Now that the holidays are over, I can catch up on my posts.

 

RQS usually comes to my place on Friday afternoons and goes back home on Mondays.  If I go to her place, I'll usually arrive on a Friday, and leave on a Sunday or Monday depending on which side of the street I was able to park.  This holiday season is different.  RQS came up on a Friday, and will not leave here (with one exception) until after holiday season ends.  So I'll be catching up with occasional posts which describe what happened....

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The weekend before Christmas followed our usual pattern.  RQS arrived on Friday, and we ended up going out to a Chinese restaurant in Mohegan Lake.  (It was a choice between having Mexican for the 3rd time that week, or having something different.  Different won out.)  Once we were finished with dinner, we drove home for the evening.

Saturday came, and we ended up taking care of a couple of errands before driving to Ikea.  I wanted to replace a chest of drawers which is gradually falling apart with a cheap, but tolerably solid unit.  This would allow me to port clothing from one chest to the new chest, allowing RQS to be able to store more of her clothes at my place.  This would make it easier for her to stay for longer periods of time, when she has nothing much to do at her place.

Why did we go on Saturday, and not Sunday?  Bergen county, New Jersey has "Blue Laws" which limit the types of business which can be conducted on Sundays.  Furniture sales is not one of the permitted business activities.  So, we had to make it to Ikea on Saturday.  Otherwise, we would have to wait until after Christmas to check out the chest.  Once there, we wandered through the store until we found the chest in which I was interested.  RQS mentioned that I wasn't sure of the chest's dimensions, and convinced me that I should wait until I was sure of the measurements of the chest.  (I had previously measured the chest, but lost my confidence in my measurements, given that I had done this over a month ago.)  So, we browsed the store and bought a couple of things before leaving.  Just before we checked out our goods, we looked at the packaging for the unassembled chest - each of the two boxes weighed more than I wanted to lift into the car.  This meant that I would order the chest, and let someone else deliver the packages to my apartment.

Although we talked about stopping by Lane Bryant while in the neighborhood, holiday shopping traffic in Paramus scuttled this plan, and we went home for the night....

Idiocracy

 

With what's going on in America these days, I wonder if we're already in an Idiocracy.  The movie was supposed to be one big joke.  Yet, somehow, reality is becoming stranger than fiction.

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To start, I'll note that as I have become more educated, my politics have turned leftward.  No, it is not because my core values have changed.  But it is because I understand the world as a complex system that has no ideal solutions to its many problems.  People who lean right see the world in simplistic terms, as if the universe was a simple binary system.  

Unfortunately, the more complex a system becomes, the more unlikely it is to work well as there are a greater number of failure points.  America was designed well for simpler times.  Our constitution was designed to be flexible enough to be adopted to changing times.  But the one thing that couldn't be foreseen was that as our nation grew and technology advanced, that we would have millions of poorly educated people stuck in dead-end jobs, bereft of opportunities to advance themselves.  To make things worse, each of these uneducated people has an equal power in their votes which determine the direction our country takes.  Since each of these poorly educated people is a point of failure in our nation, no wonder why we are so dysfunctional as a nation.

Our founding fathers' big mistake was to assume that the majority of men (now people) running this country would be people of reasonable virtue.  They could not foresee a time where a person like our president to be could get elected by lying in his campaign statements.  Although educated people did not believe these lies, the poorly educated echoed them as if they were truth, helping to get this convicted criminal elected president.

When one looks at the president to be and his cabinet nominations, one sees great incompetence ready to take over the reins of government.  The best example of these bad choices is RFK jr. to be in charge of the nation's health.  Vaccinations have been responsible for the eradication of Polio; the reduction (if not elimination) of diseases such as Rubella, Whooping Cough, Measles and Mumps; as well as helping to slow down the spread of Covid-19.  Yet, RFK jr. is the darling of the conspiracy set who believe that vaccinations should be banned.  I have met the man, and found him to be lacking in the things needed to be an effective leader.  And he is only the tip of an iceberg.

I fear what will happen on inauguration day.  Will we be a nation run by idiots?  Or, will congress and the courts come to their senses and stop the executive branch from hastening the decline of our nation?  Only time will give us an answer to these questions....

Frustration - a short post about something other than transgender life

 

I recently attended a co-op board meeting.  Although I won't go into details about what we discussed, I will go into some of my observations in regard to this meeting....

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Knowing what was going to happen at the meeting, I knew to allocate 3 hours of my evening for the board.  This got in the way of my finally doing laundry, but this was my laziness' fault and not the board's fault.  Around 6 pm, I opened up the meeting, and the president gave us the latest status updates on matters of concern.

Around 6:30, we interviewed an applicant who wants to live here, and we reported the result of our vote to the site manager from the old company.  After that, the outgoing site manager gave his report, and we relayed our concerns to him.  But this isn't what frustrated me.  One board member was trying to slow down our decision making, something which would cost the co-op (and our shareholders) big bucks.  I was almost at my breaking point when I told her in no uncertain terms - stop getting in the way.  No one is going to come out of the blue and rescue us - we have to deal with our problems ourselves.  Both the president of the co-op and I are tired of this lady.  She has nothing to offer, and only stands in the way of making any real decisions.

When the meeting ended, I chatted with the board's president about my frustrations, noting that I will take care of a letter that has to be sent out before Xmas.  The problem is that our outgoing management firm may either slow walk the letter, or simply not send it out in time for our shareholders to deal with upcoming changes.  Hopefully, we will get things done on time....

I can't believe I ate the whole thing....

 

 
I was supposed to meet my friend from the census for lunch today.  However, I screwed things up in confirming our get together, and we had to postpone things for 3 weeks.  There is much I had to talk about, and I guess that will have to wait until we recover from holiday season.  But this didn't stop me from having a nice meal out.  No, No, No!  I ended up having lunch at the Mexican joint down the hill from me, and spent money that I didn't need to spend.

It was not easy for me to get up and ready for dinner with the meetup group.  My bed was comfortable, and I was lying on a heating pad being used to help me deal with some back pain I've had for the past couple of days.  Yet, I made sure to get dressed again, and out the door for a second restaurant meal of the day.

Finding a parking space at the lot in back of the restaurant was impossible. Almost everyone seemed to be having their holiday dinners.  Instead of circling the lot for an hour or so, I went to the new parking garage across the street from the first lot, then walked to the restaurant in the rain.  (Too bad that there was no place to put the umbrella when I got to my table, but I digress....)  Of the 4 people who were there when I arrived, I didn't know anyone.  But soon the people I knew came to the table.  

My stomach must be getting smaller, as I was filled after eating a small bowl of chili with chips.  Yet, I had a light salad afterwards - something I wish I had skipped.  Too bad that the restaurant was crowded, as it took forever to get my food.  I'd have liked someone to bus the table earlier, so I didn't have my dirty plates sitting in front of me.  Luckily, the person next to me wasn't eating, so she didn't mind me spreading out a little.

Being in a loud restaurant with a lot of noise isn't pleasing to me.  So, once I paid my bill, I was out the door and on the way home.  Did I enjoy the day?  Not that much.  But I did enjoy some of the food....

 

PS: If you can't remember where I got the title of this entry, watch this old ad.

 

 

And now: Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

 

When I was young, I loved watching this show.  Yes, it was campy.  But it was fun to watch.  It's a shame that this show was done with a campy style, as the tone of the Batman comics was much darker in spirit.  But what does this have to do with my life?

Well, many of us have to live two separate lives.  One out of circumstance, and the other out of choice.  The first life is what others expect of you.  The other is what you expect from yourself.  Most of the time, our outer and inner lives are in rough synchronization with each other.  Other times, they are not.  In the case of the fictional crime fighter, his Batman persona was a way of coping with the damage done to him in his past.  In my case, it is my true spirit coming out of a cocoon.

Last night (as I write this), I had a conversation with Vicki.  She noted that my personality as Mario and Marian is the same person, just expressed in two very different ways.  RQS sees this, regardless of what clothing I am wearing.  But what is this difference?  Vicki feels that Marian's personality expression reflects the lack of both the familial emotional damage done to Mario as a child and the social emotional damage that would have been done to Marian had she been born with a female body.  There is a certain emotional strength in Marian that Mario could never have, as she never suffered the blows that most children have received while growing up.

Why is this important?

I realize that I never want to give up my life as Marian for anything.  Yet, it is threatened by the undercurrents of today's politics.  A conservative gay man who made a case for same-sex marriage long before it was the law of the land once noted that he was surprised to see this happen in his lifetime.  Same-sex marriage only challenges one of one of our traditional beliefs: Heterosexual relationships are a cornerstone of our society's values.  Society begrudgingly acknowledged gay and lesbian rights and moved on to other struggles.  But that left transgender people with fewer allies.  

The existence of transgenders challenges something more basic in society, the idea that people could be born with the mind of one gender, but be housed in the body of the other.  I'm reminded of a joke from the "Addams Family Values" movie where Morticia delivers her newborn child.  Gomez pops out into the waiting room where everyone is asking: "What is it?"  And Gomex proudly announces: "It's an Addams!"  It's not the answer most of us were expecting to hear, but it is an equally correct one that challenges our standard mode of thinking.  To most of us, one's sex/gender is the most basic form of identification one can have - and it is fixed at birth.  To Gomez, it is simply that he had a healthy child.

Right now, my rights are protected in most of the "Blue States".  But they are being attacked in congress, as Sarah McBride may be denied her right to go to the women's loo in peace.  Sarah understands the nature of the game.  But most people do not.  They see the world in binary terms such as reproductive gender and not the fluidity found throughout nature.

As for me, I will continue exercising my rights to go out as Marian, as this is the personality that best fits who I am.  She may evolve, like most of us do over time.  Yet, she will feel more like a whole person while doing so. This is the most important thing to me - to be true to myself.

Happy New Year - 2025

 

Happy New Year!!!!

(My regular posts will resume tomorrow.)