Gradually, my blog is finding a new voice

 

Lately, I've noticed something.  With getting out and about as Marian being a common occurrence, other things have been taking up bandwidth in my life.  I'm seeing that I've been focused on the vacations I want to take, instead of affairs in my life.

In the past, I wrote too much about things in my life that included way too much about what was going on in others' lives.   Now, I have little to say about most of the other people in my life - save for minor things, or for very important things.  The things in the middle are gone.  An example of the little things would be going on a date with MWL or CWS.  An example of the big things would be the kerfuffle with FH.  It is no longer what I once said about FCP.  Sadly, I'll never be able to make it up to her as much as I once wanted to do this - she's permanently pissed off at me, and me at her (for other reasons).

Unlike the years leading up to 2020, I was not working then.  With 2020 and 2021, work has taken up a lot of my time.  And not much has been worth reporting here because I don't have as much time to live my life as before.  But that's OK ...for now.  I plan on retiring again soon, and getting back to many of the activities I love, and seeing the people I want to see again.

 

As much as I'd like to go on this cruise, I can't do so.

 

A year and a half ago, I was thinking of a Panama Canal cruise that went from New York City to Seattle. This cruise route is no longer being offered, and I doubt it will be offered until 2025 at best.  So the above route is the best alternative I can find that does both a full transit and will bring the total cost of the trip in at a price under $5,000 (at the time I'm writing this entry).

Now that I'm sailing alone, I have to focus on being more frugal than I was a couple of years ago.  Although this cruise sails out of Florida and ends in California, I can fly to Florida, meet up with a friend or two, then sail to San Francisco (via the canal), and then fly home with minimal difficulty.  However, this would be a trip made in Mario Mode.  So I'd leave all my feminine trappings at home.  

This trip would have one big advantage - I could change my plans and have a new travel partner come with me.  If I'm very lucky, a woman with whom I've had a few dates will be coming with me, as we share the same interests in trips.  But I'm not counting chickens before they hatch - I'm still waiting for the eggs to be laid.

As I said, I won't be going on this cruise.  One of these two conditions will be true: (1) I'll still be employed by the firm where I work now, or (2) I'll be working in a new organization.  Either way, conditions will make it impossible for me to take this trip in 2022.  And, I'm not sure if I want to take this bucket list cruise in the same year that I want to take my Hawaii cruise.

Lunch with a friend, then taking care of business afterwards.

I

 

I had scheduled lunch with a friend today. And, as usual, I was running a little bit late.  But my friend was also a little bit late, due to not seeing a permit restriction on the parking meter.  So, we ended up getting to the restaurant at the same time. Lunch was at a place I used to go to regularly when I worked for the bank.  So I knew it was likely to be good, and likely to be moderately priced.  And it was.  The conversation flowed like water, and the two of us are likely to meet up again soon - at least, I hope so

 

Getting home quickly was a must, as I knew that my GI tract was going to play a game with me - and it did.  But after a few minutes, I was OK and ready to go out again.  But I took it easy.  While out, I spoke with MWL, and she wasn't feeling that well.  So we cancelled our get together for the next morning.. This freed up my day, and I proceeded to go back to bed and sleep a little bit.  

Since daylight was gone, I knew that there wasn't that much I could do. Doing a lot of apartment cleanup is still needed, but something I wasn't ready to tackle.  (Maybe if I had someone in my life that meant a lot to me, I'd find the energy.  But that story is not one to be told today.)  Yet, I did find the time to look for two very important documents and found a third as well.  When I'm ready to sell my car, I will need both the finance company release of lien and the title to my car. And I found those two documents neatly filed away - something I don't usually do.  And then, I found the mortgage company's release of lien to my apartment.  This was something I didn't expect to see filed where I found it.  This was a nice stroke of luck for me.

Afterwards, I debated to whether I'd see the new Ghostbusters movie.  Part of me wanted to stay home. And part of me wanted to go out.  At the time I started this entry, I did not know what I wanted to do.  But I went out anyway - and enjoyed a good reworking of the original story - this time, with one friendly ghost.

Going into the weekend - a quick post.

 

The above mugshot was taken before all the crud started to hit the fan in my life.  Although I only worked at the nursing home for 4 nights (without any known complaints), it was a valuable experience for me.  It was my first job working as Marian.

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Why do I mention this?

I got a response from my former cruise partner today. (Today, meaning the day I'm writing this entry.)  She claimed that she tossed my letter - as I expected she might.  Sad for her.  She could have learned a lot by reading the letter.  But then, she never was much of a person to be introspective, or to be calm when processing things with which she is uncomfortable.  In anger, I responded by telling her to go screw herself and the horse she came in on.  Knowing the horse, she might get better action from the horse than she was getting from her then BF when we were still friends.  (I'm just joking here.  I have no way of knowing this, nor would I want to know. The horse deserves its privacy. 😉 ) 

Being serious, I know I wronged her two years ago.  It's her over the top unchecked anger that is a problem.  I'd hate it if we were to bump into each other in a public place.  She's just crazy enough to cause an unwanted  scene, as she goes from Zero to 100 in a heartbeat.  I'm just glad we live 30 minutes apart, travel in different social circles AND will be sailing on different cruise lines. One thing our last cruise taught me is to avoid doing things with a lonely person after she breaks up with her lover.  I'm just glad that I will never again hear her complain about people being too busy to deal with her immediate needs and desires.

There will never be much more to say about her in this blog.  She became a non-person after our dust up, and is no longer worth the price of a postage stamp. Yet, it's amazing how people can be assholes (myself included) at times. It's just funny that she reads my blog at times, when she hates me so much.  (Now, with this post, she has something she can complain about for the last time - just not to me.)

I can only look forward to the future with friendships healthier than our friendship was. Yet, I must thank her for helping me grow as Marian when I needed it most.

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At least, the rest of the weekend will go off on a better note.  I'm looking forward to seeing miniature "Stay Puft Marshmallow Men" on the big screen....

 

PS: If you liked the 1st film, you'll like this one.  It's the sequel the 1st film deserved.

 

 

I'm usually in a rush....

 

Today's entry will be short....

One of the problems in working as a woman is that in order to go out into the world, I need to make up my face to look presentable.  But before that, I have to shave all over my body to remove any traces of unfeminine hair that may show up on my body.  But this isn't a perfect process - I can't do my back as often as needed.

Over time, feminine grooming (Marian style) has come easy to me.  When I follow my routine in sequence, things go quickly, and I can be out the door in about an hour if needed.  This is something that my transgender readers must understand - it takes time to learn how to make one's self presentable, and more time to learn how to do this quickly.  I've learned how and when I can edit down my shaving routine, and what I must do to look nice in a hurry.

Yet, there are some things that will always take time, such as putting on pantyhose.  If they'd stay up, I'd wear thigh-highs under my longer dresses if possible.  This would be an advantage when I have to wear an all-in-one foundation undergarment.  (I have avoided them when getting dressed to the nines, as I hate the headache of using hook and eye closures after a visit to the loo.   

At least, getting myself ready to go to bed is much quicker than my morning routine.  And with that, I'll sign off for the night.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am very grateful that I have almost made it through the pandemic in "good health."  Although there are things I've lost due to the pandemic, I am happy that my brother and his family got through the worst in good health. I am happy that my real friends made it through the pandemic safely.  And, most importantly, I am grateful not to have infected by the virus.

Unlike many people, I didn't have financial worries during the worst of things.  I appreciate this luxury that I had that many didn't have.  The only important worries I had were for the sake of others.  And most of those worries didn't turn into problems.  The friends and family that caught the virus recovered from it and are mostly OK.  (I can't say for sure if any have/do not have any long term symptoms.)  

Other than this, I don't have too much to say.  I'd rather focus on having a good dinner with people I care about....

I never thought that I'd be saying NO to meetup groups.

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I don't have much to say today.

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Recently, I've been saying "No" to attending meetup groups more often than I want to bother attending them.  This amazes me after all the "Sturm und Drang" I was dealing with last year.  

Right now, I'm bored with people.  Dating is a hassle, and there are times that I can't bother with the effort. Even though I feel a little lonely at times, the effort of leaving my shell often takes up more energy I want to expend in the process.  

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Could you say that I am depressed?  Maybe.  Yet, I feel like I'm still recovering from the disaster that was 2020. I was hurt by two of the people I cared about most  (In one case, I was not the innocent party.  But that's another story told elsewhere - such as in my prior blog, which is no longer available to anyone.) I spent so much energy trying to find ways to connect with people that I ignored the connections I already had.

Until things fully get back to normal, I don't know how well I can recharge.  But I know that being able to interact with the world as Marian will be part of the process.