Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

 

"We will be closed permanently as of Friday, May 27th."

The above notice was posted on the window of the former coffee station at the train station I used to commute from.  And strangely enough, I miss the routine of going to work at a job I "sorta" liked. 

- - - - - -

This May, I'll have been separated from my job at the bank for 9 years.  And I don't miss what the job turned into at the end.  My last major assignment was a no-win situation with a person who did the work of 4 people, but wouldn't explain what she was doing so that she could be managed.  In fairness, she made herself indispensable, but at the expense of the people assigned to manage projects depending on her work.  

Much has changed in the past few years since I left my position with the bank.  My once useful skills are now obsolete, and I understand what those former steel workers felt when their mills closed down. Yet, I only have myself to blame for my skills becoming obsolete, as I can only blame those in dead one horse towns for not leaving before the one main employer there had the chance to shut down. It doesn't take much to see the writing on the wall.  But it does take some effort to heed the warning (as I did too late) that writing gives before disaster strikes.

- - - - - -

I see America in a culture war that no one individual started.  Instead, it is a natural reaction to the McCarthyism of the 1950's.  In the 1950's the "Red Scare" was used to manipulate people to fear Communists in their midst.  People were blacklisted by accusations alone, even though it was their right to advocate for America to use a different form of economic system.  (I won't get into discussions of Stalinism, and other good reasons to be concerned about Soviet problems infecting the United States in this post.)  Communism and Socialism became things to fear.  In the 1930's, we had "Nothing to Fear, but Fear Itself."  In the 1950's, we were taught to fear everything, and to "Duck and Cover" for whatever good that would do.

By the time the 1960's came around, we were getting into the Vietnam War, and our youth started to wonder why we were wasting American lives.  Now, there was a rift in American society.  Half said: "America, love it or leave it." The other half said that the most patriotic thing we could do is to point out when a country is going wrong.  It was a good thing to challenge leadership when it is wrong.  In short, it is a good thing NOT to follow leadership when our leaders are taking the wrong path.

Since this time, America has gone through multiple political cycles, its pendulum swinging back and forth between conservative and progressive periods of political dominance.  Unfortunately, the conservative movement has now gained power by distortions of truth and by outright lies.  Honest conservatives have been pushed out of their own party, as the radicals seek only power in order to crush the progressives and what they stand for.  These radicals want to make America look like it did in the 1950's, a land where people of color were 3rd class citizens, a land where women took 2nd place to the males in their lives, and a land where the LGBTIQ population had to live in shame and fear.

- - - - - - 

As I write this post, I am thinking of last night's State of the Union (SOTU) address and its rebuttal.  The President's speech was one of unity and of goals.  The GOP rebuttal was one of fear, accusing the progressive movement of starting the culture war.  All the scary symbolic words were used in a way that I might buy into the message had I consumed a diet of right -wing propaganda. At least, I knew enough to tune out the GOP's spokesperson, as I couldn't bear to hear her lies and distortions of the truth, given her past history.

Years ago, Triumph of the Will showed the world the danger of the cult of Hitler.  Roughly, 80 years later, we saw similar imagery and themes used by a now (thankfully) former president to get himself elected. White Americans who feel victimized, humiliated, and continually threatened by (too rapid) changes without a social safety net to depend on bought into his message of empowerment and reclamation of past entitlement status.

Sadly, the message coming from the radical right is one of fear.  They will put us transgender people back into the closet (at best) and make us fear for our safety if they can.  If they have power, many in their ranks will feel empowered to victimize anyone who doesn't fit the social models presented in shows like "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet", "Father Knows Best", and "Leave It To Beaver." There was no way where LGBTIQ people could be presented in a positive light, and no room for people of color to be seen as equal members of society.

- - - - - -

So what happened last night?  In short, we have seen the definition of what is at stake in the culture war. We can not be a reasonably democratic republic if we regress to an America based on 1950's American values. We can not be free if we are forced to live with 1950's cultural norms.  And, we can not be free if our bodies are not ours to control.

Luckily, most Americans are not supportive of the goals of the radical right.  But they must continuously be reminded (in a soft way) what is at stake if the radicals win.  We must take advantage of the tools protected in our constitution, and use them as effectively as the radical right has, turning their arguments against them at every opportunity.  

Years ago, Charles Chaplin lampooned Hitler in The Great Dictator. He said that he never would have made this film had he known about the horrors of the 3rd Reich. I feel that it is important to be able to laugh at authoritarians, as they do not know what they can do about being seen as pathetic caricatures of powerful people. So, I go back to the SOTU address and the radical right's politician who disrupted the address to call the president a liar.  If I had been the president, I'd have responded in a way similar to Groucho Marx gag from Duck Soup, and said: "I'm fighting for your freedoms, which is something that you'd never do."   

 

The more things change, the more they stay the same....

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Tax Paperwork Collection - a short post

 

At this time of year, most of us should have received all needed tax forms, and be ready to file our Federal and State tax forms.  In my case, I have enough paperwork coming in from enough places that I have to check each sheet against a list I've made to insure that I have everything needed for my accountant. Since my brother takes care of a the finances of a joint investment we own, I end up waiting for an extra month before sending paperwork to my accountant.

This year, I have to ask my account a simple question.  Does it make sense for me to drop the maximum amount I can contribute into a Roth IRA?  I'm not sure of where the stock market is headed, but I know that I want the tax advantages of a Roth IRA, as I will not need the principal invested for at least 5 years. (It makes sense for me to work part time, so that I can put money into this type of IRA.)

The big question I have to ask of myself: Do I want to work part time after I reach the age where I can collect Social Security?  What are the tax consequences?  How much more paperwork will I have to deal with if I do so?  (I can only imagine the headaches I'll face if I ever change my name....)

Monday, February 20, 2023

A long weekend with RQS, with little being done.

 

I ended up starting my visit to RQS on the coldest fay of the year so far in NYC.  Night time temperatures before wind chill factoring were in the low teens, and neither of us wanted to go out in the cold. Although I had to fight some traffic, it was an easy ride to her area, and I was able to find a nearby parking spot within a couple of minutes of arriving in her area. This was a good thing, as the air outside felt as if it was in the single digits.  This was one time that I wasn't traveling as Marian.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and the temperature started to warm up.  Yet, it wasn't warm enough to want to stay outside for long, so we only ventured outdoors to get dinner and dessert.  We caught a bus to a nearby restaurant and had a mice meal of Veal Ossobuco over Risotto.  YUM!  RQS was surprised that dinner cost as much as it did after tax and tip.  So she decided to buy some pastries for us to have for dessert. Luckily, we were able to wait for the return bus inside the pastry shop, so we were relatively comfortable when we got home.

- - - - - -

Normally, Sunday would be the last day of our weekend together.  However, the parking spot I had didn't require me to move my car until early Tuesday morning. So I was able to stay an extra day.  As a result, we were able to visit Chelsea Market in Manhattan.  Although this is more a place to eat than one to buy high end food, we did find a couple of diversions - one of which being a bookstore.  (I ended up buying a book for myself and a book to give her for Valentine's day - she already knows of the tickets I bought her for an A.J. Croce concert to be held early next month.)

- - - - - -

Monday was a day on the bonus plan, and we finished our binge watch of HBO's Perry Mason series.  RQS is hooked on this series and on The Newsroom.  (The 1st episode of the latter got her hooked.)  Unfortunately, the day was too short, and I still needed to do things at home.  So it was with a touch of sadness that I had to go home.

- - - - - -

Do I wish I could have spent time as Marian?  YES!  But it wouldn't have been practical for this weekend.  And, because I haven't heard back from an acquaintance in DC, I'll be spending all of my time there in Mario mode.  AARGH!  At least, RQS wasn't the person suggesting this.  Instead, I made the decision, as it made my efforts to pack for a 5 day trip to DC much easier than packing for a Marian/Mario trip.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

It looks like only Mario will be going on this trip - a short post.

 

A while back, I contacted two of my TG friends to let them know that I'd be in DC soon, and would love to get together with them.  Unfortunately, one of these friends is between two trips and would be unable to meet me that weekend I'm there.  However, I haven't heard back from the second friend, and feel that I have to write her off for this trip.  And this means that I might as well travel as Mario, making packing for the trip much simpler.

I'll miss being Marian on this trip, but it makes more sense to travel as Mario and carry much less with me.  It will be nice to spend time with RQS sightseeing, and again meeting her cousin and his wife.  This makes our trip more than just worthwhile, as we need to get away from home more often than we do.

Hopefully, RQS and I will take another trip later this year, but this one having me in Marian mode for the whole trip..

Saturday, February 18, 2023

A quick word of warning.

 

I'm not going to say too much today.  At the time I wrote this, our former president is using our transgender community as the target for MAGA hatred.  This disgusts me, as I don't like to see any group targeted for others' hate.  But, as they used to say in a kids' game: "Tag, you're it."

Unlike most LGB people, it's hard for many of us to go stealth.  Most of us can only hope to blend in as adults.  For children, it is even worse, as many are now unable to get the medical and psychological treatment they need for gender issues - governments have made these treatments illegal.

We have a war to fight.  But how to best do so?  I'd love to hear your feelings on this issue of vital importance to us.

Friday, February 17, 2023

Shopping has changed since the beginning of the pandemic.

 

Before the pandemic hit, I was accustomed to local malls and standalone stores being open to 9-9:30 pm, and many Walmarts open 24x7.  The best times for shopping were often the hour just before a store closed, or late at night, in the case of a 24x7 Walmart.  This has changed quite a bit since the stores reopened to their "new normal" hours.

Today, I lost track of time, and left to visit the mall where RQS and I were last weekend.  I figured that I'd go back to Burlington and buy the 2 dresses I was looking at on that visit.  So off to Rockland county I went, and I found the two dresses in the store as I expected.  At this point, I noticed it was 6:30, and thought I had enough time to make it to Lane Bryant in Paramus. So, I again got in my car, and proceeded to my next destination.

On the way down, I encountered a driver who did not want to let me into the correct exit lane, leaving Route 17 for Route 4 Eastbound.  Although I was signaling my intent, this clown almost caused an accident, as I cut in front of him just before being forced to exit in the wrong direction.  Of course, this clown decided to play a game with his brights, and I ignored him.  Once on Route 4, I signaled to get into a traffic lane, and this clown again decided to play games.  I can only imagine being a passenger in his car!  (Imagine the road rage this person must have been displaying....)  Once he was gone, I breathed a sign of relief before doing the half clover leaf across Route 4 to get to Lane Bryant.

In the past, this store would be open until 9 pm every day except Sunday.  Now, the store has a 7:00 pm closing time.  I'm glad that I only planned to look at some of the merchandise in the store, as I was not in the mood yet to buy a women's blazer that I found online.  Since the store had just closed, I figured that I could come back another day, and proceeded back home for the evening.

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Broadway with Vicki #2 - a short post

Last night, it was dinner with Vicki #1.  Tonight, it was Broadway with Vicki #2.  One of these days, I'll have to find a way to get these two women together in the same place at the same time.  But until then....

- - - - - -

Today started with me staying in bed until almost noon. And then, I took care of some bill paying before getting ready to see Vicki #2 in the city.  Around 3:00, I got up and prepared myself to go out.  Even then, I didn't allocate enough time to take the train in from Cortlandt station.  Instead, I ended up going to Croton-Harmon, where I paid twice what I needed to in order to park, as I entered the wrong spot number when paying for my parking spot.  At least, I was able to catch the express train into NYC.

Arriving at Grand Central, I decided to take a look at what they now call Grand Central Madison / LIRR East Side Access.  Unfortunately, I didn't get much of a look, as the path to the tracks went for several blocks underground before reaching the escalators that would take me to track level.  As a result, I abandoned this exploration to get a burger at Shake Shack - a big mistake.  

If you haven't been to Grand Central in a while, most of the true seating in the dining area has been removed, so that vagrants do not find a comfortable home in which to rest.  Since there are almost no "affordable" places anymore where one can sit down and eat at GCT, I decided to get a burger at Shake Shack. This was a mistake, as I waited for about 10 minutes for my burger to get cooked.  I'd have done better by picking up one of the pre-made sandwiches on the other side of food court and eating that sandwich standing up.  Luckily, I knew that it was only 90 seconds to Times Square on the shuttle, and another 10 minutes to reach the theater where I'd meet Vicki.

Vicki looks so much nicer, now that she wears a cranial prosthetic (read: wig).  But I'm not going to mention it anymore to her, as this shouldn't be a big deal for either of us.  But I digress.  Vicki mentioned that her partner had already seen this play, and she thought of me as a partner for half price tickets.  It took me a while to find Vicki, but when I did,  we went inside to see Hadestown.  I'm not normally a fan of musicals, but I am glad I saw this one.  It tells an ancient story in an up-to-date manner.  Would I see this play again?  No.  But I might recommend it to someone who likes musicals.

All too soon, it was time to go home.  Vicki took her car, and I took the local to Croton.  I was glad to make it home when I did.  My bra was starting to get uncomfortable, and like most women, I couldn't wait to strip it off when I got home for the night....


Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Dinner with Vicki #1 - a short post

 


The original Lefteris Gyro in Tarrytown.  This is one of my favorite go-to places when I want Greek food, and the place where I've gone with Vicki #1 most often when we want Greek food. I've had a hankering for this cuisine for a while, and it was about time to go back to sate this craving.

- - - - - -

Last night, I wasn't able to get much sleep.  So I was concerned that I would be over tired by the evening came.  There were only two things on my docket for today - fixing the problem with my lab test bill, and having dinner with Vicki #1. When my alarm rang at 8 am, I simply hit the snooze button (figuratively) and didn't get out of bed until 11 am.  Since I was still very tired, I tried a nap for a while.  But I had to be fully awake for the first item on my docket - the phone call to the lab test company to deal with a billing issue.

Around 3:45, I finally called the lab test company and waited for 45 minutes for a human to get on the line. This was the 3rd time I reached out to the firm, and I reached a friendly person.  Once I explained the situation (based on information from my prior 2 calls), the lady saw that my Medicare insurance number was recorded incorrectly.  But even worse, Medicare was not my primary health plan in their records.  Instead, the insurance company associated with my former employer was listed as my primary insurance company, with no secondary insurance company on file.  So, I got the lady to correct this problem, and list Medicare as my primary insurance provider and my Part-N provider as my secondary.

When I was done with the Lab Test company, it was time to get showered and dressed to meet Vicki. On my way out the door, my next door neighbor complimented me on the dress I was wearing.  It was nice to know that I look nice when presenting as a female.  But I had no time to chat - I had to get to Vicki's house.  By the time I reached Vicki, I was 30 minutes late, and was glad to have warned her that I was going to be at her place by 6:00.  About 15 minutes later, we were at Lefteris Gyro, ready to enjoy a nice Greek dinner.  As usual, we had a great chat over dinner, and all too soon it was time to go home for the evening.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Scheduling my life

 

This is a sample page taken from my online calendar.  It shows the appointments I've made where I show myself as Marian and the appointments where I show myself as Mario.  You'll notice that most of the time, you'll find me out and about as Marian (shown in green). While at other times, I am out as Mario (shown in red).  If I didn't have this calendar, I'd screw things up and appear as Marian when people expect to see Mario.

Controlling where and when people see a selected gender presentation is essential for many transgender people who are testing the waters of being out to the world.  It is not always easy- especially when one is employed and has only so much time to present as one's authentic self.  However, my use of an online calendar makes this a manageable issue, instead of one that could blow up at any time.

There will always be some risk when one lives in both masculine and feminine spaces.  People are expected to live on one side of the gender binary or the other.  But this is not always possible for the transgender person who explores his/her authentic identity.  In my case, my neighbors do not much care which version of "Me" they see.  But I live in a "Blue State" that defends my right to live as my authentic self.  Others who live elsewhere might not be as lucky as I am.

Being retired gives me many advantages.  I do not have to worry about keeping a job.  Nor do I have to worry about rushing to change from Mario into Marian when I want to socialize as a female.  Another TG person I know has moved to a "Red State" and is often mistaken for a female when presenting as a male.  Yet, this person knows her limits and lives within them.  And we are among the lucky ones. Others live in fear of what their family, friends, and employers will do if their transgender natures are exposed.  I know of one transgender woman who flip-flopped between male and female presentations until she presented as female when her client expected to see a male.  How did things work out for her? Let's say that she still has a business and that she explores her transgender nature in public.

In the end, a schedule can be an essential tool for a transgender person.  If you haven't used one to keep track of your gender presentation for the day, you should consider using one.


Monday, February 13, 2023

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?


Sunday, February 12, 2023

Did someone recognize me from a prior job? (A short post)

 

Last night, RQS and I crossed the river and spent about 45 minutes seeing Pat, my former hypnotist at her care facility.  RQS could easily see how the two of us could get into long winded conversations, as well as how the two of us could be friends.  Today, however, was much less pleasant - it was the end of the weekend, and she had to go home.

Before RQS had to go home, we had planned to get pedicures.  So off to the nail salon we went, and we both enjoyed having our feet pampered. Once done there, we went for some pizza, and then it was off to the train station to drop her off.  Now that I was free for the rest of the day, my first stop was Walmart to pick up some cosmetics (Stick Concealer and Makeup Powder).  When I walked thru the aisles, I noticed that she shelves were picked clean.  Seeing another older woman in the same situation I was in, I started to chat with her - and we had a nice conversation for a few minutes.

My next stop was at Trader Joe's.  And this is where someone may have recognized me.  I couldn't find any bread crumbs, so I asked for help.  One of the employees (in passing) said that he thought he knew me, but I didn't respond to him.  The last thing I needed was to chat with someone in Marian mode about knowing each other in Mario mode.  To me, it's best not to have this conversation in a public place.  Yet, I wonder - could he place a name to my face?

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Some tickets I could get. Others, I could not.

 

 
 
Have you ever wondered what to get someone?  Given my age and RQS's age, neither of us needs more stuff.  Instead, we need experiences of the types we couldn't have while married to our late spouses.  Both of us enjoy travel together, and both of us enjoy going to live performances.  So I look out for musicians, comedians, and theatrical performances that I think the two of us will like, and get tickets for her as one of my gifts.

For Christmas, I bought tickets to "The Play That Goes Wrong", and she loved it.  For Valentine's Day, I bought tickets to see A.J. Croce singing songs written by his dad about 50 years ago. (I was a great fan of his dad, and his death shocked me when I was much younger than I am now.)  Hopefully, this performance will do justice to his dad's work.  And for RQS's birthday, I bought tickets for us to see Sarah Millican in concert.  Given that we both want to see this comedienne, I expect that we will have a great time.

However, not all tickets are easy to get.  Nor do many of the performers I like make it to the United States that often.  For example, RQS and I tried to get tickets to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, and their "nearby" USA concerts are already sold out.  Ouch.  And don't get me started on Ralph McTell. I don't remember when he last toured the states, and I would love to hear him perform Streets of London in person.

There are many performers I wish I could have seen while they were touring, or while they were alive. For example, I kick myself for not seeing Ennio Morricone when he was last in New York.  Now that he has passed away, I'll have to settle for the music he left behind.  Another performer I doubt I will get the chance to see is Astrud Gilberto.  Yes, "The Girl from Ipanema" is one of my favorite songs. Since she is in her 80's, I doubt she'll be in the NYC area again.

In life, it is the experiences that count.  And they can't take away the memories of those experiences we had - especially if they are cherished by the people we share them with.

Friday, February 10, 2023

Unused Tableware and Coincidences


Years ago, my late wife bought 28 table settings with the idea (expressed to me) that she could entertain her extended family at one sitting.  Unless someone has either a large family, or a large circle of acquaintances she entertains lately, as well as a dining area large enough to entertain them, I can't see this being a reasonable purchase. 

These place settings were purchased before I met my wife, and were never used while we were married.  About a year after she died, my girlfriend and I packed these table settings into two large Rubbermaid containers, and transported them to my brother's place for storage.  My intentions were to give these place settings to my niece when she got married.  But this was not to happen, as she got married in London and is living a minimalist lifestyle unlike that of her parents and grandparents.  These place settings ended up sitting in my brother's basement for over 25 years, and didn't need to be dealt with until now.

Recently, my brother decided to deal with long deferred maintenance on his money pit of a house.  One of the things he needed to take care of was fixing the foundation of his house and doing a fresh pour of cement in the basement of his house.  This meant that everything in the basement had to be cleared out. As a result, I decided to keep 6 place settings, and give the rest to charity.

So, I drove to my brother's place and sorted through these table settings, separating them into a set of 6 for me, and a set of 22 for the charity.  Once done with that, my brother and I went to a German Restaurant in Franklin Square.  I was looking for something tasty to eat, and I noticed the lack of Sauerbraten on the menu.  (This was the last dish my wife cooked for me before she was too weak to cook anything.)   Coincidentally, It was about this time of the year when she became too ill to go to work, and the severity of her illness couldn't be denied any longer.  My memories of my late wife were getting triggered right and left. Yet, it wasn't strong feelings of sadness I felt.  Instead, it was a feeling of letting go of the past.  Part of my wife was moving on to a (hopefully) better place.

Would my late wife approve of what I did?  Who knows?  But I'm hearing no complaints from the great beyond....


Thursday, February 9, 2023

If it weren't for things to do, I wouldn't get up - A short post.

 

Being a biological male, I have to deal with a problem.  Once one no longer has to go to work, one loses a reason to get up in the morning.  In my case, I could stay in bed for days at a time, if I didn't schedule things to justify getting up sometime during the day.  One of the things I try to do when I'm up is to think about future travel plans, as they give me a reason to keep getting up.

Lately, I've been trying to book as much travel as possible into my schedule, so that I always have something real to look forward to. Three trips are already scheduled for the year, and I am looking to schedule one or two more trips.  So far, I have trips to DC, California, and Bermuda planned, and may book a trip to the Bahamas by the end of the year.

The California and Bermuda trips will consist of 7 day cruises, and be on cruise lines (Princess and NCL) that I have both sailed on before and enjoyed very much.  However, if I book the Bahamas cruise, it will be on a new line, MSC, and I have heard mixed things about this cruise line.  The things that most people complain about are the uninspired food offerings. If I take this trip, it will likely be without RQS, as I'm not sure if she'd be ready to gamble more money on a trip she might not enjoy. As for me, it will be an opportunity to travel as Marian and relax a bit.

Right now, the Bahamas cruise is only something that keeps my mind busy.  And even if I never take that trip, it's a pleasant diversion....

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Valentine's Day Cards - a short post

 

A while back, I lost a Valentine's Day card I had bought for XGFJ.  (No, it was not the card above.) So I ended up buying her another card, relatively neutral in sentiment, as I wasn't sure about our relationship at the time.  Later on, I found that this was a problem for her, given things said by my former cruise partner in an angry exchange of words. So, my original card was lost in the mess on my desk until recently.

The other day, I decided to look for this card, as I would be spending Valentine's day with RQS, and thought that the card I originally bought for XGFJ would be perfect for RQS.  I found this card, intact and ready to be used.  (I'm glad that I didn't write anything in the card, as I would have had to go and find something I liked just as much.)  

Would you use an unused Valentine's Day card if you bought it for use with a former love, but now use it with a current love?  It's certainly not an engagement ring which should be sized for a woman's fingers.  So, is this being cheap?  Or, is this being frugal?

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Insurance Bills - I hate dealing with them.

 


The other day, I got a bill for services (Lab Tests) rendered in December.  Normally, this would not be a problem, save for one thing - the cost.  Knowing that Medicare (Parts A & B) plus my supplemental policy (Part N) should pay for all but my first $200 in expenses, I had to make some calls.

My first call was to the Lab Test company.  After going through automated response hell, I got a response that said: "Your insurance carrier has questions about the bill before it can make payment."  Well, I know that Medicare should have no questions, nor should my supplemental carrier.  So my next call would be to Medicare.

It took me much less time to reach a human at Medicare than expected.  After explaining my problem, the human at the other end found out that no bill was presented to them!  Finally, I had an idea what the problem might be - the bill was sent to the wrong carrier.  Now, it was back to the Lab Test company for more information.

I make my third call, and figure out how to get to a human at the lab test company.  A woman answered, and told me that they sent the bill to the insurance company with whom my former employer used to insure their employees.  (Although I had coverage with them, I used my Obamacare coverage, as it provided better benefits between January and July, when I started on Medicare  This had to be a factor in why other lab test bills got screwed up.)  I gave this woman my insurance information, and waited for her to pick up on the line again - and then, the line disconnected.  

Now, I was a bit upset because at least an hour of my time was wasted on this problem.  But I was calm when I reached another person at the lab test firm.  He told me that the woman from my previous call got the insurance number wrong when she refiled the bill for payment, and I would have to make yet another call the next day to get this problem fixed.  AARGH!

- - - - - -

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I know that my doctor's office must have something to do with this. (Minor, compared with the computer and data entry screw-ups from before.)  A while back, I asked her to see that all bills get presented first to Medicare when I turned 65.  Obviously, I think she didn't contact the lab test company - and that their records never got updated. Yet, I could be wrong about this.  I'm left feeling that America needs to scrap the system we now have and go to a single payer system.  Is this a panacea?  No.  We will have just as many problems with a monolithic health care system as we do with a system run by oligopolies.  But its complexities won't drive people away from getting health care. And that's something I am strongly in favor of.


Monday, February 6, 2023

A friend invited me to a Broadway play.

 

Recently, I got together with Vicki #2 to have a bite to eat, and a drink to go with it.  It was nice to see her again, as we hadn't gotten together in months.  I said that if she ever had a mid week break in her routine, that she should call me, so that we could get together.  That call came the other day....

Although Vicki has seen me once as Mario (I was with XGFJ at the time), she knows me as Marian, and that's the way I always go to see her.  It's pleasant to get together with a person who knows and accepts my authentic self, and I was pleasantly surprised when Vicki invited me to see a Broadway play.  At the time I'm writing this entry, Broadway theaters are having a half price sale, and she was able to snag orchestra tickets for $80.  Since this was in my price range, I said 'Yes' and we proceeded to set a time and place to meet.

I wouldn't have chosen this play.  But I'm always open to new experiences if they do not take me too far from my comfort zone.  So I'll reserve judgement until I've had the chance to see the play.

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Deciding how to get dressed can be hard for me - A short post.

 

For most people, it's easy to figure out how to get dressed for the day.  For me, things are a little more complicated.  First, I need to make sure of which gender presentation is expected of me that day. And only then can I make the next decision - what to wear.  Most of the time, this is a simple process.  If the day involves foul weather, strenuous work, or otherwise requires the presence of Mario, I dress as a male.  However, if the day allows or requires Marian's presence, I dress as a female. And then, I try to figure out what a cisgender female would likely wear that day.

Normally, I keep track of my future presentations by color coding entries in my online calendar.  But this doesn't always work for me, as I have to allow for days where I present as Marian for part of the day, then Mario for the other part of the day. So far, I don't recall many days where I start the day as Marian, switch to Mario, and then back to Marian.  But I'm pretty sure that I have had to do this switch on occasion.

As Marian, I try to wear dresses as often as possible.  RQS says that I'm more of a girly girl than she is.  In response, I remind her that she will always be the cisgender female in the relationship.  (Yes, I use other words.  But I use them to reinforce her femininity and  the idea that I can and will not compete with her true femininity.)  So far, she is comfortable with this.  But sometimes, I wonder....

Saturday, February 4, 2023

I am now well insured - A short post

 

Could you imagine what these two people would have done with proper travel insurance?  Neither of these two people expected to be diverted to Oz, when they expected to land in Kansas.  Mind you, I'd rather be in Oz than in Kansas as it is more likely to find a "Rainbow Flag" in Oz, than in Kansas.  😀

- - - - - -

I'm lucky that I thought to have my Alexa unit send me reminders today.  RQS and I did not have travel insurance in effect for our upcoming Bermuda cruise, and we declined insurance on the California Coast  cruise we just booked.  So we figured that it was time to buy a yearly travel insurance policy than to pay for a policy each time we cruise or take a long distance trip. And both of us took care of this task today.

Now that I had taken care of this task, it was time to pay some bills.  Luckily, I had enough money in the bank to cover my bills and some to spare.  Given that I'll be taking a trip to DC and a California cruise before the end of Spring, I now have to think of moving money around to conveniently pay for my trips from a single bank account.  (I hate draining savings accounts, but realize that I need to do so to afford some of the trips I want to take.)

- - - - - -

Once done with bill paying, it was time to go out and try to get some Tuesday swag from T-Mobile.  Unfortunately, they had run out of umbrellas, so I had to settle for a pair of gloves.  Just as I was done with T-Mobile, the president of my co-op called, and we discussed a zoom meeting to be held with the owner of the management company the co-op uses.  

Next, was a call to my brother.  After my wife died, a girlfriend and I packed up place settings for 28 people. (My wife always wanted to have a gathering for her once large family, and bought way too many place settings.)  I told my brother that I'd drop down to see him later in the week, and pick up a few place settings that I can eventually use in my apartment.  These place settings (and other things like Gravy Bowls) may never get used.  But I think I'd like the option of using some of the place settings that my late wife spent so much money to buy, while giving the rest to a charity that I know well..

Now if only I can find a way to get rid of the stuff in the downstairs storage compartment, I'd feel a little better about bringing these place settings home.

 

Friday, February 3, 2023

A relatively quiet weekend with RQS


This weekend, RQS and I decided to go to the Eastville Comedy Club to see Janeane Garafalo.  RQS had gotten free tickets to the comedy club the week before, and we planned our weekend around meeting in NYC, then proceeding to Westchester for the next few nights.

As usual, I decided to park at Croton-Harmon for two reasons - I was leery of being late for a train, and there would be twice as many trains taking us home than would be if I parked at Cortlandt.  So, I caught a local train into the city, and made it to the restaurant a little bit earlier than expected.  RQS was comfortable with me meeting her in Marian Mode, and we ate out before the show at one of our favorite Indian restaurants, Ghandi Cafe, on Bleecker street. 

Around 6:45, we paid the bill and went to the subway for our trip to Brooklyn.  Luckily, the comedy club was in Downtown Brooklyn, a short distance from where RQS used to work.  We reached the place at 7:30, and sat down to wait for the comedy to begin.  The crowd came in, but the air conditioning didn't come on until the MC started with his gags.  So I wished I could have waited in another area until the room cooled down - which was 20 minutes into the show.  

Going to a comedy club is hit and miss at best for me.  I've found that most comics aren't that funny, and this Friday's performers confirmed my belief.  The MC was funny, but the second comedian lingered too long on a sexual act.  Then Janeane Garafalo came on, and we were bored by her rambling.  At least, she warned the audience about it before she started.  (As an aside, I had a short, pleasant exchange of words with her before I took a bio-break.)  It was a shame that I missed half of the next comedian's set, as he was the funniest of all.  At least the fifth person on stage was relatively funny, and we left for home after she finished her set.

The trip to Croton was uneventful, and we were both glad to go to bed - even if I had a hard time sleeping (as usual).

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we were both very tired.  This was a day that I had planned to go to the bank, drop off a couple of donation bags, and then pick up some food for dinner at Uncle Giuseppe's.  By the time we got home, we weren't in the mood to do much.  But we cooked dinner and found some something lacking - there was no flavor in the sausage I had bought.  Given that a home cooked meal can be hit or miss, I'd call this meal as not even hitting the target.  Next time, I'll plan better.

- - - - - -

Sunday found us without energy.  However, we finally got all the financial details worked out for our California cruise and booked it.  (I'll bet that the travel agent thought we weren't serious about using his services until we booked with him.  He may have been burnt too many times by too many people comparison shopping, and wasting his time.)  Given that the only reason we are going to LA will be to see my uncle, we feel that using an Uber to get to a restaurant may be the best use of our money.

When the evening came, RQS suggested that I get dressed as Marian, and we went out for ribs.  Although RQS suggested Boston Market, thinking of the last time we wanted ribs and got an order of chicken instead, I suggested a nearby Chinese Buffet - and she loved the idea.  Two or three plates later, we were both sated, and ready for the bill.  She thought we had spent more for this meal than on Boston Market, I corrected her - we only spent $5 more (before tip), and got much more value in return.

- - - - - -

Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I wasn't in the mood to go out as Marian on a rainy day, so I got dressed as Mario and reluctantly took RQS to the station to go home.  Arriving home, RQS said that her cats wouldn't leave her alone until they were fed - and that they both wanted her attention, as they probably missed her over the weekend....

Catching up on my reading. (A short post)

  This is the book that I've been reading lately.  Unfortunately, I have no more renewals left on the book. It means that I'm suppos...