Guess what came in today....

 

Guess what I unexpectedly found on my doorstep today.   A box!!! 

But what could be in it?  You may ask....

Inside, I found two boxes like the one below:

 

 Hmmm...  This is getting interesting.  Could it be something useful?

So, I opened one of them, and saw the following goodies, plus an instruction sheet:

 

This looks amazingly familiar....

But what could it be?

 

Yes, miracles do happen!!!   It is the replacement control unit for  my air conditioner!  YAY!

- - - - - -

As you can see, some disassembly/assembly is required.  And I do not plan to do this while the NYC Tristate area can expect several days of 90+ weather.  So the boxes will sit for a while, waiting for a "cooler" day for me to work on this project.

 

Getting out and about as Marian

 

Like many transgender people, I was very nervous when I went out in female clothing for the first time.  To transmit femininity, I always erred on the feminine side of things.  But this wasn't always the best thing to do.  Like many people of our "tribe", I had to learn how to be comfortable in the feminine equivalents of male garments.  In short, I had to learn how to wear feminine trouser like garments that say "female" without overdoing it.

These days, you'll find me going out in a pair of women's slacks, with a feminine top.  It says "female" without having to shout it out loud.  In the ugly picture above, you'll note that I am wearing leggings under that top.  And they are comfortable.  Now if only I had the curves to do what I wear justice!  Depending on what I wear, I can look good - or, look like a watermelon packed into a sausage casing. Either way, I am not happy with my appearance.

In the end, none of us look as good as we hope to look, nor do we look as bad as we fear.  I live in an area that tolerates people like us as long as we do our best to blend in.  I'll never be that pretty, but I make my way around.  And that may be the most important thing....

Interesting Reads

 

 

I'd like to  describe the job I now will likely hold for a few more days (at least, until my immediate supervisor returns from her Hawaii vacation.)

- - - - - -

Unlike my position at the US Census, people at my current job see me as an oversized older woman named Marian.  Only one person in HR officially knows my legal identity is that of a male named Mario.  Most of the tasks in the office are highly repetitive.  For example, I did QC on scanned documents.  This meant that I scanned the documents for blank pages, poorly scanned images, and other flaws that would require operator intervention.  Now, I perform document indexing.  This means that I will inspect a document such as (Disciplinary Suspension of Rudolph Guiliani's License to Practice Law) and then enter indexing data into a database where this document resides.  In both cases, I had the opportunity to do a little more than just do my job.  I took the opportunity to learn things people wouldn't normally learn by keeping my eyes open - and then keep my mouth shut about the details of what information to which I once had access. (I'll never be able to talk about personal data I may have gathered as part of my duties at the Census Bureau, and I treat the non-public data I've seen on this job in the same way.)  Privately, I might say a little bit more than what I've mentioned here - but not much.  The reason I reference the disciplinary action taken against Rudy Guiliani is that this is a public document, something which has been published in the New York Times.

Unfortunately, I can not say much more than I have done so far.  It has been a good experience for me, as it has shown me some of my shortcomings and my limitations.  Since I expect to be leaving this job soon, I am glad that I have been there for 6 months (so far), and I wish them all the best luck going forward.

Three meetups in less than a week.

 

This isn't going to be a long post.  But it notes several things which have happened in the past few days.  Take them for what they are, and read into them what you will:

1. Sunday, I saw someone at a meetup who tried her best to keep me away from several meetup groups she claimed as her own.  It was a pleasant interaction, and went better than I expected.
2. Wednesday, I decided to drop into a meetup where my "Hiking Partner" from Thursday night games was there for Trivia night.  I only wish I could have gotten there earlier.
3. Thursday, I went to a new meetup held on City Island.  It's been over 25 years since I've been to this restaurant, and the food was good enough to want to return much sooner than that.

In all cases, I went to these meetups in Marian Mode, and it was easier for me (and the group) for me to appear as a female.  At the Sunday meetup, I was surprised that one person complimented me on my dress AND noted that I looked happier than I've looked in a while.  (Compliments will go far with me. 😃)

- - - - - -

Over time, I've developed a more natural manner being out and about as Marian.  I'm hoping that newly out transgender folk can see my posts and learn from my hard experience....

Not yet ready

 

When I look at this face, all I can say is that I didn't look "ready for prime time".  I had someone cruising with me who was blind to the risks I'd face if I went on-shore at the wrong ports.  If I had had her with me when I cruised to some Eastern Caribbean ports a year or two later, I'd have been in big trouble.  The rules for LGBT travelers advise us to avoid these islands like the plague, because we (by our nature) are breaking their laws and their taboos.

So when I registered for a recent meetup, I wondered if a recent pattern would hold - would my ex-girlfriend continue to avoid me if I were to attend the same meetup?  If we attended the meetup, what would happen?  I had a lot to worry about, but all for naught.  It was a pleasant interaction - even though I was in Marian mode.  (It makes me wonder why she made all the big fuss about "owning" the meetup groups in the first place.  But that's another story.)

Why do I mention all of this?  Well, none of us are ever fully ready to take on needed challenges in life. If we are able to be fully prepared, then some things will no longer be a challenge to us.  I didn't think I'd be ready to see my ex, and it went off smoothly.  (Given the arguments we had after the breakup, a lot of things could have happened.)  But most of all, my feminine presentation is still far from perfect.  If I had waited until I was fully ready to go out as Marian, I'd still be in the closet.

Life is all about taking chances.  To live well, one must break out of one's cocoon and become a butterfly.  It's time to do so....

 

A date with my niece

 

As you can see, my niece is fully masked up.  In an age where we finally got an "all clear" for being vaccinated, there are enough A--holes in our society that are putting the rest of us at risk by remaining unvaccinated.  She can't wait for the day that she will no longer need the mask, and that she and her husband can visit this country together.

My niece usually puts her friends first, and tries to squeeze her aunt/uncle in as free time permits.  Today was no different.  So when I received her text telling me that we could meet after work, I jumped at the chance to do so.  However, I would have to go home to change into something comfortable and feminine before seeing her in NYC.  And this delayed my arrival at the Rubin museum, as I arrived there shortly after 7:30 pm.  (The museum is usually open until 10, so even an 8:15 ticket time is quite reasonable.)

While waiting for our tickets to be valid for admission, I mentioned many things regarding what I plan to do with my assets when I pass away.  (Hopefully not for a long time....)  And she knows NOT to let my brother into my place until it has been purged of things I don't want him to know about (yet).  She was surprised when I told her about a conversation I recently had with my ex, and she noted - why should I still bother with her, given the way she treated me last year?  (She is wise beyond her years.) And I noted - in spite of everything, I'd sill like to be friends.  Not the excessive intimacy (non physical) that my former cruise partner and I once had, but someone who I can chat with and occasionally have as an activity partner.  However, I doubt that this will happen, as the ex-girlfriend tends to avoid social events I plan to attend.

My niece and I  walked through the museum, and marveled that there is so much beautiful art in one place.  However, the focus on this category of Asian art (Himalyayas and Tibet) is very different from Chinese and Japanese art.  It seems to focus on the temporary nature of life and the impermanence of things in this world.  Things that Westerners may see as sexual may be seen as a unity of all "forces" of nature to the cultures of these areas.

All too soon, our evening had to end.  We walked back to Penn Station, where she had to rush off to a train.  I picked up some grub there, as I knew that nothing would be open at Grand Central.  And I was right....

- - - - - -

One thing I will comment on in a future post is a transgender person living in her authentic gender tends to live a relatively boring life once she isn't switching gender presentations on a daily basis.  With the exception of putting on a wig, shaving my body hair off, and wearing chest prosthesis, most of my life is that of a typical female.  No, I will never have the natural plumbing of a typical female.  But that's OK.  I am not looking to reproduce.  Yet, it would be interesting if someone called me pretty....

I'll miss my friends in Texas

 

I was supposed to catch up with my friends in Texas, but forgot all about it.  I'll miss both SB and JS, as they helped me get through the worst of the pandemic with their Zoom Meetups.  Sadly, all good things come to an end.  But this time, I know that all of us are in better places now than we were 15 months ago.

Do I want to see them in person?  Yes, but my problem is that I am transgender, and that Texas is not friendly to people of my ilk.  There may be some places I can safely go, as Kim from Traveling Transgender may attest, but Texas is a whole other place.  She has documented many of her travels in the past.  However, she hasn't been doing many flights while pretty these days.  (At the time I write this, her last blog post was over 7 months ago.)  I miss her adventures. 

Maybe I should write her for advice?

I finally went to a Hudson Valley Meetup and found the group owner is stepping down.

 

This is a happy and sad post at the same time.  The other night, I went to a meetup with a friend.  Tonight, I found out that the hostess of this group is leaving in October.  One less group in the Hudson Valley that I want to go to.  I'll have to give my ex-girlfriend credit - she chose to keep me out of the one group that survived Covid using methods that I consider unethical.  But then, she's very afraid of dealing with her feelings if she were to see me in person again.

But I don't want to dwell on the past - only reference it.

Now that the worst of the pandemic seems to be over, people are starting to attend meetup groups in person again.  This is a good thing.  There is a new group that I might choose to attend soon.  It'll be much better for me to go there than to schlep into Connecticut.  And yet, I'm not planning on filling my calendar with meetups.  I don't want to get addicted to going out.  Instead, I want to start nourishing my soul again, visiting museums (for one thing) without worrying about whether I'd be missing out on human connections. 

Lately, I've been seeing a lady (as Mario) that knows of my existence as Marian, and hasn't yet run away from me.  No, I don't think we'll be a couple for the long term.  But I'm working on developing a relationship (as friends) that will survive the end of dating.  The other day, I read an article  (Most romantic relationships start as friendships, study finds) on CNN's website.  I want to date the kind of person who I'd want to have as a friend first, and not the kind of person I'd get bored with quickly, and this article helped me understand why I do so.  There are other women I'm chatting with that I have yet to meet.  And I'm holding out some hope that one of them may like the overall package I'm offering when the time comes to see them....

https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/20/health/romantic-relationships-start-as-friends-wellness/index.html

A Quick Air Conditioner Update

 

I figured that I'd make another quick post about my Air Conditioners....

On Saturday, I sent a quick message to Friedrich regarding the Firmware for my AC.  Today, I received a reply telling me that it is back ordered, with no shipping date yet available.  So I asked the gentleman another quick question: Do I need 2 separate shipments?

I'll keep you informed.  At least, I'm keeping cool up here....

It's nice to be able to play games on a Thursday night again

 

It's been almost a month since I've been able to join the group playing games in Yonkers.  And it was great fun being there, even though I had to leave early so that I could go to work early the next morning.  

- - - - - -

Like one person I know, for whom going to her meetups are like going to church, this meetup is like a church for me.  It's where I feel at home.  Unlike that person, I wouldn't be bothered if she were to come to my meetup and meet the welcoming people there.  It is a warm and friendly bunch of people.

I have a simple rule of thumb that I will use to determine whether a person is a good fit for me.  First, will she accept me both as Mario and as Marian?  And if so, would she fit in with this group of people.  Unlike the girlfriend in my last relationship, I will invite the special person in my life to join me now and then.  I won't want for that person to feel excluded from my life.

- - - - - -

Why do I reference the past here?  Well, even when one is looking forward, one has to look in the rear view mirror to make sure that what's in the past stays there.  If the connection between two points is a line, then I want to make sure that I'm heading in the right direction, and not doubling back on my path.

Right now, I'm seeing a nice lady.  But I don't think she'll be the right person for me.  She's not as well versed in as many things as I am, things that help to define the popular culture of the age in which we grew up.  For example, I don't expect a potential partner to have watched as many movies as I have.  But I do expect that partner to know that "As Time Goes By" comes from the movie "Casablanca."  I would expect that woman to know that "When I'm sixty four" is a classic Beatles' tune.  I could go on and on, but I'd be making this person sound much worse than she is.  And I don't want to do her an injustice.  (There is one red flag that I can not ignore, but I won't mention it here right now.)

Compared to last year, things are looking up for me in the dating department.  There are some people I'll want to keep as friends.  And there are some people who are total bores.  Over time, I expect that things will work themselves out.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

A quick note on life passing way too quickly

 

It's hard to believe that I haven't found the time to write a new entry for several days.  So I figure that I should put down some bullets to let you know what's happening in my life....

- - - - - -

First, I'm still waiting on getting a fix to the broken Wi-Fi connectivity on my air conditioners.  Later today, I'll be writing Friedrich's CEO to let him (or one of his flunkies) know that I'm very upset that they don't have a solution to my problem yet....

Believe it or not, I'm still going to my mind numbing job.  I don't know how long I will last there.  But I can use the money, I enjoy going to work as Marian, and I have nothing else to give me reasons to get up in the morning at a schedule that most people consider normal.

And last, I am going to see my friend, LK, the former student clinician from Mercy who helped me with my voice training.  It will be a rushed dinner, but something we've wanted to fit in for a long while.

It's now 2 weeks since I first started to call for tech support, and still nada....

 

Air conditioners are relatively simple mechanical devices. A pump compresses a refrigerant (Freon was once the most common one used), passes it through a nozzle which cools a refrigerant that is then passed through a radiator to cool the air in a room. (I hope I got the process correct here.) Waste heat from the warmed refrigerant is passed through an external radiator to the outside of the building. With the exception of the refrigerant being changed over the years to protect the environment, the principle used in today's machines is the same as that used several generations ago.

What has changed is the electronic circuitry controlling the units.   It has grown much more complex, so that it can maintain a constant temperature as desired, turn the machine on and off at selected times without operator intervention, and conserve energy which was wasted in older air conditioner design.  In the case of my two new air conditioners, the manufacturer has implemented a Wi-Fi interface, so that one can control the unit from one's own cell phone.  By today's standards, this is not rocket science.  But it is something that Friedrich as gotten wrong.  Both of my units have faulty Wi-Fi connectivity which has not yet been corrected by a manufacturer supplied firmware update.  

As of the time this entry was written, all I have is a case number and some nice words from tech support.  No fix has yet been shipped. And I expect that the manufacturer does not care much about quality control, as it rushed to send these units to distributors (and on to retail customers) before it verified that the product was ready to ship.

So here is the second letter I sent to the CEO of Friedrich:

Dear Mr. Campbell,

This is the second time I’ve taken the time to write you due to support issues I’ve had with my Friedrich Wallmaster Air Conditioner.  Unfortunately, when my second new unit arrived, it has the same Wi-Fi issue as the first unit – I cannot use the Friedrich Connect app on my phone to control either AC unit.

On Friday (7/9), I was able to reach the same polite gentleman who assisted me on the prior Tuesday (7/6).  This fellow told me that he was a little backed up, and that he couldn’t get the case number established that day – but he gave me one (20536) on Friday.  However, he wasn’t able to send me the firmware update at that time to allow me to get my Wi-Fi connectivity problem fixed. 

On Saturday (7/10), my second AC was delivered and installed in my bedroom. I then tried to connect my phone with it to no avail.  When I checked the unit’s firmware, it was at the same level as its sibling in the living room, thus explaining why it also had connectivity problems.

Case number:  20536

Living Room Unit: Bedroom Unit:
Model: WCT16A30A Model: WCT12A10A
Firmware: 1.02 Firmware: 1.02

As of today, I have not received the help I need to get the Wi-Fi functions of my Wallmaster units working properly. The last time I was in contact with this person at tech support, he noted that it would take 3 days to receive a tracking number. There was no mention on when I would receive the fix that I need to use all the features of my air conditioner. When I contacted him again on Tuesday (7/20), he still had no idea when I could get my AC’s Wi-Fi fixed.

I would appreciate any and all help you (or your office) can give me to get this issue resolved promptly.

So far, I have had no success with Friedrich.  Soon, I plan to let the people who sold me my air conditioners know what is going on so that they can be aware of potential problems in the units they sell.  Additionally, since they have more influence as distributors than I have as a customer, maybe they can get the word out to the people at Friedrich who can get things done.  Who knows?

I only wonder when I'll have this issue resolved....

 

 

An impromptu dinner with Vicki, plus some vacation plans

 

Both Vicki and I enjoy Greek food.  So Vicki decided to treat me for dinner at the new Greek restaurant in town.  Since this would be a last minute decision for me, as I expected to be very tired after work, I had to provide for doing two things.  First, I'd have to call Friedrich to check up on the status on my AC service call.  And then, I'd have to change into something comfortable and pretty for going outside in this weather. (I dress more warmly for work, as the AC is cranked up to counter the heat coming from the computers and imaging equipment found at every desk.)

I met Vicki at 7, and we decided to eat at an outside table.  (Inside tables were all taken.)  We talked about many things, including our former loves.  (She'll always wonder about one road not taken. And I'll always wonder if a former love really knew what she wanted when she met me.)  One thing we both agreed on is that I was lucky to only have had a "minor flesh wound" caused by my former love - things would have been much worse had we been living together or had been married when her real personality finally came out in an argument.  But enough on that topic - she'll never admit that I had valid points in our dispute, and it would be pointless to argue with someone resistant to acknowledging alternate points of view.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been looking at future cruise trips.  All of these involve cruises to/in Hawaii.  The first of these vacations is the shortest (10 days), yet the most expensive.

This is a 7 day cruise out of Honolulu, coupled with a 3 day tour of its island's (Oahu) most popular tourist attractions.  It is only offered by one cruise line (NCL), as it is on the only American owned, staffed, flagged, and built ship operating at the present time.  I won't go into the reasons why most ships fly "flags of convenience" here. But this route is the only regularly scheduled route restricted to American flagged ships, and why it is the most expensive option on my list at roughly $6,000 for a solo traveler. (It was priced less before the pandemic, but post-pandemic prices have zoomed upward due to reduced capacity and pent up demand.)  Couple this trip with airfare, excursions, taxes, port fees and gratuities, and I could be spending $9,000 for a trip I could have once taken for under $6,000.  Right now, there is one important advantage to this cruise - all passengers must be vaccinated for Covid-19 before taking this trip.

Next on the list is a 15 night cruise out of Los Angeles.  This is on Princess, and has a much shorter time in Hawaii than the first cruise due to its foreign flagged ship.

Do I really want to spend more time on a ship and see less of Hawaii to save a few bucks?  I could cut down the money I spend to roughly $5,000 - and I can afford that with little trouble.  However, some of Princess's cruises allow unvaccinated passengers on board, and I don't want to deal with the hassles these passengers may present.

Second to last might be the longest cruise of the choices on my list - 18 days.  I'd be flying in and out of Vancouver, and then cruising to Hawaii on Holland America,

This might be the best option, as it allows for an overnight in Honolulu before the trip back to Vancouver.  Next to sailing on a ship that is based in Hawaii, this provides the most time in Hawaii that I can find at a reasonable price - in the $6,500 range for the vacation. 

Lastly, there is the most interesting option, a cruise that combines 2 bucket list trips into one: Alaska and Hawaii, leaving from Vancouver, BC and ending in Honolulu, HI.

I'd like to visit Skagway again, as well as seeing Juneau and Glacier Bay for the first time.  But do I want to pack for both summer and late fall / early winter weather?  Then, there is the extra factor that I would be leaving from a foreign port, and that I would want to travel in Marian Mode as much as possible.  Do I want to put up with these hassles? This could be a $7,500 trip without any extra plans. But there is an option for this trip that I haven't mentioned.  I could take the train to Seattle, spend a couple of days there, then another train to Vancouver, and spend a day there before the cruise.  I expect that this will add another $2,500 or so to the cost of this vacation.

Which option would you choose, and why?  Since I prefer to travel as Marian, I'd like to hear what you have to say....

 

 

 

PS: I have 3 travel guides for places I'll never have the chance to visit:

1. Molvania
2. San Sombrero
3. Phaic Tan

I wonder what you might have heard about these places.  Would you visit them, just for the unreal experience?

It's been a week since my first service call.

Since I don't have much news to report from the home front, I might as well talk about my air conditioner saga for a little while longer....

As, you, my readers know, I bought 2 air conditioners on a staggered schedule.  The first AC was delivered several weeks ago, but came with a firmware flaw which prevents me from using the Wi-Fi link to control the device from my cell phone.  This past Tuesday, I had the opportunity to talk with a nice service representative, and he got the process of getting updated firmware in motion.  Today, I called to see what's up, and I spoke with him again.

Hopefully, by this time next week, I'll have two fully functional air conditioners being controlled from either my iPad or my Android phone.

- - - - - -

I may have mentioned that I am replacing a semi-functional AC in my bedroom.  Yes, it works, but I can't rely on it.  So I'm spending the extra $1,000 to be sure that I have a working air conditioner that will last me several years.  How do I know it is doing something?  First, I've seen physical evidence that some cooling is going on: when I had the air filter touching the "cool-air radiator", I found that there was some ice on the filter.  Second, I'm seeing an occasional water droplet drain from the air conditioner when I look at my unit from the outside.

Will I get my $1,000 worth when the new bedroom AC comes?  I hope so.

 

 

 

PS: The bedroom AC unit was installed on Saturday, and it feels like it's cooling off the room much better than the old one.  Additionally, it has the same Wi-Fi issues as the one in the living room.

A quickie regarding my air conditioner problem.

 

 

Yes, it's another installment in my air conditioner story, because work has kept me too busy to have much of a life outside the office.

- - - - - -

Yesterday, I was finally able to reach someone from Tech Support who was willing to help me, although being overworked at the moment.  After 30 minutes of waiting, being next on queue, I realized that Friedrich's WiFi support is both understaffed and underappreciated.  So I played it nice when I finally reached the gentleman on the other side of the line.  He noted that he was backed up and wouldn't be able to start the exchange of emails that would allow me to resolve my Air Conditioner's WiFi problem. At this point, I calmly explained the situation from last week, and asked him to send me an email to make sure that he could reach me and that I could reach him.  (It also gave me a name to use in my next complaint latter, if one is needed.)  And that he did....

I need to get all this information from you:

Steps to get firmware:

1-. Click MENU button -
2-. Find the option ( SYS ) on the screen using the UP and DOWN arrows and click MENU whenever you find it.
3-. Go all the way down to the option FW and press MENU that will show you the Firmware of your unit.
4- Full Name -
5-. Full Address -
6-. What kind of phone are you using to connect ? ANDROID OR APPLE ?
7-. What error are you getting when you try to connect ? -
8-. Serial Number -
9-. Best callback number -
10-. Model number –

This was not a problem for me, and I sent him a response within 30 minutes.

Thanks for sending this so quickly!

Marian Johnson

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Model: WCT16A30A

Serial: ########

Firmware: 1.02

Looking to connect with: 

1. An Android Phone

2. An iPad

I want to be able to use both devices.

Friedrich Connect software on phone/iPad/and Website doesn't connect with the AC.  I've received "unable to initialize association process" and "Error X107 TypeError Network request failed."  it advises me to call Friedrich Support with information from message "2.0.1.10.123.45.2"  This info will come up on both iPad and Android phone.. The other gentleman (who was in a rush last Friday) told me that I needed a firmware upgrade based on what I was seeing.

Best callback number: 914-###-####.  Please note that I need to know in advance that I'll be receiving a call.  (I have some after work responsibilities that can make an unexpected call turn into a problem.)

Do you think I'll have this on another Wallmaster unit being delivered this week?  I had to replace the AC in my Living Room/Kitchen area first, and then decided to replace the Bedroom AC 3 weeks later.  Hopefully, I can get firmware for that unit (I don't remember the model number off hand, but it is a 12k BTU / 110v unit) that works "out of the box.". If so, can we accelerate the firmware update process for that unit if needed?

Since the gentleman on the other side of the line said that he was backed up and wouldn't be able to get back to me for a day or two, I figure that it makes sense to wait until after the weekend, as both air conditioners will be in place, and that I'll know if I have the same problem with my bedroom unit.  

Would I recommend Friedrich units to others?  Not unless they were forced to use a unit which would fit an old Fedders in-wall sleeve.  Since Friedrich is the only company making units for these sleeves, they have a monopoly that both appliance salespeople and the manufacturer take advantage of.  Sooner or later, this will change.  Until then, we're stuck with a company that causes needless problems for its customers.

Patterns of behavior

 

Some people are very predictable.  One person I know had a regularly scheduled appearance at a weekly dining meetup that was like going to church on Sundays - a place of comfort which this person did not want to see defiled by another person's presence.  This attitude caused an irreparable rift between two people that scarred one of them for little reason.

Why is this important?

I chatted with a friend last night, and noticed that this friend wanted to lecture me about my weight and my sleeping habits.  Yes, both are terrible.  I should do something about both.  But I haven't.  It's a matter of willpower - and much more.  Now, I'm starting to see several patterns of behavior that I don't like in myself and in others.

One person I know has burnt relationships without noticing her role in those relationships' failures.  Sad.  But when you don't learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it.  In my case, when pushed, I will fight - not worrying about the end result.  In my most recent case, if I backed off when an unreasonable demand was made of me, I could have been in a better place with our mutual connections.  Next time, I'll know that it is better to avoid a fight where I don't have the ground advantage.  I learn from my mistakes.

We all are creatures of habit.  For example, many of us tend to take one way to work, one way to the airport, and one way to see each of their friends or family members.  Years ago, I had a minor issue with a friend when she was directing me to Westchester County Airport.  The most direct routes would have me drive to Pleasantville or Thornwood, then cross over the hilly ridge (via one of two roads) to reach the road that would take me to the airport.  I preferred the route through Thornwood, while my friend preferred the route through Pleasantville.  She was a little upset at me at first, but then became more comfortable when I reached the road going to the airport.  Another person I know uses her cell phone in bed, then drops it as she nods off to sleep.  Habits are hard to break, and they help to make us predictable creatures.

When my last long term girlfriend broke up with me, I thought I was going to make a habit of going to the local church (where they knew me as Marian) more often. It was not because I am a devout believer.  Instead, it was the feeling of community that I wanted.  In the case of the person I referred to at the top of this entry, I guess that she is still looking for that sense of community she gave up years ago when she stopped going to her church.