Catching up with things at home

 

Today was another do-nothing day.  I might have done a little bit of putting away stuff, but not enough to say I did much.  

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I woke up today with only one thing on my schedule - a "Tea" meetup in White Plains.  (Think of: English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and China Black, not the herb my generation also called "Tea".)  So, I lollygagged for most of the day, save for putting travel related items back in their storage bag.  When 5:00 pm came around, I showered, shaved, and dressed to go out as Marian.  As I was starting up my car, an acquaintance called to talk about many things.  (I had missed her call this weekend, as I was in-flight to JFK.  I just wonder what happened to the message I sent her, saying I was in transit.)  This kept me busy for most of the drive to the meetup.  

When I got to White Plains, I had a little problem finding the tea parlor.  But I found the place in time to have a savory danish and a serving of iced tea before we moved over to Playa Bowls next door.  Our motley crew kept up the conversation started in the tea parlor.  (One woman asked whether I had been to the LGBT center nearby, and I mentioned that they are constructing a building of their own in the heart of White Plains.  So I know that she probably read me, yet treated me as just another woman.) We talked about some of the meetup groups in Westchester, and noted that the leader of one of the groups (a leader that couldn't deal with me being transgender) was a bigot, and that her group wasn't worth being in.  (This feeling was echoed by others at the table.)  Hopefully, I will be able to meet these people again soon, as we all "clicked" together.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So I decided to make a run to Wegman's to pick up some food for the rest of the week.  Shortly after I loaded my car, I saw some lightning.  By the time I got home, it was raining hard enough to have me leave two 12-packs of soda in the car.  At least I got home safe and sound - and ready for tomorrow afternoon at the dentist....

California Vacation - Day 10 (Disembarkation & Returning to New York)

 

Last night, I put my large suitcase out for delivery to the pier upon the ship's return to LA.  This morning, I woke up unnaturally early (4:30 am PDT) and couldn't justify going back to sleep.  So I decided to shower early, finish packing for my return trip home, and go to the buffet before the crowds arrived.  And this proved to be a wise move, as I was able to eat in peace AND return to my cabin to relax before Debarkation.

Disembarkation on the Discovery Princess is a reasonably well organized affair.  A night or two before the end of the cruise, room stewards supply cruisers with luggage tags to be used for Disembarkation. Different colored tags are associated with groups of travelers.  For example, I was given Cream tags, associated with people with paid airport transfers.  Others had Brown tags, associated with people who had scheduled bus tours with airport transfers afterward.  As expected by the cruise line, I left the assigned gathering spot (the Princess Theater) at 8:20 am, and made it off the ship by 8:30 am.

Once inside the LA cruise terminal, it's a long walk to retrieve one's bags.  I figure that I must have walked a mile from the time I started my walk from the Princess Theater to the place my large suitcase was placed in the terminal.  From there, it was a short, quick walk to US Customs, where they matched my face against the photo ID I provided before the cruise.  And then, it was another long walk to the bus for my airport transfer.  Along the way, a fellow stopped me to ask which airline I was flying on, and he made sure each of my two bags were tagged with the correct terminal number at the airport.  So, by the time I got on the bus, my bags were ready to be returned to me when I reached Delta's terminal.

When I got to the airport, I retrieved my bags and proceeded to check in my bag.  With a little help from an attendant, my bag made it to check-in, and I made it to the TSA security checkpoint.  And that's where the "Fun" occurred.  Although I presented the first person with my legal ID (male, with Mario's name), when I reached the scanners, someone pressed the female button - and my genital area was flagged for inspection.  So I ended up getting a pat down by the first officer available - a female.  She was totally professional, and I was on my way into the secure zone in less than 5 minutes.

My flight home was uneventful, save that I didn't hear which luggage carousel would be used for this flight's bags.  So I was very glad that I had Delta's app on my phone - and found that my bag would come out on Carousel #12.  One problem - Where was Carousel #12?  I asked someone who told me that it was off to the side from Carousels #10 & #11.  Once I got there, I found my bag without problem, and began the long walk to the Uber stand.

For those unfamiliar with JFK airport, it is located in the middle of Jamaica Bay.  This means that it is usually uncomfortably humid.  Even with 75 degree weather, I was uncomfortable wearing leggings and a short sleeved dress.  After I reached the Uber stand, I summoned a car, and he was looking for me within 2 minutes.  Within 30 minutes, I was at RQS's house and ready to get some sleep.

California Vacation - Day 09 (Ensenada, Mexico)

 

This is as close as I got to setting foot on Mexican soil.  Last year, RQS and I reached this Port in better weather, and we decided to stay on board.  This year, I have been cruising as Marian, and I didn't want to risk the hassles of getting off the ship in a foreign land as Marian.

I didn't see my new friend this morning, and it's just as well.  This was a day where I wanted to prepare for my return trip home.  Unlike my flight to LA, I have to make sure that everything I pack in my large suitcase is not needed until I reach New York, as it must be in front of my stateroom door by 8 pm.

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Most of the day, I stayed to myself.  Looking at what I did onboard, I didn't take advantage of more than half the "freebies" included in my fare package.  Yet, I feel I got my money's worth.  Did I need the specialty desserts?  No.  Did I go to any of the casual restaurants for lunch?  Only one - the pizza joint.  And I certainly didn't take advantage of the exercise classes.  But, when I factor in the fact that virtually everything was paid for up front, the only expenses I incurred were off-ship dining and transportation.  That's not bad.

As I write this, I have yet to pick up the three 8"x10" pictures taken of me on this ship.  I will post a few in this blog over time. But my main focus over the next few hours will be packing my large suitcase and spending the remainder of my non-refundable credits before they expire.  So I doubt I'll have more to say before I leave for New York.

It's been a good trip.  But I wish I could have visited my uncle.  There's no way I can say, "better luck next year", as he is no longer with us.  So I'll sign off for now, and provide a recap with tomorrow's entry.

California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

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But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

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Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

I've finished packing, but am not ready to go....

 

I can only imagine what will happen if I forgot to pack anything important for my trip.  Right now, both my carry-on and large suitcase are virtually ready to go.  There are a couple more things that I will need to pack in the morning, such as my CPAP machine.  But I'll deal with that in the morning.

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This afternoon, I had lunch with SJM, and we talked a bit about everything.  I mentioned the tax headaches I had this year, and she mentioned her headaches in that area.  And then we got into the problems with the American medical system and how they are forcing her to make choices that she shouldn't have to make.  After that, we talked about the place where we both once worked, and noted that it was a mediocre place to work at best, that we are both better off for being out of the place.

Once I was finished with lunch, I got a mani-pedi before doing some last minute cosmetics shopping for my trip.  I can't seem to find the small perfume vials I bought a while ago, and this forces me to bring a full size bottle in my checked suitcase.  AARGH!  So many things I should have checked out a long while ago, and I didn't do so.  Such is life.

Tomorrow, I'll get dressed as a female and prepare to spend the next 10 days of my life as Marian.  It'll always feel strange presenting my legal (male) ID at the airports and at the cruise ports.  But I know from experience that TSA has no problem with this, and that the cruise line hasn't given me any problems with this in the past.

Let's hope that I haven't forgotten anything....

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On other matters, I have ordered some outfits from Universal Standard.  What bothers me is that the day after I placed the order, I got a 20% off code that I could have used for this order.  Given that I spent over $350 for 2 garments, I would have saved at least $60 had I known to wait for a couple of days.  AARGH!

Next, I placed an Amazon order for a few things I'll need when I get back from my trip, knowing that my next door neighbor will hold them until I return home.  Couple this with a Lane Bryant order I placed (two slips that I'll wear as nighties), and there will be a lot waiting for me when I get home - including credit card bills....

I've started packing, as I don't have much time left.....

 

Packing for my trips isn't always an easy thing.  Even at this late date, I might still need to pack a single day's worth of male clothing because I might be corralled into seeing my uncle's friend.  Although I doubt this will happen, I have to keep this possibility in mind.

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California weather at this time of year is similar to that of New York. But this means that I have to prepare for both cold and hot weather.  San Francisco can be quite chilly, while San Diego can be quite warm.  Yet, there are ways I plan to deal with this on a 9-10 day trip.  First, I will select basic clothing that I can wear for 2 or 3 times before needing to be washed.  Then, I will plan my auxiliary items, such as sweaters, that will allow the basics to be practical in a wider range of temperatures.

Packing for a trip as Marian has always proven to be a complicated task.  I have to make sure that I have two sets (1 pair for each day, plus 1 pair to hold my "tuck" in) of undies, 2 bras, and appropriate tops/bottoms, dresses and socks to get me through a week or more.  If I'm gone for more than a week, I have to think about washing my wig in the sink. 

As much as I'm no longer excited about taking this trip, I will take it anyway, as it is a chance to present as Marian for more than a week at a time.  It should be fun to visit Venice Beach and Santa Monica in my authentic presentation, and make my around using the mass transit available in this city....

By the time you read this, I'll have returned from a cruise

 

As most of my readers know, I write blog entries between 7 and 14 days before they are made available to my readers.  Soon, I'll be posting a record of my most recent California cruise which sails from Los Angeles to San Francisco, Avalon (Catalina Island, CA), San Diego, and Ensenada Mexico before returning to Los Angeles. When I decided on taking this cruise, I had hoped to visit my uncle in his Los Angeles nursing home.  Sadly, he died 11 days before the cruise.  Since it was way too late to cancel the cruise, I decided to go on it anyway - if only to have 9+ days in a row where I could present as Marian and not Mario.  

Right now, I plan to enjoy a full day in Los Angeles, not knowing what I'll be doing.  I've found that my cell phone has NFC, so that I can use Google Wallet to pay for trips on LA's mass transit system.  So, I won't be needing to use Ubers to get around in the daytime.  (I'll still need to use them at night, as I don't want to inadvertently travel through high crime areas after dark.)  For the times I'm near the hotel, I might bring a swimsuit, so that I can get a tan near the pool.

In many ways, San Francisco is like a second home that I stayed in for only a short while.  So, if I can, I'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes before returning to the cruise ship.  Catalina Island will be new to me, and I'm not sure of what to do there.  But, I'll be visiting RQS's cousin in San Diego.  This is something I look forward to, as this will be the first of RQS's relatives to meet me as Marian,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this trip will bring me only pleasant memories.  I'll let you know when I start writing posts upon my return.

HVRW Restaurant Week - Le Provincal w. Vicki

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant week (HVRW).  It comes twice each year, and I try to have at least one fancy dinner with Vicki each time it comes by.

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As you would expect, I usually present myself as Marian when dining with Vicki.  During HVRW, I always try to dress up a little when going to nice restaurants, and I made sure that I was wearing a nice dress with stockings (actually, tights) when she picked me up.  (I rarely present as a male when with Vicki.) Tonight's dinner was at Le Provincal, a French bistro in Mamaroneck. This is one of our go-to places for French food, but one we rarely eat at because of its normal price.  HVRW makes this place affordable to us, as we would likely spend close to $200 for a meal for two.

Vicki drives differently than I do, and this is not a criticism or compliment.  Like me, she tries to drive safely, but I noticed the differences in driving style, as I was a passenger for this trip.  Arriving in Mamaroneck, Vicki moved close to the center of the street so she could slide into a parking spot both quickly and easily.  However, some woman (Vicki used another word) decided to slide in between her and the cars to her right, stealing the spot from Vicki.  I looked at the driver, and I noticed that she was likely an immigrant from a place where cutting into lines was accepted, and that there would be no gain from arguing with a person who is that inconsiderate.  Vicki wanted to block this woman from getting to the parking spot, and I wanted to get another packing spot which would likely open up near the restaurant.  Eventually, Vicki relented, and we got a spot much closer to the restaurant than the first spot was.

Dinner was excellent (as usual), but the wait staff we expected to see was off for the night.  The dinner more than made up for the loss of the parking spot.  Sadly, dinner was over too soon, and we took the long way home to chat.  (It helped that Vicki missed my exit, and took side roads back to my place.)  All in all, this was a pleasant evening.  But next time, I'll do the driving.

 

I'm still cleaning out my old car - a quick post.

 

Right now,  my old car is sitting in my driveway.  The plates are off the car, and I'll soon be signing the paperwork needed to transfer the title to DCD.  Although I don't intend to clean out the car completely, I will take most of the next week to gradually get the rest of my crap out of the car, so that DCD can vacuum it out at his leisure.

I'll miss this car.  But I like the car I'm driving now.  It has quite a few miles before it gets mechanically old.  That's a good thing, as I don't want to have the car die on the road while I'm presenting as Marian.  (This happened with my PT Cruiser after 120k miles, and I didn't think it worth while to install a new transmission on a car that was worn out.)

In certain ways, a new car is like a new life.  Given that I have bloomed because I am out as Marian, I wanted a car that reflected my risk adverse nature and a car which I could enter and exit in a lady like fashion.  My new car allows me to do that.

Lunch with a friend was the high point of the day

 

I had three things on the docket today, and I blew one off because it looked like we'd have heavy rain in the evening. Luckily, the most important thing, lunch with my friend from the census was on, and we had a great time.

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Although I had my alarms set for 10 am, I didn't get moving until 11 am.  This meant that I only had an hour to get ready for lunch. Since this was going to be a day out as Marian, I made sure to shave all over before getting dressed and made up to go out for lunch.  I may have stood out a little by wearing a sweater dress instead of jeans, but I prefer the feel of a dress over that of trouser like garments.

Arriving at 12:30 pm, I was at the restaurant first for a change.  My friend arrived a couple of minutes later, and I proceeded to chat about my car purchase saga.  Then, I had fun telling her about the man from another meetup group who wanted to help this old lady. She had her own stories to tell as well, such as her upcoming trip out west.  Hopefully, the family will have a great time on this birthday trip.

All too soon, we had to leave.  And my next stop for the day was Trader Joe's, where I hoped to pick up a small tote bag for RQS.  Unfortunately, I could only find the bag in the next size up.  So, I guess that's a keeper for me, and that I'll keep looking for one for her.  Luckily, a visit to TJ's rarely makes a big dent in my wallet.  So I didn't mind going out of the way on a rainy day.

Eventually, I got home.  But I wasn't in the mood to go out.  So I posted a quick message in the meetup forum, and then focused on attending an Arts Westchester Zoom meeting.  I figure that I'll ramp up activities with this organization, as it will give me things to do when I'm up in Westchester....

Filling out paperwork for my next cruise.

 

A while back, I decided to buy stock in two cruise line corporations: NCL Holdings and Carnival corp.  Although both stocks have given me acceptable market appreciation, I may have gained more by taking advantage of the benefits that each shareholder can receive by filling in a form.  Today, I mailed out forms to give me $350 worth of cruise credits ($100 for my first cruise and $250 for my second cruise taken on Princess this year.)

Over the past couple of years, I have already received $500 of onboard credits from NCL and Carnival.   I expect that over time, these stock purchases will have paid for themselves in cruise credits alone.  The only reason that I didn't buy RCCL when I bought these stocks is that I didn't want to pony up $6,000 to own shares in a company whose products I don't use.  (I'm not knocking RCCL.  Instead, I simply didn't want to take the risk of investing this much money in a firm when I wasn't sure of when cruise line business would recover.)  All 3 corporations have performed well over the past 2 years, so I have nothing to complain about.

I am not addicted to cruising.  It is an inexpensive way to get away for a week or two and chill out.  I enjoy not having to drive when visiting a new city.  But I wish cruise ships spent more time in each port, so that I could see more of the associated city.  For example, last year's California Coastal cruise spent two days in San Francisco.  This gave cruisers a goodly amount of time to explore this great city.  This year's cruise will spend only one day in San Francisco, far from enough time to take in "Fog City's" beauty.

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When I first started making cruises a standard option for my vacations, my former cruise partner (FCP) encouraged me to go on these cruises as Marian.  The ships were good places for me to practice and develop my feminine presentation.  Given that I'd never see most of these people again, it didn't matter what these people thought of me.  I just had to be careful at which ports I'd get off the ship for shore excursions.

One of my next two cruises will be in Marian mode.  I can't wait to take it, although I'll be spending the day before the cruise as Mario when I see my uncle in his nursing home.  As for the other cruise, I'll be presenting as Mario for over two weeks.  You can bet that as soon as I get home from this cruise, that I'll rush to my closet to figure out what dress I'll wear the day afterward.....

Lunch with an old friend (postponed), and dinner with a new meetup group.

 

Today, I was supposed to meetup with an "old" friend, and then attend a meeting with a new meetup group.  Well, things didn't work out as expected.  Just after I had gotten dressed to meet her for lunch, SJM texted me to postpone lunch, as her son was taken to the hospital.  (I won't say more than this here.)  But she had one hell of a day, and we'll catch up with each other in the morning.  So, instead of meeting SJM, I picked up an egg sandwich at the deli where I used to stop every day before going to work at the imaging firm.

It's amazing how some people remember you after a couple of years.  I was greeted warmly, with the "what happened to you?" question.  I mentioned that I had retired, then told not to make myself scarce.  (Of course not, they want my business and they like friendly faces.)  With sandwich in hand, I decided to drive up to Poughkeepsie to browse the spring offerings at Lane Bryant.  While on the road, I chatted with my friend Maria, and we caught up with what's happening in each other's lives. And before too long, I was at the mall.

It was nice being in Marian mode again.  It's been more than a week since I last presented as female.  Once inside the mall, I noticed my legs weren't used to walking any distance - something I have to work on before going to Norway later this year.  There were some nice things at the store, but nothing that said "Buy Me!"  And that's just as well.  I've spent too much on clothing lately, buying another unitard from Universal Standard, a denim dress from Eshakti, and some shoes from Woman Within.  (It's hard to pass up good bargains when these are things I want to have in my closet.)  Now, I have to buy some things to wear over the unitards I have when not in exercise mode.

Once I got home from the mall, I relaxed for an hour before driving to Yonkers for another meetup.  This time, it was at an informal pizza joint in a business park off of Executive Boulevard.  I was the second to arrive, and we were all seated at the bar in order to get separate checks.  And this is where another feminine experience comes in....

Last night, I mentioned to one of the people at the meetup that I had been shopping for a car.  Well, he offered to help me buy a car - and volunteered to be my masculine "beard" when I go back to the dealership.  (My feminine presentation must be reasonably convincing now.  Little does he know that I present as male when dealing with car issues.)  Once he saw me, he showed me the information he gathered from one dealership's web site, as well as talking about what he's learned from his experiences car shopping.  Are all men like this?  AARGH!!!!  In his own way, he respected me last night for what I knew about cars, but was treating me like a lady who needed a man in her life to deal with these things.  Am I like this when presenting as Mario?  I hope not.  Once I was ready to leave, he showed me his new car - with all the bells and whistles.  Typical male behavior....

Luckily, I was able to make a graceful exit after a few minutes and left for home.  It was nice to be able to strip off all of the garments that cisgender women hate so much!!!!

 

 

PS: My friend's son is OK, and is at home resting as I write this.

Car Dealerships would rather haggle than make an honest deal

 

I'm coming close to inking a deal on a car.  Some dealerships have given me prices, and others keep steering me towards haggling with their sales people.  Of course, I will not play their game the way they want it played.  Instead, I may go with the salesman I liked most, only because I felt that he was giving me an honest, but high price.

Lately, I've been watching videos from the people who started caredge.com, Ray and Zach Shefska.  I'm hoping that these guys are able to develop their business in a way that forces car dealerships to get real, and to stop depending on haggling.  I may even use their service soon.  Who knows?  

At the very beginning of the pandemic shutdown, dealerships were making good offers to get rid of inventory, as many wanted to stem the loss from floor plan financing.  During the rest of the pandemic and through the recovery, car prices shot through the roof due to supply chain issues.  Now, we're seeing signs that dealerships are choking on both new car and used car inventories, especially at Stellantis (Dodge, Chrysler, Ram and Jeep brands) dealerships. 

If my car were 2-3 years younger, I'd hold out for another 2 years before buying a car.  The last thing I want to have happen to me is to have my car die while I'm presenting as Marian.  There are many risks for me that I want to eliminate, and predictable mechanical failures of a car's old age are those I can eliminate by buying a new car.  By buying a car with modern safety features, I also reduce the risks of me getting into an accident.  It's worth the money to eliminate risk from my life.

But back to deals....

Out of the 10 dealerships I've visited, only 1 or 2 have given me the information I wanted.  I figure that a single car buyer may not be enough to affect major change.  But if enough of us start using my tactics, we can force big changes, a little bit at a time.  

Jelly's Last Jam

 

Jelly's Last Jam tells the story (very loosely) of Jelly Roll Morton's life, as well as his contributions to the musical form we know as Jazz.  This was one of the better revivals in City Center's Encore! series. Given that I enjoyed Jelly Roll's music, I figured that this would be an entertaining diversion for both RQS and I, and gave her tickets to see this show on Valentine's Day.

A week and a half later, we braved the cold to go to City Center.  Weekend travel on the NYC Subway system can be frustrating at times, as many lines are shut down (whole or in part) for maintenance. For us, this meant that we had to deal with a larger than normal crowd at Union Square as we made our way outside to get a bite to eat.

Now, I don't keep any of my feminine wardrobe at RQS's house.  Even though it hovered near 32°f, the wind chill made it feel worse than that. So I was very fortunate that my feminine wardrobe was not available to me, as I would have braved the cold in a nice dress with tights on my legs.  Yet, if I did, I wouldn't have been the only person wearing a dress - we saw quite a few young (and older) ladies showing off their legs while on the subway, and later at city center.

Once done with food, we took the train to 57th street and then walked over to City Center.  After picking up our tickets, we had to kill 30 minutes in the lobby before being allowed to enter the theater and proceed to our seats.  Thankfully, we were able to take the elevator to the mezzanine where we had seats.

The play was nearly 2+1/2 hours long (with intermission) and RQS was tapping her feet and moving to the rhythm throughout the play.  I loved it too, and I'm not a big fan of musicals.  (Later on, I found this review in the New York Times while on the ride home - a nice coincidence.)  However, there was one minor fly in the ointment - we weren't able to make it home in time for SNL's cold open - one of our usual Saturday Night things to watch, along with Weekend Update.  At least, we were on time for a great fake advertisement for a love doll - Fugliana.  This was not a skit for everyone, but it was one of the show's best skits of all time. We watched the show until the second musical number started - then it was off to bed for the night. 

Dinner with Vicki and RQS

 

This is not where we ate the other day.  But I'd have loved to eat here, just for the outdoor ambiance. Vicki, RQS and I agreed to meet at one of our usual go-to places, Lefteris Gyro for a dependable good meal.

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RQS and I had been car shopping all day when a woman who I met in Marian mode called.  I made the mistake of answering the phone in Mario mode, and then RQS came on the line and fouled things up a little.  I'll bet that this spooked the woman who could have become a friend before I had the chance to mention my TG nature.  When I called her back later on, I found that her voice mail response hadn't been updated since 2021.  

Around 7 pm, we met at Lefteris, and  had a good meal.  Vicki may have been a little surprised to see me in Mario mode, but that was because I had been in Mario mode to do car shopping. Our conversation got a little animated (not in a nasty way), as Vicki and I both have strong opinions and needed to express them as part of our conversation.  Of course, this might have disturbed a couple at the table next to us (they were giving Vicki weird looks), but it didn't matter to us.  We ended up being the last people to leave the place, and we left a good tip to make up for taking up a table for over 2 hours.

On the whole, it was a nice way to finish up the day, and I'd like to do this again soon....

Game night - a short post

 

Although it was a perfect day to go outside and test drive some cars, I ended up staying indoors until it was time to go to game night.  

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One thing I've noticed at game night is that the people there always refer to me as SHE.  That's very important, as they know I'm transgender.  Whether or not I go for radical surgical alterations to my body or not is a minor issue with this group of friends.  People there are comfortable with the idea of being transgender, and just accept me as a normal person.

Even with being accepted, being the oldest person in the room does make me feel odd at times.  I am not good at games that require a lot of strategical thought - I might be more of a tactician than a strategist.  But I enjoy going there because I enjoy the company of younger people.  And that's something that will likely keep my mind active as I get older.

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With all of the above being said, I had a troublesome thought come to mind.  What would happen when people who only know Mario meet people who only know Marian?  I'd no longer be around.  But I'd hate to see people freaked out because I lived on both sides of the gender coin.

Planning for the future

 

I am a male with gender non-conforming presentation, or I am a transgender woman with very mild gender dysphoria.  In either case, I have to think about my future, and my potential needs as I grow old.  This means I may need to find senior care facilities which accommodate and cater to people like me.  I don't think I'll feel comfortable if I'm forced to present as Mario for the rest of my life.  And I don't think I'd feel comfortable if I'm only able to be with queer people like me.  I need to be in a place where I can mix between both worlds - something which may not be possible for a baby boomer like me.

Although there are services for the senior LGBT community, such as senior housing and senior centers, I will try to live on my own for as long as possible.  Yet, I will eventually need to find housing that fits the needs of an older version of myself, and I expect that there will not be enough of this type of housing when I need it.  So what will I do?  I have no children.  My niece and nephew live far enough away that they might as well not exist.  Having a spouse/partner in old age may help for a while, but she will also be suffering the slings and arrows of old age at the same time as I do.  If I were to dwell on it much, I'd be scared.  But I look at things like this as they come and address them when they come.

Yet, I wonder - what will the future bring?

As I see it, it's very important for me to build up a social network now, so that I have people I can ask for help as I need it.  For example, my tax preparer, an enrolled agent, has retired, and I have been asking around for references.  Hopefully, I will find one soon, as I would prefer to use someone other than the person I could use as a fall back.  I can only imagine what it will be like when I can no longer drive or go up/down stairs and have to move.  Who will be there to help me handle my affairs?  (Maybe I can ask my uncle about this when I visit him this spring.)  This is only the tip of the iceberg that is "growing old in today's America" and I have yet to find the answers I need.

Any ideas?

Car Shopping

 

So far, I have only been able to take the time to test drive one car, the Buick Envista.  As much as I like the car, I am not yet ready to drop the hammer and buy the car.  I have yet to drive the other two cars at the top of my list: the Honda HR-V and Mazda CX-30.

One of the issues I have living in two gender modes, is that I have to schedule events that require my presence as Mario (usually with people who only know me as Mario, or when my legal ID has to be presented) on days where I'll be in Mario mode.  So I haven't had much time to go out for test drives.  I expect that the process of test driving cars, arranging for insurance, then taking possession of the car will take 6 weeks.  So I expect that, barring any unforeseen issues, that I'll be driving something new in a few weeks.

Once I have the new car, I figure that I'll be taking mass transit more often to visit RQS at her place, as it will be harder to find a good parking spot in her neighborhood.  At least, the car I eventually will buy will have all the safety features I need, such as blind spot detection.  It'll be nice to drive a car I can depend on again (not saying my current car is not dependable) based on the age of the car, the wear and tear of the car, and the new safety features designed into the car.

I can't wait to have that "new car smell" around me again....

A nice weekend with RQS - a quick post

 

This weekend was a "half and half" weekend in more ways than one.  Although she came up on Thursday to spend the evening with me at game night, we drove down to her place on Saturday to spend the rest of the weekend in the city.  This was a nice change of pace.

But first....

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But I had enough to get dressed and meet RQS at the train station in Marian mode.  From there, we were off to Lefteris Gyro, as we'd be heading towards Yonkers for game night.  Once done with dinner, we drove over to game night where RQS was warmly welcomed.  (I think that the host and hostess approve of my choice of girlfriend.😊)  We were in time for 2 games, and both of us did poorly - and had fun doing so.

On Friday, I had to return to Mario mode, so that I could test drive a car.  I'm very surprised that Buick has a compact SUV in my price range. Even though it has a 3 cylinder engine, the car had a bit of pep for a small car.  The way the car performed justified my visit to the dealership.

Saturday came, and we woke up late.  Instead of risking not getting a parking spot at her house, we skipped test drives of 2 other brands/models, and saved time by going directly to Ridgewood.  And this was a good thing, as after a bit of food shopping in her neighborhood, it took 15 minutes to find a parking spot.

Sunday was a sleepy day for us.  And the only reason for getting dressed was a visit to the local Bodega.  While out, we checked the alternate side of the street parking rules that applied to my car.  I could stay overnight!  Yay!  So that's just what I did.  It was nice to have an extra night with RQS.....

Now, I have some plans for more than the next couple of days.

 

This won't be a long post.  But I know how I'll be dressed for the next week or so.  And it'll be nice to spend another week solely as Marian!

In the past, I have mentioned how I use a calendar to keep track of which days I'll present as Mario and which days I'll present as Marian.  Tomorrow, RQS and I are going to the nail salon - and that means that I'll be spending the better part of next week as Marian.  Yay!  Yes, it helps that RQS will be coming up for Game Night this week.  And I'm always glad that she can spend time with the people I call my friends.

When I dated XGFJ, there were people with whom I only socialized with as Marian.  This situation made XGFJ uncomfortable accompanying me to certain gatherings.  Now that we've been out of each other's lives for a while, we've been able to live our lives without encumbrances posed by each other's comfort levels.  And that's been a blessing for me, as I prefer to be out as Marian as much as possible.

The other day, I chatted with a friend about this, and she was glad that RQS and I are in a place where she's comfortable with me in either presentation.  Yet, I know that when V-Day comes, I'll likely be in Mario mode for that night - I think she'll be happy to see me that way on that special day.  Yet, it would be nice if we could both get dressed up in elegant red dresses and spend that night on the town.  One can dream, can't she....?