Lunch with RO, and Game Night in Yonkers

 

As I write this, it's almost midnight and I haven't the energy to say much about today.  And yet, in spite of the little things, it was a successful day.

Let me begin here....

I didn't get a restful sleep last night, but managed to sleep an interrupted 6 hours.  That doesn't sound like much for many people, but when one wakes up twice in the middle of the night for bio-breaks, it's more like having 4-5 hours of sleep.  When the alarm clock rang at 10 am, I knew I had to get up and get ready to see RO in New Jersey.

So, I got showered and dressed, and when I was about to leave the house - the first problem of the day occurred.  I had tossed a pillow on the couch, and it fell in back of it.  Stupid me...  I decided to try and retrieve it, wasting 15 minutes of time I could have spent on the road to meet RO.  After tearing apart everything on one side of the couch to reach the pillow, I was able to retrieve it - and made the mistake of tossing the "grabber" in a way that it too had fallen behind the couch.  Retrieving the grabber would have to wait until I got home.

It took me a little over 1 hour & 15 minutes to get to the restaurant, and I was only 5 minutes late.  RO and I chatted and caught up on things. Although she is not political, she worries about her trans nephew in this political climate.  RO was glad to hear about my brother gaining his second citizenship, and was glad that my paperwork is well on its way to being processed.  All too soon, it was time to go, and we agreed to try and meet sometime in early July.

I drove a little under 1½ hours to get home, using a different route than I used to meet RO., then passed out for a couple of hours once I hit the couch.  (BTW, it only took me 5 minutes to fetch the grabber.)  Around 6, I realized that it was game night.  So, I changed into something a little warmer than what I wore to lunch and drove to Yonkers.  Believe it or not, I won 1 of the 2 games tonight.  Yay!

All in all, it was a good day, but not a perfect day.  But who needs perfection when things are in your favor? 

 

I was looking for something to wear under my dresses to prevent chafing....

 

Given that I am a fat T-Gal, I am always looking for a second set of undies which I can wear over my base layer and do two things: Keep my thighs from chafing, and help keep my front as flat as possible while remaining comfortable. And that's where today's story begins....

- - - - - -

I had three things on the docket for today: 

• Reviewing financial status with an advisor
• Lunch with CCS
• Retail therapy.   

The first item took a bit longer than expected.  But the advisor said that I am in excellent financial shape for my age, and will help fine tune things to meet my short and long term goals.  I'll develop a few questions for him, and schedule a further review in a few weeks.

Next was lunch with CCS.  We went to the same place we went to last month, and talked for almost 2 hours.  Towards the end, I mentioned an interest in seeing Dion, and she was interested as well.  So, hopefully, she'll be able to score extra tickets for us at one of the Connecticut casinos.

And finally came shopping in the intimates department.  I always have problems finding my size on the racks at Walmart.  Officially, my hips are narrow enough that I can wear a size 3x undergarment.  It's my chest that forces me to buy a size 28 dress.  While rummaging through the racks, a lady starts up a conversation about looking for undies.  She expects her shape wear to perform miracles for her - stuffing a watermelon through a sausage casing, expecting to hide her belly.  This is not going to happen.  But she assumed I was a cisgender female, and we talked about shape wear and the need to relieve one's self.  I mentioned that I will wear all-in ones/body suits if I need to fit into something, and then we shifted to getting the garment out of the way for a bio break.  (I hate the 3 hook mechanism in the crotch of these garments, but she would have a problem reaching this area based on her fat distribution.)  

It's nice when one cisgender female assumes that I am one of the same, and we can talk about female issues with ease.  Once women know I am TG, they always censor themselves on some topics. So not being seen as Trans is an asset for me. 

 

 

If it weren't for the Jewish Holidays, I might have gotten free tickets.

 

Does anyone recognize who this performer is?  I'll give you a clue - he could have been on the plane with Buddy Holley, but (as I understand it) he didn't have the money to afford to fly to the tour's next stop.  For this, I think the world is very lucky, as this man, in his 80's, is still making great music.  No, he's not making hits anymore.  But he is performing with some of the best musicians in the business.

Dion DiMucci is best known for his work in the 50's, 60's and 70's.  Yet, I think some of his later work is even better than the music he is best known for.  I love one of the songs he did with Paul Simon (Written on the Subway Wall / Little Star), where Simon sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the middle of Dion's song.  It's a wonderful piece, and his later tunes such as Dancing Girl (w. Mark Knopfler) are as good or better than much of his early work.

I told my friend about Dion's scheduled performance in September, and it fell on the Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah.  As a result, RQS and will not be able to scarf up a pair of free tickets.  Instead, we will likely buy a pair of tickets to a performance closer to home.  This is just as well, as I have the excuse to ask RQS to come here a day earlier than usual.

This might be one of the last chances to see Dion perform live.  So I'm going, whether or not RQS decided to come with me.  Now, if only John Fogerty would be performing at a venue and on a date convenient to us.  I'm still hoping for one last chance to see Chubby Checker perform, but given his age, we can only have pleasant memories of doing the twist like we did last summer....

Caesar Salad Dressing and Transgenders

 

Sometimes, a T-Gal has got to eat.  And for me, tonight was the time to make fresh Caesar Salad dressing and toss it with some fresh Romaine Lettuce.

To Start:

1. In a medium bowl, whisk anchovies, egg yolks, garlic, mustard, and lemon juice. While whisking, slowly stream in oil until dressing is thick and creamy. (This can also be done with an immersion blender or in a small food processor.)
    
2. Stir in Parmesan and black pepper; season with salt.

You may ask with something this simple, what did I do wrong?  Since my mother never taught me to cook (Remember, I was a boy to her, and thankfully never learned her bad cooking style), I've had to gradually learn how to do simple things on my own.  This is not a bad thing, as I get pleasantly excited when something I do comes out right.  In this case, I didn't slowly stream in the oil.  That's something I'll do next time I prepare this dish.

- - - - - -

Why do I mention food preparation in a blog that discusses a transgender life?  Well, most TG women have to learn ALL the skills normally acquired by cisgender females in a fraction of the time.  Even when others are tolerant of our mistakes, we can make big ones and be totally embarrassed by them if we give things much thought.  We learn by doing, and we must be more observant than the average person, so that we can blend in well.

There is a big confidence factor in blending in.  One must feel that s/he is the gender in which s/he is presenting.  Each time I am pegged as a male, I ask myself - where did I slip up?  Did I slip up at all, and that being perceived as TG was the only thing possible for the other person?  So many questions, and so much to learn.

Like cooking, transgender presentation as a female (or as a male for F2M TGs) takes work.  F2M transgenders have an easier time in appearing male than M2F transgenders have in appearing female.  Cisgender males are taller than cisgender females, have more body mass, and other features that are easy to notice if you are looking for them.  Yet, for most of us, it is possible with a bit of work.  So, keep it up - you'll get where you want to be if you don't give up. 

 

 

PS: I forgot the Anchovies the next time I made the dressing.... 

 

The end of a long weekend (a short post)

 

Over the weekend, my brother got word that he is finally on a nation's foreign birth registry.  He is now a citizen of a European Country.  My paperwork is several months behind his, and I will check in with the foreign birth registrar when my application hits the one year mark from submission.  I would have liked to have also been eligible for the St. Kitts passport above.  But this is not the case anymore.

- - - - - -

This weekend, the rain has kept us inside most of the time.  Although we got outside for some food shopping on Sunday, I didn't bother going to church - it was way too wet outside.  By the time we left the house, only the supermarkets were open for business.  At least, I was able to get into a pretty dress for this short trip.

Memorial day was something else.  The sun was out, and we relaxed until mid afternoon.  Again, the weather was warm, and I wore one of my summer dresses. Did I need to go through the headaches of preparing myself for a female presentation today?  No.  But I enjoyed doing so.  Soon, I'll be stuck in presenting as Mario for a doctor's appointment.  But once I'm done, I intend to get my nails done for the first time in a long while.

- - - - - -

I'm surprised at how sensitive a person can be.  When I compared Christian sects proselyting to recruit new followers with someone's complaint about Islam and hijabs, I didn't expect a tempest in a teapot.  This person believes that Islam is out to exterminate Christianity.  If the only nations who practiced Islam were Saudi Arabia and Iran, then she may have a case, given that the closer to Mecca one is, the more extreme a form of Islam is encountered.  Travel far away from the middle east, and people are much more relaxed about the faiths of their neighbors.  This doesn't mean that jihad doesn't exist.  But there are several types mentioned in Islamic scripture and not all are violent.

Given that this woman has soured on Trump, there may be hope for her yet.  But I doubt it.  She gets her news from right wing outlets, and she calls Democratic politicians by insulting names - something I don't do, even in regard to politicians I hate, such as Ted Cruz and Lindsay Graham.  There is a lack of respect for others in her attitude, and it is related to the tribe in which she identifies.

In 2029, I expect to see America rebuke the GOP much more than it will this November.  Investigations and trials will be on the agenda, and I expect that we'll see constitutional amendments come out of the process.  MAGA will become a chronic political disease instead of a near fatal one.  Or, at least I hope this becomes true. 

As I write this.... (a short post)

 

As I write this, I've been thinking of people I have known, wondering what they would think if they were around to see me now.  Most of my friends, family and acquaintances likely had no idea I am a TG. But I can say that for most of my life I wouldn't have thought so either.

My wife may have thought that this was a harmless little kink, as long as I didn't go outside while in women's clothing.  I wonder what she'd think now, as I maximize the time I present as a female and minimize the amount of time I present as a male.  The one time she objected to me wearing women's clothing was on our wedding night.  I think she wanted to be sure of her role in our relationship.

Before my wife and I got married, I kept a promise to my late friend Carol.  I feel that Carol may have been a lonely person, as I don't remember her talking about her friends.  She was the stepmother of a woman I once dated, and I am grateful that this woman and I never hit it off.  Carol opened a letter I addressed to the stepdaughter, and we ended up in contact with each other, building up a friendship that lasted until Carol died.  So, when I kept my promise, I brought my (then) future wife with me to Carol's grave for an introduction.

Bill was my best friend through college, and was the best man at my wedding.  I never felt comfortable talking with him about this side of me, and now there is no chance to do so.  Recently, his email address was disconnected (his private domain expired with no renewal), and he hasn't responded to any texts sent to him.  Given that he survived a brain aneurysm  a few years ago, I wouldn't doubt that another similar issue caused him to be totally disabled or have killed him.

Prior to meeting XGFJ, I had dated two women named Linda. One accepted the fact that I enjoyed wearing women's clothes, but there was no chemistry between us.  (It didn't help that I didn't have a CPAP unit yet, and was very noisy when sleeping.)  Would she have accepted seeing me dressed?  I'm not sure.  But I know that the other Linda would not have been able to accept this.  She was looking for someone more successful and more traditional in nature.

Strangely enough, I think that my mom would have been accepting of me as Marian.  But that's because I think she always wanted a daughter.  My father on the other hand would have had trouble doing so.  During the last few years of his life he was resistant to change, and even had a Trump sticker on his car's bumper.

Enough of thoughts of people from my past.  I'm living in the now, and visit my past sparingly while looking forward to the future.

Often, a mundane life can be boring

 

One thing I have noticed over the past few weeks is that when things are calm and I am living a mundane life, people can find me boring.  Isn't this what most trans people want for their lives?  Excitement and challenges are good and necessary.  But, being calm and relaxed is important too.  Balance is essential for a healthy life.

- - - - - -

When I switched to writing this blog, I lost 2/3's of my readership.  I attribute this loss to not including stories about the life of my former cruise partner and the "Sturm und Drang" in her life.  Yet, that's a good thing.  After undergoing painful feelings of loss and grief, I came out a better person in the end.  I hope she came out better as well.

In the beginning, life for a transgender person can be scary.  First, we have to experiment with being partially out.  Questions like "what will people think?" and "what can happen to me?" come to mind.  We fear our unknowns, and we are often paralyzed by our fears.  Gradually, we start tiptoeing outside and getting used to being seen.  We know our appearance is far from perfect, but we're experimenting with our new social identities.  At this time, we usually work towards having the skills to blend in and not be noticed (at first) as being transgender people.  We are learning who we are and who we want to be by being out in the world.  Yet, our identities are not yet fixed yet.

After a while, we develop confidence in our "new" selves.  We have learned the unwritten language of our authentic gender, and people know us as our authentic identity.  Some of us move forward to medical transition, others stay with legal and social transition, and the rest remain comfortable in gender roles that provide enough flexibility to present as their authentic selves.

- - - - - -

So, do I lead a boring life?  In some ways, yes.  In others, no.  One of my friends says I have the best of both worlds.  But I'm not sure of that.  I can never grow close to my children as a cisgender woman can.  Nor can I take advantage of male privilege in ways I find alien to me.  It's as if I am an immigrant in a new world.  Familiar, yes.  And yet, a little bit strange.  But I wouldn't change things for the world.

We're booking another cruise.

 

I'll give my readers one clue to where we'll be cruising next year: It's a land with virtually no military at all, but it is a valuable member of NATO.

- - - - - -

Recently, I saw a good price on a Northern European cruise which would maximize our time in Iceland. Although we'd only have one day in Reykjavik, at least we'd have more than one port stop in the Land of Fire and Ice. It is on a cruise line that I haven't taken for almost three decades, Holland America. The deal we're getting isn't as good as we'd normally get on Princess. But it goes where we want it to go. And that's the important thing.

There are details that still have to be worked out. One of those things is airplane reservations. We can't do that for several months. That gives us time to pay down our balance on this cruise. As long as we have everything paid off before the final payment date, we should be OK. Unlike our previous pre-cruise trip to London, we have no relatives or friends who live on the European mainland. So, we'll be on our own in Europe (outside of the cruise itself) for the first time.

I never realized how quickly RQS would warm up to the idea of taking this trip. Maybe she's also looking at doing at least one "Bucket List" trip per year. Hopefully, we'll be able to do a Hawaii, a Panama Canal, and another Alaska cruise before our health starts to fail due to old age.

Yet, I'm rambling on. We still have one cruise left to take this year, and I might find a way to take another trip if I have the money to pay for it. For now, it's time for me to live in the present, and not in the future or past.

We're having a heat wave....

 

The thermometer broke 90° today, and I was lucky enough to have been able to stay inside.  I feel sorry for the people who had to sweat it out on the NYC Subway today, as I was once one of those commuters.

- - - - - -

There wasn't much on the docket for today.  Yet, I got things done from inside the house.  First on the docket was a phone call with Vicki's financial advisor - and we got along well.  (I'm glad that this wasn't a zoom meeting, as I didn't want any trace of Marian to show up in the video feed.)  He will work up a first draft of a financial plan for me, and then I can review it.

Next was a phone call with the co-op president.  We discussed changes needed for the recent meeting minutes and for the quarterly newsletter.  I would have liked more time.  But my next appointment was at 8:00, and I didn't want to be late for my zoom meeting with our Texas friends.  I opened up the zoom, and it was a shorter meeting than usual - none of us that had much to say.

Following the Zoom, I chatted with TCL for a while, and then called RQS to discuss our events of the day.  There was a 2027 Icelandic cruise that I was interested in, so I forwarded a request to our travel agent for pricing information.  If the numbers are right, I will put a down payment on the cruise.  

Finally, I got back to the editing of our meeting minutes and our newsletter.  By midnight, I was done and ready to sleep.  Tomorrow, it will be both wet (rain) and hot - AARGH!  There is no chance that I will go down to NYC to see a pay as I planned for this week. I will be staying cool and comfortable on Wednesday, and RQS will be coming up on Thursday.

90° and getting even warmer!

 

It's several days before Memorial Day as I write this entry, and the thermometer already has broken the 90° mark.  Ouch!  What made things worse is that RQS had to go home and suffer with the heat on the NYC Subway.  AARGH!!

Neither of us wanted to get up this morning, but RQS had to make a 11:42 train.  So we both got dressed in loose fitting garments, and I drove her to the station.  Once I dropped her off, it was time for me to pick up some breakfast before going home.  And then I took a nap, as I woke up at "god awful o'clock" and couldn't get back to sleep.

Around 5:00, I awoke from my nap and started to sort out laundry to go in the wash.  This wasn't much to do, but I wanted to balance out the loads so that I wouldn't have missing socks or undies between washes.  As it is, I have a bag filled with single socks that needs to be inspected for matches found from singlets I've deposited in the bag over several months.

Now that the sorting was done, I decided NOT to do the laundry due to the heat outside.  Instead, I decided to stay in for the night and stripped off my makeup.  And then, I paid my bills. For the most part, it was a boring day - which most life experiences should be for trans folk.  If we can go about our business without people hassling us, I consider that day to be a win.

- - - - - -

You might ask, why do I often focus on the mundane parts of my life?  Well, I consider it a responsibility for trans folk to look at how normal life can (and should) be for us and document our normalcy for others.  Only then can we have a benchmark for when things go sour.... 

 

 

A visit to the Danbury Railway Museum

 

The weather forecast for the day was for a bit of humidity and for 90° (or more) thermometer readings.  Ouch!  And yet, RQS and I figured that we'd venture out to the museum and see what they had to offer.

But first....

We woke up to an alarm  that didn't want to stop.  Both of us were shouting at our "Smart" (?) device to stop, and it took 5 minutes to do so. After this, neither of us were in the mood to go to church as we had originally planned. So we chilled until 11 am, and then prepared to go out.

Both of us decided to get dressed in blue dresses today, and drive over to the museum.  We left my apartment around 12:30, and reached the museum shortly before 2:00.  Neither of us were really prepared  for the heat outside.  We had to air out the car a little before getting inside the car.  Thankfully, the AC worked at full speed, and we had a comfortable ride.

There were many artifacts in the museum building, including a couple of miniature railroad exhibits.  Yet, if it were only the model railroad stuff, it would not have been worth the visit.  Instead, there were other artifacts from the golden age of railroading that were worth looking at.    

But the real value of this museum came from the short ride through the rail yard, followed by a tour of the museum's rolling stock.

Our tour guide told us about the history of each of their pieces of rolling stock, as well as the history of the yard in which the museum's rolling stock is stored.  We also got a chance to take a ride on the yard's turntable.  (You'll note that there is a woman in a blue dress in 2 of these pictures.  That's as much of RQS as I want to show my readers for privacy's sake.)  The last stop of the day was the rail car in the last photo.  This was a treat, as it was an early example of a rail car used on the 20th Century Limited, the New York Central railroad's flagship train which ran from NYC to Chicago and back.

A little bit before 4:00, we left for home.  On our way back, we stopped at a local Chinese restaurant for dinner.  Neither of us realized how drained we were from the heat outside, so when we got home, we passed out for a couple of hours before regaining consciousness.

Almost Matching Dresses

 

Both RQS and I set alarms for us to get out of bed, get dressed, and go to the Danbury Railway Museum. However, one thing got in the way - the 10:30 alarm I thought I had set didn't go off, and RQS didn't get out of bed until 11:30.  By the time got moving, it was too late to go to Danbury, as the museum closes at 4:00.  So we watched some videos, and relaxed most of the day.

Once we decided to get moving, RQS decided to wear a red floral dress.  I figured that I'd join in on the same theme and wear the red floral dress I bought from Amazon last week.  Given the 80 degree weather outside, this would be a perfect choice for me - and it was.  To be safe, I brought my denim jacket (which I didn't need), but who knew how quickly it might get cool after dark.

Our first stop was at Pepe's Pizza in Yonkers.  Both of us were hungry, and we hadn't had their pizza in a while.  It was nice to be addressed as a female by the staff, and no one took notice of my less than feminine features.  (Having worked on my voice and my presentation over the past decade and a half helps me blend in as female when I need to do so - especially when I have to go to the loo.)  After we finished our meal, it was off to Lidl for some shopping.  And today, I got off almost as well as I would have done at Trader Joe's.  But then, I wasn't planning on buying much.

Going home as the sun was getting ready to set, I took an alternate route back to my house in order to avoid the harsh setting sun burning my eyes.  Taking the "scenic route" back home, I was able to take a path where my eyes were protected from direct sunlight. 

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, we're planning on going to church and then to the railway museum.  I hope we get to both.

The start of a weekend with RQS

 

It would be the last cool day for a while, and yet, I wanted to wear one of my summery dresses.  But first, I had to get things in order for RQS to spend the weekend.  So, I got most of the clutter off of the chest at the foot of the bed (there's much more to do in the bedroom), and started finding homes for the clothing that was dumped there.  Additionally, I finally found the time to put folded laundry into my dressers and closets, as well as taking several bags of trash out to the dumpster.

I was expecting to talk to our co-op president today, but one of her appointments likely got in the way.  So we'll talk after the weekend is over.  I figure that we need to communicate better with our shareholders better than we have in the past - even if that means being a little uncomfortable while delivering a message.  No one cares enough to volunteer and do the job.  So why worry about the consequences of telling an unvarnished truth to our shareholders?

- - - - - -

RQS arrived at the train station at her usual time, and we spend the next hour trying to find a specific arts and crafts store that carried some of the goods she needed for her crafting.  And then we went to the diner for dinner. Once done with dinner, we did a little shopping at the supermarket, then decamped for home. It was nice to be able to get out in my new dress, as now I know that I have the right dresses to get me through the coming heat wave.

We're still not sure what we will be doing tomorrow.  But it will likely involve driving somewhere and paying a ridiculous price for a talk of gas.

 

 

My knee is reminding me of yesterday's injury (a short post)

This morning, I woke up and noticed that my knee was bothering me. It's not a throbbing pain, but an ache I'm aware of when I put weight on both my feet. So, I'm paying attention to how I'm walking and taking it easy to give my knee time to heal.

- - - - - -

When I finally got out of bed, I decided to make it a jammie day, and relax at home.  Given that rain was expected, I wasn't in the mood to go out.  Instead, it was time to clean out some of the mess on my side of the bed and make it a safe path for walking.  This didn't require much walking, and it forced me to start tossing more things that have been taking up space - including a pair of boots whose cheap "leather" (if it did come from an animal) was falling apart.  One thing I know is that I am buying a better class of feminine clothing than I did a decade ago.

Once I made some headway with the mess, I started to look at the mess on the chest in front of the bed.  That will take even more work, as I have to sort things out and find places for all the things that I'm keeping that found a temporary home there. 

- - - - - -

PS:  Given that I am out and about and presenting as female most of the time, many of the things I write about are everyday occurrences that both trans and cisgender people experience.  What would you like to know about being transgender that breaks this mold?  Please let me know, and I will answer all questions if possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Lunch under a Gazebo isn't so safe.

 

Today, MSJ and I planned to have lunch in town.  I made the mistake of getting dressed in a nice summery dress, but not wear a top that could keep me warm.  But I digress....

We agreed to meet at the local bagel shop.. So I picked up a sandwich there and waited a few minutes for her to arrive.  Once she got something to eat, she suggested going to the pack to eat our food.  And that's where the "fun" began.  After sitting down, I got up to retrieve some napkins that had blown away, and I tripped getting off the park bench.  I had a mild scrape, but had a little bit of a time getting up due to aching a little from my fall.  At least, nothing was broken.

Once back at the bench, we got to talking.  MSJ and I talked of family issues, as well as the commonality of being a caregiver to an ailing spouse.  People in our family backgrounds were never taught to use therapists or to participate in caring groups.  Yet, we both found that overcoming our backgrounds was something that we had in common.

All too soon, we had to part.  I went home for a while, and then it was off to BJ's for some retail therapy.  I ended up bringing back a Seafood Boil Bag, with snow crab legs, shrimp, sausage, and corn.  For $22, it was a bargain compared to what I'd spend at a Cajun place for something similar.  Yes, it was messy.  But the food was tasty.  Did it replace what I could get at the restaurant?  No.  But it was something that sated my craving for this kind of food.

Tomorrow, if the weather is warm enough, I will put on a different dress and go out again.  Where I will go, I do not yet know. But I intend to get out and do something while the weather is nice.

Another long board meeting.... (another short post)

 

Ah, if we could have called on Batman to deal with our problems.  We would have gotten a much faster response from the parties involved in our board's previous crisis.  But now, all we have to do is keep our co-op running as it is for the next few months, and we'll be able to end our shareholder assessment early. Now, we have to shift from crisis mode from ongoing pain mode for the next few months.  It'll be a relief for us to be able to think about the future again.

- - - - - -

This morning, I had no plans to do much of anything.  So, when I finally got up, I decided to cook some eggs for a change.  (I haven't cooked any in a long time, and the associated diet change may be part of why I've noticed some changes in my body.)  And then I took it easy most of the day.

There is a mess in the living room from yesterday's return home.  I couldn't take the time to put things down neatly when I got home, as a much needed bio-break had to take place.  With the urgency gone, I wasn't in the mood to neaten the place.  That'd be a task for another day.  And today, I started that task.  First on the list was folding last week's laundry - a basket full of underwear, etc. awaited me, and I knew it had to be done.  

- - - - - -

Around 5:15, the board meeting began, and we started the long, arduous task of interviewing 3 applicants to buy apartments.  About 2 1/2 hours later, the real "fun" began - we had to review financial issues and catch up on things that the interviews kept us from doing.  By the time 9:30 came abound, we were all  exhausted.  But I still had more work to do.  I had edits to make on the house rules, the quarterly newsletter, and the meeting minutes.  Although I wasn't going to finish everything this evening, I got a good start on the process. 

Finally, when my eyes began to cross, I called RQS and then fell asleep shortly afterwards. 

Will we ever return to what might be called "Normal?"

 

Will we ever return to "Normal?"  That is a question that keeps coming to mind.  I used to be able to listen to the news and opinion channels without getting sick.  Now, I can only listen in small increments, as the news is so depressing.  The Orange Monster was tricked into making the one mistake which could (and probably will) destroy the American empire and its Pax Americana.  And I fear what will happen next.

America is no longer a beacon of freedom to the rest of the world.  The xenophobic policies of the orange monster have scared away the very immigrants we need to keep our country as prosperous as it has been.  What will that mean to pensioners such as me?  How could this affect my bank account and investments?  Although I have a potential exit route out of the USA if we become an authoritarian republic, most Americans do not have a "Get out of Jail Free" card in their pockets.  What will happen to them?

Our currency is losing its value, and our national debt is going up.  The "Leadership" in Washington is claiming that the increase of credit card usage is a good thing.  Yet, this is a lie.  People are going into debt in order to buy food - that's never a healthy thing for a society to experience.  America is heading for a financial collapse triggered by the orange monster, and I wonder what will be left afterwards.

What is happening to our justice system?  In the past, the Department of Justice (DOJ) used to be an independent part of the executive branch of government.  Now, it is a tool for the monster to extract revenge against his political enemies.  He does not distinguish between the people who were really out to attack him vs. the people whose jobs were to impartially enforce the laws he broke.  Couple this with the ICE "Gestapo" and America's system of legal "due process" becomes meaningless.  How many people will be destroyed in his pogroms?

Normally, our elections would be a safeguard against government overreach.  But now, with Gerrymandering wars going on, I'm not sure if the will of the people will have any power anymore.  Can we check and balance the power of an abusive government.  I'm not sure anymore.  Yes, there will be a few areas of the country that will be able to resist - at least, for a while.  But I am concerned about what America will look like when this ability to resist is worn away.  Will we look like a Christian Nationalist version of Iran?  Who knows?  But this would not be the kind of America I'd want to live in.

Yet, I still have hope for this country.  Soon, I plan to travel to a place where I've avoided travel for a while.  Although I expect no problems, who knows what will happen.  I'm hoping to see the seeds of normalcy being sown this autumn.  But if not, I have an exit plan, and hope to have my "letters of transit" for two by then.... 

Sometimes I get bored, and can't find anything interesting to do, read, or watch. (a short post)

 

Lately, I find myself needing noise on in the background so that I can relax.  If I leave the TV on, I have to avoid newscasts, lest I get distracted and pay too much attention to the news - a scary thing, these days with the Orange Monster in charge.  But if I have quiet, I crave some form of sound coming in from almost any source.

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There is a part of me that enjoys relative solace.  I'm not sure if RQS understands this, as I can't wear a sign that says: "I don't have the energy to hold a conversation right now."  So, I participate in chat when we're together, when she wants to make it - she does the same with me, so it's a fair trade.  But when I'm alone, something different kicks in.  I leave the TV on to make some kind of noise, whether it be people speaking or music playing, it's a form of white noise that breaks the silence.

It's not easy for me to stay attentive to a TV show for long, nor do I listen to music in the way I used to do.  Reading books can be hard for me, as I need to retain my focus to read several chapters at once, and then get back to the book later on.  As a result, I have many books on my bookshelf that I want to read, but haven't forced myself to read.  Old age has given me a form of ADHD that I have to deal with.  AARGH!

At least, I still enjoy shopping for new dresses, even though I can no longer justify adding new dresses to my wardrobe without donating old dresses to charity that I am no longer interested in wearing. 

 

A trip in Manhattan for a bite to eat and a movie to watch

 

As one would expect, like many couples, RQS and I get bored staying in the house all weekend.  So she suggested that we see a movie, and I said OK.  But I caved when she wanted to see The Devil Wears Prada 2, as this was a more popular movie.  So, I put on my new dress (see below)  and we took the subway into Manhattan to see the film.

We got into Manhattan at 3:15, and walked over to the theater to pick up tickets for a 4:30 showing.  One problem: The only seats that were available were right in front of the screen, not a good spot to watch a film.  So we decided to bail on the movie, and then go to the restaurant for some food.

I was prepared for something more classy.  But RQS knew of this place called Tattoonette, a Middle Eastern fast food place.  Even so, I ended up spending a smidgen over $50 for dinner there.  The Chicken Schnitzel was good, but the Fwlafel was small for what one might expect.  Was it good value?  Yes.  But it is certainly a place where a couple would not go on a first or second date.

Given that everything was 13th street related, we ambled over to the Quad Cinema to watch Fantasy Life. I won't go much into the film's plot, save that it is a love story which could not and should not be consummated.  (Look up the film on IMDB if you want to know more.)  Both of us enjoyed the film, and then it was time to go home.

By the time I got home, I couldn't wait to take off my bra (and the rest of my clothes) and get into a nightie for bed.  Just before I stripped everything off, I looked into the mirror and thought - boy am I getting old!  I'd better try to lose my weight now, or I won't be ab;e to get the FFS I desire.  (I'd love to look like that woman in the picture, even if I have to keep my current plumbing to have a stable relationship with RQS.). 

The family homestead is virtually gone.

 

 

I'll miss this house when it's sold.  No, I haven't lived here in 44 years.  But it holds many memories for me and my brother.  As I write this, I'm at RQS's place, while my brother is carting off the remaining stuff we stored in the house.

I grew up here.  Both my brother and I have memories of the Oak and Pear trees we once had in the back yard.  My brother notes that the neighborhood is likely to change, as they have approved a 3-story building about a mile and a half away from the house on a main drag.  There will be much more resistance to over development in this community than those areas in "the city".

In my childhood, there were many undeveloped tracts of land in this area.  Now, everything has been developed, and we're not likely to see redevelopment into typical 5-borough multiple unit housing anytime soon.  Yet, one might find this kind of redevelopment near suburban railroad stations on Long Island.  It only makes sense - it subtly forces people to choose jobs, legal and medical professionals, etc. near mass transit, as many buildings are only required to provide one parking space per residential unit.

Soon, I will no longer have any ties to the town in which I spent my formative years.  It will be a loss, but I can still have a laugh about some posts about the town such as in the link below:

Floral Park PD - New Addition.