I'm Tired!

"I'm Tired."  It's hard to believe that this song still makes me chuckle in the decades after "Blazing Saddles" was released.  It's tame enough that it could be played on broadcast TV.  Yet, the best gags are adult in nature.  

- - - - - -

If I weren't working a full time job, I'd be able to go to sleep late at night, and wake up when I feel rested.  This is not the case.  I have to be in at 8:00 am, and then make it look like I'm fully conscious until I leave for the day.  Today was a little worse than usual.  I had an interrupted sleep the night before, and I was finding it harder than usual to stay reasonably conscious.

When the day ended, I had to rush home to deal with a problem with my cable bill/payment, and rushed home to change before going to the cable store.  And even then, I couldn't get the problem resolved....  I may have made things worse by issuing a second payment on the account to bring it somewhat current, as the fellow at the store gave me an issue about this second payment.  

Payments: 

09/20 - $275 (not processed by cable)
10/04 - $300 (not processed by cable - I wasn't sure of exact amount and wanted to overpay.)
10/07 - $275 (processed by cable, not yet recorded at the bank.)

The first two payments were issued from my main bank's portal. The third was made from the cable company portal, drawn on a second bank.  

So now, I have to bring records from the 2 banks, plus a screen print from the cable company's site to the cable store to see what can be done.  This is going to be a big pain in the ass for me tomorrow, as I have to go to Mavis for car service, to a vaccination center for a Covid booster shot, and then to the cable store.  And after all of this, I go to see MWL!  

- - - - - -

Why do I mention MWL right now?  Tonight, we were far from the same wave length when I wanted to talk about this problem.  She wasn't trying to over analyze the problem as TCL does.  But she was being fatalistic in ways that bother me.  (I'm having a hard time trying to describe her "ethnic" style of communication, but it's a style that bothered me with Ex-GF-M.)  When I see her, I'll have to apologize for being a little testy when talking with her, as I was not in the best of moods....

 

It's good to hear from people....

 

Today, I received an email from my friend in Florida.  His messages make it appear as if he's recovering many of the mental processes which were damaged by his aneurysm. Hopefully, he'll be in shape to have a visitor sometime next year.

In his email, he reminded me of what happened 11 years ago to this week.  The two of us spent the evening together talking about many things, knowing that this evening would be the last time he would talk with his wife.  She was a good woman, but suffered with the same type of cancer that took my wife's life.  And I know that he misses the things that could have been had she lived.

Does he know that I'm trans?  No.  I won't tell him until I'm at that point where I want to give up on living as Mario forever.  Yet, I wish I could see him on my single day that I'll be in a Florida port.  Maybe on my next visit to that state....

- - - - - -

When I got home, I found out that the cable company didn't process a payment I made to them a couple of weeks ago.  So I spent the better part of an hour talking with someone with minimal result.  The person told me to send them my documentation of payment via fax (who uses faxes anymore?) and I said that I had no access to a fax machine.  Then the person said that I could go to one of their stores.  One problem - only one of them is open on a Saturday.  AARGH!   Luckily, I will be passing by the place on the way to see MWL that day.  Hopefully, they will be open after I'm done with car service at Mavis.

Still thinking of a bucket list cruise.

 

Two years ago, I could have gotten last minute deal on a balcony cabin for the above Thanksgiving time cruise for roughly $1,300 excluding taxes and port fees. (They dropped the single supplement a few days before sailing.  Otherwise, the cabin would have sold for $2,600.)  Today, a similar cruise would set me back roughly $8,000.  What's the difference?  Pent up demand for cruising combined with limited availability of cabins has made this cruise unaffordable for many. 

Two years ago, I posted an entry about cruises I considered taking.  Ships are not being repositioned in a way one can predict from year to year. In the past, you might find ships that did the West Coast Alaska run now doing a Mexico run.  Sometimes, ships would be repositioned through the Panama Canal, so that they can do a Caribbean run in the Winter.  (The reverse run would take place in the Spring, preparing for the yearly Alaska cruising season.)  Now, due to the pandemic, cruise lines are moving ships to regions where they can make the most money with limited capacity.  Before the pandemic, one could easily find cruises that did a full transit of the canal.  Today, many more ships do only a partial transit - and people seem happy with that.

When the time comes, I will make sure that I have a nice one piece bathing suit ready to go for a trip to the sun.  I can't wait to be at pool side on either a Hawaii or Panama Canal run.... 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Casual readers of this blog will notice that I am not going to as many meetups as I used to in the past.  There are two reasons for this.  First is the problems I had last year.  The groups I was able to attend have either disbanded, or simply stopped meeting.  Second is that I'm simply too tired to go out for the sake of going out.     

When I look at my schedule, I find that I do not have enough hours in the day to keep up with the social demands on my life. There are people I want to keep up with that I haven't been able to do so.  They are available to meet, but not at times I am available - and vice versa.  

Dating is another wrinkle.  I'm getting tired of "swiping right" and then having conversations peter out before we get to a phone call stage or meeting for coffee.  No, I am not stretching things out too far.  I might be seen as a viable but 2nd/3rd choice candidate.  I have to find the time and energy to keep up my efforts in this area, but it's not that easy.

- - - - - -

All work and no play may be making Marian a very boring girl.  Before I took my current job, I could easily find the time to read books.  Today, I am way too tired to do this.  I can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library and finished it before it was past due.  I'm at the stage where I'm considering buying a few books, simply to have them available to read without having to wait for their availability via the library system.

- - - - - -

Luckily, my health hasn't failed me yet.  But I have to be careful, given my age and current risk factors....

 

 

All Circuits Are Busy

 

Tonight, I wanted to make a simple electronic to a vendor and ask some questions.  Unfortunately, each time I tried to place a call via my cell phone, I received a message instructing me to try placing the call later because all circuits were busy.  Luckily, I had more than one way to contact this vendor, and was able to reach him via the internet.

Over time, we have learned to place our faith in technology and assume that it will work for us when we need it.  This is not always the case.  Until Verizon was unable to deal with a strange noise on my landline, I was happy to continue using their "Twisted Pair" wiring to make landline phone calls.  Now, for a phone I rarely use anymore, I use a "Triple Play" service offered by my cable company. However, this phone is still the one way old time contacts know how to call me, so I keep it in service just to monitor the messages (mostly spam) left on the recorder.

For reasons that are no longer valid, I have two cell phones with two different numbers on two different networks.  When one network fails me, I can still make calls using the other phone.  Yes, it's a "Belt and Suspenders" approach, but it's one that may be needed as technology becomes more complex.

- - - - - -

Recently, I've been researching how to automate the monitoring of Cruise Prices, so that I can get the lowest possible price.  There are sites for airfares and hotel rooms that I've used in the past.  But none really do the job well for cruises.  I discussed this recently with a travel agent (the same one I couldn't reach in the first part of this entry), and he suggested that I book a cruise now to get the maximum fare I was willing to pay for a cruise, but then call to rebook at a lower price when the price eventually drops - his agency would help me get that fare if it was not a "new bookings only" price.  I will keep this in mind when planning my Hawaii cruise, as I don't want to spend more on a cruise than I would have spent before the pandemic hit.

There are three Hawaii cruises I discussed with this gentleman.  The first was the 10 day cruise tour offered by Norwegian. Second was an 18 day cruise out of San Diego on Holland American.  Third was a repositioning cruise from Norwegian that starts in Vancouver, heads up to Alaska, then ends in Hawaii.  (He was trying to get me to consider other options that would result in less Hawaii time.)  Right now, my heart is telling me to take the first cruise and pay what it takes to enjoy the cruise.  Yet, there is a side of me that wants to get the most bang per buck - something that may have frustrated my former cruise partner.  Now that I have to depend on my nest egg for living expenses, I have to use it wisely to avoid running out of money in old age.

When I eventually take my Hawaii cruise, I want to take it as Marian.  And I intend to have the money to do it in the right way....

Torn between two desires

There's a part of me that enjoys going to work and getting a paycheck.  And there's another part of me that rebels against getting up at 6 am.  I don't know which side of me will win out.  But I will be relieved when I don't have to wake up at 6 am, but will need to find a part time gig to give me a reason to get up in the morning.

- - - - - -

The other day, I went to the doctor.  Then, he made his usual speech about me becoming more active and losing weight.  I mentioned that it is easier said than done, when the job I have sucks out almost all the energy I have to be active and that it screws up my natural eating patterns in a way that I actually end up eating more than I would have otherwise.  Further along in the discussion, he discussed a potential prescription change with me - and we put it off until my next visit.

I'm pretty sure that I would be in better shape (in many ways) if I no longer had this job.  But it's nice to have enough money coming in that I don't have to raid my savings.  Given the choice of having more time in my life vs. having enough money to avoid draining savings, I am finding it hard to make a definite decision.  I can easily go in either direction.

- - - - - -

I turn 66 1/2 in a little over 2 years.  Do I want to start collecting Social Security earlier than planned, and get a reduced benefit?  If so, I will lose money if I live as long a life as my father did.  Could I start draining my 401k?  I could do that, but I still want my money to grow and outlast me.  I can't say that would happen if I start regular withdrawals now.  These are the questions that many people of my age have to ask.  And there are no right answers, as we do not know how long we will live.  Nor, do we know how healthy we will be when we get to a certain age.

You'll note that I haven't mentioned anything about being transgender.  Until I go on hormones, it is a non issue in the multi-variable equation.  So I'll base my decisions on how long my father lived, and hope that this gives me a good idea of what I need to plan for in the future.

 

A long drive with Vicki

Olana - A place I wanted to visit again with my niece in tow (before Covid-19) and a place I wanted to visit with Vicki after an "Upstate" meetup.  Unfortunately, my intentions keep getting thwarted for different reasons.

- - - - - -

When the day opened, Vicki and I were scheduled to attend a meetup in Woodstock, NY.  Afterwards, we planned to stroll around the town.  It took us a while to find the group, as it was enjoying things at the restaurant's garden area, and we first thought to only look inside the building.  Eventually, we found the group, and ordered our lunch. Conversation was good, especially with a new member of the group. Vicki was so relaxed, that she made verbal slips regarding my gender.  So I made things easier for her and this new person by identifying myself as Trans.  No negative comment from our new friend. We then exchanged phone numbers with this new member, and then broke away from the group as it started to drizzle.

I suggested that we drive up to Olana and take a tour of the mansion.  Unfortunately, the weather only got worse, and it didn't make sense to tour the building.  So, we headed south, and had another bite to eat in Rhinebeck.  It was a nice drive with a good friend who knows me in both of my modes.

- - - - - -

Later on, I chatted with the woman I saw a couple of weeks ago, and had a long chat.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get together again soon.  And then, I chatted with MWL for a while.  

Sooner or later, I may need a day off to take care of things I need to do on my days off.... 

 

 

 

 

 

Looks like a last meetup for a while

 

Years ago, Peter and Gordon sang about "A World Without Love."  It was a great tune penned by two great artists you might have heard of: Lennon and McCartney.  As I write this, tomorrow will likely be the last day that I attend a specific meetup.  I'll be glad that Vicki will be in tow, as we want to enjoy a good meal after hanging out at the HV Live Music Meetup.  (I have written about this meetup group before, so I won't bother talking about my history with the people in it now.)  It'll be a bittersweet thing for me, as I will miss getting together with the people there, but failed to develop the friendships I wanted there.

Lately, I've been going to fewer and fewer meetups, save for my Yonkers Gaming Group which is no longer on Meetup.com.  This is just as well, as I am feeling much more exhausted from this job I'm in than any job I've had before. I don't have as much need to present myself as Marian.  Instead, I simply have a need to be me - no matter how I present myself at the time.  

- - - - - -

The other day, I received another post from my acquaintance in Philadelphia, and forwarded it to a former friend.  She's been silent as of late, and this is much better than the last time we communicated with each other.  Every so often, I look for a response from her in a specific email account that I know I will never receive.  I hope to be able to see this acquaintance soon,  as I don't expect her to be around at this time next year.  (Hopefully, I'll be proven very wrong in the future.)  To do so, I may have to wrap a day or two around a 3 day weekend to do so, as I would also want to take the train to DC to see another acquaintance or two.

Once I leave my current job, I will be free to travel as much as I'd like.  However, I have to make sure that I have enough income coming in to afford my travels.  There is a bucket list trip or two that I plan to take in the next 2 years, and this means both time and money.  Ideally, I'll be able to work part time as needed.  But as I get older, the less I want to do so. Instead, the older I get, the more I want to get on a cruise ship and relax.  Hopefully, I will make new friends when I do so, unlike the last time I cruised....

 

 

It's kind of fitting that I'm watching this movie

I am more interested in the history of baseball than of watching the game itself.  The sport reflects all which is good and bad about America in its history.  And it's fitting that I'm watching the movie 61* at the end of a 162 game season, 60 years after Roger Maris broke Babe Ruth's home run record.

- - - - - -

Today was an interesting day.  I started it out with a visit to my doctor.  As usual, he hectored me about losing weight, when it should have been to get more active.  But that's another story for another day. Once done with him, I had a quick breakfast sandwich, then changed into Marian Mode to go to work.

As usual, I had to fight off the urge to nod out at my desk. But this time, I knew the cause - there was way too much blood in my caffeine stream, and I knew I needed a cup of coffee at the earliest chance. Once this was taken care of, it would be smooth sailing to the end of the day.

Something I usually do during each day is to write a list of things that need to be taken care of.   Almost always, there are things on my to-do list that never seem to get done - such as cleaning my apartment. But one thing of note is coming to mind again.  I need to flesh out one part of my feminine wardrobe.  In the winter, women tend to wear more utilitarian clothing, and that includes denim jeans.  I need to do the same, and yet I still need to look as feminine as reasonably possible.  So, while taking care of business, I let my mind wander to figure out what clothing I need to buy.

Later on, I got a text from Vicki telling me that her cell phone died, and that she is also having to recover apps to her new phone.  Although she was having thoughts about it, she decided to restore Facebook - something I consider a big time suck.  (She barely uses it, but her friends do.  So it was worthy of consider installing on her new phone.)  It took a while, but she eventually was able to do so. At this point, I told her about my clothing "dilemma" and she came up with ideas similar to what I had - getting jean like garments (read: "Jeggings") to be worn under some of my tunics.  Then, I should consider adding more basic tunics and long sweaters to the wardrobe.  Yes, I'll have to set a budget for these garments, but I should do so in order to blend in with the other women I encounter on a regular basis.

- - - - - -

By the time this entry is made public, the baseball season will have ended.  If I'm right, the wild card playoff will have taken place and the divisional series in each league should have started.  This is a far cry from what baseball's post season looked like in 1961.  I wish we could turn back the clock 60 years, so we could see baseball before it got (more) corrupted by the use of "Juice" (Steroids).  Roger Maris will always have my respect unlike other home record holders, as he was the last to break a Ruthian record before the game tolerated "Juicing" to put fans in the seats....
 

 

Standardization - Should it be imposed by government?

In America, our choice of data/power connector has been made for us by the manufacturers of our electronic products.  If one is an Apple customer, one uses the connector on the right.  If on Android, one uses the connector on the left.  Does this make sense?  Shouldn't all products play nice in the sandbox?

- - - - - -

I started off with the Apple vs. Android dispute, as it goes much deeper than one would think.  Most Android products can talk with each other.  My cell phone can be tethered to an Android tablet without problems.  The same can be said about Apple phones and tablets.  But Apple makes sure, at almost every point, that its products do not interface well with the other products' ecosystems.  There is no reason that I can't tether my iPad to a Samsung cell phone via Bluetooth or Wi_Fi connections.  Yet, this is so.

Several weeks ago, one of my friends asked me to figure out a problem.  She had a non-Apple laptop and an Apple phone, and couldn't get tethering to work, so that she could submit her final project.  So I allowed her to tether her laptop to my phone, and she was able to submit the project on time.  This is not a good thing.  Wi-Fil to Wi-Fi connections and Bluetooth to Bluetooth connections are simple.  Yet, Apple makes "security" excuses for why this can't be done.  This is bullshit to the average person.  And it is starting to be so for regulators as well.

Europeans are getting tired of the E-Waste being generated for its electronics.  They would like to have a simple wiring standard that can be used on all common electronic devices, and they want to standardize on USB-C.  Apple is strongly against, this, as this is the first step towards making Apple play nice in the sandbox and acting like all other electronics manufacturers.  Europe wants people to make "Oranges to Oranges" comparisons between products, and not force people to choose between one manufacturer's ecosystem vs. another manufacturer's (or group) ecosystem.

- - - - - -

About 160 years ago, the United States had no standards for simple things such as screw threads.  This caused us a lot of grief when we started mass production of manufactured foods.  We needed to standardize specifications for most of the basic products, such as screw threads.  How thick they had to be, what angle did they wrap around the screw, and how much distance between the threads had to be included in this standard.  Standardizing screws, nuts, bolts, was only one part of the problem.  Even the screw heads had to be standardized.  In America, we have the flat head and Phillips screwdrivers.  But in Canada, they have one more variety - the Richardson head.  (I think this to be a superior design to the Phillips head, but I won't go into it here.)  Standardization has forced American manufacturers to compete on both quality and price, and has allowed us a greater variety of product providers had standardization not been mandated.

Yet, there is value to competing standards - for a while.  Does anyone remember VHS vs. Beta?  Although Sony's product was technically the better product, it failed in the marketplace.  Video Tape Recorder manufacturers standardized on VHS before the product itself (the VCR) became obsolete. Competition doesn't always mean that the best product will survive.  It means that a product at a decent value/price point will survive.  But what happens when the market stabilizes with two standards.  Does this benefit the consumer?

- - - - - -

For me, the jury is out.  I own both Apple and Android products, and prefer my Android products.  Although I use an iPad, it is not my favorite device.  I would prefer to buy a new Samsung tablet if I could get one with connectivity to the 4g/5g cell phone networks.  Yes, there are drawbacks to this approach.  Most manufacturers of Android products do not maintain them for as long as Apple does for its products.  So in a way, it seems like we have a modern day equivalent of a Coke vs Pepsi Taste Challenge. As for me, I'll "Make Mine Moxie!"

 

Sometimes, a gig will typecast you

 

Truth Justice and "the American Way."  Sounds great, doesn't it?  Well, the man above was typecast as "Superman" and couldn't get another good role in Hollywood after the show stopped filming.  Why is this a lesson to be remembered?

- - - - - -

Recently, I decided to contact an old friend who I've stayed away from because of his politics.  He was starting to go off the rails when I last was in contact with him, and what he mentioned about his vaccination status implied that he drank some, but not all, of the Kool-Aid that his political tribe is drinking.  

But I digress....

This fellow was the person who inspired me to enroll in my Masters program and get a degree in Education.  The idea was that by getting a foot in the door, I could get a tenured position in some school.  I quickly found out that there were no jobs available for people like me with this certification.  Yet, I found the degree to be the greatest investment in myself that I could have made.  No, it did not do anything to help me find work.  Instead, it helped me find in myself what I could be (or could have been) when properly motivated and mentored.

Although I was able to stay in the computer field for 3 years after getting my degree, my friend has been out of anything related to technology for years.  For him, the past 13 years or so have been a series of substitute teaching gigs broken up by some long term (a little less than a school year) teacher replacement positions. This is not the life I wanted to lead.  But I wonder, could he be overqualified to find work?  And, has he been taking too many short term gigs, instead of finding available work in a New York City public school as a starter position?

My acquaintance has 2 certifications - courses in both of his specialty areas are required for students to graduate with a "Regents Degree".  But this hasn't gotten him the job he wanted.  So I wondered, has he been subbing too long?  So, I started to think about an unrelated field - acting.  His experience reminded me of people who try to break into acting by starting out as extras.  They get an idea of what acting is like by being on a set, putting up with a lot of the headaches of filming a show, and building up a starter set of professional experiences.  Yet, one can only be an extra so many times before people stop taking your desire to be professional actor as a serious desire.  Could this have happened to him?

- - - - - -

Years ago, I decided to stop fighting to stay in the technology fields, as I had too much to catch up on, and I'd be out of the field way too long.  Three years after I left the bank, I gave up on the idea of being a project manager - and this made things easier for me to move forward with my life.  I wonder what would have happened if the man pictured at the top of this entry had made plans, as Lyle Waggoner did, to have a career after acting.  And I wonder what would have happened if my friend has a plan B to be used if teaching didn't work out....

 

 

Just another brick in the wall....

 

Have you ever had your phone turn into a brick?  I have, and it's not fun.

- - - - - -

I have been looking at new cell phones for a while, and have been dickering about whether I should buy a new one or not.  Well, that decision was made for me at 3:30 this morning.  My phone changed from being something useful to being a brick.

You might be asking, "How did I know that the phone was a brick?"  I wasn't sure at first myself.  When I woke up this morning, I thought it was 3:30 am based on the display of my phone.  When I looked at my watch, it said 6:45.  I thought that the watch was set poorly until I looked at the cable box. Then it dawned on me - the phone got stuck, and my alarms didn't ring.

At this point, I made the decision NOT to go to work and called in sick when I knew I wouldn't be waking up my boss.  And then, I tried to reboot the phone.  No luck.  I now had the first boot screen flashing on the display, with the phone boot up process stuck in an endless loop.  Now it was time to try a factory reset.  I couldn't even do that.  My phone was officially a brick!

- - - - - -

Now that my phone was now a worthless piece of electronic waste, I knew that this was going to be a Mario Mode day.  I would need to present myself as Mario, just in case my legal identity needed to be verified.  And I didn't want any headaches from people serving me today.  So off went the idea of putting on a tunic and leggings, and on went the idea of wearing a long sleeved shirt and trousers. And off I went to Best Buy to see what phones they had in stock.

In chatting with the salesperson at Best Buy, he had a slight preference for Samsung phones over Motorola, noting that he had heard of this type of Bricking Problem before.  Yet, he recognized that the Motorola phones provided excellent value and run close to stock Android.  Given that I wanted as much memory as possible AND wanted a phone I knew would be upgraded to Android 12, I chose the Motorola phone.  If he had more negative things to say about Motorola, I'd have gone with Samsung and dealt with their needless Android skin mods and their dumb Bixby button.

- - - - - -

When I finally got home, I started the process of taking the SIM and Micro SD card out of the old phone and installing them in the new phone.  Although I have a wealth of SIM removal pins, I didn't have one as long as needed to eject the new phone's card tray.  I was very lucky to make sure that I saved all materials for the phone, as I found this pin and used it.  After that, the restoration of apps to the new phone was easy.  Everything had been backed up, and all I had to do was log on to my Google account and start the process of reloading apps from the Google Play store.

As much as I like the new phone, it still seems a little foreign to me.  Until I have a new case that isn't that slippery, I'll have to be very careful when the phone is out of my purse or my pocket.

 

 

Cruise prices don't always make sense.

 

Just for fun, I decided to price out a repositioning cruise on NCL to start in a month from the time this entry is made public. Although I have no interest in taking this particular cruise, it illustrates the irrationality of some prices available to the potential cruiser.

You'll note that all prices are for solo cruisers.  I have sailed (or will have sailed) in every category save for the Studio, the Spa, and the Haven.  If pricing for this cruise was completely rational, the Studio cabin wouldn't be priced as high as it is.  From what I can tell, it is a smaller version of an inside cabin with access to a "Studio Only" travel area.  (Singles can mix here.)  So, why is it priced more than the Inside cabin, the Oceanview cabin, and a Balcony cabin.  It costs almost as much as the Club Balcony Suite.  If I were taking this particular cruise, I'd spend the extra $124 and get almost 3 times the room to spread out AND have a balcony of my own.

Once one decides to go above the Club Balcony Suite level, prices start going into the stratosphere.  I can only imagine how much money I'd want in my bank account before I'd even consider a room in the Haven.  (When a suite there has more room than my apartment, the Haven is geared to people who have lots of money to burn.)  I've met people who have cruised in both the Spa and the Haven suites, and they loved them. For me, I'll wait for the excuse to take a very special trip and then drop the coin to make it special for me and a potential partner.

With certain exceptions, you usually get what you pay for.  Sometimes you get more.  And sometimes, you get less.   Before the pandemic struck, I found a Repositioning / Panama Canal cruise that I could have taken for $1000 - 21 days, New York to Seattle. Unfortunately, that cruise had to be cancelled on account of the pandemic. Later in the year, there was a 11 day Hawaii Cruise Tour (effectively 10 days of activities) that I could have taken for half the price the same package sells for today.  This, too, was cancelled because of the pandemic.  An ex girlfriend of many years ago was very sad about this, as she was looking to take this cruise with 3 of her girlfriends.  (I could only imagine what would have happened if we bumped into each other on the cruise.)

- - - - - -

I have been tracking the price of another cruise I've been interested in as it gets closer to sail date.  If I'm right, the price will drop another $50/stateroom class one or two more times before the ship sails.  However, I wouldn't want to risk losing this deal at this point - so I'll be buying my tickets soon....

 

 

I may have found a unicorn.

 

The above is the itinerary for a cruise out of New York scheduled for the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  If I felt comfortable taking this cruise, I'd jump on it.  It is one of two cruises I've found lately that offer an excellent price/value combination - unicorns, as they are known by many.  However, I did not feel comfortable taking this cruise at this time, as several of these ports are on the CDC's list of Covid-19 high risk destinations.

With the exception of the Dominican Republic, almost all the islands are at a level 4 warning.  This means that the CDC is advising people NOT to travel to these places.  Of course, the CDC is reasonably honest here, as they place the USA in a level 4 category.  It is safer to travel to Canada (a level 3 country) than to travel to Puerto Rico.  So does taking this trip make sense?

 

Although this is the first cruise that I've found that has no single supplement, is it a unicorn? Right now, I'd feel comfortable getting off the ship in only three of the ports as Marian. But I don't think I'd feel safe from Covid-19 until I get my booster shot.  So I don't think this is the best unicorn to chase.

 

 

Friendship.

 

Friend, n: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection

Levels of friendship:

1. A friend will help you. 
2. A good friend will help you move.
3. A very good friend will help you move and dispose of a body.

Hopefully, none of my readers will have friends at the third level, unless they work in a hospital or mortuary.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I can easily say that I've had a handful of friends in the second category.  And I'm pretty sure that at least one of them might have upgraded themselves to the third category if the need arose. (This potentially gives a whole new meaning to having a "Skeleton in the closet." 😁 )  But as we get older, it gets harder to find a level 1 friend, much less a level 2 friend.  I think this truth is behind the growth of meetup.com - most of us crave human connections, and we will do almost anything to get them.

Sometimes, people will battle over friendships.  Other times, people collect friendships the way others collect stamps.  I've seen people do unethical things when friendships go sour.  But I won't dwell on that now.  Instead, I'll focus on the power of friendships.

One thing I learned by being widowed, was that the one person I could lean on to cope with a situation was no longer there to help me in my time of need.  Good friendships can end with that same problem. Some people are lucky enough to have more than one good friend to lean on in times like these.  And yet, when I look at MWL, she still is affected by the loss of some of her friends in her age group.  (No, I'm not going into any details about her here.  I'm just making a quick comment on how the loss of friends can affect a person.) 

For many of us, we lean on our friends as much as we lean on our families.  They help us out in times of need.  They listen to us when we need to process our feelings.  And they provide targets for us to show our compassion for others.  In the case of many of us transgender folk, we often bond with other transgender folk, as we are the only people who understand what we are going through.  I consider myself lucky to have been able to keep most of my friendships so far, as well as keeping on good terms with my relatives.  This may have been the biggest miracle of all....

Need for new word in language

 

 

The other day, I was in contact with someone who said that I always seemed to have all the answers.  Yet, due to disputes I've had with people (and others with me), I realize that we need a new word in the English language.,

- - - - - -

Years ago, I used to be a frequent viewer of the "Jerry Springer" show, and others like it.  All of the shows started to seem the same over time. People would get into arguments.  Some people had cause to be upset, and others had cause to be on the defense.  When people were called on to justify their positions, they could not communicate a good reason for their position.  They were giving up the fight, but not ceding the point that the other person had some justification for his/her actions.  Often, it was a woman who said "Whatever!" in a voice indicative of an animal skulking away with its tail between its legs. 

As an adult, I find that so many people are not able to articulate their positions well.  And they tend to get run over by people with better communication skills.  Yet, most people would never use the phrase "whatever" to express the same feeling expressed by Springer show guests.  Do you have any words that would sound respectable in "middle class" speech that express this type of defeat?  Please let me know if you know of any....

 

Abuses of a law.

 

A while back, my co-op fought a losing battle with HUD regarding Emotional Support Animals (ESAs).  The way the law was being enforced, small "No-Pet" apartment complexes were victimized by people claiming their pets were support animals.  HUD even suggested that people allergic to dogs owning their apartments in co-op and condo complexes be moved to accommodate the needs of the person "needing" the support animal.  This is ludicrous, but it's the way the law functioned.  Since then, major airlines have banned many of these ESAs, as no one wanted to be near geese, miniature horses, etc. while on a plane.  But nothing has been done for co-ops and condos which do not allow pets for the health of ALL of their residents.

The following site mentions how to certify an emotional support dog: How to certify an Emotional Support Dog.  Although the site implies respectability for ESA certification, even they recognize that a mental health professional should be one providing an ESA letter. And here's where the fun starts.  How many people are going to do the research to prove that a mental health professional has had the person in therapy for a reasonable amount of time to justify writing the ESA letter.  When I dealt with HUD, the bureaucrat effectively admitted that there were few rules governing these letters.  Years later, I found that these letters were easily available online for a few minutes of on-line "consultation: and a fee of less that $100.

As much as I'd like to talk about current co-op affairs, I can not do so.  Yet, I can mention that HUD told us that we can't even require that the dog's owner identify the dog as a service animal because the "handicapped" person (my words, not that of law) could be discriminated against.  But what about the other people in an apartment complex?  Does this person's needs override others' property rights?  What about others' health needs?  Once people start seeing animals in the hallways, they will act as if pets are allowed.  And then, a No-Pet residential complex is opened up to pets via the back door.

- - - - - -

Years ago, I mentioned this situation to someone I know.  And she started making lots of noises in support of the animal owner.  (She fed raccoons on her porch.  Go figure.)  But shouldn't the rights of people who choose NOT to live with animals be respected?   Even in this group, most will support legitimate service animals for other residents.  One woman I dated is an epileptic who could die if she were to have an episode in her sleep.  Her service animal is able to sense an oncoming event early enough for her to wake up and take her medicines.  This is the type of animal I'm comfortable with in my complex, not the pet with another name....

 

I may have a new cruise partner

 

This will be a short entry.  Last night, as I was booking my next cruise, a friend of mine was impressed that I was going on a cruise this winter.  She expressed an interest in coming with me on a future cruise if it is on her bucket list of places to visit.

When I used to sail with my former cruise partner (FCP), I'd often read my books (or watch TV) in the evening while she did other things.  Often, we'd see each other for dinner, then go our separate ways  And that was fine with me, as I needed to unwind more than I needed companionship.  Now that we are no longer on speaking terms with each other, I realized that sooner or later I might want to find a new cruise partner. And this one sorta fell into my lap.

Although this new woman is a former love interest, we'd travel only as friends and nothing more.  There is no drama in her life, nor is there a need for her to be the center of attention when with people.  Instead, she's very low key and doesn't have that many issues to deal with.  This is perfect for someone that one travels with, as there will be many unexpected hitches during a trip that could cause rifts between two friends.

I am lucky to have this woman as a friend.  It's too bad that things didn't work out romantically for us.

PS: I wonder why the former cruise partner still reads this blog, if I'm no longer a friend....

Sometimes, I have nothing to say.

 

Recently, someone commented that all I wanted to do was write about the lives of others in this blog?  Do you believe this to be true?

Lately, when I'm stumped for things to write about, I look at the television and can always find something I care about.  And today is no exception.  But this doesn't always give me a topic to write about.  So I dig into the dumpster of life and talk about people from my past.   Again, today is no exception....

- - - - - -

Years ago, I was turned on to shooting sports by a friend who helped me get my first firearm.  Although I haven't used it in years, I still have respect for a right wing argument that leaves guns in private hands.  I see that private ownership of firearms can force a government to respect a ballot box.  But what happens when one side unilaterally disarms?  Can they protect their rights in a pinch?  To me, the answer is no.  If our cultural war becomes a hot war, what will happen if people on the right go nuts?  Will anyone from areas populated by "the left" be able to protect the community?  I doubt it.

So I'm making an argument that the American left should give up its anti gun rhetoric, and change it to gun regulation based on population density.  People in high population density areas (such as the NYC Tristate region) may have to live with more onerous gun regulations than people in South Dakota.  Risk of gun crime may need to be accepted as a price that must be paid to preserve the freedoms that the left has brought us over the years.  One way of mitigating this risk may be the development of "regulated" (practiced/trained) militias under the guidance of the state.  Many people demanding gun rights are only saying "Look at me.  I'm important!"  in a childish way.  With training, I expect that more people will respect what a firearm can and can't do.

What do you think on this topic?  Can we maintain peace by arming the public on both sides of a cultural war?  (I like "Mexican Standoffs."  But many people fear them.)

In and out within 60 minutes.

 

DENTIST

-n.

A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

- - - - - -

The above definition comes from Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary."  Unlike most people, I am comfortable investing in my teeth.  My mouth may be the one area of my body that is in very good shape.  But then, I pay enough for the privilege of having good teeth. 

Two months ago, I made an appointment to have a failing filling replaced.  Lately, I've been going to the dentist as Marian, and have never had any problems with it.  Today, I was so comfortable, that after the filling was replaced, that I slipped out of Marian's voice and used Mario's voice.  Luckily, I feel comfortable with this dentist in both modes, and will go to my appointments in the way I'm dressed for the day.

Since I knew that it would run me $500 to get the work done on my tooth, I figured that I'd use a new credit card and qualify for a rebate.  Now that I've broken the $500 floor of charges made in 3 months, I should get a $200 credit sent to me sometime in the future.  Although I took a 2 point to my credit score, I don't expect that this will affect me that much.

Right now, I'm expecting a temporary cash flow shortfall.  No, I can pay all of my debts with money from any one of my bank accounts with some to spare.  Instead, I've simply needed to use plastic to take advantage of some very good deals which will benefit me in the long term.

 

I was supposed to go out to dinner but....

I was supposed to go out for dinner today.  Sadly, my friend called to tell me that her dog was very sick, and that she was bringing it to a 24x7 animal hospital.  So our dinner date was cancelled.  Even sadder, the dog had to be put to sleep. If I could have known this was going to happen around 10 am, I'd have gotten showered and dressed, then go into NYC to visit MoMA.  I guess that I'll be doing this next weekend.

Years ago, I had to put a cat to sleep.  Although I wasn't attached to the cat, this was the right thing to do.  It's even harder to put an animal down when one is attached to that animal.  This is one of the reasons why I might never own an animal again.  I don't want the responsibility of looking out for the best interest of an animal again.

Instead of going out for dinner, I ended up chatting with TCL, then going to Stew Leonard's to pick up my lunches for the week.  If I had a feminine face (without makeup on), I'd have dressed as Marian.  However, getting dressed as Mario made it possible for me to get out the door on time to have a leisurely walk through the store.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to do my laundry for the week, so I'll have to take care of that when I get home tomorrow.

What a bland and boring day....