If we only could have known what the day would bring.

 

As I write this, RQS is being admitted into the hospital for complications related to her potassium levels. You can only imagine how I felt when I heard the news.  But first....

- - - - - -

Today started out being a very nice day.  The sun was out, and we had a nice walk to my car before dropping her off at the local subway station.  I went on my way home, and she went on her way to the doctor's office to get some blood work done.  By the time I got home and started to relax, I got a call from RQS.  And this is when the day soured.

RQS told me that the doctors were holding her for a second test.  And again, her potassium levels were high enough to send her to the emergency room.  Now, I started to get worried for two reasons.  First, I want RQS to be around for a quite a few years, so any illness worries me.  Second, we had reservations for a Thanksgiving dinner that might have to be cancelled.  Too bad that I couldn't have stayed on Long Island and returned to a parking spot near her house, so that I could pick up stuff and deliver it to her.

Later in the evening, RQS sent me a message that she was being admitted to the hospital.  This meant that I'd have to be ready to bring her a change of clothes, a cell phone charger, some books, and other things that I can't remember at the moment.  Hopefully, she'll only need the change of clothes to go home when I see her.

- - - - - -

You can only guess how hectic my day is going to be tomorrow....

The only reason we left the house was to move the car.

 

RQS lives on a street with Alternate Side of the Street parking.  When I arrived on Friday, I parked on the wrong side of the street for short term convenience, knowing that I'd have to move my car again if I wanted to stay over until Monday morning.  Well, Sunday came, and I planned to stay over.

Around 3:30 pm, we went out to move the car.  It was in front of the building next door, and I had to move it to an opposite side of the street.  (Her side is no parking on Monday/Thursday mornings, while the other side is no parking on Tuesday/Friday mornings.)  We got very lucky.  There was a good open spot right around the corner.  So, I parked there before we headed to the supermarket.

The area of Queens we were in borders Brooklyn, and this is one of many neighborhoods in NYC where per-consolidation street grids clash.  The bus route that RQS takes to the subway was established when trolleys ran between Brooklyn and Queens, and had to be changed slightly when some awkward intersections were taken off the street grid.  As a result, the main bus route that takes us to a key subway station makes a strange zig-zag before it crosses Myrtle Avenue.  For us, we didn't need to do the zig-zag, as we could walk along the path the road once took and cross Myrtle Avenue without problems, on our way to the supermarket.

The Ridgewood, Glendale and Bushwick neighborhoods are undergoing ethnic change.  Gone are the days when both Ridgewood and Glendale were German neighborhoods, although some traces of this still remain in a few stores which were founded during that era.  Now, the Spanish speaking community has moved into some of the blocks while others are being gentrified.  Gone are the days when one could rent a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2,000.  Given the going rate in RQS's area, I don't know how any newcomers can afford to live there.  But I digress.

We reached the supermarket and picked up some things to have with our leftovers meal that evening.  We had a sweet tooth for Ice Cream Sandwiches, so we picked up some Klondike Cookies & Cream.  Then, we picked up an apple pie before walking back to RQS's place.  Sadly, neither of these items were to our liking.  We prefer Fat Boy's Ice Cream Sandwiches to Klondike's.  And the apple pie was best left forgotten, the brand never to be purchased again.

Were the leftovers good?  Yes.  Was it worth staying over an extra night?  Of course.  But, do I wish I found a spot on the right side of the street on Friday?  YES!!!!  Both of us would rather have stayed in bed until evening.  But if we had done so, I would have had to leave for home that night.

Lunch with RQS's friend.

RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

- - - - - -

The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)

Game Night w. "Short Vicki"

 

I had no energy today.  Although I woke up early for a bio-break, I got back under the covers until 11 am or so.  And then killed time until evening came.

But first....

My original plans were to take advantage of this gloomy day to do some laundry.  About the only productive task I took care of was to separate the laundry into two loads: Whites and Colors.  I simply didn't want to get dressed to do anything that would take me outside my apartment.

Eventually, 4 pm came around, and I received a message from Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki") suggesting that we get together for a "Paint and Sip" near her place.  I noted that I was going to my bi-weekly game night and volunteered to check if she could come along.  After checking with the hostess, I gave the thumbs up to Vicki, and then proceeded to get ready to leave the apartment.

It was raining when I left the apartment, and I was glad that I was wearing leggings under my dress. But I still had to eat.  So I decided to try out The Halal Guys in Yonkers.  This was a big mistake.  The food was not up to the same taste quality as the other Halal joint further up the road.  So I finished my plate and made a note NOT to go there again.

Although I got to game night a little before 8 pm, I wasn't late for any games.  The one game we played, I enjoyed, as it didn't require much brain power.  We chatted a bit after the game, and then we all left earlier than usual.  This was just as well, as I barely made it home in time for a much delayed bio-break.

At least, I knew my GI-Tract is working well....

We delivered bad news today

 

Now that it's public, I can talk about things a little more than I could in the past.  My co-op is going to have a significant maintenance hike, and none of us are happy about it.

- - - - - - -

As much as I wanted to go out as Marian today, it made much more sense to go out as Mario, as I had a special co-op board meeting open to shareholders.  We planned to prepare shareholders for next year's rate hike, and introduce the new management company to our shareholders.  Things changed a little, as the new company didn't attend the meeting - and I think the co-op's attorney was happy about that.  

The meeting started at 6 m, and our board's president informed us about what was going on, giving us the low down before the old site representative and our shareholders arrived. All too soon, people started arriving, and we couldn't speak openly any more.

Once everyone was in the room, the co-op president opened the meeting, telling the attending shareholders about the rate increase.  And then, the soon to be ex site manager took over, telling attendees the story about how we got into this mess. (I won't go into details here, but I'd say that what we were told is partly truth and partly fiction.)  After that, the floor was open to questions from the audience.

One shareholder stood out - he kept dropping the name of one politician as if that fellow could do things for us.  He can't.  Insurance companies are free to set commercial rates and only issue policies to firms that meet their underwriting criteria.  Others had more reasonable questions, and we responded with what we knew - we're waiting for our mortgage holder to approve this policy, so that the forced coverage policy we have can be dropped, saving us money.

I was glad that the meeting was over by 8 pm.  There is more that I have to talk about with the co-op president, but I won't go into that here.

The study is over, and I have received my compensation

 

How many of you have been in an MRI machine?  How many of you have been "perfectly healthy" when going into an MRI machine for a brain scan?

- - - - - - -

The official purpose of this study was to see how mental performance can be improved by playing games designed to exercise certain mental skill sets.  At the start of this study, I took a preliminary skills test, then drove to Queens to have my brain scanned.  

Going into an MRI requires that one's body be devoid of metals which could be dislodged by extreme magnetic fields.  So, I had to remove the studs from my ears beforehand, and then only wear a hospital gown when being slid into the machine.  Once one puts noise cancelling earmuffs on, one's head is locked into place.  Then one is slid into the machine, and the "fun"takes place for the next 15 minutes.  One can't scratch an itch, blow one's nose, or otherwise deal with minor discomforts while being bombarded by loud banging noises from outside.  Thank god that one must wear the earmuffs while in the MRI machine, as one would be deafened without them.

This took place 3 months ago, and I knew what to expect upon my return.  What I didn't expect is how I'd feel when coming out of the machine.   But I digress.  Around 12:45 pm, I left RQS's place and drove to the MRI center in Laurelton, Queens.  Arriving there at 1:30 pm, I walked across the street to get something to drink, and then entered the Radiation Center for my MRI.

After I filled out my paperwork, I went to relieve myself.  And this is where I started to sour on this day, as the sink was clogged and half filled with water.  Although I reported this to staff, it was not fixed by the time I left the place about 1 1/4 hours later.  When I was called for the MRI, I was told to get into a hospital gown - which wasn't there.  It took another 15 minutes to find some new gowns for me to wear. Only then, did I start to get ready to enter the MRI again.

About 10 minutes later, I was slid into the MRI machine and again bombarded with noise for 15 minutes.  This time, my time in the MRI felt like it was quicker than the first time around.  When I was slid out of the machine, I had a hard time sitting up without help, as I had no leverage to sit up properly.  Once in position, I was able to get off the table without help, but my balance was off - I stumbled like a drunk for a minute, and then was perfectly OK.  Weird!  

When I went out to the changing area, there was someone about to change into her hospital gown where my clothes were stored.  So I asked her to hold on for a minute while I fetched my clothes.  And then I got dressed to go home.  As I left the place for the last time, I felt a little sad - I was done with the study, but free to go.

An hour and a half later, I was home.  It'll be nice to use the compensation I received when I decide what to do with it....

I am sickened by petty politics

 

Sarah McBride.  The first transwoman elected to congress.  And the GOP scum is trying to make her life miserable by denying her the right to go to the women's room to relieve herself.  There is no end to the GOP's cruelty.

- - - - - -

Why do I bring up Sarah's name and not the name(s) of the human garbage who'd denied this woman a basic right?  The answer is simple.  The people elected to control DC for the next 2-4 years do not even deserve to be recognized as humans.  So why identify them by name, when they deserve only to be recognized as animals that squeal, bleat, and make noises which have little meaning for people with even a single iota of humanity.

As you can guess, I am angry.  There is nothing I can do about it, save to request that people in GOP districts write to their congress critters and tell them to squash this attempt to dehumanize trans people. I live in one of these districts, and will be writing my congress critter shortly.  Please do the same before this woman is victimized by her own "colleagues" for petty political reasons.

It was the end of a weekend, and a long search for a parking spot.

 

All too soon, Monday came and we had to drive down from Croton to RQS's place.  The storage area in my car had stuff from a prior weekend's visit to BJ's that had to get to her apartment.

- - - - - -

Neither of us wanted to get up early today.  But we knew that if we didn't get moving by noon - 1 pm, we'd never get the chance to both stop at Trader Joe's and find a good parking spot.  (Her area of NYC has alternate side of the street parking, and I didn't want to leave her at 7:45 am to avoid parking tickets.) Traffic moved fast, until we reached the bridges.  Both the Whitestone and Throggs Neck bridges were backed up due to lane closures, and it took us more time than usual to get into Queens from the Bronx.

Once in Queens, we had no trouble making it to Trader Joe's for a shopping run.  I picked up some candy for early Xmas gifts, while RQS stocked up on needed goods. Next, we were off to RQS's place where we stopped to unload my car and get stuff into her apartment. And then, the fun began.  When hunting for a parking spot, one has to zig-zag through the streets until an acceptable spot is found.  Today, I had to find a spot on the Westbound side of the street - and this took longer than expected.  First, I made my usual loop down the street for two blocks until I could reverse direction on an adjacent street and continue my search.  After completing most of the first loop through the neighborhood, we encountered a problem: Two ambulances blocked the street for an emergency call, when they had open space to park their vehicles.  I was pissed to say the least - especially when none of the personnel seemed in a hurry to do what they came to do.

After a few minutes, both the car behind me and I backed up, going the wrong way on a one way street, escaping the defacto dead end street.  We were lucky to have done so when we did, as there was a bus about to come up the street, and we would have been boxed in by it.  Yet, we escaped the blockage, and circled through the neighborhood until we found a spot 3 blocks away from RQS's place.

- - - - - -

After dinner, I had to sign on for a closing session for the study in which I participated.  While RQS kept busy in one room, I took the test to see how my skills may have improved via directed game play. I feel a little strange, as my part in this study is almost over.  Tomorrow will be my MRI in Queens, and then it's over. 

A trip to Uncasville

 

I wasn't planning on driving that much this weekend, but an invite from CCS got us out to Eastern Connecticut Saturday night.  Instead of sitting at home and wondering what to do, we drove to Mohegan Sun to meet my friends for dinner, followed by both Gladys Knight and the O'Jays in concert.

- - - - - -

RQS and I relaxed most of the morning, and realized that it was 12:30 pm before we got moving to get showered, dressed, and out the door. We had planned to leave Croton around 1:30 pm to have adequate slack time to reach Mohegan Sun with time to spare.  However, this was not the case.  We left 30 minutes later, and it took all of 2 1/2 hours to get there.  Luckily, we were not traveling in the opposite direction, as the Southbound traffic was jammed up throughout most of Connecticut.

Reaching the casino complex, I was impressed at how big it had become.  Years ago, I remember coming here when only the first of the casino wings was open.  The last time I was at the casino, the third wing was under construction.  This time, all four wings were open, and one could need a road map to find his/her way around.

Our friends were waiting for us at Pepe's pizza, and we proceeded to order our pies. 30 minutes later, they were ready, and we proceeded to feast and chat.  This would be the second time I met CCS's husband, and the first time RQS would meet CCS with her husband.  CCS had mentioned my co-op's issues to her husband (he's a lawyer) and he gave me some information I can pass on to our board's president.

Around 7 pm, we walked over to the casino's theater.  CCS and her husband received 4 free tickets to the performance as perks for their gambling efforts.  I have no idea how much they gamble, but they get free rooms at the casinos as perks, and other goodies as well.  But we consider myself fortunate to be there as their guests for this show.

Gladys Knight came on first.  For a woman in her 80's, she still puts on a good show. However, one can see that age has taken its toll on her body, as she used assistance in getting on and off stage.  After 45 minutes, her set ended, and we had 30 minutes to wait until the O'Jays came on.  By this time, I should have stretched my legs and gone to the women's room.  But no, this T-Gal stayed in her seat, allowing her legs to start aching.

Next were the O'Jays.  One of the original singers had passed away, and this was noted by the group as part of their performance.  And then they got on with their music.  It was good, but not the music I remembered as a youth.  As expected, their closing number was "Love Train", and they did not fail to get the audience moving to the beat.

The show ended around 10 pm, and we relaxed in the theater waiting for the crowd to disperse.  Three of us had to rush to the ladies' room, and I was impressed by how clean it was - even after a show, when one would expect it to be a mess.  Then if was off to the pastry shop to have a bite to eat before we were to go home.  30 minutes later, we left CCS and her husband, and made a "donation" to the casino before finally leaving for home.

I said that we'd stop at the first service area on I-95 we reached.  While RQS was taking a bio-break, I could fill the car with gas.  This was not to be.  The gas station had turned off its pumps for its weekly refresh, and I wasn't in the mood to wait until 12:30 am to get gas.  So, it was off to the next service area - 15 minutes away.  And here is where I filled up and stretched my legs before driving another 100 miles to get home.

We reached home just before 2 am, and were exhausted.  It was a long day, and both of us were grateful for friendships old and new.

 

Dreams

 

For those of you who don't know me that well, I rarely dream when I sleep.  This could be due to an inability to go into deep sleep.  Or, it could be something else I've had for ages.  As long as I feel healthy, I don't care much, as a good sleep can be quite restful.

Years ago, I fell asleep on a train and felt that I was having a conversation with my late wife.  I felt wide awake and totally aware of my circumstances, and this dream made me feel quite good - until I asked one question: How could I be having this conversation when you passed away?  Then, POOF! she was gone.  

I've changed a lot over the years, and I can say that a lot of the time I've been a total jerk without realizing it.  Other times, I realized it after it was too late and couldn't stop.  And this leads to a dream I had recently.

Now for some background.

I met this couple at an AOL widows/widowers gathering about 26-27 years ago.  They eventually got married, and the gentleman adopted his wife's son.  This son has a visual impairment which will prevent him from ever driving.  As such, he will likely live near a big city for the rest of his life, due to transportation issues.  The day that the couple adopted their other son, their house caught on fire, and they were living in temporary digs for a year while their house was rebuilt.

At the time this was going on, I was dating Ex-GF-M, a woman who was morbidly obese. We planned to go to the couple's celebration of being able to return home, but I got the date and time wrong - but still arrived at the party late.  I didn't have the self esteem to simply leave my to be ex at the time - this is a big problem when a person has an unhealthy relationship glued together by a mutual addiction (food).  But I was aware of it, and was trying to get up the gumption to leave.

Well, I mentioned this to the couple (who were both obese as well), and was later cut off from being Facebook friends.   Could this be because I was a jerk in other ways without knowing it?  Could it have been because they saw my rejection of my then GF as an insult to them?  Who Knows?

Now to the present.

I have lost contact with this couple, and wouldn't mind being in loose contact again. The other night, I had a dream involving this couple.  They hadn't been on my mind for ages.  Could my subconscious be trying to tell me something?

So I wonder?  Should I try to reach out to this couple?  Should I address the elephant in the room from the past?  Again, who knows?  For all I know, it could be a signal that something bad has happened to them - but with no real evidence that this could be so.  Yet, I'd like to get some closure on the past.   And I'd like to apologize for being a jerk when I knew them.

Lunch with CCS (a quick post)

 

CCS and I got together for lunch today.  However, we changed the original location for lunch so that she could have more time for lunch, and still make an appointment near to the restaurant.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been waking up early and not falling back to sleep after a early morning Bio-break. As a result, I wasn't necessarily interested in getting out of bed or having lunch.  But I did so, and got to Briarcliff Manor at 12:30 - and still was there a minute or two late.

Lunch was good, as my Gyro had enough meat and salad stuff in it to be tasty.  I should have had the rice with the gyro, as there was too much greenery on the plate to enjoy properly.  We caught up on what was going on in each other's lives, and she had a pair of tickets to offer for two Motown acts performing at Mohegan Sun.  So, I contacted RQS afterwards, and she said yes to rescheduling things we had planned for the weekend.  (And I was looking forward to a German dinner at Zum Stammtisch.)

- - - - - -

After lunch, I called my doctors office to get a prescription renewal.  (I'll have to call back for a yearly exam.)  Then it was home for a nap.  Although I planned to do laundry tonight, I didn't wake up in time to do it before the 10 pm deadline.  That'll be another task for the morning.

Lunch and Dinner with friends, interrupted by a walk around a mall.

 

Today was marked by two meals out.  Lunch was with MSJ (My friend from the imaging firm I once worked for) and Dinner was with Vicki #1.  I'm lucky I had extra money to spend, as I have another lunch scheduled for tomorrow.

- - - - - -

MSJ and I scheduled today's lunch, so that I could review and comment on her resume. For the most part, it is a good representation of her career, and had few areas needed changing.  The first was was to change her phrasing into

Action → Result

from

Result → Action

This was the easiest thing to do.  But then, we had to figure what could safely be pruned from her resume without significant loss of demonstrated skill sets.  And this forced us to leave in a job or two which she'd like to skip over, and forward fill some dates from self employment to allow her to omit an unwanted job.  Additionally, we changed a reference of a subsidiary to that of a corporate parent, to make her employment appear as she worked for fewer organizations.  

Hopefully, the edits I expect that she'll be making will help her get a new job.  We've scheduled another lunch to review her edits.

- - - - - -

Vicki called just as I was going to spend a little time at Woodbury Commons (outlet mall) to do some browsing.  Although the trip to the mall was a waste of time and car mileage, I was able to chat with Vicki for a while and schedule dinner for the evening.

While at the outlet mall, I found nothing interesting to buy.  Everything was either overpriced status brands, or clothing which would not fit me.  As I was walking back to my car, the front part of my right shoe separated from its base.  Since these were cheap shoes, I decided to trash them when I got home instead of fixing the sole with glue. To kill a little more time, I decided to write up meeting minutes for last night's co-op board meeting, and rest a little before going to the diner to meet Vicki.

- - - - - -

We met at the local diner, and both of us had the chicken.  She had grilled chicken breasts, while I had the roast.  Both were good.  And we grumbled about the short term mentality of the American public, and how America's greatest snake oil salesman will  likely hurt people like us.  It'll take a while for our anger to burn itself out.  But then, can you blame us given the radical changes he promises.  To make things worse, he will likely never be punished for the crimes he committed, as his party refuses to discipline him.

We left the diner around 8:45 pm.  From there, I took a little drive (adding more needless mileage to my car), and saw how Route 9A was being diverted in both directions onto other roads.  Needless to say, I took different side roads to get back home for the night. 

PS: One thing Vicki noted: When I'm with her, I defer to an alpha as a cisgender female tends to do.  When RQS is around, she defers to me in a similar way - regardless of my gender presentation. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Enjoy your turkey with family and friends. I'll be back tomorrow.

Seeing RO for a Bacon Cheeseburger

 

 

I looked nothing like this today. It would have been nice to go out in a nice dress, but the weather was too cool to wear anything other than a trouser like garment.  But I had to go out - I had to drop RQS off at the train station, then I had to drive to Parsippany, NJ to have lunch with RO.

- - - - - -

RQS and I got up early, and we were out the door in time for her to make a 10:42 am train.  From there, I drove out to Parsippany where I was running 30 minutes early.  So, I decided to run into Home Sense and do shopping.  20 minutes later, a new broom and dustpan found their way into the back of my car, and then I was off to see RO.

RO and I were meeting at one of the last Fuddruckers in the Northeast.  I miss this chain, as they always had great hamburgers.  However, due to corporate takeovers and mismanagement, the chain has shrunk to a fraction of its former size. Luckily, there is one near the halfway point between RO's place and mine  She was in the parking lot when I arrived, and we walked in together for lunch.

Although this outlet has seen its better days, it still serves up a good burger - but slowly.  RO ordered her burger and got it quickly,  As for me, it took a long while to cook my burger - and I ordered mine within 60 seconds of RO.  Eventually, we sat down to eat, and we caught up on each other's lives.  Both of us were scarred from the political polarization going on, and I feel I might have talked too much about things.  She's retreating from things that annoy her in a different way that I am doing.  So, I hope that I didn't say too much to upset her.

Eventually, we had to part.  But we didn't set a date for a next get together, as holiday season is coming up.  RO drove back to Pennsylvania, while I drove home with an unproductive stop at Lane Bryant in Paramus.  While driving home, I started getting sleepy.  So I ended up pulling off the road before getting home and napped for 30 minutes before making the last few miles home.

- - - - - -

A little later, I opened up my co-op's board meeting, and we conducted some important business.  First, we interviewed an applicant to purchase shares in the co-op.  And then we met with our soon to be former site representative.  None of us were really happy about the things being discussed, but they had to be discussed without delay.  Were we happy about things?  No.  But we did get what we wanted to do done before ending the meeting.

The weekend seemed way too short for us. (a short post)

 

Veterans Day.  Neither of us had any idea of what we wanted to do.  So, we ended up relaxing in the morning, then going shopping in the afternoon. To us, it was like having a second Sunday during the week, and we took advantage of it.

This was going to be a day spent as Marian, so I made sure to make myself look as nice as possible while looking comfortable. It was not a day to have one's legs exposed, so I decided to wear a pair of leggings under a dress I like using as a tunic top.  Is this what I would prefer to wear?  No.  But who likes having to wear fall/winter weather clothing?

Our first stop was the Mt. Kisco Target, where I bought a few items I would need for my makeup routine.  That's where we fond out that the CVS Pharmacy inside the store was so independent from Target, that the crew inside the pharmacy area didn't have a clue in which aisle RQS could find items she was looking for.  So, we trekked down to the CVS near the Mt. Kisco hospital, where remodeling got in the way of her finding the same items.  But she was in luck - those items were on the shelves, and made it into her shopping cart.

Then it was time for a rest before going out to the local Japanese restaurant to eat.  Both of us were full by the time we left the place, and both of us wanted sleep more than anything else. We were in for the evening, and felt good that we left the house when it wasn't needed.

Other than driving North, this was a do-nothing day. (a short post)

 

I had originally thought that RQS and I would have come up to Croton last night, and I'd be spending the rest of the weekend in Marian mode.  Plans got changed, as we ended up sleeping in Queens on Saturday, then running a couple of errands in Queens before driving North.

On the way back to my place, I called my brother's place and reached my sister in law.  Although she has her own issues, she gave me her interpretation of what is going on with her and my brother - and it's not good.  Hopefully, something will happen to bring them closer together instead of driving them apart.

Once done with my sister in law, we went to BJ's and put a major dent into each of our wallets.  And finally, we were back at my place.

- - - - - -

Seeing some of the TG blogs I often read, they are now running scared of the incoming administration.  I plan to be out and about as Marian as long as I feel safe.  But the minute I think it's not safe, I may shut down this blog - and pray for the best.  Until then, please don't despair.  Even when evil runs the world, it burns itself out over time.  We just have to be cautious in these troubled times, helping each other as needed when needed.

Now, I have to find a different gift for RQS.

 

Recently, I tested the waters with RQS about the cruise I was going to gift her.  She had a reaction similar to mine as if I were sailing solo - getting on a cruise that sails to 3 mediocre locations and not getting off the ship is not a cruise worth going on.  So, I'll have to figure out what I want to give her within the next two or three weeks or so.

The talk about the cruise we won't take got us talking about a cruise we might take - a 7 night Eastern Canada / New England cruise sometime next year.  The cruise we're interested in will sail out of Boston and make port in two places we've never been to before - Sydney, NS and Eastport, ME.  Eastport is the one place from which we'd take a shore excursion - to a US national park in Canada!  You might be asking, how could a US national park be in Canada?  The answer is simple, Campobello is a piece of Canada only accessible from the USA, and FDR's vacation home was on this island.  So, both nations have made the Roosevelt home and grounds a national park, and both nations maintain it.

So my big question is: What should I get RQS for Xmas?

I wish it were legal to kill rude neighbors, but we called the police instead.

 

When we first started to talk about what we were doing this weekend, I was originally planning to go to RQS's place as Marian.  However, I didn't have enough of my winter wardrobe ready for a cold weekend (cold by recent standards, that is) in NYC.  So, I surprised RQS by picking her up at the doctor's office as Mario and was lucky to find a spot near her house.

Why were we in NYC this weekend?

When one has an apartment in an older part of the city, one has to deal with vermin of all sorts (rodents, roaches, and other unwanted critters) on a regular basis.  This weekend, the exterminator was scheduled to come between 12 and 1 pm.  (In the past, he was scheduled to come between 10 am and noon, but things changed lately.)  So, both of us got showered and dressed, then waited - and waited for an exterminator who never came.  After a call to the super, we gave up and left for our next stop - RQS's storage compartment.

RQS has been cleaning out her storage compartment as long as I've known her.  Don't get me wrong.  She has a room sized compartment near her home which contains the detritus from her late parents' house which she has had to sort through over time.  So, we ended up spending time there, sorting through boxes, compacting empty cardboard boxes, and making it easier to get at things in the compartment.  After a couple of hours there, it was time to return to her apartment to rest a bit.

One of the movies we wanted to see is Conclave.  It is a story about what happens when a pope dies, and the political shenanigans which occur when some cardinals jockey to be elected pope.  Without giving away the final wrinkle in the film, there is bribery, there is a child born out of wedlock, and there is an incognito cardinal (with certification) who has been serving in Kabul, Afghanistan - all the things that would make a story about a papal Conclave interesting.  We highly recommend this movie for those who like intelligent drama.

Once the film was over, we ended up going back home.  And that's where things became sour.  One neighbor was having a party, playing music loud enough to make the glassware in RQS's curio cabinet rattle.  One could feel the floor thump a little due to the repetitive bass line from the loudness of the music being played.  It was 10:30 pm, and we wanted to sleep.  Our next door neighbor on the same floor was also being annoyed.  Since we couldn't be sure of whether it was the apartment below us causing the problem, or the noise was from the building next door, RQS called the police.  30 minutes later, it seemed as if things quieted down.  Just as well - I'd hate to see things continue like this because of an inconsiderate neighbor.

And now, on to happier things...

 

As much as I'd like to show my readers a picture of RQS smiling in this blog, I will not do so because of what once happened with someone who once was a close friend.  However, RQS would not have cruised with me in Marian Mode, had she not been comfortable with me in both gender presentations.

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Soon, we will be booking another cruise.  And again, we will be traveling as two women.  Assuming we take the cruise I'm planning to book, we will not even bother getting off the cruise ship.  My rights will not be protected in Florida, nor will they be protected in the Bahamas.  So, the safest place for me to be will be onboard. This is OK with the two of us.

We have booked a nice Thanksgiving dinner at a nice place.  It's not the place where we originally wanted to go.  But it is affordable, and it is a place we've wanted to try for a while.  I've already bought RQS one of her Xmas gifts, and will soon buy her another to be opened on the holiday.  However, it'll be the cruise that she'll remember most of all - my gift to her.

- - - - - -

RQS has become a member of my family for all practical purposes.  I feel very lucky that this has happened.  But who knew that 5 years after breaking up with XGFJ that I'd be with someone who accepts my transgender nature?  Yes, that period in my life hurt.  Yet, it forced me to become more independent, making myself ready to make the sacrifices needed to have a caring partner in life....

As I wrote this, I am still in mourning

 

Sadly, my worst fears have come true.  The most successful Snake Oil salesman has conned a large enough percentage of America to accept him as a "Strongman" leader.  This is likely the end of America as we know it.  Only time will tell if our institutions can hold out against this tsunami of evil.

Election day has come and gone.  We will likely see a return of the Orange Monster, if the grim reaper doesn't harvest him first.  What does this mean for us transgender folk?  Well, we are likely to see religious zealots get control of many levers of government.  We are likely to see this nation become a kleptocracy.  We are likely to see hyperinflation caused by reckless financial policies.  We are likely to see our taxes spike because someone has to pay the debt created by the plutocrats.  And we are likely to see a rise of anti-transgender hatred from religious zealots, as we are among the groups that are usually targeted for use as scapegoats.

What can we do about it?

For some, we can still go into stealth mode.  That might allow us to hide in plain sight.  But it will not remove the danger, as we've seen other nations perform purges against us with no provocation.  (I'm reminded of Kristallnacht (11/9/38), where Nazi violence against German Jews caused the streets to be covered by broken glass - Hence, the name "Crystal Night.")

How many of us have second passports?  This is the time to start paperwork to acquire them.  I've started mine.  What about liquid, transportable assets?  Many of us don't have the resources to leave this country in a hurry if needed.  This doesn't mean that it would be easy for us to leave, even if we had passports.  One had to surrender all of one's assets to the Nazis to leave Germany, even if one had the ability to do so.

So what do we do?

First, don't act out of fear.  Don't let fear get in the way of rational thought.  No matter what happens, it'll take time for any evil bureaucracy to get things running smoothly.  And that will be the time we need to make our preparations to leave - if leaving is called for.  Are you Jewish?  Israel is always an option.  What about Ireland, Italy, Germany, and the UK?  If you have the right ancestry, they can be havens for us?  There are also many nations which provide citizenship by investment - some nations offer sanctuary for only $50k.  If you can't get citizenship by birthright, one might want to explore this option.  A YouTube channel, the Nomad Capitalist can supply some of the information you need.  I like his most recent response to Trump's victory.

But in any case, start working on your exit plan now!  (You might need it soon.)