I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....

 

Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes it eats you.

 

RQS was up here for the weekend, and we decided to visit the Norman Rockwell museum in Massachusetts.  I made the mistake of taking my least favorite road, the Taconic State Parkway, and got "rewarded" for my efforts - I fed the "Bear".  Yup, a "Smokey" nailed me.  This was my first ticket in years, and I will be paying for it!  AARGH!

But asides the assassination, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

I was surprised when RQS suggested that I spend the day as Marian, and we had a great time (ticket, not withstanding.)   She had never been at this museum before, and it was nice to be able to spend an hour looking at Rockwell's work. Getting ticket is an awkward feeling at best, and I was in female presentation at the time.  I was glad that the officer treated me with respect (he has likely seen everything in his line of work), and I was on my way with a minimum of wasted time.  

On the way home, we took slower moving roads, and ended up in Dover Plains, NY where we stopped into a local ice cream shop before it closed for the season. Yum!  If you're ever up in this area when the weather is warm, go visit them.  For me, it's a must stop when I'm driving on Route 22....

Lost and found

In the run up to my upcoming Hawaii trip, I have been buying things that I can use on my earlier cruises and on my upcoming Hawaii cruise.  So far, I have been already able to use a few of these items, the cruise power strip which has NO surge protector.  The Tile Item Locator proved its value on my recent cruise, as it saved a lot of time for me in locating my luggage at the pier.  And we enjoyed having the motion sensitive night light available when our cabin was dark.  Yet, there are still some items that I haven't used yet, one of them I almost bought again....

To prepare for Hawaii, I have started "packing" some of the above items, to make it easier when I have to load everything into my suitcases for the trip.  One of these items is the black carry case above, in which I plan to store a cell phone charger (with cable), a wired set of ear buds and a few other electronic gizmos. And it is this item that got lost in my apartment.

I've been looking for this carry case for a while, as it vanished without a trace.  No matter whee I looked, I couldn't find it in the several weeks since I first put stuff inside of it.  Since I would need these items when I traveled, it made sense for me to order replacements before my Hawaii trip.  But as luck would have it, they mysteriously appeared in the dark cavern between my mattress and the foot-board of my bed.

The moral of this story:  “Everyone has a photographic memory, some people don’t always have film!”

Supply chain issues strike again.

 

I depend on this product to keep my falsies in place while I go out and about as Marian.  Recently, I decided to place an order from my usual supplier, and found that they are out of stock.  This has not been the case in the previous times I wanted to place an order, so I asked the vendor what was up - and it was a supply chain issue.  They expected a new product delivery in the next few weeks, and that I would be able to place an order when their product is in house.

Although I will go back to this supplier, I decided to check out other suppliers.  And I found out that the other suppliers of breast form tapes supply an inferior product for my needs.  There is only one other supplier of breast form tapes (sold through multiple outlets), and I'd have to use 2 or 3 tapes instead of 1 to keep my falsies in place.

This is a supply chain problem typical of a niche product, and typical of many problems affecting our nation's supply chains today.  I feel that we have at least another year of these supply chain hiccups to go. Hopefully, we'll experience fewer and fewer of these hiccups, as things get back to a new normal.

Now, I have an idea of what to give two kids for Xmas

Every year, I've bought something for the two children of my game night hosts.  This year is the same, except that I have much less time to do so due to my upcoming trip to Hawaii.  Yet, I have an idea of what to give them now, and will be ordering their gifts before the holidays.

It's nice to have people to whom I give gifts, to share with.  I had an insurance policy from a fraternal benefit society which wouldn't allow me to designate these two children the secondary beneficiaries of this policy.  So I'll look to leave these kids a little something in my will, and hope that nothing happens to me anytime soon.

- - - - - -

My year-end Hawaii trip keeps coming nearer and nearer.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I have to make sure that I have all the little things needed for this trip, and have been an active customer of Amazon since the day I was irrevocably financially committed to this trip. Since this is a bucket list trip, I will be sure to get lots of photos of the trip and make some sort of travelog for it.

Although I intend to travel with RQS, I have a good feeling that it will be hard for her to keep up with me due to financial reasons. This is a reasonable believe, based on our previous careers.  So, if I'm going to be doing a bit of travel, I will need a profitable line of business to pay for it.  I have some ideas of how I will achieve this, but will avoid talking about it for now.

By the end of the year, I will have taken two bucket list trips, and plan to take more in the next few years.  Having checked off Alaska and Hawaii, I'll have to go much further afield for my next bucket list trip.  I'm hoping that I can check off more than one of my destinations with one trip.  But this takes time and money.  For example, there is a cruise that will spend 6 days in Iceland, plus several more days in the Norwegian Fjords.  One problem: This is one expensive 35 day cruise!  So I will likely need to be more realistic in how I check off items on my bucket list.  I could spend a week in London with my niece, then sail back to New York on the Queen Mary 2.  This is expensive, but a realistic way to do things.

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be able to check off another item on my bucket list.

 

It's amazing how 3 years of time changed things.

 

It's hard to believe that it's been 3 years since XGFJ broke up with me. Unlike FCP, XGFJ is not angry with me, and this is a good thing.  Although FCP was at the wedding of XGFJ's son, this friendship was not meant to last long.  They only thing they had in common was me, and that was not a good enough connection for 2 people to maintain a friendship.  (I won't go into details about what each of these 2 people said about each other, but what they did say gave me the information I needed to find a sense of closure to the ending of both relationships.)

Sometimes, I find myself thinking about my past and the mistakes I made with XGFJ.  Yet, they were unavoidable - people have to effectively communicate their wants and needs in a relationship to get them.  Goodwill breaks down when effective communication doesn't occur.  Right now, XGFJ and I have goodwill, though our relationship has ended.  I can't say the same for FCP, as she can never forgive me for exposing too many of her inner feelings to the outside world.  Nor can I give her a hall pass for yelling at me, when calmer communication would have given her what she wanted much quicker and with fewer headaches.  

But I digress....

Since the end of these relationships, I have been able to establish a friendly communications channel with XGFJ.  Recently, she sent me a message that she was finally enjoying her long planned (and postponed) vacation in Greece. Although Greece is not a place I have on my bucket list, I might have gone with her if we were still in a relationship and we were able to include each other in activities with our friends.  Hopefully, the rest of her trip will go well, as I expect that we will be out of touch until I get back from Hawaii.

Rebuilding a social network takes time, especially after a pandemic.  I'm at the stage where I have to pick and choose who I want to see and how I spend my money to be with them.  Obviously, RQS is my highest priority.  I still see FH when our schedules permit.  But that's not often anymore. I'm still in loose contact with MWL, but we don't have much to say to each other either.  Although I still go to meetups, they are not as important to me as they used to be.

In many ways (but not all), RQS has it better than I do.  She is confident in herself, and actively pursues things that nurture her.  She keeps busy with her hobbies, and still finds time to be with me - as if I'm one of the (formerly) missing pieces in her life's puzzle.  It's a good thing for both of us that we have a relationship, and I hope it keeps growing as time goes on.  

Yet, I still wonder....  Will I ever need to rebuild my connections again?  And if so, will it be possible, given my age at the time?

Does "Marketing" pay enough attention to the emails it sends out?

I just received a pre-cruise email from NCL regarding my upcoming Hawaii cruise on the Pride of America.  If one didn't know anything, you'd think that there was nothing wrong about this email.  But you'd be wrong.  Can you guess what I'm talking about from the above sample?

- - - - - -

My girlfriend (RQS) and I do a lot of internet surfing for information pertaining to the cruise industry, searching for affordable fares and destinations.  My Hawaii cruise is not one of these cruises.  I booked the cruise long before we got serious with each other, the source of much of my information about the cruisetour being MWL.  She noted that there was no casino on this ship, as it is American flagged, sailing solely in Hawaiian waters.  So, I found it strange that NCL would send out a generic notice from their "Casinos at Sea" department, when there is no casino on that ship to enjoy when at sea.

Luckily, it is a reminder for people to start booking their specialty dining and their shore excursions before getting on the ship.  For most people, this is the first opportunity to do pre-cruise booking.  For people with a high enough loyalty status, they could start booking things 4 months before the cruise.  In my case, I made Platinum status on my first Canada/New England cruise, and couldn't start booking things for Hawaii until the day after I got back from the cruise - and many of the pre-cruise reservations were no longer available for booking.  (At least, I should be able to get this fixed once I am on the ship.  But that's another story for another day.)

Given that I don't like making too many "donations" to any ship casino, I won't miss the "action" on my Hawaii cruise, nor will I miss passing by a de-facto smoking area.  This is likely to be one of the more expensive cruises I will ever take, and I hope that it is also one of the more enjoyable cruises I will ever take as well.