I saw a friend today, oh boy...

 

When I coined this entry's title, I was thinking of writing a little poem along the lines of "A Day in the Life".  But I realized that nothing I could write could match Weird Al's wordsmithing. Since I liked the title, I figured that I'd stay with it.

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After work, I had only one thing on my docket - dinner with LK.  So, I rushed over to Rockland County after work and arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes early.  To kill time, I stopped into a drug store and picked up some face powder and a nail clipper.  And then I took a seat in the restaurant.

Shortly after I sat down, LK arrived.  And then we talked as if the year that had just past was like only a single night.  I was glad to find out that she has a new boyfriend.  She deserves someone good in her life.  And we started to tell each other the latest news in our lives. Both of us felt there was one thing missing - KOL, her former clinical supervisor.  So, before we left, LK invited KOL to dinner in 2 weeks.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this happens....

Once we were done with dinner, I bid LK a fond adieu and drove to the nearby Walmart.  I needed some new underwear, and they have the one brand I have found to keep a certain part of me properly tucked away.  (The last thing I need is to stand at attention when I'm not supposed to be able to stand at all.) Then it was time to go home and rest for the evening....

The big thing of the day was a trip into NYC for dinner with a new friend.

 

It's hard to believe how empty Grand Central Terminal is these days.  It was the first time at GCT in over a year, and things have really changed due to the pandemic.  If I didn't know better, I might have thought things were "normal" based on how everything felt when I arrived.  Things felt too comfortable for comfort.  None of the usual crowds were milling about the terminal.  None of the food stands and news stands I usually counted on seemed to be open - as if they closed the terminal after rush hour ended.  And most of all, the relative quiet of the place compared to the old normal.

- - - - - -

I spent the whole work day in my usual tunic and trouser garments.  However, I was prepared for the evening, as I had pantyhose on underneath.  This way, I could change into my dress without the time consuming headache of donning hosiery when I needed the time for something else.  And I did need the extra time before catching the train into NYC, as I couldn't find my favorite scarf.  Why did I look for the scarf?  50 mph wind gusts.  The last thing I needed was for my hair to look shitty when meeting someone in person for the first time.

Luckily, I was able to make it to the local train station with a few minutes to spare.  While waiting, I noticed that Metro North was preparing a new platform to serve a track not accessible from the original platform.  (It looks like a temporary platform to me, but they could make it permanent in the future.)  The train came a minute afterward, and I was n my way into the city.

Arriving at the terminal, my first destination was an ATM.  However, Chase had moved its ATMs out of Grand Central and the closest Chase ATM was at a branch across the street.  (I was lucky to arrive 15 minutes early, as I needed the extra time to get some money.)  I was surprised when I found that the machine dispensed a $100 bill.  That C-Note won't be spent any time soon.  A few minutes later, I met my new friend and we walked to the restaurant. 

My friend realized that this restaurant was a different one than she expected to go to, but we had a pleasant meal.  Around 9:00, we walked back to GCT and we said our goodbyes.  Hopefully, she'll be interested in a friendship. If not, it was a nice evening with someone new.

A quick note: A box is on its way.

Today was the only day this week that I was in my male presentation.  As long as I see FH, I feel she needs Mario in her life, and not Marian.  And today gave me proof that FH is not the right person for me.

- - - - - -

The day started by me waking up early in the morning.  Since I didn't want to ruin my rest, I took care of necessities and went back to bed for a couple of hours.  Then, it was time to do a load of laundry, so that I could have some clothes for the coming week.  Since the clothes were in the laundry for the next hour, I ran to the post office to send a card to my niece in England.  While there, I saw the above box - perfect to send a backscratcher to my friend, Stephanie, in the Dallas, TX area.  

The running comment in our Zoom meetings is that Stephanie is always using some kind of tool to scratch her back, and never getting it just right.  So I said that I'd send her a backscratcher one day.  Today looked like it was going to be that day, now that I found the box at the post office. About 90 minutes later, my clothes were in the laundry basket, the backscratcher in the box, and I was headed out the door to FH's place.  After 5 minutes at the post office, I was on my way to Forest Hills to pick her up for a late lunch/early dinner.

FH is always a little picky about the clock.  If I'm running late, she'll text me to find out where I am - even though I shouldn't be texting while driving.  Luckily, I have found places where I could text her back safely without causing an accident.  But I'll need to tell her to call me instead, as I shouldn't have to look for a place to pull over to text her safely. After I got to her place, we made a trip to the local stationery store, so that she could get some needed supplies for her visit to her office the next morning.  (She works a Sunday-Thursday schedule.) Then it was off to a nearby outdoor mall to do some shopping and to eat afterward.

This is where I found out that we don't communicate well enough to be more than just friends.  The GPS took us to the site of the mall, but didn't give us an idea of where the restaurant was inside the mall.  So I made a couple of misjudgements regarding where to park, and she was only making things worse with her comments. Instead of noticing I was a little frustrated and needing the mental horsepower to figure things out in a place where I was unfamiliar, she kept commenting on not knowing where the restaurant was, and how far she might have to walk to get where she wanted to be.  I ended up raising my voice a little, but not shouting out of control, asking her to be quiet for a second, so I can keep my perspective on things - something she didn't know how to do.  Eventually, I figured out what I needed to figure out, and got us to a centrally located parking lot in this complex.

After doing a little shopping, FH and I went to the restaurant and were told that we'd have to wait an hour for a table.  This was not good enough for either of us, so we left - and then left the mall to eat elsewhere.  (FH was a little annoyed at the fellow who told us we'd have to wait an hour, vs. telling the next group that it was a 45-60 minute wait.  Big Deal.  Maybe he's dealt with this group before and coddles them a little.  But the difference in messaging and her reaction to that told me a lot about FH.  And then, when the fellow said that there is no in-restaurant waiting area, she ignored that until he mentioned it again.)  Eventually, we made it to a Middle Eastern joint in Ridgewood for dinner.  Then, it was back to her place to drop her off.  (This was not one of our best days.)  

Where the Ex complained too little, FH complains a little too much.  I'm still looking for a happy median.  Hopefully, I'll find one soon.  Life is too short not to have someone special to care for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS: I had to chuckle after scanning the selections on one dating website.  Someone who blocked me from a meetup group (not talking of the ex) is dating and her profile showed on my feed. I certainly would never consider someone like her for many reasons....

Commenting on a conversation with Vicki

 

As many of my readers know, I have a job that can be done by a trained monkey for peanuts.  Since they already pay peanuts to us humans anyway, it isn't worth the personnel costs to switch over to a non-human labor force.  Nor do they want to deal with PETA for the mistreatment of animals....

- - - - - -

A job like I have doesn't call for much mental horsepower.  This means I have way too much time to think, and the wrong things have been occupying my headspace.  So I have to work on changing things as much as possible. And that may mean that I will have to look for a new job sooner than I'd like to do so.

This was not the most comfortable conversation I've had with Vicki, as she had more anger than I have had regarding events of the past year.  In certain ways, it feels like I'm being gaslighted because some of my observations and comments in conversations with another person are not triggering a response acknowledging some responsibility for mutual problems. Vicki notices that, and will not let go of her anger towards this person.  At least, I know that I can always count on Vicki to tell me the truth as she sees it - and we've never been in the sort of ambiguous situation where logic would imply one thing, but facts presented would imply something else. 

Eventually, she will move from her current home, and I will miss her dearly.  This date will come way too soon....

Thursday - the end of the week is in sight!

 

Some of my readers who have been to Atlantic City may recognize this glass sculpture in the lobby of one of the Casino/Hotels. It's a pretty work of art, and I enjoy looking at it whenever I visit this casino.

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You might be asking: Why did I start off talking about a casino?   It's because life is about taking chances, and I realize that I made the right move by returning to work.  Like most people, I have my problems with work.  But it's nothing a make a big deal about.  Others have it much worse than I do, and many of them feel that winning the lotto is the only way they will find success.

Most of the time, we control good parts of our own destinies. One of my friends from the online meetup group is in a FML (Fuck My Life) kind of mood, as her Texas acquaintances failed her when she needed a warm place to stay during the recent frigid weather. She hasn't received a raise in 3 years, and there is no sign that more money will be coming to anyone soon.  She misses being able to be with people, as the pandemic has reduced the foot traffic near her door.  And, all the men that have contacted her online seem to be scammers.  Why in the hell did she leave New York for Texas?  I advised my friend how to turn this pandemic into a goose that can lay a golden egg. Her boss made promises to her that aren't being kept.  With Trump's tariffs on Chinese manufactured goods, and layoffs related to the pandemic, my friend can claim that her boss has not been able to keep her promises to help my friend develop move valuable skills.  She can tap into a prospective employer that once reached out to her (via a headhunter) and do a cold call, asking to be considered for work when they begin hiring again.  (The prospective employer is out of state in a tourist dependent area, so they won't be hiring until Autumn at best.  But she could be on the top of his list of people to talk to.)  She has options she never thought of, many of which can help her get more control of her destiny if wise choices are made.

As for me, I wanted to get out of the zoom meetup early.  I had dinner to cook, and each minute in the meeting was a minute away from the oven and from dinner.  Yet, I was very glad I could help her, as it was my turn to pay some stuff forward today....

 

 

Dinner with Vicki

 

Today's entry is a short one, as I don't have much time to write....

Now that I work 5 days per week, I don't have much time to get things done.  So, I have to take care of my errands at night and on weekends the way the majority of people do in this world.  It is a shock to me, as I haven't had to live according to a "normal" schedule for years. Yet, I plan to adjust to my new normal for a while to earn a few dollars and bulk up my bank account.

When the day began, I took it easy for a while.  I sent a message to Vicki and suggested getting together. And she had the time to do so - today.  Since I didn't expect that she'd be available until later in the week, I adjusted my plans for the day and scheduled dinner at a Mexican joint that I've gone to several times before.

I took care of little things such as laundry during the day, and finally got around to changing the sheets on my bed.  (Don't ask how long they've been on the bed.  Often, there is a pile of stuff on the side of the bed where a partner used to lay, and it gets in the way of me changing the sheets.)  And then, I changed into Marian mode for dinner.

Dinner with Vicki was nice.  But it was more expensive than expected.  It seems as if we're seeing inflation hit the restaurants that are surviving the pandemic.  In suburbia, limiting restaurants to 50% capacity has forced these establishments to raise prices subtly to help them cover their costs.  In today's case, a dinner which we expected could cost us $40-$50 each cost us $70 each.  Assuming that this is part of a trend, I expect that we will see fewer people being able to afford to dine out at the end of the pandemic, as the fewer surviving restaurants will be able to charge higher prices to the fewer people who are able to pay those prices to eat out.

Three Dogs and a Dinner

 

Well, I started off the day with scheduling issues, and things got worse from there.  No, not "worse" in the meaning of getting closer to a train wreck that's going to happen. But worse, in the idea that things had to drop so I could have dinner with a friend.

- - - - - - 

I don't get the chance to see my friend Maria up in the Kingston area.  She's the type of friend who accepts me as Marian or as Mario - and has always been good to me in the short time that I've known her.  So, when she invited me for dinner, I knew I was going to drop several balls. First, I was likely to be late in calling FH to confirm our plans for tomorrow. Second, I was not going to be able to make my Zoom meeting with my Texas friends.  Lastly, I was likely to be late to chat with a new online friend in Wappinger's Falls. It was worth the schedule disruption to have dinner.

Maria's house is in an old section of town.  Her house was built with materials you can't get anymore: 12" wide wood plank floors, exposed wood crossbeams supporting the upper floor, stone outer walls, and other things that I can't remember off hand.  From what she told me, the house was started in the 1700's, and expanded at least twice in the 1800's.  It's one of those old houses on which one should do as few alterations as possible, as one doesn't know what other intermediate projects will be needed to achieve a desired result.  Yet, much of the interior looks modern because of the minor changes she made to make the place more comfortable - mostly in the kitchen and bathrooms, with new paint jobs in all of the rooms.

My original plan was to get to Maria's by 5 pm, and leave by 7.  This would allow me to attend my Zoom meeting (audio only), and then be in contact with both FH and my new online friend.  Since I was running a little late, the sun was going down when I arrived.  Once I opened the gate to her yard, I was greeted by 3 overly friendly dogs.  Maria was a little apologetic about the dogs, but I was very happy to have their attention.  (I love pets, but not the responsibility of having them.) Both dinner and our conversation lasted longer than expected.  I was glad of that, as we rarely get the chance to talk due to conflicting schedules. FH rang me at 9 sharp (she has a nasty habit of being too punctual), and I called her back around 9:30.  She showed some concern that I skipped out on my Zoom meeting to be with a friend.  But I think it's more because of the pandemic than anything else.  And she has good reasons for that.  She is less comfortable with the risks of being with people during the pandemic than I am.

Hopefully, I'll be invited back again soon.  Maria is a good cook, and it is nice to enjoy a home cooked meal now and then.  (Maybe, I'll also get to see her boyfriend one day soon.)

 

 

  

 

Is this a legal parking spot?

 

 

I'm sure that one of the (former?) readers of this blog could answer this question: If the fire hydrant is as non-functional as this, should I get ticketed for parking here?

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One of the things I've learned about New York City public street parking is that after a snow storm, people will do as little as possible to shovel out an on-street parking spot, as it will only benefit the next person to use that spot. As a result of the snow, there were fewer available spots than normal in FH's neighborhood than usual, and many of those that were left were inaccessible unless one drove a vehicle with 4 wheel drive.   Since last night seems to have been "Garbage Night" in FH's neighborhood, the refuse from the multi story buildings on both sides of the street were piled up, waiting for the sanitation department to remove at its convenience. This should make it more difficult than usual to find a parking spot. Yet, upon first arrival, I was able to get a spot within 5 minutes of arriving at her building.

Since I arrived on time, I met the doorman at FH's building as he was going on shift, and he let me in without problem.  FH was pleasantly surprised that I found a spot quickly, and even more pleasantly surprised that I could resolve a printer issue she was having before going back to the car and going out to eat.

There is a risk in going out to eat these days, but I figured that since FH didn't want to eat at home with her daughter around, that we should do something elsewhere.  Both of us knew the risks posed by doing this during the pandemic, but we decided to go out anyway.  So I drove out to Freeport, where we didn't find much of anything open.  We tried to eat at a restaurant we ate at months ago, but it was too crowded for her taste.  Then, we drove around for a little bit, and chanced another restaurant in the same area.  I won't go into all the specifics. But this choice was a bit of a mistake, as we had to change rooms because a small party started in the room where we were originally seated.

When we arrived in FH's neighborhood, there was nary a spot to be found, save the "spot" in the picture at the top of this entry.  Would you say that there is a functional fire hydrant that my car is blocking?  More importantly, would you say that I should have gotten a ticket for parking here at night, given what you could and couldn't see on the sides of the street?  I certainly don't know what a NYC court might say, but I was lucky not to be ticketed last night.  Let's hope that no one gets ticketed until this hydrant is returned to working order.

 

The end of the week is coming

One of these days, I'll color correct all the Corel stock images I have on my disk.  I enjoy putting them up on my entries now and then, as they are wonderful photos of places I've visited (or would like to visit).

- - - - - -

Today, I didn't bother leaving my apartment to do anything.  If anything, the only thing I needed to do was to attend my Thursday night Zoom meetup, and catch up on my reading.  And that's what I did.  Although I woke up around 8:30, my day didn't start until 10:00 - and I was glad of that.  I wanted to be awake when I took care of using up the milk I had in the refrigerator (which would soon start to go sour) to make pudding.  

For the most part, this trans-gal lives a hum drum life.  This evening, after my Zoom meetup, I called Vicki, and we chatted about many things.  Unlike our last call, we had an effective time limit - she had to work in the morning.  So we covered some of the subjects at hand before calling it a night.  But one thing I can say - we'll be going out for a nice dinner soon, as soon as she's fully recovered from her recent illness.

Another time that dinner was the best part of my day.

 

When I got up this morning, I found that a text message never made it to JM, and she was no longer interested in me.  This is not as bad as it sounds, as we were not in each other's social class. As Vicki said to me later in the day, her former career might have taught her skills that prevented her from developing good relationships with men.  (I won't go into this any further in this blog.) If someone wanted to drop me because of a minor screw up, then I know she would run away if she ever were to find out about Marian.

Since I didn't get enough sleep the night before, I went back to sleep and finally arose for the day around noon. For the most part, I took it easy all day until I met with Vicki around 6.  Now that Covid-19 infection rates are going up, I'm starting to get concerned about doing things such as eating indoors at a restaurant. But Vicki and I will continue to eat out, at least until Gov. Cuomo says that the infection rates in the Mid Hudson region are too high to allow indoor dining.

Vicki and I met in a restaurant near Mohegan Lake. She had bought a $100 gift coupon for $50, and wanted to go out to this steak house.  Yum!  I haven't had Prime Rib in ages.  So I went to the cash machine, picked up my weekly supply of cash, and made it to the restaurant on time.  It took a few minutes to be seated.  But I always feel good when someone addresses me as a lady.  This was an evening to feast, and we split a raw bar sampler for 1 (more than enough for 2 to share), and then had soup with our prime ribs to follow. Both of us had leftovers that we took home with us.  However, Vicki noted one thing in our conversation that I never noticed before - I now have enough volume and pitch fluidity in my voice to sound much more like a cisgender female than I did 2 years ago.  Now, my voice isn't much of a giveaway anymore.  That's a great compliment!  Those lessons at Mercy helped, as well as my 10 months at the Census bureau.

As my readers might guess, the day started off on a down note, and ended on an up note. For this, I am grateful..... 

It was a long day for me....

 

Today was a busy day for me. It was the last 8 hour day at the census.  It was a short visit with the folks from my Thursday night gaming sessions.  And it was dinner with Vicki.  By the time I got home, I was totally exhausted and unable to pay any attention to a book I was trying to read, or to the TV on in the background.

Starting off the day, I woke up before the alarm clock and proceeded to get ready for work.  This would be the last day I officially had to be on site by 7:00 am, and I knew I'd be exhausted all day. As usual, I arrived at the office a few minutes late (don't tell my boss), and proceeded to surf the web all day.

After a quick attempt at napping, I drove to Yonkers to see my game night friends for what be my only chance to see them until next spring. The visit was way too short, and if I didn't have dinner scheduled with Vicki, I'd have stayed until the sun went down. But 6:00 came way too soon, and dinner was scheduled for 7:30 in Mahopac.

Picking Vicki up around 7:00, we got to dinner on time.  However, it was a blessing that the restaurant wouldn't allow us to open the bottle of wine Vicki brought with her.  We chatted about many things over dinner, not discussing the elephant in the room: What do I do with FH and FL? How do I sort things out?  So, on the ride home, we finally chatted about that.

When we got to Vicki's house, we chatted about relationships, and I learned something about her and about myself.  Vicki has strong feelings about my ex-girlfriend, and tends to get into a lecturing session if the ex comes up.  I only wanted to reference her in context of the other two ladies, and it triggered something in Vicki.  But Vicki mentioned something in passing about someone we once knew - the fellow who introduced us said I was cheap, and the ex mentioned that in her "nastygram" to me on my birthday.  

Am I cheap?  Frugal yes, but I don't think excessively cheap.  I only wish I had a person who knew me well enough to give me honest and objective feedback.

 

I really didn't need to do a "half and half day" today

Today's entry will be a short one.  There were only two things on my docket and I don't have too much to say about either one of them.

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The first thing I had to take care of today was to get my fingerprints taken for Census Bureau employment.  Since the paperwork said that my photo might be taken, I decided to go to New Rochelle in my female presentation.  It took me a while to find the room where fingerprinting was being done and found out that the photo wasn't being taken at the moment.  So I chatted with the fellow for a few minutes, and then drove home in the rain.

When I got home, I relaxed for a little while, then changed into a masculine presentation. Around 3 pm, I walked to our co-op's "board room" and attended the business half of the meeting.  When we were done there, we adjourned to a nearby restaurant for our end-of-year dinner meeting.  This was a very pleasant gathering, and likely the last board meeting I can guarantee that I'll be there for.

Around 9 pm, I returned home to find an email from the Census Bureau in my mail box.  They forwarded me the forms I'd need to fill out before I can be onboarded.  It looks more and more likely that I'll be employed soon, working as Marian.  I can't wait!  (I only wonder what GFJ will say when I tell her the news.)

A visit to the doctor and more

Today, I had only two planned things on my plate - a visit to the doctor, and a volunteer stint at the LGBT Center.  I had already postponed my stint at Arts Westchester to Tuesday, so that I could have enough energy for the LGBT Center, and thought that this would be the end of my day.  Instead, I ended up seeing GFJ for dinner and had a mixed ending to a good day.

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Yesterday, I called my cleaning lady and arranged for her to visit my apartment today.  After 6 weeks, things were getting in need of her magic - and she said she'd be visiting this afternoon.  So I was very lucky to have a 9:30 appointment with my doctor, giving me enough time to change from my masculine presentation to my feminine presentation for the rest of the day.

The doctor's visit was booked to be my yearly physical.  Instead, it ended up being a "follow up" visit from July, as my last yearly physical was in December, not November as I had remembered.  Of course, this made the visit a quick one, and I was back in the house before 11:00 - enough time for me to change into my female presentation before going out to volunteer.

Shortly before noon, I left my apartment and took the slow road to the LGBT Center.  On the way down, I returned WDJ's call from yesterday, and we chatted for about a half hour about things I won't mention here.  And then I arrived at the LGBT Center for my weekly stint.

Today's task was simple - verify all entries on the published event calendar on Meetup against that in the center's flyer.  Catching an error or two, I fixed them without doing too much thinking.  But then, two other people came in - and they disturbed my short train of thought.  One person was an older woman who needed to talk with someone - and I was that person.  Then the other person came in, a young man, and got involved in the conversation that I was really not in the mood to have at the moment.  By the time I was finished with the event calendar, two hours had passed - and it was time to leave.

On the way home, I received a call from GFJ.  She wanted to know if I wanted to have dinner tonight.  So it was off to my apartment, then to change, and then to drive to Newburgh.  Of course, I had to change back to a male presentation for dinner before going out again.  I made it to the Flaming Wok Buffet at 7:00.  As usual, GFJ was a little late.  And for the next hour, we chatted about unimportant stuff. (One of those topics was the shutdown of my old blog and my relationship with my former travel partner.) Then, it was time to discuss "the elephant in the room" - our relationship.  Neither of us are sure where it's headed, but I figure it best to give her the time she needs to be sure of what she wants.  (I have ideas, but won't taint her decision process by mentioning them before her decision is made.)  She's a good person to have in my life.  But I have the kind of love that knows that I may have to let her go to have the happiness I want for her to have.  Hopefully, that won't need to happen.

Then, it was time to go home.  I was more alert on the way home than I was on the way to Newburgh.  That was good fortune.  I'm not sure I'd have made it home had I been as tired as I was in the afternoon.  I have mixed feelings after tonight's dinner, and so does GFJ.  But I won't let them get in the way of doing what has to be done in my life.