life, and that others' expectations were likely based on objective reality.

At least, there is one thing DCD and I agree on: Our former therapist would never have been able to deal with my gender issues, and that I was wise not to bring them up with him....

Catching up on things.

 

Catching up on things going on in my life....

1. This past weekend, RQS came up earlier than usual for a Friday.  Although Friday's schedule became open due to DCD's car financing issues (he didn't have enough money saved to register the car), the rest of the weekend's schedule would be affected due to DCD's problems in getting his car (my old Honda) out of my parking spaces.
   
   Although it rained most of Saturday, we had to stay around the house because DCD was supposed to come up with a car carrier and take the car away.  Sadly, he screwed that up, as he was supposed to have a friend come with him - and the friend's no-show prevented DCD from getting to U-Haul on time to get the car carrier.  We were a bit frustrated, as we could have spent the day at the movies, instead of watching reruns on TV.
   
   Sunday came, and DCD finally came up with the car carrier after work.  Although he was later than expected, we got the car running enough to get it on the car carrier, and finally out of the parking space where it dwelled for the past 5 weeks. However, he misplaced the car keys, and this proved to be a problem for him.
   
   DCD had lost the keys to the car, and was going to go to Honda to get new keys cut and programmed.  Luckily, on Monday, the car keys were found, and I arranged to give them to him tomorrow.  (DCD was a topic of conversation between RQS and I until I dropped her off at the train station Monday morning.)
   
   
2. I got in contact with my friend Vicki, and we were able to have an impromptu dinner on Monday.  Something happened to her that will have her thinking about her future and what she wants to do with it.  Since something like this happened to me a while back, I gave her the benefit of my experiences, and hope that she finds a way that is best for her in her forward path.
   
   
3. An appointment with my GP is coming up, and I am not looking forward to this visit, as I gained a few pounds on my last cruise.  (Normally, the increased physical activity on cruises causes me to lose weight.  But not this time.)  Part of me wants to postpone this visit, but this would likely be a mistake.
   
   
4. The two garments I expected from Universal Standard came on Saturday.  One of these outfits (a jumpsuit) looks good on me - especially if I'm wearing the right color bra and wearing my jean jacket over it.  The other garment, a sleeveless dress, doesn't look as good on me, and I'm thinking of returning it for credit.  Will I do so?  Who knows?  Maybe RQS can give me her opinion when she comes back here on the weekend.