My journey towards femininity, with all the bumps in the road. Who knows where this road will lead? But it certainly will be a prettier road, and one well worth traveling.
A while back, I mentioned a conversation I had with someone interrogating me regarding my dating success and other things. The entire conversion is posted at the bottom of this entry for your entertainment.
Most of my female friends complain about the number of scammers trying to take advantage of them. I have found that men seem to be attacked less frequently, but are attacked by two kinds of people: (1) The "hit and run" scammer, who messages you and tries to get in contact with you by other mediums (email, etc.) before the dating site shuts their ID down, and (2) The "interrogator" scammer, who wants a complete profile before targeting you for their next sugar daddy. Most of the time, OK Cupid shuts the former type down after a few hours of swiping right on everyone they see. However, they are less able to keep the latter type from bothering people. The first time I was in contact with this type, she gave up on scamming me and cut off contact. The conversation below is from the second type.
First, some background: This exchange took place shortly after Thanksgiving. This woman is supposedly in the catering business. You'll note that she's hinting that I am a fake early on. And, she made a comment out of the blue regarding Black people lovable people. What does that have to do with the conversation we're having? Most of all, her language skills clued me on to the fact that this person is a scam artist of some type.
Enjoy!
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Hi
Hi _ hope you had a nice holiday. Hopefully, the pandemic hasn't destroyed your business. All too many people have been destroyed by the pandemic, one of my friend was $800 away from being evicted from her home in Texas.
Im still ok
Being okay in this time of the pandemic is a good thing period. One person I know is so busy because she lost an employee and is now working seven days per week. These are strange times.
Only bored
I hope you haven’t lost much of your income stream. So many people I know have been devastated
A bit
Do u travel alone
Both alone and with a partner
Lost that friend a year ago due to a nasty argument
Ohhh a lot of ladies
Can we have vedio call
Maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Too tired tonight.
Ok why tired
How many gf since u lost ur wife
Have been on phone for 3.5 hours. 7. Over 24 years.
Ur chatting a lot
I dont chat much wasting time on fake people
But im in phone whole day
Fb u tube
Do you do zoom? We could chat in evening
And yes I do chat a lot.
Have u encountered fake people
Some fakes. One crazy person was criticizing me for not optimally managing my money. It was as if she wanted to scam me out of my money
Ok
Do u rent or own a place
I have found that women are more victims of scammers than men. One of my female friends get hit on by scammers every day, and shares her experiences with me. It’s amazing how bad the scammers are.
I live in a co-op. It’s a nice garden apartment.
Yes
How about you?
In nyork!!!
Yup. In NY
I live with my daughter now but i have 4 houses in philippines
2 rented out
Ah
N i free for my workers
Yes
What is ur weight
U are retired
Yes, retired
Whats ur job before
Computers
Are u committed now
Single
I think black man are lovable person
Why do you think that?
They keep on sending messages
Ah
Sending flowers
Not true of all
But i dont chat them
I dont talk to fake people
I dont like wasting time
Can’t blame you. I’m careful too
How long u been here in site
A few months
Ohh
I always ask vedio call
I’m not in a hurry
Actually im tired
I usually Try to meet in person for coffee first. Video calls are good, but they do not show that the person is local.
Ok bye for now
Bye
What u mean local
For example, if a person says they are from Fort Lee New Jersey, I want to meet them at a Starbucks in Fort Lee New Jersey. This way I am not getting a scammer from overseas.
Yes, Santa is exhausted, and so was I after leaving my brother's place on Christmas. Lately, I've been getting too little sleep, and slept later than I planned before going to see my brother for the day.
This year, I had my doubts about visiting my brother, as I am concerned about catching the virus. Considering everything, I decided to drive to Long Island to see him and his family. I was an hour later than planned, but just in time to eat. As seems to have become a habit, my sister in law is being anti social, and only comes out of the bedroom for a few minutes before going back inside.
It was nice to meet my nephew's girlfriend. And when I said that I was originally planning on being in her area this year, my brother said that she comes from Seattle. I said that I knew that, as I was going to mention a 21 day Panama Canal cruise that got canceled due to the virus. It was a pleasant trip, but not much to say about it
Yay! 2020 is finally over, and we've made it to 2021. The first thing I want to say is that I hope that one ailing reader of this blog is still able to read it. If anything happens to this reader, I hope that the spouse will drop me a line to let me know about things.
Last year was a very strange year. I've written about the dispute with my ex. But I have avoided mentioning that we've occasionally exchanged emails with each other. My Facebook page has nothing worthwhile for her to read, and a mutual friend of ours would say that I have said nothing that references the ex there. What I'll never tell her is that there will always be a part of me that will care for her, as both of us have likely put way too much between us to erase much of the pain from 2020.
Some of the strangeness of 2020 has to do with politics. We've seen a president virtually go crazy, and no one from his cabinet or his political party bother to do anything about it. We've been very lucky to see our election system hold, and that we will have a transfer of power on January 20th. Since I'm writing this a little before Christmas, none of us have any idea whether our current president will be present at our new president's inauguration. Will he be absent because he's to embarrassed to be present at an event that shows he's a loser? Will he be absent because the inauguration will be both quiet and private because of the pandemic? If I were the incoming president, I wouldn't bother with the usual pomp and circumstance, and would choose a private ceremony - to avoid creating a super spreader event.
I find it amazing how quickly "Big Pharma" developed vaccines for Covid-19. And it's just in time. America has gotten "pandemic tired" and needs to return to "normalcy". Last spring, none of us would even think of taking planes to see family on the other side of the country. Today, Thanksgiving and Christmas have both become a sort of super spreader event. I don't know how much longer we can take of not living "normal" lives. And I think many people will be emotionally scarred due to life changes necessitated by the pandemic.
2021 will bring a lot of changes with it. And I look forward to most of them. Hopefully, all of our lives will be a bit better this year....
Years ago, an American president said that December 7, 1941 is a day that will live in infamy. I say, that because of our current president, 2020 is a year that will live in infamy. When a online dating site posts an ad that even Satan could have a successful match with 2020, then it's easy to claim that this will be the worst year in many of our lives.
Earlier this year, I lost my dad. And then, due to events related to an argument with an ex girlfriend, I got blackballed from a meetup group. Such is life. Other people had it much worse than I did. Can you imagine a young bride having to postpone her wedding three times due to the pandemic? Even worse, what happens when both breadwinners in a small family have lost their jobs, and have to go on food lines to have enough for their family to eat? What about a teenager who loses both parents to the virus? Even worse, what about an extended family of 23 who loses 17 members? As I write this entry, over 300,000 lives have been lost. Many of these deaths could have been prevented, had our president taken the pandemic seriously and had modeled proper use of face masks and hand washing. Instead, he turned mask wearing into a political statement, and helped cause super spreader events which made the pandemic even worse.
But enough about the troubles of 2020. We've all had them, and there's not much we can do except to muddle through and carry on. Instead, I'd like to focus on the good things that happened this year. For example, many of us learned who our real friends are. These are people who would stand with us in time of need, and be there for us whenever we needed help. Many of us started to realize that our votes could make a difference, and used these votes to remove the grifter in chief from office as of 1/20/21. Even "Big Pharma" looked at the pandemic as an opportunity to speed up development of new vaccines at a breakneck speed. We're learning that even in the worst of times, there's a lot of good to be said about an imperfect species such as ours.
In spite of the bad things that happened to me and my family this year, I have benefited from what I've gained during the year. For example, I have developed new friendships while working at the census AND have had a chance to perfect my feminine presentation. When I was training a couple of new employees, one mentioned that she'd have never thought me anything other than a cisgender female, save for when she saw my name when I logged on to the computer. I've also learned better ways of projecting an authentic feminine image while doing things which would have me wearing trouser like garments - something many newly out transgender people need to learn. Most of all, I have been able to retain my sense of humor and have found out who really appreciates having me in their lives.
Yes, there is a part of me that wishes I could turn the clock back a year or two and do different things. I'd still have two people in my life that I cared about. But we can't live in the past. We can only move forward. And forward means entering into 2021 with hope that the coming year will be better than 2020 - a relatively low bar to reach.
I didn't leave my apartment building all day, as I didn't even bother getting out of my Jammies until I had a Zoom meeting to go to. Yes, I could have done much more during the day, but I was in no mood to bother showering, shaving, and getting dressed. And this suited me just fine.
As has become a custom lately, I didn't go to sleep until the sun started to rise. And I didn't get up until more than half the sunlight hours had gone by the wayside. Not having much that needed to be done right away, I proceeded to relax in bed and watch TV all day. Sometime in mid afternoon, there was a knocking on my door. Not wearing anything but a slip, I was not going to answer the door. Later on, I found out that our managing agent had left me a small token of appreciation - some Almond Nougat. Yum! I could easily ruin my blood sugar levels by finishing this gift in one night. But I didn't.
At this point, I was up and moving, so I figured that I'd change into the oversized T-Shirt type garment (above) that I usually use for lounging around and to sleep. It's not a pretty garment, but it is comfortable. And the next time I need to buy hosiery from this site, I will buy another one of these garments in a different color.
Now that I changed into this garment, it was time to do a quick make up job to make my face presentable as Marian. And then I logged into the Zoom meetup. After a couple of hours, it was just me and my friend who used to live in New York - and we gabbed for a couple of hours. During our chat, we noted that both of us would likely be good travel companions. However, I mentioned that I only wish that we both liked women, or that one of us were of the opposite sex. (Little does she know the equipment I was born with.) Even though 14 years separates us in age, I wish I could have met her as Mario. Heck, I wish I could reveal myself to her for who and what I am, and see if things could work. But I'd rather have this woman as a friend, than to place a extremely low probability bet on romance.
Once the Zoom meetup was over, I decided to walk downstairs to my mailbox as I was, and get my mail. Apart from an electric bill, I found a package addressed to me as Marian. What could this package be? It seems like a woman I am friends with from my gaming group saw the oven mitt (at the top of this entry) and thought of me. She is another woman, that in another time and another place, that I'd consider dating. But she is married (I also like this fellow quite a bit), and I know that she appreciates my friendship. Here is another friendship I wouldn't have if I were living my life primarily as Mario.
I don't think that some of my acquaintances will ever understand why I prefer being Marian over being Mario. As I like to think about it, women have closer friendships - most men are always suspect in their motives. Assuming this is true, it's a damn shame that biology and social systems isolate the male of our species - we could do much better if the two genders had more in common than we have right now....
This is the view from my apartment window after a snowfall. It's not pretty, but the parking lot looks worse after a day or two. This most recent storm followed the usual path - pretty once the snow stopped falling, and progressively more sloppy as the days drag on.
With the exception of a visit to the doctor to get information on my blood tests (things look much better than expected for me), I didn't do much except for a run to Wegman's to pick up groceries. Since I was already out as Mario, it didn't make sense for me to change into my feminine presentation just to make a supermarket run.
So when I got back home, I settled in for the night. And then some emergency equipment tried to make it through our poorly plowed parking lot to deal with an issue with one of our residents. Did I go out to check what was going on? No. Instead, I got a call from another board member asking me what was going on. We chatted for a while, and then I started to eat the duck I was cooking.
Was this a wasted day? Yup. But without people to get together with (due to the pandemic), it's so much easier to make many days into jammie days. And I did just that today.
You might be wondering how I spend many of my days lately. No, I'm not talking of events I blog, but simply of the every day events that go on. This post should give you a taste of the more boring parts of my life.
Lately, my sleep patterns have gone out of whack. It has become a common occurrence for me to go to sleep around 4-5 am, and wake up around noon. This precludes me doing much during the day. But with sloppy snow on the ground, there's not much I really want to do outside. Throw on the pandemic, and the high points of my week are the few times I go out to the stores to go food shopping and the times I've met with FH on the weekend.
Being with people always recharged me. Now, with the pandemic around us, I have little interest in doing much of anything anymore. It's easy for me to go for a day or two, not getting out of my jammies. It's not a good thing for me.
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Years ago, I used to send out boxes of Christmas cards. Now, I receive so few, that I tend to write holiday letters that are unique to each individual who writes me. And I feel that this is much more personal than a common greeting sent out to thousands of people who have bought the same package of cards.
Ever since I started with my meetup group's "Secret Pen Pal" activity, I've found that the mere activity of being "forced" to put my thoughts into words has helped me to have unique things to say to people. No, I will never be a great wordsmith. But I can organize my thoughts into things worth saying, and in a way that I hope brings other people a little bit of happiness when they read those words.
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You would think that the pandemic has given me time to clean up my apartment. Without having someone nearby, it is a task that always seems to get waylaid. To make things worse, the place is not in shape to have my cleaning lady come over. (But with the pandemic, I doubt she's entering many houses these days.) I expect that by the time I am vaccinated, that I will need to make a serious effort to get this place cleaned up.
If I were to show you pictures of my place, you'd wonder why it got so cluttered. With no place to go, and no one to have over, one easily gets into a "why bother?" mood. I was one of those who did so.
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Well, it's time for me to stop writing and to get to do something else. So I'll "see" you soon....
This is the type of photograph that most people try to take when in NYC around Christmas time. True New Yorker's tend to avoid the tourist spots, as they hate the crowds there. I'm one of those people who prefer to avoid the city around Christmas. But this year may be an exception, as the area will not be as filled with tourists.
Originally, my plans were to meet FH at her place at 5 pm. Instead, she asked me to get there at 5:30 pm, and I was glad to oblige. (I needed the extra time to fill up the car, and to get some cash out of the ATM.) When I got there, FH wanted to pick up some food. At the same time, I was hearing a weird noise coming from the car, as if something was dragging on the ground. So I stopped in a lit area to check if something was caught under the car. And then, it was off to a pizzeria a block away. Normally, Pizza is not the meal I'd eat inside a car. But we pulled over to a safe zone to have a bite to eat, and then we were off to NYC to see some of the store windows.
Sadly, I made the mistake of trying to get to Queens Boulevard from the East instead of the South. And this put me into the traffic jams caused by the shopping zones near the Queens Center mall. AARGH! It took us 45 minutes to travel the distance I could normally travel in 5 minutes. And then, FH was very concerned that we were hitting traffic lings on the way to the Queensboro bridge. It was not a pleasure having her in the car for a trip (that in normal times) would be better taken on the subway. With all the traffic jams and with FH being a back seat driver, I was unhappy that we chose this trip for our weekly activity.
Just before we reached Saks and the Rockefeller Center tree, FH's daughter called, and FH wanted to go home. (Her daughter has a health issue that causes FH to worry.) Again, the trip home was plagued by poor road signage, questionable road signaling, and FH pushing me to drive unsafely. I was glad to be on the way home, even if it was going to take me 90 minutes to get there.
Would I go into Manhattan again? Probably, yes. But I'll avoid areas of bad traffic and park the car in a safe lot. And even then, I'll be very cautious, as there were more people on the sidewalk than I would like given the pandemic.
I didn't know what to start with first. So I figured that I'd talk about the first major snowfall we've had in the NYC area this winter, then progress onto other things.
The weatherman predicted that we'd receive 12-18 inches of snow between 5 pm Wednesday and 12 pm Thursday. Although he was slightly off with his numbers, he was "close enough for government work." We were on the lower end of that range when the snow ended. So, around 1 pm on Thursday, I got dressed as Mario and shoveled out my car. From there, I made it to Croton Dam Park to take some winter pictures. Part of me wishes I were about 55 years younger, and be one of the kids sledding down the hill in one of the pictures below.
There will always be a part of me that loves winter. And I have gotten some of my best photographs during this season. Of the shots I took today, I consider these two my favorites. There is something about the approach to the bridge that always interests me, but this picture doesn't do the bridge justice. However, I love the children sledding down the hill, and this picture captures some of the last people to enjoy the hill before the sun set for the day. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to get more photos there before the magic of this place leaves, waiting for the next heavy snowfall.
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The day after I took the above pictures, I didn't wake up until noon. (I couldn't get to sleep the night before, and was awake almost to sunrise. When I did get up, I didn't do much of anything. And this is why I plan to start looking for work. It is way too easy for me to get used to doing nothing and getting depressed due to a lack of activity.
My usual time delayed postings will be back tomorrow.
Hopefully all my readers will be safe from this virus, in good health, and able to spend time with families (virtually, if not a small in-person gathering of people from the same household) . This is a time to be thankful for what we have, and to hope that we will have better times in the year to come.
Do I talk about the transgender part of my life? Or, do I talk about things we all share? That is a hard question to answer. In normal years, I might discuss my struggles to present an authentic feminine image while dealing with things much easier for me to deal with in male mode. Today is another day that I was lazy and went outside in male mode because it was the easiest thing to do.
Last night when I parked my car, I realized that I forgot to do two things. First, I parked the car in a way that would require me to back out of my parking spot. This would not be a good thing to do when trying to navigate out of my spot after the last of the snow has fallen. Second, I didn't leave my windshield wipers in an "up" position, so that they would not get frozen in place if wet, freezing snow were to fall. So I had an excuse to get out of bed, get a breakfast sandwich, and do some last minute shopping at the supermarket down the hill from me.
Once back at home, I ended up watching TV and doing a bit of reading. Nothing special. But I ended up thinking how different this year is, and how alone I feel. Yes, I am chatting with prospective women for dating. Yes, I see FH on a weekly basis. But, I do not really feel that comfortable with anyone yet, and the pandemic does get in the way of meeting people. Even though I'm exchanging emails with my most recent ex, I know things are far from the way they were a year and a half ago. If I could turn back the clock and fix things before they got broken, I'd gladly do so. But, I have not developed a time machine to allow me to go backwards and correct things. So I must move forward in my life.
Tomorrow, I expect to be shoveling 12"-18" of snow from my car. Hopefully, it will not be a "wet" snow. Once I've done this, I will go for a ride to see what the roads look like. If possible, I will get a chance to take some pictures that are worth enlarging, printing, and framing. If not, I'll go back and read a book or two before one of my regularly scheduled Zoom meetups.
Winter is known for interesting weather. One day, the weather could be in the 50's, and later that same week, we could have a blizzard. This is one of those weeks.
Earlier this week, the weather was in the 50's, and it was a nice day to go out wearing a lightweight coat and a sweater underneath. Today, the weather was in the high 30's, and people were at the supermarkets stocking up in preparation for the coming blizzard.
This morning, I got up early, so that I could return a book to the local library, and then decided to take a long ride just to get some free air for one of my tires. (I have a slow leak in one tire, and wanted to make sure that I didn't need to inflate it in bad weather.) While out, I noticed how busy the supermarkets were, and was glad that I stocked up on things a few days ago. I was also glad that I postponed a zoom meeting with my ex boss until tomorrow - neither of us would be going out, and it made sense to use forced downtime for our virtual get together than a day which I expected might be busy preparing for the coming snow.
By the time I got home, I was very tired. But I had no time to take a good nap. Instead, I had to get proof that I had health insurance lined up for 2021, and no extra time to take care of this. New York's Obamacare exchange was closing up shop earlier than last year, so I had only the 6 week window to have paperwork in hand saying that I had purchased a plan for the coming year. After a phone call and logging into the exchange site, I had that paperwork in hand, and had what I needed to fight "city hall" if needed.
Next, it was a co-op board meeting. Things ran better than expected, and the meeting was quicker than usual. However, I had to bug out early - I had a Tuesday night meeting of my Texas Zoom Meetup group to attend. (I'll have to talk with the president of the co-op in the morning about me bailing out.) Around 8:30, I made it to the meetup group, and only one of the group was left online. We chatted for 30 minutes, and then I was free for the evening.
Hopefully, tomorrow's weather won't be as bad as expected. At least, I have my snow shovel upstairs just to be safe....
As I write this, the snow is falling in front of my apartment. It is not the blizzard that we're expecting later in the week. Instead, it is that kind of snow fall that will require a relatively effortless task of shoveling out the car and getting it out of the way for when the plow comes. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of snow fall we're expecting at mid week. I am seriously considering driving 150-200 miles from here, staying overnight, so that I can avoid the headaches of the expected blizzard.
With weather like this, I usually take the easy way out and venture outdoors as Mario. If I had a more feminine body (especially, my face and my head), I'd be going outdoors as Marian. I want to present as authentic an image as possible when I venture outdoors.
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2020 will be known as the year of the Pandemic. In the USA, it will also be known as the year that the public (for now) was able to save a democratic republic from becoming a corrupt authoritarian kleptocracy. (Please, no comments from any stray Trump supporters who may read this blog.) Our soon to be former president's base continues to be a threat to the LGBTIQ community. So we're still in danger, if not from Trump, then from the people who make up his base.
The other day, I visited a person who was a "knee jerk" Republican. Just the mention of the word "Socialism" makes him worry. So, he fears people like AOC and Bernie Sanders. He'd vote for Trump, corrupt as he is, instead of for representatives who could keep the left most part of the Democratic Party coalition in check. But then, this man lives in a suburban bubble where he never sees minorities, except when they get into trouble. (Grand jury duty only served to intensify this man's biases against minorities.) Although the man is a decent person, his attitudes have been shaped by the social bubble and media bubble that he lives in.
Most of my readers live in different social and media bubbles from the above Republican. We are among the people who are often demonized in their bubbles. They call our news outlets the "lame stream media". Why? Because it doesn't reinforce their beliefs. Years ago, we could count on the main stream media to cover the news and report it objectively. Today, people get to choose highly biased news outlets, and never get the chance to learn objective truths. This is not healthy in a democratic republic, as we need to acknowledge a single set of objective facts, and only then form opinions about those facts.
This leads me back to the pandemic. America has been a victim of its own politics. Wearing/not wearing a face mask is usually a good sign of a person's political beliefs. In the past, we had presidents who cared about public health. Our current president does not care - and was (supposedly) struck by the coronavirus himself. Yet, he still models behaviors which are in opposition to those recommended by the CDC. As long as people consider the danger of this pandemic to be a hoax, then we will suffer from it much longer than necessary.
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A long time ago, I looked forward to snow. Now, it is one of many things that gets in the way of me living my life. Until it is cleared away, I intend to stay in my flannel nightgown and stay warm and cozy for the next few days.
There are parts of me that should have been born in another era. For example, I would have liked to have traveled by train across the US in the age of peak passenger rail - even with all of the headaches of doing this kind of trip. I would have loved to see people such as Benny Goodman, Chuck Berry, and Dave Brubeck in person in their prime. But I would have felt out of place, as well as being crippled, as my life has been defined by the ever growing importance of computers in our lives.
Today, I decided to stay indoors and watch old movies on the TV. The selections I had to choose from would not have been available to me in a pre-computer age. Not only could I select a movie I wanted to see from several libraries available to me. But I could view the movie without having to load film reels onto a projector for viewing. While the movies were on the TV, I could surf the web from a tablet computer - something I never would have dreamed possible when I first came in contact with computers half a century ago. So, the movement of the sun in the sky has much less meaning to me today than it would have meant had I been around a century ago.
When I finally took my daily shower, I knew that I'd be going out to the grocery store as the sun was setting, and coming home in the dark. My life is only loosely tied to the sun. But it is still connected with the weather outside. For example, as I write this entry, the weatherman predicts a small snow storm for tomorrow, where 1"-2" inches of snow will need to be plowed away. A couple of days later, the same weatherman is predicting 12"-18" of snow to be dumped in my area of the New York City suburbs. Since I hate shoveling snow, I've started to consider the idea of driving North of Albany, NY early that day, staying the night, and taking a leisurely drive home the following afternoon. Is it worth the gas and driving to get out of shoveling snow? Who knows? But I'll make that decision in a couple of days, then plan accordingly.
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Lately, I've been in contact with someone I used to communicate with on a daily basis. It's nice to be back in contact again. But I'm being careful, as I don't want to be hurt or to cause hurt. (It took 3 years for me to repair things with my brother, and it took the death of my wife as a catalyst for this to happen. I don't want similar trauma to either get in the way of a rapprochement or a disconnection. ) I'll keep my readers informed as things progress.
Many people will soon be looking for ways to avoid going to the grocery store during the next wave of the pandemic. I can't blame them. Some people have taken to going to lesser known and lesser frequented stores to get their vegetables and meats. Others have taken to ordering pre-made meals online from places like Freshly, and letting others do all the prep work. Today was the first time I was with someone when the weekly "Whole Paycheck" (a.k.a. Whole Foods Market) delivery came.
As much as I don't like having expensive items left in front of my door due to a potential opportunity for loss, I like having things of little to moderate value left in front of my door. Food is one of these things. In the past, I would have a box of 6 meals from Freshly dropped off in front of my door (if the delivery service bothered to read the delivery instructions). But I haven't bothered with Freshly in a while due to their "last mile" delivery services. So, when I saw my friend get a delivery from Whole Foods, I figured that if things get bad, that I might just use their delivery service.
I was impressed with one of the things they do when packing items that needed to stay cold - they used dry ice. Unlike Freshly, which uses reusable cold packs, the Whole Foods delivery leaves minimal product to dispose of. Only the bags the refrigerated/frozen food comes in need the dry ice, and it evaporates quickly after the bag is opened for transferring goods into the refrigerator/freezer.
Given that Amazon controls the last mile delivery, I may just use this service in the future. Hopefully, it won't get bad enough that I will need to do so to avoid a visit to the store down the hill from me.
A necklace. Not one that would be worn by a pretty woman, unless she was King Kong's large size companion. Given that it is holiday season and FH is still in the picture, I figured that she deserved a holiday gift. So I bought her handmade necklace and earrings thru Amazon. Unfortunately, I couldn't give her a gift without getting her daughter a gift as well. So I had to get dressed and go shopping today.
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It's been a while since I have been outside my apartment as Marian. So I took the opportunity to go out in female presentation for the last chance I'd have this week. As I was leaving the apartment, I saw a box on my landing. After checking who it was addressed to, I dropped it in front of my neighbor's door. She opened up her door while I was in front of my mailbox, and her cat escaped. So I ended up chatting with her for a sec before leaving.
I could have driven to the Westchester Mall in White Plains. But I'd rather not pay to park in their lot, even though it would cost me more to cross the bridge and shop in West Nyack. And I think this was the right choice, as I was able to find a parking spot very close to the entrance and I was able to get FH's daughter her gift within 10 minutes of my arrival. So I took the opportunity to walk around a relatively empty mall before driving home for the night.
Around 9 pm, I finally decided to make my crock pot lasagna. Unfortunately (or fortunately, some might say), I was not going to be able to have it for dinner. As a result, I ended up taking the lasagna out of the crock pot around 1:30 am, putting the lasagna into storage containers for future eating, and then into the refrigerator to be eaten over the next few days. (I had a little nibble, and it was something that will get better when reheated.) Knowing me, I will likely have cooked too much. But I'll know this for sure in a few days.
This is a view of the new Tappan Zee Bridge from a site near the Sleepy Hollow lighthouse. Years ago, instead of a residential development in walking distance of the lighthouse, there stood GM's Tarrytown plant. Soon, I'll be able to walk from this lighthouse through the residential development and reach the restaurant I ate at today.
Last week, FL and I agreed to meet for lunch/dinner at an Italian restaurant convenient to the two of us. Unfortunately, she had a scare. Two of the people with whom she was in contact had contracted Covid-19. So she had to isolate herself until her test results came in. By the beginning of the week, FL received a negative test result, and we rescheduled lunch at a restaurant we ate at several weeks before. Her one requirement was that we could eat outdoors, and the place she chose had a heated tent. And this restaurant had that.
When I arrived at the place, the tent was there - but nothing else. One could sit "outdoors" in back of the restaurant. But one might as well have been sitting inside. So when FL arrived, she chose to sit inside - and the very table we ate at the first time we were there. We chatted a bit about things, and she got some great news while eating lunch. The buyer of her apartment finally signed the contract, and now only had to be approved by the co-op's board of directors. Now, the clock has finally started ticking for FL to move to Long Branch, NJ. All too soon, it was time for us to leave. Given the pandemic, we will not likely be able to have lunch again until both of us have been vaccinated for the virus. And then I was off to the bank to find out why my ATM card didn't work the other day.
About 15 minutes later, I arrived at the bank, and waited for someone to finish at the ATM. Unfortunately, this lady was doing multiple transactions at the ATM and wasting a lot of time. After a minute or two, I decided to get out of the vestibule, as this woman was wearing her mask improperly. And I went to the teller to deposit my checks, then find out why my card wasn't working. Guess what! I hadn't used the card in ages, and their computers flagged the card as inactive. So I made my deposit, and was told that the card would be reactivated in 24 hours.
Once I got home, I was in for the night. Did I bother to do the laundry that's been piling up? No. Did I bother to make the crock pot lasagna I wanted to make? No. Did I even bother to read any of the books I have out from the library? No. All I wanted to do was rest. And rest I did....
The above picture depicts Rufus T. Firefly in his successful tenure as the President of Freedonia. The diplomacy of the neighbor state, Sylvania, proves Ambrose Bierce right. "Peace is a period of treachery between two wars."
Why do I refer to both a Marx Brothers' comedy and Ambrose Bierce in the same paragraph? The answer is simple. As I write this, our president is undermining the faith his followers should have in our democratic institutions. As incompetent as Rufus T. Firefly was, he was able to lead his forces to victory against Sylvania. Compare this to our current president, and Trump will look totally incompetent by the comparison.
When I grew up, it was assumed that once the winner of an election was announced, that the loser would graciously concede defeat, and that a peaceful transfer of power would take place as smoothly as possible. No major decisions or appointments would take place during the transition. Today, our current president is violating the norms, and making it much harder for the next administration to have a successful tenure. This puts us all at risk. We've seen how an incompetent president's mismanagement of pandemic response has made it possible for more people (instead of less) to die from Covid-19. Even worse, we've seen him organize "Super spreader" political events which only served to make the medical problems worse. Is this the sign of someone who believes in the unwritten assumptions that kept our country functioning well during a transfer of power?
Many people are angered by this president's frivolous and needless lawsuits geared to nullify the results of the popular vote. They only serve to do one thing: energize his followers to give him money (presumably to fund his campaign and its lawyers) to line his pockets one last time. Since a third of the nation will follow this buffoon without question, I have to pose this question: How strong are America's democratic institutions, when a large part of the population craves an authoritarian government? History shows that democratic forms of government are at their weakest when the needs of the average person haven't been addressed by the elites. Our president is an incompetent kleptocrat. But he seems to want to be an incompetent autocrat as well. This is a big risk for all of us - especially when the people in his political party are afraid to acknowledge the truth that Biden won the general election.
Hopefully, we will soon see the last of our current president, except when he is in court defending himself against all the charges which will likely be brought against him. That will be fun television for many. As for me, the man (and his defenders) disgust me. So I will change the station and stream all 270 episodes of the classic Perry Mason show. At least, I know that the innocent will go free at the end of each episode....
Over the past couple of weeks, my ex girlfriend I have been having a civil exchange of emails. I can't say where this will lead. But it would be nice to have a friendship again. Yes, the topic that caused us to argue still makes me feel sad. But that's the price I pay for my side of the dispute. And I won't go into this much further.
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Life keeps throwing me curve balls, and I keep trying to hit them. Sometimes, I get a hit. Sometimes, I hit a foul. And at other times, I strike out. It's amazing that I find the energy to do this after all these years, even though my heart isn't always into it. That often applies to romance, as I don't like being alone for long.
Years ago, when I lost my wife, I didn't take the time to heal. No one was there to guide me, or to advise me. Such is life. Yet, I survived my past. A few months after her passing, I wrote a letter to a woman who I was once engaged to (CSN), and hadn't seen in 12 years. Strangely enough, we had a few dates, and then things petered out. She was still the same person that I remembered, save that she was clueless about how most people really are. Like me, she was a person who could not "code shift" her message to fit the needs of her audience.
Over the years, I've had some fun looking up CSN's information on the internet with no intention of getting together again. Since this woman has an almost invisible internet presence, I find it interesting how little information is available about her. Yet, I found out some interesting tidbits, such as an inkling of how her father was passing on assets to her without negative tax consequences or probate consequences. Hopefully, the financial advice she got was optimal, as I'd like to see this woman do well.
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I'd love to have a good reason to bump into some exes again, especially the woman who was my first girlfriend about 45 years ago. In her case, I'd like to thank her for causing me to think about my life and becoming a unique individual, not an imitation of someone else. Like CSN, she has a small internet fingerprint, and is even harder to find. She shares her name with a formerly popular Hollywood actress. Hopefully she's doing well, and that she has a pleasant memory of that summer we were together.
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So, my train of thought comes back to the most recent ex. Trust can only be rebuilt over time. The slightest screw up can cause much good will to be squandered in an instant. We both hurt each other a lot, either by design or by ignorance. Either way, I don't want to cause her any more pain....
