A second visit to Chazz Palmentieri's restaurant (a short post)

 

Last week, I went to Chazz Palmenteri's restaurant in White Plains, NY and said that I wanted to go back there again with RQS.  Today, I had the chance to do so.

The day started with us getting up slowly.  This was going to be a day spent as Marian, so I made the appropriate plans which allowed me the time to shave, shower, get fully made up, and dressed for a lunch at a nice restaurant.  Neither of us wanted to go out in a drizzling rain, but we had 1 pm reservations made late the previous evening.  So, out the door we went, and we arrived at the nearby parking lot around 1:05.

Walking from the public parking lot to the restaurant in a drizzle was annoying at best, especially when part of the sidewalk was closed for construction.  But being at the restaurant made the getting there all worthwhile.  We sat down, and the waiter mentioned that it was nice to see us again.  (Did he remember me, or was this a way to give a polite warm welcome?)  I ordered my drink, then we ordered our meals - Calamari, Chicken Parmigiana, and Cheesecake for me; Salad, Chicken Francese, and Ice Cream for her.  Both of us loved our meals.  We will be there again soon for sure.

We walked back to the car and went home for the day.  It wasn't the kind of day that either of us wanted to go out again.  And we didn't....

 

 

 

A dress came in with UPS delivery today.

 

The other day, RQS and I bought identical dresses (in our sizes) from Lands End.  It is described online as a High Impact Crew Neck Active Dress with the following blurb:

When your clothes have built-in performance features like UPF 50 sun protection, moisture-wicking and stretch, you’ll be ready for every activity. Built-in shorts with pockets give you added functionality, and the zippered back makes it effortless to put on and take off at the end of the day. Sport, yet chic, this dress is made to move with you and gives you the flexibility you need in your day – go from court to café without having to change your outfit.

Both RQS and I figured we'd take a chance on this dress, even though it would require that we zip (and unzip) this dress every time we wear it.  Given that I already have 3 exercise dresses and 3 unitards, I thought twice about buying the dress.  Given its style, I could wear it for occasions other than exercise, as long as I can get in and out of the dress without help.

When I got home, I saw that UPS had delivered the dress a day early, and I had to try it on. It fit acceptably well, but I'll have a hard time with the zipper if I don't place it perfectly before stepping in to the dress.  Yet, I think I'll be wearing it for times other than for exercise - it looks that nice.  RQS ordered the dress in both green and black, and had one comment - the black dress looks like one of many little black dresses she could wear.  (I wonder now whether I should have ordered the black dress as well.)  Neither of us intends to return our dresses.  And it will be interesting to see if we both wear the same dress one day when we go out for our walks.

 

 

 

Steak dinner with Vicki

 

Vicki and I scheduled a second Restaurant Week dinner at Benjamin Steakhouse in White Plains.  Neither of us had been here before, and we wanted to have a good meal to make up for last week's disappointment at Saint George. So, I took out one of my unworn Universal Standard dresses, and dressed up a little for the evening.  (Too bad I didn't take a selfie - the dress looked quite nice on me.)

- - - - - -

It was my turn to pick Vicki up at her place.  So, I drove to her place around 5:30 and waited a few minutes for her to come out of her house.  On the way down to the restaurant, we talked about my brother, his upcoming trip, and the family homestead.  It was a pleasant chat, but Vicki got in the way of my driving by suggesting where I should turn (or not turn) when near the steakhouse.  This was not a big deal.  But it shows in a subtle way a hidden side of her personality - her intelligence can be a weapon if she wants to use it that way.  Luckily, I knew enough about the area to get us to the place on time and to hand my keys to the valet for parking.

We entered the place and were quickly shown to our table around 6:30. Within a few minutes both our drink orders and dinner orders were taken. Shortly afterward, our starters were delivered - a wedge salad for her and lobster bisque for me. Both were very good. Vicki commented on the atmosphere of the place, loving almost everything except for the reflected sounds which made it hard to speak.  Once done with our main courses came - Filet Mignon for her and NY Strip for me. Again, both were very good.  So far, this place succeeded in both the quality of the food and in service. When we finished our mains, the waiter came over to take our dessert orders - chocolate cake for Vicki and cheesecake for me. Both were very good, and on a par with the rest of our meals.  This will be a place we go back to again when restaurant week comes again, or for special occasions.  

On the way home, Vicki talked about the medical problems her dog is having.  For a 3 year old, he has gotten quite expensive.  But like most fur parents, Vicki loves her dogs and will do almost anything for them.  As for me, I am done with raising fur babies, as I love being able to travel at will - money permitting.

 

Mexican lunch and a new Bra

 

I had only one thing on the docket today, and that was lunch with CCS, my friend from the US Census.  Around noon, I made sure to get shaved, showered, made up and dressed for a 1:30 lunch.

- - - - - - 

CCS and I aren't that close.  We're not the types who need to be at each other's beck and call.  Instead, we are the type of friends who can keep each other up to date on what's going on in each other's lives, and be there for each other when we need a small favor from each other.  So a friendship built on workplace camaraderie has evolved into something that nourishes us years after our involvement in the census.

When we got together, we talked of several things - current affairs, her upcoming trip to Atlantic City, my life with RQS and our upcoming trips, and issues one faces when one holds dual citizenship in the US and another country and wants to travel.  I learned how I'll be dealing with passport issues once I have my second passport.

Once we finished lunch, I took a long, overland route to Lane Bryant in Paramus to see what is in the store.  Nothing I would have liked was selling at a price I wanted to pay.  About the only thing I wanted was a new bra, and they were on sale.  Even more interesting, they actually had my size in store stock for a change.  So I bought the bra in the above picture.  Just before I left, there was another woman in the store who was shopping for a bra in her size - 38-I.  I can't imagine having breasts that large on my chest. The saleslady was trying to tell her to try on both the 38-I and the 40-H sizes, as sometimes a "sister size" bra will work better on some frames.  (I wasn't going to get involved in this conversation, as I've already had to deal with sister sizing when buying my bras.)

Soon, I was on my way home, and dealing with rush hour traffic.  Luckily, I got home in a little over an hour, and was able to relax for the rest of the evening.

A Co-Op shareholder meeting - I couldn't wait for it to end.

 

Well, this was another day that I couldn't spend any time as Marian.  By now, the look on my face probably mirrors the look on the picture above.  OK, it's not that weird, but I feel that way after the weekend I've had.

- - - - - -

Around 3:30 pm, I finally got around to doing 2 loads of laundry while I got showered and dressed for the 6 pm board meeting.  By 5:30, I was out the door and off to the shareholder meeting.  We have had a problem for the past several shareholder meetings - not enough people attending for us to have a quorum. And this year wouldn't be different.

At 7:45, our attorney called the meeting to order.  He noted that we didn't have a quorum, and that the old board would continue for another term.  And then, the "fun" began.  Due to financial problems we encountered last year and that we are working to resolve, we have a shortfall for which we will need to make an assessment of all shareholders to cover this shortage.  Understandably, people were upset.  They were even more upset that our bank hasn't been able to give us final totals for us to work with.  So, we are going with our attorney's estimate for what we will need to pay, and we then gave an estimate of what we expect to ding our shareholders to make things whole again.

The meeting ended at 8:30, and I was able to make it to the diner for a chef salad before they closed for the evening.  It was nice to go there again, as it is a place I only go when presenting as Mario.  Yes, I ended up eating too much today, but I'll watch my diet tomorrow.

 

Replacing the water heater was the reason for another drive to Long Island.

 

Before plumbing work

After plumbing work

As I mentioned yesterday, I couldn't park near RQS's house, and I had to drive back to Croton to stay the night.  So, today, I had to drive back to Long Island to let the plumber into the family homestead to replace the water heater.  This meant that I would have to get up early and spend 90 minutes driving to Long Island instead of finding somewhere to kill 2 1/2 hours before the plumber arrived.  Since I'd be in a position where Mario would be expected, this took away another chance to spend a day as Marian.

- - - - - - 

Rushing to be on time, I got showered, dressed, and was out of the house by 10:15.  What happens when one rushes?  One forgets to take one's morning pills.  This would make it the second day in a row that I forgot to take some of my medicines.  So I know to double check this before I leave in the morning and when I come back at night.  But I digress.  Something must be going on with Android Auto updates, as I couldn't get a clean connection between my car's head unit and my phone.  Twice on the way to the family homestead, I decided to reboot the phone, reestablish Bluetooth connectivity, but to no avail.  Figuring things out would have to wait until I was ready to go home.

Arriving at the house a little bit before noon, I had to double check to see whether the plumbers were coming.  They were a few minutes late, but got to work quickly.  About 3 1/2 hours later, the new water heater was installed and the gas lines tested for leaks.  (Sadly, we may need to run new gas lines within the house, as replacement will likely be cheaper than repairs.  Ouch!)  And then, it was all over for the day.  So, I fought rush hour traffic on the way home, and arrived at my apartment around 5:15 or so - and proceeded to rest for the evening.

- - - - - -

Given that we will need to have more work done in the house, I will need to coordinate a day which works with my schedule, RQS's schedule, and the plumber's schedule for the next visit.  Since the day would begin around 8:30, I'd have to stay over RQS's place the night before, so that I don't have to fight bridge traffic that morning.  Hopefully, this can be done before my next trip.  If not, it will be done afterwards. 

 

 

PS: My brother told me that the additional plumbing work will cost an extra $4,000. This means that we will not add a half-bath to the house.  Instead, we will either again rent out the house or sell it at today's high prices.

An overly short weekend (and a short post)

 

Yes, I know that this is not 2016.  But I wanted to illustrate that this past weekend was way too short for me.  Only being able to be with RQS on Friday night and Saturday wasn't good enough for me.  At least, I was able to get back to her for dinner on Sunday before going home for the night.

But first....

I had agreed to help my brother with power washing the foundation walls again at the family homestead, as the concrete he used for patching the interior wall was faulty and didn't hold up.  So I told RQS that we'd have a short weekend.  Strangely enough, we didn't do much of anything other than rest.  That was good enough for me, as I'd be working much of the afternoon on Sunday.

Sunday eventually came, and I had to give up a good parking spot in RQS's neighborhood to meet my brother.  After an aborted visit to Mickey D's due to their order kiosks not working for me, we went to the local Burger King - where the touch pads worked.  (Note to me: Do not let one's anger out at the crappy Mickey D's order kiosk - they force their franchisees to buy shitty hardware which annoys both the customer and the franchisee.  Note to reader: If you want to know if a McD's soft serve is working at a particular site, use the mcbroken.com site.)

Once done with our burgers, it was off to the family homestead for 3 hours of work.  This time, the power washing and new concrete seem to do the job.  My brother will apply a skim coat during the week, and will hopefully apply paint after he comes back from a quick trip to the back woods of Appalachia.

Quitting time came, and my brother was off to his wife, and I was off to RQS.  Although I could find a parking spot or two, I could not find one that would let me sleep late in the morning.  So I found a space nearby the house, and went upstairs for dinner.  All too soon, I had to leave, and I had an easy drive home until I hit the draw bridge on the Hutchinson River Parkway.  I lost 30 minutes in that jam.  And yet, even with a shopping trip at Walmart and the Supermarket, I was home shortly after 10 pm.  

Unfortunately, I'll have to go back to Long Island in the morning for the plumber, and then finally go home.  At least, I can see the day where I can again go out as Marian....

Lunch with another Vicki - transgender issues were the theme of the day

 

Unlike yesterday's dinner with Vicki #1 (Tall Vicki), today's lunch was with Vicki #2 (Short Vicki)..  It's hard to keep my Vickis straight without a scorecard.  With that being said, we went to Chazz Palmenteri's restaurant in White Plains for a Restaurant Week meal.

Vicki ended up shoehorning me into her schedule, as unplanned things got in her way.  First, her 21-y/o TG offspring had to be picked up from college, as they had a power outage and were operating remotely for the day.  Since he had no power at school, he couldn't attend a virtual class without power and the internet.  So she ended up driving up to Purchase, back to Dobbs Ferry, and back to White plains to meet me.  While at lunch, she described the issues going on with her wife (who is transgender, and whose issues I won't mention here), as well as the vacation they plan to take next month.  All too soon, we had to go.  She had to take her offspring back to campus, reversing her morning's drives.

As for me, I took a long drive to stay out of the house.  I could have gone to Queens for a TG voice session at the LGBT center there, but I didn't want to risk getting caught in the rain.  So, I stayed home and rested. 

Zooming with my niece & Dinner with Vicki

 

My niece and I try to chat with each other via Zoom, as we live in separate time zones, separate nations, and separate continents.  She, like me, is wary of what is happening in the USA, and is worried about what will happen when she and her husband visit the US this month to see her brother compete in a sporting event.  So today's chat had American politics as a dominant theme, instead of what we prefer talking about.  

To deal with her visit to the US, she has deleted virtually all of her emails which reference US politics, as well as removing any social media from her phone.  She isn't too worried about her husband's phone, as he doesn't use social media.  However, she is concerned about him, simply because of the current xenophobic attitude of the regime currently in power.  

I discussed the conversation I had with her dad regarding how he treats her mom, as well as the conversation her mom had with me.  But I did not go into details, as I didn't want to make her a middle person.  However, I suggested that she keep tabs on her dad, as he is going through a lot of stress these days.  She is also being careful not to be caught in the middle of her dad and mom, as no one wins in these situations.

Hopefully, she and her hubby will have a pleasant visit to the US. 

- - - - - -

A few hours later, Vicki picked me up to go to eat at one of the Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW) restaurants.  Coordinating our schedules isn't always easy.  But now that she's semi-retired (she'll work if a good job comes her way), she has much more freedom to schedule things like HVRW dinners than in the past.

Today, we went to a new restaurant, Saint George, in Hastings.  I wanted to love this place, as it had the ambience and service that I would normally rave about.  However, the Beef Bourguignon left a lot to be desired, as it was presented as if it were a Shepard's Pie - and tasted the same.  This was not the French dish I was expecting.  And it caused both Vicki and I to give the place a "Thumbs  Down".  Maybe, if one of us had ordered something different, we'd have had a different opinion of the place.  But for now, we'll skip this place and go to other places in the area.

 

 

PS: We may be seeing Martin Sexton in June.  I wonder whether she will like his cover of the Beatles' Abbey Road album. (Unlike me, she is not a Beatles' fan.  I wish I could have been in Vegas to see Cheap Trick cover the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album about 20 years ago.  It was a better performance than I expect Martin Sexton's performance will be.)

 

Our Viper Holiday (420 Day) falls on Easter Sunday this year.

 

Those of you who know me know that I am moderate in my vices.  Although I have partaken in Snoop Dogg's favorite "Medicine", I am far from being a Viper like Snoop and Willie Nelson.  With maybe a couple of exceptions, the last time I partook of the the wonderful herb was in 1983.  Yet, I have always been a strong advocate for its legalization, and am glad that I can get it legally (according to New York State) in a convenient dispensary near me.

One year, the Transgender Day of Remembrance fell on Easter Sunday, and then the GOP hypocrites condemned President Biden for recognizing the Transgender community.  These are the same jerks who tried to deny the American public the right to enjoy the mind altering substance of their choice while smoking their "Tea" in private.  There is something they don't like about other people having the same freedoms that they want to reserve for themselves.

I can't say too much for the intelligence of the average MAGAloon.  Like many people, they aren't able to articulate why they support the conservative movement in this country, nor can they justify their beliefs with objective evidence.  I'll admit that the person in the above linked discussion is likely an uneducated person who follows their political and religious leaders without question.  Even when I was in therapy, my therapist would argue against the legalization of cannabis while smoking it in private.  Like many in the conservative movement, there is a blatant inconsistency in his reasoning that offended me; and I was glad to end my therapy sessions when he retired.

Although I doubt that I will partake of any cannabis on Easter, I will be glad that we are no longer putting people in jail in my state for enjoying their smoke of choice.  Hopefully, it will soon be legal in all 50 states, so that no one need worry about being arrested for illegal possession if they cross state lines.

Another day down, and I did nothing of note (a quick post)

 

I enjoy the days where I have nothing that I absolutely have to do.  Today was one of those days.  Could I have done my laundry?  Could I have gotten dressed and gone out?  Could I have finished my paperwork for a second passport?  The answer is NO to all of these questions.

 

After having to run to Long Island and back, it was time to relax - today was that day.  I'll be out as Marian for the next two days, and then I'll be in Mario mode for the better park of a week.  Two days of this will be spent with RQS, two days will be spent at the family homestead, and another day will be spent at the co-op's open shareholder meeting.

 

Rest was the order of the day, and they only thing I did was to shower to feel fresh.  And then it was back in my jammies for the rest of the day.  At least, I'll have two days out as Marian before being stuck as Mario for a while....

A trip I was glad not to make (a short post)

 

As I've previously written, I own a rental property with my brother, and he is managing repairs to it before it is rented out again.  This past weekend, my brother would have liked for me to help him with work on repairing the foundation walls - patching the holes with new concrete and possibly applying a new coat of paint as a sealer.  Well, I wasn't available because of RQS's birthday, and he had to make other plans.

My brother is well connected with the fire department, and can usually get a few friends to help him for couple of C-Notes each per day.  This weekend, his friends weren't available, and he had to reach out to my step-nephew, B, for help.  To me, B is as useful as the Pope's balls - they both have the potential of doing something useful, but because of individual choices, they have vestigial existences.  So, my brother figured that he'd try to get some use out of B, and avoid losing a week by using B as a laborer.

The plan for the day was for my brother and B to do some work in the basement.  Once the walls had been power washed again, my brother sent B out in the yard to do some minor landscaping while he patched walls with concrete.  Four hours later, work was done and our account was $100 lighter.  Sadly, the concrete my brother used was found to be bad, and we will need to repeat this work next weekend.

. 

A trip to Queens to pay some tax bills.

As most of my readers know, my posts are usually two (or more) weeks behind when events happened. This allows me to preserve a degree of privacy when I travel, so that people would not ransack an empty apartment when I'm away.  Today, I'm writing about an event that emptied my wallet, and not my apartment....

- - - - - -

In the USA, our yearly income taxes are due on April 15th.  My income can vary from year to year, but it has two constant (for now) income sources: My pension from work, and my social security check.  With both of these checks coming in on time, I have the same after tax income I was living on for years before I retired for good. However, what can and will vary is the income I receive from renting out the family homestead, and any distributions I decide to take from my 401k (retirement savings).  

Unfortunately for me, America has a progressive tax system which hits the middle class worst of all.  The rich have their tax dodges such as the constructive use of insurance policies to avoid paying income taxes (I won't go into how this is done here.)  The poor pay little in income taxes, receive subsistence subsidies, and live lives of quiet desperation. This means that for me, I am stuck depending on others for several things such as the financials from the family homestead.  More importantly, due to our progressive tax system, I am stuck having to estimate how much taxes I will need to pay for the year, and then pay them in advance.  AARGH!  

Today was the day I had to go to my tax lady and send off taxes owed for 2024, and to pay an installment on 2025's estimated taxes.  Ouch!  At least, I had RQS with me, as she had to pay her 2024 taxes as well.  So we left my place at noon, and arrived at the tax lady at 1:15 or so.  By 1:45, we were out of the place and heading towards RQS's place.

We arrived at RQS's place around 2:30 or so, and both of us wanted to take a nap.  I couldn't afford that luxury, as I wanted to make it home before the worst of rush hour began. So around 3 pm, I started my drive home and hit the one traffic jam I expected, and avoided several more.  It was hard to believe that I was home before 4:30, but I was.  And I finally got the chance to take that nap. 

 

 

PS: Two weeks later, RQS found out that the tax lady had not yet filed her taxes, even though she had an e-file receipt.  She was pissed off (to put it mildly) and it took a few phone calls before she could reach the tax lady.  Next year, I'll bet that RQS will use someone else, as her returns are relatively simple and can be handled by any run of the mill tax professional.  As for me, I'm stuck using someone like this lady until I find someone better....

Happy Birthday! to someone special.

 

Life is short, and so was Mickey Rooney.  When I saw him perform with Ann Russell in Sugar Babies, I remember him staring into her luscious breasts and saying:

Who wants to be tall?!?!

Well, someone special to me is another year older, and I wanted to celebrate her birthday with a nice dinner out.  And that I did.  I made reservations at a local restaurant with the mistaken thought that we'd be dining during Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW).  It was not as expensive a mistake as it could have been, but more on that later.

We had several things we wanted to do during the day, but didn't do them because we wanted to relax.  So it was a jammie day for us, both of us lounging around in clothes we wouldn't want anyone else to see.  Since RQS has to watch her diet, she was saving up all of her delicious calories for the meal we'd be eating later.  As for me, I wasn't worried about anything I'd be eating, as I knew not to stuff myself before going out for dinner.

Eventually, 4 pm came around, and it was time to get dressed.  RQS put on one of the dresses she has stored at my place, and I put on a royal blue dress from Lane Bryant that I had never worn before. Although I am several sizes larger than the model above, I feel that the dress looked good on me. RQS said so too. And then, it was off to Briarcliff Manor to eat.

Just as we were going out to the car, the heavens opened up.  So we ran as quickly as we could, and got into the car.  Luckily, we budgeted more than enough time to reach the restaurant, as I was not comfortable driving in this weather.  When we got to the restaurant, I dropped RQS off at the door, and found a parking spot open up right by the same door.  At least we wouldn't get too wet going to the car after dinner.

We decided to split an order of calamari for an appetizer, and then had the lobster and crab lasagna.  The calamari was an unexpected treat, as it was done perfectly - tender, not rubbery.  And, to use an overused ethnic phrase, the lasagna was to die for!  Yum!!!  Both of us were pleasantly surprised that the seafood flavors stood out in this dish, when they could have been easily overcome by the other ingredients in this dish.

Although we both enjoyed dessert, it paled in comparison to the main course.  But then, after this main course, an excellent dessert would have a hard time against such a main course as we had.  So I paid the bill.  If we had waited 2 days, we could have gotten a similar meal for $120 that included 2 appetizers, 2 mains, and 2 desserts (with tax and tips).  But I was drinking a little, so make that $150.  Our meal with 1 appetizer, 2 mains, 2 desserts, and 2 drinks (with tax and tips) was $170 - and worth every penny.  We will be going back there again - we just don't know when.
 

 

Now for something completely different....

 

Years ago, I saw this turkey of a movie because it was then associated with Mad Magazine.  Boy, was it bad!  In fact, Mad removed its name from the movie, as well as Alfred E. Neuman waving to the audience at the end of the film.

Recently, I watched the never-aired pilot for an animated show based on Mad Magazine, and I can see why it never made it to TV - it was good, but not commercial.  It captured the spirit of the magazine too well, but neglected the need for TV stations to sell ads.  However, when Mad gave its name to a sketch comedy show, it survived for several seasons.

I miss the idea of a magazine that would skewer everyone.  Today's closest equivalent might be the South Park animated show.  They skewered Scientology, losing one of its voice cast members (Isaac Hayes as Chef) in the process.  Mad in its prime could do the same thing in newsprint.  I remember their spoofs of Star Trek, Star Wars, and other movies.  But they were at their best when spoofing everyday hypocrisy in life - especially in politics.  

Right now, today's comedians are still able to exercise their first amendment rights. As long as we can laugh at people in power, we are safe.  The minute that comedians are unable to skewer the people in power (especially, the Orange Snowflake), then it will be time to leave this country.  So, if you want to preserve your civil rights, help today's comics speak truth to power by attending their shows.

Taxes - AARGH!!!! (An expensive, but short post.)

 

Today, I ended up calling my tax lady and found out what I owe this year.  OUCH!  Due to the fact that I have income from the family homestead from which taxes aren't deducted, I owe the State and Federal government several thousand dollars.  No, I have not paid estimated taxes, and I might need to next year.  Too bad that my old tax lady has retired, as she used to send me forms to make these payments in advance.  Well, that's another thing I will need to talk to the tax lady about when I see her again.

As you can guess, I hate the yearly ritual of paying taxes.  Owning a rental house is a big pain for me.  But I appreciate the extra income it beings in when it is rented out. At least, I am lucky enough to be able to say that I can afford to pay these taxes (at least for now).  However, if the GOP gets its way, they will bankrupt Social Security and destroy the lives of many Americans living hand to mouth.  With their design to debase the currency, many people who have pensions will become impoverished.  As for me, I have a third leg of retirement assets which they intend to screw up - my 401K which is mostly invested in the stock market.

Unlike most GOP'ers, I feel that taxes are payments for services from the government.  Yes, there is waste.  But Musk's DOGE will not find it.  Instead, they will claim success while destroying the country.  Hopefully, I'll have my escape route ready before America's collapse, and that my "Letters of Transit" will be ready then as well.

Game night: Pleasant, but not exciting (A short post)

 

The most interesting thing on today's docket was game night in Yonkers.  But that's not as exciting as it used to be, as there are fewer and fewer people coming to these bi-monthly sessions.  Part of this is due to the event being taken off the formal Meetup schedule.  And another part is that many of the people who used to attend have found new things to do on Thursday nights.  Soon, I'll have to start looking for new things to occupy my Thursdays, as there are fewer reasons for me to attend any more.

Tonight, I had to hunt for something to wear from my closet.  I have a small number of winter dresses that I can wear as tunics over leggings.  And I had some trouble finding one of them.  But I did find one, and made it out the door in time to fill up my gas take and still make it to Yonkers before the first game of the night.

It was a nice excuse to present as Marian and enjoy myself.  But soon, I expect that this venue will be gone, and I'll have to find something else I can do during the week.  Do I want to volunteer again?  I'm not sure.  My skills were poorly used when I volunteered at one place, and I'm not sure if I want to do it again.  I'd like something more social in nature, but what should I do?  At least I have some time to figure it out.

Upcoming Repairs in two buildings

 

The other day, my brother and I worked on doing a power wash of the foundation on one side of the family homestead. The sickly shade of green is (to the best of our knowledge) is the third layer of paint applied to these walls in the 84 years since the house was built.  While doing the power wash, my brother pointed out pitting on the walls, as well as a crack that needed repair.  And then we got to talking about plumbing issues that needed resolution, the most important of which was the need to have the water heater replaced.  So guess who is driving to Long Island to be there when the plumber arrives?  Me, of course.

I really don't mind driving down to Long Island for work on the house.  What I do mind is that I'll have to be there as Mario, and not as Marian.  And there's nothing I can do about this, given that I'm not going to out myself to my brother, his wife, or my nephew. So, I scheduled another weekend at RQS's place, where I can fix a problem that has existed with RQS's bed since the day it was installed.  

About a year ago, RQS bought an adjustable bed frame when she bought her new mattress.  Unfortunately, the installers gave her a problem about removing the old mattress and bed spring, as well as taking shortcuts in the installation of the new bed frame and mattress. The men claimed that the mattress needed a day or two to breathe before putting on the "bed protector" (think of a mattress protector that envelops the entire mattress on all sides, top and bottom), they didn't bother to install the mattress retainer bar, they didn't give her the manual for the adjustable frame, and they didn't explain what the extra box of parts were for when they departed.  Luckily for her, I bought the same exact bed that she has, and know what has to be fixed and how to do it.  So, this will be another task that can be accomplished on this trip to Long Island.

As you can guess, I try to accomplish more than one thing on each visit to Long Island when I can.  First, it costs me roughly $13-14 to cross an East River bridge each time I go through Queens.  And then, I have a hard time finding a parking spot whenever I use my car to visit RQS.  Although I grew up on Long Island, I wouldn't mind not having to go there again.  It is no longer my home.

 

I have to resist temptation these days.

 

In this uncertain age, I am easily tempted to write more about the crap that is going on in Washington, DC, and what is happening in my life as a transgender person.  It's all too easy to write about the breakdown in the administration of Law and Order, as evidenced by the actions of the Orange Snowflake, his cabinet, "his" congress, and his MAGA supporters.  These people are eager to make us transgender people the first of many whipping girls for the crimes being committed by his regime.  Yet, given how boring a non-op transgender person's life can be, I could easily go on for hours writing about politics, something I don't intend for this blog to be about.

Like many women, I enjoy shopping for, and buying new clothes.  My late wife would be amazed to see how many dresses I have fit in to what was her side of the closet. She'd probably tease me a little and then choose a dress for me to wear out - except when celebrating our wedding anniversary.  It's been almost 30 years since she passed away, and I still miss her presence.  No, I'm not putting her on a pedestal.  She had serious faults.  But I liked her as a person, and I miss the things that attracted me to her.

If I felt that I looked good in female clothing other than dresses, I'd have loaded up my closet with these garments.  Assuming that I lose a dress size or two, I will likely build a more varied feminine wardrobe which includes nicer tops, skirts, and trouser like garments. My ideal life would be to be able to go out in anything from my closet or dresser and only be seen as a woman and not a trans-woman. And this would include being able to travel, present my documents, and have no one hassle me on account of any gender marker on my documents.

This leads me back to politics.  The GOP doesn't give a damn about how it treats transgender people. The GOP congress has written rules for the capitol building which prevents a representative from Delaware from relieving herself in the facilities meant for women.  Should Sarah McBride suffer the indignity of being forced to use the men's room for her bio-breaks?  No.  But this is what the GOP thinks is important right now.

Months ago, my congressional representative, Mike Lawler, NY-17, said that he'd oppose any attempt to harm social security.  Yet, once the "DOGE" department started to decapitate Social Security, all we heard was crickets - he won't oppose anything being done to harm his constituents.  You can guess who is not getting my vote when next he runs.  Strangely enough, he may be looking to run for governor next year.  I hope we have someone strong running against him, with all the financial resources needed to retire him before he can cause even more damage to my district.

My goal is to be able to live as Marian full time and to be able to travel as Marian whenever I want.  Although I'll talk to people who support the GOP, I won't trust them to do the right thing when it counts. So, I'll have to do what I can within the law to stop them from taking away my human rights....

An early lunch with a friend, then killing the rest of the day

 

As much as I didn't want to get up this morning, I wanted to see my friend SJM, as we had a lot to catch up on.  So, when the sun came in my window, I closed my eyes, got out of bed, and headed out of the room for a much needed bio-break.  (Who doesn't, after a good night's sleep?)

Putzing around for the better part of 2 hours, I realized that I had better start getting showered and dressed to go out.  Since I had one more day's wear left for a green dress I wore last week, I decided to put that on today and launder it tonight.  It didn't take long for me to get showered, dressed, and made up to go out. What it did take was a little over 20 minutes for me to make it from my apartment to the far side of Ossining for lunch.  Yet, I still beat SJM to the restaurant.

I opened up by telling SJM of my brother and his recent issues.  And we agreed that he's doing what he has to do, but with a cost.  He's stuck in a Catch-22 situation, and there's not much he can do without abandoning some responsibilities, screwing up family life, or taking risks which would be fool hardy for a person of his age.  And then SJM told me of her husband's health problems (reminded both of us of what RQS is going through) and of the drama with her two sons.  All too soon, we had to end lunch and go our separate ways.

At this point, I figured that I might go to Poughkeepsie and look at what Lane Bryant had in the store for Spring.  Since I've already got an overflowing closet with dresses to go in a donation bag AND a dress coming to me from Universal Standard, I decided to avoid temptation.  Instead, I went to the bookstore and pick up a gift for RQS's birthday.

Since I now had nothing better to do, I decided to drive home and relax.  With a hunk of pizza dough in the fridge, I cut the hunk in half and made myself a 12" cheese pizza.  Yum!  It was far from perfect.  It needed something that wasn't there,  But, Yum!  It sated my appetite.  Once done with the pizza, I did some laundry. Although I have a basket of clothes that still need folding, I have some dresses and shirts which are hang drying.  Tomorrow, they will be hung in the closet where they return.

As for me, I am supposed to go to a meetup tomorrow.  I may go.  And then, I may not.  It all depends on how I feel in the morning.  If my leg is bothering me, I'll take it easy.  If not, I'll go out.

Sometimes, one has to sort through a big mess

 

The above chest was owned by my late wife, and had been here for almost 40 years now.  It is an awkward piece of furniture, as it is not a perfect rectangular shape.  Instead, from the side, it looks like a slice pf pizza after most of the slice has been eaten, leaving only the crust and a little bit of tasty stuff.  It's a solid piece of furniture that has a bit of wear and tear, needing some restoration to make it look nice again.  And it's taken me a while to create a path to access this chest, so that it could go to some needy person.

Why did I mention this?

Well, my computer desk has the same degree of mess that the rest of my apartment has.  And tonight, I ended up emptying it, so that I could toss out CD-Roms for software that I no longer use.  While sorting through the mess, I found several things, including a $50 bill, a book of forever stamps, a bottle of Opium perfume bought on one of my first cruises as Marian, and a few other things.  It's amazing what one might find when one starts to tackle a mess.

As usual, it's 2 steps forward, and one step back.  But it is progress, even if it is imperceptible to others.  Soon, I will go back to eliminating clutter from my closets, and I expect that I will find enough old clothes that I won't use that will go in another donation bag.  Ideally, I will eventually wind up with a capsule wardrobe for both Marian and Mario, having eliminated the stuff I no longer need to wear, want to wear, or enjoy wearing.

It has taken me roughly 40 years to accumulate everything in the apartment.  But I hope that it will take me much less time to clean it up.  Do you know of anyone in the Northern NYC suburbs who'd like to take this chest off of my hands?

My niece just responded to a message from home

 

From my niece:

I have been paying attention. It's been a terrifying thing to watch and it's affecting everything, even things here. It's just really nerve wracking.  My hubby and  and I thought we might go visit soon but I don't know about it. A bit nervous about doing so.

This is the sad state of the world we now live in.  My niece (who is a US Citizen, married to a UK Citizen) is nervous about coming to the US to visit her dad.  What has this world come to?

- - - - - -

In normal times, Canadians would have no problems visiting the USA for 6 months at a time, and returning just soon enough to avoid being a US resident for taxation purposes.  Now, they are being treated like crap. There is a library on the US/Canada border which for years has allowed Canadians to use the US entrance to enter the building.  Now, because of the snowflake's supposed crackdown on illegal immigration and his vendetta against Canada asserting its independence, he wants to make life as miserable for Canadians as he possibly can.

Canadians are extremely unhappy about this.  They have cancelled military purchases from the US, and their people have been boycotting American goods.  Good for them!  I'd do the same if I were Canadian.  How dare the snowflake threaten the independence of what has been one of America's closest friends!  Luckily for Canadians, the boycott is having an effect on targeted American businesses.  And the snowflake is pissed that his bullying isn't getting the results that he wants.

Bullying seems to be the mantra of the current GOP.  The people it attracts are those who do not want to see a complex picture of how society and the economy works.  They want to return to a simpler time where white males made the rules, and all others had to submit to their authority.  They are afraid of any challenges to that authority, and run away from a public for whom they are doing a disservice.  They have called the transgender congresswoman from Delaware, Mr. McBride.  They now tell the public that only a traitor would say that missing a Social Security check or two is wrong.  They now tell the people that it is wrong to criticize the snowflake or to hold him accountable for his actions.  When will this nonsense end?

- - - - - -

But back to my niece....

I have recommended that she and her husband create a set of vanilla social network profiles, and fill them with posts that the snowflake wouldn't mind reading.  Keep everything bland as possible.  And then, carry phones that only reference the bland accounts, and not the ones they normally use.  Use these "safe" phones when visiting the US, and go back to their normal phones after returning home. If things start getting bad, make sure that her husband stays overseas and out of the reach of the US government's CBP personnel. And for her, try to stay away from the US unless absolutely necessary. (I told her to stay home if I die, and explain to her dad I told her to do this for her safety.)

This is a sad day when I have to tell my niece what I did.  But I want for her to stay safe, and this country is no longer safe for foreign residents/citizens who may wish to visit.  

 

 

 

PS: As of the day of this post, I read about a Canadian citizen who was arrested in Georgia by a police officer who claimed that her Canadian drivers license was not valid in Georgia.   Please pass the word to all foreign nationals that the USA is not a safe place to visit right now, as the law enforcement authorities have no check and balance against their own illegal activities.  We are becoming a police state, and I worry for anyone who still values their freedom.

Getting together with my brother to work on the family homestead

 

This is NOT my family homestead.  It is a house that a friend once lived in, and one that was rented out for a while before being sold.  And this will eventually be the fate of my family homestead when the time comes to sell it.  Right now, we're preparing it for our next tenant (whoever that may be).

- - - - - -

My brother expected me to be leaving RQS's house around 11.  I was already in his neighborhood by that time.  This would be important later on, as we'd be working all day on the house.

But first....

I met my brother around 11:15, and we were off to get breakfast.  After downing bagel sandwiches, we were off to Home Depot to get paint and other supplies we would need.  $400 later, we were out of the store and on our way back to the homestead to work in the basement.

Today's work would be messy.  My brother would be power washing the basement/foundation walls, and I'd be vacuuming up the mess with a wet/dry shop vac. For the next 6 hours, we worked non-stop on our tasks.  He'd spray the wall, chipping away at areas which would need patching and resealing, and I'd suck up all the liquid, getting up to empty the shop vac every few minutes.  Both of us were tired by the time 7 pm hit.  I had ruined my trousers beyond repair, but had a change of clothes available for the trip home.  So, I changed into clean clothes, and we went to the diner to chat and eat after a long day together.

My brother had been very thankful that I was there today, as he would never have been able to  have done this work by himself.  I was glad to be there, as it was the rare time I could make a contribution to work needed on the property.  And then, we started to chat about his life, his wife's problems, and his grown-up children.  This was an important chance for him to vent and to see that I'll be there for him as brothers should be.  (He doesn't know I'm TG yet.)

Soon, the day came to and an end, and I drove home after a long day out.....

A short trip to Queens

 

Queens, NY. In some areas, it is as congested as Manhattan Island.  In other areas, it has a lower population density than other suburban areas.  Today's mission was to find a parking spot in a moderately congested part of Queens, and then stay with RQS for a couple of nights.  

But first....

I have been going to the same location to have my taxes done for almost 50 years.  This doesn't mean that I have been going to the same business for 50 years.  For the first 48 of these years, I have used the same tax person that my parents used for their business.  When she retired, she recommended the person who took over the location and opened a new business of her own.  This was my first destination for the day.

To give you an idea of where I was going, Corona is a section of Queens that became predominantly Hispanic over the part 50 years.  It is much more common to hear Spanish being spoken here, and to find people who can't speak English.  I'd bet that a very large portion of the area's residents are illegal, and will soon be terrorized by the Orange Snowflake's crackdown on immigrants, legal and illegal.  Bur I digress.  For now, Corona is still a vibrant community, a region of New York City where I feel safe to visit in the day time.

Normally, it is hard to find a parking spot in Corona. Yet, I easily found one less than 300 feet away from my tax lady's office.  Although I put $2.00 in the meter for 90 minutes, I could have put in only $0.50 for 30 minutes - I was in and out of her office that quickly.  Then it was off to RQS's place.  And that's where the "fun" began.  Or, I should say, that's where I started having a  little bit of bad luck with traffic.

Cross-borough traffic in Queens is terrible, unless one is on a subway line that connects to Manhattan island.  It is easy to go from Flushing to Corona, Corona to Jackson Heights, and Jackson Heights to Long Island City before reaching Manhattan.  But, if one wants to travel from Ridgewood to Flushing, one either has to travel on the NYC Subway to Manhattan then change trains to reach Flushing, or take a bus that slowly winds through narrow streets to reach the same place.  There is no easy way to reach Ridgewood from Corona, and I had to fight Friday afternoon traffic to reach RQS.

A little over 1 1/4 hours later, I was in Ridgewood, and found a parking spot within 10 minutes.  And then, I was at RQS's for the evening. Unlike most trips, this one would be way too short.  I knew I'd be leaving on Sunday.  But, for the next 2 nights, I'd be with RQS.  And that was the most important thing to me.

A more pleasant day, knowing that I'd be playing games tonight.

 

This is the way I wish my face could have looked when I was younger.  I'd have had a full head of hair, a female face, and a friendly, outgoing demeanor.  Instead, I grew up as a male, with all the repression of my authentic self that many transgender people have.

Given America's march towards an unchecked authoritarian regime, I needed something to cheer me up, as I wouldn't be able to present as Marian until next week.  Luckily, it was game night, and I made my trek to Yonkers for a fun night.  And tonight, both host and hostess were there for games, giving me to talk about their TG son after the games ended.

While there, I sent a link to one of our gamers (a leftist) for an article showing how close America is to having a "French Style" revolution.  I know he'll find that interesting when he gets the chance to read it. After the games were over, I had the chance to have a quick chat about the couple's TG son, finding out that almost everyone is trying to treat him with respect.  Something I didn't ask about, but got an answer I was glad to know, was that their son won't be getting any hormone treatments until he is 18.  I then mentioned that I felt they were doing the right thing, as he should be of legal age before making a permanent decision about his life and the body he will live in.

All too soon, it was time to leave.  It was pouring when I made it to my car.  So, I made my usual late night phone call to RQS (albeit, an hour early), while driving to Walmart for a second set of new bed linens. Now, I can alternate between sets on the bed and in the hamper.  I didn't have the time to get to the supermarket as planned, but this wasn't a real problem for me.  I can take care of that on my way back from Long Island this weekend.

In the end, they can't erase history.

 

The above is a photo taken after the Taliban destroyed the Buddhas of Bamiyan.  It was their intent to destroy all depictions of people (real or fictional) to conform with rules from the most regressive form of Islam.  The Taliban didn't care about historic preservation.  Instead, they wanted to erase things from history which didn't fit with their idea of reality.  

Why is this important?

Today, the Orange Snowflake is trying to erase minorities from America and its history.   One of his first actions was to remove the mention of Transgenders from the Stonewall National Historic Monument. Then came the removal of minority and female war heroes on websites in the Pentagon's DEI purge.  Can you imagine winning the war in the Pacific without the Navajo Code Talkers?  What about the Enola Gay?  Even Jackie Robinson was affected by this purge. Some parts of our history will be harder to remove from "official history" than others.  Yet, this is what happens when authoritarians wish to pit one group against another, so that the authoritarian can be the center of power in society.

How many people have read 1984?  Orwell picked up on the capricious nature of dictators by noting that their enemies could change in a heartbeat.  In 1984, during Hate Week, the enemy changed in the middle of Big Brother's speech, and no one batted an eyelash - the thought police were always present to force obedience.

Luckily, we have tools such as the Internet Wayback Machine to help us. But having one set of servers located in the USA isn't good enough to preserve historical records for the future.  We need redundancy in data which can be indexed, with servers located in several sites around the globe where no one government can shut them down for political reasons.  And yet, even without full digital redundancy, much of our history is currently preserved in books, pictures, and both video and audio recordings.  Whatever the Orange Snowflake decides to be erased will likely be returned to digital access when he's gone.  

What can we do to preserve our transgender history?  To me, that's one of the most important tasks we can do to oppose the Orange Snowflake.  In the case of the Stonewall Monument, we can create an alternate website with the full information once on the official site - the Wayback Machine can be a help there.  And then, we can expand on it, archiving the site's contents in places where the Snowflake has no ability to affect it.  At the site itself, we can develop our own leaflets, so that visitors know the real history of the place and why it is important to us.  We can be the models for other groups that the Snowflake wants to remove from history.

So, by our efforts, we can lead the way for other groups to challenge the Snowflake.  Let's do so!

 

PS: I found this link on the right-leaning Drudge Report site:

Trump & Musk Aren't Ready For What They Are Unleashing

We may be closer to a violent revolution than I'd desire.  I've had a feeling that the Snowflake and his band of Bandit Capitalists might trigger something like the French Revolution if they went too far.  And it looks like they might just do so.

 

 

PPS: In the guise of protecting Children from abuse, the Orange Snowflake has issued a proclamation that continues his war against us Transgenders.  If this isn't reminiscent of Central Europe in the 1930's, I don't know what is.  I hope my TG readers are in the process of securing their "Letters of Transit" before the last plane leaves Casablanca.

 

I understand why people feel overwhelmed these days

 

The above picture was taken at a meetup with a group who now has gatherings when I am not free to attend due to scheduling conflicts.  Trying to live life around other's schedules and needs gets exhausting for many, and it's easy to see how many people (like my brother) get overwhelmed by life.  And I got to thinking this morning about how retirement doesn't always free us from our responsibilities to others, and the sacrifices we make to fulfill those responsibilities.

In my case, I've had to make a trade-off - go to meetups, or have a relationship with RQS.  Which would you drop?  If you said RQS, I'd slap you from here to next Tuesday.  She's a keeper.  But this has me run the risk of not being able to travel while I'm able to do so, as her health seems to be on the wane.  Even with healthy eating, her body is betraying her.  Do you think I'd want to give up on travel if something more important would get in the way?

While we're on the subject of travel, most of my readers know that I have often traveled as a female who carries male id.  With the current administration in Washington, I'm not sure of how long I can do this.  All it takes is for some person wanting to impress his supervisors by excessive use of authority to hassle me, and everything could fall apart in my life.  I now have to think whether I should travel as a female for one upcoming cruise I plan to take.

Yet, my problems pale in comparison to others.  For example, my brother's car was totaled (through no negligence of his own - his car was stopped at a light when someone hit him), his job is both life draining and a time suck, his volunteer efforts take up time, he manages the family homestead that we rent out, and he returns to a home which is not a refuge for him. RQS has to manage two life threatening ailments that could both cripple her and cause her to have an early death.  Since both ailments run in both her blood lines, she is scared. And these are only two of the people close to me.  Many others have it much worse than this.

Turning on the TV or radio is no escape, as we are bombarded by the latest atrocities going on in the world.  The orange snowflake keeps trying to destroy the rule of law in the US, while his actions are destroying the security enjoyed by Americans that took generations to build up.  Yes, globalization without a good social safety net has resulted in a lot of broken lives.  But a return to a society where no social safety net exists would be even worse for us.  It's bad enough when one person loses a job.  But when entire states lose large percentages of their work forces due to social, environmental, and economic change, how can people cope?  It's hard to feed, clothe and house one's family if no jobs are available, much less even afford proper health care.  No wonder why many in the "Red States" live in fear of losing what little they have - they have always lived as serfs tied to the estates of nobility which never cared about their subjects.

 

If I were speaking to an audience of "Minorities" who complain about being victimized, I'd say 

Get over it!

This does not mean to ignore those things that drain your soul.  Instead, I want for people to conquer their problems and take control over what they can in their lives.  We can not control what life puts in our way.  But we can control how we react when we encounter these problems.  Yet, sometimes, taking charge may involve doing the unthinkable.  Years ago, the wife of a close friend was dying of the same type of cancer which claimed my wife's life.  When she could no longer swallow any food and was in constant untreatable pain, she had to make an impossible decision - do I choose life or do I choose death?  Many people would tell her to get doped up for the pain, and live the rest of her few remaining days in hospice without any quality of life.  Without children to care for and a husband who could live without her, she chose to end her life while it still had meaning for her.  (I was with her husband when this happened.)  I don't know if I could have done what she did.  But I hope I could do it, instead of wasting away in a hospital bed, burning money that I'd rather go to my heirs.

 

Please note that I first focused on the exception to my rule instead of the rule I apply to my life. I feel that it is my duty to try and conquer what problems life puts in front of me.  It's hard enough getting by these days.  And for my transgender friends who read this blog, I say: 

 Don't Give Up!  

This too shall pass.

Some people may have to bear a heavier load in life than others.  But you don't have to break under the pressure.  Try to set limits.  Ration your media consumption.  Avoid "Friends" who are "Debbie Downers".  Find people and places which recharge your batteries when you are around them.  Even if you can't limit your responsibility to a ailing relative or friend, you must find time to nurture yourself. Just keep looking for hope, and you shall find it.