Lunch with a friend as Marian

 

I'm moving with the help of pain killers these days, and can't wait until I return from my trip to let the doctors get at me.  Today could be the last day I can spend as Marian for the next few weeks, and I made the decision to make the most of it.

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Getting up this morning was a little bit of an effort.  But I was able to get moving with the help of pain killers and my cane.  So, showering would be a pain, as it could hurt to stand while in the shower.  Knowing this, I did the minimum needed to present as Marian, and found a dress that needed a second wearing before going in the hamper.

Before I started my morning routine, I contacted the foreign birth registry to discuss the status of my paperwork.  I has asked one of my female friends what she did to change her name after getting married, and she said that her marriage certificate was all she needed to deal with America's social security administration, and with New York State's motor vehicle department.  So, I came prepared with knowledge that most women did not have to file for court ordered name changes - the government issued marriage certificate was enough.  When I finally chatted with an agent, I was told that the official records from New York City (with stamp) were good enough for me to send off.  So, now it's off to Maria again (after my vacation) and restart the process of getting my second citizenship. 

Although CCS knows that I am non-op transgender and has met me as Mario, I made the effort to present as best as possible in Marian mode.  I was lucky not to be in much pain to walk to my car, walk to my seat in the restaurant, and reverse the process in returning home.  Both of us needed to talk a bit, and we competed a little to get what we needed to say said.  And yet, we did so without trouble, wishing that we could afford more time to chat. 

When I got home, it was a little difficult for me to climb the stairs.  But, I should be able to do some laundry tomorrow.... 

 

Taking care of business ...slowly

 

I'll be glad when I get back from my trip, as I can move forward with taking care of my legs.  Today, the thigh and calf muscles were "sort of" behaving, but my knees bothered me when I stood up.  Pain killers will help a little, but I bet that there will be more things wrong with me that the doctor has to diagnose.

- - - - - -

I didn't really start moving today until noon.  This time, my knees were bothering me.  So, I added some pain killers to my morning regimen of pills.  But, I couldn't go out until after 2, as I had someone from a financial firm I had to talk to.

In mid afternoon, a lady from the financial firm called, and we proceeded to start signing me up as a client.  Seems like the registration process stops when no beneficiary Social Security number is entered.  Although I got the information from RQS (she's going to be my beneficiary), their system wouldn't allow me to continue - there's a bug in the environment.  So, I'll have to make a phone call tomorrow.

Next, it was off to the drug store to get some pain killers.  While there, I got new passport photos for the foreign birth registry AND a digital copy of the photo for use when renewing my US passport.  Although the injectors (whatever you call the needles) were ready for me to pick up, the GLP-1 drug wasn't ready.  I had to give the drug store my Medicare ID again.  AARGH!   Let's hope everything is taken care of before I leave on my trip.

- - - - - -

With the possible exception of tomorrow, this will be the longest stretch of time I'll be spending as Mario for a long while.  I can't wait to get back home from my trip, so that I can schedule more doctor appointments, and in-between, spend some time as Marian again. 

 

A painful day at home (a short post)

 

It's the day after our drive to Hudson, and I ache. That's not an accurate description of what's going on with my body.  I'm not aching when I sit or lie down.  I'm simply in pain when I try to stand up or walk.  The muscles in the back of my calves simply do not want to support me.  There may be a set of pinched nerves in my back causing my problems, or it may be something else.  But I know that the doctor is going to ask me why I'm using a cane when I visit him soon.

Getting out of bed and taking care of myself lately has been troublesome at best.  I've put off doing a load of laundry for several days, simply because I'd hurt too much while going up and down the stairs. This weekend, RQS has been doing much more than I could ask of her to keep me out of pain.  And I'm grateful for that.  She has done all of the cooking, and a bit of the cleanup after meals - and more.

For the most part, for me to get around in my apartment, I need my arms for 3-point support.  At least, one of my arms needs to support my body in addition to the 2 legs that normally do so.  So, it hasn't been much fun for me to get around.  This is why I'm a little bit afraid.  I have a trip coming up, and I need to be mobile for that trip.  

But enough of my venting for now....

This morning, I received a delayed reply from my Canadian pen pal.  She's doing well, but is very busy.  She doesn't live with her wife yet, but visits her every so often.  When her parents die, she and her wife will find a way to live together - either in one city or the other,  Until then, my pen pal will be taking care of her parents.  And that's the sign of a good adult offspring.

My brother is likely going to be out of a job soon, and has started interviewing for a new one again.  He works in a place which is in receivership, and doesn't think that the banks will bail the firm out a second time.  This makes me glad that we've sold the family homestead, as my brother has a small financial cushion to tide him over until finding a new position.  It won't be an easy time for him - he suffers the from the discrimination our society has against older workers.

I'm still waiting on New York City to send me a copy of my grandmother's marriage licence.  That's the hardest thing for me to get to complete the requirements for the foreign birth registry.  I'm still going to see if I really need this document.  But, I need to get on an online chat to do so, and I haven't found the time for this task.

As a wise person said in four short words:

"This too, shall pass." 

Thanks to RQS, I can get a needed document.

 

As I mentioned in a prior post, a bureaucrat ruined my day by telling me that I have to resubmit paperwork to be recorded in a Foreign Birth Registry.  Today, with the help of my partner, RQS, I was able to locate a record requested by the bureaucrat and request it from NYC bureau of vital records.

But first....

I didn't get much sleep last night because of the email I received from the overseas bureaucrat.  So, when I finally woke up this morning, I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep.  This wouldn't be enough to make it through the day, but it would be enough to see RO in Parsippany, NJ for lunch.

Parsippany, NJ is one of New York City's suburban communities, not known for much other than a highway or two, as well as a shopping center and some strip malls.  For us, the town is a midpoint between the Poconos and the Hudson Valley, and a convenient place to have lunch now and then.  And it is in Parsippany that one of the very few remaining Fuddrucker's franchises stands.  We both love their burgers, and will occasionally meet at Fudd's for our lunches.

Both of us reached Fudd's at the same time, and ordered our burgers.  Then, the catching up on life started.  I talked about the sale of the family homestead, my upcoming cruise(s), and the status of the foreign birth registry.  It was nice to see RO, but the time to leave came way too soon.  So, we made a date for September, and then went on our way.

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On the way home, I chatted with TCL, and she wondered why I didn't suggest getting together.  I mentioned that I was in Marian Mode, and didn't think she'd be comfortable seeing me as Marian.  Eventually, I made it home and was able to take a nap for a couple of hours.

Next, it was time to go to dinner with Vicki.  So I put my dress back on and drove to Yorktown Heights to meet Vicki at a restaurant where one of her friends was performing.  I was running late, but got to the place on time.  Vicki complimented me on the dress I was wearing, Part of our conversation involved the quality of my feminine presentation, and how she respects the effort I make in that presentation.  Although the food served was decent (both of us ordered Caesar Salad w. Chicken), I'm not sure if I'd order the dish again.  Then I mentioned how my appetite has changed lately, and Vicki noticed that I lost a few pounds.  I mentioned my health issues, and that I'll be discussing them with my doctor in August. All too soon, it was time to go, so we parted ways. 

- - - - - -

Later in the evening, I had my nightly call with RQS.  I told her of the problem locating official NYC records for the foreign birth registry.  She found the record I was looking for, and made it possible for me to order the paperwork I needed to send to the registry.  (Now, I have something to talk to Maria about when I see her tomorrow.) 

Even though RQS got the smallest amount of space in today's entry, she made my day!  And now, I can proceed to get the paperwork needed for the foreign birth registry.... 

 

 

PS: My Grandmother and Grandfather (not my biological grandfather) got their marriage license at the end of one year, and got married the next day in a local church.  It must have been unusual in the 1940's to have a Protestant marry a Catholic in those days.  Too bad that my grandmother didn't save any pictures from that day.     

 

 

I got crucified by a paper pusher - will I come back to life?

 

As I've written before, I applied for the foreign birth registry of a nation, so that my right to claim citizenship is recognized.  Although my brother hit a bump in the road with his paperwork, he is now a dual citizen of both the United States and of this country (which I will leave unnamed at the moment.)  I just hit another bump in the road, and I will need to resubmit my photographs (no big problem) and submit one extra piece of paperwork that I do not have access to - my grandmother's marriage certificate.  AARGH!

I do not know if my brother has the date and jurisdiction of my grandmother's marriage license, so that I can get a certified copy from the appropriate entity to file with the photographs requested by the foreign birth registry.   But you might be interested in the contents of the following letter, so that if you are going through this process, you can understand what I'm going through.

Dear applicant,

We are dealing with your application to obtain Citizenship through entry on the Foreign Births Register. Unfortunately we cannot proceed with your application without the following document/s:


For the applicant (yourself):

1. A newly completed application form (pdf attached) and 4 new photographs, the witness to the application submitted is not the same witness that certified/witnessed your passport sized photos and your photo ID. The same witness must certify/witness all your documents. Please ensure the form is completed in full. Please ensure that the back of 2 of the photographs submitted are stamped, signed, dated and the application number is entered on the back by your witness. Please ensure that your witness stamps, signs and dates your application and submits a business card /letterhead if no stamp is available.

2. A certified/witnessed photocopy of your current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card), certified/witnessed by the witness to your application form. If you are sending a copy of your passport, please ensure that all the data on the photo page is fully visible.


For the grandparent (your grandmother):

1. Original civil marriage certificate/s showing name change from birth surname to current surname - Church certificates, certificates of marriage registration, marriage licenses and/or photocopies are not acceptable.

Please ensure that your application number is clearly marked on the envelope.

When the documents are received and your application is reviewed, you may be contacted again for further clarification or documents if required.

As you can see, I have a bit of work before me.  My grandmother's history is a bit sketchy, as my dad preserved precious little documentation regarding her life.  Yet, my brother squeaked through this process, so I should do so as well.  But when?  I want to be able to leave the USA if the Orange Monster goes completely berserk.

 

 

PS: We found a photograph of the Marriage Certificate, but we need an official copy. Given that it is not digitally accessible in the NYC records database, it's going to be a bit more of a pain in the ass than I would like.

My paperwork is complete. Now to send it out.

 

I finally filled in the last form I needed to register a foreign birth and gain a second citizenship in a European country (which I will leave unnamed for now.)  There's a part of me that has been hesitant about doing this.  But, with all that's going on in GOP politics in this country, it pays to have the ability to go somewhere if this country turns into a fundamentalist "Christian" autocratic kleptocracy.

- - - - - -

My grandmother was born in Europe in 1903.  She came here when she was 17, and gave birth to my dad out of wedlock.  (Yes, I can affectionately call my dad a bastard.  But then, I never did so.)  30 years later, my mom gave birth to me.  Luckily, according to the laws of one country, the child of a citizen is automatically considered a citizen of that country.  Grandchildren must file to be recorded in the foreign births registry before they are considered citizens.  It's a shame that my brother didn't do this before his children were born. His children would have been able to inherit citizenship from him, and be able to be citizens of 2 countries.  (My niece is preparing to become a UK subject, but that's another story.)

It's strange for me to think of myself as a citizen of more than one country.  But then, it's strange to think that America's democracy may be dead by our 250th birthday.  As a transgender person, I worry what will happen if the wall between church and state no longer exists, and that people are allowed to proselytize in the workplace. No longer will we be able to be free to hold our own beliefs and practice them. We're already seeing signs that this is happening with some of the rule relaxations that the Orange Snowflake is proposing.  I am still not emotionally prepared to pull up stakes and move to another country to be safe from America's madness.

- - - - - -

Once I was done getting the application form notarized, I prepared everything to be mailed out in the morning.  And then, I decided to take a drive up to Goodwill to see if I could buy a cheap carry-on for the times I am out doing an overnight as Marian. (One carry-on for Marian, and one for Mario.)  The used clothing there looked in much better shape than the used luggage.  I guess that I'll have to order an inexpensive carry-on from Amazon for this purpose. 

This weekend, I will likely be in Marian mode when I go to RQS's place. I have a set of dresses there that I can wear, and I figure that I might as well be comfortable.  We'll be seeing one of her friends (who has seen me in both presentations), and I not sure of what we'll do after that.  At least, I'll be able to drive down to her place, and not try to find the bus to her place at its new starting point. 

 

 

 

 

PS: on August 6th, I received word from the Foreign Births Registry that my paperwork has been received.  Now to wait a few months before the next step in the process.  Hopefully, bu this time next year, I will be a citizen of two countries.