This weekend turned out differently than I would have expected.

Saturday was the second day at the Hudson Valley Trans Forum, and I planned to make it for the one topic I was interested in: Medical Options for Binary/Non-Binary Transition and Health Maintenance, presented by Robbins Gottlock, MD of Phelps Hospital Northwell Health  This is the kind of information that I would need for medical transition, and I figured that I'd attend and develop the kinds of questions I'd need to ask when the time comes.

As usual, I needed the alarm clock to get me up and moving in time to attend the above session - and I arrived just before the day's keynote address was given.  (I may discuss Trans activism in another entry.  But right now, I'm more concerned about what I can do to make my body more feminine.)  The morning breakout session was the event I came for - and the speaker delivered.  Most of his presentation covered the effect of female hormones on Male to Female transgenders.  But he also covered information for the Female to Male transgenders for the smaller population of that category in the audience.  I've filed his name away, as I may want to consult with him in the future. (This assumes that I am not in a relationship that requires me to retain male physical characteristics. If I am with someone like GFJ, I will not go any further with physical transition, as I do not suffer severe dysphoria.)

Once this session broke up, it was lunch time.  I was seated with three people, and was in the middle of an interesting conversation when they started their lunch presentation to announce a new service being provided to Trans folk of color in the Hudson Valley.  As one would expect from ineffective people, they focused more on the name of the collective and none of the specifics of what the collective would do for the people they are supposed to serve.  This reminded me of a group of women that Pat once associated with.  They spent much of their time discussing what to call the group, and then did absolutely nothing together ever again. Sadly, they have identified a group of vulnerable people who need help. But they have made the common leftist mistake of going "Ready, Fire, Aim" when going into battle....

- - - - - -

Later on in the evening, I was the Arts Westchester representative doing a review of this theater and the 3 short plays being performed this weekend.  I wasn't sure of what to expect, nor was I absolutely sure of where the theater was.  Unlike many towns, Ossining's Water Street is not immediately adjacent to the river.  This could mean any of two things: (1) The road once ran down to the river, or (2) the land West of Water Street is made from landfill.  Either way, once I was on Water Street, the GPS led me to the wrong location.  Luckily, I realized that GPS systems don't always provide correct directions, and that I'd have to drive along Water Street to find the theater.

The Westchester Collaborative Theater is a small 50 seat operation sited near the Ossining train station.  To find it, one can not rely on a GPS.  Instead, one has to drive along Water street towards the train station and look for standing signs pointing to a theater building at the end of a short alley.  Luckily, I saw those signs and parked my car about 100 feet away from the alleyway.  Then I went in and was warmly greeted by the staff.  What I wasn't expecting was a small theater packed to capacity with good actors performing 3 very well written plays.  If I had known about this place before, I might have gone to see some of their performances without Arts Westchester's free ticket. Hopefully, I'll get the chance to review another one of their performances.  Until then, I'll be sure to monitor my email for notices from this place, as I'd pay to see things this good in a small setting.

- - - - - -

Sunday was a rainy day.  So I made it a Jammie Day.  Not much to say about it, save that I woke up early enough to go to church and did not do so.  Instead, the comfort of my bed was much more enticing to me.  Recently, I've noted the most important reason for me to go back to work.  No, it's not money (though I could use it).  Instead, it's having a routine that forces me to get up in the morning to do something constructive. And I know that all of the volunteer work I could do won't cut it for me. It's that extra incentive of receiving a paycheck that will help me get up in the mornings, and keep me from having excuses to have more Jammie Days than I really need to have....

I keep on checking out prices on the 15 day Hawaii cruise

Sometimes, prices go up when planning a cruise.  When I first started tracking the price of a 15 day Hawaii cruise out of San Francisco, princess.com supplied the following price for an inside cabin on cruise leaving in early November: 

• Base Fare          -  $1844 (includes $922 single supplement)
• Port Fees/Taxes -      241 
• Gratuities           -      225
  ----------------------------------
  Simple Cruise      - $2310

In the middle of November, the same site quoted me the following for a similar cruise leaving on January 27th:

• Base Fare          - $2180 (includes $1090 single supplement)
• Port Fees/Taxes -     241 
• Gratuities           -     225
  ---------------------------------
  Simple Cruise    - $2646 (an increase of $336)

For fun, I decided to examine prices that Princess could get for flights bringing me into San Francisco the night before the cruise, and leave late in the day that the cruise returns to port.  (I'd take an earlier flight if I couldn't connect with a friend during the day.  That would have to be arranged before the cruise.)

• Base R/T Airfare     - $300 (prices varied a great deal)
• Checked Luggage   -     60 
• Transit to LGA         -     50
• Transit from SFO    -      50
• Hotel in SF              -    200
• Transit from Hotel    -     20
• Transit to SFO         -     50
• Transit from LGA     -     50
  ------------------------------------
  Subtotal                  -   $780
  Simple Cruise        - $2646 (an increase of $336)
  ------------------------------------
  Base Total              - $3426 (before excursions)

By the time I'm done, I expect that this would be a $5,000 cruise. I'm not sure if I would want to spend this much when unemployed.  The Panama Canal cruise that I started monitoring a while back, again starts looking like the best of bargains.

When I first ran the numbers this summer, I figured that I should budget at least $4,000 for the trip.  Since then, the overall price has changed for this cruise and my expenses are listed below:

• Base Fare             -  $1698 (miraculously, no single supplement)
• Port Fees/Taxes     -     543
• Gratuities                -     315
  -------------------------------------
  Simple Cruise         - $2556
   
• Trip to NYC Pier       -     60
•  from Seattle Pier     -     40
  -------------------------------------
  Simple land cost      -    100
• Airfare (SEA-JFK)      - 250
• Trip JFK to Home        -  60
  -------------------------------------
  Minimum Cost        - $3066

Which trip would you choose?

Did I go to the first day of the Trans Forum? Nooooo.....

As usual, I've been having a hard time getting to sleep at night.  Last night, I was to blame, as I was editing this blog and taking care of little things well into the "third shift".  So when I woke up this morning, I turned off the alarms and stayed in bed until the afternoon.  As a result, I skipped today's session of the Trans Forum being held at the LGBT Center, and  gave myself a few more hours to rest before going into NYC to see my niece at the Rubin museum.

Around 3 pm, I started getting ready to meet my niece.  Although I took a little longer than usual to get ready, I was out the door by 5:10 pm, with an expected ETA at the museum of 7 pm.  Sadly, this was not to be.  At several points along my way, there were unexpected jams that made it impossible for me to conveniently reach Pelham for a train into NYC.  First, the Southbound Sprain Brook Parkway had a several mile backup leading to the Route 287 exit.  Once past the exit, it took several miles for traffic to resume highway speeds.  Once in Yonkers, traffic jammed up again, forcing me to bail at Tuckahoe road. So I decided to get on Route 87 - another mistake, as the exit for the Cross County Parkway was also backed up much more than usual.  Instead of a trip that gave me 15 minutes of wiggle room to reach the museum, I was running over 30 minutes late. When I finally reached Pelham, the 6:15 train had just left.  I had to wait for the 6:33, which itself was delayed getting into Grand Central.  It took 45 minutes to reach NYC, and another 20+ minutes on the Subway to reach the Rubin museum. 

My niece and I finally connected with each other about 45 minutes late - on a day that she was running an hour early.  At least, she was the one waiting on me for a change.  One thing we noted on this visit to the museum - it seemed as if there was less space being devoted to exhibits than usual.  But we still enjoyed the place, even though we were focusing more on our conversation than the art itself..

While walking around, we talked about many things.  One of these things was her family situation.  She was very uncomfortable thinking about it, so I dropped the topic as soon as I got the information I needed - it looks like my brother and my niece will be cooking for Thanksgiving this year.  So I'll have to do something for dessert.  (Maybe another batch of Chocolate Almond Brownies?)  What surprised me was that my sister in law might be there.  (I won't go into the reasons why I am surprised right now. Let's say that my brother didn't feel safe with her in the house a few weeks ago.)  Hopefully, I won't see her eldest son.  (He's a waste of genetic material, and offends me with his lack of basic intelligence.) I don't want to treat him with more respect than he deserves.

After we were done with the museum, we walked over to A Salt and Battery - a wonderful British style Fish and Chips place.  No atmosphere, but great fish.  And it was there that I talked about my situation with GFJ, as well as the situation with my former cruise partner that caused us to end our friendship.  My niece was shocked about this cruise partner's actions, having the same feelings that Vicki #1 had when I told her the full story. And my niece understood (in a different, but healthy way) why I had to disconnect from this woman and go on my own.  (My niece had to leave home for several years due to the insanity at home. As a result, she's not the kind of woman who'll put up with bullshit from anyone.)

All too soon, it was time to go home.  I accompanied her to Penn Station, where she caught a train home.  While I was on my train home, she texted me and told me how lucky she was.  The train after hers derailed as I remember her text, and all later trains were being backed up on the main line of the LIRR.  As for me, I had an uneventful trip to Pelham, and an uneventful drive home.

The last Speech Therapy session before Thanksgiving

There is only so much one can do with a cisgender male's vocal equipment to generate a feminine sounding voice.  One has to train to speak in a pitch either in the androgynous range or (if lucky) be able to reach into the lower ends of the feminine range. And then, one has to develop the proper feminine prosody - something much harder to do the older a person gets.  This is what I've been trying to do in the last few years, and what I expect to be working on for the rest of my life.

- - - - - -

Getting up this morning, I had 3 things on my schedule: Lunch with Vicki #2, Speech Therapy at Mercy College, then Game Night in Yonkers.  So I got moving around 11, and was in Dobbs Ferry to meet Vicki at 1:30.  We chatted about Thanksgiving plans as well as various family problems in both of our lives.  She made me grateful NOT to have a child, as she's worrying that her son will not be able to achieve to his maximum potential.  (I phrase it this way, as I don't think she'd want specific details about her problems coming out.)  And yet, I wouldn't mind living this part of my life over and having had the challenges of child raising with what I know now.

Once done with Vicki, it was over to Mercy for my weekly speech therapy session.  As much as the 2 ladies see a lot of improvement in my voice, I don't see it.  But then, I'm hypersensitive to my voice's imperfections, and want to eliminate them for the time (if it ever comes) that I can live 24x7 as Marian.  (I'd hold off from doing this for the sake of a healthy romantic relationship.  But I won't go into that topic right now.)  I noted that the next time we meet will be the last time the 3 of us get together.  I wish them the best, as they were earnest in their attempts to improve my voice. Yet, I feel that they have a lot of maturing left to do before they can project a sense of authority in their clinician-client relationship.

Then, it was time to go home.  After nuking one of my Freshly meals from the freezer, I decided to bake a double batch of brownies for a Pre-Thanksgiving game night treat.  So I took out the mixing bowl, found 2 disposable baking sheets, mixed everything together, then baked the brownie mix for 45 minutes.  If the brownies tasted as good as the remaining batter in the bowl, then I knew I'd have a hit later on. 

Around 7:30, I packed up the brownies and headed to Yonkers.  As usual, I lost the one game I played.  But I had a good time.

A little volunteering and a little clothes shopping.

The above picture was taken when I first started trying to dress androgynously.  I was not yet ready to wear a dress or skirt in public, nor was I prepared to present myself as a female.  I've sure come a long way since then!

- - - - - -

Last night was not a good night for sleep.  I woke up at 8 am with only 4 hours of sleep, and went back to sleep shortly after 10, waking up at 1 pm.  Of course, this meant that I was not going to get out and about early in the day as I had hoped.  Instead, I got to the LGBT Center for a 90 minute volunteer stint at 3:30-4:00, and left around 5:30.  This was truly non-eventful, as I wasn't that busy when doing my tasks.

Afterwards, I drove over to Catherine's in Paramus to browse the store.  I could use a new pair of leggings or two, but I didn't find ones I liked in my size.  So I ended up not buying anything today.  (I have my eyes on a scarf and a chenille sweater that go very well together.  The sweater is so soft and cozy, that I'll buy it as soon as it goes on sale.)  Since this will likely be my last visit before "Black Friday", I took note of the price points on garments I wanted to buy and will likely buy them as soon as they reach the point I feel they are worth my money.

- - - - - -

After I got back home, I chatted with GFJ for the better part of an hour.  She had just returned from Florida, enjoying a few days at a housing development ("The Villages") that they hope to market to potential snowbirds like GFJ.  However, GFJ will likely never move to a development like The Villages, as there is not enough there to make her comfortable living there.  As for me, if I ever get to the stage where I want to live down south part of the year, I'd consider living in a development like that - as long as I'm not stuck with excessive costs in doing so.

I don't know how I woke up without the alarm, but it was worth the effort to get out early.

It's always hard to get an oil change at Mavis these days.  The place is usually very busy, and that means business like mine gets pushed to the side to accommodate more profitable efforts, such as selling tires.  But if you get to the shop early enough, you can usually get in and out of the place before 10 am.  Instead of a trip for minor service costing me $500 at the dealership, my car can get what it needs for under $200.  And when one is living on a fixed income, the $300 is better in my pocket than in the dealership's till.

- - - - - -

Last night, I knew that I had to wake up early the following morning.  So I went to bed around 1 am, started the "white noise" maker, put on my CPAP mask, and readied myself for a few hours of sleep.  While I was semiconscious, my phone rang.  Seems that RO accidentally dialed me, and killed the call as soon as she started it.  But that didn't keep me alert for long, as I passed out again shortly afterwards.

When I got up, it was a couple of minutes before 7.  So I turned off all my alarms, took my shower, and went out the door as Mario.  I arrived at Mavis at 8, and asked them to look at my front end when they did the oil change and rotated the tires.  I was right, when I hit the curb last Thursday, I knocked the front end a little out of alignment.  So I was glad I got this taken care of before I ruined my tires by uneven tread wear. About $160 later, my car was ready, and I was ready to drive home.  So back to Croton I drove, and back to bed I went for a little while to try and catch up on a few Z's I missed the night before.

- - - - - -

Of course, with the coffee I consumed earlier, I didn't have a chance to catch those Z's.  Instead, I took care of a couple of little things around the house and took it easy for a while. But then, I realized that I may have an interesting set of schedule conflicts.  Either I will need to cancel my attendance at a FTF Meetup dinner or cancel my attendance at a Beacon Meetup dinner due to a dinner engagement with RO.  It'll be nice to be able to see her again this year, as she had some good news to share - her daughter is finally getting married!  YAY!

But I digress a little....

Around 5:00, I started to get ready for tonight's meetup by changing into my female presentation.  It took a little longer than expected for me to get out the door, and I barely made it in time to the Meetup's restaurant.  The usual gang was there, but I couldn't sit at the table I wanted to be at - the last 3 seats had already been taken, so I ended up at another table with other people I don't get the chance to speak with that often.

Originally, I figured that I would order a small dish and get out of the place for $25 or so.  Instead, I ordered the prix fixe 3 course dinner, and ended up spending roughly $50.  (I was glad I took a $50 bill with me, as it made it possible for me to leave a nice tip without going overboard.)  Of course, I fluttered between our 3 tables, chatting with people I wanted to chat with.  However, I didn't chat with all the people I wanted to chat with - the appetizers and main course came while in the middle of chats with friends.  (At least, I'll get to chat with these people the week after Thanksgiving.)

All too soon, the evening had to end.  So it was on with my coat, and back down to Croton and home. Although I can't keep up spending money at this rate without cracking open my 401k, I'm roughly where I expected to be today.  Hopefully, one of the jobs I'm applying for will come though, and I'll be able to stop the short term drain on my savings account.

A rainy day, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out again.

I decided to try and get an oil change, but to no avail.  The cars were double parked inside of Mavis's parking lot.  If I really want to get the tire rotation and oil change I need at a reasonable price, I'll have to go very early tomorrow morning.

- - - - - -

Last night, I didn't start trying to go to sleep until 2 am or so.  And it seemed to take forever for me to fall out.  But when I finally woke up, I had blown through 2 alarms, only waking up for a 10 am alarm I had set.  This meant that it was going to take some time for me to get moving, and I stayed in the comfort of a warm blanket as long as possible. Eventually, I was up and out of the house around 1 pm, and saw that there was no chance for me to get the oil change I need.  So I ended up picking up lunch at the local Mickey D's, then drove home for a while.

Around 4 pm, I looked out the window, and saw that it was raining.  Did I really want to drive to Connecticut?  I wasn't sure.  But I still had a couple of things to take care of.  First, I had received a "Canvas Letter" from NYS asking me to express my interest in a position across the river from me.  So I ran off a copy of my resume, and enclosed it with a signed copy of the letter, and returned it to Albany to be considered for the position.  Then, I found that my printer had run out of ink.  So, in addition to the Dermablend foundation I needed to buy, I also needed to buy a new ink cartridge for the printer.

I left my apartment around 5:30, which should have given me enough time to make it to the meetup in Norwalk.  Luckily, I allocated the extra 15 minutes, as there was a major backup on Route 95 that I was able to avoid by taking the Merritt.  And I got to the restaurant at the same time that the hostess was arriving.  Instead of sitting down at our table, we realized that "Happy Hour" ended at 7, and that we could still get a discounted drink at the bar.  So we placed our drink orders, had the bartender take the picture above, and then brought our drinks to the table.  From there, most of us partook of Monday's $6 burger night.  YUM!

All too soon, it was time to depart.  The drive home was less of a headache than the drive to the meetup - there was no rush hour start and stops.  However, the rain did get in the way of enjoying the drive, as I had to be much more alert than I usually would be. So I was very glad that I didn't take full advantage of Happy Hour....