The high point of my day was at lunch

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I've worked at the census, and 4 years since I felt comfortable with being 'out' as a transgender person.  Today, I met with one of my friends from the census and had a nice lunch.

My friend (let's call her CSC) and I have been trying to meet on a monthly basis since our work on the census ended.  And we've been able to keep up to date on happenings in our lives since then.  She's shared information on family events, her travels, and on things in general - and I've done the same.  The one thing I'll share about our conversation is how her dietary restrictions have affected her when dining out....

CSC comes from a Jewish family.  As a result, she lived in a kosher household and has never eaten pork or shellfish.  That is not an issue for her.  She is allergic to peanuts, peas, and bananas.  She is also a vegetarian who once ate meat in the past.  So, she finds herself having to talk about dietary issues every time she goes out to eat.  Even when she does so, things can go a little wrong as it did today; A pea was found in the yellow rice served to her, and she had to send it back for some white rice.  (A minor issue, Yes.  But she could have suffered a severe allergic reaction.)  She told me about visits to restaurants which had no vegetarian options on the menu, where the chef concocted some very tasty dishes just for her.  And she told me about restaurants that said they couldn't accommodate her - then they did.  Nowadays,  it's much easier for her, as most restaurants are willing to have both vegan and gluten free foods on the menu, as well as knowing how to keep "special requirements" food prepared separately from "regular" food.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So we made plans for the following month and went on our way.

- - - - - -

Once home, I had to switch back to Mario mode.  I had a handyman coming over to see about replacing the exhaust fan/ceiling light in the bathroom.  This will be a slightly more expensive project than I planned, as he suggested that he repaint the ceiling after he finishes installing the fixture.  (The ceiling paint has started to flake off in one area, and I've deferred doing this work.)  So, I handed him a deposit, and he will buy all the supplies needed for the job - and he will get back to me to schedule the work.

- - - - - -

Now that my 15 minutes as Mario was over with, it was time to switch back into Marian mode for a zoom call with my friends from Texas and RQS.  I'll bet that they noticed that I was exhausted, but I was able to stay awake during our meeting.  (Again, I didn't get enough good sleep the night before.)  Hopefully, we will all be able to get together again in 2025.  But that's another story.  Shortly afterwards was my nightly call with RQS to end my day.

Sometimes, I don't have much to say. Sometimes, I have a lot.

 

Lately, I have been thinking of politics much more than usual. Given that Trump is going Senile and no one is standing in his way to get the GOP nomination, I'm a little concerned about what would happen if he has control over the "Football" again.

The former president is a narcissist who needs to be loved by everyone with whom he comes into contact. He has no loyalty to friends and family, nor does he have any loyalty to the country.  But he has a following of lemming like supporters.  This afternoon, while I was driving home, I stopped into a pizzeria. Sitting down at a table was the owner, a man who wore a MAGA baseball cap.  There was no way that I wanted to have a political discussion with this person.  So I took my pizza and walked to a table in the back to eat it.

Of course, RQS can say that I am a motor mouth.  And she'd be right.  I can go on for hours about some subjects, and have done so often.  But this time, I knew enough to keep my mouth shut and walk away.  I only wonder if this person really understood that he was getting conned by a master con man.

A nice weekend with RQS - a quick post

 

This weekend was a "half and half" weekend in more ways than one.  Although she came up on Thursday to spend the evening with me at game night, we drove down to her place on Saturday to spend the rest of the weekend in the city.  This was a nice change of pace.

But first....

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But I had enough to get dressed and meet RQS at the train station in Marian mode.  From there, we were off to Lefteris Gyro, as we'd be heading towards Yonkers for game night.  Once done with dinner, we drove over to game night where RQS was warmly welcomed.  (I think that the host and hostess approve of my choice of girlfriend.😊)  We were in time for 2 games, and both of us did poorly - and had fun doing so.

On Friday, I had to return to Mario mode, so that I could test drive a car.  I'm very surprised that Buick has a compact SUV in my price range. Even though it has a 3 cylinder engine, the car had a bit of pep for a small car.  The way the car performed justified my visit to the dealership.

Saturday came, and we woke up late.  Instead of risking not getting a parking spot at her house, we skipped test drives of 2 other brands/models, and saved time by going directly to Ridgewood.  And this was a good thing, as after a bit of food shopping in her neighborhood, it took 15 minutes to find a parking spot.

Sunday was a sleepy day for us.  And the only reason for getting dressed was a visit to the local Bodega.  While out, we checked the alternate side of the street parking rules that applied to my car.  I could stay overnight!  Yay!  So that's just what I did.  It was nice to have an extra night with RQS.....

It's hard to believe that I booked another cruise already

I have a cruise coming up in 3 months, and both of us have another in 5.  Yet, RQS and I have just scheduled another cruise for the fall - this time to Bermuda, when both of us have a bucket list cruise to finish paying for.  AARGH!  Luckily, both of us can afford this cruise, but it forces us to think about the cruising/vacations we'll be taking in 2025.

- - - - - -

Normally, we don't see Free Pre-Paid Gratuities on NCL.  Its "Free at Sea" package does not cover gratuities - this means that we each would have to pay:

• Beverage Service Charge           - $152.55
• Specialty Dining Service Charge -  $19.80
• Daily Service Charge                  - $140.00

However, the deal noted above with Pre-Paid Gratuities (Daily Service Charge) made it worth the while to upgrade to a balcony cabin.  Yet, it's money that I wasn't planning to put out until after we returned from Europe.  

- - - - - -

Now that we've committed the better part of $15k to travel in 2024, what does this mean for 2025?  I'm not sure if RQS wants to commit to another bucket list trip.  Additionally, I'm not sure if our bucket lists are fully in sync with each other. This is not a big deal, as I see room for us to heck off a few destinations on each of our lists.

For example,  If one looks at the above chart that I maintain on a monthly basis, you'll see that I am looking to take either one of two Alaska cruises during the shoulder seasons.  Additionally, I am seriously looking at a cruise in Iceland, a cruise through the Panama Canal, and a Transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2.  It's not practical to take more than one of these cruises in any one calendar year.  I'd like to take the Panama Canal cruise in 2025, as I expect that global warming will affect water levels in the Canal Zone. I can see us going to either Alaska or Iceland in 2026.  If we push the calendar into tracking 2027 cruises, I'll add a Hawaii cruise (or two) to this list.  Checking off bucket list destinations can get quite expensive, and I want to make sure that RQS enjoys the trips as much as I will.

- - - - - -

You'll note that we've also talked about river cruises.  These will cost even more than the ocean cruises we've been taking lately.  So instead, we might end up choosing to visit a city/region and exploring it for a week or so.  One of the places we've talked about going to is San Francisco before it implodes.  (A city that loses its tax base will soon neglect essential public safety and social services, and will be as crime ridden as New York was in the 1980's.)  Ideally, we'll find a place where I can go as Marian and both of our Texas friends would be willing to visit with us.  If not, we'll explore it on our own.  On our list of cities to explore are Seattle, New Orleans, Boston, Philadelphia and Washington, DC.  (DC is always fun to visit, and it's a place where I've gone as Mario and as Marian.)

As you can see, travel is high on my list of things to do.  And I hope to do as much as possible while I'm healthy enough to do so.

Now, I have some plans for more than the next couple of days.

 

This won't be a long post.  But I know how I'll be dressed for the next week or so.  And it'll be nice to spend another week solely as Marian!

In the past, I have mentioned how I use a calendar to keep track of which days I'll present as Mario and which days I'll present as Marian.  Tomorrow, RQS and I are going to the nail salon - and that means that I'll be spending the better part of next week as Marian.  Yay!  Yes, it helps that RQS will be coming up for Game Night this week.  And I'm always glad that she can spend time with the people I call my friends.

When I dated XGFJ, there were people with whom I only socialized with as Marian.  This situation made XGFJ uncomfortable accompanying me to certain gatherings.  Now that we've been out of each other's lives for a while, we've been able to live our lives without encumbrances posed by each other's comfort levels.  And that's been a blessing for me, as I prefer to be out as Marian as much as possible.

The other day, I chatted with a friend about this, and she was glad that RQS and I are in a place where she's comfortable with me in either presentation.  Yet, I know that when V-Day comes, I'll likely be in Mario mode for that night - I think she'll be happy to see me that way on that special day.  Yet, it would be nice if we could both get dressed up in elegant red dresses and spend that night on the town.  One can dream, can't she....?

It's hard to plan things these days

 

I don't know how I stumbled onto the above picture of Alfred and Alice E. Newman.  But it illustrates how the true essence of an individual will show through, no matter the gender presentation of that individual.  In my case, my true friends see me as the same person in both male and female modes, although they are sometimes surprised when I show up in the alternate presentation.

- - - - - -

Planning my gender presentation can be a hassle.  For example, I have a book at the library that I want to pick up, and that requires that I show myself in Mario mode.  Yet, RQS and I plan to get a Mani-Pedi this weekend, so I will need to present myself as Marian for my visit to the nail spa.  This is a typical scheduling problem for me, as I have to figure out ways to do some things that require Mario to be present, while I will be out as Marian later in the day.  However, once I'm wearing nail polish, I'm stuck in Marian mode for the better part of a week (or more).

I have other scheduling issues to deal with.  Having a steady relationship with RQS, I do my best to make sure that my weekends are dedicated to being with her.  This has meant that my solo social life has been limited to weekdays.  But this also poses a challenge, as many of my friends are single (or in relationships such as mine) and are still working.  It's not easy to find times where both my friends and I are available to do things in the evening.

Yet, I manage.  I use a color coded calendar to tell me which presentation to use when out for the day.  On days where both Mario and Marian need to show their faces, I make sure that Mario gets the morning shift and Marian gets the evening shift.  Even this isn't perfect.  Sometimes, I need to be Marian in the morning, and Mario in the evening.  So, I try to make sure that I don't have to switch modes more than once in a day, and then only when I'm not wearing nail polish.

As I said - it's hard to plan things when one lives in two gender presentations.

Baby, it's cold outside.

 

I ought to say, "No, no, no sir"
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Baby, it's cold outside

 

- - - - - -

 

Many years ago, a smart lyricist penned the tune "Baby, it's cold outside."  It was that cold this past weekend, and it caused RQS and I to stay in for the time we were together.

The weekend started with a snow alert.  Since this weekend was my turn to go to RQS's place, I knew that I couldn't leave my car in its usual spot, as they use it to dispose of snow plowed from our driveway.  So, I parked it in a visitor's spot and took a cab to the train station.

Normally, if I take mass transit to RQS's place, it takes me around 2-2½ hours to get to her place.  This weekend, it took almost 3 hours as I was delayed due to a conversation I had with a couple of neighbors. (One neighbor has been sick for a while, and he was discussing issues he had with the local hospital.)  After the 1¼ hour ride on the local, I found that I had a problem with my reduced fare Metrocard, and had to use my full fare OMNY card instead to get on the subway, and then on the bus for a total of another 1¼-1½ hours. Eventually, I reached RQS's place where she had dinner waiting for me.

Given that neither of us wanted to brave the cold, we decided to stay indoors as much as possible. And that's where we stayed, with the exception of a trip to her local library to drop off books, then the local bodega to pick up food for breakfast and dinner.  BRRRR!  I won't say much about her adjustable bed, save that it was comfortable and that I kept sliding towards the foot board.  If I find that I like this bed when the weather gets warmer, I might buy one for myself.

All too quickly, the weekend ended.  When we left the house, it was a little warmer outside and was almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop.  Why "almost a pleasure to wait at the bus stop?"  Well, we saw the express bus that would take us to the subway, and neither of us thought we'd make it to the bus stop on time.  I realized that with the timing of traffic lights and the out of service bus in front of it, we had a chance of catching the bus.  And I got to the bus stop just in time, allowing RQS a chance to catch up with me and enjoy a short ride - no waiting needed or possible!  When we reached Grand Central, it was time to part.  At least, we know where we'll be next weekend.

As cold as a witch's....

 

Today ended up being a stay-at-home day, as SJM had to postpone our lunch until next week.  That was OK with me, as I really didn't want to get dressed, go out in the cold to clean the snow off my car, then drive to lunch.  I was nice and happy in my warm apartment, and didn't want to change things or make any effort to do so.

- - - - - -

I figure that I have to fight off the lethargy that has taken over my life as of late.  And I plan to get out of the house tomorrow, if only to go to another meetup and get out in the world with people.  But that doesn't say much about today, does it?  For the most part, I did almost nothing of note other than watching videos and resting.  Could it be that I have a hibernation instinct?  I doubt it.  

Eventually, I had to take out the garbage.  So I got dressed enough to make it to the dumpster, brush the snow off the car, and get my mail from the mailbox before returning to my apartment.  While outside, I noticed how cold it was, and noted that it will be 10 degrees colder this coming weekend when I'm with RQS.  Given that it might snow again, I may just leave my car in a visitor's space while I use mass transit to visit RQS at her place.

Once done with the outside world for the night, it was on to a Zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  We presented the option of getting together in the fall, but it looks like we'll have a better chance of getting together in 2025 when it is warm and dry.  (Or, at least, I hope so.) My one requirement is that if we meet somewhere, the place we meet must be LGBT friendly - especially to people of a non-conforming gender presentation. Although we talked of many things, I won't go into all of what we chatted about.  In short, it was nice to chat with these friends again....

A Half and Half Weekend

 

Often, I get to spend half the weekend in Marian mode and the other half as Mario.  This past weekend was one of those weekends. Given the cold weather that was coming in, I knew that going out as Marian would be harder to do without freezing a little.  So I made sure to be able to get that day in before the weather made things uncomfortable.

- - - - - -

When I picked RQS up at the train station, I had a simple question to ask her: Do we eat in or out?  (I had 2 steaks thawed out, waiting to be cooked in the ice box.)  RQS decided that we should eat out.  So we went to Savannah & Co. for a change of pace - and both of us ordered the Baby Back Ribs.  Yum! Then it was home for the evening.

The next day, we hung out around the house most of the day, with the idea of seeing Freud's Last Session in Pleasantville.  The press on this film said that Anthony Hopkins delivered a great performance, but the movie didn't strike home as well as the play did.  So, I had to see it for myself, given that I had seen the play 2 or 3 times in New York.  And I agree with the critics - fleshing out the film to include Freud's daughter took away from the interplay between Freud and C.S.Lewis.

Sunday could easily have been another day of rest for the two of us.  But RQS wanted to shop for a mattress, and I wanted to get out of the house.  So, at 3 pm, we drove out to the Bob's in Nanuet (I was in Mario mode, and I was in Marian mode when we went to the Bob's in Yonkers) where RQS bought a mattress, an adjustable foundation, pillows, and mattress protection.  She fell in love with the second mattress she tried out - and I think I might buy the same combination after I've had the chance to sleep in her bed next weekend.

Sadly, Monday came and I had to drop RQS off at the train station.  This was not a weekend to go into NYC, as they were having political protests in Union Square when RQS met her friend in that area for lunch.  As for me, I unboxed a jewelry cabinet and mirror and mounted it on the wall.  Unfortunately, I will have to redo what I did, as the unit is sitting too high on my door to use as a mirror.

 

The day after

 

In many ways, yesterday was a day which I needed assistance to get what I needed to do done.  Today was very different.  I had the freedom to do what I wanted - even if all I wanted to do was rest.  And rest I did.

- - - - - -

Yesterday was the end of a disrupted sleep cycle for me.  Today, I caught up on most of that sleep, not waking up until noon.  For many of us that would be a weekend luxury.  But for a retired person, one has the choice on when to sleep and when to be awake.  And I find that being awake well into the night allows me to enjoy the peace and quiet that only occurs on the graveyard shift.

When I finally got moving, I wasn't sure of whether I should go to the bank on co-op business or not.  I'm glad I put this off until tomorrow, as there was another check I had to get cut -and I didn't want to get dressed as Mario unless I didn't have to do so.  This allowed me even more free time before going to a trivia night meetup being held at a local brewpub.

Around 5:45 pm, I decided to get dressed to go to the brewpub.  Although the weather was cold outside, I decided to wear a comfortable dress and head off to Ossining.  I'd never been to the Sing Sing Kill brewpub before, and was pleasantly surprised to find it across the street from the local police station. Given that Spring street has been the dividing line between Ossining's nice and not so nice neighborhoods, it was nice to know that Ossining's government and businesses are working to make the village a better place to live.

At 7:00 pm, trivia night started.  By 8:00 pm, I was starting to feel tired.  None of the questions were in any of my strong fields of knowledge.  Even so, our group finished in second place.  I was glad to be out of there by 8:30 pm, and began to wake up while talking to TCL.  After I got home, I chatted with RQS, and then fell out for a while.  I guess it will take a little while longer until my body's circadian rhythm is back to my "normal".

A woman's work is never done - A short post

 

Tonight, I left RQS to take care of things at home.  But I notice one thing about her: She's always trying to take care of the little things that I'll let sit for a while. As much as I am grateful for this, I also wish that she could put down her burdens for a while and relax a little.  And this got me thinking....

How much of what could be perceived as male laziness around the house can be attributed to women taking on responsibilities too quickly?

A while back, RQS had a situation where her brother should have stepped up and taken on some responsibilities on his own.  (I won't go into details here.)  He didn't step up, and she had to take on the bulk of these responsibilities.  What would have happened had she not stepped up?  Chaos to say the least. Why do women let men get away with this?

- - - - - -

Years ago, a Jewish woman and I had a conversation regarding the roles of men and women in the faith. One of the prayers that the men chant has a phrase that thanks god for not being born as women.  They recognized the role of women in the family, yet treated women as if they are subordinate.  What lazy bums!!!!  Shouldn't the men be taking on more responsibility to make their women's lives easier?  Instead, they seem to be giving thanks to be allowed to be deadbeats.

Similar attitudes can be found in many faiths and cultures.  And having been raised as a male, I absorbed some of these values when young, and have had to work to erase the dysfunctional subset of values from my belief system.  Yet I wonder: Why don't more women just say NO and let the system that enslaves them fall apart?

It's been a long while since I've been in Queens

 

It's been years since I've been to Zum Stammtisch in Glendale, Queens.  The QCLC used to go there on occasion, as it was one of the last good German restaurants in the area and we knew that all beers served there would be acceptable under the Reinheitsgebot (German Beer Purity Law).  I have enjoyed many a good dinner there from the time I was attending college, and wanted to introduce RQS to some "stick to your ribs" German food.  So, a visit to RQS's place was a perfect excuse for me to invite my brother to join us for an after work dinner.  

- - - - - -

On Friday, I started running errands in order to prepare for an upcoming colonoscopy, as well as depositing a 401K distribution in my local bank.  Now, I have enough money available to buy the new car that I put off buying due to the Covid-19 pandemic and its associated supply chain disruption.  Unlike most times I've driven to RQS's place, I knew that I had to make it to her place before 4:30 pm, as people would not be moving their cars from their parking spots until Monday.  (One can usually find a spot during the day on Saturday and Sunday.  But with a winter storm coming, no one would want to risk not having a parking spot to last the weekend.)  I was lucky - I found a spot in front of RQS's building, and there was no way I was going to leave before Sunday.

My brother arrived at RQS's place at 6:00, and we drove over to Zum Stammtisch for dinner.  My brother had been to this place once (or, so he said), but this was RQS's first time there.  So we sat down to enjoy a deceptively filling meal.  About 2 hours, we finished our meal and it was time to go home for the night.  And this was just as well, as both of us fell asleep before the 11 pm news.

- - - - - -

I have nothing much to say about Saturday, as we didn't bother to go out of the apartment for anything.  But Sunday was something else.  I had to leave, and start getting things ready for my colonoscopy prep to start on Monday.  So, I packed up my stuff and left for home with a quick stop at Stew Leonard's along the way.  Looking at the road, I noticed that NYC had been spared the brunt of the storm.  But as I crossed into Westchester, snow had stuck on the ground.  By the time I got home, I figure that there was 3 inches of the white stuff on the ground near my place.  I can only imagine what it was like further North and West of here....

A telling of tales for the New Year

 

As usual, publication of journal entries in this blog is a little behind the times.   By the time you read this, 2 weeks will have passed, and I will have gone through an appointment with my GP, gotten a colonoscopy, and have had my teeth X-Rayed.  And those are only things that I know will happen over the next couple of weeks.

- - - - - -

When this weekend began, RQS came up on a crowded train from NYC.  Instead of eating what I had at home, we proceeded to the local diner as I was in Mario mode for the day  And this was a wise choice, as both of us had leftovers we could bring home to eat later on.  The manager and a long time waitress both noted that it was a long while since I've eaten there, and I mentioned that I had been traveling, spending half my time in Queens these days.  The last thing I was going to mention was that I spend more than half my time as Marian, and didn't want to "out" myself to them.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and neither of us wanted to get out of the house.  And we didn't do much, save to make a shopping run as it was getting dark.  RQS needed a few things she could get at Walmart or Target, and I needed an excuse to take a drive.  So, off to Poughkeepsie we went, and then back home for the night.

But Sunday, New Year's Eve, was a different story.  I decided to let RQS stay in bad while I went to Church for the first and only time this year.  It was nice to reconnect with the rituals of my past, even though my late mother might have had another heart attack had she seen me in church wearing a nice dress and being addressed as Marian.  After church, it was off to Homestyle Desserts to pick up a cheesecake for the folks from Game Night and to pick up some cookies for RQS's friends, who we'd plan to meet the following day. About $85 later, I returned home to relax with RQS before going to Yonkers.

Not knowing what type of food we'd be eating, I decided to nuke some pre-made offerings from Trader Joe's for us to eat.  This wasn't needed, as there was much more than enough food to eat at our friends' place.  Strangely enough, most of us didn't end up playing any games.  The night was mostly spent by us talking with a few friends until shortly after midnight when we drove home slowly and carefully, making sure to avoid the amateur drunk drivers expected on the road this evening.

- - - - - -

New Year's Day came, and neither of us had any energy.  When RQS was looking for excuses not to go and visit her friend, I suggested that she had a GI Tract issue similar to that I often have (for real).  And this made it possible for her to sleep the day away until it was again dark outside.  The only reason I even bothered to get dressed was so that I could bring home a hot pizza for us to eat.  And then, it was back in my jammies for the evening....

Relaxing & Preparing to Vlog

Today was a day where I didn't do much of anything, save for laundry.  It's becoming more common these days for me to be a couch potato.  So, I don't mind excuses that get me out of the house and doing things.  If the Yonkers meetup group met every Thursday as it once did, I'd have gotten up and did more before the end of my day.

- - - - - -

RQS was right.  As soon as I got my new sofa, I'd find myself falling asleep there during the day.  But this leaves the bed available for night time use.  In the daytime, I'm more likely to be watching YouTube videos or reading books.  Last night, I finished Romney, A Reckoning, by McKay Collins.  I found out about this book a while back, and it paints a damning picture of what today's GOP has become.  I highly recommend this book to those people who have any doubts regarding Trump's (and the GOP's) unfitness to govern.  Although I have started another book, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it on time.  Since it is in high demand, I must return it at the the end of its 14 day lending period.  This means that I may just have to request it again after a few weeks have passed.

On other matters, I am starting a YouTube essentials course on the basics of Vlogging.  There are several topics that I plan to talk about and I hope that others find my Vlogging of interest.  However, I am not likely to use my authentic transgender identity until I go 24x7 in the world.  Instead, I will likely Vlog as Mario, as I still can present as a decent looking male when I need to.

Recently, RQS sent me information from 2 Vloggers who discussed the trip I recently took, and a solo cabin that is just like the one I stayed in on my December cruise.  I'm glad that others have similar feelings to what I have about travel on this ship.  Given what I have written in my cruise blog, I have confirmation that I can report on a cruise line, a cruise ship, and a cruise itinerary with an objective eye.  Hopefully, I will be able to maintain my objectivity as I develop the skills to Vlog on topics I choose.  And when I do so, I may post some links here for my readers to view my Vlogs.

Now, I can talk about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

 

Yes, I know that you'll be reading this post two weeks after the holiday.  But then, I don't want to announce to my readers where I am until after I've returned home.  The above picture was taken on a cruise I took in December, and didn't write about until I returned.

- - - - - -

RQS came up for Xmas weekend on Friday, and we went out for a bite to eat at the local diner shortly after she arrived.  Once we got home, I took care of a financial issue that had to be dealt with before the holiday, and then we went out to buy a gift for TCL and Pat (my former hypnotist), both of whom I'd be seeing on Xmas day. Saturday came, and we had nothing on the docket.  However, I decided to visit a friend who had a pop-up store nearby, and chatted with him for an hour before returning home.  As one could tell, the opening of the weekend would not be that busy for us.

Christmas eve came, and this meant that both of us would get dressed up to dine at Crabtree's Kittle House.  This restaurant is a place that many get dressed up for, and we fit in well with the place as we were dressed to the eights. (It's also a place where special meals run over $100 per, before drinks are included - but it's worth every penny.) I had the gnocchi as my appetizer, while RQS had the lobster bisque. RQS's first thought was that it looked just as appetizing as the lobster bisque in NCL's Le Bistro or Cagney's restaurants. And she was just as happy finishing everything in the bowl. For the main course, I chose the short ribs while RQS chose the salmon for our main courses, and we were well sated by the time dessert came.  And again, we chose different things.  I went for the heath bar cheesecake, while she went for the Boche de Noel.  At the end of the meal, we were sated and unable to think about food until the next morning.

Both of us took our time in getting moving on Christmas day, and didn't bother getting dressed until 3 pm.  By the time we got out the door, we were running late to see Pat - and didn't get there until 5 pm.  She was very happy to see us, and we all thought our visit had to end too soon.  About 5:45, we drove over to TCL's place to pick her up for dinner.  Although we were late, we had no problem getting a seat at a local Chinese restaurant, where we became "Honorary Jews for Christmas".  (See this article for more background.)  We all had the standard Chinese entrees, and I treated TCL to a belated birthday dinner.

Again, we ended up parting way too soon, and went home for the evening.  In the end, this was a nice way to spend Christmas weekend.....

An unexpected gift....

 

As my readers know, I enjoy cruising, both alone and with a companion.  But cruising can get expensive, especially when one wants to take bucket list trips such as cruising the Norwegian Fjords.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that because I qualified for Social Security survivor benefits (I was married for 11 years, and was widowed at the age of 39), that I could get a payout on my late wife's account before converting the payments to come from my account.

Today, I received the survivor benefit payout, and I can now afford to take a cruise out of Los Angeles in the Spring.  Hopefully, I'll be able to visit my uncle before this cruise, as he doesn't have many years to go on this planet, and I want to see him while he's still (sort of) vertical.

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Now, the big question is: Where do I want to cruise to?  I can easily afford a 7-day California Coastal cruise.  And I can afford a 15-day Hawaii cruise.  But which one makes more sense?  That's the question I must answer soon, as I will miss having RQS with me even more if I were to take the longer trip.

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 8 - Debarkation & Cruise Thoughts

 

We're finally home!  As much as I enjoyed being by myself for a week, I missed having RQS by my side and couldn't wait to meet her at Grand Central.  

But first things first....

I didn't much get sleep, and I ended up watching the ship's virtual porthole TV channel as the ship was about to go under the Verrazano Narrows Bridge around 4:30 am.  Although I tried to rest a little more, I was unable to do so and proceeded to get ready for the day.  After showering, making up my face, and getting dressed for the last time while on the ship, I packed up all my gear, double checked that I was leaving nothing in the room, and left my cabin for the last time around 7:00 am. Then, it was off to my last breakfast on the ship, where I was seated next to a couple who drove to the pier from Canada.  (I can only imagine what their drive home will be like.)  We struck up a conversation and found out that they had similar feelings to mine in regard to this cruise.  All too soon, they had to leave, and I finished my breakfast at a leisurely pace.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stall things any longer, and proceeded to an area where I could sit and kill a couple of hours - the main dining room.  Although it was a staging area for people who needed assistance in leaving the ship, I was welcome to hang out there as the buffet area upstairs was already mobbed with people trying to get their last ship board meal.  

Around 9:30-9:45 am, my group number was called, and I finally got off the ship.  Although it was a long walk to the baggage claim area, my suitcase was waiting for me there.  Since we cleared customs while in Miami, there was no reason to stop for an ID check when debarking at Brooklyn.  So I took another long walk with my luggage to the ferry, walking through slow moving people and around vehicles picking up passengers for their rides home.  Unfortunately, I just missed the ferry as it was leaving the dock, and I had to kill an hour before the next ferry came.

Around 10:35 am, the ferry came, and I was off to Grand Central.  I texted RQS to let her know that I'd be in Manhattan by 11:00 am, and would likely be at Grand Central's waiting room by 12:30 pm. Instead of walking to the subway station on Wall Street, I decided to do a shoreline walk to South Ferry.  It was a nice day, and I could use the exercise. So, after 15 minutes or so, I caught a uptown bound train and made it to Grand Central ahead of time. 

As I got to the waiting area, I noticed that the women's room line was out the door.  Winter tourist season had begun, and Grand Central was much busier than usual.  After taking care of business, I picked up a sandwich downstairs and proceed to wait for RQS.  It wasn't a long wait, as we were able to make the 12:23 train to Croton with a few minutes to spare.

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Would I take another cruise on MSC in the future?

I'm just as ambivalent on this as I was before taking the cruise?  MSC is a cruise line for "value oriented" (price conscious) cruisers.  If Carnival is the Walmart of cruise lines, then MSC is aiming to be the Target of cruise lines. Nothing shouted "Don't cruise with us again" or "I can't wait to cruise with you again."  Instead, everything said "I don't care if I cruise with MSC again or not."  Everything seemed to be a notch below that of other lines I've cruised with, save for the glitz in the public areas of the ship.  That was often over the top.

The other day, I watched a cruise Vlogger whose main gig is being a Travel Agent. One of her clients noted that they tried MSC and told her empathically that they would never cruise with MSC again.  Another said, "No, I will never cruise with MSC again," but was attracted to cruise with them twice because of MSC's low prices.  Yet, this travel agent wouldn't be honest with her viewers about this cruise line, trying not to say bad things about them, so that she could collect her fees when booking people on this line.

MSC provides decent value for the money spent for their cruises.  But I wouldn't expect a top notch experience unless one has spent the money to enjoy their Yacht Club experience.  (Like most cruisers, I can't afford that experience.)  It's a line I might cruise on again of the price and itinerary was right.  So far, I haven't seen any future cruises that would get me to take another cruise on this line.

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 7 - Sea Day

 

Florida-Bahamas Cruise - Day 7 - Sea Day - 12/15/23

It is the last day on the ship, and part of me wishes it wouldn’t end.  Hopefully, I didn’t gain that much weight on the ship, as it will take some time to get it off without the average of 2-3 miles of walking every day.  Luckily, we have a clear sky today (a rarity on this cruise) and a smooth sea.  

The only reason I got up this morning was to go to the buffet for breakfast, and later for lunch.  While out for breakfast, I turned on the light to tell the steward that he could make up the room.  However, he was delayed, and I had to kill some time.  So I went to buy a couple of pictures from the photo lab - and they tried to upsell me a package of 5 photos when I was only interested in 3.  Instead of buying 3, I bought the 2 I really wanted and went back to my room. The steward was cleaning my room when I arrived with his supervisor discussing work with him.  He asked for another couple of minutes and I gave it to him.

After lunch, I found the disembarkation instructions in my cabin.  Looks like I’ll be one of the last people off the ship, as I have been assigned debarkation group #21.  This is fine with me, as it makes it easier to connect with RQS and travel to Croton together.  The only thing that concerns me is getting back to Manhattan and then to Grand Central. Today, I’ll have the luxury of time on my side.  But I won’t be sure of when I will get there.  So I’ll call RQS when I get on the ferry, to give her an idea of how long I’ll be waiting at Grand Central for her.

Just before I went to dinner, I packed everything into my large suitcase, and prepared to set it outside the door for pickup and delivery to the pier the next morning.  This would be the last of my specialty restaurants on the package, and I was underwhelmed by the seafood joint.  Few of the dishes on my package were worth the price, and I chose the spaghetti with clam sauce - which was very good.  After dinner, I had time to go back to the room and put some more dirty laundry into the suitcase before it was picked up by the stewards.  By doing so, I lightened what I’d be carrying with me in the morning, and committed myself to staying in the room for the rest of the evening.  So I called it a night, though I wasn’t sleepy yet.

Florida-Bahamas Cruise 2023 - Day 5 - Miami, FL

 

Florida-Bahamas Cruise - Day 5 - Miami, FL - 12/13/23

The day started with the knowledge that half of it would be wasted by a CBP (Customs and Border Control) requirement that all passengers disembark the ship, then re embark after returning to US waters before a final stop in the US.  What I didn’t know was how poorly this procedure would be in Miami compared to what I’ve experienced in Portland, ME.  

But first….

The ship was about 2 hours late coming into Miami.  This gave me the time to watch the ship’s virtual portholes on the TV, seeing the port entry while I was getting ready for breakfast.  Since I didn’t expect that the dining room would be open as normally scheduled, I decided to get a quick bite at the buffet - and it was mobbed as usual.  At least, I was able to get a seat at the back of the ship and watch the ship’s final docking movements.

About an hour later, I went to the theater to await the call for people who would be staying on the ship this port day to temporarily leave the ship. And by 10:30 am, we were leaving the ship.  On the way out, we were handed disposable ponchos, as it was raining outside.  A few minutes later, I was off the ship trying to figure out how to get to the waiting area at which we’d be spending the next few hours.  Neither MSC nor Miami Terminal staff gave any of us any ideas of where to go and where to wait.  Luckily, I found the way back into the terminal, and received a ticket with a boarding group number.  You’d expect that this number would mean something, but it didn’t.  More on that later.  Finding an open seat, I struck up a conversation with the fellow next to me.  It was nice to be able to have a nice chat with someone after relative social isolation for the past few days.  After another hour, I made my way to the restroom, but decided not to relieve myself there.  When an attendant has to tell women not to pee on the floor or on the toilet seat, I knew that this was not a place I was willing to get some relief.  Instead, I decided to follow the crowd to another waiting area, and wait a little more.

After another 45 minutes or two, someone made an announcement to wait until one’s boarding group was called before moving to board the ship.  So I decided to take an open seat and wait for a while.  Then, the people who decided to stand in line started moving towards the ship’s embarkation ramp.  I asked, what group number are they up to, and I was told groups 3 and 4.  It made sense to sit down for a few minutes.  A few minutes later, I asked an attendant about boarding groups, and I found out that they didn’t even care.  All they were doing was managing the flow of people back onto the ship, taking boarding group tickets at random.  So, I figured it best to find someone who looked familiar and join them on the line.  (Given the confusion, why not do this?)  I finally made it back to the ship around 2:00 pm, hungry enough to deal with an overcrowded buffet again.

Once done with food, I decided to make my one call to RQS this trip.  Although it was too noisy for us to chat much, it felt good for us to chat again.  (I can’t wait to see her when I return.  But that’s another story.)  After that, it was back to my cabin to rest for a while. Before I took my nap, I noticed a small puncture on my breast form.  Considering that I don’t want it to leak, I figured that I should use medical adhesive tape (3M product - forgot the brand name) that I use to minimize my brow ridges.  Hopefully, this was the right idea, or I will need to buy a replacement from the Breast Form Store.  And then, I decided to get dressed up in a nice black dress, hosiery, and a pair of flats.  The idea behind this is to get a picture of me at my prettiest taken tonight.

Around 7:00 pm, I started to get dressed to impress.  No, it was not a gala night.  But I wanted to be a little dressy tonight.  So I put on a LBD, some earrings, stockings and a pair of flats in order to get some nice pictures taken.  From what I can tell, one photographer’s work won’t make the cut.  But I expect that one of the pictures taken on the glittery staircase will be a keeper. (Sadly, it wasn't) After my pictures were taken, I went to see the comic, Dave Konig, in the Carousel theater.  He had a completely different routine than when he was in the main theater.  Again, it took 20 minutes to make me laugh,  But not as hard as last night.

Once the comedy show ended, I walked down to the MDR.  Although the service was nice, one of the wait staff used the dreaded “S” word until I told him that I was transgender, still using my old legal identification.  Once I did this, he used the correct gender pronouns.  Like last night, I had a steak (similar cut to last night’s steak) but it wasn’t as good (in part, because it was covered in gravy.) At least, the octopus appetizer and the chocolate cake I had for dessert were as good as I expected from a MDR.

After dinner, I hung out a little listening to music before going to my room to take off the bra, stockings and other decidedly feminine garments I wore tonight.  I can’t wait until tomorrow night when I get to wear the LBD that I wore to restaurant week about a month and a half ago….

Christmas Eve - Hoping that you will have a Happy Holiday!

 

By now I have been back from my Bahamas cruise for about a week.  More on that cruise after the holiday....

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Tonight, RQS and I are getting dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant.  It'll be nice to get dressed to the nines with her, and enjoy an elegant dinner.  I know that RQS enjoys seeing me presenting as Mario, but she indulges me by accepting Marian as well.  At least, she will get to see Mario tomorrow, when we go to TCL for an Xmas dinner.

Since I don't have too much to say, I'll see you after the holiday and catch up on what has been happening in my life.