Showing posts with label Pandemic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pandemic. Show all posts

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

2021 was one heck of a year!  It started off with me still dealing with the issues from the pandemic, but got better as the months went on.  Not only did I start having friendly conversations with an ex girlfriend, but I was able to find a second job where I could work as Marian.

Now that 2022 is finally here, I'm looking forward to the future again.  It took a long while to get me out of my funk. But that's OK.  The pandemic that started in 2020 did a number on me, making my lows lower and my highs higher (as few as they were).  2021 was much better for me, as life seemed to open up again for me.  Dating opportunities opened up, and I also enjoyed being able to meet new people again.  Yes, one avenue for this was wrongly closed off to me.  But I won't dwell on that.  Instead, I'll dwell on the positive - this past year was like a year long spring season.

Hopefully, 2022 will be even better than 2021!

 

 

 

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

It's hard to believe that the year is almost over.

 

This is not what I think of when I think of a hot dog. But it best illustrates the absurdity that we've been through for the past two years.  We think we know what to ask for.  But when our order comes, something has to have been lost in communication.

- - - - - -

Last year at this time, many of were worried about what could happen to us if we were to risk being in the same room with others not part of our residential units.  Now that most of us have been vaccinated, we're not worried about catching the virus - even though the vaccines do not guarantee that we won't get sick.  Last year, it was if we were being told: "Go directly to Jail.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect $200."  This year, it seems as we're going directly from "Go" to "Free Parking" and back without any risk.  But there is a big risk that us vaccinated people are ignoring.  We could catch a Covid-19 virus variant against which the vaccines do not protect us.

In 2020, our world seemed to slam on the brakes.  This year, it seems as the world has started up again, but with dirty fuel.  So we're seeing inflation, supply shortages, regionally high unemployment - all in a booming economy.  None of us alive can remember a world that surprises us as much as it does today.  And it's just as well that we don't....

- - - - - -

When I started at my current job, I never thought I'd be here at year end.  And now, I will finally go on the company's health care plan.  This is only a short term thing, as I will be on Medicare by mid year.  Will my costs go down?  Probably not.  But for this gal, I expect that my world will continue to spin faster and faster as things continue to change quicker than any of us are used to....

Monday, December 13, 2021

Vaccination Passports

 


Above is a typical CDC Covid-19 vaccination blank.  For many, the card may be the only record they may have of being vaccinated against the virus, and many people guard this card with their lives - and for good reason.  In places like New York City, one must show proof of vaccination in order to enter public spaces such as museums, stadiums, restaurants and more.  It is an effective "Get out of Jail free card" for people like me, as it allows most of us to go about our lives almost as if nothing has happened.

Early in the history of Covid-19 Vaccines, some state governments recognized the need for a vaccine passport that a person could use his/her cellphone to display, allowing the person to safely leave the CDC card at home.  New York was one of those states with its Excelsior Plus App.  Sadly, due to politics, our Federal government stated that there would be no need for a National vaccine passport.  As a result, Americans may be forced to bring the CDC card with them when traveling overseas, instead of showing the results of an internationally recognized app on their phones.

For someone who was at "Ground Zero" for the pandemic in the USA, I find it appalling that the governors in some states have fought to ban businesses from requiring people be vaccinated to enter their property or use their services. This year, NCL has had to sue the governor of Florida to nullify its requirement that everyone on their ships be vaccinated.  NCL sees the requirement as a net positive, as it realizes that people will want to know they are at minimal risk of being infected on the cruise - it can't afford another 500 day shutdown due to another Covid-19 outbreak.  The governor of Florida, on the other hand, wants the votes of the anti-vaxxers, and it willing to do whatever it takes to get what may be the deciding votes in his next election.  

Since I will soon be going on a cruise, I will carry my CDC vaccination card with my passport - and keep it safe at all times.  NCL's 100% vaccination requirement is an asset for them, as it allows their ships to sail into the Bahamas - a nation which requires that ALL visitors show proof of vaccination before entering the nation.  If NCL did not require every passenger to be vaccinated, it would not be able to bring passengers to their private island, nor would it be able to provide a cruise experience  equivalent to what they offered on roughly the same route before the pandemic.

By this time next year, I am hoping to take another cruise.  At that time, I hope that the worst of the pandemic will be gone.  The remaining anti-vaxxers may have gotten a free ride because the vaccinated rest of the population will have allowed us to achieve herd immunity.  If we had had their cooperation, we'd have achieved this status much earlier.  At least, we're in sight of achieving this goal....

Friday, December 10, 2021

Covid, Covid, Covid... AARGH!

 

I hate having to wear masks.  But I do so, in order to both stop the spread of the disease AND to help prevent contracting it myself.  But now, several people I know have potentially exposed to the virus AND one person has caught it.

Hopefully, the friend who was infected with Covid will have a speedy recovery AND not develop any troublesome symptoms.  Regarding the friends who might have been exposed, I'm hoping that this is a false alarm.  I'd hate to see them and their children be reinfected with the virus.

As for me, I'm taking extra precautions to avoid catching this bug before I go on my cruise.  I'm hoping that I can stay virus free until I return, and that the vaccinations + booster shot I've received will protect me from the worst of symptoms.

So I have one bit of advice....

Get Vaccinated ...NOW!

 

PS: The couple who host our bi-monthly game night had to postpone this week's session, as their daughter was also potentially exposed to the virus.  Hopefully, this will also be a false alarm....

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving!

 


Happy Thanksgiving!


I am very grateful that I have almost made it through the pandemic in "good health."  Although there are things I've lost due to the pandemic, I am happy that my brother and his family got through the worst in good health. I am happy that my real friends made it through the pandemic safely.  And, most importantly, I am grateful not to have infected by the virus.

Unlike many people, I didn't have financial worries during the worst of things.  I appreciate this luxury that I had that many didn't have.  The only important worries I had were for the sake of others.  And most of those worries didn't turn into problems.  The friends and family that caught the virus recovered from it and are mostly OK.  (I can't say for sure if any have/do not have any long term symptoms.)  

Other than this, I don't have too much to say.  I'd rather focus on having a good dinner with people I care about....


Monday, November 8, 2021

I'm already thinking of booking another cruise.

 

I miss the world we were in when this picture was taken.  I had met both a pen pal AND a Vegas performer on this trip, and had a great time sailing alone.  This was a growth experience for me, as I was unable to lean on anyone for emotional support.

- - - - - -

The cruise I'll soon be taking will be fun.  But it will not be much "to write home about".  I was totally bored in one of these ports, and didn't bother to tender to the island in the other.  When a cruise line has to tender its guests to a private island instead of using its own dock, bottlenecks will happen.  And on the one time I was at this line's private island, they had a hard time getting on and off the island due to the weather.

If my cruise wasn't visiting Charleston, SC instead of Nassau, Bahamas, I wouldn't have taken it.  Nassau was only worth the stop if one wanted to waste time shopping for overpriced goods.  Port Canaveral was far from anything interesting or reasonably priced.  But Charleston is a more than adequate place to stop, as it has history worth taking in.  (Fort Sumter is the place where many consider our Civil War to have started.)

Unlike the cruise I took 3 years ago, the pandemic will always seem to be present in the background. When I get to the cruise terminal, I will be Covid tested before I get on the ship. Cruise staff will both be vaccinated and masked.  All passengers will also be vaccinated. Even if masking isn't required of passengers, most will likely be wearing them out of habit. It could be worse.  Could you imagine being on a mixed (vaxxed/unvaxxed) cruise and having to mask up at all times, then worry about which areas one can visit and what areas one must avoid?

Yet, the minor headaches of dealing with the pandemic haven't kept me from considering another cruise. Right now, I'm think of booking some sort of Hawaii trip.  But I could change that to an Alaskan trip at a moment's notice.  Until I am ready to make a commitment, I won't put any money down on a vacation.  Instead, I'll be tracking prices and hoping they go down.

Unfortunately, prices don't always go down.  Although the price of the cruise I'm taking dropped by $250 shortly after I booked the cruise, it is now the same price as when I booked it - under a slightly different pricing structure.  And therein lies the problem.  I'm not sure of how I can best perform price arbitraging on either a Hawaii or Alaska cruise.  But I want to do so to get the best price available over the next year.  And I hope I can do this effectively....   

Friday, October 29, 2021

It's been two years...

 


Years ago, Ex-GF-M had a thing for Starbucks Coffee.  Her late husband worked for the firm, and finally had a career that he could excel in.  Sadly for her, he passed away a couple of years before we met, and she was still dealing with her loss at that time.  I broke up with Ex-GF-M because she was a bad influence on me.  It was the toxic effect of an addictive triangle (2 people and a substance - in this case, food) that took a negative effect on me.  When I met XGFJ, I thought she'd be the one.  But it didn't work out.  I lost my former cruise partner as a friend around the same time.  That loss was my fault, and due to gross stupidity.  However, I think she hurts more than I do based on a text she sent me at the end of September.  Too bad that the one person she could once turn to in time of need is the one person she can't turn to now.

- - - - - -

But enough of talking about that part of the past.  Many things have changed, and it is very interesting to look at the past and present to see where things are headed.

For 4 years, America had to suffer with a grifter as head of state.  (I didn't "drink the Kool-Aid" as many "Conservatives" had done.)  His rabid support frightened many people then, and still bothers people today.  There was a collective disbelief that someone they believed to be successful and a great businessman was simply a con artist behind a green curtain. But many people in New York, Atlantic City, and other places where he placed his flag knew him for his questionable business practices and not for traditional measurements of business success.  It seemed like every day a new scandal was erupting, and things got progressively worse.  Relief came when he lost the 2000 election, only because he mishandled the pandemic, causing the economy to crater.

The pandemic started off as if it was a problem local to China.  Little did anyone know how much trouble this virus would cause the world.  I can still remember a meetup group acting as if the virus wasn't dangerous when America started being aware of how many people were starting to get ill and die. Within a week, not only did this group stop meeting, but most businesses shut down for in-person work.  If you could work from home, you did.  Even now, 19 months later, most businesses are not requiring their offices to be fully staffed.  After 19 months, many of us are wearing masks to help prevent disease transmission.  With vaccinations (which people lined up for 6 months ago), many people are assuming that they are safe and catching the virus.  Luckily, most of the vaccinated only experience very mild symptoms.  However, there are selfish fools who remain unvaccinated, and this is causing our hospitals to be flooded with Covid patients.  Now, it looks like Covid will be around forever, but will be managed (for most of us) with regular booster shots.

Due to the pandemic, last year's baseball season was shortened to 60 games, with few people allowed to attend the games.  (Attendance was permitted for the people on the field, the TV crews, and security guards.)  At the beginning of this season, some cities were restricting attendance to a socially distanced few, gradually allowing more and more people to attend as long as they could show proof of vaccination.  Yet, there are some athletes who still want to remain unvaccinated, and are prohibited from working out or playing with their teams in their home cities.

In the period since the pandemic started, we have suffered a series of supply chain issues which are causing prices for many goods to go up.  Last year, with poor demand for automobiles, my brother was able to snag a late model car from a car rental agency for 25% less than the same car would sell for today.  Recently, a coworker flew to Hawaii on vacation, and found out that the normal car rental places had nothing to rent - a year ago, they had sold off their inventory to pay their bills.  Now, the rental car companies can't buy enough cars to refurnish their fleets, as the car manufacturers can not get the computer chips needed to build their cars.  (This is yet another pandemic related supply chain issue....)

Before the pandemic, I used to go on a cruise one or twice each year.  Last year, the tourist industry had to slam on the brakes and shut everything down in a two week period.  People were stranded overseas waiting to be repatriated to their home countries.  With one cruise ship, our former president decided to keep it from docking at its port of origin, so that he could keep our Covid infection numbers low.  Eventually, reality set in, and this ship made it to a nearby port.  Yet, many people had stranger journeys to make it home from overseas.  MWL recounted that the pandemic hit in the middle of an overseas trip, and that returning home was a confusing mess.  

Once the tourist doors were slammed shut, only a limited few people were allowed to make their way across borders.  For example, there were Canadian doctors and nurses who worked in the USA - they were allowed to cross.  But there were other essential people crossing the border, such as truck drivers making deliveries across borders, and Americans doing a land transit through Canada to reach Alaska.  The loss of the tourist trade hurt people on both sides of the border, Alaska and Canada's Maritime Provinces lost out on over a year's worth of tourist money - and the affected people will likely be affected for years.

However, things are returning to a new normal.  The US has allowed foreign flagged ships to sail to Alaska from Seattle, so that Alaska doesn't lose two years of tourist business.  Long delayed movies are finally making it to theaters.  I just saw the new James Bond flick, and can't wait to see the new Ghostbusters flick when it comes out.  I've started going out as Marian much more often, and feel comfortable traveling in both presentations.  I guess it's because I've been able to live much of my life as Marian over the past 19 months, and have a better idea of how much Marian (and Mario) means to me....



Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Cruise prices don't always make sense.

 


Just for fun, I decided to price out a repositioning cruise on NCL to start in a month from the time this entry is made public. Although I have no interest in taking this particular cruise, it illustrates the irrationality of some prices available to the potential cruiser.

You'll note that all prices are for solo cruisers.  I have sailed (or will have sailed) in every category save for the Studio, the Spa, and the Haven.  If pricing for this cruise was completely rational, the Studio cabin wouldn't be priced as high as it is.  From what I can tell, it is a smaller version of an inside cabin with access to a "Studio Only" travel area.  (Singles can mix here.)  So, why is it priced more than the Inside cabin, the Oceanview cabin, and a Balcony cabin.  It costs almost as much as the Club Balcony Suite.  If I were taking this particular cruise, I'd spend the extra $124 and get almost 3 times the room to spread out AND have a balcony of my own.

Once one decides to go above the Club Balcony Suite level, prices start going into the stratosphere.  I can only imagine how much money I'd want in my bank account before I'd even consider a room in the Haven.  (When a suite there has more room than my apartment, the Haven is geared to people who have lots of money to burn.)  I've met people who have cruised in both the Spa and the Haven suites, and they loved them. For me, I'll wait for the excuse to take a very special trip and then drop the coin to make it special for me and a potential partner.

With certain exceptions, you usually get what you pay for.  Sometimes you get more.  And sometimes, you get less.   Before the pandemic struck, I found a Repositioning / Panama Canal cruise that I could have taken for $1000 - 21 days, New York to Seattle. Unfortunately, that cruise had to be cancelled on account of the pandemic. Later in the year, there was a 11 day Hawaii Cruise Tour (effectively 10 days of activities) that I could have taken for half the price the same package sells for today.  This, too, was cancelled because of the pandemic.  An ex girlfriend of many years ago was very sad about this, as she was looking to take this cruise with 3 of her girlfriends.  (I could only imagine what would have happened if we bumped into each other on the cruise.)

- - - - - -

I have been tracking the price of another cruise I've been interested in as it gets closer to sail date.  If I'm right, the price will drop another $50/stateroom class one or two more times before the ship sails.  However, I wouldn't want to risk losing this deal at this point - so I'll be buying my tickets soon....


 

 

Monday, September 27, 2021

I am disgusted at what America has become

 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about non-transgender issues.  A former friend triggered some thinking about favors and about interpersonal relationships.  My exhaustion at work has gotten me to think about my own mortality.  The daily news has gotten me to think about the nation America is becoming - and I have gotten disgusted.

The other day, TCL talked about a book club whose meeting she was going to attend.  TCL is much more concerned about the Covid-19 virus than many people, and she would prefer to do things outside with people as long as the weather permits.  The book club leader scheduled an indoor meeting at which she planned to go maskless.  This bothered TCL, so she suggested meeting outdoors, as it was going to be a nice day. When the book club met, all the people save one had been vaccinated. Although the one person didn't give her vaccination status, claiming it was a personal matter, we both think she wanted to hide the fact she didn't get her arm stuck.

It seems that most people in the most heavily vaccinated areas are proud to mention their vaccination status, and it has become an indicator of one's political stance.  Although many Republicans have had their arms stuck, there is a correlation between being unvaccinated and being both a registered Republican and Trump Supporter.  In the case of the book club leader, she comes from a highly Republican part of town.  Luckily, TCL was able to get the library to remind the book club leader that masks were required indoors, and that no exceptions would be made.

The above incident ended in an acceptable way.  No one got hurt, and everyone wore a mask.  But what happens when unvaccinated tourists attempt to go out to eat in a NYC restaurant?  Recently, 3 unvaccinated Texans attempted to do just that at Carmine's and started a fight with the hostess who only did her job - ask to inspect the potential patrons' proofs of vaccination.  The hostess was sent to the hospital, while the 3 Texans only got charged with misdemeanors.  If I were the proprietor of the restaurant, I'd have come out with a baseball bat and stopped the fight with extreme prejudice.  My justification would be simple - I have to protect both my staff and my patrons to the best of my ability. Mind you, I don't think my actions would pass muster with a lawyer.  But they might pass muster with a NYC jury.

We are now a country of two warring tribes.  One gives a damn about what happens to their neighbors, and will make sacrifices to keep them whole.  The other tribe is selfish, and doesn't care about what their actions and policies do to people who don't agree with them.  Luckily, Covid-19 is much more likely to kill an unvaccinated person than a vaccinated person.  Maybe, we'll have proof that Darwinian selection can help with issues like this, and we can again have a nation I can be proud of.

 

 

 

PS: I've heard of an alternate explanation for the incident at the restaurant which puts the Texans in a much different light.  The fight may not have been started by the three women at first, but when their husbands met them at the restaurant.  I'll post more on this incident when I have more information....


 

 

Sunday, September 19, 2021

It's hard to keep up with my friends and family, but....

 


Ever since I've been "post retirement" working, I'm finding it impossible to get together with many of the people I'd like to be with.  Last year, it was the pandemic.  This year, it's been work exhaustion.  What will it be next year?

What I find strange is that the older I get, the harder it is to meet with people.  Some of the people I know are dying off.  Some are moving away to retirement residences (in low tax states).  Then, some are taking care of others, and not able to get out to do things for themselves.  In short, everyone has a life, and we're all trying to make as productive use of our time as possible.

- - - - - -

Recently, I got together with FH after several weeks of looking for a time we could get together.  We had a nice day talking about life and catching up on things.  Of course, I wasn't going to screw up a day with MWL to spend a Saturday with her.  Vicki #2 is impossible to meet up with these days, as she has important family problems of her own that she's dealing with.  And I haven't seen my brother in what seems like ages.  We all have responsibilities that we have to manage, and I respect my family, friends, and acquaintances for doing just this.

The other day, I found out that a cruise I was thinking of taking was sold out. As a result, I realize that I now have an opportunity to see some people I haven't seen in years.  The first is a transwoman I know who has cancer.  I know her through a woman who once was a close friend.  If I see this transwoman, it will have to be soon, as I know what cancer can do to a person.  In better times, I'd offer a seat to this former friend on my trip. It's doubtful that the two of us could be civil long enough to visit my acquaintance - so I will not even suggest it. (Neither of us were pleased by our last communication, and I don't want a repeat of this incident.)  Since it doesn't make sense to gamble on being in this city just for the sake of visiting this acquaintance, I'll make sure that I'll visit the usual tourist spots and get together with someone I met on one of my cruises.  The second person I'd meet is a train buff who reads this blog.  It'd be nice to catch up with her in Baltimore when I finally get to visit the B&O Railroad museum.  If I was lucky on this part of the trip, I'd also get to meet a transwoman (and her wife) who I haven't seen since my only trip to Fantasia Fair.

- - - - - -

Several people I know have moved to Florida over the years.  I am not in a rush to go there.  But when I do, I will try to visit them.  Yet, assuming I do, I will need to make sure that my trans identity doesn't get in the way of doing things.  It'd be nice to see YGM again....

- - - - - -

Years ago, my wife and I went to the wedding of the daughter of my late uncle once removed.  (That is, my grandmother's brother's daughter, my cousin once removed.)  I don't remember much about that day, save that we didn't get to the church on time.  Since then, her dad, then her mom passed away.  My brother and I talked about going to visit her, but never did.  Hopefully, I will get the chance to see her soon.


 

 


 

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Things can get to a healthy normal, but....

 

Yesterday, I had dinner with a friend who knows me only as Marian, but knows that Mario exists. She is 80 years old, and has had her vaccinations against Covid.  In passing, she mentioned that she has rarely gone out to eat with anyone since the pandemic started, and is masked going everywhere.  So I was very glad that she took the chance to have a bite to eat with me.

Both of us know the risks of being unvaccinated, and are very upset at when is going on in this country.  It doesn't take that much to reach a stage of normalcy - we've had it for a while in the Northeast due to our high rate of vaccination.  But this could end very quickly if a variant were to breach the vaccines' defenses and get most people sick (with symptoms).  At 80, my friend knows she has 10 years or so left to live a healthy life.  But what about me?  My dad lived to 92, and that gives me almost 30 years I should expect to live.

I know that I will eventually have problems getting out and about.  And at that time, I will have some hard decisions to make.

- - - - - -

The other day, I interviewed with the NYS Court System for a position.  Today, I got the rejection latter that I expected.  (Can anyone say "Ageism?")  Luckily, I didn't need the job, and I hope that it goes to someone who can be in that job for more than 5 years or so.

This event frees me up to plan for a Hawaii cruise later in the year.  If people get smart, they will get vaccinated and will wear their masks - and the number of sick people will drop to levels where I will feel safe in taking the cruise.  However, if people keep being stupid, I'll play it safe and book a different cruise when the illness rates are at a level I feel safe in booking a cruise.

- - - - - -

My friend Vicki and I have felt comfortable dining out throughout the pandemic.  When the authorities loosened restrictions enough for us to dine indoors, that's what we did.  But there are people who took unrealistic chances, such as members in one meetup group whose meetings I never attended and never will.  I only wonder how many of these people will feel if they are told to isolate themselves again.  Will they do so?  Frankly, it's hard for me to give much of a damn, as I am not part of the group.  However, what I'll miss is the chance to do things with Vicki.

- - - - - -

Life involves making choices and hoping for the best.  One has to make tradeoffs.  One person I know wants a soul mate to keep her from being lonely.  The woman I dined with last night wouldn't know what to do with a man if one were interested in her - she doesn't want to become anyone's nurse at this stage of her life.  She has chosen to be a complete person without a partner.  She has made some important tradeoffs to do this.  And I think she'll eventually die (hopefully, not for a long time) with few regrets in her life.  Isn't this the type of person that can inspire us to be better versions of ourselves?  I certainly think so.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

If I cooked more at home, I'd be tempted to do this.

 


The above is the cover page from a web site of a firm that sells shares of butchered meat to the public.  This firm, Walden local meat, sells shares which they will have delivered to your home in the NYC area and in New England.

- - - - - -

I first got wind of this firm several years ago, when I received a post card describing their service.  During the pandemic, if I found myself driving to Hudson to go to the former Applestone Meat Company to get butchered meat, I'd have tried out a Walden subscription.  (There is no way I'd have driven to Boston to visit their shop.  Too bad they don't open a second in-person outlet in the NYC area.)  The prices are reasonable for high quality meats, but it might not pay for a person cooking for one to get a subscription.

- - - - - -

During the pandemic, many wholesalers such as Baldor decided to open their doors to the general public.  Many kept minimum order requirements to avoid loss generating transactions.  But it opened up the door for the public to get ingredients usually available only to restaurant chefs.  If the worst of the pandemic restrictions stayed with us preventing us from going shopping in person, I'd have ordered from these firms.  We were very lucky to get back to some "normalcy" within a short few months of quarantine. So I didn't have to change my ways that much.

- - - - - -

One day, I expect that I will try out Walden's services.  That will likely be when I've found someone with whom to settle down.  It'll be nice to eat something healthy again. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, August 9, 2021

A date with my niece

 

As you can see, my niece is fully masked up.  In an age where we finally got an "all clear" for being vaccinated, there are enough A--holes in our society that are putting the rest of us at risk by remaining unvaccinated.  She can't wait for the day that she will no longer need the mask, and that she and her husband can visit this country together.

My niece usually puts her friends first, and tries to squeeze her aunt/uncle in as free time permits.  Today was no different.  So when I received her text telling me that we could meet after work, I jumped at the chance to do so.  However, I would have to go home to change into something comfortable and feminine before seeing her in NYC.  And this delayed my arrival at the Rubin museum, as I arrived there shortly after 7:30 pm.  (The museum is usually open until 10, so even an 8:15 ticket time is quite reasonable.)

While waiting for our tickets to be valid for admission, I mentioned many things regarding what I plan to do with my assets when I pass away.  (Hopefully not for a long time....)  And she knows NOT to let my brother into my place until it has been purged of things I don't want him to know about (yet).  She was surprised when I told her about a conversation I recently had with my ex, and she noted - why should I still bother with her, given the way she treated me last year?  (She is wise beyond her years.) And I noted - in spite of everything, I'd sill like to be friends.  Not the excessive intimacy (non physical) that my former cruise partner and I once had, but someone who I can chat with and occasionally have as an activity partner.  However, I doubt that this will happen, as the ex-girlfriend tends to avoid social events I plan to attend.







My niece and I  walked through the museum, and marveled that there is so much beautiful art in one place.  However, the focus on this category of Asian art (Himalyayas and Tibet) is very different from Chinese and Japanese art.  It seems to focus on the temporary nature of life and the impermanence of things in this world.  Things that Westerners may see as sexual may be seen as a unity of all "forces" of nature to the cultures of these areas.

All too soon, our evening had to end.  We walked back to Penn Station, where she had to rush off to a train.  I picked up some grub there, as I knew that nothing would be open at Grand Central.  And I was right....

- - - - - -

One thing I will comment on in a future post is a transgender person living in her authentic gender tends to live a relatively boring life once she isn't switching gender presentations on a daily basis.  With the exception of putting on a wig, shaving my body hair off, and wearing chest prosthesis, most of my life is that of a typical female.  No, I will never have the natural plumbing of a typical female.  But that's OK.  I am not looking to reproduce.  Yet, it would be interesting if someone called me pretty....

Monday, August 2, 2021

I finally went to a Hudson Valley Meetup and found the group owner is stepping down.

 

This is a happy and sad post at the same time.  The other night, I went to a meetup with a friend.  Tonight, I found out that the hostess of this group is leaving in October.  One less group in the Hudson Valley that I want to go to.  I'll have to give my ex-girlfriend credit - she chose to keep me out of the one group that survived Covid using methods that I consider unethical.  But then, she's very afraid of dealing with her feelings if she were to see me in person again.

But I don't want to dwell on the past - only reference it.

Now that the worst of the pandemic seems to be over, people are starting to attend meetup groups in person again.  This is a good thing.  There is a new group that I might choose to attend soon.  It'll be much better for me to go there than to schlep into Connecticut.  And yet, I'm not planning on filling my calendar with meetups.  I don't want to get addicted to going out.  Instead, I want to start nourishing my soul again, visiting museums (for one thing) without worrying about whether I'd be missing out on human connections. 

Lately, I've been seeing a lady (as Mario) that knows of my existence as Marian, and hasn't yet run away from me.  No, I don't think we'll be a couple for the long term.  But I'm working on developing a relationship (as friends) that will survive the end of dating.  The other day, I read an article  (Most romantic relationships start as friendships, study finds) on CNN's website.  I want to date the kind of person who I'd want to have as a friend first, and not the kind of person I'd get bored with quickly, and this article helped me understand why I do so.  There are other women I'm chatting with that I have yet to meet.  And I'm holding out some hope that one of them may like the overall package I'm offering when the time comes to see them....




https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/20/health/romantic-relationships-start-as-friends-wellness/index.html

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Dinner all by myself

 

I can be quite jovial when dining with friends.  But when I'm eating by myself, I often just want to get the meal over with so I can enjoy other activities that give me more pleasure.  Tonight was one of those evenings where I had no one to be with, and nothing I really wanted to eat.

- - - - - -

In the past, I'd be calling up a former friend in shooting the breeze.  I'd also be calling a (now) ex girlfriend for similar purposes.  But the issue still remained - how does one maintain his/her sanity when one wants a little companionship when none is available.

Humans are a very social species.  If we didn't know this before the pandemic, we certainly know it now.  If you could see all the people who were gathered around the above table, you'd see a smile on everyone's faces.  It was great to be able to get together after a year of being cooped up in one's home.

Could I have found someone to eat with today?  Possibly.  But would it have been worth it?  Probably not.  I needed some alone time....

Sunday, May 23, 2021

People are still getting used to a "post Covid-19" future

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 5 years since the above picture was taken.  I find it amazing how much I've grown being Marian, and how much I've lost at the same time.  No one can turn back the clock and relive the past.  Yet, one can learn from it, and see the shades of gray in someone else's arguments.  In my case, I've given up hoping that one person will see that I was also wronged in our disagreement, as this would mean she would accept a little blame for herself.  And this made me think a little more about FH.

- - - - -

About a week ago, I was out on a date with FH.  She got lost in her own frustrations when I was having troubles paying for parking using the machine which was provided for this purpose.  Not caring how I felt, she continued to make comments about the machine when I needed peace and quiet to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do next - before my frustration started to control me.  So I asked her to be quiet for a minute, and she said that she'd talk as much as she wanted - as if my issues were of no concern.  Eventually, we were told that we could pay at the exit gate (something I didn't know at the time), and we went to my car to go home.  In the car, I missed the turn for the exit, and she decided to give me a hard time when I said something to myself. She was obviously angry and looking to make me feel bad.  Once we finally exited the lot, she started to make a big deal about things, bringing up the Marian side of me, just to fight dirty in our argument.  So I was quite relieved when I dropped her at her apartment, never to see her again.

It seems like some women like doing this to men they no longer want in their lives.  Instead of saying that things are not working out, and I don't want to see you near my circle of friends, they sabotage things to make this happen.  They also do many other things instead of stating their needs.  In the case of FH, this looks orchestrated, as she first made a big deal of me "stalking her" on Facebook (I only left an active chat window open, and never bothered looking at her Facebook page - all she does is post photographs of herself there) when she unfriended me.  Even though she apologized, and said that she was loopy from a sleeping pill (I know that the pill was an anti-depressant, as I picked them up at the drug store for her once), she never looked to refriend me there.  I wasn't going to make the first move, as I knew something was up.  Then, when she asked me to come down on a Friday night and go to dinner where she knew things were crowded and problems would likely occur, this should have been another sign she was up to something.  When the argument happened it was no surprise - she simply looked for an excuse to achieve something she was too uncomfortable asking for.  She couldn't say that she simply didn't want me around, now that the Covid-19 pandemic restrictions had been eased off.

- - - - - -

There are so many people who can't communicate well.  And we're going to see a lot of strange behavior from people now that the pandemic restrictions are easing off.  Last night, I made a comment to someone that said simply - I hope you enjoy your evening.  And I got back a response that reflected some of the awkwardness I saw in FH.  What is it about people who can not see shades of gray?  More importantly, what is it about the pandemic that brought out the worst in people?

As things open up, people will struggle to find a new normal. Yes, vaccinated people will continue to wear masks for a while. This will also ease off over time. But what about the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers? Will they freeload off of our immunizations? Today, I saw this message coming from a person in my gaming group:

I know how kind hearted you both are, but are visitors allowed to ridicule adults who refused to get the vaccine without any rational reason?  If this is prohibited, can we at least use "veiled" insults, like, "What's with the mask indoors, Count Maskula?" Or, "Hey, you do know the Earth is round, riiiiiiiight?"

Asking for a rage filled friend who has problems keeping quiet on certain subjects.

I'm vaccinated.

Sincerely,

Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Although I know this friend is being a little humorous, there is a cynicism implicit in his email.  I'm pretty sure that I know who this person is talking about.  But I'm going to keep my mouth shut unless someone makes an inappropriate statement, and will criticize the person for coming to a place where only inoculated people are welcome.

Tomorrow, I'll be going out to dinner with Vicki and going to the first indoor HVRW dinner since before the pandemic started.  Hopefully, it will be a pleasant night to remember.


PS: On the Monday after I wrote this entry, I received a message from FH. She wanted to say hello and to see how I was doing.  I mentioned that I was cleaning out my bedroom so that a contractor could reset an air conditioner sleeve.  She complained that we hadn't spoken in a week, and all I could do is talk about my AC.  Then, normally, you ask "how are you?" or say "nice to hear from you."  Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch.  I meant what I said about not calling her again.






Thursday, May 20, 2021

Dating is such a pain in the ass

 

My ex broke up with me shortly before the pandemic struck, and it was all downhill for a while.  When I received a hurtful email on my birthday, I knew that I could either continue to make things worse for myself and others, or to figure out a way to start healing.  In many ways, the less I say about the ex, the better.  So I will focus on the healing process.

- - - - - - 

A long time ago, I dated TCL.  And we decided to be "just friends" shortly afterwards.  Why did I not pursue a relationship with her?  She's the type of person who will meander from topic to topic, getting lost in the process.  In a way, it's like a programmer tracing code through a series of "nested IF statements" and getting lost in the depths of the statements.  TCL has to be interrupted in order for you to get a word in, and I don't think she realizes she does this.  If I don't get the chance to speak once in a while, I get bored.  Who wants to be bored by a person one might want to live with someday?  She was typical of many of the women I dated before meeting my ex girlfriend - all had one obvious trait that would get under my skin.

- - - - - -

My personal ad was out before the pandemic struck, but I met FH shortly after people were told they could meet outdoors while wearing masks.  No one really know how the virus spread in those days, and I can still remember driving FH home from the heart of Forest Hills.  She wasn't perfect, but she was better than having no one to keep busy with on weekends. However, this doesn't say much about FH.  She's an educated woman who was always commenting on her crazy family.  As the old saying goes, "it takes one to know one."  I'll always wonder if she asked herself whether she was as crazy as her siblings.  From what I can tell from her brother, he is a product of his environment and of his news bubble.  FH lives within NYC limits, and her brother in the suburbs. She's a Democrat, and he's a Republican.  Both siblings often see each other through a political lens.  Needless to say, I've heard her make incendiary statements about all Republicans.  Although they may be true of many in the GOP, it would be unfair to paint them all using the same brush.  Sadly, she's a person who doesn't know how to let things drop - and one has to do this in order to have a successful relationship.

During this time, I met FL, and we had a few dates before she backed away.  Of course, she was spooked by me as Marian, and broke up with me before we things got too serious.  FL and I are still friends, and we get along well.  Unfortunately, she now lives too far away for me to visit on a regular basis. 

But there were other women. GS lives in the Hudson Valley, and we had a handful of dates before the weather got cold.  There was no real chemistry between us, but my female presentation wasn't an issue for her.  Instead, I think that her financial situation was precarious due to the pandemic, and she had bigger problems to worry about than dating.

I won't go through the whole list here, but I've gotten to hate having to learn a bit about a person, only to forget it later on.  I want to spend my time building memories with someone who cares for me.  Maybe that's why I said I wasted 5 years dating one woman - I have only so much time left to build memories, and I hate wasting time before I find that person I can build memories with.

- - - - - -

Lucky, the pandemic seems to be easing off, and things are slowly returning to "normal".  Hopefully, some nice women will "swipe right" on my profile, and that one of them is a good match for me, and me for her....





Wednesday, May 5, 2021

I woke up early, and wished I could wake up late

 

Last night, I went to sleep early in an attempt to recharge after a long weekend.  However, my body clock had its own way, and woke me up almost 2 hours earlier than I wanted.  So, again, I was barely awake as I did my job in the morning, and became more awake as the day went on.

As Covid-19 worries recede into the past, people are starting to go in to their offices again.  This means that there is much more traffic on Route 9a heading South, and many more times that traffic will get screwed up by either an accident or a series of ultra slow moving vehicles.  (Garbage trucks and cement mixers come to mind here.)  So, getting out of the house by 7:15 may not be a viable choice anymore, if I want to get to work on time with time enough to get my breakfast sandwich.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should have taken this job in Mario mode.  I feel much better in a feminine presentation these days.  (I'm not uncomfortable as Mario.  I simply prefer to go out in the world as Marian, as I feel freer in a woman's role than in a man's role.)    The extra 30 minutes it takes for me to get ready to go out in the world as Marian is a small price for me to pay.

After work, I chatted with TCL, and then with FH.  However, I never made it to call any of the other women on my list, as I didn't have it in me to chat much.  Yet, I made it to my Tuesday night Zoom meeting with my friends in Texas.  This left me with no time to take care of any of the other items on my to-do list.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a day that I can catch up on things....

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Right now, I'm glad I have my job

 

If it weren't for having a job, I would be raiding my savings account for much more money than I've needed to do this year.  It's not the job I want to keep forever.  Instead, it's the kind of job to keep until I have something better to do.

It's nice being able to go to work as Marian on a regular basis.  Yet, this job does not allow the social engagement I would like.  Yet, I can't complain.  The job is exactly as was presented to me.  And I'll do it to keep from draining savings.  If a travel opportunity opens up to me, I may leave the job so that I can take my trip.

There's not much I can do to make my job more interesting.  I think of it as a form of electronic "whack a mole".  It lulls me to sleep when I'm tired, and I need to make sure I have my coffee before starting work.  By the end of the day, my body clock is waking the body up, so that it can go home safely.  My boss could put me in a different area.  Yet, I think he's trying to be nice to me by giving me an easy job to do.  No complaints will come from my area of the peanut gallery.

- - - - - -

The other day, FH wondered why I don't buy a new car.  The answer is simple.  I hate draining my savings accounts when I am living on an artificially low income.  TCL understands this quite well, even though she's on a tighter budget than I am.  I expect that by this time next year, I'll be looking at buying that new car.  Will it be a used car, like Vicki might get?  Or, will it be a new car, like I usually get?  Either way, I will need reliable transportation while working and while dating.

This job gives me way too much time to think.  I have to remind myself to focus on other things when my thoughts go where they would likely make me sad or angry.  Here, I'm glad that I've been listening to a series of TV shows dedicated to Meditation.  I've found that they relax me enough to fall asleep AND that they teach me certain coping skills I need to short circuit the cycle of anger and sadness.

- - - - - -

Now that the pandemic is easing off, too many people will be rushing to get out and about.  This is the time that I may be avoiding the growing crowds, as I still expect another wave of the pandemic to cause many of us grief.  Instead, I'll stay inside, work as hard as possible, and possibly save some money for future travel.

Sunday, April 18, 2021

Another Saturday, and I'm glad I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Some trans women feel that other prople want to see their "Cheesecake" pictures.  I'm a t-gal who takes this literally.  Here's a picture of the cheesecake I enjoyed tonight....

- - - - - -

But being serious....

After getting up late, I decided to do a little bit of cleanup and put some of my heavier winter dresses into a storage container, so that I would have room for more of my summer wardrobe.  And then, it was time to get ready to see FH.

I arrived at FH's place about 10 minutes late.  From there, we went to Forest Park to take a walk.  One problem - there was nothing worth seeing, as there weren't enough trees in bloom yet.  Se wasn't in the mood to walk for the sake of walking, so we took a drive around the pricey section of Forest Hills (where Patty lives) to see some pretty trees and nice houses from the comfort of the car.  Once we were done, it was off to the Milleridge Inn for dinner.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep seeing FH.  And the answer comes quick - until I meet someone more compatible, she serves my desire to date a woman during the pandemic. Now that the pandemic is easing off, I'm more aware of the incompatibilities that make me uncomfortable.  And I'm more aware that she is not the person I want to stay with too much longer.  She is not really interested in the things I'm interested in.  She likes to be a center of attention, always wanting to post pictures of her life on Facebook, instead of living it fully.  And, most of all, I don't think she understands, accepts or respects my TG nature.  So I will soon have to bail out of this relationship, in order to free myself for someone who is better for me.

The food at the Milleridge Inn was good, but the service was less than satisfactory.  They are ramping up to full capacity, and have yet to have enough staff on duty to service the tables.  I was far from happy that we had to wave at the wait staff to get their attention several times.  But I will not rule this place out for the future.  Instead, I will wait until they are ready to serve people in the manner they were accustomed to being served before the pandemic.

 

 

As we were going to the car, we saw this peacock walking around the parking lot of the Milleridge Inn.  FH wanted her picture taken with the bird, and I got several mediocre shots.  However, once I saw the bird, I knew I had to be extra careful while driving out of the parking lot.  Too bad that I couldn't take a picture of the "Peacock Crossing" sign we saw as we left the lot.

After a shopping trip to the drug store and supermarket next door, it was time to go home.  This is when FH brought up my TG nature and started making me feel uncomfortable with her statements.  So I tried to shift the topic away several times, and finally said that we will disagree on this. Then the topic changed with a little effort. By the time we got to her place, I was glad to drop her and her groceries off and then get back on the road to my home.

 

 

PS: I have yet to receive a response from my friend WDS.  Hopefully, he's still able to respond - even if only to tell me that he doesn't want to have me visit him.  

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