Shopping as entertainment

 

One thing that many males complain about is the female style of shopping.  Males usually have a good idea of what they shop for, and go directly to what they want in a store, pick it out, bring it to the checkout counter, and leave the store shortly after they arrive.  Contrast this with the female way of shopping.  Most females will enter the store and browse.  Although they know what they want to find, they look at all the available offerings to see if there is something special that may have been overlooked, and then get to the products they wanted to look at.  It doesn't matter whether the woman buys the product or not, as it is the search that seems to count.

Although the above may be an exaggeration of how the two genders tend to approach things, the approaches may relate to our history as a hunter/gatherer species.  Given how males process visual input for moving things, it makes sense for males to focus on a specific target, hunt for it, and then "bag it" to being home to the family.  Females focus more on stationary visual input and the other senses, and this may have given them an advantage when gathering food.  The slight differences in color, smell and taste may make a big difference when gathering food, as being able to interpret the subtle differences in fruits and plants may be the difference in whether one eats poison or nutritious food.

When I started going out as a female, I retained a male way of shopping.  I knew what I wanted to buy, and didn't want to waste any time in doing so.  Now that I'm retired, my style has changed a little - especially in clothes shopping.  I'll browse through catalogs, as well as clothing racks to see if there is something that interests me, and buy things if I find them interesting enough and needed enough.  Shopping is more fun now, as I can openly enjoy using the products of my searches - especially when I'm browsing through a candy store, like the one above.

Can you imagine what I'd be like if I were a Size 18 again?

It's a holiday weekend!

 

I'm not sure if my readers have noticed this, but I usually am a couple of weeks behind in my published posts.  The reason for this is that I don't want to give away my current location when I travel.  By doing this, I can always play catch-up with my posts when I return.  Hopefully, this explains why I gave this entry its title.

- - - - - -

Some quick thoughts on how I expect things to go:

RQS is coming up later today, and my place is a mess.  That's OK for now, but I have to clean it up a little before she gets here.  I'm not sure of how I plan to dress when she arrives.  But if I'm wearing trousers, it may be a surprise for her.

Sometime this weekend, we will be going to either Shoprite or Stew Leonard's to buy some live lobsters while they are on sale. My refrigerator is already filled to the gills, and I don't know where I'll put the lobsters while I'm waiting for the water to boil in which I'll cook them.  

I'm tempted to take a drive up to the New York State Museum (an exhibit is pictured above) over the weekend.  Saturday may be the best day for this long drive, as we can take our time going up to Albany and coming back to Westchester county in the evening.  Unlike my last long drive to the North Country, I plan on avoiding speed traps by taking slower routes on this trip.

Sunday may be a day spent nearby, where we may go to see a movie.  The third movie in the Equalizer series interests me, only because of its leading star.  With that being said, I'm not sure if I want to see another "action" film.

And Monday, RQS and I will be going to Yonkers to spend the day with the Game Night crowd.  RQS is usually busy on Thursdays, and would rarely see these people   But she was there once, and enjoyed being with these people.  So she's thinking of making them a dessert this weekend.  At least, it will not require the use of my oven....

- - - - - -

As you can tell, I didn't have much to say about my life today, save for my plans for the weekend.  Later on, I'll find out whether things went according to plan....

I had two reasons to get up, and I was glad I did

 

Strangely enough, I didn't need my alarm to wake up today.  Instead, I fell out quickly after a short bio-break, and still got moving early enough to do things during the day.  On my list was doing 2 loads of laundry, and then going out to dinner with Vicki.

Although this was going to be a Marian Mode evening, I presented as Mario when I went downstairs to do the laundry.  Two loads, and just in time.  RQS comes up tomorrow for a long weekend, and I want to make sure that she has clean sheets to put on the bed when she's here.  (It's a lot nicer for her with clean sheets, and I wait for her to arrive to put fresh ones on the bed.)  If I'm lucky, I'll find the time to fold everything before she gets here, but....

Around 6:00, I arrive at Vicki's place and we then go to Lefteris for dinner.  Vicki has lost the weight she wanted, and now should qualify for the procedure she wanted to have done several months ago.  Both of us consider Lefteris our go-to restaurant for Greek food, and both of us felt sated at the end of the meal.

As you can see, as long as I have something that motivates me to get up, I will do so.  Today was a good day for me, and I'll be looking forward to a long weekend with RQS.

Rambling on a little....

 

When I have no urgent commitments for the day, I tend to do nothing.  Today, I did it well.  My energy levels usually don't start rising until the afternoon.  And then, it's often too late to do much of anything. This was my day today. With that being said, I still got around to doing a little reading - something I don't make enough time to do. 

One of the things I usually put off doing is laundry.  Most of us tend to put this task off until we have enough whites or colors to fill a basket, and do the laundry one load at a time.  Living in an apartment, I have to do the laundry within a certain time period during the day, and it's not convenient for me. So, it's a task I put off until I have no choice but to take care of it.  And that will be the first thing I do tomorrow.

Like many procrastinators, I tend to put off certain tasks that I hate doing.  In my case, it's dealing with people.  I have to figure out how to get rid of a sofa, and feel much more comfortable communicating with emails, than to pick up a phone and talk with a human.  (Could it be a fear of having "no" told to me?  Or, is it a simple case of ambivalence?  Who knows?)  I did make a call to the Salvation Army to see if they could accept a donation of my sofa, and if they could pick it up.  Unfortunately, their phone system has people call a central number, which then gets forwarded to a regional site - and that site was busy.  No provision was made to take a message.  Then, I sent an email to a local outlet of Habitat for Humanity to ask the same question .  And this time, I got a response - the person I need to reach won't be back until after the holiday.  Until I know how and when my sofa will leave this apartment, I can't buy its' replacement.  AARGH!!!!

Given everything, I shouldn't be in a rush to spend money.  I have bills coming in, and I shouldn't touch my 401k unless I need to do so.  At least, I have this option, where many people my age don't have my resources.  Right now, I have 4 known big ticket expenses to plan for:

1. New Car
2. New Sofa
3. New Mattress
4. Norway Cruise
   

Of these, I only plan to finance the car with a bank loan - everything else will be paid for out of current income or savings.  But, I won't get financing from a dealer.  Most can't be trusted as far as one can spit.  If I see anything questionable on the deal, I will walk away - as I did last year when a dealer in Goshen, NY decided to hide a bogus $900 charge in the contract. 

You'll notice that I've said nothing about my partner or being transgender.  As I've noted elsewhere, this blog chronicles my life. Being trans or having a partner are only parts of my life.  But I do take interest in current events involving the transgender community, such as Canada's recent advisory to those in the LGBTIQ community in regard to visiting the USA.  It's sad to know that our Northern Neighbor would protect my rights more than my country would protect mine....

I had less than no energy for most of the day - a short post

 

I have mentioned my problems getting up in the morning, but today was a doozy!  I ended up staying in bed well past 11:00 am, and still had no energy to get up when I awoke.  It wasn't until 1:00 pm when my body started to have any energy, and I knew that I had to get moving, or I wouldn't have anything to eat before our scheduled co-op board meeting.

With all of the above being said, I still had a productive day.  We had a successful co-op board meeting, and we were able to choose a vendor for some important work we need to have done for us.

- - - - - -

I'm grateful to be able to talk with the people on the co-op board, as they gave me a couple of good ideas on what I can do with my old sofa just before I buy its replacement.  The only problem is that I have to work to figure out how I will dispose of the sofa - and that will take time.

My brother just booked a cruise.

 

I won't go into many details here, save those which do not identify my brother in any way.  This means that I won't identify him by name, the ship he will sail on, or when he will sail.  But I can tell you about how quickly he made the decision to take his first cruise.

- - - - - - 

Yesterday, I received an email from my brother containing the cruise itinerary of one of his friends.  Given that I had no warning about this, the message took me by surprise.  Later in the morning, I found that my brother left me a message on the phone to look at this itinerary to find out what I thought about it.  So I gave it some thought and came up with the following items:

1. Sailing on a new ship costs more money than sailing on an older ship.
2. Booking airfare via the cruise line can be hit or miss.  I did well with NCL booking my air for my Hawaiian cruise, even though its choice of flights may not have been what I would have chosen. Others have reported that NCL's flight bookings left much to be desired, and often had unrealistic times between flight segments.
3. The Mediterranean during peak season is hot.  Often, temperatures stay above 40°c (104°f) for days at a time.  American travelers often stick out like sore thumbs, as we look for "American" ways to deal with the heat, and not dealing with it the way the natives do.
4. His route's cruise ports are 60-120 minutes from their associated cities.  This means that he will need to plan his shore excursions carefully.

My list was longer than this, and it included details specifically related to him and his wife.  When I called my brother, he was overwhelmed by what I was saying and made an excuse to end the call.  RQS and I fleshed out the list a little mode, along with suggestions that he view some videos made by cruise vloggers we watch regularly.

This evening, I was surprised to find that he booked this cruise with less than a couple of days of thought.  He really wanted to take this cruise.  Hopefully, he'll have taken my advice in regard to booking an internet package for when he's on the ship.  (I expect that he'll keep up to date on his commitments at home.)

I'd have recommended that he take a shorter, more local cruise before taking this cruise.  However, he has a habit of trying to bite off more than he can chew.  Hopefully, he has not done so with this cruise. We'll find out sometime towards the end of 2024.

Furniture shopping - again...

 

Now that I know what I want, I have to figure out a way to get the furniture into my apartment, and get the older stuff out.  And I don't want to spend a lot of money doing this.

- - - - - -

I've been tracking the price of this sofa for a while.  The price has stayed relatively stable, as it is the store's top of the line brand for reclining sofas.  Having viewed this sofa several times as Marian, I couldn't go into any of these stores as Mario to make the deal.  So I went to a new outlet and met up with a new salesman as Mario - and he gave me the information I needed to do the deal, save one: I needed to have answers on how to get rid of the old sofa.  For this, I will need to make additional arrangements, such as calling a firm like Junkluggers to remove the old sofa.

One annoying thing I noticed was that the online price was $130 less than the in-person price for the sofa.  I'll bet that this will be negotiable with the salesperson when the time comes. Until then, I'll do my research on how to get rid of the old sofa and when to do so.  Ideally, I'll be able to get the town to dispose of it on bulk pickup day, and all I would need to do is get a couple of people to help me lug the old sofa out to the dumpster area.

Once I'm done with this, I have other things I need to do - such as buying a new coffee table. Hopefully, I'll find something I like soon.

Looking for lobsters, and we didn't find any.

 

The North American Lobster - a treat to many.  And yet, these animals were once so plentiful that they were fed to prisoners, slaves and apprentices during the American colonial era.  Today, they are considered a delicacy, and I only buy them when they are on sale.

Last night, RQS and I planned to go to the local ShopRite after seeing a movie to take advantage of a sale they were having.  Lobsters were on sale for $7.99/lb.  That meant that I could stock up on lobster, cook a couple for the two of us to eat that evening, and have the meat for lobster salad over the next day or so.  Unfortunately, this was a mistake.  Before we made it to the store, they were all sold out of live lobsters. But we didn't know this when we went to the store.

Arriving at the store, RQS went to pick up some things while I headed to the seafood department.  The fellow behind the counter told me the bad news when I asked for lobsters.  So, I picked up a tray of two partially cooked lobsters (with potatoes and corn) ready to be steamed to perfection.  At that time, an announcement came over the PA system - Lobsters were on sale for $7.99.  So I sent RQS over there to find out what was going on, since I was there already.  That's when we found out that all of the announcements were on a prerecorded loop, and that no one could stop them if a selected item was sold out.

We then went home to try the "heat and eat" lobster dinner, and were both impressed and disappointed at the same time.  The seasoning for the food was very good, and we plowed through the food quickly.  However, both the quantity of lobster and preparation instructions (tiny lobster, with no reheating information) took away from the enjoyment of the dish.  (RQS had to saute the lobster meat in the tails because it was underdone.)

Would we do this again?  Maybe, but only if I wanted to reheat everything in my oven, and not using a steamer for the lobster.

A trip to the sample sale

Sometimes, you get a bargain.  Sometimes, you don't.  Today's trip to Universal Standard's sample sale was mostly a waste of time.

- - - - - -

My plan for today was to get up and out of the house early, so that I could meet RQS at Universal Standard's sample sale.  I got showered and dressed, and out the door by noon to make it to the store by 2:00 pm.  However, my usual tardiness meant that I would not be able to pick up a snack on the way to the station, and I was lucky to know of a soda vending machine on the platform to get a soda. This was a wise choice, as the weather was warm and sticky, and not conducive to me wearing my wig. But I soldiered on anyway.

I made it into Grand Central around 1:30, and could have picked up something to eat downstairs.  Instead, I ended up deciding to see if there was a deli near the store, and got on the subway.  Although this was risky, I knew that I could hold out for a while.  And soon, I was in front of the store with 45 minutes to spare.  Now, it was time to find a deli, bodega, fast food outlet, or promising halal food cart. None of the nearby food carts had people waiting to order, so I took them off of my list.  There were no fast food outlets in my path, so I drew a line through that option.  Luckily, I was close enough to some of NYU's buildings that I stumbled into a small deli - and it was there I picked up a sandwich.  But I still had a problem.  Where do I eat?  There was nowhere to sit in the place, and it wasn't air conditioned.  Luckily, there was a bench outside, and it was dry enough to sit on it's edge and enjoy the sandwich I had just ordered.

When done with the sandwich, I walked over to the store.  To describe this place as a store leaves something to be desired.  Universal Standard hasn't had a traditional storefront since before Covid. Instead, it occasionally opens a pop-up store in the back room of its offices, where a freight elevator brings people up to that back room.  RQS had gotten a little lost getting out of the subway, and I waited for her to arrive at the ground floor of the building, sitting inside near the freight elevator.

RQS arrived, and we went up to the showroom.  It wasn't as crowded as the last time we were there, but it was still a sea of femininity there.  If it weren't as warm as it was, I'd have done what one woman did, and wore a bodysuit/unitard under her clothes to allow her to strip and not show her underwear while trying on clothes. (I may do that next time.)  Unfortunately, there was nothing special that caught my interest, although I did buy something small that I may talk about at a future date.  RQS found nothing, and we ended up going back to my place, enjoying the trip together for a change....

If you knew sushi, like I know sushi....

There is an old song that goes:

"If you knew Suzie,
 Like I know Suzie,
 Oh, Oh, Oh, What a gal..."

I rework that in my head, replacing "Suzie" with "Sushi", whenever I go out for sushi.  Today was one of those days I did just that.

- - - - - -

But first....

As has been happening lately, I didn't go to sleep when I wanted last night.  Knowing that I'd have a hard time waking up in time for lunch, I set multiple alarms on multiple devices to ensure that I'd be able to get ready and meet my friend with minimal delays. After showering, shaving, and making up my face, I decided to put my earrings in.  With q tolerable "struggle", I was able to do so without much effort.  This is important, as I don't want to go back to the piercing shop a third time.

At noon, I drove into Croton to meet my friend from the census.  We try to meet at least once each month to catch up on things, and today, we met at a sushi joint in town. The conversation flowed like water.  All too soon, it was time to go home - and none too soon, as I had GI Tract issues.  When done, I drove to Target to buy a bathroom / shower shelf, so that all my bath needs could be in an easy to reach place.

And then, it was time to go home.  I got on Route 133, and less than a mile from the Saw Mill River parkway was the site of a multi car accident blocking the road.  Instead of waiting for things to clear up, I drove back to the Saw Mill parkway, taking a wide detour to get home.  Given that it is raining as I write this, I'm going to close out this entry because I doubt anything more of consideration will happen tonight.

I woke up late today, and did nothing of note.

 

I didn't want to get up today.  I was comfortable in bed and didn't want to get up - until I needed to take a bio-break.  That's when I looked at my watch to find that Mickey was getting held up!

- - - - - - 

At last night's board meeting, we were frustrated by three no-shows at our zoom meeting.  Luckily, the fourth vendor gave a good presentation.  Although we need to interview more vendors, we feel good about this one.  That's enough said on that issue - I don't want to say whether I'd award him the contract, nor do I want to say what he was bidding on. 

This morning, I received an email from our managing agent, apologizing for the problem.  Since the email came from the new fellow, I am not going to jump on his back too much.  But this apology made me reconsider the wording I'd use on the meeting minutes, and I edited them before, and reword the paragraph so that the new site representative would not suffer too much from his mistake.

- - - - - -

Afterward, I ended up doing a lot of nothing, and this was just as well.  The Broadway play I was thinking of seeing was sold out, and I no longer had a good reason to make it into NYC.  Although I could have gone to the furniture store to buy the sofa I wanted, I decided not to leave my apartment. Do I regret doing nothing?  Yes and no.  It would be nice if I had a better reason to get up in the morning. This is a problem with retirement, and one I deal with on a regular basis.  And this is why I used to attend as many meetups as possible - I like human companionship, and it gives me a reason to rise and shine in the morning....

Caves

 

The Crystal Caves of Bermuda - a tourist destination that I want to see.  The drawback to visiting this place is (for me) the steps to reach the place - 88 steps.  This is the equivalent of walking down and up 5-6 flights of stairs.  For someone overweight with knee problems, this is not something that is done quickly. But it is doable.

Why do I mention this?

RQS and I are going to visit Bermuda in the near future.  Given the conservatism of Bermuda, I will not be traveling as my authentic self.  But I digress.  RQS doesn't know whether she will feel comfortable inside of the cave.  So I suggested that we try something out closer to home, in order to find out whether she'd like to visit this place.  (It's also an excuse to get away for a day or two, instead of hanging out in the usual places.)

- - - - - -

The nearest caverns similar to what we'd visit in Bermuda are found in Upstate New York.  The most famous of these are Howe Caverns.  Although I've been here before, I wouldn't mind visiting the place again.  And it is an ideal place to take RQS before our trip, as we might get to see the leaves start to change on our way up.  From what I can tell from my pictures of Howe Caverns, it will be a very different experience from Bermuda's Crystal Caves for RQS.  In New York, one walks through a narrow path, then reaches a small boat on which one reaches the far point of the tour.  In Bermuda, it looks like a walking path has been floated on a subterranean lake, where claustrophobiacs may only have their discomfort triggered by the ceiling height in the caves.

Will RQS feel comfortable in the caves?  Who knows yet?

We wouldn't make this a one day trip. This way, if RQS didn't like going through the cavern, we would stop at the New York State Museum in Albany on the way home.  It is a good museum, and well worth visiting when one's in the area.  From there, we could drive down either side of the Hudson and enjoy the sights along the way back to Croton. 

 

Taking care of business (part 3)

 

A week ago, electricians came to the apartment to remediate issues caused by the aluminum wiring in my apartment complex.  Not dealing with this issue would increase the possibility of a fire, and our insurance would not cover us until this work is complete.  Today was the second visit from the electricians .  However, this visit was to deal with outlets behind my bed and dressers that couldn't be reached on their first visit.  To get to these outlets, I had to dump lots of stuff into bins and boxes to get it out of the way (to be sorted out later), so that the furniture could be moved to access the outlets.

In the process of moving furniture, I found a lot of stuff that had fallen behind the dressers and bed that was too hard to get at in normal circumstances.  Once things are back to normal, I will sort through everything I put into bins and boxes to determine what stuff to keep and what stuff to trash.  This is something that everyone should do every few years, and it's been almost 30 years since I've done this because furniture movement is a daunting task for me these days.

- - - - - -

The electricians were supposed to be here at 9:00 am.  By 9:30, I was getting concerned that something was screwed up, as I had no notice of any problem.  So I did two things in parallel: Write an email to the co-op's managing agent to notify them of the problem, and to call them immediately afterward.  Obviously, I got someone's attention, as within 15 minutes, I found out that the electricians would be here within a few minutes.

When the electricians arrived, they were apologetic - they had come off of an emergency call (the electric had gone out in half of a person's house in White Plains), and couldn't make it back to me on time.  They were also surprised to find out that I hadn't been notified of the problem, as I would have been less anxious and annoyed at having to wait longer than expected.  Within 30 minutes, they had finished work on all 3 of my remaining outlets, furniture was back in place, and I was able to relax and take a nap.

- - - - - -

What I haven't mentioned about today was that I didn't get much sleep the night before.  So, when TCL called to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't do lunch today, I was a bit happy that this happened.  We can schedule lunch for when I'm more rested and awake....

A too short weekend with RQS

 

I've gotten spoiled.  RQS has been up here on a weekly basis, and I've enjoyed the little things she does for me - and I've told her how much I appreciate what she does for me.  Unlike my former relationships, RQS knows how I feel about her, and she's not afraid to tell me how she feels about things.  We both feel that we're fortunate to have each other in our lives.  We feel a little depressed when we have to part at the end of each weekend.

- - - - - -

Relaxation would become the theme for the weekend....  On Friday,  I was late getting to the train station to pick up RQS, and apologized  - Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!  It didn't bother too much, as we ended up going for a nice drive before dinner.  (We had to pick up groceries, etc. before I could cook....)  Once home, we had a quick dinner and then relaxed.  It was nice to be able to spend a day in Marian Mode, as for the next 3 days, I'd have to present as Mario. 

The next morning, we slept late, and then took a long drive up to Dover Plains and back, stopping in a local supermarket for some Tipsy Scoop ice cream.  Unfortunately, they had only one flavor in the freezer, Mint Chocolate Chip, but it was good enough for our purposes.  So we went home, and I prepared some ribs for dinner. (You can guess what we had for dessert - something green....)

Sunday came too quickly, and I decided to drive RQS home.  I gave her a set of TV tables (small tables often used for eating TV Dinners in front of the TV) to get them out of my house.  But first, we went to my brother's place, as he had something he wanted to take care of with me.  The 3 of us had dinner, and then it was back to his place for a few minutes.  We then went to RQS's place, where Iwas lucky to find a spot in front of her place in which I could "almost fit" my car, and then unloaded stuff before heading home.

Being alone is such a lonely thing these days.  Now that I have someone in my life who accepts me as Mario and Marian, it is a little depressing when we separate at weekend's end.    But on the whole, I consider myself lucky.  How many TG's have given up on romance because they feel no longer date-able?  It's nice to know that I will not likely be in the dating pool again....

I didn't know what to say today ...until.

 

As many of my readers know, I like to shop for clothes from Universal Standard.  Many of their styles do not work for me.  But when they do, I jump on them when I have the funds to do so.  Last night, I received an email advertising their upcoming sample sale - and made it a point to go.

Later in the evening, I called RQS (as I normally do at day's end) and mentioned the sale.  It looks like I'll be traveling down to NYC to meet her and do some shopping.  Whether or not I end up buying anything isn't that important.  Instead, it is the chance to go shopping and examine the styles in-person, to see if they work for me or not.

- - - - - -

I'm lucky to be able to share this activity with RQS.  She is a doll.  I never could have done this with XGFJ.  But then, it's been almost 4 years since XGFJ and I broke up, and I'll bet that I'm just a shadow of a memory to her these days.  Then, there is FCP.  I think of her now and then, but the loss of that friendship has lost its sting.

Lovers and friendships may come and go.  But memories can be forever.  Lately, I've been eliminating excess stuff from my apartment, and some of the things I've been pruning are related to my late wife. The other day, I wondered whether I should toss out a music box that came to my apartment when my wife moved in, and remained long after she died.  Do I want 12 place settings and some 100+ y/o etched glassware?  It's hard to decide what to keep and how to eliminate some of the stuff that may have real value.

So, it may have been a blessing that I've been forced to clean up my place, in order for the electricians have access to my electric outlets.  I can get stuff out of the way, and then get rid of the excess as I have the chance to sort through the boxes.

I misplaced my wallet, and I got scared.

 

I've had friends who have been robbed.  I've had friends who have been pick-pocketed.  And I've had friends who have lost or misplaced their wallets.  Consider me one of those who have temporarily lost a wallet, only to find out that it fell out of my trousers in a safe place.

- - - - - -

Today, I started off by taking care of some laundry that had piled up, and paid some bills.  After a couple of days spent presenting as a male, I felt that it was time to get back into a dress and go out as my authentic self.  So I looked for my wallet, in order to transfer my ID from the male wallet I was using to the female wallet I intended to use.  And then a mild feeling of panic came over me.  Could I have accidentally left it at the buffet last night?  Could it have fallen out of my pocket when getting out of the car?  Where could it have gone?  Will I have to contact DMV, my car insurance company, and my credit card companies to get replacements for what I usually carry?  

Luckily, all of this worry was for naught.  When I came up from doing the laundry, I was in male mode and my wallet was in my back pocket.  After checking all of the places where I might have put the wallet, I ran out to the car and found nothing.  At this point, I felt that I was in for an excruciating time, as I would need to start the process of replacing the contents of my wallet.  But I was in luck.  My wallet had fallen next to the toilet.  (Yecch!  Lysol, please!)

Now, I have made sure that the wallet is in a safe place, and I am ready to go out as Marian....

Preparing to finish up the electrical work

 

This is how I'd like to stay on a Monday morning - comfortable in my bed, catching a couple more hours of sleep after the sun has come up.  But this will not be the case, as I will have to wake up and get dressed as Mario, and then move furniture around while the electricians finish up their work in this apartment.

The first go-round with the electricians wasn't as bad as I thought.  Yes, I moved a lot of furniture and sweated because they didn't turn on the AC when they could have.  But, it was over in less than two hours. And I see a way, that with a small amount of effort on my part, that they could be out of my place in less than an hour.  That will leave me the time to meet with TCL for a long delayed lunch, and maybe have time in the evening to do something else.

There has been a benefit to all of this work.  I've been forced to clean up my place enough to get access to all of my electrical outlets.  Next, I will need to get things clean enough to have visitors (other than girlfriends) come to this apartment for the first time in years.

- - - - - -

 

Now that I can see this apartment's progress towards being a welcoming place to have guests, it is time for me to look at buying a new sofa.  I have the sofa picked out, and I'm waiting for the expected Labor Day sale.  After trying out this sofa on 3 visits to the furniture store, I will be in Mario mode when I eventually purchase it.  

Once I've purchased the sofa, I'm looking at buying a new coffee table.  Gradually, I want to make my living room a place where I can be proud to have my friends visit if invited.  Yet, there's a part of me that would rather get together outside of the house, as I'm so used to NOT having people over here.

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After 40 years in one place, one accumulates a lot of unused stuff.  The Swedes have a word for what I'm doing: Döstädning, which means "death cleaning."  It is not a morbid concept.  Instead, it is a way of justifying the removal of clutter from a person's abode, so that the person can live a more happy life. I also like the Danish concept of Hygge, Pronounced "hoo-ga," this Danish concept cannot be translated to one single word but encompasses a feeling of cozy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life.  Recently, I have learned that the Swedes have a word for something I've striven for. Lagom is a Swedish word that roughly translates to "just the right amount" in English. Pronounced 'lar-gohm,' this term is more about frugality and striking a balance in your daily life between work and relaxation.

Throughout my 40-year career in technology, I found that I was living a life out of balance, a life that was not cozy, and a life that isolated me from others.  Now that I'm retired, I've found that I want something more out of the rest of my life - a connection to others, a feeling of comfort when at home, and being comfortable in my own skin.  In short, I want just the right amount of the things I enjoy in life, so that the rest of my life will be more enjoyable than the years before.

I tell people that it's not who has the most things when s/he dies wins.  Instead, it is who has the most rewarding experiences when s/he dies wins.  One can't take things into the afterlife (unless one is an Egyptian Pharaoh.)  But one can enjoy life to the fullest.  And if there is something afterward, those experiences will be what makes us rich.

Less is More

Lately, I've been driven to gradually eliminate clutter from my apartment to make room for the electricians to work on my electrical outlets and switches.   As a result, there is a great improvement on how the apartment looks, and a higher likelihood that I will again have a cleaning lady make regular visits to the apartment.

Looking at the above two pictures, you can easily see an improvement in the appearance of the area around my loveseat. Still, the work is far from done.  I now need to clean up more clutter in my bedroom, and then make room in my downstairs storage compartment to hold stuff that I use on a regular basis.  I'd consider storing containers with out-of-season clothing in this compartment, along with large packages of consumables (i.e. Paper Towels, Toilet Paper, etc.) that need not be kept in the apartment proper.

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I liken this process to answering the question:

How do you eat an elephant?

The answer given is:

One bite at a time.

That's the philosophy that RQS and I have been taking with cleaning out our respective apartments.  Both of us are dealing with the emotional value of objects.  With RQS, it is furniture and glassware inherited from family members.  With me, it is furniture and glassware inherited from my late wife, as well as some items gifted to me years ago.

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This evening, I watched a YouTube video on how to tell if you have too much stuff.  I'd say that most people of my generation have had to deal with this problem.  This has been a problem of mine for years now, and I feel that I must attack it while I'm still healthy enough to do so.  In the past 12 months, I must have donated 8-10 large bags filled with unwanted items and clothes and delivered them to a nearby donation center.  I have also given away 6+ boxes of unwanted books to a local library's thrift shop.  And I'm not done yet.

Part of decluttering is to provide temporary organization to the things one wants to keep, so that space can be made to hold things that are to be given away or trashed.  Once enough space is available, one removes the scaffolding of the temporary organization, and repeats the process until enough clutter has been eliminated to make a home feel comfortable again.  In my case, I have also taken on a philosophy that old things that are needed, but no longer are comfortable or reliable (i.e. worn out sofas and mattresses, and TVs that no longer work properly) should be replaced as needed to create a more comfortable living space. This means that I will be improving what's left in my home.

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Hopefully, in a few months or so, I will have a place that I will feel comfortable having guests in again. Until then, it will be a process of pruning what I own to a level where I consider the apartment a home, and not just a cramped nest....

The Electricians were here today....

 

It was 11:30, and the electricians left the apartment, with an appointment to come again next Monday for the next round of headaches.  But things didn't go as bad as expected, as moving a couple of things resulted in a better apartment.

But first....

RQS and I usually get up around 10:30 when she's here.  Today, both of us were up around 7:30, so that we could be showered and dressed by 9:00 am.  The electricians were waiting outside at 9:00 am sharp, and had turned off all the power in the apartment by 9:05 - not giving RQS a chance to get acclimated to anything.  (She made the minor mistake of opening the refrigerator door once to get milk for her coffee, and this was the only time I got slightly upset - no power meant no refrigeration, and I didn't want the contents of the refrigerator to get warm.)  By 9:15, I was moving both boxes and furniture, so that the electricians could rewire the outlets and switches.

What was being done, you may be asking - and why?

When these apartments were built, virtually all the interior wiring was aluminum based.  Over the years, it was shown that aluminum wiring could cause a fire, and that special connectors had to be used, so that the wiring in our buildings wouldn't be a fire hazard.  Although it is a low risk, our bank required that we do this work in order to get our mortgage refinanced.  This is for good reason.  A fire in a building adjacent to our complex may have been caused by wiring issues. So we chose this month to deal with this issue.

I knew that this would be a headache for many of us, and I made sure that people knew that many of the seniors living here may need help moving things out of the way.  (I did, and I still have most of my body mass and muscle strength.)  So, when the electricians started work on the refrigerator and stove circuits, both appliances had to be moved out of the way.  (The area behind the refrigerator is quite grungy, and I'll hate it if I ever need to clean the linoleum back there.)  Once done, the refrigerator was pushed back into place, and voila!, the refrigerator was now level.  I no longer have to play games to take care of this.  Instead, I now have to figure out why the door won't close completely.  (But that's another story for another day.)  

Midway through the work, the owner of the electrical company came by, and I made sure to compliment the two fellows who worked on the place.  However, the boss wondered why these fellows didn't turn on the AC once the breaker box was serviced, only leaving circuits meant to be dead as dead.  (I wondered why as well, as it was as warm in here as in the NYC subway today.)  Within 90 minutes, at least 10 outlets and 6 light switches were rewired.  Only 3 outlets are left, and they will be done on 2 different days.

Once the 2 guys left, it was time to relax before taking RQS to the train station.  Although I still had a lot to do at the end of the day, I no longer worry about how disruptive this work would prove to be....

With 4 indictments, you get egg roll.

 

As I started writing this entry, our ex-president has just had his 4th criminal indictment.  My friends know how happy I am to see this, as this man has no empathy for his fellow human being.  Like the late, great Dame Edna, they'd both say that "it's all about me."  Unlike Dame Edna, the ex-president is a malicious and corrupt grifter.

If one is a "Conservative" by today's standards, one dispenses with the rule of law and order when their side breaks the law.  In the case of our former president, most GOP politicians defend our 45th president because they are afraid of his supporters.  The ex-president is the leader of a cult, and he is an expert at leading it.  The "sane" members of the GOP fear this cult, and go out of their ways to avoid its ire.

Unfortunately, the names of the Grand Jurors who indicted the ex-president and his henchmen on RICO charges are public record.  This means that it is likely that they will be "punished" for indicting the leader of the cult.  This is a shame.  All jurors (Grand and Trial) should not have their names published in the public record.  Sadly, in Georgia, Grand Jurors' names and addresses are on the public record, and in this case, puts these people at risk.  Don't be surprised if some cult member attacks one of the 23 grand jurors on the case at some time in the near future.

And now the "fun" begins.

I expect to see the prosecuting attorneys all fighting to get their cases on the docket in ways that the individual trials don't conflict with each other.  The Federal trials will not be on TV.  But Georgia's might be.  We need for the public to see everything, so that there is no chance to say the ex-president and his cronies were railroaded.  We need for people to see that justice was fair, and based on all credible evidence.  Hopefully, something will allow this to happen.

But what happens before, during, and after a fair trial?

Many people who are part of the MAGA cult have given up on classic American principles.  They feel that the elite live under different rules than the rest of us do, and they are right to some degree.  Clinton lied under oath when referring to Monica Lewinsky, and no one from the Democratic party stood up to say that a felony was committed and that he should be disciplined (or impeached, then removed from office).  Because his wife stood by him, she got one of two choice US Senate nominations and easily won the vacant seat.  People in this class were told that globalization would bring them more and better work, and instead were put on the dole in states where no new work was to be found.  Can you blame them for supporting a cult leader, when he says the very things the masses want to hear - even if easily proven untrue?

Since many in this cult no longer believe that we have the rule of law, nor do they believe that we have fair elections, they feel that it is OK to use violence to achieve their ends - nothing else has worked for them.  What will happen to the jurors who indicted their leader?  I'm afraid to find out the answer to that question. I'm even more afraid of what will happen during the trial, and after a possible conviction.  Could you imagine what would happen if this man and his henchmen are sent to prison - as they likely deserve?

I'm afraid for America.  Very afraid.... 

 

 

 

PS: MAGA Lunatics have published the names and addresses of the Grand Jurors, so that they can extract their revenge.  Let's hope that they can stay safe from harm.