I got nothing done this evening - except answering the phone

 

This morning, my "smart watch" told me that I only slept 4 hours.  So I knew that I'd be fighting to stay awake all day - which I did.  But I didn't know that I'd be on the phone all evening.

- - - - - -

Going to work as Marian adds about 30 minutes to my daily routine.  As Marian, I need to shave all over to remove all traces of masculine hair, and then do my makeup.  Mario doesn't need to do this.  So I lose a half hour of sleep every day I go to work.  And when I have only 4 hours of sleep, I become a zombie for much of the day.  In order to avoid big screw-ups, I double check much of the work I do while doing it, and after it's done.  So far, this has worked out for me, but I feel wasted at the end of the day.

I went shopping after leaving work, and stopped into both Target and Kohl's before going home.  With a quick stop at Shoprite to pick up lunch and dinner for the next two days, I received a call from Vicki on my (now) short drive home.  After unloading my bags, I got a call from TCL.  Then, just as I was falling asleep, TCL wanted to chat again. And finally, it was time for my nightly chat with MWL.  Not much done at all - even though I had 17 things on my to-do list.  

Sooner or later, I must take care of ALL the things on this evolving list.  But first, it's time for me to go to bed....

Have you ever seen a supermarket almost empty of goods?

 

On the way home from MWL's tonight, I had to go to the supermarket before closing to pick up lunch for the next tomorrow.  Although I knew that the Shoprite in Tallman, NY was closing, I didn't know how empty the shelves would be.  Saying that the shelves looked like this a month before the store's official closing would not be an exaggeration.  Most of the goods had already been picked over, and only those items that would perish before the store closed were still being stocked.  (Why keep a supermarket open if one can't find fresh veggies, meat, fish and dairy?)

I felt sorry for the people who work there, as they will have to drive to new locations if they want to stay employed.  (This assumes that the staff has been offered jobs in the other locations.)  In this environment, people who can't get a better job than working at a supermarket will likely have a hard time finding jobs elsewhere.

Luckily for the people who shop here, the Walmart next door sells many of the same items that are found at Shoprite, save for the items mentioned in the first paragraph.  Yet, many of these shoppers will need to drive more than a mile further away to do their shopping.  But this closure makes me wonder: Will Walmart expand its footprint on site to sell the remaining items that Shoprite used to sell?  If so, did Shoprite terminate its lease to avoid direct competition with Walmart?

All went well, although I lost something I could use.

 

How many of my readers remember John Cameron Swayze?  Although he had a career as a journalist, he is better known to my generation as a pitchman for Timex watches.  The trademarked line "Takes a licking, but keeps on ticking" immediately brings to mind his stress tests of Timex watches in extreme environments, such as having a watch strapped to the propeller of a "cigarette boat".  The watch would work flawlessly after such tests, and this made Timex a best seller among affordable mass market watches.

Recently, I decided to buy an inexpensive Timex smart watch.  The watch is not that great, but for the price, I couldn't go wrong.  Although I doubt it would pass any of Swayze's stress tests, it provides decent value for $50.  The problem - I can't find my other watch (also a Timex, a sheer coincidence) that I use on a regular basis.  Given the mess in this apartment, I can understand how it got lost.  But I am annoyed at myself, as I wanted to wear it today on a date.

My date, I'll call her DWS for now, worked in a field similar to mine, and was a little more successful at it than I was.  She seems down to earth, and may be a good partner for me if she is able to deal with the Marian side of me.  (One can only hope.)  Is it immediate chemistry?  No.  I just feel comfortable talking with her, and I have more than a friendly interest (to phrase it politely) in the relationship we could have.  It would be nice to find out she feels the same way.

But I don't have much time to write today.  I've got to get ready to go to a concert with Vicki, and I must shower and dress for the second time today.  (I got sweated up replacing the carpet mat under/near my computer desk, and I want to be fresh for tonight....)

What would you do in my shoes?

Normally, when someone says that they snagged a deal way too good to be true, it means that the person with the deal may have been scammed.  I recently snagged a deal way too good to be true, and I have yet to feel that I have been scammed.  (I'll write more about this when I return from my cruise.)  Yet, I have a very minor gripe.  The price of my mini suite has dropped $250 since I booked the cruise, and I'd like to get some kind of freebie from the line (such as a soft drink package) to say thanks for booking the cruise at this price.

If you look at the map above, there are 6 staterooms in orange and brown.  (Port: 11632-11636, Starboard: 11132-11136.)  I have one of these staterooms.  From what I read, there are only 4 mini suites on the ship - all "Aft". But I could be misreading things, and there could be another 4 "Forward" mini suites as well.  As of the time I'm writing this entry, there was at least 1 "sail away" mini suite available.  This means, that if I rebooked my cruise to get the lower price, I might get a room of a lesser perceived value.  If one assumes I'm in room 11636 (only because it stands out from the rest), should I risk getting assigned one of the other cabins?

Although I am happy with the price I paid, and that I'll be spending more than that $250 on other things, Is it worth the effort to get the lower price?  How much effort is it worth to save money?  One person I cruised with would jump at the chance to save $250, and use this for other purposes.  As for me, I'm far from rich.  But not trying to save every last dollar has value too - it allows me to focus on getting acceptable value for what I spend, and not waste my valuable time chasing after ever decreasing savings.

So what would you do????
 

If only I could read tea leaves....

Some people believe that the future can be foretold by reading tea leaves.  Too bad this isn't true, as I would be studying the subtleties of the tea leaf instead of working at a monotonous job.

- - - - -

If I had known how FL would have reacted to the discovery of my female side, I'd have eased her into this knowledge.  There are so many "If Onlys" in  life, that many of us get stuck dwelling in the past. For the most part, I regret a relatively small number of things - one of which is not to openly say "I Love You" to my wife early and often before she died.

None of us can predict the future - we muddle through it as best as possible.  Right now, I'm thinking of how to spend much of my time next year.  Do I leave my job and spend more time traveling?  Do I crack open my nest egg?  Do I spend even more time than I do now as Marian (if that's possible)?  In fairness, the best we can do is make intelligent guesses.

- - - - - -

One question I'll have to figure out on my own is how to break the news about my existence as Marian to a woman who only knows me as Mario.  One transwoman I know is now married to her second wife, someone who will accept her for who she is - unless this transwoman goes for medical transition.  Hopefully, this marriage will last.  So far, it has lasted long enough for the couple to buy a house together. 

May the two of them live long and prosper....

 

I thought an apartment was empty...

 

You'll notice how empty this parking lot seems to be.  Over the years, it has gone from being overcrowded to having enough room for visitors to find parking at any time of night.  There is an ebb and flow to life in a co-op complex, and I've seen it all - or, so I've thought....

- - - - - -

When I moved into my apartment, there was a mother and daughter living in a 2br apartment in the next doorway over from me. They were a nice family unit when I met them, and in general conversation, I found out that the daughter had health issues that kept her at home. However, things changed for the worse over the years....

Shortly after I married my wife, we applied for and got a "double spot" assigned to us.  We'd arrange our cars so that she blocked my exit from my spot each night.  This would enable her to get out in the morning and go to work without disturbing me.  The mother/daughter combination had two identical cars parked in their spots, and rarely moved them.  Even in heavy snowfalls, they would not move their cars.  This was the first sign that something was wrong.

Over the years, there were many signs that bothered me (and others).  For example, both mother and daughter would call me because they were lonely.  In one case, the mother left a 10 minute message on my answering machine saying that she had a question to ask of me.  My machine ran out of tape with her meandering  before she could ask me the question she claimed she wanted to ask.   Another time, their new car (1 new car replaced their 2 old cars) was parked with a rear window open, and it was left that way for several weeks.  Later on, the car was left in a parking spot where a storm caused a tree to fall over the car - and they did nothing.  Eventually, the car had to be towed away, as they were no longer able to drive it.  But this is not all.  Several times, the fire department had to pay a visit to their apartment because of several fire hazards detectable from the outside.  One of these times had cooking gas escaping their apartment because the pilot light went out and they couldn't smell the gas.  Another one of these times had their air conditioner overheating due to an electrical fault, and almost causing a fire in my building.  The last time I saw the mother, she seemed to be in the middle stages of dementia, and unable to take care of herself.  Yet, adult protective services could do very little, as the mother was still barely competent enough to be allowed to live on her own.  (At this time, I felt that she needed to be in assisted living, but no one would put her there.) 

Recently, I found out that the mother had died and that the daughter is still living in the apartment.  I was very surprised, as there are never any lights on in either of the two bedrooms, and that there are no shades or blinds on these windows.  My neighbor L told me that "meals on wheels" is delivering food to the daughter, and that she is nuking the food in the one appliance she is capable of using - a microwave. Luckily for L, she is too busy with work to get sucked into the daughter's problems.....

As for me, I wish the daughter was in assisted living as well.  This would mean that the apartment would be sold and that the co-op could receive a "flip tax" on its sale....

 

If I were unemployed, I'd take this cruise now.

As many of my readers know, I have a pen pal in Ontario who only knows me as Marian.  The other day, she sent me an email (in response to one of my emails) telling me that she is on this cruise this week.  While her parents may be going home at the end of the cruise (I'm not sure of this), she's booking a second cruise on the same ship and suggested that I buy a cheap  inside cabin and join her on her second trip to Bermuda.  I'm not sure if I want to tell her that I am still legally Mario if we were to meet up for a cruise, even though we'd be in separate rooms.

As much as I'd like to join her in Bermuda, I'm a bit leery of getting off the boat as Marian in a place I've never visited before.  All my ID says "Mario!" and this could get me into big trouble in some areas of the world. I figure that I might scope out this trip one day in Mario mode, then take it again as Marian if things go smoothly when getting off and back onto the ship.

This is a cruise I'd like to take some day, but not one that I'd go far out of my way to take.  The Hawaii and the Panama Canal cruises are higher on my list of trips to take.  Yet, I could see this trip as a test to find out whether a special person and I could travel well together....

Too bad that I don't feel safe in getting off the ship at many ports as Rhonda did on her cruise.  I'm not sure if she has legally transitioned or not, but she has a much easier time than I do going about the world as a woman. (I should ask her one day, as I'd like to know if she has any advice for me in getting out at the same ports as she did on her cruise.)  At least, she knows how to dress well and up on a cruise.....

 

A short post about a long line at Walmart.

 
Today, I wanted to price check a couple of things AND get home "early".  (I slept away most of the day yesterday, and I know my sleep patterns will be out of whack for a while.)  Unfortunately, this was not the case.

My first stop was at Staples to price out a chair mat to protect my carpet from the chair by my computer desk.  $70 is an uncomfortable expense for me, but one I know I'll need to spend.  Instead of me bringing this unwieldy object home in my car, I figure that I'll order it from Amazon, and have it shipped to me for free.  After this, I stopped at Target, looking for inexpensive reading glasses to replace the ones that fell out of my pocketbook.  No luck there, so it was off to Walmart.

Normally, a trip to Walmart ends up with most people spending more than planned.  But today was worse.  All of the self service checkout stations were closed, and there were lines 10 carts deep at the remaining manned stations.  Instead of being in and out in 15 minutes (I knew where the reading glasses are stocked), I was there for an hour, most of which was waiting in line.  If I ever see lines like this again outside of the Xmas rush, I'll shop elsewhere if possible.....

BTW: I bought two pairs of glasses while I was there....

I was thinking of a topic for discussion

 

The weekend after Columbus day is when Fantasia Fair is usually scheduled.  I've only had the privilege to attend this gathering once, and I hope to be able to do so again one day.  The first time I attended, I was a newbie, and had much to learn.  Next time, I hope to be able to pass on some of my "wisdom" so that newcomers can have an easier time in their paths towards "transition".

You'll note that the word "transition" in the prior paragraph has been put in quotes.  Movement towards being your authentic self does not require a full medical or social transition.  Each person's path has its own stops along the way, and each person has his/her own unique goal which he/she wants to achieve.  In some cases, it is a full transition, where the body is shaped to better fit the person's image of what he/she wants to be.  In other cases, it is a partial transition, where many of the characteristics of the opposite sex are incorporated into that person's body, so that he/she feels complete.  And in still others, it is a temporary transition, where one can simply take on the role of the other sex for a while, and retreat to where he/she originally started.  This is a gross simplification, as it focuses only on body presentation and not all the other subtleties implied by the gender spectrum.

In my case, I would prefer to have a female body - with all that this entails.  Unlike most transgender people, my male body does not bother me.  It simply doesn't suit my purposes, save in one way which I won't go into right now.  I can live with what I have.  With other people, they will sacrifice everything to have the body that he/she wants in the gender that he/she needs to exist in.  Severe gender dysphoria is often treated with GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery), but it is often not available to many transgender people for a myriad of reasons, financial cost being one of them, but not the only one.  For many, the social and professional costs are prices too high for them to pay. 

The topic I'd like to discuss involves my experiences living in the world as Marian, and the costs I've had to pay to do so.  I'd also like to discuss the costs others have had to pay, and tell the audience that going in this direction is not for weaklings.  A person will be attacked from many directions by many people - most of them unexpected.  But the rewards are great - life as one's authentic self is very fulfilling, and worth all the costs involved in doing so.  Would something like this be a good topic for a Fantasia Fair presentation?  Maybe.  But first, I'd like to speak with someone I know who has done just that....

 

 

If I had known it would be rainy, I'd have made other plans.

I had reserved this day for a long postponed dinner with TCL.  Although she has been vaccinated and has had a booster shot, she's still a little reticent about dining indoors.  So, we ended up cancelling things for today.  

- - - - - -

If I had known that TCL would cancel our dinner, I'd have gotten up at a normal hour AND made it to NYC to see the Automania exhibit at MoMA.  This was not the case for today.  And I'll miss the chance to see the classic cars on display, one of which I've had the pleasure of driving (A VW Beetle.)  There will be other interesting exhibits on other future days, so I'm not crying too hard about this. I'm glad that I started to do a load of laundry before receiving TCL's call.  I can't complain about wasting a day when I found other things to do in place of my original plans.

 

Right now, I'm looking for a way that I can squeeze in a visit to one of the places on the list of OHNY's 10/16/21 - 10/17/21 open houses.  It is an interesting list, and well worth taking the tie out to see one of the architectural gems on the list - such as La Guardia Airport's Marine Air Terminal.  (By the time this is posted, this event will have ended.  So I hope that my readers get the chance to attend OHNY's event in 2022.

- - - - - -

When I look at my October calendar, I see that I am busy most of the month - especially on weekends. Recently, someone said that she was considering meeting me for coffee.  One problem.  If she had called, I was across the river dealing with issues -or- seeing the new James Bond film at the time.  Again, it was a case of not having enough hours in the day to do what I want be done.

Wasn't it Mickey Rooney who first said "Life is Short?"

 

 

It was a busy day. And yet, I forgot to do some things.

I had several things on the docket for today.  And yet, I slipped up on one of them....

- - - - - -

To start the day off, I had to go to Mavis to get my tire pressure sensors looked at; the TPMS warning kept going on and off for no reason at all.  Next was to get my Covid booster shot, and then I had to cross the river to talk to the cable company (again) about my bill payments.  In between all of this, I was supposed to call a potential girlfriend to chat for a while before going to see MWL for the evening.

The trip to Mavis went well.  As I expected, one of the 4 sensors was failing, and was replaced quickly. There was also a slow leak in one tire that got fixed at the same time.  So, $125 later, I was out the door and off to get my booster shot.  On the way to White Plains, I tried to call this potential girlfriend (let's call her CWS for now) but she wasn't able to answer the phone.  She said she'd be free after 3, and I could call her back then.

Getting the booster shot was easier than getting the original doses of the Pfizer vaccine.  When I went to the Yonkers vaccination site, I had to deal with a very short line before getting my arm stuck.  This time, I went to White Plains, and didn't have to wait at all.  It was strange to see the inside of the Westchester County Center space turned into a vaccination facility. But it was nice to find out that parking at their lot was free - something that would not have been the case before the pandemic. 

Unfortunately, I forgot to call CWS on my way to the one Cable Company Store open today - I'll try to call her tomorrow. But I got lucky with the cable company.  It seems as if my payment from mid/late September finally was posted.  But the extra payment I made was not posted.  So I'll have to see about that next week. While there, I decided to replace a pair of old, worn out remotes.  They are different from both of the old units I used in the past. Hopefully, they will last longer than the old ones.

- - - - - -

Now that I was free for the day, it was off to MWL's place.  We ended up going to see the new James Bond film.  I won't give away any secrets here.  But if Daniel Craig had to leave the franchise, this was a good story for his Bond to exit the scene.  For a film that is over 2 1/2 hours long, it didn't feel like this was so - the film moved at a reasonable pace towards its conclusion.

Once the film was over, we went to the diner for dinner, and then gabbed until midnight.  Since my coach does not turn into a pumpkin, I made a bee line to my apartment to finally get some rest....
 

 

 

I'm Tired!

"I'm Tired."  It's hard to believe that this song still makes me chuckle in the decades after "Blazing Saddles" was released.  It's tame enough that it could be played on broadcast TV.  Yet, the best gags are adult in nature.  

- - - - - -

If I weren't working a full time job, I'd be able to go to sleep late at night, and wake up when I feel rested.  This is not the case.  I have to be in at 8:00 am, and then make it look like I'm fully conscious until I leave for the day.  Today was a little worse than usual.  I had an interrupted sleep the night before, and I was finding it harder than usual to stay reasonably conscious.

When the day ended, I had to rush home to deal with a problem with my cable bill/payment, and rushed home to change before going to the cable store.  And even then, I couldn't get the problem resolved....  I may have made things worse by issuing a second payment on the account to bring it somewhat current, as the fellow at the store gave me an issue about this second payment.  

Payments: 

09/20 - $275 (not processed by cable)
10/04 - $300 (not processed by cable - I wasn't sure of exact amount and wanted to overpay.)
10/07 - $275 (processed by cable, not yet recorded at the bank.)

The first two payments were issued from my main bank's portal. The third was made from the cable company portal, drawn on a second bank.  

So now, I have to bring records from the 2 banks, plus a screen print from the cable company's site to the cable store to see what can be done.  This is going to be a big pain in the ass for me tomorrow, as I have to go to Mavis for car service, to a vaccination center for a Covid booster shot, and then to the cable store.  And after all of this, I go to see MWL!  

- - - - - -

Why do I mention MWL right now?  Tonight, we were far from the same wave length when I wanted to talk about this problem.  She wasn't trying to over analyze the problem as TCL does.  But she was being fatalistic in ways that bother me.  (I'm having a hard time trying to describe her "ethnic" style of communication, but it's a style that bothered me with Ex-GF-M.)  When I see her, I'll have to apologize for being a little testy when talking with her, as I was not in the best of moods....

 

It's good to hear from people....

 

Today, I received an email from my friend in Florida.  His messages make it appear as if he's recovering many of the mental processes which were damaged by his aneurysm. Hopefully, he'll be in shape to have a visitor sometime next year.

In his email, he reminded me of what happened 11 years ago to this week.  The two of us spent the evening together talking about many things, knowing that this evening would be the last time he would talk with his wife.  She was a good woman, but suffered with the same type of cancer that took my wife's life.  And I know that he misses the things that could have been had she lived.

Does he know that I'm trans?  No.  I won't tell him until I'm at that point where I want to give up on living as Mario forever.  Yet, I wish I could see him on my single day that I'll be in a Florida port.  Maybe on my next visit to that state....

- - - - - -

When I got home, I found out that the cable company didn't process a payment I made to them a couple of weeks ago.  So I spent the better part of an hour talking with someone with minimal result.  The person told me to send them my documentation of payment via fax (who uses faxes anymore?) and I said that I had no access to a fax machine.  Then the person said that I could go to one of their stores.  One problem - only one of them is open on a Saturday.  AARGH!   Luckily, I will be passing by the place on the way to see MWL that day.  Hopefully, they will be open after I'm done with car service at Mavis.

Still thinking of a bucket list cruise.

 

Two years ago, I could have gotten last minute deal on a balcony cabin for the above Thanksgiving time cruise for roughly $1,300 excluding taxes and port fees. (They dropped the single supplement a few days before sailing.  Otherwise, the cabin would have sold for $2,600.)  Today, a similar cruise would set me back roughly $8,000.  What's the difference?  Pent up demand for cruising combined with limited availability of cabins has made this cruise unaffordable for many. 

Two years ago, I posted an entry about cruises I considered taking.  Ships are not being repositioned in a way one can predict from year to year. In the past, you might find ships that did the West Coast Alaska run now doing a Mexico run.  Sometimes, ships would be repositioned through the Panama Canal, so that they can do a Caribbean run in the Winter.  (The reverse run would take place in the Spring, preparing for the yearly Alaska cruising season.)  Now, due to the pandemic, cruise lines are moving ships to regions where they can make the most money with limited capacity.  Before the pandemic, one could easily find cruises that did a full transit of the canal.  Today, many more ships do only a partial transit - and people seem happy with that.

When the time comes, I will make sure that I have a nice one piece bathing suit ready to go for a trip to the sun.  I can't wait to be at pool side on either a Hawaii or Panama Canal run.... 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Casual readers of this blog will notice that I am not going to as many meetups as I used to in the past.  There are two reasons for this.  First is the problems I had last year.  The groups I was able to attend have either disbanded, or simply stopped meeting.  Second is that I'm simply too tired to go out for the sake of going out.     

When I look at my schedule, I find that I do not have enough hours in the day to keep up with the social demands on my life. There are people I want to keep up with that I haven't been able to do so.  They are available to meet, but not at times I am available - and vice versa.  

Dating is another wrinkle.  I'm getting tired of "swiping right" and then having conversations peter out before we get to a phone call stage or meeting for coffee.  No, I am not stretching things out too far.  I might be seen as a viable but 2nd/3rd choice candidate.  I have to find the time and energy to keep up my efforts in this area, but it's not that easy.

- - - - - -

All work and no play may be making Marian a very boring girl.  Before I took my current job, I could easily find the time to read books.  Today, I am way too tired to do this.  I can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library and finished it before it was past due.  I'm at the stage where I'm considering buying a few books, simply to have them available to read without having to wait for their availability via the library system.

- - - - - -

Luckily, my health hasn't failed me yet.  But I have to be careful, given my age and current risk factors....

 

 

All Circuits Are Busy

 

Tonight, I wanted to make a simple electronic to a vendor and ask some questions.  Unfortunately, each time I tried to place a call via my cell phone, I received a message instructing me to try placing the call later because all circuits were busy.  Luckily, I had more than one way to contact this vendor, and was able to reach him via the internet.

Over time, we have learned to place our faith in technology and assume that it will work for us when we need it.  This is not always the case.  Until Verizon was unable to deal with a strange noise on my landline, I was happy to continue using their "Twisted Pair" wiring to make landline phone calls.  Now, for a phone I rarely use anymore, I use a "Triple Play" service offered by my cable company. However, this phone is still the one way old time contacts know how to call me, so I keep it in service just to monitor the messages (mostly spam) left on the recorder.

For reasons that are no longer valid, I have two cell phones with two different numbers on two different networks.  When one network fails me, I can still make calls using the other phone.  Yes, it's a "Belt and Suspenders" approach, but it's one that may be needed as technology becomes more complex.

- - - - - -

Recently, I've been researching how to automate the monitoring of Cruise Prices, so that I can get the lowest possible price.  There are sites for airfares and hotel rooms that I've used in the past.  But none really do the job well for cruises.  I discussed this recently with a travel agent (the same one I couldn't reach in the first part of this entry), and he suggested that I book a cruise now to get the maximum fare I was willing to pay for a cruise, but then call to rebook at a lower price when the price eventually drops - his agency would help me get that fare if it was not a "new bookings only" price.  I will keep this in mind when planning my Hawaii cruise, as I don't want to spend more on a cruise than I would have spent before the pandemic hit.

There are three Hawaii cruises I discussed with this gentleman.  The first was the 10 day cruise tour offered by Norwegian. Second was an 18 day cruise out of San Diego on Holland American.  Third was a repositioning cruise from Norwegian that starts in Vancouver, heads up to Alaska, then ends in Hawaii.  (He was trying to get me to consider other options that would result in less Hawaii time.)  Right now, my heart is telling me to take the first cruise and pay what it takes to enjoy the cruise.  Yet, there is a side of me that wants to get the most bang per buck - something that may have frustrated my former cruise partner.  Now that I have to depend on my nest egg for living expenses, I have to use it wisely to avoid running out of money in old age.

When I eventually take my Hawaii cruise, I want to take it as Marian.  And I intend to have the money to do it in the right way....

Torn between two desires

There's a part of me that enjoys going to work and getting a paycheck.  And there's another part of me that rebels against getting up at 6 am.  I don't know which side of me will win out.  But I will be relieved when I don't have to wake up at 6 am, but will need to find a part time gig to give me a reason to get up in the morning.

- - - - - -

The other day, I went to the doctor.  Then, he made his usual speech about me becoming more active and losing weight.  I mentioned that it is easier said than done, when the job I have sucks out almost all the energy I have to be active and that it screws up my natural eating patterns in a way that I actually end up eating more than I would have otherwise.  Further along in the discussion, he discussed a potential prescription change with me - and we put it off until my next visit.

I'm pretty sure that I would be in better shape (in many ways) if I no longer had this job.  But it's nice to have enough money coming in that I don't have to raid my savings.  Given the choice of having more time in my life vs. having enough money to avoid draining savings, I am finding it hard to make a definite decision.  I can easily go in either direction.

- - - - - -

I turn 66 1/2 in a little over 2 years.  Do I want to start collecting Social Security earlier than planned, and get a reduced benefit?  If so, I will lose money if I live as long a life as my father did.  Could I start draining my 401k?  I could do that, but I still want my money to grow and outlast me.  I can't say that would happen if I start regular withdrawals now.  These are the questions that many people of my age have to ask.  And there are no right answers, as we do not know how long we will live.  Nor, do we know how healthy we will be when we get to a certain age.

You'll note that I haven't mentioned anything about being transgender.  Until I go on hormones, it is a non issue in the multi-variable equation.  So I'll base my decisions on how long my father lived, and hope that this gives me a good idea of what I need to plan for in the future.

 

A long drive with Vicki

Olana - A place I wanted to visit again with my niece in tow (before Covid-19) and a place I wanted to visit with Vicki after an "Upstate" meetup.  Unfortunately, my intentions keep getting thwarted for different reasons.

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When the day opened, Vicki and I were scheduled to attend a meetup in Woodstock, NY.  Afterwards, we planned to stroll around the town.  It took us a while to find the group, as it was enjoying things at the restaurant's garden area, and we first thought to only look inside the building.  Eventually, we found the group, and ordered our lunch. Conversation was good, especially with a new member of the group. Vicki was so relaxed, that she made verbal slips regarding my gender.  So I made things easier for her and this new person by identifying myself as Trans.  No negative comment from our new friend. We then exchanged phone numbers with this new member, and then broke away from the group as it started to drizzle.

I suggested that we drive up to Olana and take a tour of the mansion.  Unfortunately, the weather only got worse, and it didn't make sense to tour the building.  So, we headed south, and had another bite to eat in Rhinebeck.  It was a nice drive with a good friend who knows me in both of my modes.

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Later on, I chatted with the woman I saw a couple of weeks ago, and had a long chat.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get together again soon.  And then, I chatted with MWL for a while.  

Sooner or later, I may need a day off to take care of things I need to do on my days off.... 

 

 

 

 

 

Looks like a last meetup for a while

 

Years ago, Peter and Gordon sang about "A World Without Love."  It was a great tune penned by two great artists you might have heard of: Lennon and McCartney.  As I write this, tomorrow will likely be the last day that I attend a specific meetup.  I'll be glad that Vicki will be in tow, as we want to enjoy a good meal after hanging out at the HV Live Music Meetup.  (I have written about this meetup group before, so I won't bother talking about my history with the people in it now.)  It'll be a bittersweet thing for me, as I will miss getting together with the people there, but failed to develop the friendships I wanted there.

Lately, I've been going to fewer and fewer meetups, save for my Yonkers Gaming Group which is no longer on Meetup.com.  This is just as well, as I am feeling much more exhausted from this job I'm in than any job I've had before. I don't have as much need to present myself as Marian.  Instead, I simply have a need to be me - no matter how I present myself at the time.  

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The other day, I received another post from my acquaintance in Philadelphia, and forwarded it to a former friend.  She's been silent as of late, and this is much better than the last time we communicated with each other.  Every so often, I look for a response from her in a specific email account that I know I will never receive.  I hope to be able to see this acquaintance soon,  as I don't expect her to be around at this time next year.  (Hopefully, I'll be proven very wrong in the future.)  To do so, I may have to wrap a day or two around a 3 day weekend to do so, as I would also want to take the train to DC to see another acquaintance or two.

Once I leave my current job, I will be free to travel as much as I'd like.  However, I have to make sure that I have enough income coming in to afford my travels.  There is a bucket list trip or two that I plan to take in the next 2 years, and this means both time and money.  Ideally, I'll be able to work part time as needed.  But as I get older, the less I want to do so. Instead, the older I get, the more I want to get on a cruise ship and relax.  Hopefully, I will make new friends when I do so, unlike the last time I cruised....

 

 

It's kind of fitting that I'm watching this movie

I am more interested in the history of baseball than of watching the game itself.  The sport reflects all which is good and bad about America in its history.  And it's fitting that I'm watching the movie 61* at the end of a 162 game season, 60 years after Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's home run record.

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Today was an interesting day.  I started it out with a visit to my doctor.  As usual, he hectored me about losing weight, when it should have been to get more active.  But that's another story for another day. Once done with him, I had a quick breakfast sandwich, then changed into Marian Mode to go to work.

As usual, I had to fight off the urge to nod out at my desk. But this time, I knew the cause - there was way too much blood in my caffeine stream, and I knew I needed a cup of coffee at the earliest chance. Once this was taken care of, it would be smooth sailing to the end of the day.

Something I usually do during each day is to write a list of things that need to be taken care of.   Almost always, there are things on my to-do list that never seem to get done - such as cleaning my apartment. But one thing of note is coming to mind again.  I need to flesh out one part of my feminine wardrobe.  In the winter, women tend to wear more utilitarian clothing, and that includes denim jeans.  I need to do the same, and yet I still need to look as feminine as reasonably possible.  So, while taking care of business, I let my mind wander to figure out what clothing I need to buy.

Later on, I got a text from Vicki telling me that her cell phone died, and that she is also having to recover apps to her new phone.  Although she was having thoughts about it, she decided to restore Facebook - something I consider a big time suck.  (She barely uses it, but her friends do.  So it was worthy of consider installing on her new phone.)  It took a while, but she eventually was able to do so. At this point, I told her about my clothing "dilemma" and she came up with ideas similar to what I had - getting jean like garments (read: "Jeggings") to be worn under some of my tunics.  Then, I should consider adding more basic tunics and long sweaters to the wardrobe.  Yes, I'll have to set a budget for these garments, but I should do so in order to blend in with the other women I encounter on a regular basis.

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By the time this entry is made public, the baseball season will have ended.  If I'm right, the wild card playoff will have taken place and the divisional series in each league should have started.  This is a far cry from what baseball's post season looked like in 1961.  I wish we could turn back the clock 60 years, so we could see baseball before it got (more) corrupted by the use of "Juice" (Steroids).  Roger Maris will always have my respect unlike other home record holders, as he was the last to break a Ruthian record before the game tolerated "Juicing" to put fans in the seats....
 

 

Standardization - Should it be imposed by government?

In America, our choice of data/power connector has been made for us by the manufacturers of our electronic products.  If one is an Apple customer, one uses the connector on the right.  If on Android, one uses the connector on the left.  Does this make sense?  Shouldn't all products play nice in the sandbox?

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I started off with the Apple vs. Android dispute, as it goes much deeper than one would think.  Most Android products can talk with each other.  My cell phone can be tethered to an Android tablet without problems.  The same can be said about Apple phones and tablets.  But Apple makes sure, at almost every point, that its products do not interface well with the other products' ecosystems.  There is no reason that I can't tether my iPad to a Samsung cell phone via Bluetooth or Wi_Fi connections.  Yet, this is so.

Several weeks ago, one of my friends asked me to figure out a problem.  She had a non-Apple laptop and an Apple phone, and couldn't get tethering to work, so that she could submit her final project.  So I allowed her to tether her laptop to my phone, and she was able to submit the project on time.  This is not a good thing.  Wi-Fil to Wi-Fi connections and Bluetooth to Bluetooth connections are simple.  Yet, Apple makes "security" excuses for why this can't be done.  This is bullshit to the average person.  And it is starting to be so for regulators as well.

Europeans are getting tired of the E-Waste being generated for its electronics.  They would like to have a simple wiring standard that can be used on all common electronic devices, and they want to standardize on USB-C.  Apple is strongly against, this, as this is the first step towards making Apple play nice in the sandbox and acting like all other electronics manufacturers.  Europe wants people to make "Oranges to Oranges" comparisons between products, and not force people to choose between one manufacturer's ecosystem vs. another manufacturer's (or group) ecosystem.

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About 160 years ago, the United States had no standards for simple things such as screw threads.  This caused us a lot of grief when we started mass production of manufactured foods.  We needed to standardize specifications for most of the basic products, such as screw threads.  How thick they had to be, what angle did they wrap around the screw, and how much distance between the threads had to be included in this standard.  Standardizing screws, nuts, bolts, was only one part of the problem.  Even the screw heads had to be standardized.  In America, we have the flat head and Phillips screwdrivers.  But in Canada, they have one more variety - the Richardson head.  (I think this to be a superior design to the Phillips head, but I won't go into it here.)  Standardization has forced American manufacturers to compete on both quality and price, and has allowed us a greater variety of product providers had standardization not been mandated.

Yet, there is value to competing standards - for a while.  Does anyone remember VHS vs. Beta?  Although Sony's product was technically the better product, it failed in the marketplace.  Video Tape Recorder manufacturers standardized on VHS before the product itself (the VCR) became obsolete. Competition doesn't always mean that the best product will survive.  It means that a product at a decent value/price point will survive.  But what happens when the market stabilizes with two standards.  Does this benefit the consumer?

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For me, the jury is out.  I own both Apple and Android products, and prefer my Android products.  Although I use an iPad, it is not my favorite device.  I would prefer to buy a new Samsung tablet if I could get one with connectivity to the 4g/5g cell phone networks.  Yes, there are drawbacks to this approach.  Most manufacturers of Android products do not maintain them for as long as Apple does for its products.  So in a way, it seems like we have a modern day equivalent of a Coke vs Pepsi Taste Challenge. As for me, I'll "Make Mine Moxie!"