Not much to say today

 

 

Today was a dreary day, where I wanted to stay in bed all day.  And for the most part, that's what I did until I had to get up and start taking care of laundry for the week.

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Normally, I try to get my weekly chores done on Sunday, as I reserve Saturday for being with friends. Some of these Saturdays, you'll find Mario going out on a date, hoping to make another love connection with someone who could become special.  Other Saturdays, you'll find me spending time with a friend, just to keep from getting too lonely.

Given that it was wet and foggy outside, I decided to go outside as Mario - only to shop for a few lunches I could eat during the week at work, and to go downstairs to wash a load of colors.  (I can do whites during the week, as I now spend 5-6 days per week as Marian, and don't need them as much.) Soon, I expect that I'll see the new resident in both of my modes.  But I was glad I didn't see her today, as her dad was helping her move in. (He used to work on my car until I got better scheduling of regular maintenance from other shops.)  Sometime later this year, I'll see if she wants to be part of the board, as she suggested that she'd be willing to help out with things.

Towards mid evening, I worked with a fellow board member, and showed her the ropes of using zoom for a meeting.  Now, she has the tools to run a meeting without my assistance - and that's a load off my back.

Sunday tends to be my day to take care of weekend chores.

This is what my laundry basket feels to me at the end of the week.  With the exception of one day (or two) which I must go out in the world as Mario, virtually all the clothes in my laundry basket are for Marian. This is a good thing, as I am able to live most of my week as a woman, and enjoy my time both as Marian and as Mario.

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Today, I had 2 things on the docket.  First, I had to buy pre-made meals for lunch at the office. Then, I had to do some laundry so that I'd have something clean to wear during the week.  However, I neglected to do some items, and this will force me to do another load later in the week.  But I digress....

This was not the day to go out and do anything.  It was rainy when I went out to Wegmans, and I ended up spending more money than I planned.  To make things worse, I wanted to get some extra cash from the ATM, and Chase's machines were down at my branch.  (I have no idea whether the whole network was down or not, but this is an inconvenience that justifies my maintenance of more than one checking account for cash withdrawals.

When I finally got around to doing laundry, I forgot a few tops that needed washing.  This is the type of problem a transgal has if she builds up a wardrobe geared to be an office worker, and suddenly finds work in a factory like setting.  Although I have a couple of tops on order, I have to keep all of then clean for work.  So I use all 5 tops I have, and wash them on weekends.  Unfortunately, I forgot to wash some of these tops, so it neccisitated use of a second wash cycle to get these tops ready for the coming week.  It is similar to what I needed to do when presenting as a male.  However, I couldd get away with doing things as a male that I can't do as a female.  So, I'm extra cautious when keeping up my appearances as a female.

Hopefully, by next week I'll have settled into a simple weekend routine.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Today's entry is a short one, as I don't have much time to write....

Now that I work 5 days per week, I don't have much time to get things done.  So, I have to take care of my errands at night and on weekends the way the majority of people do in this world.  It is a shock to me, as I haven't had to live according to a "normal" schedule for years. Yet, I plan to adjust to my new normal for a while to earn a few dollars and bulk up my bank account.

When the day began, I took it easy for a while.  I sent a message to Vicki and suggested getting together. And she had the time to do so - today.  Since I didn't expect that she'd be available until later in the week, I adjusted my plans for the day and scheduled dinner at a Mexican joint that I've gone to several times before.

I took care of little things such as laundry during the day, and finally got around to changing the sheets on my bed.  (Don't ask how long they've been on the bed.  Often, there is a pile of stuff on the side of the bed where a partner used to lay, and it gets in the way of me changing the sheets.)  And then, I changed into Marian mode for dinner.

Dinner with Vicki was nice.  But it was more expensive than expected.  It seems as if we're seeing inflation hit the restaurants that are surviving the pandemic.  In suburbia, limiting restaurants to 50% capacity has forced these establishments to raise prices subtly to help them cover their costs.  In today's case, a dinner which we expected could cost us $40-$50 each cost us $70 each.  Assuming that this is part of a trend, I expect that we will see fewer people being able to afford to dine out at the end of the pandemic, as the fewer surviving restaurants will be able to charge higher prices to the fewer people who are able to pay those prices to eat out.

Twas the day of the snowstorm, and all through the apartment.

 

Sooner or later, I'll have to get rid of all the clutter in my apartment. What you can see in this picture makes the place less cluttered than it is today.  I've just been too lazy to pick up my mess, something I've been for about a year now, for reasons I don't plan to discuss here.

When I started this entry, it was the day before the storm.  However, I scrapped what I started to write, and left only this picture taken several years ago in my apartment. I figure that I have a little less than two weeks left to take care of what I need to take care of before my schedule gets screwed up.

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Although I can't say that I woke up with the sun, I can say that I woke up before my alarms started to make their noises.  I was glad of this, as my doctor's receptionist called to reschedule today's appointment.  So now, I have an appointment on a traditional doctor's day to play golf - a Wednesday. But to be a little more serious, I was glad that I didn't have to try to call the doctor's office to change my appointment.

When I finally looked outside, there was only a couple of inches of snow on the ground.  If I didn't know that the forecast said that the worst of the snow was expected around noon today, I'd wonder what all the commotion was about.  It's amazing how some people could be though. I received a call from a neighbor hinting that I should move my car to make it easier for the plows to shovel snow to the area behind my spot.  (If I had thought about it, I'd have parked in a visitors' spot last night, but I'm not in the mood to clear off my car, just to move it to another spot today.)  This is the first time I have received such a call, and I was a little leery of moving the car while it was snowing - so I didn't.  (This woman called me a couple more times until there was way too much snow on the ground to bother with moving the car.)

By the time 5:00 pm came around, there was at least 12" of snow on the ground.  This is when I started doing something constructive for the day - Laundry.  So I figured that this was as good a time as ever to perform a task I've been putting off for a week.  And this was the high point of my day....

 

I did plenty of nothing, and nothing's plenty for me!

Today was a day that didn't lend itself to going outside.  The forecast called for a wintry mix, with about 3/8" of ice being deposited on everything.  This was not weather to drive in, and this made it a good day to stay inside - which I did.

Although I could have done a load of laundry, that would have meant getting dressed.  That's something which was not in the cards for today.  So the hamper continued to hold a load of clothes which could get done at anytime this week.  Given the choice between getting out of a warm bed on a cold day or staying comfortable, you can guess what my choice would be.

Later in the afternoon, I got an email asking me whether an 11:45 start time for speech therapy would be good for me, and I responded with a "Yes."  When I checked my schedule, I noticed a meetup I had scheduled for a Saturday afternoon in January - I had a timing conflict.  Sadly, I will miss this foodie meetup.  But I will continue on my path to developing a more feminine voice - and that's the more important thing to do in my opinion.

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Watching the news today, I become more and more afraid that we are heading down the path to a not so civil war.  Most of us would admit that we are in the middle of a cultural war.  America is polarized as it has been in only one other period in history, and that ended with the Civil War.  Whether or not one is a Republican or Democrat, this is not a good sign for us transgender folk.

The more I find out about what's going on in Washington, the more I worry.  In the past, I'd merely get upset at the "opposition party".  But now it gets my blood boiling.  I have to change the channel as soon as I turn it on.  And that's not good.  We are in the cross hairs of part of the GOP's base, and many of their proposed laws are aimed directly at us.

How do I deal with it?  More and more, I seek the entertainment that I grew familiar with when I was younger - shows like the original Perry Mason still make me feel that there is some form of justice in the world.  Old Westerns also serve the same function for me - the difference between right and wrong was easy to see, and one knew that good would triumph over evil.  Even though John Wayne in real life was not a man I could easily respect, I loved what his "cowboy" characters stood for - especially when John Ford was the director of the film.

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Like many people whose views I disagree with, I also yearn for the simplicity of the 1950's.  Unlike these people, I support the ideals which America stood for back then, and not the reality of what America was.  When I look at the old TV shows, I see part of what America could be, as well as by omission, things we need to fix for our future.

Right now, I enjoy the idea of relaxing and doing nothing.  Reality has a habit of catching up with us way too quickly for comfort....


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And if you've gotten this far....

Merry Christmas to you and your families!

My day started with a chat while listening to Perry Mason

The one routine I try to keep every morning is to turn the TV to an "Oldies TV Station" and watch Perry Mason.  Occasionally, I'll sit at my computer desk and read my email wile the show is playing.  But I try to never get into a conversation while the show is on - it's a moment of sanity in the insane world I have to deal with.

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This morning, I was responding to email and messages while the show was on. And I got into an online chat with a friend while "my show" was playing.  I was not yet awake enough to chat on the phone, so I deferred the chat until later on.  And then, I went back to bed and rested for a while.Later on, I got moving and had a bite to eat.  Part of me wishes I didn't, as my scale says that I've gained a bit of weight since Thanksgiving and that I must get back in the habit of eating normally.

In the online chat, the subject of my former cruise partner (FCP) came up.  I mentioned that the main reason I cut off all communication with her was that I do not like being ordered to do things, and that she was trying to order me around as if I were her child.  You might recall (from my previous blog) that I got annoyed when she started to tell me how to cut a piece of steak. Well, I grew up in a household where my mother knew no limits of privacy nor where her limits of control were.  It is no coincidence that I moved over an hour away from my parents.  Unlike my brother, I never had to endure any unannounced visits from my parents, nor did I have to worry about my mother going into my closets, cabinets, or drawers when I was not around.  FCP pushed my buttons, and when she went too far, I knew that I would never go on another cruise with her again.

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I got delayed in doing laundry this afternoon, as I got into a conversation with our co-op's superintendent.  He's a good fellow, and we found out that some information regarding his employment wasn't transferred to the new managing agent from the old agent.  This put the co-op in an awkward situation, as we were not aware of this issue before our end-of-year meeting.  So we will be addressing this issue next month, in order to resolve the issue in an appropriate manner.

Once my laundry was done, I drove to Beacon for the dining meetup.  I was 15 minutes late, and was not able to sit with the main group of people.  Instead, I ended up sitting with one lady, her husband, and a couple of their friends.  This was the first time I got the chance to speak to this lady without her brother being around, as well as the first time I've gotten the chance to speak with this woman's husband.  It might have been fortunate circumstance that I arrived at the restaurant a little late after all.

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On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to find some sweats for my dad.  Unfortunately, the Fishkill store was sold out of everything near my dad's size.  So I may have to order some sweats online and hope they get here before Xmas....

Weekends aren't what they used to be.

No picture can do this artwork justice - it is too large to be captured in a single picture.  To appreciate it, one has to get close to these giant pieces of rolled steel, walk around them and inside them to appreciate them for what they are.  As much as I think the artist (Richard Serra) is an asshole for his reaction to people who rejected his work (Tilted Arc) because it interfered with with their movement in a congested area of Manhattan, I will give him credit for having made interesting, engaging art with large pieces of steel.

You might be asking: why am I starting off with this picture?  It's because my weekend started off with a museum visit with GFJ.  And it's something we used to do more of in the early days of our relationship.

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GFJ and I planned to take the same train into NYC.  That meant that she had to make it to Beacon by 11:00 for an 11:10 train, and I would have to make it to Cortlandt 30 minutes later.  GFJ was expecting that I would meet her in Croton, and was very surprised that I got on the train 1 stop earlier.  We had a pleasant conversation on our way into NYC, with me making commentary on the little things I've noticed in my countless number of commutes into the city.

You'll note in the above picture, that the sign for the Museum of the American Gangster is almost an afterthought in the picture.  This is by design.  The museum is in a small part of the building which houses a Theater, a Bar, and a group of residences.  Who'd suspect the history that this building has unless s/he has taken the museum tour.

The museum of the American Gangster is a small museum with few artifacts.  If you were to go there and look at the main exhibit floor, you'd think you were being ripped off for the $20 admission fee.  And I wouldn't blame you for feeling this way.  I've been to museums which have had many more and better artifacts related to the American Mobs and Prohibition. (For example, one museum I visited has the car that Bonnie and Clyde were in when they were gunned down.  Another had bricks of grape juice, which when "improperly" stored and handled according to cautionary warnings on the box, would "accidentally" turn from grape juice into wine. And the Museum of the American Constitution in Philadelphia had a "Whiskey 8" motorcar on display.)

There are two redeeming things about this museum.  The first is that the is housed in a former brothel, and the tour walks you from the brothel area, through the speakeasy (now a legal bar), and ends in the ballroom of the speakeasy where the "Swells" danced the night away.  The other thing about the museum was the tour guide.  She gave a reasonably comprehensive history of the American Mob up to the 1970's in a 60 minute tour, and provided tidbits that my readings on the subject did not cover. (I love reading about vice in America, and enjoy visiting places such as "Miss Dolly's" (in Ketchikan, AK) for their immoral history.  (BTW - I missed "Miss Dolly's" on my trip to Alaska because of my then ignorance, and will go to that museum if I get there again.)

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Once we were done with the museum, we went to Chinatown, ending up at the Nom Wah Tea Parlor.  And that's where we gorged on Dim Sum.  YUM!   By the time we finished our meal, we had a single "meal sized" egg roll left, and I asked for it to be put into a doggie bag to go.  However, I wasn't really into bringing this treat home with me, nor was GFJ into doing it due to the length of our trips home.  If I had seen a trash receptacle, I'd have deposited the egg roll there.  But I ended up doing something that someone was grateful for.  There was a homeless person on the street begging for money - and he was very glad that I gave him that egg roll.  I guess providence was guiding me today without me knowing it.

Next, GFJ was interested in seeing Rockefeller Center's Christmas Tree.  So we took the train to Times Square, and walked to 50th street and over to 5th avenue.  The area was jam packed with people, and it was almost impossible to get a view of the tree.  But we were able to get a couple of pictures before moving on.  When we reached 5th avenue, we couldn't move any further.  Saks 5th Avenue's store Christmas Light display was causing people to pack themselves in like sardines to watch the animated display of lights.  When the active display ended, we could barely get into a position to make it to St. Patrick's Cathedral.

The last time I was at St. Pat's, the place was under renovation.  Tonight, I can appreciate why so many people consider the cathedral a special place (from a non religious viewpoint). It is a beautiful building.  But it is not a church I'd want to attend - if one were to attend services there, one is merely a face in the crowd.  This is not the feeling I want when I go to church.  About 20 minutes later, we left the church and went back to Grand Central for our train home.  We got there with about 10 minutes to spare before the train left - and had a relaxing ride up the river with nothing serious being said.

All in all it was a pleasant day, and it was the type of thing we should have done more often to keep things special between the two of us.

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Sunday came early, and I didn't.  I should say that the sun came out, and I turned off all of my alarms then slept until the afternoon.  This, I expect, should screw up my sleep patterns for the next week or two.

There was a basket of clothes to be washed, a basket of clean clothes to put away, and a pile of folded clothes on the other side of the bed waiting to go into dresser drawers - all waiting for me to take care of them.  Since my cleaning lady would be expected to come this Thursday for her monthly visit,  this would be the perfect day to straighten things up, pick up a Christmas gift or two, and make some productive use of my time.  But did I do most of this?  Nooooooo!

For the most part, I lounged around all day until 6:30 pm or so.  Eventually, I made it to BJ's where I didn't find what I was looking for (a pair of sweats I could give to my dad on his birthday and on Xmas), but still ended up spending $90 or so.  On the way home from there, I chatted with GFJ, and then picked up stuff at the supermarket before going home for the night.

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I don't feel bad about today's inactivity because I have a busy week ahead of me.  Tomorrow, I'll have an Arts Westchester meeting followed by a Fun Time Friends meetup. Tuesday will have me seeing people for a Census Bureau position, then attending the last co-op board meeting of the year.  Wednesday will be relatively free, as I only have dinner with the Beacon Dining Meetup Group on my schedule.  Thursday is dedicated to Lunch with BXM, followed by games in Yonkers.  (I may use the gap between these two events to either see a movie or to pass my my brother's place to check on things.) And Friday will likely be my weekly stint at the LGBT Center, followed by dinner with Patty.  Now, if only I could find some time to see about applying for Global Entry (and scheduling an in-person appointment), so that I can get a TSA Trusted Traveler number and expedited customs clearance when I return on an international flight.










  

A weekend whose plan changed before it really started

Considering how busy GFJ and I would be this Thanksgiving, we decided that we'd get together for a date sometime after her two sons left for home.  With the expected snow to come on Sunday, we changed our plans, so that we could see a movie on Saturday night, then go out to eat.

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Saturday came, and I didn't bother getting up until noon.  Not only didn't I have much to do.  But a couple of books that I placed on hold with the library had yet to come in.  So my original plan of spending the day as Marian was completely scotched because of the change of plans mentioned in the prior paragraph.  That was OK with me, as I hate getting dressed, only to switch into my alternate presentation for the second half of the day.

Around 3 pm, I left for Newburgh where Midway was playing.  It was the only film that the two of us could agree on - either she had seen the film before, or it didn't hold interest to her.  So we agreed to meet at 4 pm, and I started my drive at 3:10.  Why do I mention exact times?  Well, I got stuck behind a couple of tourists on Route 9, and couldn't push the speed limit as much as I'd like.  (This is just as well, as I know I drive a little over the limit at times.) But what bothered me is that when I crossed the bridge, there was a big traffic jam just beyond old exit 10.  So I bailed out before the jam, and took back roads to the theater.  Luckily, I had taken most of these roads at least once before, and knew enough to follow the convoy from old exit 10 to a spot near old exit 7a, ending up less than a block away from the theater.

I arrived at the theater 5 minutes late, and we sat down to watch the film just as the movie started.  Perfect timing - we didn't have to sit through the trailers.  Midway is an enjoyable war flick, but I have one unavoidable criticism: They had to use CGI animation for all of the external aircraft carrier, US/Japanese aircraft, and air battle scenes, as there are no longer enough aircraft from either side to simulate the air battles.  With this being said, I had to give the film makers credit for making things look as real as possible.  If I weren't so familiar with CGI renditions of real life objects, I wouldn't have thought about CGI being used in the film.

When the film ended, GFJ noted that the air battles had too much gun fire.  Part of me wanted to say "Duh!" but I didn't want to upset her - she probably compromised to find a film that I might like.  Instead, I said that we should go for dinner - and it was off to the Chinese Buffet nearby. All too soon, dinner ended and we had to go our separate ways. 

Later in the evening, my brother responded to a message I sent him.  And he surprised me by telling me that he finally bought a new phone - a Motorola Z4.  I think he'll be very happy with it.  If I didn't already have the Z3, I'd be buying the Z4 for less than I paid for the Z3.

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Sunday came, and I woke up early enough to go to church.  As much as I don't plan to be a regular church goer, there is something I like in the old rituals that gives me comfort.   Due to the nature of religion, change comes slowly to the traditional service structure, and it's easy to pick up where one left off.  If one is Catholic, you might remember when the church gave its approval for services to be given in the vulgar (read: common) tongue.  In my church, the idea of "sharing the peace" was cribbed from changes occurring in the Catholic church at that time. 

Sometimes, during a church service, my mind veers away from the service itself and onto simple ideas I wouldn't put together outside of a serene setting.  Today, my mind started focusing on the word "communion" and how it relates to "community."  From there, I connected the dots to the word "Communism" and I could see the disconnect between many "Conservative Christians" and the belief structure contained in the scriptures.

John Calvin posited that if you were going to be blessed by God in the afterlife, that God would be rewarding you in this life.  Prosperity would become an indicator of being blessed. In short, we have the beginnings of the false gospel of prosperity that many people believe in.  Today, many Evangelicals have given up the underlying message of Christianity (Feed the hungry, heal the sick, help the poor, etc.) and are doing the exact opposite. They are judging people without knowing the circumstances which affect those in need.

Communion, Community and Communism - What is the link connecting these words?  It is a community coming together to take care of its needy.  Sadly, the word "Communism" has been contaminated by the flawed political system and flawed economic theory that is associated with that word.  The Red Scare of the 1950's still haunts us today.  Use the words "Communism" or "Socialism" and one triggers up cultural memories of an era where America's propaganda machine labeled the Eastern Bloc as Atheists without morals or ethics. If one lived in this bloc before the Soviet Union fell, one would see his/her government as a problem, and see America's propaganda as just that.  They would feel that America has no soul - we were caught in crass commercialism and materialism.

When the service ended, I was again reminded of the healthy version of these words.  Communion - coming together to share ideas which make us better as individuals and as a group.  Community - being part of a larger group, and not needing to be alone in this world. Communism - the idea that we voluntarily share with others so that their needs can be taken care of.   No matter what that faith is, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc., a healthy faith teaches us that we are all part of something larger than we are, and that we should take an active part in improving that larger whole.

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After church, I took a quick trip to the grocery store in advance of the incoming storm.  Unlike many people, all I needed was enough stuff to get me through a day or two. When the storm passes, the roads will be quickly cleared, and I can go out again.  Until then, I might as well do another load of laundry.