Another Weekend with RQS - Day 2

Today was spent in Mario mode.   

Neither RQS nor I was interested in getting dressed and going outside in the hot weather.  As I've said, I'll always make sure that she has Mario for a male partner.  So we kept ourselves busy by sorting through clothes I had in storage containers, and put half of them into donation bags to go to a local charity when I get around to making a donation.

Once we were done with this task, it was time to go out and brave the weather.  I was envious of RQS, as she could dress much more comfortably than I could for this weather.  So we tried to pick up a pair of trousers from the tailor, but the shop closed 15 minutes before we got there.  It was off to get a bite to eat, and that we did - trying out Smash Burger for the first time.  There's not much more that I can say, save that they make yummy burgers and fries.

On the way home, I jokingly suggested that we go for a Mani-Pedi together.  She thought for a second, and said sure.  Two weekend days as Marian!  Yay!!!!  (What more can a bi-gendered or transgender "boyfriend" want?)  Eventually, we made it back home for the night, and watched TV in air conditioned comfort....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 1

 

I'm afraid that I accidentally donated this dress several months ago.  When I showed RQS this picture, she noted that it was a good look for me, and that she'd keep an eye out for it as we looked through my storage bins this weekend.

But first....

As I've noted, I now arrive ar Croton Harmon station in Marian Mode to pick RQS up on arrival.  She is very comfortable with this, and has gotten used to seeing me wearing a dress when we go out to eat.  Yes, it may be a little subversive in nature, but we're comfortable with it, and that's all I care about.

This week, we decided to do something different and go to a Chinese Buffet near me.  Both of us pigged out.  RQS was impressed with the quality of the buffet.  I was gobsmacked with the inflated price of the buffet.  (I'm not complaining here.  It is just sticker shock, as I haven't been to this place since before the pandemic.)

What pleasantly surprised me today was that RQS is becoming more comfortable with me in Marian mode.  Although I'll always be there for her as Mario, it is nice that she accepts Marian as well....

Life is strange

 

During 2020-2021, I let my apartment go to waste while I did my best to take care of myself.  The above image is typical of me - during one of the few chances I had to get to a meetup, I let myself have a little fun.

Why do I mention this?  Well, being transgender got in the way of my last relationship, and my former cruise partner (FCP) sent my (now) ex girlfriend a note that should have been forwarded to me without opening.  Of course, curiosity got the better of her, and the rest is history.  FCP is no longer a friend, and the ex is just an ex - we only have simple communications, and not that of people who were once intimate partners.

There has been a great upside to this.  If the ex and I had not broken up, I would never have been in the position to meet RQS.  And for that, I am very grateful.  She accepts me for who and what I am, something that my most recent ex couldn't do. Although it takes some effort for us to talk about uncomfortable things, we know we need to do so in order to have a solid relationship.  So far, all the signs are still green for us, and I hope that they stay this way.

- - - - - -

I see one of my flaws getting in the way of things, and that is something we've already talked about.  As much as I dislike my job, I am hesitant to leave it.  I know that there isn't much of a chance that I'll find another job at my age, and that leaving means that I'll have to solely live off of my nest egg.  RQS is already retired, and she seems to be doing well in retirement.  She has taken up new hobbies (read: artistic pursuits) as well as doing the exercises needed to improve her body and her health.  And she'd like for me to do something similar when I retire - if only to have me around as long as possible.

Hopefully, I will retire sooner than later, as I've already committed myself to do so with my Hawaii cruise later this year.  It's too bad that RQS will be unable to go with me....

Sometimes, even buying something as simple as a bar of soap can be a pain

 

As I often do these days, this is going to be a quick post.

One of the things I have found out is that Fels Naptha soap is both a great stain remover AND that it is a great soap for travelers to pack.  However, most people are not comfortable with this soap, and it has gone out of style in most areas.

Most people who know me know that I pick up weird bits of information.  And I plan to do a bit more traveling in the near future.  This means that I might need to launder some garments in the sink if I'm on a long trip, such as a Panama Canal cruise.  Given that only one of the cruise lines I've traveled on equips their ships with washers/dryers available to the cruisers, I figure that I'll need a bar of this soap when I take a long cruise.

There is a problem with my plan.  It's almost impossible to find this soap in most stores, and it sells out quickly on Amazon.  So I'll have to keep my eyes open, and buy it when I see it available.

They don't make it simple....

 

A few weeks ago, I turned 65.  Switching over my insurance plans is a pain in the ass.  For example, I have a membership number with CVS/Caremark, which I've used to order medications from the mail order pharmacy.  Unfortunately, CVS/Caremark couples one's insurance plan to one's membership so tightly, that the only way to go to a new insurance company is to get a new membership number.  Something is very wrong with the design of Caremark's system, as a membership number should be tied to an individual, and not first to the insurance company.

All I wanted to do is to tell Caremark that Fidelis Care is no longer my insurance company of record for prescriptions, and to point to Silver Scripts in its stead.  There seems to be no way to do this.  (Please tell me if I'm wrong.)  So I had to open another email account just to allow Caremark and Silver Scripts to talk to each other, with me as the covered insured party.  Sadly, Caremark dropped the ball to do this.  So now, I will lose ALL my prescription history, and have to have my doctor start writing new scripts from scratch.  Ouch!

As you can guess, I'm pissed.  I'll be even more so if someone shows me a way that this could have been done.  It's almost enough to go postal, but with legalized cannabis, there are better ways to find relaxation and relief. 😁  

A visit to the doctor's office

 

Normally, I feel very tired when I get to work.  Once the initial jolt of caffeine has worn off, I start dragging for most of the rest of the day.  Today, I ended up breaking my routine, as I took a half day off from work for a doctor's visit.

- - - - - -

This was my first doctor visit using my new insurance.  Hopefully, I won't have any problems with it.  With my Medicare supplement (Part-G), I only need to pay $20 for a doctor's visit.  So I may end up spending less money (for a while) on Medicare than I did on my former Obamacare plan.  While there, I told my doc NOT to change prescriptions yet, as I had to get things straightened up with CVS/Caremark.  I've had a membership number for several years, and now it looks like I'll have to reregister for mail order prescription service - and may need to use another email address for this new prescription drug insurance provider.  AARGH!

Once done with the doctor, I had to change back into Marian mode for the rest of the day.  I was so tired by the time I got home, that I crashed after a quick dinner.

- - - - - -

One of these days, I hope to be able to go to the doctor's office in Marian mode, as I now do with my dentist.  Considering that this doctor is of Pakistani descent, I doubt that he'd feel comfortable seeing me as anything other than Mario.  So I'll have to wait until he retires to do so with a younger doctor....

Politics - Another word for many flesh eating insects

 

Lately, there have been a lot of storm clouds in the sky for us transgender folk.  Now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, the lunatic right is well on the way to eliminating same sex marriage, as well as the ability of transgender people to get both appropriate medical treatment and to have their gender recognized by law.

Many of us will always stand out as transgender, and that might not be a bad thing in "normal" times.  But in these times, we might be safer if we could live in the closet and quietly work to subvert the power of America's right wing.  This is far from an ideal situation, as we should not have to go into hiding to survive.

I am reminded of Central Europe in the early 1930's.  Germany quickly went from a democratic nation with religious freedom to an authoritarian nation with no religious freedom.  The nation was ruled by a man with a personality cult - something we have been temporarily able to stop for a while.  But we are not out of the woods.  The party that Trump led still wants power for the sake of power.  It has no real governing philosophy.

Right now, I am totally disgusted by the GOP, as they have let political cockroaches take hold of the party.  And, like cockroaches, they are hard to keep at bay.  I only wish we had the political bug spray needed to rid the GOP of this cancer that could kill democracy in our nation.

Another quick post... Cleaning up my apartment

 

 

It seems that every weekend that RQS comes up here, we take the time out for an hour to do some cleaning in my apartment.  We both figure that with someone else around, we will achieve progress on our goals of getting our places straightened up.

But first....

We have developed a routine that we both find comfortable.  Since I go to work dressed as a female, RQS has accepted that I will pick her up dressed as I do in the office.  From there, we often will go out to dinner, and then home to decompress.  The next day, I will don Mario's clothing and then take care of whatever things we need to do for the next couple of days.  In a way, she is getting a taste of forbidden fruit in a safe way.  And I will joke that if we visit Provincetown, MA, that I have to go in female mode, as it wouldn't be natural to see a male kissing a woman there.  (I know there are straight people in P'town, but it is a cute joke.)  Too bad we won't get there this summer....

This Saturday, we ended up tackling the mess in my kitchen.  There is still a long way to go.  And I think the next step in this process will be to start culling things I no longer need and donate them to a local charity to do some good.  Hopefully, I'll create some open working space to do some serious cooking soon....

RIP - Neighborhood Hofbrau House

 

Joseph Huber's Hofbrau.  May it rest in peace.

- - - - - -

This past weekend, RQS and I went to Mamaroneck to eat.  While there, we passed by an old building which had been closed up as long as I can remember - and that is a long time, as I started working in that era in 1984. (It was open when I started working in the area, but closed soon afterwards.)   I was very surprised to find that there were two people working inside, turning this long dormant neighborhood bar into a social club.

We walked in and chatted with the fellows doing the work, and found that they were taking the stained glass windows down, ostensibly for health reasons.  Although this may be true, I feel that the windows do not reflect the atmosphere they want in their new business. Luckily, they know the value of the stained glass windows, and will be preserving them for the future.

I wish the new owners well in their ventures....

The following are 4 of my shots of the place.

 

PS: If you're interested in another part of real estate history, read this: 

The Skinny House of Mamaroneck

A quick post on 2 unusual vehicles

 

The other day, RQS and I went for dinner in Mamaroneck, NY.  On the way there, we caught a glimpse of this three wheeled vehicle.  Is it a car?  Is it a motorcycle?  This is the problem that many DMV's across the United States have when they register vehicles like this - there is no national standard for motorcycles, and the licensing needed to drive them.

When I first heard about American 3 wheeled cars, Elio Motors was developing a small gas powered vehicle.  I had the pleasure of sitting in a prototype of this vehicle in 2016, and they were dealing with the problems of unfamiliarity with 3 wheeled cars, the problems of creating a new category of vehicle (to eliminate headaches such as wearing helmets in an enclosed vehicle), manufacturing these vehicles, and sales/service - something usually done by franchised stores.  At the price of roughly $7,000, I'd have took a gamble and bought one for an in-town station car.  Today, their target for an electric vehicle is $14,000. And I have no interest in dealing with the headaches of electric cars at this time.

Although I mentioned my loose familiarity with this type of vehicle to RQS, our conversation shifted to other, more interesting topics.  After dinner, we again saw this vehicle, and another nearby.

Again, RQS asked: "What is it?"  And I had to mention that it is another cross between a car and a motorcycle.  Based on the helmet I saw in the vehicle, I have a feeling that New York still considers this to be a 3 wheeled motorcycle, and requires that all riding in wear helmets.

Have you seen vehicles like this?  If so, let me know what you think.

Quickie - A rude awakening

 

One of the headaches I'm dealing with is switching insurance from an Obamacare plan to Medicare (with all its pieces).  And I'm seeing that there are more levels to this onion than I knew....

In the past, all I'd need to do to change insurance companies is to show my new card to each service provider.  Now, I have to make sure that all the secondary components (Parts B, D and G) are paid for and are in sync.  This may be the easy part of things.  Getting all providers to switch over the card (issues with Part D, drug coverage) is something else.  I've just fount that Caremark has no ability for me to make this change online.  Therefore, I might have to open up a new Caremark account (with new email address) AND get my doctor to write new prescriptions for everything I need.  AARGH!

Why did I have a rude awakening?

In the past, I paid $50 for a 3 month supply of test strips.  Without coverage (remember, Caremark does not have my new plan on file yet), the same strips cost $350.  AARGH!  No wonder why poor people go without.  Our system is designed to rip off people by default.

As you can guess, I now support single payer health care.  This will never happen here, but it is a nice dream....

The Hawaii Cruise is on!

 

Above is an image of the Pride of America (POA).  This is the only major American flagged and staffed cruise ship that I expect to be on.  (I'm excluding river cruising, as those vessels are smaller and cater to a different type of traveler.)  POA replaced another ship that was built in 1951 (SS Independence) which had outlived its usefulness, but was living on simply because of the Passenger Vessel Services Act of 1886. 

The Hawaiian cruise I'll be taking will be on POA.  I'll be able to spend the better part of 11 days in Hawaii, instead of the 4 or 5 I could spend on a foreign flagged vessel.  But I'll pay twice as much for a POA inside cabin for half as much time at sea on a foreign flagged vessel.  Is it worth the extra cost?  Everyone I know who has taken this cruise says "Yes!"  And it is this cruise that I wanted to take before the pandemic, a cruise that a former girlfriend from a more than two decades ago would have been on.  Could you imagine what she would have said if she saw me as Marian on this cruise?

Right now, I intend to take this cruise in Marian mode.  I feel much more comfortable in a dress than I do in a pair of shorts.  Hawaii is the place where a woman wearing a brightly colored floral dress blends in with most other women.  So I fully expect that women will see me as a fat woman, and not a man in a dress.  Yet, this trip may get cancelled - but not because of anything I do.  NCL is cancelling cruises for some POA cruisers, so that can serve those who actually get to sail with all the attention they would normally get on a normally staffed ship.  NCL is offering generous compensation for those people affected by these cancellations, and I won't cry much if this happens.  Not only would my $8500 be refunded to my credit card, but I'd receive future cruise credit (FCC) as well.

Keep your fingers crossed.  I'll have a lot to say about it as we get closer to sailing date.

Bills, Bills, and More Bills

 

This is a month where I'm doing serious damage to my credit cards.  I've planned for this "disaster" for months, and now the piper wants his due.

Today, I paid for the tires installed on my car this past weekend.  Shortly, I will be placing the charge for the Hawaii cruise I've been writing about for a while.  Am I nervous about spending this money?  Yes.  If I weren't nervous, I wouldn't have the money available for me to spend.  Too many people have said, "Marian, you've got the money - spend it!"  It's because I don't spend it with reckless abandon, that I still have money to spend.

I am looking forward to my Hawaii cruise.  It will be a little over 10 straight days spent in Marian mode.  Getting on a plane makes me nervous.  No, it's not because I'm afraid of flying.  Instead, it's because I fear the headaches of going through security and having something trigger a more thorough security scan.  It could be the metal in my underwire bra.  It could be that I forgot to pack something in my checked luggage that is in my carry on bag.  Who knows?  I'll have to contact Kim and get some advice.  

There are a lot of small bills that come in through the month, and I haven't seen the first of my Medicare Part-D bills yet. Nothing shows up on Mint or my Bank Statement.  So I wonder what's up.  That'll be a call for tomorrow....

Ambivalence

I've talked about my ambivalence in regard to leaving my job.  RQS had to face a similar problem before she retired, and then dealt with it more quickly than I have so far.

One of the most salient points RQS made is that I need to be stimulated at work.  This job is putting me to sleep.  The big question is what I will do when I leave the work force for good.  I want to travel, but that takes money.  Until I figure out how to make travel pay my bills, I can only travel so much.  Yet, I can see myself producing a Vlog on surface transit (land and sea), documenting trips that are well worth taking.  There is a lot of competition in this area, and I have my doubts that I'd have enough interesting things to say to publish on a regular schedule.

Ideally, I'd know enough about LGBT travel to document my travels in female presentation.  Of course, there will be a lot of places that I will not be able to travel as Marian.  So I'd have to do my research beforehand, so that others could benefit from my work.

So much to think about....

Good days end with lobster

 

 

Last night, I sent a long delayed response to someone who was expecting an almost immediate response from me. There was one big reason I didn't immediately respond - I needed to figure out what I want to say, as the elephant in this person's room was not an elephant in my room.  (Sorry to keep the details secret.  I just don't want to alienate this person in case she reads my blog.)

This person probably did not want me to feel hurt, when she revealed this something.  But I had long since let go of that part of our past.  So, I had to delay my response.  Since there was another person involved, I had to make sure that any comments about this other person were on spot and well deserved.  I don't know how many more conversations I'll have with the first person, but both of us will be talking about our present lives, and not our past lives.

- - - - - -

Now back to me....

You may have noticed me writing about a favorite food truck (Cousins Maine Lobster) that circulates all over NYC and its nearby NYS suburbs.  Today, the truck was within 5 minutes of my house, so I planned to drive there after work.  My first stop was to drop off two bags to the thrift shop.  Instead of getting an electronic receipt, as I did in the past, I received a card which I could fill in myself.  This is not as good as I'd like, as I could print my copy on standard letter paper.  However, it does allow me to enter whatever quantity of donation bags I want.  So, everything balances out in the end.  

And then it was off for some lobster.  Given that the truck was positioned on the site of a church's fair,  the parking was horrendous.  However, getting my lobster was quicker than usual, as they had lots of food ready for quick sale.  From the time I parked my car to the time I returned to it, 10 minutes had expired, and I had a 10 minute drive to get home.  You can guess what was the first thing I did after stripping off my dress and taking off my bra.  Luckily, I had nothing else to do this evening.....

Closing out a weekend

It's amazing how comfortable RQS and I have become dealing with the minor headaches of everyday life. But more on this in a minute....

On Friday, I picked RQS up at the station, and we enjoyed dinner at a local "go-to" restaurant that Vicki and I enjoy when we are in the mood for sushi.  It's nice to know that she is accepting of me as Marian, but wants to make sure that she doesn't slip up when I'm in one presentation, but needs to talk about something that happened in the other presentation.  It takes time to keep things straight, and I told her that some of my closets friends still make that mistake now and then.

After we got home, I changed into Mario mode for the rest of the weekend.  Saturday would be spent at her friend's birthday party, and Sunday would be spent at Mavis getting new tires installed on my car.  We knew it would be busy from the minute she arrived, but we had a lot of fun in between the little things that needed to be addressed.

I'm hoping that we can travel together, both with me as Mario and as Marian.  Of course, I joked that if we visited Provincetown, MA, it would be appropriate if I went as Marian, as that town is comfortable with same sex couples showing public displays of affection....   Who knows?

Elvis still is the King

Elvis Presley.  What can I say about him that hasn't been better said by others?

The other day, RQS and I went to see the new film about Elvis, where Tom Hanks plays Col.Tom Parker.  Both of us loved the movie, and were surprised when we found the audience behind us clapping at the screen.  Seems like the majority of us in the theater enjoyed the film.

Before I run on ad nauseam, I must say that I wasn't expecting Oscar quality performances from Austin Butler and Tom Hanks.  Both actors were perfectly cast for their roles. But I hope that Tom Hanks goes back to playing a "good guy" in his next film.  I'd hate to see him have to make the kind of decisions Fred MacMurray had to make after his performances in Double Indemnity and in The Caine Mutiny.  Both Hanks and MacMurray are actors who could play dark characters well, but whose audiences expect them to play good guys in their roles.  

Go into this movie with an open mind, and you will have a good time.  As in real life, Elvis and Col. Parker are very flawed people, and this movie focuses on those flaws.  The music is good, and I'm hoping to see a soundtrack come out soon....

I've decided to hold off on buying a car for now.

 

As much as I want a new car, I don't want to over pay for it.  Even though there is a shortage of cars, there is no excuse to charge $3000 over MSRP on an entry level car.  Dealers may get the sale now, but will not get the next sale after the supply chain returns to a new normal.

Over the past few weeks, I've visited dealerships and have been told that they will not make deals without charging extra for the car.  If a dealership indicates that it has wiggle room in making a deal, it's not enough room to get me to bite.  If a dealership claims to be willing to sell a car at MSRP, I've found that the dealership will throw on a BS line item to get that extra profit.  Finally, due to a lack of inventory, dealerships will sell used cars for the price of a new car.

Things will return to normal.  How soon, no one knows.  But if one can afford to wait for a new car, it pays to do so.  There are mixed opinions on whether a healthy normal will return, due to a long term shortage of computer chips.  But I feel that the industry will figure out a way to build new supply chains to maximize potential sales.  And if I'm right, things should start to ease up in the next few months.  This is worth waiting for....

Game Night - a quick post

 

By the time I got home today, I felt how this fellow looked - a bit worn out.  The last thing I wanted to do was to freshen my makeup and drive to Yonkers for game night.  But, given the reduced frequency of game nights, I felt I had to go - and out the door I went.

While at game night, one of the ladies noted that she needs to get away on a vacation.  I noted how cheap cruising is right now, and I showed her the Vacations To Go web site with some of the cruises I'm considering taking in the fall.  She will likely book one of these trips and try to strong arm her husband into a small amount of traveling. (He hates travel, and she loves it.  This would have been a deal breaker had she known this before getting married.)

I'm still dealing with sleep deprivation, so I'll write more soon....

Boy, did I need a day off to do nothing.

 

 

It was a great relief not having to go to work and spend 8 hours at a mostly mindless task.  The reason why my job exists is that machines do not yet have enough pattern recognition ability to locate specific information in an almost randomly formatted document, nor do they have the ability to figure out what data has been captured incorrectly in an automated OCR scan of the page.

For example, take the business information below:

Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, Esqs, LLP
101 Vesey Street, Suite 10L
New York, NY 10007

Often, a person's signature may obscure some of the text.  So we have to figure out what text is underneath the signature.  Sometimes, letters are mixed up with numbers and vice versa.  Suite 10L might be scanned as LOL, 101 or 1OL.  We have to fix that error as well.  And then, some of the information we need to enter into a database is not found on the main page, but on a second page.  A lot of micro decisions are made throughout the day, and I am exhausted by day's end.

When one does work like this on a daily basis for months at a time, one's mind gets a little fried.  I do not have the energy to read books anymore.  Instead, I surf the web for short articles worthy of a skim.  Lately, I'm watching YouTube videos for information related to cruising, car purchasing, and other information I find of interest. (I'm lucky to be able to filter out the people who don't know what they talk about, leaving only decent sources of information in the areas I've just mentioned.)

Soon, I plan to leave this job.  It's a little scary to shift into a new phase of life.  But it will be rewarding.

- - - - - -

On a side note, my company asked me to supply a picture for a new ID card.  This picture was emailed overnight.  I'm very glad that they didn't ask me for a copy of my driver's license!