By the time I got to try it on, it was sold out.

 

I was trying to find this dress at Lane Bryant, so that I could try it on and make a decision whether to buy it or not. Although the blue dress is in stock, the dress above is not.  This means that I may end up buying a different dress from Avenue in a similar color, or buy this dress in a different color.

It's just as well that they didn't have this dress in stock.  If it had been, I might have bought it on an impulse.  Over a quarter century since my late wife died, I understand the allure of shopping for new clothes.  It's fun to decorate yourself in new ways - something most men do not understand.  Although I can say no to most impulse purchases, there are a few items that shout "Buy Me!" that are very hard to resist.  And I've been lucky NOT to fall prey to too many of these purchase opportunities.

Given that my closets are overflowing with clothes, I think I got lucky in NOT being able to buy this dress....

- - - - - -

On other matters, the son of someone I know just earned his medical degree.  Congratulations!   Too bad that I will forever be on the outs with his mom.  Yet, when I was coming home from the store tonight, I asked myself - what did I like about this woman?  And the one answer that came up was that I thought that she accepted me as I am.  Yes, I ruined our friendship.  But in her angry attacks over the past 2 1/2 years, I found out what she really thought of me.  We didn't have that much in common.  But I liked her anyway.

- - - - - - 

Going to Lane Bryant, I had an hour long chat with TCL.  Towards the end, I told her of a conversation I had with FH, documented in a prior entry.  TCL agrees with me about FH - and I didn't even tell TCL who I was talking about.  Sadly for FH, she will never understand why I didn't jump at the opportunity to be her "Plus 1" for a wedding she's attending next weekend.  I can't imagine having to get dressed up to go to a party where I know no one but my partner and put my relationship with RQS at risk.

Thinking of RQS, I mentioned our minor problems in Washington, DC.  TCL realized that we passed an early test of whether a relationship is good or not.  We were able to deal with a situation of moderate stress and work together well to resolve a problem.  I still keep my fingers crossed each time we may encounter another situation that could cause us some grief.  Hopefully, we'll keep passing these tests as time goes on....

The difference between two friends.

 

 

Today, I sent a picture of RQS to TCL and Vicki and got two very different types of responses.  Unlike most of  my posts, I plan to adapt the normal format to account for two different conversation threads....

- - - - - -

I started out by sending a picture of RQS to my two friends.  She was wearing a purple coat and colorful leggings.  Vicki responded with:

Pretty. Love all the purple and colors. Makes me think she's a fun person 

 

We then talked about where RQS and I were meeting, with nary a mention of RQS's background.  Contrast this with TCL's responses:

Does she know you took the picture and sending it to me?
What does she think about you wanting to send it to me?
What ethnicity is she?
Is she taking a picture of you? I see she's holding a cell phone.

Notice the difference?  Vicki is focused on who RQS is, while TCL is concerned about whether I have permission to send the picture to her and what ethnicity RQS identifies as.  Who do you think is the more accepting person?

I'll admit that RQS is far outside of the type of person I usually find attractive and want to date.  My wife (and most of the women I've dated in middle age) was a "dirty blonde", and I am attracted to women with this color hair.  RQS is anything but.  This is not the time and place where I plan to tell my readers more about her.  But both of us are surprised that we get along together so well....

Now my telephone chats are getting in the way of posting here

 

Now that I have a life, I have lost some of the time I usually spend blogging.  As a result, I feel that the length of my entries has gotten shorter, but reflect more of what's gone on in my life.

Since it looks like RQS is going to be a long term girlfriend, I'd like to find a way to keep CWS as simply a female friend. The way we have gotten along so far, this might be possible, as so much of her life has been dedicated to the care of people not related to her.  If it isn't possible, it made sense for me to delay making a decision between these women as long as possible.

The last time I had a regular nightly call with a woman other than TCL (who is a platonic friend), it was with MWL.  I'm hoping things work out between me and RQS, as I'd hate to go through their early stage of dating again.  But only time will tell - and her reaction to seeing me in person as Marian for the first time. 

- - - - - -

If I had more time, I would have been writing about how a problem I see between two people reflects at a micro level a problem I see between nations.  Hopefully, I will get the chance to write that post over the weekend.

It's 13 o'clock!

 

One TG person I know describes her height as 5' 13 1/2".  It's a fun way of saying that she's 6'1 1/2".  Of course, 1 foot has only 12 inches, but most people will understand the joke and make the translation without much thought.  Today, I was in a situation where one person said that it was 1:12 pm, and I responded that it was 12:72 pm - and this caused another person to defend his reality that it could only be 1:12 pm.

- - - - - -

I have mentioned that we have a motley crew of diverse employees where I work.  As much as I'll joke that they could train monkeys to do our jobs, but PETA would sue them for animal abuse, I respect the firm for giving all the people working here an opportunity to earn a needed salary.  It is a good place for people who are not able to climb the corporate ladder (for whatever reason), but it is not a place for an ambitious young person to spend more than a year or two earning money to pay for college expenses. Some of the people we have hired are on the autism spectrum, and it was one of these employees who protested that it was 1:12 pm when we were joking that it was 12:72 pm.  The other person in on this joke was having fun with me, as he was comfortable with my response to him giving the time.  After 30 seconds or so, I found myself explaining to the fellow with autism that the two of us were joking with each other, knowing that we were breaking the rule that an hour only has 60 minutes.

Strangely enough, I wonder what goes on in this man's mind.  Does he need the certainty of having only ONE way of describing the world to function effectively in it?  What does this mean at a larger social level?  Could conservatism and adherence to religious dogma be related to this trait that has manifested in this person in this way?  Could the need for religion be a result of our species need to have a single explanation for everything that happens in the universe?

I remember a conversation with TCL where she was asking a lot of questions as to why something was going on.  It was frustrating, as the answer to many questions like this may only be: "it just is, because random chance may have made it this way."  And in the case of myself, I think growth came because I didn't have to accept either a fixed dogma or an unanswered question for what it provides me.

Being lazy can be so refreshing.

 

I've been trying to find the dress in this picture amongst the clothing in my storage containers.  Sadly, I either donated it by accident, or it is hopelessly lost amongst things I've tossed away.  After letting my apartment go to hell for the better part of two years, I've been slowly working my way through all the clutter in my place.

- - - - - -

After doing nothing all day yesterday, I thought I'd have the energy to get a bit done today.  Surprise!  I had even less energy than yesterday.  I was barely able to get myself moving until 4 pm.  And then, I got a call from TCL that lasted 2 hours.  (I really didn't want to stay on this long, but something happened that she needed to talk about - and we did just that.)  But this got in the way of my plans to shop at Wegmans, and then call for NCL for information on the Hawaii cruise I plan on taking.

Once done with TCL, I got showered and dressed, and off to White Plains for food shopping. On my way home, I called MWL to keep in touch.  Like me, she did a lot of nothing today, save that she took down some of her Xmas decorations.  It was a pleasant chat, and she told me how Covid (Omicron) is affecting her lately. Like CWS (and my new friend, RQS), MWL isn't going much of anywhere these days.  Almost all my friends are afraid of the Omicron variant.

I never accomplished two of the things I wanted to do today - Laundry and Calling NCL for cruise information.  Yet, I'm comfortable with what little I did today.  I've needed to rest for a while, and I've gotten two days of needed rest this weekend.

 

Meanderings

I don't own this dress anymore.  When I bought it, I thought it would look nice on me.  However, my style has changed a lot since then, and I no longer shop just for things that fit me.  Instead, I try to choose garments that both fit well and make me look pretty.

Why do I mention this?

My place was never as bad as it is now while I was seeing my last serious girlfriend.  I've more than documented the disastrous end to that relationship and the loss of two friendships when I could have used them most.  So I won't go into talk about the past, save that I miss having company now and then.  Right now, I have 5 large bags of clothes in my living room which have to go to charity.  And I want to do this (and more) before I have a woman come to this apartment.  It's been over 2 years since I've had a guest here, and I'd like to make it presentable for someone new - preferably before New Year..

Today, I talked to TCL on my way home and I was reminded about why a relationship never clicked between the two of us.  One might say that she is too smart for her own good.  But that alone wouldn't be an issue.  Instead, she is both too judgemental and wanting too much to tell others about what she thinks is the correct way to do things. For example, I mentioned  the issue with Amazon's last mile delivery, and she said that I should have dropped the mis-delivered packages off at the correct apartments. Since I was in a rush, I alerted one of the neighbors that her package was mis-delivered, and asked her to pick up the packages bound for her doorway.  She did not do that.  She was focusing on what she would have done, and not my telling of the story.  And that can be off-putting when one has to deal with it every day.

Given everything, I'm leery of buying anything from Amazon during this holiday season.  Yet, I just had two packages come that I ordered two days ago - each from different companies.  The first was a bigger box that contacted 3 packages of disposable makeup wedges.  The other contained two rolls of clear medical adhesive tape.  Both these things are in short supply at Walmart, Target, and local drug stores. But I could get them through Amazon.  And I will have a big enough supply before I'm on my cruise without worrying whether the brick and mortar stores will restock them in time for the cruise.  (I can still remember when Walmart had no house brand exfoliating makeup remover wipes in their stores, and going to buy out the last of the remaining stock in a nearby store.)  

There's a part of me that wishes there was a way to reconcile with the former cruise partner (FCP).  Yet there's another part that doesn't want to deal with her anymore.  We once had a "sail away" inside cabin (or ocean view cabin) which was directly below a lounge area.  She couldn't deal with the bands making music above our cabin until 11:00-11:30 pm, preventing her from relaxing.  So she hectored "hotel staff" on the ship until she got a satisfactory substitute - a balcony cabin.  I'd have accepted the original room, as we let the cruise line pick the room before sailing and they delivered on their side of the contract.  Although we got a nicer room, I didn't like how we got it.  And this would bother me if I had to deal with her again in any close relationship.  Sometimes, a person has to accept a "no" on minor things, so that s/he can demand a 'yes" on the important ones.

In short, I'm finding that I hate pushy people.  I don't like being pushed around, and will push back hard when pushed.  Sometimes, being pushy is appropriate for the matter at hand.  But when someone is too pushy for too long, I lose my tolerance for that person.  So far, TCL knows that limit with me.

 

I can't believe I stayed awake all day.

 

Today's post will be short and brief - just like the sleep I had last night.

For some unknown reason, I kept waking up throughout the night.  So I made sure to have two cups of coffee before leaving the house AND made sure to keep enough coffee in my caffeine stream to prevent blood from making me sleepy.  Even though I was getting tired throughout the day, I wasn't as sleep as I could have been.  Maybe it was the knowledge I was going to have an impromptu dinner with Vicki in Tarrytown.

Getting from Elmsford to Tarrytown via the back road isn't as easy as it used to be.  DOT is replacing the Route 100B/9A overpass, and has routed bypass traffic onto the street I work on.  So if you don't know which way to exit our lot, you could spend 15 minutes getting into a place where you could go West from Route 9a  - and that's exactly what happened to me. I made it to Tarrytown shortly after Vicki was freed up from her appointment, and we had a nice dinner at Leftris, our go-to place for Greek food.  It was hard to believe that we were finished with dinner before 6:30pm.  From that point, my phone was ringing like the switchboard at Grand Central Station.

First, it was my brother.  Then, it was TCL.  After this, I made a call to MWL.  And finally, a call from FH to discuss our Friday plans.  I also received a text from my friend from the Yonkers gaming group noting that I forgot about Trivia night.  Maybe, if I can get some sleep, I'll be able to attend the next session....

I got nothing done this evening - except answering the phone

 

This morning, my "smart watch" told me that I only slept 4 hours.  So I knew that I'd be fighting to stay awake all day - which I did.  But I didn't know that I'd be on the phone all evening.

- - - - - -

Going to work as Marian adds about 30 minutes to my daily routine.  As Marian, I need to shave all over to remove all traces of masculine hair, and then do my makeup.  Mario doesn't need to do this.  So I lose a half hour of sleep every day I go to work.  And when I have only 4 hours of sleep, I become a zombie for much of the day.  In order to avoid big screw-ups, I double check much of the work I do while doing it, and after it's done.  So far, this has worked out for me, but I feel wasted at the end of the day.

I went shopping after leaving work, and stopped into both Target and Kohl's before going home.  With a quick stop at Shoprite to pick up lunch and dinner for the next two days, I received a call from Vicki on my (now) short drive home.  After unloading my bags, I got a call from TCL.  Then, just as I was falling asleep, TCL wanted to chat again. And finally, it was time for my nightly chat with MWL.  Not much done at all - even though I had 17 things on my to-do list.  

Sooner or later, I must take care of ALL the things on this evolving list.  But first, it's time for me to go to bed....

I'm Tired!

"I'm Tired."  It's hard to believe that this song still makes me chuckle in the decades after "Blazing Saddles" was released.  It's tame enough that it could be played on broadcast TV.  Yet, the best gags are adult in nature.  

- - - - - -

If I weren't working a full time job, I'd be able to go to sleep late at night, and wake up when I feel rested.  This is not the case.  I have to be in at 8:00 am, and then make it look like I'm fully conscious until I leave for the day.  Today was a little worse than usual.  I had an interrupted sleep the night before, and I was finding it harder than usual to stay reasonably conscious.

When the day ended, I had to rush home to deal with a problem with my cable bill/payment, and rushed home to change before going to the cable store.  And even then, I couldn't get the problem resolved....  I may have made things worse by issuing a second payment on the account to bring it somewhat current, as the fellow at the store gave me an issue about this second payment.  

Payments: 

09/20 - $275 (not processed by cable)
10/04 - $300 (not processed by cable - I wasn't sure of exact amount and wanted to overpay.)
10/07 - $275 (processed by cable, not yet recorded at the bank.)

The first two payments were issued from my main bank's portal. The third was made from the cable company portal, drawn on a second bank.  

So now, I have to bring records from the 2 banks, plus a screen print from the cable company's site to the cable store to see what can be done.  This is going to be a big pain in the ass for me tomorrow, as I have to go to Mavis for car service, to a vaccination center for a Covid booster shot, and then to the cable store.  And after all of this, I go to see MWL!  

- - - - - -

Why do I mention MWL right now?  Tonight, we were far from the same wave length when I wanted to talk about this problem.  She wasn't trying to over analyze the problem as TCL does.  But she was being fatalistic in ways that bother me.  (I'm having a hard time trying to describe her "ethnic" style of communication, but it's a style that bothered me with Ex-GF-M.)  When I see her, I'll have to apologize for being a little testy when talking with her, as I was not in the best of moods....

 

I was supposed to go out to dinner but....

I was supposed to go out for dinner today.  Sadly, my friend called to tell me that her dog was very sick, and that she was bringing it to a 24x7 animal hospital.  So our dinner date was cancelled.  Even sadder, the dog had to be put to sleep. If I could have known this was going to happen around 10 am, I'd have gotten showered and dressed, then go into NYC to visit MoMA.  I guess that I'll be doing this next weekend.

Years ago, I had to put a cat to sleep.  Although I wasn't attached to the cat, this was the right thing to do.  It's even harder to put an animal down when one is attached to that animal.  This is one of the reasons why I might never own an animal again.  I don't want the responsibility of looking out for the best interest of an animal again.

Instead of going out for dinner, I ended up chatting with TCL, then going to Stew Leonard's to pick up my lunches for the week.  If I had a feminine face (without makeup on), I'd have dressed as Marian.  However, getting dressed as Mario made it possible for me to get out the door on time to have a leisurely walk through the store.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to do my laundry for the week, so I'll have to take care of that when I get home tomorrow.

What a bland and boring day....
 

 

I am disgusted at what America has become

 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about non-transgender issues.  A former friend triggered some thinking about favors and about interpersonal relationships.  My exhaustion at work has gotten me to think about my own mortality.  The daily news has gotten me to think about the nation America is becoming - and I have gotten disgusted.

The other day, TCL talked about a book club whose meeting she was going to attend.  TCL is much more concerned about the Covid-19 virus than many people, and she would prefer to do things outside with people as long as the weather permits.  The book club leader scheduled an indoor meeting at which she planned to go maskless.  This bothered TCL, so she suggested meeting outdoors, as it was going to be a nice day. When the book club met, all the people save one had been vaccinated. Although the one person didn't give her vaccination status, claiming it was a personal matter, we both think she wanted to hide the fact she didn't get her arm stuck.

It seems that most people in the most heavily vaccinated areas are proud to mention their vaccination status, and it has become an indicator of one's political stance.  Although many Republicans have had their arms stuck, there is a correlation between being unvaccinated and being both a registered Republican and Trump Supporter.  In the case of the book club leader, she comes from a highly Republican part of town.  Luckily, TCL was able to get the library to remind the book club leader that masks were required indoors, and that no exceptions would be made.

The above incident ended in an acceptable way.  No one got hurt, and everyone wore a mask.  But what happens when unvaccinated tourists attempt to go out to eat in a NYC restaurant?  Recently, 3 unvaccinated Texans attempted to do just that at Carmine's and started a fight with the hostess who only did her job - ask to inspect the potential patrons' proofs of vaccination.  The hostess was sent to the hospital, while the 3 Texans only got charged with misdemeanors.  If I were the proprietor of the restaurant, I'd have come out with a baseball bat and stopped the fight with extreme prejudice.  My justification would be simple - I have to protect both my staff and my patrons to the best of my ability. Mind you, I don't think my actions would pass muster with a lawyer.  But they might pass muster with a NYC jury.

We are now a country of two warring tribes.  One gives a damn about what happens to their neighbors, and will make sacrifices to keep them whole.  The other tribe is selfish, and doesn't care about what their actions and policies do to people who don't agree with them.  Luckily, Covid-19 is much more likely to kill an unvaccinated person than a vaccinated person.  Maybe, we'll have proof that Darwinian selection can help with issues like this, and we can again have a nation I can be proud of.

 

 

 

PS: I've heard of an alternate explanation for the incident at the restaurant which puts the Texans in a much different light.  The fight may not have been started by the three women at first, but when their husbands met them at the restaurant.  I'll post more on this incident when I have more information....

 

 

It's amazing how little information I retain these days.

The title of today's entry is misleading, as it leaves out the context of how one memorizes things.  In my case, I have driven to a particular town in Jersey many times, and I could get there very easily from TCL's house.  However, since MWL takes a different way to the same town via back roads, I can't seem to remember the route because I'm not driving the route.

In the past, I didn't need to develop a form of mental muscle memory for routes from one town to another.  Now, I have to drive them a couple of times to pick up on the details my subconscious needs to know to do the route by myself.  This makes me worry a little about whether my memory is starting to betray me.  But I'm remembering enough things to make me realize that things are normal for a person my age, and that it'll take much more for me to be at risk for major or rapid cognitive decline.

There's a part of me that wishes I could selectively forget things.  Yet, in many ways, I'm glad I can't forget some things.  Forgetting things makes it possible to make the same mistakes again.  And I don't want that.  When I started going out as Marian, I needed encouragement and help to continue doing so.  For this, I will take a former friend for being there when I needed her.  Although there was one person who said I should be proud of what I accomplished, I feel sad that this person couldn't accept me for the person I became.  These are the types of memories I'd like to forget.

- - - - - -

Yet, I ask myself: "What would happen if I go further down this path?"  Would I want to forget more of my past, and manufacture a new one for public consumption?  That I will never know. All I can say that I wish I had a roadmap for the future.  And this doesn't exist yet.

 

Conversations

 

A while back, someone asked me not to mention our conversations.  For the most part, I have complied with this person's request.  Yet, the underlying issues we discussed go unresolved.  Today, I feel that we will sever the last link between us in the near future.  If that happens, I plan to discuss what I've kept under wraps only for courtesy reasons.

But enough of that for now.

One of the reasons I am concerned about conversations with women I've dated is to see if there is a natural give and take between the two parties.  I could never live with someone like TCL, as she runs on at the mouth sometimes, and rarely gives way to let the other person speak.  Women like FH are opinionated, and are not that open minded.  My former cruise partner appeared to be open minded until I screwed up our friendship, and then her true views started to come out.  As much as you can't judge a book by its cover, you can judge the quality of a person by the quality of conversation he/she is able to make.

There are many qualities of conversation.  For example, people feel most comfortable when chat flows easily, and that any "challenge" is within acceptable levels.  For example, guys bantering around talking sports may argue whether Babe Ruth or Willie Mays was the greatest baseball player.  (For the record, I say Babe Ruth is the greatest "all around" ball player, as he could pitch as well as he could hit.  If he stayed a pitcher, he likely would have achieved his place in Cooperstown on his pitching record alone.)  But when a person feels that he/she is out of his/her league, then things get awkward.

Friendly conversation does not come natural to me.  I do not have the social skills which attract many people.  Is it body language, conversation topics, or intensity of conversation?  That I'll likely never know. The one time I mentioned this issue to my former therapist, he dismissed it, focusing on my issues with food.  (He was an alcoholic in recovery, and saw everything life through that one lens.  I knew that there was much more to life than focusing on my food addiction, and was secretly glad when this man retired.) If I could live my life over, I'd have gone into therapy at an early adult age, focused on getting more education, looked for ways to develop my social skills, and looked for mentors to help me in my career growth.

My ex girlfriend's dinner group (the one she fought so hard to keep me out of) consists of a lot of single people.  So far, I've seen 3 of the regulars show up in my dating feeds.  Obviously, we wouldn't be good matches.  It would have been interesting had I been able to go there (in either of my modes) when my ex wasn't in attendance. That's water under the bridge, and I hope she's happy with the results of her campaign.  As for me, I'm living in the present and focusing on having nice chats with people from other groups.  At least in these groups, I've been made to feel welcome.

Will I ever be able to have a conversational style that makes me able to have a good chat with almost anyone?  I doubt it.  But it's a nice goal to have....

Dating is such a pain in the ass

 

My ex broke up with me shortly before the pandemic struck, and it was all downhill for a while.  When I received a hurtful email on my birthday, I knew that I could either continue to make things worse for myself and others, or to figure out a way to start healing.  In many ways, the less I say about the ex, the better.  So I will focus on the healing process.

- - - - - - 

A long time ago, I dated TCL.  And we decided to be "just friends" shortly afterwards.  Why did I not pursue a relationship with her?  She's the type of person who will meander from topic to topic, getting lost in the process.  In a way, it's like a programmer tracing code through a series of "nested IF statements" and getting lost in the depths of the statements.  TCL has to be interrupted in order for you to get a word in, and I don't think she realizes she does this.  If I don't get the chance to speak once in a while, I get bored.  Who wants to be bored by a person one might want to live with someday?  She was typical of many of the women I dated before meeting my ex girlfriend - all had one obvious trait that would get under my skin.

- - - - - -

My personal ad was out before the pandemic struck, but I met FH shortly after people were told they could meet outdoors while wearing masks.  No one really know how the virus spread in those days, and I can still remember driving FH home from the heart of Forest Hills.  She wasn't perfect, but she was better than having no one to keep busy with on weekends. However, this doesn't say much about FH.  She's an educated woman who was always commenting on her crazy family.  As the old saying goes, "it takes one to know one."  I'll always wonder if she asked herself whether she was as crazy as her siblings.  From what I can tell from her brother, he is a product of his environment and of his news bubble.  FH lives within NYC limits, and her brother in the suburbs. She's a Democrat, and he's a Republican.  Both siblings often see each other through a political lens.  Needless to say, I've heard her make incendiary statements about all Republicans.  Although they may be true of many in the GOP, it would be unfair to paint them all using the same brush.  Sadly, she's a person who doesn't know how to let things drop - and one has to do this in order to have a successful relationship.

During this time, I met FL, and we had a few dates before she backed away.  Of course, she was spooked by me as Marian, and broke up with me before we things got too serious.  FL and I are still friends, and we get along well.  Unfortunately, she now lives too far away for me to visit on a regular basis. 

But there were other women. GS lives in the Hudson Valley, and we had a handful of dates before the weather got cold.  There was no real chemistry between us, but my female presentation wasn't an issue for her.  Instead, I think that her financial situation was precarious due to the pandemic, and she had bigger problems to worry about than dating.

I won't go through the whole list here, but I've gotten to hate having to learn a bit about a person, only to forget it later on.  I want to spend my time building memories with someone who cares for me.  Maybe that's why I said I wasted 5 years dating one woman - I have only so much time left to build memories, and I hate wasting time before I find that person I can build memories with.

- - - - - -

Lucky, the pandemic seems to be easing off, and things are slowly returning to "normal".  Hopefully, some nice women will "swipe right" on my profile, and that one of them is a good match for me, and me for her....

My arm was stuck again, and I'm feeling great ...so far

 

There is no way I'm going to post MY vaccination card online.  A completed card (unlike the one in the above photo) will note who gave you the shot, when the shot was given, which vaccine was used for the shot, and which lot number the shot came from.  In my case, I have given two doses of the Pfizer vaccine that were given at the Yonkers Armory, 3 weeks apart.  Soon, I'll be able to meet with some friends (already vaccinated) that I haven't seen in way too many months.

But first, I have to deal with going to work every morning, when I don't really want to get out of bed....  

 

Today started with me waking up later than usual.  I had told my boss that I'd be coming in after I'd been vaccinated, and this allowed me the luxury of getting up late.  And getting up at 8:30, instead of 6:00, was a great pleasure.  With a leisurely cup of coffee, I scanned my email and renewed my prescriptions.  

Instead of going to the office then going to get vaccinated, I took it easy and went straight to the vaccination site.  However, I was running a few minutes later than planned, so I decided to pick up something on the way to the office.  Unlike 3 weeks ago, I took the exact route that Google Maps' Navigation suggested.  But I knew that the return trip would be on a different route.  First, there was a lot of construction on the way down, and I didn't want to hit those traffic jams.  Second, I planned to pick up food at a local Mickey D's.  That didn't go as planned.  Instead, I ended up going to a Dunkin' Donuts for a totally forgettable breakfast sandwich.  At least, I got to work only 5 minutes later than planned.

After work, I stopped off at Target for a while, then went to Boston Market to pick up a "Buy One, Get One Free" dinner.  While on the way, TCL looked up the specifics of the offer - it applied only to Chicken based dinners.  Even then, they were still making a slight profit selling a whole chicken (2 half chicken dinners), with 2 sides for each dinner.

Arriving home, one of my neighbors called me looking to get in contact with the president of the co-op.  I don't know what she wanted, but I don't want her talking about me.  (I often forget to put my mask on upon entering a common space when getting home.)  Since our president has private phone numbers, I will not give them out.  Nor will I pass on the message.  Any complaints this woman has can go through our managing agent's site representative.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow is a day where I'm expected to show up at 8:00 am.  If I feel good, I'll go in.  If not, I'll take a needed rest....

I woke up early, and wished I could wake up late

 

Last night, I went to sleep early in an attempt to recharge after a long weekend.  However, my body clock had its own way, and woke me up almost 2 hours earlier than I wanted.  So, again, I was barely awake as I did my job in the morning, and became more awake as the day went on.

As Covid-19 worries recede into the past, people are starting to go in to their offices again.  This means that there is much more traffic on Route 9a heading South, and many more times that traffic will get screwed up by either an accident or a series of ultra slow moving vehicles.  (Garbage trucks and cement mixers come to mind here.)  So, getting out of the house by 7:15 may not be a viable choice anymore, if I want to get to work on time with time enough to get my breakfast sandwich.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should have taken this job in Mario mode.  I feel much better in a feminine presentation these days.  (I'm not uncomfortable as Mario.  I simply prefer to go out in the world as Marian, as I feel freer in a woman's role than in a man's role.)    The extra 30 minutes it takes for me to get ready to go out in the world as Marian is a small price for me to pay.

After work, I chatted with TCL, and then with FH.  However, I never made it to call any of the other women on my list, as I didn't have it in me to chat much.  Yet, I made it to my Tuesday night Zoom meeting with my friends in Texas.  This left me with no time to take care of any of the other items on my to-do list.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a day that I can catch up on things....

The first part of the day was a dud....

 

Yes, a rainy morning puts a damper on doing things outside.  Given yesterday's activities, I only had enough energy to do laundry on a dreary day.  So that's what I did.

- - - - - -

After I had the chance to wake up, one of my newer acquaintances gave me a call, and suggested that we meet for an early dinner. And that we did, out in Jersey.  Too bad that I couldn't stop by TCL's place afterwards. But that's another story.

I hope that I will be able to see my new friend again.  We have similar ideas about what is needed in a good relationship.  However, there are drawbacks which could get in the way of things.  So we'll see what happens in the long term.

- - - - - -

Later on, I received a text from FCM.  She wanted to get together again. So I'll have to figure out some time that I can squeeze her into my schedule.

I was looking forward to some lobster, and I almost missed it.

 

The above picture was taken at the site of a former country club in my area.  Doesn't the place look serene?  Well, the bulk of the property has been converted into a nondescript upper middle class housing development, and this is the only part of the site that looks as it did when I moved here almost 40 years ago.

You might be asking, why was I here to take this photograph?  Well, the answer is related to the picture below:

I've been looking to catch up with one of the food trucks from Cousins Maine Lobster for months now, and this was a golden opportunity I couldn't miss.  One of their many trucks was sited less than 10 minutes from home.  So I decided to go a little out of my way for a bit of lobster and some clam chowder.

I was talking with my friend Valerie on the way home, and overshot my normal exit on the way home to keep from losing the phone connection in a back roads dead spot.  And this made me forget about the reason I was taking this route in the first place.  As a result, I stopped into Chipolte for a burrito.  Yet, I was lucky.  They prepared my order as if to go, and I wasn't happy with the idea of eating it there.  So I brought home half a burrito to eat tomorrow.  While on the way home, I remembered the food truck, and stopped by the former golf course to pick up the bite to eat that I originally wanted.  This was worth my effort.  The clam chowder was good, but the lobster roll was great!  I'll definitely look for this truck again when it's in my area.

After I finished my dinner, I settled down to relax.  First, Vicki called me.  And then TCL called me.  By the time I was done with the phone, it was almost midnight and I had to post this entry.  Luckily, I was already prepared to tell a quick story about the food truck - all I needed to do is find out how good the lobster roll was....

I woke up as the day went on....

 

Getting up in the morning is often a hard thing for me.  If I wake up early after going to sleep late, it's going to take several cups of black coffee to keep me awake enough to do my job.  Today was one of those days.

- - - - - -

I woke up early this morning, and didn't have enough sleep.  So, when I arrived at work, I was both sleep and caffeine deprived.  This meant that by the time my boss came in at 9:00 am, I was struggling to keep my eyes open enough to do enough of my job to justify my salary.  Thankfully, 10:00 am came quickly, and I rushed into the break room to ingest 2 cups of coffee into my caffeine stream.  By the time lunch time came, the caffeine kicked in, and I was able to make it through the rest of the day without incident.

Once home, I was wide awake, and left a message for Vicki to thank her for her help last night. I knew what I had to send to WDS, and knew that I had to be prepared to visit him if asked.  (I didn't realize that I sent the email to TCL instead of WDS last night.  So I sent it to him this evening.)  Since her husband was going up to "the farm", she was free to go out to eat. so we went to a Chinese restaurant that I used to go to with my former cruise partner.  

Vicki and I talked about a variety of things, WDS not being one of them, as we talked that through the night before.  The big thing was to give me ideas on how I could dress for summer at my office.  And I think I'll work with those ideas to find out what will look good on my body, as well as appear appropriately feminine while presenting as Marian.

A day I could sleep late

 

 

 

This was a day where I had the option of getting up late, and I took advantage of it.  Originally, FH and I were supposed to out for a nice dinner at the Milleridge Inn on Long Island,but her stomach was feeling a little queasy, so we made other plans for the evening.  However, I'll be picking up dinner on the way down, as well as stopping at the pharmacy to pick up some meds for FH.

Every little thing conspired to add time to the front end of my day, and I took advantage of it by doing laundry shortly after I got up - around 11 am.  This frees up some time tomorrow, so that I can go to an Easter Dinner with the FTF Meetup group in Connecticut without worrying about having to do laundry when I get home.  

 

This is the second week in a row that FH has not been feeling well.  Last week, her GI Tract was forcing her to stay near a rest room all the time we were at Wegmans.  Today, she was getting over another problem which may have been related to food poisoning the night before.  Normally, I wouldn't think this an issue.  But TCL planted a tickler that hasn't yet gotten out of my mind.  Could she be looking for an opening to start looking for someone "better"?  If so, then I hope she drops the hammer sooner than later, as this will free up my Saturdays for other activities.

 

If FH weren't in the picture for this evening, I'd likely have gone for a walk on the Harlem Valley Rail Trail.  It would have been a perfect day to have gone out for a walk.  I wasn't going to drive 60+ miles North, then drive another 100+ miles South for an evening date.  Could I have done something local?  Yes, but I relished my sleep.  So, if the weather is good tomorrow morning, I might do something along the Putnam Rail Trail before showering, shaving, etc. to make myself look good for the FTF meetup to be held later that day.

One thing I know about tomorrow: Most of the day will be spent as Marian.  And that's a good thing.  I should be able to do my nails again before dinner, and look as pretty as possible when I see these people for the first time in months.

 

A question came to mind: Do I mind presenting as Mario?  The answer is no, but it's because I'm making a trade off when I do so.  I wouldn't give up being Marian part time.  But I'd retain the ability to be Mario part time if it meant I could have a healthy romantic life.  Last night, I had to strip off my nail polish for tonight's evening with FH.  And I didn't mind doing this to be with her.  I just wonder what's going on in her head....