A quick note on a dinner I had with a friend

 

Thinking doesn't always come easy to me.  But when I think, I think hard.  (Or, am I hardly thinking?)  But to be serious, I met with a friend who wanted to find out what I thought of the situation she was in.

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Over dinner, my friend told me about the issues she was having with a man in her life.  Like her other friends, I told her that she should tell this fellow goodbye, then block his number on her phone.  He seemed to be calling her when he had no one available to see or talk with, and that he was only interested in her for the purposes of having sex.  AARGH.

After hearing her story, (Transgender) Mama Marian got into action (as if she was Cisgender) and told her what to do in no uncertain terms.  And then, like a good Mama, I then gave her ideas of what to do with her life.  As I see it, she needs to learn the skills needed to have a well paying career, find a good man, and then (if she wants) to be ready to have a baby before this option is no longer available to her.  

When I got home, I chatted with RQS.  she got a big laugh when I told her that I performing in the role of a cisgender woman, using language that identified me as a cis-woman, such as "us women", "I was unable to conceive and carry a baby to term", etc.  Although the advice would be just as valuable coming from a male, it would not be received in the same way.  I noted that all hetero men seem to be interested in getting laid.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Women, having more to risk when having sex, tend to need men who will care for them even when sex can not be offered.  

I figured that RQS would chew me out if I did anything wrong.  However, she seemed to approve of what I did, as it was meant to help this woman friend.  Hopefully, what I said will make a positive difference in my friend's life.

Thoughts on travel as Marian and as Mario

A while back, I bought the above dress at Target. As much as my shoulders appear too broad when my entire figure is considered, I thing that this will be one of the dresses I'll be taking with me when I go to Hawaii.  However, I'm not so sure of the dress below.    

Although both dresses are of similar styles, there is a great difference between the two.  The top dress has just enough "going on" with the fabric to make it look tolerably nice on me.  Unfortunately, the bottom dress is too plain, and I will need to find the right piece of costume jewelry to wear with it because it shows too much of my neck.

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Being transgender with male hormones flowing through my veins for over 50 years, I have the build of a heavy set male.  This forces me to use any and all tricks at my disposal to minimize the broadness of my shoulders and maximize an illusion of having larger hips.

RQS accepts me in both presentations, and may eventually cruise with me in a female gender presentation.  This won't happen for a while.  Until then, I plan to make the most of my trip to Hawaii, as this may be the last chance to take a vacation as Marian for a long while.

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The other day, we found out that NCL would not downgrade our "free drinks" package to a "soda" package.  Although the soda package would cost them less, this was not an option given for the "Free at Sea" package.  There is no way I want to spend $200/pp to get a drink package for the price of its gratuities (20% of $1000 = $200) when the two of us are cruising on a budget.  A soda package would cost us (and NCL) much less (20% of $120 = $24/pp), but we couldn't convince NCL to offer that upgrade. So, we are sending snail mail complaint letters to the CEO of NCL, with a hope that this could be changed before we go on our cruise. (I don't think this will happen, but...)

Contrast this with my future Hawaii trip.  I am not bothering to scrimp on anything, save the transit to and from my home airport.  The Hawaii cruise excursions will cost me roughly $1,000, where the New England / Eastern Canada excursions we have already booked will cost us $75/pp.  Even if we booked an excursion in every port, we'd still spend less as a couple on excursions than I am spending as a single traveler.

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Last night, while trying to reach a state of exhaustion, I started to try to reduce the cost in getting to a Panama Canal cruise and home from that cruise.  Instead of booking airfare on one of the legacy airlines or traveling on Amtrak, I'm now looking at flying Southwest.  Do you have any ideas of what I should watch out for if we choose this option?

 

Getting our nails done

 

Today was reserved for a RQS and I to get a Mani-Pedi together, and then to drive her to her home to Queens.  We didn't get moving until mid day, and this didn't cause us any problems.

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After a filling brunch, we decided to go to the nail salon.  This week, I decided to take RQS to a new salon, where RQS was more than happy with the work they did on her fingers and toes.  When something was slightly off, the nail technician (what do you call these ladies?) noticed it, and fixed it without us having to bring it to her attention.  (She wants to go to this salon again soon.)  As we exited, RQS suggested that we go to Carvel - and I opened up the door to Carvel after walking less than 10 feet from the nail salon.  (She didn't know that there was a Carvel next door to the nail salon, and was pleasantly surprised by this coincidence.)

Once we were done with our ice cream, it was time to pick up her stuff and drive her home.  I told her that this would be my last trip to Long Island for a couple of weeks, as traffic will be screwed up on the roads I use to get to her apartment due to the US Open and a NY Mets home stand.. I warned her that if I couldn't find a spot near to her apartment, I would have to drop her off and see her next weekend.  But we were lucky - I found a spot less than a block away.  So we carried her stuff upstairs then went out for a quick bite to eat.

When we were done with dinner, we went back to RQS's place, where we got to cuddle.  At this point I found out a few good things about how things have been going from her perspective, and that she was  more than comfortable with me in both Mario and Marian presentations.  (She has come to enjoy being with me in Marian mode, as she can share even more things with me than she'd expect from a typical boyfriend.)

All too soon, I had to leave.  But I am feeling very good right now....

Doing almost nothing until....

 

Lately, RQS and I have gotten into a routine.  In the mornings, we tend to stay up late, and then start to get moving in the afternoon.  This week was no different.

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We only had two things to do this Saturday - pick up a couple of books from the local library, and then drop off some donation bags at the local charity receiving center.  So, by 3 pm, we got ourselves moving and took care of these errands.

Once we were done with the mandated tasks, it was time to pick up some storage containers I could use to reorganize the refrigerator. And that meant a trip to Target, and then to Walmart.  If we weren't planning on a trip to Shoprite to pick up some lobsters, we would have driven North on Route 22 and explored Eastern Dutchess county.  But I digress.  

After getting home from Shoprite, I started to put water in the stock pot I use for boiling lobster, and let it get to a nice rolling boil before starting to put lobsters in the pot.  Then, I took care of the pot I used for cooking the corn to go with our lobster dinner.  Once the lobsters were ready, I set the food on the table, and we proceeded to have a tasty dinner for less than we would have spent going to a  restaurant.  Yum!

Next, it was time to reorganize and clean the refrigerator.  And this is where a couple of minor mishaps occurred. First, RQS knocked a glass off the counter, and we had to clean broken glass off the floor.  And then, she broke the crisper at the bottom of the refrigerator.  (I'll replace this with an OEM part when I get around to is.)  I eased her mind a little, then fixed the crisper for use until I can replace it. At this point, it was time to throw out stuff which has already gotten too old for consumption - including 6 bottles of white wine which have sat in the icebox for 10-20 years. In addition, there was 1 bottle that had to be over 25 years old, as I know it was a gift from my late wife's employer.  (As you can guess, I don't drink much wine at home.)

Buying storage containers for use in a refrigerator is a hit or miss thing. (At least, it is for me.)  I can eyeball a space and have a good idea of what fill fit in that space.  Yet, sometimes, I make a mistake and buy things that won't fit.  Today's trip was a little bit of both, as I was left with 2 containers which wouldn't fit into the spaces in which I wanted to use them.  When RQS made her first pass at refrigerator reorganization, she didn't pick up on the nuances I planned to use in reorganization.  So I sat on the floor and started to organize what was on the shelves into storage containers that made things easy to get at.

The two of us are a couple who have been working well together.  Unlike my relationship with XGFJ, I'm finding that we talk to each other more about the important things in the relationship.  Yes, there are elephants in the room, but we seem to be able to talk about the beast and how it has to be handled.  It's a nice feeling.... 

How much is too much?

 

How much is too much?  That is a question I have to ask as I clean up my apartment.  During the pandemic, I had allowed clutter to reach a critical mass.  And, I allowed myself to be entertained by online retail therapy.  In cleaning out the place, I've already donated several bags of clothing to charity, and will likely to donate more in the near future.

One of my weaknesses is to surf the web for dresses that both fit me and will look good on me.  Most cisgender females do not own as many dresses as I own.  But I wasn't able to wear dresses until I reached my 50's.  So, in a way, I'm making up for lost time.  Yet, as I develop my own sense of style, I end up tossing dresses that no longer fit my needs.  In the past, I would stand out because I was wearing dresses when cisgender women would default to wearing trouser like garments.  Now, I have a style which includes these garments when appropriate to wear them.  

If one is a lucky transgender person, one will have the resources to make the mistakes I've made while coming into her own. A word of warning to people newly out - you will stand out like a sore thumb as I did. To some, we may look like drag queens, as we go too far in our attempts to look female. Over time, things will fit into place, and you will blend in if you try to do so.  This might just be a function of finding out how much is too much....

I had to postpone lunch with a friend

 

Recently, I scheduled lunch with a friend from where I used to work.  Sadly, she is recovering from Covid, and I felt safer postponing our lunch until she has had more time to recover.

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My friend is one of two people I want to keep in touch with at the old job.  Although she knows I'm trans, she treats me as if I were a cisgender female.  Unfortunately, our schedules are hard to get into sync, as she is busy every morning, and has family responsibilities which I won't go into here.  As a result, the only time we can meet is on Fridays for lunch.

There are certain people in my life who are hard to schedule things with.  One of which is the former student clinician with whom I helped develop my feminine voice.  She's a person who I will likely need to find a way to squeeze her into my schedule when she is free.  And then, there are the people who live far enough away that we can't schedule a last minute get together.  

We all have friends like those I mention.  But these friendships seem harder to establish and maintain when one is transgender.  There are people who look at us in a strange way and fear us.  There are others who dislike us and consider us as untouchables for being transgender.  But there are the remaining people who accept us as people, no matter how far from the statistical norm we are. So, I cherish those friendships I make as Marian, and work hard to have them become stronger over time.

Hopefully, I'll be able to maintain these friendships as my relationship with RQS grows.  Keep your fingers crossed....

Cleaning up a mess

 

The above is not the mess in my house.  It is a picture of the mess from Ex-GF-M's place AFTER she emptied out a den where she tossed many things after her husband died.  Like me, in grief, she couldn't deal with the effort it takes to keep a place neat and tidy, and let things go to pot.  Even when the big mess is cleaned out, there are smaller messes still left to be taken care of - a process that has to be repeated until a place can be considered neat and tidy.

Lately, RQS has been helping me straighten out my place.  It's been a slow slog for me, as we seem to be taking two steps forward and one step back each weekend.  On my own, I've been trying to take care of things as well.  Today, it was another day where I find myself cleaning up the space around my computer desk.

RQS has described me as a person who can be very organized, but gets overwhelmed by the process of organizing things.  In many ways, I think she's right. Julia Child had a better way of organizing her kitchen than I do for my desk.  On one of her kitchen walls, she had a diagram for each of her kitchen tools.  If she saw the outline, she knew that the tool was either in use, or needing to be cleaned.  I wish I could be that good in organizing things.  

A perfect example of my lack of personal organization is my freezer.  I love to buy certain foodstuffs on sale.  But I never seem to plan far enough in advance to thaw out tasty food - such as strip steaks I buy on sale at Stew Leonard's.  So, by the time I think of having a steak, there is no good way to thaw it out quick enough for me to enjoy it for dinner.  Often, I end up throwing out (formerly) good food, simply because it sat in the freezer too long.  AARGH!

I find it interesting that I can clean up other people's messes, but have a hard time cleaning up my own.  I guess it is how I am wired - if I get too close to things, my ability to make sense of those things is negatively affected.  Instead, I must be disinterested in some way to work effectively.  In the case of my desk, I may be interested too much to do much of anything.  And I may not be interested enough to care much.

Who knows?  I may get this desk straightened out yet.

There is one problem with retirement other than money....

 

I have touched on this theme before - if I have no reason to get up in the morning, I simply do not do so.  And I've been doing this a lot lately, as I have no energy to get up and do things.

Since I decided to stop working, I have only gotten up early if I had something to do.  Otherwise, I'd wake up late and stay up late.  There is no routine I have to follow, and I am much more relaxed.  Yet, I'm afraid of becoming a couch potato like my dad was, and then being unable to take care of himself in his old age.

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Last night, I chatted with RQS and she said that she needed another pedicure and asked if we could go to the nail salon when she arrives for the weekend.  Since I wanted to get my nails done as well, I said that if we did so on a Friday, I'd have to be in Marian Mode all weekend.  Knowing that she likes to see Mario, I figured that this would get her to think about doing the pedicure on Sunday before she leaves for her place.

Even though it is left unsaid, I know I am walking a tightrope as I expose RQS to my Marian presentation.  I always want her to know that Mario is always there for her, no matter how I'm presenting at the moment.  One of the things I learned as I examined the failure of my last relationship is that we didn't communicate enough.  XGFJ always thought that a hint would be enough for me to know what is going on in her head, while I knew that important things had to be bluntly stated.  In my current relationship, I make sure to "reward" RQS for speaking her mind - especially if it's not an easy thing to say.

So far, encouraging RQS to be open with her feelings has worked for me, as well as the slow approach I've taken to getting her used to my Marian presentation.  Hopefully, things will keep working out well for the two of us - she's a good reason for me to enjoy waking up in the morning in retirement....

Closing out a weekend with RQS

 

Last night, RQS and I stopped at the local Walmart to pick up some storage containers for her apartment.  Today was the day I had to drive her and those containers home.  And it was the perfect chance to introduce her to my brother and my sister in law.

We didn't get out of the house until early afternoon, and I took the chance to show her my old neighborhood on the way to my brother's place.  Things went well, and my brother picked up some Chinese food for us to enjoy before going home.  (I ate way too much of it.)  All too soon, it was time to go, and we drove back to RQS's place.

Now, it's always hard to find a parking spot in RQS's neighborhood, and I warned her that I might have to double park for a minute to unload the car, then leave.  Luckily, we found a parking spot after 10 minutes of cruising, and we spent another few hours together before I had to drive home.

This was one weekend that neither of us wanted to end.  One wonders when "reality" will set in....

A Better Weekend Day with RQS

 

Given yesterday's frustration, we decided to take it easy for a change.  Yes, it was another day in Mario Mode, but worth it, even if I'm not presenting as I'd like.  By the time we got out of the house, it was about 2 pm, and I figured that I'd show her were some people with money live in the nearby backwoods....

I'll always find it amazing how many large plots of land are available in the Hudson Valley.  No wonder why so many "rich" people are choosing to skip the Hamptons and buy more affordable land on the nearby back roads. For today's drive, I chose to drive along the original Albany Post Road in Putnam County and surprise RQS.

RQS, living in the outer boroughs of NYC, doesn't often get the chance to see large plots of land with one (or two) building(s) on them. Seeing these lots made her understand why good properties in the Hudson Valley are hot right now.  Although I do not know what the selling price of one property I am familiar with, I am sure that the owners made a decent profit compared to the price the property once sold for.

On the way home, we stopped in Cold Spring for a photographic expedition.  I stayed near the gazebo, while RQS experimented with her camera nearby.  As you can guess, this was an even better day than the day before.

A Weekend Day with RQS - With one important annoyance.

 

RQS came up earlier than usual this weekend, and I was presenting as a male for a change.  Given that we needed a change of pace, I suggested that we go to Hemlock Hill Farm and pick up some freshly butchered meat.  (When was the last time you went into a traditional butcher shop?  Other than this place, I haven't been to a butcher shop in ages.  But I digress....

Given that my phone was working perfectly when I picked her up, I figured that this would be a weekend where everything would be working correctly.  G**, I was wrong about that!  I had Pandora on in the background while driving to the farm, and shut it off before we entered the building.  RQS salivated at how good the meat looked, but I was not going to buy Porterhouse steaks for $28/lb.  Instead, I chose to buy the more affordable pork chops for dinner, and she bought some lamb chops to eat at home.  When I got back to the car, I found out that my phone was bricked.  AARGH!

After we got home, I figured that I'd try a few tricks to get the phone working, but to no avail.  Instead, I decided to open up my bankroll and buy a new phone.  Thank G** for Google Backup!  Most of my apps and data was restored to the new phone with few glitches.

On the whole, this day was better than I made it sound.  RQS and I firmed up plans for one shore excursion, and we still were able to have an enjoyable and tasty dinner....

 

Thoughts on a VCR and on Travel

 

Ever since I started pulling wires to disconnect my old DVD player and connect a new one, I have not yet been able to get my old VCR to work.  The VCR is rarely used, but I want to be able to use it once in a while to play a tape of my late wife and I on a TV show.  As much as I'm starting to care for RQS, I will always miss my late wife and how she made my life better.

Although I think I have everything set up right, I know that I'm overlooking something.  I am very lucky to have had this poor quality recording, as it is all I have left of my wife, save for a few tiny pictures.  In the future, all there will be left of me will be a few pictures and the remnants of my thoughts on the blog entries I've posted.  This is normal in life.  From dust to dust, as they say....

Right now, I feel I have a few more good years left in my life.  Over the next two or three years, I plan to go on at least three to five more cruises, plus do some more land trips that I never have had the time or money to do in the past. For example, I will be doing another New England/Eastern Canada cruise soon.  And shortly afterwards, I'll be doing a Hawaii cruise on my own.  If all goes right, sometime next year, I will be doing a Panama Canal cruise with RQS.  Then I hope that we will be able to take some trips to South America (think: cruising by the Tierra del Fuego), Iceland, and Great Britain (with a Westbound crossing on the Queen Mary 2). At that point, I have to determine how much money we can spend on travel while we are both healthy enough to take bucket list trips.

When I went on my last cruise, the ship I was on had only 2 US type electric sockets.  In today's world, this is not enough.  By watching one vlog, I found out that the ship we're cruising on has USB ports on both sides of the bed.  If that's true, we will not need to play games with the extension core I use for my CPAP machine.  

It's nice to know that no matter what happens, that the world will keep moving forward when I'm long gone.  Let's hope that time does not come soon....

Anotther day with not much to say.

 

It's been over a decade since this picture was taken.  Things have changed a lot since then.  For example, I was afraid to be seen in any garment associated with femininity, and was overly careful on my first excursions "out".   Now, I don't worry about who sees me, save that I want to be in places where trans people's rights are protected.

For the most part, the past few days have had me catching up on much needed sleep.  I haven't made the time to do laundry, and I'll take care of that need tomorrow morning before RQS gets here.  This will be the first time that she'll have come here in a while that I haven't met her as Marian.

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RQS knows that I do a lot of socializing as Marian, and she has accepted my going out in the world as Marian.  Yet, it'll be a inverted surprise when RQS and I go up to see one of my friends for dinner with me in Mario mode, as this friend has only met me as Marian.  This will be a small, but true test of this friendship when this dinner eventually happens.

At this stage of my life, I am tolerably comfortable switching between gender presentations in order to have both a romantic life and a family life.  Yet, there's a big part of me that wishes I could have everything and stay in Marian Mode full time....

How do I feel, now that I'm retired?

 

Please pardon the slightly blurred picture above.  I was looking for a more colorful picture of me to post, and this is what I could find with a limited amount of time.  But why was I looking for something with color to post, you might ask?  Well, the answer is simple.  I feel that the weight of going into a soul crushing job has lifted, and that I am looking forward to the future.

Looking forward to the future does not mean that everything will be cheerful.  For example, if I assume that RQS and I will have a long term relationship, I must also assume the likelihood that one of us could die of old age before the other.  Who needs grief?  But that's a normal part of life if one lives to old age.  Having lost a spouse over 2 decades ago, I'd hate to go through that experience again.  And yet, the reward for taking that risk is worth all the pain it could bring.

I now have the freedom to plan and do new things.  Most of the big things I want to do involve travel.  Yet, the little things in life can be the most rewarding.  For example, I can hear it in RQS's voice when she talks about her exercise sessions.  This may motivate me to finally get back into an exercise routine - or, at least, I hope so.  (Right now, I'm looking at doing some yoga.  I'll talk about that in a later post.)  I may also get back to the reading I've put off, as well as taking care of the tasks I've long neglected.  

Yet, change does not come easily to me.  And this may be one of the biggest changes I'll deal with in life.  I could have muddled on, and continued to work at the soul sucking job.  But I'm reminded of Shirley, a woman I used to work with at the bank.  Her life ended on a very sad note.  Years ago, she worked full time, even after she reached retirement age, to have the medical benefits needed to cover her ailing husband's medical expenses.  Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her retirement was not one of joy, but of sadness, as she knew she would die with no one left to care for her husband. (Her retirement lunch was a sad ritual, as it was a formality that only made things worse for everyone involved.)  I do not want that fate.  This is why I chose to leave while I still have enough of my health to do the things I want to do.

I have finally retired!

 

Although I've been talking about retirement for a while, I was always afraid to pull the cord and take the leap into the unknown.  Well, the other day, an incident at work caused me to do some serious thinking through the past weekend and commit to leaving my job.

I won't say much about the incident that caused me to make my decision, save that I was very tired when it happened.  There is an acronym for things that one should be aware of for those people who are prone to let loose with their feelings: HALT - Hungry, Anxious, Lonely, and Tired.  In my case, I was tired, and bothered by someone who didn't have the ability to interact with me as a normal person would.  (This person is intellectually disabled, and I normally would avoid him to prevent him from getting on my nerves.  But I digress....)

My finances are in decent shape for my age, and I have no significant debts.  So I figured that the best thing for me to do would be to exit the job and step into the unknown.  I handed my resignation in to my boss at the tail end of the day, and didn't bother looking back  Later on, I texted several people that I had left the firm, and two of them were surprised.  One of them even gave me a call to chat, and she mentioned that people in my area were doing a hard job.  (I must agree, it is a hard job for most and one best suited to people who can perform a repetitive task for 8 hours each day. This is why many intellectually disabled people are best suited to work at this place; they can thrive in an environment where they can show that they, too, can make meaningful contributions in the workplace.)

Does this mean that I will never go to work again?  No.  But it means that I will be much more picky in the type of work I do and the amount of work I do.  I can always use a little bit of extra cash....

I now own most of the wardrobe I'll wear in Hawaii

Even though my Hawaii cruise is roughly 4-5 months away, I have gotten to thinking about the clothes I'll be bringing along on the trip.  

Although my trip is labeled as an 11 day cruisetour, there are only 10 days of scheduled activities - the first day is reserved for those people flying in from the mainland.  One could be 12+ hours in transit (like me) and arrive at the hotel in time for dinner.  And another person could be coming in from the West Coast, and arrive in time to spend a full day relaxing at the hotel.  I'll be out of touch for the better part of 12 days, as I lose a day in Eastbound transit due to the length of the flight and the time zone differences.

Since this trip will take place in the Winter, I have to carry a couple of outfits for mainland transit, as well as outfits for the 11 days in Hawaii.  I figure that I will wear something which I can remove layers from (or add layers to) while I am in transit. Of course, I have no intentions of wearing my coat while in Hawaii, but I must bring it along for my trip home.

Right now, I have 4 short, sleeveless dresses I've bought from Target, plus another from Lane Bryant.  I won't take all of them with me, as I will need a nice maxi dress fr more formal times.  But planning for this trip will force me to make decisions I don't want to make to keep things under control - such as limiting how much clothing I bring, so that my luggage falls within airline weight limits.

The way I see things, I'll need 3 pairs of shoes: the sneakers I'll wear onto the plane, "dressy" shoes (maybe a nice pair of flats) for "dressy" nights, and "water" shoes that I can use when going on a beach and walking poolside.  If I were traveling as Mario, I could make a pair of the shoes do double duty.  But, as most women know all too well, it requires more of an effort (and more clothing/accessories) to appear as a well put together woman.

Luckily, I still have time to plan my travel wardrobe.  But there will be other things that I have to plan for while traveling in female presentation - such as trimming my beard, and maintaining my made up face.  This will be a little bit more tricky....

Doing nothing and feeling good about it.

 

Today was a day where RQS and I stayed in bed until it was almost afternoon.  And neither of us felt bad about it.  I'm still getting used to the idea that I will be resigning my job, and finally retiring.  I feel both sad and glad that I am doing this, as it was precipitated by an event that I should have been able to prevent before it occured.

RQS sensed my sadness, and was a great comfort to me while we spent the day doing nothing except making breakfast and doing the laundry.  All too soon, we had to get dressed, so I could take her to the station for her trip home.  

Now, before I go on too much about how close we've become in the past few months, I have to say something about her cats.  They are not used to her being away as much as RQS has been lately, and they pounce on her whenever she gets home.  Although she will have friends stopping by to feed the cats when we go on our cruise together, I can only imagine how they will react after 10 days of her absence.

So far, RQS are getting so comfortable with each other that we are already looking at doing another cruise next year - specifically, the Panama Canal cruise I've been planning on for 2023.  She worries about her cats, but we'll see how they react after this cruise.  Since I'm going to be in Hawaii later this year, she's thinking of taking a cruise by herself while I'm away.  Could I have gotten her hooked on a way of taking inexpensive vacations?  I hope so, as I want her to be comfortable on the next few "bucket list" cruises I plan to take.

A trip to the reservoir

 

I usually pick RQS up from the local railroad station in feminine gender presentation.  This week, since she came up on a Saturday, I was dressed as Mario for a change when I picked her up.  And from there, we headed North without a fixed destination.

Now, being in male mode precluded a stop at Karina Dresses.  But this didn't prevent us from driving through Kingston and heading West from there.  I figured that we should reach the Bread Alone bakery before changing direction, and RQS said that this was worth the drive.  Not only was she impressed by the quality of the breads there, but she loved the small pizza we had on site.  Yum!  

Next, I decided to drive along the Southern side of the Ashokan reservoir, and we stopped at the dam (NYC no longer allowing cars to drive across it since 9/11) and took a walk.  Both of us captured some nice pictures such as the one at the top of this entry.  Even with the reservoir drawn down to Summer levels, it still was a great photo-op that we didn't miss.

At this point, both of us were tired and wanted to go home to eat.  This was one night where we conked out early, as we both needed a good rest.

Not much to say today.

 

Yesterday, I had to leave work early.  I finally am at a point where I know it's time to retire for good.  Although I feel a little sad, I know it's the right thing to do.

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Today, I received a text from a friend I was supposed to get together with tonight for dinner.  She was feeling sick and wouldn't be able to meet.  So I figured that I'd change back to Mario a day early, and get ready to meet RQS when she arrives tomorrow for a short stay.  This meant that (among many things) I had to remove the polish from my nails that was applied last weekend, and move my ID and money into Mario's wallet.  At this point, I won't be out as Marian until next week.

I'm still not out of the funk I got into yesterday, but I'm hoping that being with RQS will help me get over it.  We will see what it's like when she arrives....

Sometimes, I skip a night or two...

 

Last week, I skipped going to game night because the host and hostess had just gotten over a mild case of Covid-19.  I didn't think much of it then, but I decided to skip this week because I was feeling very down and would be a poor guest.  (I'm not ready to talk about why yet.)  But I will miss seeing the gang until next month....

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One of the things I like about going to game night is that I am with a group of people who accept me as Marian.  This is important to me, as I enjoy being with people who enjoy having me around.  Throughout my life, I have always felt like I am the odd person out, and it's nice to know I'm welcome with this one group.

By the time I see this group next month, a lot of things will have changed in my life.  Hopefully, I'll have much more good news than sad to report....