A little volunteering and a little clothes shopping.

The above picture was taken when I first started trying to dress androgynously.  I was not yet ready to wear a dress or skirt in public, nor was I prepared to present myself as a female.  I've sure come a long way since then!

- - - - - -

Last night was not a good night for sleep.  I woke up at 8 am with only 4 hours of sleep, and went back to sleep shortly after 10, waking up at 1 pm.  Of course, this meant that I was not going to get out and about early in the day as I had hoped.  Instead, I got to the LGBT Center for a 90 minute volunteer stint at 3:30-4:00, and left around 5:30.  This was truly non-eventful, as I wasn't that busy when doing my tasks.

Afterwards, I drove over to Catherine's in Paramus to browse the store.  I could use a new pair of leggings or two, but I didn't find ones I liked in my size.  So I ended up not buying anything today.  (I have my eyes on a scarf and a chenille sweater that go very well together.  The sweater is so soft and cozy, that I'll buy it as soon as it goes on sale.)  Since this will likely be my last visit before "Black Friday", I took note of the price points on garments I wanted to buy and will likely buy them as soon as they reach the point I feel they are worth my money.

- - - - - -

After I got back home, I chatted with GFJ for the better part of an hour.  She had just returned from Florida, enjoying a few days at a housing development ("The Villages") that they hope to market to potential snowbirds like GFJ.  However, GFJ will likely never move to a development like The Villages, as there is not enough there to make her comfortable living there.  As for me, if I ever get to the stage where I want to live down south part of the year, I'd consider living in a development like that - as long as I'm not stuck with excessive costs in doing so.

I don't know how I woke up without the alarm, but it was worth the effort to get out early.

It's always hard to get an oil change at Mavis these days.  The place is usually very busy, and that means business like mine gets pushed to the side to accommodate more profitable efforts, such as selling tires.  But if you get to the shop early enough, you can usually get in and out of the place before 10 am.  Instead of a trip for minor service costing me $500 at the dealership, my car can get what it needs for under $200.  And when one is living on a fixed income, the $300 is better in my pocket than in the dealership's till.

- - - - - -

Last night, I knew that I had to wake up early the following morning.  So I went to bed around 1 am, started the "white noise" maker, put on my CPAP mask, and readied myself for a few hours of sleep.  While I was semiconscious, my phone rang.  Seems that RO accidentally dialed me, and killed the call as soon as she started it.  But that didn't keep me alert for long, as I passed out again shortly afterwards.

When I got up, it was a couple of minutes before 7.  So I turned off all my alarms, took my shower, and went out the door as Mario.  I arrived at Mavis at 8, and asked them to look at my front end when they did the oil change and rotated the tires.  I was right, when I hit the curb last Thursday, I knocked the front end a little out of alignment.  So I was glad I got this taken care of before I ruined my tires by uneven tread wear. About $160 later, my car was ready, and I was ready to drive home.  So back to Croton I drove, and back to bed I went for a little while to try and catch up on a few Z's I missed the night before.

- - - - - -

Of course, with the coffee I consumed earlier, I didn't have a chance to catch those Z's.  Instead, I took care of a couple of little things around the house and took it easy for a while. But then, I realized that I may have an interesting set of schedule conflicts.  Either I will need to cancel my attendance at a FTF Meetup dinner or cancel my attendance at a Beacon Meetup dinner due to a dinner engagement with RO.  It'll be nice to be able to see her again this year, as she had some good news to share - her daughter is finally getting married!  YAY!

But I digress a little....

Around 5:00, I started to get ready for tonight's meetup by changing into my female presentation.  It took a little longer than expected for me to get out the door, and I barely made it in time to the Meetup's restaurant.  The usual gang was there, but I couldn't sit at the table I wanted to be at - the last 3 seats had already been taken, so I ended up at another table with other people I don't get the chance to speak with that often.

Originally, I figured that I would order a small dish and get out of the place for $25 or so.  Instead, I ordered the prix fixe 3 course dinner, and ended up spending roughly $50.  (I was glad I took a $50 bill with me, as it made it possible for me to leave a nice tip without going overboard.)  Of course, I fluttered between our 3 tables, chatting with people I wanted to chat with.  However, I didn't chat with all the people I wanted to chat with - the appetizers and main course came while in the middle of chats with friends.  (At least, I'll get to chat with these people the week after Thanksgiving.)

All too soon, the evening had to end.  So it was on with my coat, and back down to Croton and home. Although I can't keep up spending money at this rate without cracking open my 401k, I'm roughly where I expected to be today.  Hopefully, one of the jobs I'm applying for will come though, and I'll be able to stop the short term drain on my savings account.

A rainy day, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go out again.

I decided to try and get an oil change, but to no avail.  The cars were double parked inside of Mavis's parking lot.  If I really want to get the tire rotation and oil change I need at a reasonable price, I'll have to go very early tomorrow morning.

- - - - - -

Last night, I didn't start trying to go to sleep until 2 am or so.  And it seemed to take forever for me to fall out.  But when I finally woke up, I had blown through 2 alarms, only waking up for a 10 am alarm I had set.  This meant that it was going to take some time for me to get moving, and I stayed in the comfort of a warm blanket as long as possible. Eventually, I was up and out of the house around 1 pm, and saw that there was no chance for me to get the oil change I need.  So I ended up picking up lunch at the local Mickey D's, then drove home for a while.

Around 4 pm, I looked out the window, and saw that it was raining.  Did I really want to drive to Connecticut?  I wasn't sure.  But I still had a couple of things to take care of.  First, I had received a "Canvas Letter" from NYS asking me to express my interest in a position across the river from me.  So I ran off a copy of my resume, and enclosed it with a signed copy of the letter, and returned it to Albany to be considered for the position.  Then, I found that my printer had run out of ink.  So, in addition to the Dermablend foundation I needed to buy, I also needed to buy a new ink cartridge for the printer.

I left my apartment around 5:30, which should have given me enough time to make it to the meetup in Norwalk.  Luckily, I allocated the extra 15 minutes, as there was a major backup on Route 95 that I was able to avoid by taking the Merritt.  And I got to the restaurant at the same time that the hostess was arriving.  Instead of sitting down at our table, we realized that "Happy Hour" ended at 7, and that we could still get a discounted drink at the bar.  So we placed our drink orders, had the bartender take the picture above, and then brought our drinks to the table.  From there, most of us partook of Monday's $6 burger night.  YUM!

All too soon, it was time to depart.  The drive home was less of a headache than the drive to the meetup - there was no rush hour start and stops.  However, the rain did get in the way of enjoying the drive, as I had to be much more alert than I usually would be. So I was very glad that I didn't take full advantage of Happy Hour....

A weekend in the middle of the month

The weekend.  Most people live for it.  As for me, those two days are like any other day.  This is both the blessing and curse of being out of the workforce for several years.  I have the freedom to do what I want, but no urgency to getting around to doing it.

- - - - - -

This weekend, the only thing I really wanted to do was to go to dinner with Vicki #1.  So, on Friday night, I decided to give my wig a bath and let it dry overnight.  This allowed me to have fresh, clean hair on my head when we would go to Xavier's H2O in Yonkers in the evening.

For the most part, I hung out around the house all day Saturday.  My GI Tract was giving me problems, and it did so just before I got ready for the evening.  As usual for me when going to a fancy restaurant, it was on with the LBD and some of my nicer costume jewelry, and out the door when Vicki arrived.

Vicki has grown very uncomfortable driving in the dark.  So I agreed to do the driving to Yonkers.  In a way, it was like visiting a past that is long gone.  My late wife worked near the Getty Square area, opposite the former city jail.  I remembered the area with quite a few run down industrial structures made of old red brick.  Most of those structures have been either been rehabbed to look better than new.  And the ones that have been town have been replaced by sleek, new multistory buildings which fetch excessive rents.  And this would effectively be my first time back in the area in years.
 
Xavier's is in the building which used to be the old Yonkers pier. To park there, one must use Valet parking shared between two restaurants.  It's not bad when one drops of her car. But when one picks up her car, the wait in the cold on the waterfront can be quite chilling - I was glad I was wearing tights under my dress. 

Vicki preceded me into the restaurant.  The dining floors of the place were one and two stories off of water level.  I'd bet that they are making sure that in case of potential floods, that the operations areas of the restaurant are unaffected.  But I digress.  We arrived at the reception desk and were guided to a table on the second floor.  (The above is the view from the window directly behind me. It's nice to have the NYC skyline as a distant background.)  There's not much I can say about the place better than that I'd go back there in a heartbeat. The service was excellent, and everything put in front of us was perfect.

We talked about many things on the way home, including my relationship with GFJ and the possibility of my finding another partner.  She was trying to avoid unnecessary cruelty to me in saying that "not every pot has a lid."  (Not her words, but it's an expression that works here.) This is something I already knew, and was comfortable with her being able to tell me an uncomfortable truth that I've had to deal with for a while.

Eventually, we made it home, and she left for the evening.  As for me, I stripped off my dressed and packed it in for the night.  What I didn't know at the time was that I wouldn't be going out the following day.  I had no energy or desire to get up and about.  Nor, did I see any other reason to have me do so.   







Dinner with Vicki

What I think was a minor cold woke me up, and kept me awake until I used some cold/cough syrup. 

Comparing prices on long and short cruises.

On a solo cruise I took last year, I found out about this cruise from a woman who planned to take it in 2020.  However, her mother needed eye surgery.  And in Canada, you take the dates you can get for non-essential surgery.  This means that she won't be on this cruise. But I may still go on it.

When I first ran the numbers this summer, I figured that I should budget at least $4,000 for the trip, broken down as follows:

• Base Fare          - $2298 (includes $1149 single supplement)
• Port Fees/Taxes -     543
• Gratuities           -     315
  ---------------------------------
  Simple Cruise    - $3360
   
• Trip to NYC Pier -       60
•  from Seattle Pier -     40
  ---------------------------------
  Simple land cost  -    100
• Airfare (SEA-JFK) -   250
• Trip JFK to Home    -  60
  ---------------------------------
  Minimum Cost    - $3870

Of course, things aren't always what they seem.  I decided to see what the current price for the cruise was listed for on vacationstogo.com, and saw that the cost for an inside cabin had dropped by $200.  This means that I'd still be close to $3,800 for the cruise without any excursions.  That wasn't good enough for me.  So, in late October, I checked ncl.com for the same cruise and got the following results:

• Studio Cabin: from $2,099
• Inside Cabin:  from $1,198
• Oceanview:    from $2,099
• Balcony:         from $2,399
• Mini-Suite:      from $2,849

You'll notice that having an inside cabin costs less than having a studio cabin.  There is more room in the inside cabin, but it does not have access to the studio cabin's lounge area. But the $1,000 difference in price from the time I started tracking this cruise and now is making me reconsider taking this cruise.  My net daily expense (excluding land/air transit) would drop from $160/day to $100/day.  My net minimum cost has dropped to under $3,000. This looks like a great bargain in the making.

Towards the end of July, I noted in my old blog that NCL practices yield management. This means that one can and will see pricing anomalies throughout the sales life of the cruise. Once within 90 days of the cruise, most of the people who have planned to go on the cruise have already made their bookings for the cruise.  And this is the period where price/value calculations start to create anomalies more exaggerated than the $900 difference between the studio cabin and the inside cabin above.  This is also the period where I start seriously tracking prices for cruises I want to take, so that I can pounce on a rare great deal.

Not all great deals are a result of complex yield management. Within the last month before the cruise, some lines (such as Princess) offer last minute specials.  I logged into princess.com priced a last minute 15 day Hawaii cruise (including air) from San Francisco leaving the first weekend in November, and got inside cabin price of $922/per person. 

• Base Fare          - $1844 (includes $922 single supplement)
• Port Fees/Taxes -     241
• Gratuities           -     225
  ----------------------------------
  Simple Cruise --  - $2310

Of course, airfare might have to be bought through the cruise line, as last minute airfares can be very expensive otherwise.  I expect that the Hawaii cruise would likely set me back close to $3,500, as I would want to take the shore excursions I wouldn't bother taking on the Panama Canal run. Considering that Princess can not offer 7 day Hawaii cruises that only NCL can offer, I'd bet that Princess will offer similar last minute deals on their Hawaii runs as the sale time for each cruise starts to run out.  So, if I want to do a Hawaii run, I may hold off until it is close to embarkation day and take advantage of any last minute discounts that may be offered.

Compare the NCL 7 day Hawaii cruise above to the Princess 15 day cruise mentioned earlier.  The NCL cruise overnights in Kauai (Nawiliwili) and Maui (Kahului), while the Princess cruise daylights these ports. The extra time in port gives the cruiser much more time to enjoy the two islands.  The minor (to me) drawback of taking the NCL cruise is that there is no gambling on the cruise, as gambling is illegal in Hawaii.  But the most important difference between the two cruise line's ships is that NCL sails with an American flagged ship, while Princess sails with a "flag of convenience."  This forces Princess to make a stop in a foreign port at least once per cruise. Thus, Princess must offer 15 day cruises with a single stop in Ensenada (Mexico) if it wants to service the Hawaii cruise market.

The difference between what NCL can offer for a last minute Hawaii cruise vs. what Princess can offer for a similar cruise becomes very interesting when I look at NCL's price for a Thanksgiving time cruise.  For the November 23, 2019 cruise, I got the following results:

• Inside Cabin:  from    $899
• Oceanview:    from    $929
• Balcony:         from $1,299
• Mini-Suite:     from $5,598 (includes 100% single supplement)

Let's factor in roughly $700 for airfare, $250 for port fees, $100 for land transit, $105 for gratuities, and another $600 for shore excursions, and my total expenses for a 7 day cruise would be in the $2,700 range for an Oceanview cabin. Since NCL offers this cruise on a weekly basis, I'd bet that deals like this may show up relatively often.

You'll note that I've focused on cruises that sail within the next 6 months which stop in United States and Canadian ports. Being transgender, I need to feel safe in those few ports that I go on shore - especially while traveling with an ID showing a male presentation but presenting as a female. The Panama Canal and Hawaii cruises are (for most people) "once in a lifetime" trips, and I want to take both before I get too old to travel.

I slept late, and found I had nothing to do after all.

Last night, I must have been exhausted.  Normally, I get to sleep around 2 am or so, and wake up between 8 and 9 am.  Today, I woke up a little before noon, and didn't get moving until about 1 pm.  This got in the way of me driving to Mavis in time for me to get a needed oil change and tire rotation.  But if I get up and out early enough tomorrow, this won't be a problem.

But first....

Given how tired I was yesterday, sleeping late this morning was a great blessing.  Getting 10+ hours of sleep is very important, and I felt very rested when I got up.  However, I realized that I had to check on things.  The first thing I did was to check the status of a meetup being held tonight.  The organizer had cancelled it due to a lack of interest.  It's no great loss.  This person has organized and disbanded several groups in the past, and never seems to keep one open long enough to gain a loyal group of followers.  (I attended one of the two women's groups she organized, and didn't feel as welcome as I did with the Fun Time Friends in Connecticut.)  Next, I got showered and dressed (as Mario), and visited Mavis to see about getting my car service done.  As I mentioned earlier, this wasn't possible today, as they had cars double parked in their parking lot.  But I did have a great chat with the desk clerk, a 21 year old fellow with much of his life ahead of him.

Going home from Mavis, I had to stop by the bank and get some money from the ATM.  One big problem - the ATM's card reader was having problems with my card.  Since this is the second time this happened on the same machine (worse now than before), I decided to inside the branch to report a problem.  Getting to the teller station, we checked my card by putting it in the reader there - no problems.  Hopefully, they will fix the problem with the outdoor ATM, as I don't like the headache of being unsure of my card's usefulness to me.

As much as I wanted to change and go out again as Marian, I couldn't find the energy to do so.  Instead, I stayed at home and took care of some little things before packing it in for the night.

It's amazing how much mess I made and had to unmake.

No, this is not my bedroom.  Mine was much more messy than this when my cleaning lady called yesterday to tell me that she was coming over today.  So I made even more of a mess before cleaning things up at 3 am.  But I got a lot done, as 3 baskets of laundry that were in the chest in front of my bed were condensed into a half basket - all ready to be sorted out and put into the correct places.

- - - - - -

I often dread the days that my cleaning lady is expected, as I can never be sure of when (or if) she will come.  She is supposed to come here no earlier than lunch time.  But sometimes, things are cut way too close for my comfort.  Luckily, I was able to get her to limit her visits to either Thursdays or Fridays, as Thursday was my scheduled day to volunteer at the LGBT Center. This allowed me the security of knowing I could sleep late on the other days, and take "Jammie Days" whenever I need to take them.

You might ask, why do I keep this lady in my employ?  The answer is simple - she is honest.  The only thing I find missing in my apartment is garbage.  Other people have to keep an eye on their cleaning ladies, as many have sticky fingers.  I was lucky to have a friend refer this lady to me, and I still employ her over 20 years later on.

- - - - - -

This semester, Thursdays also have me attending speech therapy sessions.  The two students are trying our new ideas every week.  Last week, they gave me a carry over assignment eared to have me mimic the vocal and body language used in a couple of video clips.  However, it's hard for me to do so, as I react very differently than the main characters in the clips.  For example, I never would have reacted as Lucy would in her show - I'd have never knowingly let someone hold me down.  But then, I am not a woman of the 1950's. And I am thankful for that. 

Doing the carry over exercise this morning, I realized that my voice is a little lower than I would have wanted this morning. Is it because I am not exercising my upper range enough?  I don't know.  But as long as I can stay in the androgynous pitch range and continue developing feminine vocal inflections, I'll be happy where I'm going with my voice.

- - - - - -

I was very tired when I left the house, and thought my problem could be either one of two things: sleep deprivation or lack of food energy.  So I decided to go to a Chinese Buffet near White Plains to have a bite to eat. However, the food didn't help much.  Driving over to Mercy, I went through a construction zone, got distracted outside the zone, and hit a curb.  Although I don't think I did any serious damage to the tire or rim, I will bring this incident up when I go to Mavis for my oil change and tire rotation- just to have a more learned eye look at things.  Arriving at Mercy about 90 minutes early, I looked for a parking spot where I could rest for a while before going in for my session. Backing into a spot I found, I tapped the car behind me - something I rarely do.  At that point, I knew that I needed to take a nap, and that's what I did for an hour or so.

This week's speech therapy session went well.  But when I hear my voice, I feel I sound like a teenage boy whose voice hasn't cracked.  A comment I made about my voice is that I find it easier to speak with feminine prosody when I speak with an accent - especially, a southern accent.  They understand (even if they don't speak the language of cognitive psychology) that I have to overcome 62 years of male speech patterning and replace it with speech patterns appropriate for a 62 year old female.

- - - - - -

After the session, I drove home to relax and change into something more appropriate for a casual evening. A little more than 90 minutes later, I drove back to lower county to play games.  For a change, I won a game of San Juan.  Yay!  But the next game, Dixit, was a losing effort.  I couldn't get a clue, even if everything was explained to me as a child.  Yet, I had fun, and that's the important thing.