Car $ervice - Ouch

 

No, I didn't have a muffler replacement today.  But it was almost as bad - I had a 30,000 mile service done on my car, and my wallet is still aching.  It could be worse (and will be soon).  The car will be needing tires soon (Original Factory Supplied Tires don't last long), as well as differential service (Subaru's All Wheel Drive makes this a legitimate expense) within the next few months.  Ouch!  There goes some of the money I received from a tax refund.  To make things more interesting, I also have some dental work coming up in a few weeks, and there goes the rest of the refund!  These are first world problems.  I have the money in the bank.  But I was hoping to keep it there.   

I was glad not to have to make it to the dealership too early.  But I hated having to switch into a male presentation for the day, only to return to presenting as a female tomorrow.  There is a good reason for the quick switcheroo - Vicki and I are going to the Flax Barn Sale in upstate New York.  We'll be away from home for a full day, and I'll be delivered right into temptation.  I don't need any more dresses in my closet.

My appointment was for 4:30, and I was out by 6:15, and $550.00 lighter.  I knew it was going to be expensive, and my wallet always cringes when I visit the shop.  At least, I deferred the big expenses to next month, when the check from the sale of the family homestead comes in.  (And then, I'll have to deal with taxes on the capital gain - another ouch!)

Sadly, there was no game night tonight.  The host family took a drive to Hershey, PA for the theme park there, and didn't think they'd make it back by 7:30.  (I'd have cancelled in their shoes, not thinking about the time - schlepping to the middle of Pennsylvania and back in a single day is exhausting.)  Hopefully, they will have taken my advice to return to New York over the Tappan Zee Bridge - who wants to fight traffic going into Manhattan on the George Washington Bridge, and pay $10.00 extra for the privilege?

Hump Day!

 

Technically, as I write this, it's not summer yet.  And yet, we've already had a couple of heat spells.  I can only imagine how I'll be feeling when the dog days of summer arrive.  I know I'll be well prepared, with an over supply of summer dresses in my closet.

- - - - - -

Today started by me waking up 4 hours early and staying awake until noon.  I had a zoom call with my niece in London, and we caught up on things.  (As usual, I had much to say, and she listened.)  After an hour, both of us had to take care of other things, and we agreed to try for another zoom in July.

Once done with my niece, I took care of little things, then decided to cook an early dinner.  This way, I could get rid of the sausage I had in the ice box, and not have to go outside and spend money that didn't need to be spent.

- - - - - -

As you can see, I didn't do much today.  Yet, I needed a small break from a busy routine.  And for a change, I didn't end up browsing clothing stores' web sites today.  I own way too many dresses, and need to radically prune my closets of clothes that no longer look good on me, and no longer interest me.  This  task will be something I handle over the summer.

Unlike many M2F transgenders, I had it easy.  My wife died 30 years ago, so I wouldn't lose that much if a potential girlfriend were to leave me because of my feminine presentation.  No one has come close to living with me, save now for RQS.  And even then, we'd have to find a place that meets both our needs.  I need a place where I can park a car for days at a time.  RQS needs a place with good mass transit.  Until we find that place, we'll live in two residences and shuttle back and forth between the two.

With the above being said, I had little to stop me from buying too large a female wardrobe (especially dresses!)  Even now, I will likely be going with Vicki to the yearly Flax Barn Sale. Garments are drastically marked down to clear them from Flax's warehouse, and it's often worth the long drive to get to the sale.  Additionally, it gives me the opportunity to spend a day with my friend Vicki.

How many dresses does a woman need?  Certainly less than I have.  But I hate wearing trouser like garments, as they end up exposing the fact that I don't have a cisgender woman's hips.  If I had a typical female body, I'd likely be wearing jeans during colder weather  It would be nice for me to have the hourglass figure of a typical female, and not the rectangular figure typical for a male.  Dresses help me hide this little problem.

- - - - - -

There's a part of me that wants to go back to work as a female.  If I see a good weekday, part time job, I'll apply for it.  But I'll have to edit down my resume to let people know that I would willingly work in a position with lower responsibilities than I once had.  It would be nice to live part of the life I could have had if I were born with the right chromosomes.  

I'd rather have been in Scranton, PA today.

 

The Union Pacific Big Boy - #4014 is a unique survivor of the scrap heap.  Instead, it was put into static display when it was retired from service, and rehabilitated for use to show of the Union Pacific railroad's heritage.  This weekend, it traveled through Pennsylvania to reach the Steamtown museum for temporary display and boiler servicing.  Yesterday and Today (as I write this) were the only two days this machine would be available for close up public inspection before it is taken in for servicing.  Sadly, I couldn't make it there today, as I had a lot on my schedule for the day.

- - - - - -

Before I got to any of the items on my docket, an old acquaintance messaged me.  Six years ago, we had a nasty falling out (I won't say more on that), and now we are able to have a good chat again.  It's a nice thing, and I hope that we'll have more of these chats in the future.  One bit of good news - her family is going well, and she has someone nice in her life.  (Again, I won't say more about this.)  Sooner or later, we will finally meet again.  Although things won't be the same as before, it will be in a better place than it once could have been. 

The first thing on my docket was lunch with SJM.  We had changed the date, and our time was limited by appointments on both of our calendars.  She discussed family affairs, and I talked about my brother finding a job, the sale of the family homestead, and the current political situation.  When I mentioned that I want to take RQS to Hawaii with me presenting as Marian, she advised against it - she is especially sensitive to what is going on with our government officials.  Next, I talked with my financial advisor.  He gave me some bad news regarding tax liabilities from the sale of the family homestead, as well as other things I'm not in the mood to mention today. 

Just before dinnertime, I had to facilitate a co-op board meeting for the purpose of interviewing an applicant. I set things up, and all went well.  Yet, I noticed something unusual - without my face on screen, people were comfortable talking over me.  This was a problem in my last project with the bank, where I had to manage a group of people remotely with no visual contact.  Without today's Zoom technology, my voice alone is ineffective for a male voice.  It's not in a timbre which commands attention.  At least, it was a pleasant meeting for all  involved..

As one can see, there was no way I could have gone to Scranton today.  But, damn, I wish I could have been there to see the Big Boy! 

 

 

Someone is getting forgetful, and it's not me.

Today, RQS had to go home after a weekend at my place, and things started off relatively normally for a Monday.  Both RQS and I would get showered and dressed, and I would drive her to the train station to go home.  And our routine followed along this path until I got home.

For the next 2 days (as I write this), the one functional "Big Boy" locomotive UP#4014 would be available for viewing at the Steamtown National Historic Site.  And then, UP#4014 could be serviced by both Steamtown and Union Pacific personnel until the end of the month, when UP#4014 would make its way to Philadelphia for America's 250th anniversary.  If I had made my plan to drive to Scranton, PA immediately after dropping RQS off at the station, RQS would not be able to communicate with her family - she had left her cell phone charging in my bedroom, and the earliest I could get it to her would be Wednesday.  If I couldn't get it to her then, it would be another 11 days before she'd have her phone in her hands.  (You can imagine what it would be like if you couldn't return phone calls for 2 weeks!)  So, I decided to drive to her place before I'd be affected by rush hour traffic jams.

It was a perfect day for me to wear a summery dress with a denim jacket - the weather was warm enough for a nice dress, but cool enough to want something to keep me warm after the sun goes down.  So, I figured that I'd get to RQS's place by 3 pm, surprise her with her phone, and then have a couple of tacos with her before driving back home.  And the dress was the most comfortable thing I could wear when walking to the taco shop.

But back to RQS's place....

I used my keys to enter her building then knocked on her door.  It was the most pleasant surprise she could have gotten.  A couple of hours later, we were eating tacos, and I was ready to drive home.  And that's where the 2nd forgotten item was left in the wrong place.  She forgot to take her keys when she want to the pottery studio.  Luckily, she has a neighbor who has broken in to her apartment (with permission) in the past, so that she could get into her apartment.

I'm glad I could have been there for her today, and that her neighbor was available to help her as well.

If we're lucky, most of our lives can be pleasantly uneventful.

 

Millions of people have gone through the Great Hall at Grand Central Terminal in New York, with nothing but another Hum-Drum day ahead of them.  For the most part, life is like a great musical work: Small events setting up the main theme, with major events being developed in the middle, with a coda to close out the work.  We start as children, become who we will be in early adult hood, repeat many of our choices through middle age, and close out our lives with the sum of our choices behind us.  Most of us have "Boring" lives, falling within the "standard deviation" of life.  Others have lives outside the "standard deviation", producing great things, but paying a great price for those accomplishments.

For many transgender people, life is never hum-drum.  As children, we often get push-back when we identify as a different gender than that assigned to us.  If we're lucky, we'll live in an area where gender therapy treatments are available, and live with parents who are comfortable with seeing that we get that therapy.  If we're unlucky, we'll live in an area that will deny us that therapy, or have parents who deny us the therapy we need.  Assuming we survive our childhood "intact" (read: without too many psychological hangups), our adulthood can be rocky as well.  It's much harder for us to learn how to act according to the opposite gender's rules when we lived our childhoods learning the rules of our assigned gender.  Couple that with (most likely) sexually dimorphic characteristic development for the gender to which we were assigned, and it can be a living hell.  Then, imagine being rejected by family and friends when one outs him/herself, and I'd never wish this experience on one's enemies.

Assuming one successfully navigates this gauntlet, one gets to live a normal life.  Or, is it normal?  Many of us stand out because our bodies are not "just tight".  For many, social prejudices haunt them through adulthood.  An example of this is our president's executive order "correcting" gender marking on passports to the gender transgender adults were assigned at birth.  There are people who hate us because we do not fit into a gender binary.  They say it's against God's will.  But is it?  To me, the ignorance of society is inexcusable.

Boredom can be a blessing for us.  If we're not under attack, we can live relatively normal lives.  This doesn't mean we'll be free of stress.  Instead, our stressors will be in the "normal" range.  And isn't that we all want?

 

RQS came up early this weekend (a short post)

Well, it's another weekend, and another visit from RQS.  It was hot again today, and it was the perfect day to wear a short dress.  But there was one wrinkle I had to deal with: I had to do some in-person banking as Mario.  So, I figured that I'd do what I best do: Schedule the errands I must do to take place at one time of the day, and my time as Marian for the other part of the day.

- - - - - -

I didn't get much sleep last night, and knew I'd need a nap later on in the day.  So, when I got up, I moved slowly for the first half of the morning, but was out to the bank for co-op business, then to another bank to do some business of my own.  I was finished with the need to present as Mario by noon, and was able to switch into Marian presentation.

Once home, I didn't rush into female mode.  Instead, I folded a basket of laundry before starting my makeup routine.  And then, I made it to the train station in time to pick RQS up.  But where was she?  What I was to find out, was that RQS was delayed due to equipment change at Grand Central.  RQS had a comfortable seat on a crowded train on one platform when the train was taken out of service.  RQS, like the rest of the passengers had to move to another train waiting on another platform that was scheduled to leave at the same time as the out of service equipment  And RQS barely made it to the train on the other platform on time.  So, RQS ended up arriving a few minutes late.

Instead of going out to eat, we went home and had a bite to eat before taking a nap.  We could have gone out again, but it was not in the cards to do so - we were in for the night, and needed some quiet time for ourselves.

A visit to the pulmonologist

 

Today was my yearly visit to my pulmonologist.  This visit had to be made in my male presentation, so I made sure to double check that I moved my driver's license to my male wallet (which I haven't used in a couple of weeks) so that I can make the drive and be safe if I got into an accident or was pulled over by the police.  

But first.....

I had a better sleep than usual last night, but was still a little bit tired.  Yet, I knew that I wasn't going to go back to sleep, as I didn't want to be in a rush when I drove over to the doctor.  So, I got showered, then (unusual for me these days) got dressed as Mario.  It was noon by the time I left the house, and I knew that I'd be starving if I waited until after the doctors visit to grab a bite to eat.  Luckily, there is a local deli nearby where I could grab a quick egg sandwich that I could eat on my way to the doctor's office.  (You can tell that I'm a typical American - most people outside the US wouldn't think of eating and driving at the same time.)

On my way, I hit a construction zone which wasted about 10 minutes of my time.  But I was still able to reach the doctor's office on time.  It was 94 degrees outside, and I got out of my car and started walking to the entryway.  The sidewalk took me past an elderly fellow having a little trouble getting his walker out of his back seat.  I made sure not to get in his way, and made it to the office on time.  20 minutes later, I was leaving the building and saw the same elderly man in front of me on the sidewalk.  In order NOT to have to wait for him to climb the short set of steps, I walked around him (going on the grass beside the sidewalk) so I could go up the stairs before him.  

- - - - - -

Once home, I relaxed for a while and then did some more laundry.  For the most part, it was a calm day, the first of 2 in which I'd be spending part of the day presenting as a male.  Tomorrow will be a visit to the bank for some co-op business which requires another day out as Mario.  At least, I'll be able to spend most of the weekend as Marian.

Today was another "Half and Half" day.

 

I had to be ready for visitors at 9:30 today, as I had to show my co-op's site manager what was wrong with many of our windows.  This isn't much, save that I had to sort through a lot of stuff I plan to toss out or give away, and neaten up the apartment as much as possible before the site manager arrived.  (My place grew out of hand during Covid, as I was dealing with the absence of both XFGJ and FCP in my life, followed by the death of my father.  So, it's a lot of mess that still needs to be cleaned up, and I needed to minimize the visual presence of Marian while she would be here.

- - - - - -

At 9:30 sharp, our site manager arrived, and I showed her the problems with our windows.  Now, I think she has a handle on what the typical problems are and what has to be done to resolve them.  However, I wonder what she thinks about after seeing my place.  

Once the site manager had left, I changed from presenting as Mario to presenting as Marian,   My niece and I had to postpone our zoom meeting until next week.  So, that gave me a little time to rest before going out for dinner.  (I needed a nap, as I didn't sleep well the night before.)  Around 4:00, I started getting ready to go out, and ended up at the diner around 5:00.  Service was sloppier than usual, as I don't think the waitress had that much experience.  But once I got the dish I wanted, I was stuffed to the gills.  (In this case, the expression "to the gills" is appropriate, as I had ordered crab meat stuffed filet of sole.)

I was tired enough to sleep when I got home, but a woman's work is never done - 2 of the 3 loads of laundry had to be done, and I made sure to take care of that before shutting down for the day. 

A visit to the dentist and a co-op board meeting

 

My day started with a series of emails.  An applicant to purchase an apartment asked if we could interview him tomorrow.  I didn't want this.  Yes, I know it was the sale of a soon to be former board member's apartment that I was willing to slow down. But I was not willing to change our schedule at the last moment.  So, we scheduled an interview-only meeting for next week, where I expect not to have any problems with the applicant.

Next on my list was checking with the foreign birth registry for my second citizenship.  They received my paperwork last August, and I should expect for it to hit a "case worker's desk" sometime next month or the month afterwards.  Hopefully, if there are no problems, I will be a dual citizen with rights in 2 countries come this fall.  (If I'm lucky, I won't have problems with a cruise I'll be taking in the near future.) 

In my calendar, my dental appointment was scheduled for 2 pm.  But the office had it scheduled for 3 pm. So, I was glad I double checked before leaving for the appointment.  With this being said, my wallet ended up a bit more empty than planned, as I now have a "membership plan" that covers 2 cleanings and gives me 15% off of all work to be done.  Considering that I will need a crown on my next visit, I'll be saving $470 in 4 weeks on a bill that would have cost me over $3,000.  The plan almost pays for itself on my next visit.

- - - - - -

All of this happened before 5 pm.  Due to the shifting of the interview to next week, the co-op meeting was shifted to start at 6 pm.  And I decided to leave my video off, so I wouldn't have to change back into masculine presentation for the meeting.  One day, I'll be totally "out".  But until then, I'll preserve my Mario identity for use with the co-op meetings.

This would be the quickest board meeting we would have in years.  Due to the applicant interview being postponed AND our business with our mortgage holding bank being mostly resolved and under control (I won't say more on that), we had little to be briefed on.  So, our meeting started on schedule, and by the end of our time with our managing agent's site representative, it was less than 90 minutes later.  (Yes, we talked about non-co-op related stuff for another half hour.  But that was social chat and not business chat and not counted as part of our meeting.)

When the meeting was over, I was tired.  But I had to do some cleanup work, as the site manager was coming to my apartment in the morning to see an example of a window problem.  So, I moved some stuff into empty storage containers, moved some dresses into the closet, and made many of the small storage containers easier to access (and later prune stuff from).

- - - - - -

It was a busy day, and I am glad to be able to get a little sleep before being awakened early.... 

 

I think I know why RQS and I click, while my brother and I don't....

 

OK - To help understand things, I care about my brother very much.  But he's not the tyoe of person I'd associate with if we weren't related.  He's impulsive, and doesn't like to explore ideas before taking action.  He gets stuck thinking inside the box, while I think from the outside in.  For example: I'd consider secretly giving nukes to Ukraine (only for use if Kyiv were to fall to Russian forces, or if Russia were to be the first to use nukes in their war), as well as doing the same for Taiwan (for use only if invaded by the mainland).  When I said this, my brother shifted and said - then what would happen if China then sent nukes to Iran?  Then shut off the exploration on the topic.  He may see danger, but he can't explore ideas which when explored might result in a realistic solution to a problem.  He is very fixed in his way of thinking, and I'd never trust him with knowing about my life as Marian.

Now that I have discussed my brother and his narrowness of thought, I can pleasantly turn to RQS.  She's a blessing, as I've said many times.  Well, the other day, she let something slip (probably as a joke) about an interest in females.  We were looking at a couple of VLoggers and I said that if I were 30 again, I wouldn't turn her out of bed - and she said something similar about the woman.  Maybe that's how she can accept me presenting as Marian.  Who knows?

There are many types of love, and some of them are very strange.  I may not have the passion I imagined having for a "next girlfriend" when I'm with RQS.  But I care for her very much.  She's a good fit for me, and I'm glad that I have the love appropriate for a senior citizen for her, instead of the short lived passion of youth.  Hopefully, we will have many good years together. 

 

A drive to the Kingston Trolley Museum

 

The official name for the Kingston Trolley Museum is the Trolley Museum of New York.  Sadly, if this is New York's main trolley museum, we are doing the history of the Trolley (and of Mass Transit) in New York State a disservice.  No, it's not because the staff/volunteers aren't doing their best.  Instead, it's because they have a lot of "Dead" rolling stock in their yard, all waiting for proper restoration.  And that takes money, equipment and labor - all in short supply.

- - - - - -

RQS and I decided to drive up to the museum, as we wanted to get out of the house and do some sight seeing in the Hudson Valley.  So, we decided to dress for the weather (both of us in comfortable dresses) and make the 90 minute drive to Kingston.  Arriving at the museum at 2 pm, the place was devoid of life, save for the one volunteer explaining to 2 visitors how a NYC Subway control panel worked, and how the system prevented two trains from colliding into each other.  We were ignored while we walked around the exhibits and then into the area where they were restoring trolley cars.  Would we have paid $8 each for the visit?  No.  There wasn't that much to see, and we were glad that no one bothered to collect an admission fee.

After the museum, we drove home, and stopped for a late lunch at Panera.  By the time we were done, neither of us expected to be hungry until later - and unbeknownst to us, that would last most of the evening.  When we arrived home, we made ourselves comfortable and decided to take a nap.  Bu the time we woke up, a thunderstorm had passed through the region, and neither of us wanted the dinner we had planned on earlier in the day. 

- - - - - -

Hopefully, I'll soon get RQS out to Scranton, PA, where we can visit Steamtown, and a "Real" trolley museum next door.... 

As you read this, it'll be a week later....

 

Normally, the United States would have celebrated Flag Day on June 14th.  This year, the Orange Monster is turning what should have been a celebration of America's 250th birthday into an unmitigated disaster.

- - - - - -

As I write this, there is a UFC Octagon being erected on the White House lawn, where only service members meeting our "Secretary of War's" idea of what a soldier should look like would be admitted to the matches.  One of my Facebook friends is appalled at this (as so am I), because it cheapens the image of what the White House (and its property) should look like.  (She also hates MMA, but that's a different story.)  The MMA Octagon on the lawn signals "TACKY" in the extreme, and the selection of image over function shows how far down the ladder of a people deserving respect we have become.

I don't care who will win or lose these matches.  But I am glad that even some MMA fighters are distancing themselves from these matches, as they feel that their sport shouldn't be used to satisfy the ego of the Orange Monster.  We've already seen America's 250th birthday bash lose virtually all of its musical performers, and being turned into an Orange Monster pep rally for his MAGA hordes, many of whom are deserting him.  This can't happen soon enough!

- - - - - -

Sadly, what should have been a year for Americans to celebrate with pride has become something which many of us are ashamed of.  Hopefully, by our 253rd birthday, we'll have something we can be proud of again.

Cleaning out some of the mess

 

To start, the above is NOT my living room.  This is the way Ex-GF-M had her living room when I was last there over 15 years ago.  My apartment may be a cluttered mess, but it never got as bad as her mess.  When I met her, she had a small den which was so crammed with stuff that she couldn't enter the room. This is not meant to say that my place is devoid of clutter.  Instead, it is a reminder how much worse my life could have been had I stayed with my ex. 

 

Today, I took about an hour to get rid of some of the clutter in my place before showering and dressing to go out and pick up RQS.  She is keenly aware that I am a clutter bug, but she tolerates it to have me in her life.  Yes, there are some shoe boxes I might wish I had kept.  But, I plan to be tossing out more than I bring in to my space over time.  And that will allow me to gradually clear out the clutter in my place.

 

Things got really bad for me when Covid hit. as I no longer had the need to straighten up the place for the cleaning lady to do her magic.  I hope to get to the stage where I can have another trustworthy cleaning person come in again on a regular basis.  Until then, I have to gradually work at pruning the stuff in my space, so that I can again have a place in which I feel comfortable inviting guests..

 

Recently, I looked behind my loveseat and found that I have at least 2 more storage containers filled with summer clothes.  It's almost impossible for me to get rid of a nice dress.  But, if I can lose some weight, I'll have the incentive to do so - if only to replace much of which is in my wardrobe.  That will be a fun, but expensive experience, as I may finally have shrunk to a size where I can walk into a typical women's department and find pretty clothes I want to wear.

 

Until then, I'll be dealing with the clutter in my apartment and in my closet.... 

Lunch with Vicki

 

Often, Vicki and I will choose either Japanese or Greek restaurants for our periodic lunches.  Today, I had trouble confirming lunch with her, as she was already in an exercise class.  But once we confirmed our get together, I rushed to get showered and dressed to meet her at 12:30.

Today's lunch was at the local Japanese restaurant.  Given that Vicki had a minor GI-Tract issue recently, she decided to pass on the sushi we usually have and instead went for the hibachi steak.  Since I've had that dish before, I decided to try the scallops for something easier to digest.  And then, we got to discussing more serious matters such as my relationship with RQS, my former relationship with XGFJ, and my former friendship with FCP.  She talked about her family issues and where she might live if her husband were to pass away first.  (Hopefully, that won't happen for a long time.)

Once finished with lunch, I drove to Kohl's to pick up a dress I had on order.  Now that I knew the routine, I knew the process of locating my item.  One problem, my pickup location was on the main aisle, and not in the smaller aisles to the side.  This was a minor issue, and I drove home to rest for a while.

- - - - - -

Around 6:30, I put my dress back on, and was off to a Red Sauce joint for dinner before proceeding to Walmart to look for some undies (actually bike shorts to avoid chafing).  Unlike my last visit to Walmart, I encountered no females looking to chat.  Instead, I had to rush to the lavatory for an emergency bio-break.  AARGH!  At least, Walmart's stalls were clean and safe. I mention a bio-break, simply because I no longer worry about going to the women's room - I'm confident enough in my gender presentation to be accepted as a female in most places around where I live.

On my way home, I called RQS to catch up on the day's events.  It was a nice day out presenting as female, and I will be doing so tomorrow as I pick RQS up from the station.

A long, rambling chat with my brother (and a conversation missed).

 

After a day in which I did almost nothing, I decided to continue a long this path and order dinner from a local "Red Sauce" joint and have it delivered to my door.  As expected, the portion size was so large, that after a small salad and some soup, there was no way I could finish the main course.  So now, I have lunch or dinner for tomorrow or over-morrow (the day after tomorrow).  

Just after I finished my meal, my brother called to tell me that he finally landed a job.  It's not what he would have liked, but what he needed.  What do I mean by this?  Well, the position pays a little less than the last position he held. It is also with a firm which was almost killed by the Covid-19 pandemic.  (No, I will not say more about the nature and details of the firm's business, so that my words cannot harm it.) The conversation shifted to several things, such as the sale of the family homestead, a potential visit to my cousin (once removed) on the weekend that RQS is visiting her cousin, my brother's second citizenship paperwork (something which might be of interest to my cousin (she has automatic citizenship, as her dad was born in the same country as my grandmother), and both my niece and nephew.  It was a rambling chat that took over 2 hours.

During this chat, TCL called.  I was glad not to be able to answer her.  Her latest issue is an acquaintance who has a nasty habit of cancelling appointments at the last moment.  In a local message board, someone posted a similar problem with a friend, and TCL responded to the post.  Unfortunately, TCL's acquaintance saw TCL's response and asked TCL: "Were you talking about me?"  Well, I told TCL that this acquaintance knows what she does and doesn't care about how it affects her "friends".  TCL worries about how she should respond to this, and I advise her that she should focus on her needs, and not this woman's feelings.  So, I was lucky to be on a call with my brother when TCL called, as I didn't have the energy to rehash this issue with TCL once more.

Did I have the energy for either of these chats?  Not really.  But the chat with my brother was tiresome only because I needed to rest for a bit.  With TCL, it would have been emotionally tiring as well,  as I could not be a passive listener.  At least, I had some energy left for my nightly chat with RQS.

I didn't go out today.

 

I'd have loved to have Julia Child cook for me while she was alive.  Sadly, she's been gone for many years, but she left us with a cookbook with the essentials of French Cooking.  When I was young, I was a reverse snob, thinking that French Food was needlessly pretentious.  But that's simply because of cultural influences defined by many of New York's (and America's) early restaurants - French food was a sign of high culture.  I had yet to see French food as "Vittles" or "Grub" that the average French person might eat. Luckily, the more I got to know about the world, I learned that she was not as pretentious as my impressions of French Cuisine were.

Living in New York, I find it hard to see Italian food as anything but "Stick to your Ribs" food - there are way too many good inexpensive "Red Sauce" joints in the New York City area that allow me to think of Italian food (even its' American bastardization) as anything but everyday cooking.  So, when I go on cruise ships, I tend to avoid the ships' Italian restaurants for good reason - I don't want to be disappointed by a specialty meal which is not so special   In fact, the one time RQS and I ate at NCL's Italian restaurant, La Cucina, it was one of the worst meals I ever had on a cruise ship.  Yet, Princess's Italian restaurant, Sabbatini's had some of the best Italian food I ever had on a cruise ship, well worth the premium it would cost to dine here.  (I shouldn't leave out main dining room selections from MSC, where their Italian selections are always good.)

Tonight, I got dressed for only one reason - I placed an order for delivery from one of the Red Sauce joints near me.  This place is predictable and good.  But it has absolutely no atmosphere.  It's a place where one can order a slice of pizza to stay, eating in a marginally comfortable booth, or have a pizza made for takeaway. This is my one indulgence for the day, as I don't want to cook anything tonight.

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I mentioned that my friend Maria had medical issues.  Today, she had a CT scan, and will have the results next week.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her. 

I saw the doctor today, and....

 

I realize that doctors' visits aren't always good news.  But the more I see my doctor, the more I feel that he doesn't pay that much attention to things anymore.  It's as if he's preparing to wind down his practice, and he may not be as committed to serving his patients' needs as he once was.

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This month, my doctor visit was scheduled for the afternoon.  This way, I knew that if I had to drive back from RQS's place, that I'd have enough time to make it back home, change, then drive to the doctor's office.  However, I ended up coming home on Sunday, so I could have scheduled Monday's appointment for any time during the day.

What first surprised me today was my weight - I had lost 10 pounds since my last visit.  Only God knows why this happened.  I haven't been trying to watch what I eat as much as I've avoided stuffing myself to the gills.  (It scares me a little, as my wife couldn't explain her weight loss until she was diagnosed with terminal uterine cancer.  I want explanations, and I have none yet.)  

There is a US Government test program for Medicare involving GLP-1 Drug subsidies.  I'm not sure if I want to participate, as I'm not sure if my Part-D plan (Drug coverage) will cover GLP-1 drugs when the program ends.  Yet, to lose weight in a healthy way, it might be worth taking a chance on the program.  But first, my doctor has to apply in my behalf, and he hasn't lifted a finger yet.

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After my doctor's visit, all I did was to take care of laundry before going to sleep.  Tomorrow's lunch with Maria has been cancelled due to a medical issue.  So I'm not sure of what I'll do.  As Scarlet once said: "Tomorrow is another day."

I had to go home today - and I would have delayed this one day

 

My car was parked in a Monday/Thursday No Parking spot, so I had to go home.  Actually, it was because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, and my parking spot was a reminder that I couldn't postpone things this week.

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RQS and I spent Saturday by taking the subway into Manhattan and seeing the movie Pressure.  It's a movie about the Meteorologist who was tasked with the responsibility of  predicting the weather for D-Day in an age where computers had yet to be developed.  (I won't include the primitive computer being used at Bletchley Park to decode German Enigma messages, as this was top secret and known only to Churchill and a very small staff.)  I'm grateful that there were people like the British Meteorologist  on our side, as I would have hated to see a world where the Nazis won WW2.

After the movie, we were about to walk to Katz's deli when we saw a Chinese restaurant a block away from the subway station. I suggested going here, even though my knees would be killing me if we used the Essex street station to go home.  (It is not "accessible", and has a lot of stairs that need to be used to reach the platforms from which to board the trains.)  Both of us ordered pork dishes, and I think my dish of shredded pork with little buns was something I'd order again at this place.  RQS noted that a movie night and dinner would now cost over $100, and she'd be right.  When you factor in $40 for Manhattan movie theater tickets and $80+ for a meal nearby, it starts to get pricey. 

While taking the subway to/from the theater, we did some people watching .  Both of us noticed a young woman wearing a skirt so short that it barely would keep her modest standing on the subway platform.  I noticed while climbing the stirs that she was wearing a thong.  (Leave it to my gender preference to notice such things.)  There were other women we noticed, such as another young woman wearing lace trousers.  (I wondered how she could stay comfortable given the chilly weather earlier in the day.)  

When we made it back to RQS's place, off came the dress and on went the night shirt.  It was time to get comfy and relax for the evening.

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Sunday morning came, and neither of us really wanted to get up.  However, both of us moved into the living room before 10:30 (early for us on weekends) and took care of a little chore - slicing up cardboard boxes, so that the paper content can be recycled.  RQS was a little surprised at how I did things, but she liked the results.  So, once I got showered and dressed, we took the remaining bags of cardboard downstairs for recycling and it was off to my car to get a 12-pack of soda for RQS.  I then drover her back to her house, and was off on the road home.

Normally, going home from RQS's place is predictable.  But traffic jams in Queens leading to the Whitestone bridge forced me to take local roads to the Throggs Neck bridge.  And even then, I knew that I'd have to take a roundabout way home to avoid Summer Weekend Sunday traffic.  Instead of the 2 hours I usually need to get home, it took almost 2 1/2 hours to get to a nearby supermarket to get food for the week. I finally made it home around 7:30, and I was glad to strip off my dress, my makeup, and my bra (not in that order) and finally relax for the evening.

Tomorrow, it's off to the doctor - I wonder how he'll hector me about my weight this time.... 

Going to RQS's place for the weekend (a short post)

 

When I started to see RQS, I made sure to present as Mario whenever I went to her place.  Her neighbors might see a balding, overly large, old fellow visiting RQS on a regular basis.  Over time, things have evolved that I rarely present as Mario, except when Mario needs to be seen for appearances' sake.  And I am happy with where things are, as I could never have believed things would be this good for me.

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Today, I had only one thing on the agenda - driving down to RQS's place.  Not being sure of the weather for the weekend, I packed clothes that would keep me comfortable in 50 degree weather, as well as in 80 degree weather.  Whether or not this would be needed would depend on whether the weather forecast was for warm weather or for cooler weather.  But enough about the weather for now....

I started off to RQS's place around 1:30, and realized that I might need to take a bio-break before reaching my destination.  (Several times, I have needed a break as I reached RQS's neighborhood, and was lucky that I could find a clean loo before looking for a "rare" parking spot near her house.)  This was a smart thing to do, as I hit a bit of traffic once I reached Queens.  

Arriving at 4 (as I planned), RQS was waiting for me, and we had an early night - dinner was ready by 5:30 (a rarity for us), and we were in bed relatively early for the night.   This was going to be a weekend send as Marian, and I was prepared for Saturday and Sunday to come.

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It's amazing how normal life can become over time.  But then, I'm glad that I don't live in the American South.  In New York, my Texas friends as Marian, but can't do so because of the laws enacted there in the past few years.  I am mostly "Out" where I live, but would need to be "Closeted" if I lived in Texas.  (I wonder what Kim of Traveling Transgender, a mostly defunct blog, is doing now.  Years ago, she traveled "Pretty" between major American cities.  Now, I hope she's able to get out and about as Kim now and then.)

My brother finally has his second citizenship.

 

The other day, I received an email telling my brother that he is finally registered in the foreign birth registry.  That means that once he has his second passport, he will be able to travel across the Atlantic to see his daughter without any other paperwork than his passports.  As for me, I will still need my UK ETA for this summer's cruise.  But I hope I will have my second citizenship and passport before my Iceland cruise in 2027.  Otherwise, I will need both a new UK ETA and an EU ETAIS, as I will have a new US passport issued next year.

In this day and age, it makes sense to have a way to leave the US.  I love America.  But with a senile, misogynist, racist, and incompetent authoritarian trying to destroy my country, I want my "Letters of Transit", so that RQS and I can leave for a new homeland if needed.  All too many people have forgotten the lessons of the past.  And I don't want to be a victim if the crud hits the fan.

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I'm glad that my brother and I are lucky enough to inherit another nation's citizenship through my grandmother.  There are way too many people in this country at risk with no way to exit. For transgenders, its a risk than many are avoiding by leaving the US while they still can.  In an article in Der Spiegel, the trials and tribulations of Americans leaving their homeland for Germany are discussed.  It's ironic that any descendant of a German Jew who escaped or survived the Holocaust is now welcomed by Germany.  (They have much more common sense than us in America.)

I figure that I might use a two-step process to leave the US if needed.  First, I'd get myself across the border, but close enough to take care of my remaining business in the US.  Once my bank accounts are emptied and the money moved overseas, I'd then leave North America for my new home.  (Money moved before arrival in the new country is not taxed.  Money moved after residing in the new country is taxed.)

As I say again and again - ALL Transgenders must have an exit plan ready while the Orange Monster is in control of government.  Get that passport now, as well as a second citizenship if eligible for one.  It's much better to be prepared for the worst, than to have no idea of what to do if it happens.