Dinner with Vicki - Alone

 

Tonight was the second night of the Hudson Valley Restaurant week dinner promotion, where a group of restaurants would serve fixed price dinners to show off what these restaurants can do (and get future customers as a result).  This time, the HVRW choice did not disappoint us, and I made a joke about it to one of the bus boys.  

But first....

It took the better part of an afternoon, but they finally figured out why my TPMS idiot light kept turning on.  To put it short, after resetting the car's diagnostic history, everything worked well, and the light hasn't come on since.  However, this got in the way of me getting my nails done for dinner tonight with Vicki, as I had to stay in male presentation for the better part of the day.  

Around 5 pm, I changed into a blue striped dress on which that Vicki later would pay me a compliment. Once ready for dinner, I drove over to Vicki's, and a few minutes later, we were at the Char steakhouse in Mahopac, NY.  (I knew the area well from my many trips to see FCP.  But I digress.)  It took us a while to find a parking spot, but we got lucky - the lot was overflowing when we arrived, and I snagged a spot as someone was coming out.  Since it was only a short walk to the front door, I could have left my wool coat in the car, but I decided to bring it inside with me.

I will start off by mentioning the one bad thing I could think about in regard to this restaurant. Instead of entering directly into the restaurant area where a host(ess) would greet us, then have someone show us to our table, we had to walk through the bar area, and then across part of the dining area to meet our hostess. (I don't think this is a normal setup for the restaurant, as I think they wanted to gain an extra few tables for use during HVRW.)  Once we checked in with the hostess, we were promptly seated and served both bread and water.  (Our menus also came at that time.)  A minute or two later, we placed our drink order, and took a few minutes to decide on what to have for dinner.  Vicki noticed a nice thing - within 60 seconds of my water glass being emptied, it was refilled without me having to ask for anything. Our waiter was very pleasant, and he treated me like the lady I was presenting myself as tonight. Service was efficient, friendly, polite, and professional.  Unlike our last HVRW, everything was top notch.  So, on our way out, Vicki took the time to pay a compliment to the waiter, letting him know that we appreciated his good service.

What can I say about the food?  The salads we had were delicious, as well as the strip steaks we ate (at a $6 up charge).  Although the cheesecake served was smaller than the average slice, its quality was up there with the steaks we just finished.  Would I go back there again?  Yes.  .But it will be when I have the money to spend on a good steak dinner.

On the way home, Vicki and talked of many things.  XGFJ came to mind, then FCP.  No, I won't go into the details of that part of the conversation here.  Let's just say that Vicki said that I've grown a lot in the past 4 years, and that RQS and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time for each other. In regard to RQS, Vicki mentioned that she has the best of both worlds in me, as she has Mario as a boyfriend, and Marian as a great gal pal. 

I went to the hospital today and came out with an appointment

 

I had some GI Tract issues a fewweeks ago, and I had to visit the hospital for a triage appointment to determine how soon I could schedule a procedure.  Today was that appointment.

My alarms were set to wake me up at 8 am, so that I could get myself ready to go to the hospital for a 10:30 am appointment.  (I was supposed to be there at least 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.)  When I started filling out paperwork, I noticed something I haven't seen before - not only were they showing respect to the LGBTIQ community by asking both legal and preferred names, but doing the same for biological and identified gender related questions.  Although I went to my appointment as Mario, I could have gone as Marian without any problems.  This was a very pleasant surprise.  If I didn't have another appointment later in the day which required Mario's presence, I might have wished that I knew about this policy in advance, so that I could have presented myself as I want to be seen.

15-20 minutes after I arrived, I met with the nurse practitioner who would be examining me.  I talked about my symptoms, and she told me what likely happened.  Instead of repeating a procedure done in my doctor's office, she took my description of what was done as truth, and then told me that I was about 5 years overdue for the procedure,  So it was off to the front desk to schedule my procedure, then go on my merry way.

As I left the hospital, I made 2 calls: to Vicki, so that I have transportation to/from the hospital on the day of the procedure, and to RQS, so she knew what was going on.  I guess that I'm going to be living a busy life for a while....

The days are counting down until my next trip

 

Soon, RQS and I will be on another cruise.  It'll be a short 7-day trip to Bermuda and back.  It's my first time in Bermuda, and I'm looking forward to the experience.

- - - - - -

During the reopening of post-covid travel, one of my pen pals took a pair of back to back cruises from New York to Bermuda, and loved them.  Now, it's our turn to travel there. And we're still trying to figure out what we'll do when we get there.

One of the places I want to see are the Crystal Caves.  Given the length of time we'll be in Bermuda, we plan to take public transit to reach the caves, as we've been told that the bus/ferry system is very safe and convenient.  The only catch is that public transit ends around 5 pm.  So, this led us to plan on staying near the Royal Naval Dockyard on our last day there, as we won't have to worry about getting back to the ship on time. And on our second day, we might explore their capital, Hamilton.

Although we will be on a big ship (not the one pictured above), there's a part of me that hopes that I can get RQS on a smaller ship next time, so that she can experience the more personal service offered on this class of ship.  The way things are going, it might be when I decide to go to Hawaii again.  And then, it will be as Marian, and not as Mario.

A dreary day where I had to stay in the neighborhood

 

I had 2 things I had to take care of today (Friday), and both went in directions I couldn't expect.  Both of them required me to present as a male, and I couldn't wait to get back in my dresses again.  One problem, I won't feel comfortable being in a dress until I have a wallet I am comfortable carrying again....

- - - - - -

The first thing on my docket was transferring money for the co-op, so that we could begin work on a long needed project.  However, I didn't have a good way to prove my identity without a legal ID with a picture on it.  How could I make the transfer without photo ID to prove who I am?  Well, the teller was sharp, and understood the problem.  Since my personal account is with the same bank, they could look up my cell phone number and text me.  One problem - my cell phone has problems receiving signal in some buildings.  Again, the teller came to the rescue - the bank's guest Wi-Fi.  Finally, I could make the transfer - but I made it to the wrong account.  (Guess where I am going tomorrow morning - three guesses, first two don't count.)  AARGH!

Next was waiting for the furniture delivery people to arrive and replace my old sofa.  They came on time, and found that my problem was caused by the first delivery people screwing up the setup - they couldn't plug in the final connector to get the recliner mechanism working.  But these guys did, and I didn't need a new sofa after all.

At this point, I took a nap.  

Later on, I looked for furniture sliders for carpets, but didn't find them in the stores.  Yes, I know that I should have found them.  But it's another item I'll be ordering from Amazon soon.  (It's amazing how much business I give them each month.  But it's better than dealing with Walmart.)  The one thing I'll miss about shopping is that I no longer have my (altered by me) BJ's card which listed my name as Marian and had my female image.  Sooner or later, I'll have to find a way to get a card in my female name....

Besides the asassination, how was the play?

 

After this weekend, I am not sure that I will bother with Chicago again.  Most of the trip was great, but it was book-ended by events that soured me on a lot of things.  But I will go into that after a brief reporting of our Girls Trip to Chicago.

- - - - - -

There were 4 of us scheduled to spend a long weekend in the Windy City: STX, JTX, RQS and me.  I'd be traveling in female mode for the entire trip, with only my masculine legal ID available to get me through airport security.  (More on that later.)  It would also be the first time that RQS would be taking a trip with me solely presenting as Marian.

I had packed both my suitcase and my backpack, and took a cab to to Croton Harmon station.  Well, I was so absent minded, that I left my backpack with my Chromebook in the washroom - and it was gone by the time I went back for it.  AARGH!  If I'm lucky, Metro North may find it, and then bring it to Lost and Found at Grand Central Terminal.  But to claim it, I need legal ID - of which I left a backup version (US Passport card) in that bag.  (Again, more on this later.)  So I took the cab back to my apartment, so that I could get a new supply of medicine before the trip.

The next few days with the girls was mostly uneventful.  (More on this later.)  We had a great time exploring Chicago, going to the Field Museum, the Art Institute, and Navy Pier on our first full day there, and then going to the Skydeck (Observation level at the Sears/Willis Tower), and then the Magnificent Mile on our second full day there.  After STX and JTX left for home, RQS and I went to the Rookery to see this classic building.  And that's where my troubles began.

After our Rookery tour, we went to a local place to have lunch.  That's where my wallet was stolen.  AARGH!  Instead of going to see the Money Museum at Chicago's Federal Reserve Bank, we ended up making phone calls to banks to cancel credit cards, and going to the South Side of Chicago to file a police report.

Arriving at the police station, we saw a migrant encampment completely surrounding the police station's block.  This is where I realized that having my wallet stolen is a "first world" problem.  These people have it much worse than I ever will. I couldn't avoid the children playing with the revolving door, as they didn't have much to play with.  Inside the station, people were encamped on one side of the "receiving area" while the other side had been cordoned off for police business.   

Chatting with the police officer while he was taking down my information, I found out that the area within the Loop has become a high crime area.  It is very different from the last time I was there, and even the PO has had his wallet stolen once.  So you can now see why I won't be visiting Chicago again for a while.

Today, it was time to go home.  With ALL of my ID taken by the pickpocket, I was worried about TSA airport security - and for good reason.  We checked out of our hotel room early, and got to the airport.  Although I had TSA Pre-Check privileges, for this trip, I lost them due to my missing ID.  I had to fill out a form to inform TSA that I was without ID, and then (after a minor back and forth between the TSA area and Delta's ticketing area) I had to wait again until a TSA officer was available to ask me several security questions to insure I was the person who would be flying home.  After a few minutes, this officer made a phone call, asked me some personal questions, and then I was cleared to pass through security screening - without Pre-Check privileges.  

Given a choice, I'd always go for Pre-Check (or Global Entry, if traveling internationally) to avoid the hassles of intense TSA screening.  Today, it was time to go home the way most people do.  I went through the full body scanner without my shoes, all of my bags were swabbed down for dangerous chemicals, and I had to have a full body pat down.  TSA had the grace to ask me whether I wanted a male or female to perform the pat down, and I said that it didn't matter. Once the pat down was done, I still had to wait for my bags to be processed, and after 30-45 minutes, I was ready to enter the secured area of the airport.

Once I entered the secured area, it was time to look for RQS.  And I couldn't find her.  Instead of being close to the TSA zone, she had located herself in an area where I couldn't see her.  So I proceeded to take the long walk to the gate, and wait for RQS - she'd have to pass by me to go home.  This made perfect sense, as she did find me with a little help from our cell phones.

Two hours after we boarded the plane, we landed at La Guardia airport.  And we were home before 7:15 pm.  Not bad!  But I still had to make it home.  Leaving at a little after 8:00 pm, I made perfect connections to get to Croton Harmon, and then found a cab waiting for a fare at the station.  After telling him my story, he offered to drive me home for free.  I'm glad that I didn't have to accept his generosity, as RQS had given me some money to have in my purse if needed.  But I am grateful that there are still some people in this world....

If I were a normal sized gal, I'd have an easier time packing.

 

My doctor has been telling me for years that I must lose some weight.  This has been one of the hardest things to do, given that I no longer burn off as much fat as I once did with my everyday activities.  An unfortunate byproduct of this is that my clothes take up more space in a carry-on than they should - especially in Marian mode.

Over the past few days, I have been trying to squeeze a week's worth of clothes into a single carry on bag, with any overflow going into a small backpack.  It was a little easier for me when I had a bag from Mystic Seaport which could be expanded at will.  (It was a great personal item to take on a plane.)  But I think that it migrated to RQS's place - and that I don't have it when I need it.  AARGH!

Sooner or later, I'll have to learn how to minimize what I pack.  But my makeup and toiletry kits take up a lot of precious space - something I wouldn't need if I traveled as Mario.  At least, I'll be traveling as Marian on this trip, and not needing to present as Mario for at least 7+ days.  I can finally get my nails done!!!  

Hopefully, I'll be able to drop a few pounds before next summer's trip....

I'm preparing to travel, and I'm missing things

 

Since I started to clean out the clutter in my apartment, I kept stumbling into the compression bags that I use for travel.  Today, I looked for these bags and couldn't find them.  AARGH!  I knew where things were in the old clutter.  But I don't know where things are in the new mess.

- - - - - -

Right now, my apartment has a vacant space where a sofa used to be.  Things which would normally be near the sofa have been pushed away, so that the new sofa can be put in place.  But this gets in the way of me accessing those compression bags.  In the game of Jenga, I'm caught between a rock place.  No matter what I move, I lose.  In the case of my apartment, if I move something, I will lose track of where it is.  And I am already upset that I can't find the costume jewelry I had in the bedroom that I moved as part of the electrical work done over a month ago.

Luckily, I sorted much of what I need for travel into two easy to find bags, and much of the stuff I will need for the trip is already in my "Go Bag".  But I think I will repack things when I get back from RQS's place, as I know that my backpack should be treated as a personal item.  This way, I can stash my pocketbook in the backpack (or in my carry-on) and retrieve it when I land in Chicago (or when I return to New York).  

- - - - - -

My upcoming trip will be the first one I take with RQS as Marian.  This will be a very interesting trip, as the women we're meeting in Chicago only know me as Marian, but know of Mario's existence.  Let's hope it all goes well.

Synchronization

 

After spending the weekend (mostly) as Mario, I finally got a chance to go out in the world as Marian.  First, RQS and I went for pedicures,.  And later, Vicki and I went out for dinner.  This doesn't sound like much, but....

- - - - - -

RQS has noted that by the end of the weekend, we are totally in sync with each other, and that it is hard to part.  Our arrivals at the other's house begin with a greeting, and then a period of synchronization with each other after being apart for the better part of a week.  By the end of the weekend, it seems like we can almost always have a good read on what the other is thinking and work seamlessly together.  Yet, RQS noted that I was several steps ahead of her yesterday when I shifted our pedicures into today.  Once she realized that I had to be in Mario mode to buy the sofa, all was OK.  But she would have liked a better clarification of what I was doing, to understand the whys and wherefores before things start to happen.  Today, with incomplete information from her, I realized which nail salon she wanted to go to, and made sure we went there before she had to go home.

Later on, I dropped RQS off at the train station and killed some time at BJ's before proceeding to Vicki's house.  I got there a few minutes early and texted Vicki of this, saying not to rush.  But when she got home, she wondered - did she give me the right time?  I told her that I was there early, and texted her to say she didn't need to rush.  And then, we headed off to Lefteris Gyro.

Both of us ordered the Greek Salad with Chicken - and both of us feasted.  Unlike most meals, she finished first.  She was famished!  We chatted about many things.  But when I told her about what is going on with our board and our managing agent, she started saying what to do, instead of listening to find out what was really going on.  Eventually, she caught on, seeing that our slow progress on some projects depended on one person - and understanding why things are the way they are.  (Vicki is one of the people I use for reality checks, and I know she can keep a confidence.) 

Once dinner was over, I drove Vicki home and fell out early.... 

I bought the sofa!

 

Today's post is a short one with a large purchase - I bought the sofa!

Originally, RQS and I planned to get a pedicure today.  One problem.  I would need to present as Mario to buy the sofa, and I didn't want to change back to Marian after being out all day.  So I adjusted our plans on the fly (with a comment from RQS to keep her informed on how my mind was working) and decided to spend the day as Mario for the sofa purchase, then spend tomorrow as Marian for the pedicure.

- - - - - -

Around 2:30 pm (we usually get moving slowly when we have no firm plans), we drove to Yonkers and asked for the salesman who serviced us last time.  After a little bit of waiting (he was servicing another customer at the time), he showed up and I told him that we were ready to make a deal.  He was very happy.  When I asked about the price of the sofa, he started to quote the non-discounted price of the item before (as planned) RQS brought out a copy of the online price for the same item.  Almost immediately, the price adjusted downward, and we chatted for a while on stuff other than furniture.

A little while later, RQS interrupted us, noting it was time to fill in the paperwork.  So, we proceeded over to the service desk, and finalized the deal.  On the way out, the salesman said NOT to bring along the wife next time.  (He was joking, but there was the part of me that said - the two of us work too well together, and he wanted a chance to make a higher commission.)

All in all, a good day!

I dilly dallied, and it saved me money!

 

RQS and I have visited the furniture store several times, and we've seen them selling the above sofa in the store for $2,699.  If I had bought it then, I'd  have had a net cost of roughly $3,500 after furniture delivery (and removal) charges, furniture protection add-on, and taxes.  Today, I saw the following information on the store's website for the sofa:

The $780 savings by buying now also result in an approximate $60 savings in sales taxes.  It's probably best that I drop the hammer on this sofa now than later.  However, this will likely force me to be in Mario mode one day this weekend - and I hate doing so.  But to save this kind of money, why not?  However, I now have to arrange the removal of my old sofa and the delivery of my new sofa within a 2 week period.  AARGH!  I hate deadlines, but it is something I have to deal with if I want to be sure that I can get this deal.

- - - - - -

Dilly-Dallying doesn't always save me money, but that's OK.  I've been seeing a car in my price range at a dealership 2 hours away from me.  It's almost too good to be true.  Will I jump on making a deal?  No.  I may visit and ask about the car.  But if they aren't interested in selling the car at the advertised price (without excessive markup), then the car will go to someone else.

TCL says that I am a little too frugal.  But I am careful, as I can't afford to waste funds I can't make up by earning a salary anymore.  So, it will be a hard decision for me when I finally drop the hammer and buy a new car.  At least, I'll have the money in my bank until I'm ready to spend it....

I saw an old flame tonight

No, I did not even think of reigniting the flame.  Patty is a pleasant memory, and we retained our friendship after we broke up.  And now, when I meet her, it is in Marian mode for two reasons:

• I don't want to reawaken things by presenting as a male.
• I am more comfortable meeting women in female mode, so that there is no hint of sexual interest.

Patty is comfortable with this.  And yet, I was thinking of warning her that I was going to be wearing a dress when I went to City Island to see her.  Go figure.

- - - - - -

Before we got together, Patty texted me to let me know that there was an unexpected death in her family, so that she wouldn't have to talk about it in any detail.  Yet, that was one of the first things we talked about, because she needed to tell me about it.  And then, we started catching up on what's been going on in each other's lives.

Patty grew up in a close knit family, and anything that would unravel that fabric has to hurt a bit.  This death, coupled with a family issue which I won't go into here may make things unable to be mended between Patty and a family member.  I feel sorry for her, as I think she's already read the tea leaves and sees the last chance to heal some old wounds go away.

Dinner was a little bit more expensive than I had planned.  But I had the cash ready and available tor a bill that was higher than expected.  (Moral: Don't eat the broiled fisherman's platter when a simple piece of fish will do.)  At least, I was filled to the gills, so to speak....

- - - - - -

All too soon, we had to leave.  But I suggested that we try to arrange a foursome for dinner next month, with me presenting as Mario.  Hopefully, that will happen....

Look Ma, No Cavities!

Although I don't have too much to talk about today, I must mention my visit to the dentist.  Scheduling teeth cleanings 3x/year continues to work for me, and I try to maintain this frequency as best as possible.  This visit was a month overdue, but wasn't as bad as expected.  

- - - - - -

Unlike my Internist, I visit my Dentist in female presentation.  God knows what my dentist and dental hygienist think of me, but I am always treated with respect when I go there.  Today was no different than usual.  However, there was one thing of note that I found mildly interesting....

Both times I had the opportunity to sit in the reception area, I encountered a lady waiting for her husband's dental work to be completed.  She complimented me on my dress, but I was unable to return a compliment for anything about her.  (She looked like life had beaten her up, and she came out the worse for wear.)  When she started talking about her life, she disclosed that her first husband was a drug addict, a convicted thief, and a wife beater.  And there was more that I can't recall.  Needless to say, she did the right thing in leaving this man, as she may not have lived to tell me the tale.  Add to this, she had spent some time in government custody - but only for a couple of misdemeanors.  Luckily for her, she met her current husband 14 years ago, and he finally made her "an honest woman" two weeks ago.

- - - - - -

Once done with the dentist, I took care of a couple things around the house, then took a nap.  Shortly after 6 pm, I got ready for game night and proceeded to Dunkin Donuts for some Munchkins as my contribution to the "party".  Unfortunately, somewhere between the Donut shop and my car, I lost one of the earrings that I was given by the host & hostess of game night, and that saddened me a bit.

Game night itself was inconsequential, with me losing both of the games I played.  Such is life.  I'm just glad I don't have to count on my game playing skills to make a living....

Giving away some wigs - a quick post

 

The other day, I found a couple of wigs of the style (and quality) I used to wear when I first started going out as Marian.  By the standard of wigs I wear today, these were the equivalent of cheap costume jewelry. Although the style looked good on me, I would have to replace the wig on a monthly (or even, a bi-weekly basis) to be wearing something that looks good on me.

Years ago, I started wearing inexpensive wigs that cost $60 or so.  They served my purpose way back when, but I knew I needed to wear something better.  So, I graduated to wearing wigs in the $300-$400 range, and replacing them every 6 months or so.  (I still can't believe that one of my current wigs still looks OK after 9+ months of wear.  But I will soon be using it as a backup when I take my upcoming Bahamas cruise.)  There's a part of me that would like to try a much more expensive human hair wig that costs $1,800-$2,500 or so (as once recommended by my former cruise partner, FCP), but I am uncomfortable spending that kind of money on a wig when my face still looks relatively masculine - even with properly applied makeup.

What might the big deal be in regard to the human hair wig?  To answer this, one has to understand the psychology of the largest group of consumers (in the New York Area) for human hair wigs - the ultra orthodox Jewish women whose faith prohibits them from showing their real hair in public.  To get around this, they wear wigs in place of their own human hair as a way to skirt around laws of their faith. (Don't get me started about their Eruvs.)  FCP came from such a tradition, and wanted me to upgrade my look.  But, I realized that it made more sense to be able to replace my wigs in the same way that women might try new hair styles and colors until they get one that works - then stick with it for a while.

Right now, I have 4 unworn wigs in my closet, and will be taking it out to replace the oldest wig that I now wear.  Hopefully, I will be able to get as much wear out of this wig as I have its predecessor.....

 

 

 

PS: One can feel the difference between an old and new wig.  And that's how I usually determine when to retire a wig.  So keep a new one around to compare the feel between old and new wigs.  When the old one starts feeling worn out, replace it.  You'll be glad you did.

How can I get rid of bulky items?

 

After a decade of forced retirement, I've decided to replace much of the furniture in my apartment.  For example, my sofa is worn out and will be replaced soon.  I have three chests in the bedroom that I plan to replace with two new ones sometime in the next couple of years, and I will likely replace the entertainment center, coffee table and end tables in the living room as well. 

But to do this, I must figure out how to get rid of the bulky furniture.  I have several options for getting rid of the sofa, and none of them are that great, as they will cost me money.  The coffee and end tables can be taken apart for disposal.  Even the chests in the bedroom can be slid down the stairs and "walked" to the dumpster area for bulk pick up.  But the entertainment center poses a problem.  It weighs 450 pounds when empty. and it took 3 people to get it into my apartment.  I will need help getting it out of the apartment, and will likely need to pay a good price to remove it.

- - - - - -

With the above being said, there is another headache I have to deal with - annoying salespeople.  For the most part, I've found people working at furniture stores as of late to be too close to used car salesmen for comfort. All of them tend to hover around, not giving the customer enough breathing room to examine the merchandise in peace.  If you give them ANY information, they will being up the various financing terms, as well as how good their delivery process is.  But, not all of them know their product well, as was the case of one sales person we met about a month ago.  

On a hot day in July, we decided to cross the river and look at some furniture.  Entering the store, we met a fellow from the Indian subcontinent who proceeded to follow us around the store, wherever we wanted to browse.  Shortly after we mentioned what we were looking for, but after a few minutes of browsing, he tried to find an opening to sell us a mattress.  (I need a new one too, but I'm planning on going to Saatva for one designed for fat people like me. But I digress.)  When we sat on an expensive leather covered sofa, he extolled the virtues of the sofa and its construction, not knowing that we knew of another sofa made by the same people with the same frame.  He stated that this was the only one of its kind, not knowing that we knew otherwise.  He was very insistent in trying to make a sale that day, but I brushed him off.  But this wasn't the end of him.

About a week later, I got a call from the salesman.  He sounded upset that I didn't call him back to finalize a sale.  Luckily, the answering machine took the call.  In a later conversation with RQS, I stated why he wasn't going to get the sale.  First, all my credit cards are in Mario's name and I met this man in Marian mode.  But, more important, was the fact that he didn't know his merchandise well enough. We had met a second salesman, this time with me in Mario mode, and he knew his stuff.  This is the person who will get the sale when I'm ready to drop the hammer.  Again, I digress.  This morning, the first salesman woke us up, hoping that we'd answer the land line to set a date for another appointment to close the deal.  Obviously, this won't happen anytime soon....

- - - - - -

The question remains...

How will I end up getting rid of the old sofa?

Shopping as entertainment

 

One thing that many males complain about is the female style of shopping.  Males usually have a good idea of what they shop for, and go directly to what they want in a store, pick it out, bring it to the checkout counter, and leave the store shortly after they arrive.  Contrast this with the female way of shopping.  Most females will enter the store and browse.  Although they know what they want to find, they look at all the available offerings to see if there is something special that may have been overlooked, and then get to the products they wanted to look at.  It doesn't matter whether the woman buys the product or not, as it is the search that seems to count.

Although the above may be an exaggeration of how the two genders tend to approach things, the approaches may relate to our history as a hunter/gatherer species.  Given how males process visual input for moving things, it makes sense for males to focus on a specific target, hunt for it, and then "bag it" to being home to the family.  Females focus more on stationary visual input and the other senses, and this may have given them an advantage when gathering food.  The slight differences in color, smell and taste may make a big difference when gathering food, as being able to interpret the subtle differences in fruits and plants may be the difference in whether one eats poison or nutritious food.

When I started going out as a female, I retained a male way of shopping.  I knew what I wanted to buy, and didn't want to waste any time in doing so.  Now that I'm retired, my style has changed a little - especially in clothes shopping.  I'll browse through catalogs, as well as clothing racks to see if there is something that interests me, and buy things if I find them interesting enough and needed enough.  Shopping is more fun now, as I can openly enjoy using the products of my searches - especially when I'm browsing through a candy store, like the one above.

Can you imagine what I'd be like if I were a Size 18 again?

Furniture shopping - again...

 

Now that I know what I want, I have to figure out a way to get the furniture into my apartment, and get the older stuff out.  And I don't want to spend a lot of money doing this.

- - - - - -

I've been tracking the price of this sofa for a while.  The price has stayed relatively stable, as it is the store's top of the line brand for reclining sofas.  Having viewed this sofa several times as Marian, I couldn't go into any of these stores as Mario to make the deal.  So I went to a new outlet and met up with a new salesman as Mario - and he gave me the information I needed to do the deal, save one: I needed to have answers on how to get rid of the old sofa.  For this, I will need to make additional arrangements, such as calling a firm like Junkluggers to remove the old sofa.

One annoying thing I noticed was that the online price was $130 less than the in-person price for the sofa.  I'll bet that this will be negotiable with the salesperson when the time comes. Until then, I'll do my research on how to get rid of the old sofa and when to do so.  Ideally, I'll be able to get the town to dispose of it on bulk pickup day, and all I would need to do is get a couple of people to help me lug the old sofa out to the dumpster area.

Once I'm done with this, I have other things I need to do - such as buying a new coffee table. Hopefully, I'll find something I like soon.

A too short weekend with RQS

 

I've gotten spoiled.  RQS has been up here on a weekly basis, and I've enjoyed the little things she does for me - and I've told her how much I appreciate what she does for me.  Unlike my former relationships, RQS knows how I feel about her, and she's not afraid to tell me how she feels about things.  We both feel that we're fortunate to have each other in our lives.  We feel a little depressed when we have to part at the end of each weekend.

- - - - - -

Relaxation would become the theme for the weekend....  On Friday,  I was late getting to the train station to pick up RQS, and apologized  - Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!  It didn't bother too much, as we ended up going for a nice drive before dinner.  (We had to pick up groceries, etc. before I could cook....)  Once home, we had a quick dinner and then relaxed.  It was nice to be able to spend a day in Marian Mode, as for the next 3 days, I'd have to present as Mario. 

The next morning, we slept late, and then took a long drive up to Dover Plains and back, stopping in a local supermarket for some Tipsy Scoop ice cream.  Unfortunately, they had only one flavor in the freezer, Mint Chocolate Chip, but it was good enough for our purposes.  So we went home, and I prepared some ribs for dinner. (You can guess what we had for dessert - something green....)

Sunday came too quickly, and I decided to drive RQS home.  I gave her a set of TV tables (small tables often used for eating TV Dinners in front of the TV) to get them out of my house.  But first, we went to my brother's place, as he had something he wanted to take care of with me.  The 3 of us had dinner, and then it was back to his place for a few minutes.  We then went to RQS's place, where Iwas lucky to find a spot in front of her place in which I could "almost fit" my car, and then unloaded stuff before heading home.

Being alone is such a lonely thing these days.  Now that I have someone in my life who accepts me as Mario and Marian, it is a little depressing when we separate at weekend's end.    But on the whole, I consider myself lucky.  How many TG's have given up on romance because they feel no longer date-able?  It's nice to know that I will not likely be in the dating pool again....

Preparing to finish up the electrical work

 

This is how I'd like to stay on a Monday morning - comfortable in my bed, catching a couple more hours of sleep after the sun has come up.  But this will not be the case, as I will have to wake up and get dressed as Mario, and then move furniture around while the electricians finish up their work in this apartment.

The first go-round with the electricians wasn't as bad as I thought.  Yes, I moved a lot of furniture and sweated because they didn't turn on the AC when they could have.  But, it was over in less than two hours. And I see a way, that with a small amount of effort on my part, that they could be out of my place in less than an hour.  That will leave me the time to meet with TCL for a long delayed lunch, and maybe have time in the evening to do something else.

There has been a benefit to all of this work.  I've been forced to clean up my place enough to get access to all of my electrical outlets.  Next, I will need to get things clean enough to have visitors (other than girlfriends) come to this apartment for the first time in years.

- - - - - -

 

Now that I can see this apartment's progress towards being a welcoming place to have guests, it is time for me to look at buying a new sofa.  I have the sofa picked out, and I'm waiting for the expected Labor Day sale.  After trying out this sofa on 3 visits to the furniture store, I will be in Mario mode when I eventually purchase it.  

Once I've purchased the sofa, I'm looking at buying a new coffee table.  Gradually, I want to make my living room a place where I can be proud to have my friends visit if invited.  Yet, there's a part of me that would rather get together outside of the house, as I'm so used to NOT having people over here.

- - - - - -

After 40 years in one place, one accumulates a lot of unused stuff.  The Swedes have a word for what I'm doing: Döstädning, which means "death cleaning."  It is not a morbid concept.  Instead, it is a way of justifying the removal of clutter from a person's abode, so that the person can live a more happy life. I also like the Danish concept of Hygge, Pronounced "hoo-ga," this Danish concept cannot be translated to one single word but encompasses a feeling of cozy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life.  Recently, I have learned that the Swedes have a word for something I've striven for. Lagom is a Swedish word that roughly translates to "just the right amount" in English. Pronounced 'lar-gohm,' this term is more about frugality and striking a balance in your daily life between work and relaxation.

Throughout my 40-year career in technology, I found that I was living a life out of balance, a life that was not cozy, and a life that isolated me from others.  Now that I'm retired, I've found that I want something more out of the rest of my life - a connection to others, a feeling of comfort when at home, and being comfortable in my own skin.  In short, I want just the right amount of the things I enjoy in life, so that the rest of my life will be more enjoyable than the years before.

I tell people that it's not who has the most things when s/he dies wins.  Instead, it is who has the most rewarding experiences when s/he dies wins.  One can't take things into the afterlife (unless one is an Egyptian Pharaoh.)  But one can enjoy life to the fullest.  And if there is something afterward, those experiences will be what makes us rich.

Last minute preparations for the Electricians

 

My apartment, from what few pictures I've provided, is an obvious cluttered mess.  Although RQS and I have been working on getting this mess cleared out, there is still too much clutter in the way of my electrical outlets to do all the work on them at once.  This means that I will have people invading my space for several days to come.  AARGH!

It could be worse.  I have the resources to move furniture out of the way, as if I were playing a game of Jenga™.  But I will only be able to move furniture away from one wall per day (at best).  There is way too much heavy stuff (e.g.: 75 y/o file cabinets, beds, dressers) in the way of each wall outlet to get everything done in one fell swoop.

So, I expect to stay in Mario mode until this work is done. YECCH!  At least, RQS will be with me most of the first day of work.  And I will miss her when I drop her off at the station this afternoon.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Tomorrow, the handyman will come to repair the tile wall in the bathroom.  I dread this necessary headache, as it will soon be followed by electrical work that requires virtually all my furniture be moved for outlet replacement.  ARRGH!

With this looming ahead of me, I was glad to meet Vicki for dinner before she goes on her vacation.  Vicki is trying to get her health in order, so that she can have a needed medical procedure.  (And no, I won't go into any more details here.)  So, I know that getting together with me is a special occasion for her.  Over dinner, we talked about many things, and she made a comment that echoes with other people I know - they see me as the same person, no matter which gender I am presenting as at the moment.

I think that a key to understanding a transgender person is seeing that his/her soul is the same person, no matter how the person chooses to appear to the world.  Yes, there will be women who get upset at the M2F transgender person for invading "women's space". And I can understand that.  Many M2F transgender people want to carry their former male privilege into their female lives, and this can not be done and be accepted by females as equals.  Yet, I feel that the cisgender world should "get over it."  To me, being transgender is a form of intersex condition, where the brain is wired to be of one gender, but the body is programmed in utero to be the other.

The transwoman I mentioned in an earlier post has reverted to life as a cisgender, heterosexual man. And he seems to have found a new potential woman in his life.  I wish the best for them, as life for a person my age can be a struggle without the issues of being trans to complicate things.  At least, he'll be able to live a less complex life - for now.  As for me, I'll deal with my complexities as long as possible, as I have no intentions of eradicating what I've gained by being Marian from my life.