Dealing with snags when booking a cruise.

If all goes right by the time you see this, RQS and I will have finally booked a California cruise for sometime later this year.  Ideally, it should be a simple thing to call a travel agent, tell him/her what you want, and have the best possible vacation that fits your requirements.  In our case, we have complications related to seeing my uncle that must be addressed, and that's where the problem lies.

 

You will notice that the rate for the SUV is $87/day (plus taxes, etc.)  Given that airport prices are excessive, seeing a $240 total is reasonable for this rental.  However, the travel agent's quotes for this one item are excessive.  He got a rate of $235/day ($470 total).  Something is very wrong here!

 

I could go to a different rental company and get even better rates.   But I prefer to stay with a company that is nationwide in scope, has a high recommendation rate and charges reasonable rates.  Unfortunately, I feel that the travel agent didn't double check his work and gave us a rate for 9 days, and not 2 days.  (I could be very wrong on this. But RQS and I have both done our homework on this cruise, and have found that the other prices are reasonable for what we are getting.)

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Assuming we get this last snag worked out, we will be spending a day in Los Angeles with my uncle, 2 days in San Francisco, a day in San Diego with RQS's cousin, and the rest of the time soaking in hot tubs.  Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Getting a ceiling repaired - The saga has ended.

 

Yesterday, I woke up to "construction noise" coming from downstairs.  The hole made for the plumbing repair was being fixed - a little under 3 weeks from the water damage from my apartment.  And I'm glad this saga has ended.  Based on the message below, I'm sure that my neighbor is happy with our response.

Good Evening

Just want to let you know that the work in our bathroom was completed today. Everything worked out well. Manny did a very nice job. He sheetrocked and painted and it all looks great. He also was very neat and left no mess when he was finished.

We are very happy with the result. Thank you for your part in getting this done.

As a co-op board member, it's a nice feeling to receive a thank you message from someone whose apartment was damaged on New Year's Eve.  It's important that any co-op board takes property maintenance and repair seriously, as this is one of the first things that people notice.

Hopefully, we will soon get to address other issues on our check list, as it's important that we show a record of accomplishments that we can justify our actions to our shareholders. 

Do I really want to be a model? - A Short Post

 

The other day, I saw the above post on communications I received from Universal Standard.  Although I joked with RQS about submitting a picture of myself along with contact information, there is a part of me that would like to be fully out as a member of the TG community.

There is a transwoman who inspires me in this area: Shay Neary.  She is openly transgender, and gets a bit of publicity. Would I want to be an older version of her? What would this do to my relationship with RQS? Given the choice of having a real and healthy relationship with a cisgender woman who accepts me as I now am, I'm not sure I'd ever risk the relationship for something with so many possible negatives.

Catching up with my friend Maria - A Short Post

 

Maria and I have known each other for almost 35 years, me being there for her as a friend during times good and bad.  Compared to my life, hers hasn't been that easy.  She has had to rebuild her financial life after being laid off by a major firm (for which she had grounds to sue, details which I won't go into here), through a change of career, then through both divorce and widowhood.

Recently, we found time to get together in spite of her busy schedule. As usual, I met her in Marian mode, though she knows me from my days solely as Mario.  She is comfortable with me in both modes, and I'm glad I can be my true self with her. This time, I did most of the talking, telling her about my Hawaii trip, including all of the craziness related to air travel.  However, I did get to mention my Vlog/Blog idea, and she thought it made sense.  So I will continue to write up my notes to prepare for the Vlog/Blog and try ideas out on both Maria and RQS when I'm ready to go.

One of the things Maria and I discussed was travel, specifically her ability to travel.  Her dog just passed away, freeing her to do things away from home.  If I wasn't attached to RQS, Maria and I could go on trips together with me traveling as Marian all the time.  But I am attached to RQS, and I'm glad this is so.  Yet, if things change - Maria will be the first person I choose to be a new travel partner (and not as a romantic interest).

 

Booking a cruise

 

The above is a picture of the ship I was on when I took my Hawaii trip.  Some of the cruises I've taken over the years were booked by my former cruise partner.  Other cruises I've taken were booked using a large travel agency or directly through the cruise line.  Now, RQS and I are looking to use a local travel agent affiliated with a larger travel agency to set things up for a California Coast trip we are interested in taking.

Why use a local travel agent instead of using a random person from the cruise line or from a large travel agency?  In our case, we wanted to find out whether it was worth the effort to hand off some of the mundane arrangements to someone who gets paid by the travel suppliers.  And the jury is still out for me in this regard.

In the future, I plan to take trips which require much more planning than a simple cruise to Canada and back.  For example, I'm looking to take a Norwegian Fjord cruise.  One of the cruises I'm interested in starts in Southampton, UK  and sails to both Norway and Iceland.  Travel to countries in the EU Schengen Zone requires one kind of pass for US citizens, while the UK has its own travel requirements. If I am happy with the service an individual agent can give me, I will use that agent for more of my trips.  If not, I will need to find other ways that I can minimize the research headaches I must endure to travel where I want to travel.

Yet, not all travel questions can be answered by a travel agent.  For example, how open to gender non conforming travel is a destination?  In my case, I have skipped several islands on Caribbean cruises, so that I am not hassled by their customs personnel.  To get this information, I may need to ask friends in the LGBT community for help.  And then, I might end up contacting several tourist bureaus directly - but not using my normal snail mail or email addresses for requesting this information.

Hopefully, one day, I will be able to travel freely, to anywhere I want, as Marian.  Until then, it pays to be careful.

Zooming with a Texas Friend

 

 

It's hard to believe that I've only met Stephanie once in person.  Yet, the two of us have developed a friendship thanks to Zoom and the Pandemic.

Today, Stephanie reminded me that we were supposed to have a zoom meeting this evening.  So, I set it up, and proceeded to get showered and dressed to spend the evening as Marian.  I ended up rushing to get to the post office before it closed, as I had a box to send to Pat at her care facility in Rockland county.  In the box was a photo shopped picture of my two gender presentations together, as if two separate people had posed for a formal picture on a cruise.

Once done with the post office, I decided to take a drive to Uncle Giuseppe's in Yorktown, to see how the store's new location looks.  And they did a great job with the space.  In the past, it housed a "Food Emporium" before A&P took over Shopwell and other smaller chains, causing the space to be empty for years.  Now, the store is much better than any of the supermarkets that previously occupied the space.

After killing time, I returned home and opened the zoom meeting with Stephanie.  As usual, we talked for a long time. Although she would like for me to come down and visit, I don't think I'll be visiting Texas anytime soon.  Texas is not a place where a TG like me can feel comfortable, given all the Radical Conservatives one finds down there.  The last thing I need is someone trying to cause me problems because I violated their "bathroom laws".

Sooner or later, I will have to get around to visiting Stephanie.  Only one problem - how can I make it worthwhile for RQS to accompany me on the trip?  Also, how would we describe our relationship with each other?

I am one lucky person! A Short Post

 

The other day, RQS and I were talking in bed (as we usually do) about many things.  And I said I was very lucky to have met someone who could accept me both as Mario and as Marian.  Although she said I was stretching her boundaries and expanding her comfort zone, I know not to go too far too fast with her.  Getting used to spending days at a time with her as Marian is still a new thing, and something that can't be rushed.

Soon, we'll be booking another cruise together, this time along the California coast.  It's too bad that I can't go in Marian mode this time, as we will be seeing both my uncle and her cousin.  The last thing we want is for them to see me as Marian.  But in the future, we will be traveling with me in Marian mode for several days, and I want to make sure that the trip is as pleasurable for her as possible.

As part of our chat, I noted that she will get to see me as Mario, in "formal mode" on the ship.  Believe it or not, I will be wearing a suit and tie on both gala nights on the cruise.  AARGH!  The last time I was on this line, I was wearing a little black dress with pearls.  And this is the way I feel most comfortable dressing to the nines.  Hopefully, we will soon take another cruise where I can dress to the nines in my little black dress and pearls, and make her just as happy as I will do wearing a dark suit and tie....

The Play That Goes Wrong went so very, very right!

 

RQS and I went to The Play That Goes Wrong this past Sunday, and there was no way either of us could hold in our laughter - The play was hilarious.  I had seen this play before as part of the "20 at 20" Off-Broadway theater promotion, and knew that RQS would love it - and she did.

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A while back, I was hunting for an appropriate Christmas present to give RQS.  Both of our apartments are overloaded with stuff we don't need.  I knew that buying objects for her gift could be counter productive for our long term needs.  But buying experiences might be the thing that would make her happy and help continue bonding us together.  So I took advantage of a deal offered online, and bought tickets for a performance we could go to in January.

This weekend rolled around, and so did theater time. So I drove down to RQS's place to spend Saturday night, in order to have an easy trip to the theater.  One problem - the bitter chill in the air.  Yet, we caught a bus without much waiting, and made it into the city an hour before showtime.  Luckily, we were able to find a place in the theater where we could sit down and wait until showtime.

The show opened up with two "stage hands" recruiting an audience member to help them set up the stage.  I told RQS that this was part of the show, and to keep an eye on everything going on from that point.  After the audience member was sent back to his seat, the show (and its mayhem) began.  I knew that this was the perfect gift for RQS, as she was continuously laughing for most of the next two hours.

All too soon, the play had to end and we had to go home.  If this play is professionally staged near you, I strongly suggest that you see it.  It will be worth the effort.

Getting the plumbing fixed - a short post

 

Nothing related to my transgenderism to talk about today.  Instead, what I hope is a finale to a plumbing problem that caused me some grief 2 weeks ago.

The above pickure is a view of my bathtub area from the apartment below.  You will note that the shiny pipe connection is new, as the old one was near the point of failure.  This was partially the cause of the problem that happened on New Year's weekend.  There was an incorrectly seated drain control lever that was also a partial cause of the problem.  Since the important things that caused the problem are within the building's walls, I am hoping that I won't be held responsible for the problem.

The plumbers arrived at 9:00 am, and I was glad to be up and about a couple of hours earlier than usual. This was a day that I wouldn't be able to be out and about as Marian, so I made sure to be dressed as Mario when the plumbers arrived.  The problem was fixed relatively quickly, and the plumbers were gone by 11:00 am.

Although I could have gotten showered and picked up RQS as Marian, I decided to make this a "Mario Day" - if only to make RQS a little more comfortable after a long trip to get here.  But I'll discuss the weekend in another post.

I have a feeling that the tire shop was right about this one - a short post

 

For a long while, I've had to worry about a slow leak in one of my tires.  About once per month, I'd find that an "Idiot Light" would go on, telling me that one of my tires needed inflating.  Well, the first time this happened, it was the TPMS Sensor in one my wheel hubs which was replaced.  Later on, I had a true slow leak that was annoying, and probably related to wheel hub damage that would only be noticeable when the car is on the lift.  This was a problem that I lived with, instead of trying to get it fixed - even after replacing a set of tires at the end of their life.  And then, after the wheel hub was repaired, I had another slow leak on the same wheel - this time, the tire needed repair.

Just before I went on my trip to Hawaii, I checked the air pressure in the tire to be safe, and then parked for a week and a half at the hotel. During the trip, I occasionally wondered about the tire, and whether it would still be inflated when I returned to the hotel to pick up my car.  It's been a month since then, and I haven't had to inflate the tire yet,

Why am I thinking of this?

I'm living more and more of my life as Marian, and I don't want to call AAA (or another service) for help when in gender-nonconforming presentation.  There are still too many people who think that people like me are freaks.  And I don't want to lose a certain privilege that seemingly cisgender people have - an expectation of being treated with "respect" (but not necessarily with honesty).  The one time I needed to call AAA while presenting as Marian, I was able to switch into Mario mode before the tow truck came.  Since I no longer bother keeping a change of clothes in the car, I feel that I could be at greater risk if my car were to break down on the side of the road. 

Game Night - The first of the new year.

 

Normally at this time of year, we'd have already had a coating of the white stuff around here and the above scene would be replicated at a nearby park.  Sadly for our reservoirs, we haven't had any snow yet.  But we have had more than enough "warm" days for any winter season.  

With the above being said, tonight's rain made me want to stay home instead of going to Yonkers to play games.  Since I am a regular, I decided to go - and had fun with the gang.  It's always nice to be with this crowd, as I always go as Marian.  And, as usual, I never seem to win any games, but have fun doing so.

Tonight, two of my favorite attendees weren't able to attend.  Given that one's parent is not in the best of health, it was expected that they would be taking care of that parent.  I missed the female half of the couple, as we always have interesting chats after the games are over.  (Yes, she knows I'm trans, and it doesn't matter to her.)  However, a couple of others that I wanted to see were there, and it was nice to see them again.

On other matters....

Lately, I've slowly made process in cleaning up my apartment.  Today, I made the decision to take two donation bags that were ready to go to charity, add a couple of comforters to those bags, and bring them to the donation center the next time I go out.  Additionally, I'm also finding a new home for a piece of luggage that I no longer use, clearing out even more space in my place.  But most importantly, I got around to hanging a poster my brother got me for Christmas - in the one remaining space in the apartment where it wouldn't distract from other things displayed in the apartment....

Seeing a friend for dinner - a short post.

 

I haven't seen my friend Vicki #2 in a while, so it was nice to get together with her again.  Vicki's spouse is living with cancer, but has no quality of life.  So Vicki has to arrange her life to take care of her spouse until the home healthcare aide arrives for an 8 pm to 8 am shift.

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It's important that key details of Vicki's life be kept private.  So I'll avoid going into fine detail here.  Like any caregiver spouse who tends for a permanently disabled spouse, Vicki's life is not her own these days.  So, when I contacted her before New Year, she suggested tonight for dinner.  But she made sure that we would meet when she knew that she'd be free.  Each time we've met lately, she feels grateful that I'm making the effort to reach out.  She has too much on her plate these days.

Vicki knows that I am TG, and has met me in both gender presentations.  However, most of the time, I meet her in a feminine presentation.  And this is how I dressed when I met her tonight at The Cube Inn, a small restaurant/bar in the heart of Tarrytown, NY.  This is not one of my favorite places to eat dinner.  But it is a nice place to go for a quiet drink with a friend or two.  I was lucky that we scheduled our get together for 8:45, as I wouldn't have been able to order a burger before the kitchen closed.  Thankfully, we could drink (if we wanted) until the cows came home.

We had a leisurely chat over a couple of drinks and some food, and all too soon it was time to go.  RQS and I have an invitation to drop by when Vicki is home.  So, who knows, we will be over someday soon....

The saga of water that flowed wrong - so far.

 

On New Year's Eve, RQS overfilled my tub, and water ended up flowing onto the ceiling of the apartment below me.  Although I'm pretty sure I know both cause and way to prevent this from happening in the future, I did the safe thing and reported this to the co-op management company, and asked for someone to investigate.  With a statement from the co-op saying what damages I may need to take care of, I could then go to my insurance company and file a claim under my policy.  This should be a no-brainer, and something that should be taken care of with a minimal amount of fuss on my end.  But things aren't as simple as they seem.

Both my downstairs neighbor and I reported the problem to the managing agent over the weekend, and we expected return phone calls (or emails) that next Tuesday.  All I got was crickets.  I figured that by Thursday I'd need to write again and ask for an update - which I got.  Finally some information!  The site representative was in contact with our plumber and would look to set up a date for an inspection.  I was bothered by this.  The same plumber was here that Tuesday morning, I was here that Tuesday morning, and my neighbor was here that Tuesday morning.  There was no excuse for not asking the plumber to spend a few extra minutes to come to our two apartments and determining the root cause of the problem.

The following Tuesday, we held a co-op board meeting.  As much as I can't talk about many things that happened in the meeting, I can say that I brought up my concerns to the site representative.  And he told me that he already scheduled an inspection of the two apartments' plumbing on Friday at 8:30 am.  What if either of us was planning on being away?  The site representative should have checked with the apartment residents before committing to a date and time.

As you can guess, I am annoyed.  From the time that the problem was detected to the time the apartments were inspected would almost be two weeks.  You can easily see why I want this site representative replaced as soon as possible.

"Bored" Meeting

 

Once every month (excepting Summer), my Co-Op board meets to discuss issues before it.  Tonight, was this month's board meeting, and as usual, minutes were taken and hours were lost. Although I can't go into any detail, I can say that we were frustrated coming into the meeting, as we'd get a series of excuses from one person as to why things haven't yet been taken care of.  

It seems like we have the same basic problem every month.  Under the first management company, our goal was to find out where we were financially and move forward from there.  With the second management company, our goal was to keep up to date with things and not let someone return us to the position we were in with the first company. And now, with the third company, the problem is holding one person's feet to the fire, so that things get done when we need them done.

Sadly, problems like those we have are common with cooperatives/condominiums and their management companies.  It takes an alert board to keep a management company in line.  But how many people have what it takes to do this?  I don't.  Thankfully, the president of our co-op does, and I will help her keep this complex on track until a new generation of people are ready to take on the mantle of running this place.

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Right now, I attend board meetings as Mario.  But after this Spring's public meeting, I plan to attend more of them as Marian.  This will give me more time during the week to live life as my authentic self. Even if I spend much of my time with RQS as Mario, I have found that I need to get out as Marian to live a balanced life.  I can only imagine what it will be like when I attend my first public board meeting as Marian....