Seeing friends

 

 
It's been a long time since the above group held a meeting, and I've grown a lot as a person since then.  Yet, I yearn a little for the innocence and ignorance I had back then, as I was in a period of rapid social growth as Marian.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been trying to catch up with friends I've made over the years: friends I've made at work, friends I've made through meetups, and friends I've made in the general course of life.  It isn't always easy finding the time or money to get together with these people.  But I try to do so.

As I write this, I will be lunching with a friend from where I last worked.  Next week, I'll be meeting with one of my transgender acquaintances, and with a woman I once dated.  It's not always easy planning things 2+ weeks ahead, as I've found that most people are only able to plan for social engagements that are 1 or 2 weeks ahead.

Now that I'm seeing RQS, I have even less time to get together with people, as most of them are unattached.  However, I do not intend to make the mistake I made when I was married.  Losing friends is easy when one is coupled.  Keeping them is much harder.  And I intend to do my best to keep them.

It's been a long time since I've seen this friend.

 

For the life of me, I can't seem to find a picture of me with RO at a formerly local Italian Restaurant.  This may be just as well for now.  But it would have been nice to give my readers an idea to why I wanted her as a friend, and not as a lover.

We haven't seen each other in years, as the pandemic got in the way of us getting together.  Now that she's living in the Poconos full time, we can't make a quick decision to get together after work.  After a little bit of planning, we set today for our get together; and I chose the restaurant at a mid way point for both of us.

I didn't get moving until noon, and took my time getting ready to get showered, made up and dressed. It was a good thing that I left a little wiggle room in my departure time, as traffic could be unpredictable when dealing with the Bear Mountain Bridge.  Today, it was just that, as it took forever to get to the bridge.  But once I reached Seven Lakes Drive, it was a pleasant drive through Harriman State Park to get to Sloatsburg.  And from there, it was a hop, skip and a jump to NJ 287 which took me to Parsippany.  

In the past, the trip from Mahwah to Parsippany would take forever, as Route 287 had not been built between Boonton and Mahwah.  Since the route was completed, it was a 30 minute drive to reach my final destination from the NY/NJ state line.  Not knowing that RO would be on time, I brought along a book that I could read if she got stuck in traffic.  Luckily, she reached the restaurant at the same time as I did.

RO knows me as Marian, even though she has seen me as Mario a couple of times.  It is much easier for her to think of me as Marian, and that's the way I arrived at the restaurant.  Our talked flowed like water, and both of us enjoyed some of the best Italian food I've ever been served.  (I had the Lasagna, and it was an 11 on a scale of 10!)  All too soon, it was time to go home, and I took the overland route instead of going through the park.

Hopefully, we'll be able to get together much sooner than last time.  Until then, we'll keep in touch.  It'll be nice if RO & Husband gets the chance to meet RQS and I for dinner one day....

Not much to say today.

 

Yesterday, I had to leave work early.  I finally am at a point where I know it's time to retire for good.  Although I feel a little sad, I know it's the right thing to do.

- - - - - -

Today, I received a text from a friend I was supposed to get together with tonight for dinner.  She was feeling sick and wouldn't be able to meet.  So I figured that I'd change back to Mario a day early, and get ready to meet RQS when she arrives tomorrow for a short stay.  This meant that (among many things) I had to remove the polish from my nails that was applied last weekend, and move my ID and money into Mario's wallet.  At this point, I won't be out as Marian until next week.

I'm still not out of the funk I got into yesterday, but I'm hoping that being with RQS will help me get over it.  We will see what it's like when she arrives....

Dinner with Vicki

 

It's always nice to get together with Vicki.  Tonight, it was sushi dinner at a new joint in Croton.  Although this place has been around for a few years, we never made it there for dinner.  We finally did, and enjoyed the experience.

But first....

When I got up today, I was in a rush and forgot a few things. This was a harbinger of little things to come. Arriving at the office, I found that I didn't take my morning medications.  So I figured that I'll avoid trying to play catch up, and take my evening pills when I got home.  I then noticed that I had lost an extendable back scratcher, so I used one that wasn't as effective - and left it at the office.  Since I had no more lunches available to me, I planned to buy 2 more lunches to finish out the week on my way home - that wouldn't happen either.  But I get ahead of myself.

I was surprised that I wasn't as sleepy as usual today, and was wide awake when I left the office.  Since I had errands to run, I drove to the auto parts store for a cabin air filter.  From there, it was off to Walmart to pick up some coin wrappers. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to stop off at home to drop off my goods, so I didn't bother going to Shoprite as planned.  Instead, I met Vicki at the Sushi parlor.

Vicki and I had a belated birthday celebration, ordering way too much food.  Yet, we did a good job at finishing what was in front of us, and figured that we'd be going there again soon. Both of us liked the dresses each of us were wearing, and I felt good about my choice of what I wore today.  Once done with our "nutritious dishes of little raw fishes", it was off the the Blue Pig for dessert.

All too soon, it was time to leave - and we went our separate ways.  I will miss her when she retires and leaves the NYC area....

Two nights, two Vickis...

 

Yesterday, Vicki #1 and I decided to get together for dinner without much planning.  Tonight, I had dinner with Vicki #2.  One of these days, I'll finally arrange for these two women to meet, as they are both caring people who look like they could have been sisters.  For now, I'll be glad to meet them whenever they are available.

Vicki #2 has a lot of stuff on her plate right now, and is unable to get out of the house until 8 pm or so.  So I chose a place which is halfway between our residences (Lefteris Gyro) which is a mutual go-to place.  And we caught up on a lot of what has been going on in our lives - Vicki with family matters, and me with RQS developments.

I was not surprised that Vicki chose an outdoor table to eat at.  But, there is an immuno-compromised person in her household, and I think that she wants to be as safe as possible - even when she meets someone for dinner.  I am rooting for this other person to do well, but s/he has already done much better than can be expected, and every day is an added gift.

There's not too much more to say today.  Vicki deserves some privacy, and I am starting to fall out....

A Quick Post - Scheduling dinner at a halfway point

 

Years ago, I dated RO, but dropped her for the same reason I dropped MWL - their hips were out of proportion to the rest of their bodies.  It would be hard for me to get turned on by a woman with those hips, and I didn't want to make the same mistake I made with Ex-GF-M.  However, we have remained good friends and have tried to get together now and then.  (FYI: RO is someone who knows me as Marian, has seen me as Mario, but relates to me as a female.)

Covid-19 put an end to getting together.  No one was going anywhere, and both she and her hubby did their lock down in the Poconos home.  Now that things have opened up again, we have decided to get together again, this time at a restaurant halfway between the two of us.  Since I'll be leaving straight from work, I'll have to fight rush hour traffic to see her.

It'll be nice to get together again.  And I'll be sure to wear a nice dress the day we meet again....  

Dinner with a friend

 

Last night, I had dinner with a friend from the meetup group whose meetings I irregularly attend.  She's a nice woman, about 30 years old, and not sure of what direction to take in life.  Sadly, she has a similar lack of charisma to me, and I think it is her mode of speech that makes me think she's lonely.

So what can make a good person repel people without bad habits or bad intent? This has been a question that I've asked of myself over the years, and I don't have a good answer.  But I know that I feel much more confident when presenting as Marian.  This might be because I have less social history as Marian, and less history of being rejected by people.  Our experiences add up over the years and influence how we express ourselves.  We learn to be timid or assertive from the body languages and spoken languages of our parents, coupled with the experiences we endure as we grow up. It's hard to undo these "lessons", as they force us to repeat these unproductive expressions of body language and of spoken language.

Luckily, being trans and expressing ourselves in our identified gender starts to liberate us.  We learn how to communicate in new ways and learning a new gender body language makes it easier for us to feel more confident and relaxed.  No, transition does not solve our problems.  But it gives us a tool to help us on our way to dealing with those problems effectively.  If it weren't for the fact that I want romance in my life more than transition, I'd be rushing down my path of transition because of the freedom I'm experiencing as Marian....

Traveling to DC

 

This weekend, RQS and I went down to Washington, DC for a little R&R.  We've been looking to get away for a while, and I took the week off without pay in order to do so.  Today's entry is not going to be a full recap of the trip.  Instead, it is more of an overview of what we did during this trip.

- - - - - -

One of the things RQS and I felt that we needed to know was whether we could go away for a mini vacation (with opportunities to escape each other if needed) and find out whether we could get along after several days together.  On that issue, I can say that we have dealt with a couple of mini crises, and we have passed a couple of tests in dealing with unexpected adversity.

We left for DC on a Saturday, and used a Lyft to get to Penn Station (NYP) from RQS's house.  The driver asked if it was OK not to use the most direct route through Manhattan to reach NYP, as there was a parade going on that day (which he was going to attend).  We said OK, and did the loop from the Brooklyn bridge to South Ferry, then back uptown on the West side, where he dropped us off across from the new Moynihan train hall.  This wasn't a problem, as we had time to spare.  But we almost blew it, as RQS misread the departure time.  Luckily, I noticed the error, and we made it across the street with over 30 minutes to spare/

One of the problems that was going to bother me throughout the trip would be my lack of low denomination folding money.  I had several $100 bills on me, but was running out of $20's.  So our lost time in NYC was due to my looking for a Chase branch before getting on the train.  This forced me to do something which became an advantage for me - use a specific credit card for all my purchases on the trip.  This made it much easier to figure out how much I was spending on the trip, and balance things out with RQS at the end of the trip.  But I digress.

RQS and I waited in the train hall for an announcement to tell us that it was time to board our train.  While waiting to get on the elevator, we met another couple traveling to DC and I overheard a comment about New York City rudeness.  I said that in NYC, if a person uses deleted expletives for 5 minutes then says "have a nice day", you know that the person likes you.  Then, I mentioned that the F-Word is not an expletive in NYC, but only a word used for dramatic emphasis.  They laughed at this while we got on the escalator taking us down to the platform.

Boarding the train was not an issue, and we saw a homeless woman riding between the train cars.  The steward chatted with this lady, and then she proceeded to lock herself in the lavatory for most of the ride.  About 2 hours lady, the attendant (and a female assistant) did their best to politely tell the woman that she had to leave the lavatory before the train reached DC.  When she finally vacated the room, she used words to define herself that showed how down and out she was.  As much as I felt sorry for her, I was impressed at how well the two Amtrak employees dealt with an issue which could have escalated into something worse.

As we arrived in DC, we noticed that the temperature was much warmer than it was in New York.  Instead of a long sleeve shirt and a windbreaker, it was time to break out a short sleeve shirt.  Yet, after checking in to our hotel, we stayed in what we were wearing for a nice dinner with RQS's cousin before calling it a night.

Missing a play

 

Casual readers of this blog know that I love to attend theater performances, especially when in Marian Mode.  Last night, I was scheduled to see a performance of an Off-Broadway play and missed it due to subway maintenance.

- - - - - -

A while back, Vicki said that she was going to get her hair colored and trimmed.  Since she was going to be out of the house, I suggested we get together for lunch - which we did.  The one thing she wasn't expecting in her conscious mind was to see me in Mario mode.  But then, she wasn't connecting the dots between us getting together and RQS and I getting together.  However, she realized which mode I was traveling in today, and we had lunch a few minutes later than planned.

After lunch, I drove to RQS's place, where I had to hunt about 15-20 minutes to find a parking spot near her house.  We killed a little time before leaving the house.  However, we made one mistake - we ate dinner in Queens instead of Manhattan.   Had we done this, we'd have made the theater on time because we could have taken alternate routes into the city.  But I digress.  Once we finished dinner, we dropped off her leftovers at her apartment, and then headed to the subway.  Sadly, the train we needed wasn't running, and it didn't make sense for use to hoof it into Manhattan to do anything else.

When I left RQS's place, I made a quick run to Wegmans to pick up some lunches for the rest of the week, and then home to relax....

Someone's sense of timing is way off

 

Tonight, I thought I was supposed to see CWS.  But we got our signals crossed - I thought we were supposed to meet after work, and she thought it was supposed to be tomorrow night.  So I ended up eating Burger King instead of some nice Pad Thai.

- - - - - -

It was just as well that I had changed into Mario mode to see CWS, as I ended up going to Target to buy a replacement electric shaver.  My old one has a piece which is always falling off, and I lost one of the cutting heads when this happened today.  Given that the shaver is several years old, I figured that it was worth my while to buy a better shaver and use the old one for "rough cutting" when needed.  (There are times where I want to shave off 5 a little o'clock stubble, and I don't want to get the good shaver clogged with both makeup and "beard" shavings.)

I think it will take a while to break in the new shaver.  That's good, because it has most of the bells and whistles a person could want - and I want to get comfortable with all of them.  Eventually, I think I will end up spending the money to get all my facial hair zapped from my face.  Until then, I will deal with the daily task of shaving all over my body to have a more feminine appearance.

- - - - - -

If you're wondering why I chose the cartoon at the top of the entry, it's because I will soon take the subway - and I remember the days of being a commuter all too well.  I'm grateful that this is not a regular occurrence anymore.  Now, when I trek into the city, it's for pleasure.  And I'm grateful for that.

Brunch with the Fun Time Friends

 

 

There were two things on the docket for today: 

• Brunch with the FTF's in Connecticut
• Dinner and a Concert in Tarrytown with Vicki
  

Both of them would have me attending as Marian.  Yet, if I had my druthers on this dreary day, I'd have stayed at home and in bed.

- - - - - 

Although I was awake before the alarms rang, I still needed them to get moving.  In a rush, I ended up putting on my makeup outside my normal sequence. And this delayed my departure, as I had do triple check that my presentation was on target.  When one has a masculine body, one has to make sure that as many signs of masculinity have been disguised, and that as many signs of femininity are displayed. For the most part, I think I do tolerably well as presenting as a large size woman.

After an hour and a quarter of driving in the rain, I made it to the meetup and had a nice brunch.  The seafood pot pie was large, and well worth the price that the restaurant charged.  However, I had two meals out scheduled for the day, and should have chosen the salad for the first meal.  But I didn't know this at the time.

When the meal was over, I drove home, talking to a new woman from OK Cupid.  She's a widow, and located on Long Island.  Given our mutual schedules, we probably won't be seeing each other until the second week of January.

- - - - - -

Around 5:30, Vicki came over, and we drove to Tarrytown for dinner, then went to the Music Hall (a theater) around the corner to see K.T.Turnstall and Martin Sexton perform.  When we got to the theater, we were directed to a pair of orchestra level seats that Vicki found unacceptable - she ordered a pair of seats on the aisle, not in the middle of the row. When people were directed to our seats, we knew we had a problem.  So we ended up (after a discussion) being told that our seats were on the balcony level.  And again, the seats were not what Vicki thought we were getting. So, again, it was a trek to find someone who could help us.  This time, our seats were exchanged for two seats in the orchestra section, closer to the stage than before. But we had the aisle seats that Vicki wanted.

We both enjoyed the concert.  Yet, we were both glad when it ended - it was a long day for both of us. So, I dropped her off at her car, and I did the most feminine thing I could think of - take off my bra, and get into something comfortable....

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am very grateful that I have almost made it through the pandemic in "good health."  Although there are things I've lost due to the pandemic, I am happy that my brother and his family got through the worst in good health. I am happy that my real friends made it through the pandemic safely.  And, most importantly, I am grateful not to have infected by the virus.

Unlike many people, I didn't have financial worries during the worst of things.  I appreciate this luxury that I had that many didn't have.  The only important worries I had were for the sake of others.  And most of those worries didn't turn into problems.  The friends and family that caught the virus recovered from it and are mostly OK.  (I can't say for sure if any have/do not have any long term symptoms.)  

Other than this, I don't have too much to say.  I'd rather focus on having a good dinner with people I care about....

I was supposed to go out to dinner but....

I was supposed to go out for dinner today.  Sadly, my friend called to tell me that her dog was very sick, and that she was bringing it to a 24x7 animal hospital.  So our dinner date was cancelled.  Even sadder, the dog had to be put to sleep. If I could have known this was going to happen around 10 am, I'd have gotten showered and dressed, then go into NYC to visit MoMA.  I guess that I'll be doing this next weekend.

Years ago, I had to put a cat to sleep.  Although I wasn't attached to the cat, this was the right thing to do.  It's even harder to put an animal down when one is attached to that animal.  This is one of the reasons why I might never own an animal again.  I don't want the responsibility of looking out for the best interest of an animal again.

Instead of going out for dinner, I ended up chatting with TCL, then going to Stew Leonard's to pick up my lunches for the week.  If I had a feminine face (without makeup on), I'd have dressed as Marian.  However, getting dressed as Mario made it possible for me to get out the door on time to have a leisurely walk through the store.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to do my laundry for the week, so I'll have to take care of that when I get home tomorrow.

What a bland and boring day....
 

 

Odds and ends - nothing uneven or ending about them.

 

 

First, I won't say much about a conversation I had today.  But if handled wrong, it could have led me (and the other party) down a rabbit hole of accusations, as someone else's problems reflected issues related to me that should have been addressed in the past.  Luckily, I managed to avoid the rabbit hole, and not get stuck with indirectly referencing my past.

Next, something my immediate supervisor said at the office today leads me to believe that they are gradually planning for my exit.  If that's true, I won't cry much.  In less than a week, I'll probably be happy about it, as I will have the freedom to book a "bucket list" cruise.  No, it's not the cruise I really want to take.  Instead, it allows me to get most of what I want out of a trip to Hawaii without breaking the bank.

Now that I've talked to the custodian firm for my 401k, I'm ready to take a couple of one-time distributions.  However, I must talk to my tax lady and a financial planner before I start this process.  If I were closer to the age I could start collecting Social Security without early penalties, I'd do so.  However, it pays for me to take some money out of the 401k, and let my SS benefits grow by 8% per year.  But this is not the only issue I have to deal with.  I need to find out what are my best options involving Medicare, as well as whether I can find affordable Long Term Care insurance.

Last night, I went to visit an ex-girlfriend.  No, I'm not talking about my most recent significant ex.  Instead, I'm talking about an ex with whom I broke up about 20 years ago.  We are still friends, and this was the first dinner we've had together since before the pandemic hit.  So we had a lot to catch up on - and catch up we did.  Although I had tasty leftover BBQ ribs to take home, they didn't make it to my car.  Sadly, I left them on top of the parking pay station before I went upstairs to fetch my car from the lot.  It was just as well, as the food in this place was a touch salty, and I didn't need to have any more.  If anything, I'd have liked to chat more with my ex.  Hopefully, next time, her husband will be there as well.  He is a great guy, and I know that they are better together than we ever could have been. 

Lately, I've been looking at taking a Hawaii cruise.  The 11 day cruise tour offered by NCL is way over priced, as they have taken actions which should help reduce the spread of the virus on their ship.  Unfortunately, reducing available cabins to limit the number of passengers has also resulted in excessive price increases.  So a cruise I could have taken for about $5,000 (after all expenses) before the pandemic would not cost me about $12,000+.  There is no way I plan to spend that kind of coin for a 10 day cruise tour with the route below:

Instead, I am looking at the following cruise being offered by Holland America.  This seems to be a much better current value, I could get 18 days on a cruise ship, but only 6 days in Hawaii instead of the 10 I'd get on Norwegian.

This cruise would still keep me in the $5,000 base.  But I would still need to deal with transportation, gratuities, and excursions.  Yet, this is the trip I will likely take, as I don't see the Norwegian Cruise becoming cheaper anytime soon.  I mentioned this to a friend, and she sent me a link saying that people of our age shouldn't be going on cruises at this time.  The one issue I have regarding this cruise might be the air travel needed to reach San Diego.  I hate flying, with all the TSA headaches.

However, I have a plan to help me minimize the effect of TSA on my travels.  If I can't avoid security theater, I can make sure I'm not on stage for long. There are two TSA Trusted Traveler Programs that I am interested in: Pre-Check and Global Entry.  For the extra $15, I'm leaning towards Global Entry - even though I've never flown outside of the USA.  (I have a niece that now lives in London, UK.)  With a trusted traveler number, I can breeze through security - and reduce the number of interactions I have with people who can hassle me at key points on my trips.  So, do I spend the $85 for Pre-Check, or do I spend the $100 on Global Entry?

As I now write this entry, I am watching "When the levees broke", a documentary on Hurricane Katrina and our government's inadequate response to the needs of the people in New Orleans and the rest of the region.  Why do I mention this?  We recently started evacuating American Citizens (and a few others) from Afghanistan, and we're showing a similar ineptitude.  Americans have short memories, and we do not learn from our collective past.  A hundred years ago, we suffered from the "Spanish Flu" pandemic, and we forgot those lessons.  And now we are making the same mistakes we made a century ago.  I've come to believe that we need the power of big government, but limit the size of the bureaucracy to allow leaders to implement quick and informed decisions.  But, if we get rid of the bureaucracy, we run the risk of incompetent, corrupt leaders steering America towards an authoritarian government.  

You'll note that I've rambled from short and simple things to ideas of a complex scope in this entry.  My brother complains that I can't help but talk of politics, and he is right.  As long as humanity has existed, our ability to communicate well has affected us at both micro and macro levels.  Communication skills and thought are involved in each of the items mentioned in this entry.  In the first case, I understood the hidden message meant to trap me into a discussion on someone else's terms.  In the case of the 401k, it illustrates my need to communicate with people who have information I need for planning my future.  In the case with my ex-girlfriend of 20 years, I realized that I couldn't communicate well enough to have a good relationship with this woman. With my cruise, the internet facilitates communication that I would have once depended on a travel agent to supply for my decision making.  And lastly, regarding government, we see that these issues affect all of us at both micro and macro levels.  There is a limit to how much information each of us can process, and not all of it makes us feel comfortable.  Last night's conversation may not have made me feel more comfortable about things which have happened.  But they made me more appreciative of what I have accomplished in my life.

 

 

 

Dinner all by myself

 

I can be quite jovial when dining with friends.  But when I'm eating by myself, I often just want to get the meal over with so I can enjoy other activities that give me more pleasure.  Tonight was one of those evenings where I had no one to be with, and nothing I really wanted to eat.

- - - - - -

In the past, I'd be calling up a former friend in shooting the breeze.  I'd also be calling a (now) ex girlfriend for similar purposes.  But the issue still remained - how does one maintain his/her sanity when one wants a little companionship when none is available.

Humans are a very social species.  If we didn't know this before the pandemic, we certainly know it now.  If you could see all the people who were gathered around the above table, you'd see a smile on everyone's faces.  It was great to be able to get together after a year of being cooped up in one's home.

Could I have found someone to eat with today?  Possibly.  But would it have been worth it?  Probably not.  I needed some alone time....

Dinner with another friend

 

Even though I still am in contact with an ex, I don't say everything about what I do to her, and the same with her not saying everything to me.  She won last year's battle, but at a great cost to both of us.  And I think that cost is trust in the other person's motives.  

Why do I bring up the past, even in passing?

My air conditioner sleeve was being reset today, so that water condensate would drain outside instead of inside.  The ex made a comment (very true) regarding my use of the air conditioner and its use to me.  It is one of the things we can safely talk about without dredging up uncomfortable topics.  Since we got off on the wrong foot after our breakup when I talked about dating again, I don't want to talk about any of my dates with her.  Even then, I brought up FH, as this was another woman who left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

I've been chatting with a woman in New Jersey for a while, and it is time to see her in person.  Hopefully, we will get along in person over time as well as we've been getting along on the phone.  It is not the time to mention this to the ex, but not because she would object.  Instead, I would rather wait until I have a new relationship before mentioning it to the past one.  No, not to rub things in.  Instead, as part of a healing process we both need to go through.

- - - - - -

Contractor personnel was on site early in the day, and I had to let them into the place to get an idea of what they would need to do in the afternoon.  Starting around 1:15 or so, they were done with inside work around 3:15 or so, but were still working on the outside of the building after 4:45.  I can only guess what contractor will be charging for this work.  And when I do find out, I won't be mentioning it here, as this is between only the board and the contractor.

Back to the dinner....

We had agreed on a Chinese restaurant that I had gone to before.  When I got there, I found that it was open - but not for dining in.  So when my date arrived, we had to punt.  Instead of having Chinese again (I had eaten at a local Chinese joint the day before), we decided to eat at the Pizzeria next door.  Although the place was noisy, the food was good and the conversation was pleasant.  Afterwards, it was dessert at an ice cream shop down the road - another place I knew of because of TCL.

We'll see what happens with this woman.  She has a nice personality, but I'm not so sure if I'm attracted enough to get physical with her.  (And of course, I still have to reveal Marian to her....)

 

 

Dinner with "Short Vicki" (a short post)

 

As usual, my day revolved around what was going to occur in the evening.  For today, my night time appointment was with Vicki #2 (the "Short" Vicki.)  We haven't seen each other for a while, and it was nice to get together at Leftris Gyro for dinner.

I told Vicki of the things going on in my life: Dating, Work, and the impending death of a friend.  And she talked about the things going on in her life, such as her spouse's cancer being kept in check (for now).  In one sense, things were a little awkward.  And yet, it was good for each of us to get together with a friend.

After dinner, I checked my messages.  And DCD responded to my "What's Up?" message.  Sadly, the growth in his head is coming back.  So they will need to do another operation, then treat the area with radiation.  We will get together when he gets back from vacation.

What is the coincidence that 3 people I know all have problems with their brains.  WDS had a stroke, and will never regain full function.  Vicki's spouse had a surgery to remove a brain tumor.  And DCD will need to go under the knife again.  AARGH!  It makes my troubles look small by comparison.

The first part of the day was a dud....

 

Yes, a rainy morning puts a damper on doing things outside.  Given yesterday's activities, I only had enough energy to do laundry on a dreary day.  So that's what I did.

- - - - - -

After I had the chance to wake up, one of my newer acquaintances gave me a call, and suggested that we meet for an early dinner. And that we did, out in Jersey.  Too bad that I couldn't stop by TCL's place afterwards. But that's another story.

I hope that I will be able to see my new friend again.  We have similar ideas about what is needed in a good relationship.  However, there are drawbacks which could get in the way of things.  So we'll see what happens in the long term.

- - - - - -

Later on, I received a text from FCM.  She wanted to get together again. So I'll have to figure out some time that I can squeeze her into my schedule.

Sunday with RO

 

I like this peacock so much, that I figured I'd post his image one more time.  It's nice to be among the half of a species who gets to use color to attract the opposite sex.  (In my case, I'm not trying to attract anyone while presenting as female, but I enjoy looking as pretty as possible.)

- - - - - -

RO and I had made plans to get together today, and I wasn't going to break them to go on an early morning hike with my friend (YGD) from the Yonkers Game Night Meetup.  Luckily, it rained, so this made it easier for me to postpone getting together to hike, leaving me more time for things such as doing laundry.

I took care of some correspondence this morning, and then got busy taking care of errands around the place. When I first got around to doing laundry, the machines were already in use by one of my neighbors.  This made it critical that I get home from dinner early enough to do laundry.  But it also made it critical that I squeeze in a trip to Wegmans to pick up lunches for the week.  So I could have a time crunch if my dinner with RO lasted too long.

Arriving in Mt. Vernon 30 minutes later than planned, I found that RO had found a way to burn time waiting for me.  She found a place across from where she parked to get a manicure, and 30 minutes later, she sat down at the table - about a minute before I arrived.  The Bayou is a good place for Cajun food, and it didn't disappoint us.  We had more than enough food to eat, and both of us took home leftovers.

On the way home, I made a quick stop at Wegmans, then called someone who responded to my ad on OK Cupid.  We had a nice chat, and agreed to chat again later in the week.  (I took the long way home, so that we'd have more uninterrupted chat time.) And 60 minutes later, I was home unloading my bags and doing laundry between messages with friends.  

This was a day where the less I say means more in the long term....

On Easter, some people must be blind

The above picture was taken on Easter, when I drove an hour to get together with the Fun Time Friends.  The fellow in the picture went out of his way to get another picture taken with me.  I wonder what he sees, and I wonder what's on his mind.  But, if he were to invite me out, I'll politely decline.  I'll make up some story about seeing some gentleman near me that I've known from childhood, and hope that he backs off.

- - - - - -

This is the first time that I've looked into a picture taken by someone else and started to see something resembling a feminine form.  The more I live a good deal of my life as a woman, the more that I'll experience both the good and bad sides of what cisgender women experience every day.  Sometimes, it can be something as simple as having to wait for a restroom stall to free up.  And at other times, it may be something as risky as having to be on a poorly lit street waiting for a bus to come by.  There are so many good and bad scenarios I can think of, that I won't even try to make a list of them here.

One thing I can say when I look at my face in the picture is that this is the face of a confident woman. In a sense, I can understand why the ex girlfriend broke up the relationship - she was afraid of what this path of life would do to me.  When given a choice between courage and fear, I chose courage while she chose fear.  But enough of her already, as I mention her only in passing.

Does the above picture of me show someone who can exude confidence?  I'm not sure, but it is the picture of a person who hasn't yet developed her own style.  Over the past 8 years, I know what I want to look like when I go out the door, and I know what I need to look like to blend in with other women.  Yes, I've made a hell of a lot of mistakes to get to where I am in life.  But, in certain ways, I feel better now than I did a decade ago.  (This is not true in all areas of my life.  It is my growth as Marian that is helping to give Mario reasons to have hope.)

As I like to say, when the Easter Bunny brings you some eggs, make sure that you ask:

Chicken Eggs or Cadbury Eggs?

And then act accordingly....