Dinner with "Short Vicki" (a short post)

 

As usual, my day revolved around what was going to occur in the evening.  For today, my night time appointment was with Vicki #2 (the "Short" Vicki.)  We haven't seen each other for a while, and it was nice to get together at Leftris Gyro for dinner.

I told Vicki of the things going on in my life: Dating, Work, and the impending death of a friend.  And she talked about the things going on in her life, such as her spouse's cancer being kept in check (for now).  In one sense, things were a little awkward.  And yet, it was good for each of us to get together with a friend.

After dinner, I checked my messages.  And DCD responded to my "What's Up?" message.  Sadly, the growth in his head is coming back.  So they will need to do another operation, then treat the area with radiation.  We will get together when he gets back from vacation.

What is the coincidence that 3 people I know all have problems with their brains.  WDS had a stroke, and will never regain full function.  Vicki's spouse had a surgery to remove a brain tumor.  And DCD will need to go under the knife again.  AARGH!  It makes my troubles look small by comparison.

The first part of the day was a dud....

 

Yes, a rainy morning puts a damper on doing things outside.  Given yesterday's activities, I only had enough energy to do laundry on a dreary day.  So that's what I did.

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After I had the chance to wake up, one of my newer acquaintances gave me a call, and suggested that we meet for an early dinner. And that we did, out in Jersey.  Too bad that I couldn't stop by TCL's place afterwards. But that's another story.

I hope that I will be able to see my new friend again.  We have similar ideas about what is needed in a good relationship.  However, there are drawbacks which could get in the way of things.  So we'll see what happens in the long term.

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Later on, I received a text from FCM.  She wanted to get together again. So I'll have to figure out some time that I can squeeze her into my schedule.

A visit to Planting Fields Arboretum

 

The above is not a pretty shot.  However, the three closest people in the picture (#3 obscured by the woman in the red jacket) gives you an idea of how popular Planting Fields Arboretum is for "important" photos such as wedding pictures. Several groups of people were posing for staged photos on the paths where we walked, and if I had some pictures I wanted to stage, I'd stage them here.

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Planting Fields Arboretum is a state park located on the grounds of an old mansion.  I can only imagine what like was like in this mansion when it was a private residence.  I'll bet that many motion picture scouts think it is perfect for use in period piece movies, where a residence of the rich and famous is needed for exterior shots.

But first....

I picked up my friend at her house, then drove to the arboretum.  There were police cars in front of the entrance saying that the place was closed, as the parking lots were full. So we went for lunch at a restaurant we at at before, and then returned to the arboretum.  This time, the police cars were gone, and we found easy to pack near the entrance to the grounds.  After running back to the car to fetch my forgotten mask, we started walking along the path below.

The above path is prettier than the picture makes it look.  The trees on the right were in full bloom, and my partner for the day wanted several pictures of her taken by these trees. It's a shame that I do not want to show her face in this blog, as I took a picture or two worth enlarging and framing. 

        

This statue was found at the end of our walk.  My partner is not up to a long walk, so we ended things up a little earlier than expected.  After a quick trip to Trader Joe's, I dropped her off at her place, and I returned home for the night.  At least, I know she had a good time today.

I was looking forward to some lobster, and I almost missed it.

 

The above picture was taken at the site of a former country club in my area.  Doesn't the place look serene?  Well, the bulk of the property has been converted into a nondescript upper middle class housing development, and this is the only part of the site that looks as it did when I moved here almost 40 years ago.

You might be asking, why was I here to take this photograph?  Well, the answer is related to the picture below:

I've been looking to catch up with one of the food trucks from Cousins Maine Lobster for months now, and this was a golden opportunity I couldn't miss.  One of their many trucks was sited less than 10 minutes from home.  So I decided to go a little out of my way for a bit of lobster and some clam chowder.

I was talking with my friend Valerie on the way home, and overshot my normal exit on the way home to keep from losing the phone connection in a back roads dead spot.  And this made me forget about the reason I was taking this route in the first place.  As a result, I stopped into Chipolte for a burrito.  Yet, I was lucky.  They prepared my order as if to go, and I wasn't happy with the idea of eating it there.  So I brought home half a burrito to eat tomorrow.  While on the way home, I remembered the food truck, and stopped by the former golf course to pick up the bite to eat that I originally wanted.  This was worth my effort.  The clam chowder was good, but the lobster roll was great!  I'll definitely look for this truck again when it's in my area.

After I finished my dinner, I settled down to relax.  First, Vicki called me.  And then TCL called me.  By the time I was done with the phone, it was almost midnight and I had to post this entry.  Luckily, I was already prepared to tell a quick story about the food truck - all I needed to do is find out how good the lobster roll was....

Dinner with the Fun Time Friends

This is not the normal way I enjoy Sake.  However, when a Hibachi chef is squirting it into your mouth, why say "No?"  The Fun Time Friends meetup was in full force tonight, and it was Marian's time to shine.

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My original plans for the day were to go to work, drive home, take 15 minutes to change, then drive to the meetup.  I thought better of it when I remembered that I'd be driving during rush hour, and that a 60 minute drive in off hours would take 90+ minutes during rush hour.  So I started off from my office and was making great time until I reached Stamford - and then the problems began.  First, Google Maps routed me from the Merritt Parkway to I-95.  And then, when I reached the Sherwood Island connector, Maps routed me (and several other people) along some nice side roads to bypass the traffic jam.  Unfortunately, Maps had to put us back on I-95.  But I was a little lucky.  I was able to pull off into a rest area, and then make myself presentable for dinner.

Eventually, I arrived at the meetup, and most of the bunch were early.  At least, this time, I was able to sit with the group's organizer (when she was sitting down at the table).  The organizer doesn't know how good she looks.  Nor, does she know that Mario has seen her personal ad.  It would be a hoot if she swiped right, not knowing that she already has met me in Marian Mode, as had CMF.  A little bit later, the fellow who always wants a picture with me got his picture, and I was free to chat with the two ladies sitting next to me.

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Once dinner was done, I tried to call FH.  Her fax line came on.  About 20 minutes later, she called me - and we were chatting until the line cut out.  However, she got pissed at me because (1) I didn't call back right away, and (2) that she had to call me 20 minutes later.  Who knows what her mood will be when I see her this weekend....

Later on, when I got home, I took some pictures of my SoClean CPAP disinfecting unit.  Seems like a piece of plastic broke, and the lid won't stay shut.  (My workaround is to put a weight on top of the lid.  But I shouldn't have to do this.)  So I wrote to customer support, sending in pictures, and stating that a product shouldn't break after a year's use.  Hopefully, they will agree with me and work with me to get this problem resolved.

 

 

PS: It took several days for SoClean to get back to me.  They asked me for information to see if my unit was under warranty, and told me NOT to use the unit as it might leak ozone.  With a weight on top of the lid, there is no risk of an ozone leak.  And I thought that it would make some sense to use a Velcro strip to hold the lid down if I don't want to use a weight on top of the lid.

So I will continue using the unit AND pressure them for a replacement if I need to do so.  However, if I don't get a replacement unit, I will pester the CEO of the firm a little, so that s/he knows I am a very unhappy customer.

Sometimes, the best thing to do or say is nothing.

 

A philosophy which usually works for me is

When in doubt, do or say nothing.

All too often when I find that I "need" to act, I haven't thought enough things out.  This is what caused me to give the ex the "evidence" she needed to blackball me from a particular meetup group.  If I had done or said nothing, she wouldn't have been able to screw me.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I caught myself thinking of a conversation I had with my ex that referenced the nagging issue of the meetup groups.  Instead of giving her any ammunition, I said nothing.  I can always say something later on when something really needs to be said.

Do I know if the ex is reading this blog?  I must assume: Yes.  So I offer some advice.  The closer you are (or have been) to someone who writes a diary, the more you should resist the temptation to read it.  If you do, you might find out things about yourself that you don't like or can't accept.

Sadly, I did say too much in a now deleted entry. And for this I am sorry.

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A year and a half ago, I lost FCP as a friend, in part because she decided to read this blog and find out what I really thought about her.  Since I was tired of her drama, this was not a great loss.  But losing the girlfriend afterwards was like a sucker punch to the gut.  At least, in the battle we fought last year, I got my punches in.  If I felt like s--t, she did too.  Unlike her, I will say that this pain could have been avoided.

It's just too bad that we haven't yet found a way to be real friends who meet now and then. And now, I doubt we ever will because of being too open with who I am.

 

PS: The original version of this entry was much longer.  I took my advice in its editing.

Right now, I'm glad I have my job

 

If it weren't for having a job, I would be raiding my savings account for much more money than I've needed to do this year.  It's not the job I want to keep forever.  Instead, it's the kind of job to keep until I have something better to do.

It's nice being able to go to work as Marian on a regular basis.  Yet, this job does not allow the social engagement I would like.  Yet, I can't complain.  The job is exactly as was presented to me.  And I'll do it to keep from draining savings.  If a travel opportunity opens up to me, I may leave the job so that I can take my trip.

There's not much I can do to make my job more interesting.  I think of it as a form of electronic "whack a mole".  It lulls me to sleep when I'm tired, and I need to make sure I have my coffee before starting work.  By the end of the day, my body clock is waking the body up, so that it can go home safely.  My boss could put me in a different area.  Yet, I think he's trying to be nice to me by giving me an easy job to do.  No complaints will come from my area of the peanut gallery.

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The other day, FH wondered why I don't buy a new car.  The answer is simple.  I hate draining my savings accounts when I am living on an artificially low income.  TCL understands this quite well, even though she's on a tighter budget than I am.  I expect that by this time next year, I'll be looking at buying that new car.  Will it be a used car, like Vicki might get?  Or, will it be a new car, like I usually get?  Either way, I will need reliable transportation while working and while dating.

This job gives me way too much time to think.  I have to remind myself to focus on other things when my thoughts go where they would likely make me sad or angry.  Here, I'm glad that I've been listening to a series of TV shows dedicated to Meditation.  I've found that they relax me enough to fall asleep AND that they teach me certain coping skills I need to short circuit the cycle of anger and sadness.

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Now that the pandemic is easing off, too many people will be rushing to get out and about.  This is the time that I may be avoiding the growing crowds, as I still expect another wave of the pandemic to cause many of us grief.  Instead, I'll stay inside, work as hard as possible, and possibly save some money for future travel.