This will be my last weekend with RQS before my cruise.

 

 
Both RQS and I have been packing for trips.  As reported here, I have two bags going with me to Hawaii. RQS has two small bags going with her as she travels South to see her cousin.  I'm not going to say much about her trip here, save that her preparation is getting in the way of our time together.  😞

- - - - - -

It is normal for two people to spend time apart from each other.  After this weekend, we will be apart for the better part of 3 weeks - and I will miss her.  But there will likely be another period coming up where the 2 of us will be apart for just as long - assuming that I take a Panama Canal cruise as an excuse to see my 90 y/o uncle in California.

My uncle and I are not close.  Yet, he is my uncle, and he once gave me a gift more valuable than money - security in a stressful time.   Almost 27 years ago now, my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  I was busy with several projects at work, and one of them was visible to the CEO of the bank I then worked for.  Bush #41 had just signed a bill that protected people who needed family leave to take care of sick relatives, but didn't provide financial help for those people doing so.  Without knowing that my uncle's checkbook was open to my needs, I might not have been able to play political hardball and threaten to leave in the middle of a politically sensitive project.  As a result of my uncle's actions, I was able to force my management to give me the resources I needed to get the project done and be able to take care of my wife's needs as well.

In a way, I want my uncle to know that I'll be there for him if needed.  He is going through a stressful time, and he has no family nearby to count on.  (Yes, he has friends that are as close as family, but that's another story.)  So I want to check in on him in 2023, as my brother did in 2022.  Hopefully, he will appreciate the visit....

It felt good getting back in a dress again

 

Normally, I will try to blend in and wear what cisgender women would wear in a similar situation.  Tonight, I decided to go to game night in one of my new dresses.  It's something I feel comfortable wearing in casual situations, as well as going out for a Thanksgiving dinner - Something I did with the Navy version of this dress.  

There is something about a dress that shouts femininity.  And I like that.  However, our society is becoming much less formal, and women's wear is gradually evolving to become more like men's wear, with minor differences to accentuate the female form.  As much as I am glad that women now have the choice whether to wear a dress or not, I am saddened by the subtle loss of femininity in what the average women wears now days.

I'm still not sure of what I'll be wearing when I go to Hawaii.  I need to be comfortable at all points along the way from Newark, NJ to Honolulu, HI, traveling from winter to summer in less than 24 hours.  Right now, I figure that I'll wear a dress with both a camisole and leggings underneath on the way to Hawaii, and strip off the extra clothing as soon as I land in Hawaii.  On the return trip, I may simply reverse the process, save that I might not bother with the camisole. Layers, Layers, and more Layers....

One thing I know about Hawaii - I expect to be in a dress all the time I'm there, save for the time I'm in a swimsuit....

I "won" the bid for an upgrade - just another expense among many.

When I booked my cruise/tour with  NCL, I wanted to spend as little money as I needed to spend for a "bucket list" trip.  In this case, I paid for a city view room to stay in when in town, and an inside cabin to stay in when on the ship.  Since there was an almost $2400 difference between the price of a balcony cabin and an inside cabin, I figured that the money I saved would more than pay for the shore excursions I planned to take.  So, when I received an offer to bid on a cabin upgrade, I figured that I'd bid as low as possible and hope that NCL would accept the bid.

Normally, getting an upgrade to a balcony cabin would be a bargain for $220 (total).  In my case, I knew enough to bid low, as the ship is sailing well below 100% capacity due to staffing issues.  Given the ship's layout, I figured that I would get a room near the pool or buffet - and I was right.  Since my upcoming Hawaii cruise is not one known for late night partying, I figured that having a "winning" bid and being assigned a cabin upgrade in a non-optimal area of the ship would be an acceptable trade off.  Only time will tell whether I was right or wrong on bidding for the upgrade. 

Right now, I am packing and unpacking things to find an optimal grouping of items in my carry-on and my larger suitcase.  So far, so good.  The one main compromise I've had to make is that I've put my swimsuit and swim forms in my large suitcase (which will be checked at the airport).  This means that if the bag gets lost in transit, I will not be able to go swimming until it is found.

The big issue I have is finding a day use hotel to rest at when the cruise ends, as I have a 12 hour wait from the time we leave the cruise ship to the time I need to be at the airport.  (Who wants to spend 12 hours at an airport doing nothing?)  So far, I've found several expensive options, and I figure that I'll call a few places directly to make sure I'm connecting to a real brick and mortar place.

Not to blame anyone, but it feels that every way I turn, I find that the logistics of this cruise keeps needing new cash infusions.  For the 3 days I am touring Honolulu, I will have to take care of my own meals.  And then, there will be the tips I pay on land and on the cruise.  Although I paid for a transfer from cruise ship to the airport, I will skip it to catch a cab to a day use hotel to sleep for a while.  Around 7 pm, I plan to leave the hotel, take a shuttle to the airport, and catch the "red eye" back home.  This hotel will likely cost me $200, plus the money for a cab from the pier to the hotel, and a cab to the airport.  

As I keep reminding myself, this is a bucket list trip - a very big item on that list.

 

Colonoscopy

 

Recently, I had to take a friend in for a colonoscopy.  It's not the most pleasant experience to have, but it is usually not the worst.  When I had mine, they found a couple of non-cancerous polyps which were removed by the surgeon.  My friend had a similar result.

- - - - - -

Normally, I don't get up until 9:00 am (or later).  Today, I had set my alarms to wake me up a little before 6:00 am, but I was still very tired from the lack of sleep the night before.  This was a major factor in me deciding to see my friend presenting as Mario.  I was out the door at 6:30, and arrived at her house 10 minutes early.  Although construction blocked the road I'd normally use to get from her house to the hospital, I was still able to get her to the hospital on time for her procedure.  And then, it was off to the local diner for breakfast and a mega dose of caffeine. 

Two and a half hours later, I received a call saying that my friend could be picked up at the main entrance.  I drove to the hospital, waited for 10 minutes, and my friend was free to have breakfast.  So, it was off to the diner, and I had decaf while my friend had breakfast.  Once I dropped her off at home, it was time for a nap - and I was out for the rest of the afternoon.

When I was last scheduled for a colonoscopy, the pandemic hit and I didn't have anyone to drive me to and from the hospital.  So, the appointment ended up not being scheduled.  Two and a half years later, I still haven't had the procedure done.  Sooner or later, I will need to have this procedure done.  But until then, I have other things to take care of first.

 

I had to buy some makeup today.

It's amazing how quickly I use up my containers of makeup.  I figure that I will buy two or three containers of Dermablend every year, while I buy three or four smaller containers of beard cover and of contouring makeup.  I don't bother to count how much setting powder and concealer sticks that I buy, as I easily make do with what I find in the stores.

Dermablend is not that popular a brand.  Yet, it is popular enough to have its own area in Ulta Beauty stores.  However, when I went to the new store in Hartsdale, no one knew where this makeup could be found.  Instead, I was directed to a different brand with a similar sounding name.  So I left the store, and had some falafel for dinner.

Once finished with dinner, I took a leisurely drive to Ulta's store in Dobbs Ferry, where I hoped that I'd have more success with their sales help.  When I found the makeup, I had to make a decision: Do I take a slightly different shade of makeup, or do I mail order the shade I really want.  Since the shade in stock works for me, I figured that a bird in the hand is better than one in the bush.  (Too bad that I didn't know that Dermablend's website was holding a 25% off sale.  But I digress.)  So, I bought the makeup, and took the roundabout way home.  (There was an accident blocking all Northbound lanes of the Saw Mill River Parkway, preventing me from using that route home.)  

I decided to make a quick stop at Trader Joe's to pick up some food.  As usual, I bought more than planned.  While checking out, the male cashier made some polite talk and said "Hope to see you tomorrow." Normally, I wouldn't think twice about this, save that he used the word "Tomorrow".  Could he be trying to send a subtle signal?  If so, he will be disappointed - both as Mario and as Marian, I prefer the company of women. And yet, I can take this as meaning that my feminine presentation is getting better than I might have thought.  What do you think?
 

 

Stone walls don't a prison make, nor iron bars a cage

As we age, we begin to see many of our friends enter assistive care facilities.  Sometimes, as in the case of XGFJ's mother, little assistance is needed to live a rewarding life.  In the case of my father, much more assistance was needed because my dad was no longer self ambulatory.  Like my father, some people prosper when in the right assistive care facility, as they can resume the socialization denied them by their former isolation.  But in the wrong facility, a social person can feel imprisoned.

When I visited Pat, I noticed how sterile and empty her new place seemed.  Save for the receptionist at the front desk, the place was devoid of people.  There was a small area to the right of the reception desk where kids could play, but I wondered - how many people are bringing very young kids to see their elders in nursing homes these days?  I rarely saw them when I visited my dad, and thought that this room was there more for show than anything else.

RQS and I walked to the elevator and got off on the 3rd floor. I was surprised at how quiet this place was.  Looking to my left, I saw another reception desk in front of us, this one being empty.  In another nursing home, or a hospital, it would be staffed by nurses in charge of patient care.  In this place, it looked like it was set up for a different kind of care facility, but left unused as it wasn't apparently needed to service the patients currently housed in this building. So, we walked down the aisle to Pat's room, knocked on the door, and were greeted warmly.

Pat and her daughter visited several care facilities before choosing this one.  It must have been heart wrenching for her to dispose of many of the things she accumulated over the years.  There was almost nothing from her old life present in the room.  The room was almost as sterile as the hall outside. And this said that this room was not "Home" for Pat.  It was simply a place to stay.

Unlike my dad's nursing home, Pat's place didn't seem to have the on-site services that my dad's place had.  For a place doing some of its business as a memory care center, I found it amazing how few safeguards were there to keep memory care patients from wandering off site.  People like Pat were tasked to find their own transportation to off-site doctors - and possibly get dropped off at the wrong sites with no one to help them get where they need to go.  Yet, they are prohibited from leaving the facility's grounds - even for a healthy walk.  Go figure.

The economics of nursing homes in the United States appalls me.  Like our prisons, many are places which have evolved to warehouse people who have no economic value to the larger society.  (I will not go into prison economics here, save that the "for profit" sector has very little incentive to treat inmates with the full respect that most humans deserve - something it has in common with nursing homes.)  As America ages, "for profit" nursing homes have sprung up, many with the goal of raking in as many Medicare dollars as is possible.  Service quality is not a major factor.  If it was, I'd see more evidence of "enrichment activities" than I did in Pat's facility.

Pat noted several things I won't mention here.  Let's say that one has to take what she said with a grain of salt - even if what she said rang true in my ears.  Without people to socialize with, Pat is now a lonely person with few ways of dealing with her feelings. In short, this place is a prison for her, a cage without bars.

 

We get old and don't see it happening

The other day, I reached out to my friend Pat, the former hypnotist, to see how she is doing.  And I found that she had moved out of her apartment in Lower Westchester county, and moved to an assisted care facility on the other side of the Hudson.  This news didn't surprise me too much, as Pat is 80 years old and was having trouble taking care of herself.  But what did surprise me was that she was having memory issues that made this home a better place for her to spend her final days.

I've known Pat for over 2 decades, and we have had many an interesting conversation in those years. So RQS and I decided to go across the river and meet Pat in her new digs.  Would they be nice?  Or, would they be a hell hole?  Would this be a place in which one could be happy in one's later years?  Who knows?  But this would all come out when we saw Pat.

Years ago, I dated a woman named Eileen who lived in the area where Pat's nursing home now is.  I'm now very familiar with the area, and suggested to RQS that we'd eat at a place 5 minutes away from the home.  This would allow us to get to Pat's place at 7 pm, and be able to take advantage of an excuse to leave - we were going to see a movie nearby, and needed to be there by 7:45.  I had chosen a Mexican place I had eaten at with MWL, but it had failed in the year since I went there last.  So, it was off to El Bandido for some Mexican grub.  The Bandit is an old standby, and it has been around since I dated Eileen many years ago. I knew the food would be good, and RQS agreed with me after we finished our Enchiladas.

Once done with our food, it was off to Pat's place.  The place looked both sterile and empty, and the only person other than Pat that we saw was the receptionist at the front door.  Once we knew where Pat's room was, it was off to her wing to see her.  It took a while for Pat to answer the door - there is only one person there with whom that she feels comfortable socializing.  And then, it was like "homecoming day."

All too soon, it was time to leave.  But RQS and I knew that we had a new thing to do - keep tabs on Pat for her daughter.  No one else will do it, so guess who had to step forward....

 

And now, we've booked another cruise

RQS has the cruising bug!  Ever since we went on our first cruise, she can't seem to get enough of cruising to new ports and exploring.

As of today, we are booked on an NCL cruise that will take us to Bermuda and back.  One of the problems with a typical Bermuda cruise is that there is not enough time on the island to explore and get a feel for the place.  Our cruise will give us that time, and we will still be able to skip unwanted ports such as Port Canaveral.

The two of us have similar tastes, and it's nice to have a travel companion with whom I can explore the world together.  I've noted that if I were to come into a significant sum of money, that I'd book a bucket list cruise for the two of us.  But that is a way off.  And then, how would I present on the cruise?  All of my ID says "Mario", when I want to do much of my traveling as "Marian".  So I'd be limited in where I could go, as most places are not trans-friendly.

So, I do my research in where we can go, and save my memories of a place to determine whether I can travel there as Marian in the future.  Not all of my travels will be on cruise ships.  But you can guess that a lot of them will be, as this is an inexpensive way to enjoy a vacation.

 

I'm thankful to have RQS in my life

 

My dining area hasn't looked like this in a while.  It now looks worse, but is getting better - with the help of RQS.  When we started cleaning up my apartment, things were much worse.  This table had become a dumping ground for things I hadn't gotten around to sorting out.  Now, with another hour or two of clean-up work, my table will look like it's ready for dinner.  And that's a miracle!

In the past 2 ½ years, this table has gone between clean enough for a cleaning lady to work on to a mess that would scare her away from the apartment.  And when we're done here, I start things with the cleaning lady, then start work on RQS's place.  She has even more stuff to prune than I did.  And it will be just as challenging task for her as my cleanup was for me.

As I've said in previous posts, I find it amazing how well we get along together.  I never dreamed that I would find someone comfortable with my transgender nature - and I found that person.  This is something I am very thankful for at this time of year....

Dealing with legal issues.

 

When my father died, my brother and I gained control of the family homestead.  We were lucky that my dad protected the house from claims from his creditors by giving the house to his 2 offspring, but retaining a life interest in the property.  In the years since my dad moved into the nursing home (and after he died), we have been trying to get around to seeing a lawyer to protect our interests in the property, so that it can be passed on to our heirs.

Recently, my brother and I finally got around to seeing the first of 2 lawyers to get proposals in how best to protect the property.  The first method we received is based on a constructive use of Trusts and an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation). We expect that the second law firm we visit will propose a similar approach.  Although my brother can set up a LLC (he does this quite often in his line of work), we agreed that if a LLC were to be set up for us, it should be done by external counsel.  This way, we won't be the ones to possibly screw things up if we have problems.

Admittedly, this is what people do when they have something valuable to protect and enough money to protect it.  I am very thankful that my parents raised us well, and that both of us have the resources and skills to provide for the rest of our lives. If anything, this is better than most gifts I could have received in life....

It's easy to binge watch TV these days

If I could change some things about the original Addams Family TV series, I'd have filmed it in color and have given it a run of 7 seasons.  It's a damned shame that some of the classic TV shows only lasted 2 or 3 seasons, and were under appreciated by TV execs at the time.  Given today's media environment, there is not enough product for all the streaming channels, nor are there enough non-reality shows to make TV interesting anymore.  RQS and I consider ourselves very lucky to grow up towards the end of the Golden Age of TV, as we were spoiled by 3 major networks still trying to define what popular TV would become.

For years, it was hard to watch many of the classic shows once they left the networks, and ended their runs in syndication.  The technology needed for people to binge watch their favorite old shows did not exist, or it cost too much for the average middle class family to buy.  However, things began to change once the average home had at least 1 VHS tape player (and later, a DVD player).  Now, people could rent shows from their local Blockbuster outlet, and watch them at their convenience.  Later on, the growth of the internet made it possible to stream shows from sources such as Netflix.  Now, it is possible to binge watch any show, as long as it can be found on the internet.

Many shows are still not available on the internet.  For example, I have yet to find any channel that makes Midnight Caller (with Gary Cole) available for streaming.  However, I have found that someone uploaded over-the-air recordings of this show to a streaming service, product which has seemingly been abandoned by its owners. This is one of many shows still unavailable to the public, unless one is willing to visit the Paley Center in NYC to view programs in its library.

Given that I have a family member who worked in the TV industry, I have an interest in quality TV.  I am saddened by all the so-called "reality" shows that seem to dominate the networks.  Unlike classic TV shows, these shows are cheap to make and can generate acceptable advertising revenue.  As for me, I have given up watching network TV, and have begun searching for classic shows (such as Perry Mason) on streaming channels to watch in my free time.  At least, I have a boxed set of The Man Show to make me laugh when I need to do so....

 

Sometimes, packages get lost for a while

This weekend, I found that Amazon Prime isn't always able to deliver products in 2 days.  However, it is not as much of an Amazon issue as it is an issue with its contracted carrier, UPS.  This item was expected to be delivered to my place by Friday evening, and delivery was delayed by events while the package was in UPS custody - somewhere in New Jersey.  

I'm not going to complain about this, as I don't need these trackers until I leave for Hawaii.  But I may have encountered a flaw in the "last mile" of Amazon's package delivery system.  Once a provider has a glitch in its' system, it can propagate to cause problems with other service/goods providers.  If snow shuts down an airport, it fouls up transportation for any person needing to use that airport while the snow is on the ground.  Both RQS and I wondered why the package was delayed when the package was in New Jersey.  Unlike Upstate New York, the weather shouldn't have been a factor in the delivery's delay.  Unfortunately, I doubt that we'll ever find out what caused the delay.

 

 

Things are starting to get serious

 

Have you ever read the passage from "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that reads:

 The time has come,' the Walrus said,
      To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
      Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
      And whether pigs have wings.

Well, to some degree my life has been like that as of late, as RQS and I have discussed the subject of me being transgender.  And I've let her know (in no uncertain terms) that I will not make any body changes that would get in the way of our romance.  But this sounds much more serious than the conversation we had. 

One of the things we can laugh about is my preference for presenting as a female and enjoying as much of my life as possible as one.  She is comfortable going to restaurants with me this way, as she sees the same person when I present as a male and when I present as a female.    RQS enjoys going shopping with me in female mode, as it is another activity we can share with each other.  But there is more to this relationship than laughter.  We seem to be able to read each other's mind at times.  Even with incomplete information, we seem to understand what the other is trying to say.  And, even more importantly, she is comfortable raising troublesome topics with me before they become major irritants.

Neither of us are sure of what our long term living arrangements will be.  But we are comfortable talking about arrangements for travel that will take place a year from now.  This feels much better than the relationship I had with XGFJ, as we both assume that we have a future together - and talk about it. It's a damned shame that I had to through the hell I experienced 3 years ago to get where I am now....

Sample Sale!

I love the quality what Universal Standard has to offer, and have always wanted to visit their site and go shopping in-person.  Unfortunately, Covid-19 put the kibosh on that until now.  Recently, a sample sale made this desire a reality for me, even though they have not yet bothered to reopen a retail outlet for their goods.

- - - - - -

When I made plans with RQS for this weekend, I figured that I could meet her for lunch in NYC, and then visit the sample sale being held two subway stops away. So, I took a 12:30 train into the city and met RQS for lunch in Union Square.  From there, it was off to the sample sale.  Although we got on the wrong downtown train, we were still able to make it to their ad-hoc store by 3:00 or so.  And then the fun began....

We made it to the entrance, only to see a sign telling us that people had to sign up for this sale.  Obviously, neither of us did that.  So I figured that it was OK to take the elevator up to their floor, as I didn't think that this notice would be enforced - and I was right.  The two of us were in a room as small as my apartment that oozed estrogen. 

Upon entry, a saleswoman greeted us, and told us to look around.  Everything was "organized" by size.  (I'd say that this was a loose description, as not everything was being put back in its original place.)  Out of 30+ people in the room, there was only 1 male, obviously a "non threatening" employee (please read between my lines). Although there was no changing room, it looked like the women's dressing room at Syms (a former clothing store from the New York area) - women in all stages of dress or undress were trying on clothing they found on the racks.  RQS said that it was like being in a woman's locker room when the gym was busy.  It was only too bad that I couldn't have gotten into the swing of things and try on some outfits.  But I was able to find a nice robe in my size, and bought it for $35.

Once done there, it was time to go back to my place.  It was the first time that the two of us took the commuter train together, and it was a nice ride up the Hudson....

 

Dinners with Vicki & TCL

Last night, Vicki and I went to a dinner at a restaurant holding a HVRW (Hudson Valley Restaurant Week) promotion. As usual, when I see Vicki, I presented as female. It was nice to be able to go out to a nice place and be treated as a lady.  

But I digress....

Every year, Vicki and I try to go out to at least one restaurant participating in the HVRW promotion.  This year, most of our favorite places which participated in the past were not on the HVRW list.  So we decided to and try out a new place, Lenny's in Larchmont, NY.  

Lenny's is housed in an old building on the Post Road, and it is not easy to find the entrance to its parking lot in the dark. There was a car in front of me that couldn't find the parking lot, and blocked me while waiting to turn off the Post Road.  Once on the side street, I went around the block with an idea towards entering the parking lot in the one area where I could expect a driveway cut - right next to the tent that covered the bulk of their parking area.  (There was parking at the bank across the street, but we didn't know it at the time.)  It was nice to know that we entered the restaurant while the other car was trying to park.

Once in the restaurant, we proceeded to look at the menu.  There wasn't that much that was interesting on the Prix-fixe menu, but we found two dishes we liked.  However, not much other than our appetizer jumped out and said "come here again". (3 Oysters and 3 clams on the half shell served over ice - Yum!) Vicki said that there was something missing from her fish dish, and I was only satisfied by my chicken dish.  Please note that both of our taste buds may have been off, as Vicki had just gotten over a cold, and I had other issues that could have affected my taste buds.  So I won't knock this place for how their dishes tasted until I have given the place a second chance.

- - - - - -

Tonight, I went to see TCL.  It's been months since we've gotten together, and we wanted to go back to one of our old standby places.  So, after taking care of some things around the house, it was off to New Jersey in Mario mode.

I was a little concerned about a noise my car made when driving from Walmart's parking lot.  After a few miles, I realized that I had the transmission in D3 mode - and corrected it right away.  But this spooked me enough to avoid taking the Bear Mountain Bridge and cross the river in Tarrytown.  This added extra time to my trip, but I was able to make it to TCL's on time for dinner.

Luckily, Justin's (in Hawthorne, NJ) had an early bird Prix-fixe special, and we both had a good meal.  I had a veal dish, while TCL had chicken. Both of us were satisfied, and I felt as if tonight's meal was better than the meal I had the night before.  Unfortunately, the wine affected me a little, so I had to wait a while (enjoying a cup of coffee) for my body to catch up in processing what I fed it.  By the time we made it back to TCL's place, I was OK and ready for my drive home.

- - - - - -

While with TCL, Vicki called me.  Her hubby was unexpectedly going to be away on the day of her colonoscopy, and she wanted to take me up on my offer of being a chauffeur.  Of course, I said "Sure!" as I knew she'd do the same for me if I asked.  Shortly afterwards, my brother called and asked about my schedule - he wanted to schedule a visit to the lawyer to discuss issues we have regarding the house we own together.  So that'll be another day booked in my calendar.  I think TCL may start to understand why I try to book things way in advance - life has a habit of filling one's calendar while one wants to make other plans.

I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....

 

Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes it eats you.

 

RQS was up here for the weekend, and we decided to visit the Norman Rockwell museum in Massachusetts.  I made the mistake of taking my least favorite road, the Taconic State Parkway, and got "rewarded" for my efforts - I fed the "Bear".  Yup, a "Smokey" nailed me.  This was my first ticket in years, and I will be paying for it!  AARGH!

But asides the assassination, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

I was surprised when RQS suggested that I spend the day as Marian, and we had a great time (ticket, not withstanding.)   She had never been at this museum before, and it was nice to be able to spend an hour looking at Rockwell's work. Getting ticket is an awkward feeling at best, and I was in female presentation at the time.  I was glad that the officer treated me with respect (he has likely seen everything in his line of work), and I was on my way with a minimum of wasted time.  

On the way home, we took slower moving roads, and ended up in Dover Plains, NY where we stopped into a local ice cream shop before it closed for the season. Yum!  If you're ever up in this area when the weather is warm, go visit them.  For me, it's a must stop when I'm driving on Route 22....

Lost and found

In the run up to my upcoming Hawaii trip, I have been buying things that I can use on my earlier cruises and on my upcoming Hawaii cruise.  So far, I have been already able to use a few of these items, the cruise power strip which has NO surge protector.  The Tile Item Locator proved its value on my recent cruise, as it saved a lot of time for me in locating my luggage at the pier.  And we enjoyed having the motion sensitive night light available when our cabin was dark.  Yet, there are still some items that I haven't used yet, one of them I almost bought again....

To prepare for Hawaii, I have started "packing" some of the above items, to make it easier when I have to load everything into my suitcases for the trip.  One of these items is the black carry case above, in which I plan to store a cell phone charger (with cable), a wired set of ear buds and a few other electronic gizmos. And it is this item that got lost in my apartment.

I've been looking for this carry case for a while, as it vanished without a trace.  No matter whee I looked, I couldn't find it in the several weeks since I first put stuff inside of it.  Since I would need these items when I traveled, it made sense for me to order replacements before my Hawaii trip.  But as luck would have it, they mysteriously appeared in the dark cavern between my mattress and the foot-board of my bed.

The moral of this story:  “Everyone has a photographic memory, some people don’t always have film!”

Supply chain issues strike again.

 

I depend on this product to keep my falsies in place while I go out and about as Marian.  Recently, I decided to place an order from my usual supplier, and found that they are out of stock.  This has not been the case in the previous times I wanted to place an order, so I asked the vendor what was up - and it was a supply chain issue.  They expected a new product delivery in the next few weeks, and that I would be able to place an order when their product is in house.

Although I will go back to this supplier, I decided to check out other suppliers.  And I found out that the other suppliers of breast form tapes supply an inferior product for my needs.  There is only one other supplier of breast form tapes (sold through multiple outlets), and I'd have to use 2 or 3 tapes instead of 1 to keep my falsies in place.

This is a supply chain problem typical of a niche product, and typical of many problems affecting our nation's supply chains today.  I feel that we have at least another year of these supply chain hiccups to go. Hopefully, we'll experience fewer and fewer of these hiccups, as things get back to a new normal.

Now, I have an idea of what to give two kids for Xmas

Every year, I've bought something for the two children of my game night hosts.  This year is the same, except that I have much less time to do so due to my upcoming trip to Hawaii.  Yet, I have an idea of what to give them now, and will be ordering their gifts before the holidays.

It's nice to have people to whom I give gifts, to share with.  I had an insurance policy from a fraternal benefit society which wouldn't allow me to designate these two children the secondary beneficiaries of this policy.  So I'll look to leave these kids a little something in my will, and hope that nothing happens to me anytime soon.

- - - - - -

My year-end Hawaii trip keeps coming nearer and nearer.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I have to make sure that I have all the little things needed for this trip, and have been an active customer of Amazon since the day I was irrevocably financially committed to this trip. Since this is a bucket list trip, I will be sure to get lots of photos of the trip and make some sort of travelog for it.

Although I intend to travel with RQS, I have a good feeling that it will be hard for her to keep up with me due to financial reasons. This is a reasonable believe, based on our previous careers.  So, if I'm going to be doing a bit of travel, I will need a profitable line of business to pay for it.  I have some ideas of how I will achieve this, but will avoid talking about it for now.

By the end of the year, I will have taken two bucket list trips, and plan to take more in the next few years.  Having checked off Alaska and Hawaii, I'll have to go much further afield for my next bucket list trip.  I'm hoping that I can check off more than one of my destinations with one trip.  But this takes time and money.  For example, there is a cruise that will spend 6 days in Iceland, plus several more days in the Norwegian Fjords.  One problem: This is one expensive 35 day cruise!  So I will likely need to be more realistic in how I check off items on my bucket list.  I could spend a week in London with my niece, then sail back to New York on the Queen Mary 2.  This is expensive, but a realistic way to do things.

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be able to check off another item on my bucket list.