Often, being Transgender is very mundane.

 

There are many trans people who get lost in the pink fog, and rush into things needlessly.  Yes, they have new found freedom in being able to express their authentic selves.  But they often forget that the real world usually doesn't care whether a person is trans or not.  As a result, many things slip while a trans person explores her/his new place in the world.  Eventually, the trans person and reality have to get back in sync with each other, and the mundane things in life take over.  This is not a bad thing.  A successful transition will enable one to experience the mundane as one's authentic self.

As my loyal readers will note, many of the entries I've posted in this blog are not those where going out in the world is a novel experience, as they were in my previous blog.  Instead, my current entries are those which deal with the issues I face in life - either as a male or female.  Many of them have unusual twists, such as my travels while presenting as a female and carrying male ID.  Yet, I try to say things that might be of interest to the trans person just coming out.  It takes a lot of courage for many trans people to out themselves.  And for many, they are unable to be completely out because of their real life commitments.  For example, one trans woman I know is a doctor whose wife accepts her presenting as a female, as long as she doesn't go 24x7. (There are issues with both her career and her family that get in the way of being out to the world.)  Another trans woman I know outed herself, and lost contact with many in her family. Trans people often lose family, friends and careers in order to be their authentic selves, so I encourage trans people considering outing themselves to think things through and be careful when they do so.

At my stage of being trans, I exist in a happy medium.  Since I am not very gender dysphoric, I can live in either gender as needed.  But I must revert to being Marian for my sanity.  I am comfortable staying at this point in the transition process for romance, unlike many trans folk. And in this way, I am lucky, as I have someone who accepts me for who and what I am now.  Others are not so lucky.  Recently, I found out that one trans woman I know reverted to her male identity for romance,  and has recently returned to a female identity.  (Did romance influence either or both changes?)   

One thing I wish I could change more effectively is my voice - it is still picked up as being male on the phone.  And this is something that many M2F trans people have to deal with.  A trans acquaintance of mine had surgery to raise the pitch of her voice. But she is still perceived as a male over the phone, as her speech patterns still have a masculine imprint.  It takes a lot of work to develop female vocal mannerisms, but it doesn't get in the way for most of us in our lives.

So now, we end up dealing with the mundane.  I still have to pay my bills throughout the month.  I still have doctors' appointments for our ailments (as I will have a week from today for a GI Tract issue).  And I still need to take care of the everyday tasks of life, such as laundry.  Most of the time, a trans person's life will be mundane, as other than our gender dysphoria, we are living everyday lives.  Even when something "exciting" happens (such as having a wallet stolen in Chicago), I do what I would be doing as if I were simply a cisgender person, and am treated the same as if I were just a cisgender person.  The only difference is that I have to be on the watch out for people who hate trans people because we don't fit into their view of the world.  And that's a small price I pay for being my authentic self.....     

A "Short" Weekend

 

It's been hard keeping my composure as of late.  Although I am slowly recovering from the theft of my wallet and the loss of my backpack (with old Chromebook and assorted supplies), I do not yet feel back to normal, due to GI-Tract issues I'll soon be seeing a doctor about.  (My internist told me to contact a specialist, and I'll be dealing with triage procedures next week.) So, with the exception of my health, most of the other issues are being managed to my satisfaction.

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On Friday, RQS came to Croton.  Our plans were to do some leaf peeping before the last of the leaves fell to the ground.  Unfortunately, most of the leaves were already on the ground when we started our Saturday excursion.  However, this wasn't so bad, as it was a day I could get out in the world as Marian and show RQS some of the vistas that can only be experienced in the Hudson Valley.

We started our trip by crossing the Hudson and taking side roads through Harriman State Park.  There were a lot of great views to be captured, but there were too many people following us for me to stop for her to take snapshots.  Once out of the park, we headed North towards Walden, where we made the mistake of pulling into a Dunkin Donuts, where the help totally ignored us for several minutes.  After a reasonable amount of time, I took RQS by the hand and exited the shop to get a snack at the hotdog/ice cream stand next door.  Going there for food was almost as bad as stopping at DD's, as we had reactions to food that tasted excessively greasy.  We will never stop there again.  At that point, I felt it was time to go home, and we crossed the Hudson to take in the views from Fahnstock State Park.  At least, this time, RQS could get some photos.  

Finally, we returned to Croton with a quick stop at the dam, where she got some nice pictures.  Although the park was supposed to close at 5:30 pm, there was no way they would be able to clear out all of the people there before the sun set.  It was too nice a day in October for anyone to rush home, as this would likely be the last nice day we'll get until Spring.

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Sunday came, and we did nothing all day.  So I won't talk much about that.  But I was supposed to receive 2 shipments from Amazon that never came.  They were delayed until Monday, and weren't delivered until RQS got home.  As I said, I'm still replacing things I lost when I misplaced my backpack at Croton-Harmon station.  Hopefully, though I doubt it, MNRR lost and found will have the backpack the next time I go into NYC by train.

Looking forward to traveling again.

 

Next year, RQS and I are planning on taking another "Bucket List" cruise, this time to the Norwegian fjords.  It'll be the last year that traditional cruise ships will be allowed into several of the fjords, so we decided to do it now and hold off on other cruises we may have taken first.

Right now, I have only 3 cruises planned, 2 of them fully paid for.  One of these cruises will have RQS and I spending 3 days in Bermuda, and the other will be an effective repeat of a cruise I took with XGFJ several years ago.  On the latter cruise, I'll be alone and presenting as a female.  Unfortunately, the one time I want to spend the money to have a portrait photo taken of me presenting as Marian, the cruise ship doesn't seem to have to have the portrait studio experience I want - something similar to what I experienced on Princess as Mario.

One of the things that excites me is the opportunity to travel and see new places.  Sometimes, I want to go back to places such as Alaska and Hawaii. And that brings me to the topic of last minute trip booking.  A while back, I started looking at last minute prices for the Hawaii cruise I took last year. And I could take the cruise portion of that trip for a very cheap price this year.  If you look at the pricing for the cruise above, you'll note that there is an important anomaly - the studio cabin is priced more than both an inside cabin and an ocean view cabin. For only $300 more than the studio cabin, the solo cruiser could cruise in a balcony cabin.  Add $1,000 for the airfare, and $500 for hotel stays,  and one could do this bucket list trip for about $3,000-$3,500, excluding shore excursions.

Although cruising is getting more expensive these days, it still can be a relative bargain.  One has to be willing to get into the nitty gritty and search for pricing anomalies like the one above.  But bucket list trips such as a Norway cruise are rarely discounted.  Hawaii prices will soon go back to normal, and I expect Alaska prices for good itineraries to be at a premium next year.  

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Not all of my travels will be by sea.  RQS and I are planning on doing another "Girls' Trip" with our friends from Texas.  Hopefully, they will be able to fit this trip into their schedules and budgets.  Shortly after our Chicago trip, I floated the idea of visiting San Francisco in the fall, given the low prices I've seen at a few hotels there this year. Some of the places I stayed in a decade ago are very reasonably priced, and I have found a few bargains that are accessible via mass transit.  We could fly into SFO, then take BART to Embarcadero, then take the Trolley (or bus) to a hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. This is a trip which deserves more time than we spent in Chicago, and may require the rental of a car for a day.

RQS and I may do another trip to Washington, DC, as well as a trip to Philadelphia and a trip to Boston. All of these cities are easily reached by Amtrak, and that helps keep our costs down.  Unfortunately, being in the Northeast poses another set of problems - it's harder for a frugal traveler to find bargains here. But if one avoids using a car and uses mass transit efficiently, one can make many a trip in this region affordable.  So don't be surprised to find me reporting on a spur of the moment trip soon....

Two items of note regarding Electric Vehicles

 

I saw the above vehicle today, as I went to the bank to clarify an issue I had with newly issued credit cards.  And it got me thinking about the future of these vehicles.

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For a long time, I've held that it is unlikely that we will meet the political deadline set by the governors of New York and California to end the sales of internal combustion vehicles.  But I'm not as sure as I once was due to the use of electric vehicles by two people in my circle of acquaintances. (Only one of these people drives a Tesla.  The other drives a Nissan Leaf.)  Although I could make a case for a Tesla being a person's only car, I can't say that yet for any other brand of electric vehicle.

Today, I saw an article noting that Toyota has developed a battery that could get 750 miles on a single charge AND be fully charged in 10 minutes.  Assuming that the cost of manufacturing these batteries could be brought down to a reasonable price point (even Toyota says this technology is not ready for prime time) and that the charging station infrastructure can be fully built out in 12 years, I feel that it might be possible to migrate to a fully electric transportation economy.  These, still, are two gigantic ifs!

The above vehicle is classified as a motorcycle by New York state law.  If you look at the steering control in the top picture, you'll see something resembling handlebars.  I wonder if the driver of this vehicle still has to wear a helmet.  I'm also concerned that entry doors (if any) on this vehicle are removable, and that climate control (both air conditioning and heat) does not exist for this vehicle.  

Years ago, I saw a internal combustion (ICE) commuter vehicle designed for a single driver, whose price point was set at $7,500.  In 2016, I was able to sit inside one of Elio Motors' ICE prototype vehicles. Unfortunately, Elio Motors' ICE product never made it to market - gas prices stayed cheap, and people were able to buy new and used ICE vehicles at a price point which took away the market for Elio's product  Today, Elio is looking to sell an electric vehicle for $15,000.  Elio realizes that any vehicle being sold in this market needs standard safety features found on current model cars, needs appropriate climate control for passenger comfort, as well as other features now found on current model cars.

Would I buy an electric vehicle designed to carry only two people?  I'm not sure any more.  I'd still want a ICE car for long distance travel.  But, if Toyota's technology proves to be practical and affordable in the near future, I'd consider an electric version of a 4-dor sedan.  Yet, if I had the ICE vehicle, I'd consider a 2-person electric commuter vehicle for short trips.  As you can see, electric powered vehicles are a growing share of the transportation market, and is creating confusion while the transition from ICE vehicles to Electric vehicles takes place.....

Poly = Many, Tics = Flesh Eating Insects

 

As I write this, the House of Representatives has just elected a new Speaker - an ultra conservative lunatic. Why do I call him a lunatic?  Anyone who opposes late term abortions to preserve the life of the mother has to be crazy.  His policies, such as a total late term abortion ban, if enacted, will put the lives of many cisgender women at risk.  Even though I am transgender, and never will directly have anything at risk with this policy, I have to fight for those that do - else, I will have no excuse to ask cisgender women for help when these lunatics attack us transgender people.

The previous speaker was elected after 15 votes.  Before the election was over, no actions could be taken by the house.  Due to an action from a radical from the far right, the first speaker was removed from his position, and it took 3 weeks for a new speaker to be elected.  Since they didn't change the rule which allowed the former speaker to be removed, I fully expect that we will see someone invoke it to remove this speaker when the current spending bill expires.  (Will we have a government shutdown or not?  A House without a speaker when the spending bill expires will be a disaster. But I don't put it past the far right....)

So, where am I going with this?

Right now, the "right" is busy fighting amongst its allies.  Moderate "conservatives" are being coerced to give their votes to the radicals. (Look at how Jim Jordan's allies allegedly gave death threats to people who didn't support him for examples of this coercion.)  My congressional representative voted for the current speaker of the house.  This cemented my resolution to be part of the bloc that (hopefully) votes him out next year.

Given that transgender people will continue to be a target of the far right, I expect that attacks against us will resume soon.  This means that we must continue our efforts to get more trans people into positions of power, so that we (and our allies) to check and balance the power of the lunatic right until sanity (hopefully) can be restored to the GOP.

Most of us are not ready to "out" ourselves and be targets for the lunatics on the right.  But we can vote for our allies.  So, it's time to register to vote, and participate in local politics when possible.  As they say, all politics are local.  That's where we can make our first stand against lunacy.   And I intend to do just that....

Visiting a friend sitting Shiva, then spending more money.

 

This morning, I was supposed to have brunch with SJM.  However, we postponed it, as the place we planned to go to was closed - as in no longer in business. (Or, so my friend said.)  And this was just as well for me, as I didn't have the energy to get showered, dressed, and made up as Marian until later in the day....

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When I finally got up and moving, it was well into the afternoon.  This was the last night my friend would be sitting Shiva, so I knew that I had to be there tonight.  So around 5 pm, I shaved, showered, and dressed - and was out the door by 6 pm.  Since I knew I was going to buy a new wallet and not use the one I bought through Amazon, I packed my license, money, and a couple of credit cards into my handbag and went to my friend's place.  It was perfect timing, as I got to spend some one on one time with my friend before people started coming over for the zoom service.  This gave me a good opportunity to leave, as I still had a couple more places to go to yet.

My next stop was Micro Center in Yonkers, where I bought a 30W USB-C charger, so that I could fast charge my phone when needed.  After that, I went to Target to pick up a woman's wallet - and found one that was close to fitting my needs.  So I bought it. 

Next, I went home to take care of things.  I transferred the replacement credit cards into the new wallet, but will not use them until I record them in my data base of card information.  And then, I cloned my BJ's card, so that I can scan it when shopping for less than 10 items.  (Larger purchases will require me to present as Mario and use the legitimate card I have.)  Hopefully, I'll be able to get a BJ's card which doesn't have a picture on it (I saw one when I was last there), and I'll put that in my female wallet for use.

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One thing of note.  I wasn't able to stay asleep last night.  So I decided to catch up on co-op work and write up two sets of meeting minutes.  It's enough to bore someone to sleep, and it helped to put me into the right frame to go back to sleep....

I went to NYC today ...and left 15 minutes after I arrived.

 

A while back, I reported here that I left my backpack in the washroom at Croton-Harmon station and that someone picked it up.  Usually, it takes 3-5 business days for a lost item to make its way from a MNRR railroad station to their Lost and Found office at Grand Central.  This week, it will take longer, due to the mudslide over the Hudson Line's tracks that too place over the weekend. 

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My day started with a visit to the doctor (I referred to this in the past 2 days' posts), followed by a call to a credit card company, ending up with a call to make an appointment to see a doctor about new GI-Tract issues I'm having.  This was not a pleasant start to the day.  But, with a co-op board meeting coming up in the evening, I made a decision to try to make it into Grand Central and back within a 4 hour window, so that I could start the board meeting at 6:00 pm.

Given that I didn't want to trust travel on the Hudson line, I chose to drive to a convenient subway station where I knew I could park for free.  Luckily, I found a spot in front of the station entrance, and swiped my Metrocard to get in the fare control area - and not much too soon, as the train came about a minute later.  Around 3:30, I got off the subway and made it to the lost and found office.  Unfortunately, my backpack did not make it to Lost & Found yet.  They haven't been bringing "found" items from the Hudson line to Grand Central for a while.  Things are backed up, and the mudslide just made things worse.  The man at the front desk updated my claim form to mention the computer, and said that I may have a good chance for backpack/computer recovery.  (Keep your fingers crossed....)

Once done with Lost and Found, I made it back on the subway, and was back at my car by 4:30.  However, it took me almost 90 minutes to make it from the Bronx to Croton due to rush hour traffic.  At least, I was able to start the co-op board meeting "on time", and conclude it in less than 90 minutes later.  What a relief to NOT have the old site representative in our meetings!  Our average meeting time has been cut in half.  And we might be getting better service from the firm as well.

I can't wait for the new year to come.

 

This year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride for me so far.  My savings are draining quicker than expected, but they are well within the limits I set when I quit my job at the imaging company.  I'll have gone on 3 cruises by year-end, and have explored both Washington, DC and Chicago on multi-day city visits.  And, I have finally had to meet my friends from Texas for the first time in person.  With the exception of losing my backpack and having my wallet stolen, it has been a pretty good year so far.

However, things aren't always what they appear to be from the outside.  I still have billing issues with a health insurance company, and I'll need help getting this resolved once and for all.  My car is 10 years old and in need of replacement.  I'm still monitoring my credit reports to see if any bogus credit applications have been made using information from my stolen ID.  And, there is still one card that can't validate who I am, causing me problems in replacing the card.  Finally, I have a medical issue that will keep me up at nights until it is resolved.

It would be nice to assume things will be OK.  But I can't do so with any of the things I deal with right now.  Hopefully, none of them will cause me too much grief in the time left in this year.

The other day, I saw a vision from the past.

 

Sometimes, one sees the remnants of businesses that no longer exist, that were around in one's youth.  Bohack supermarkets is one of those long shuttered businesses.

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I can still remember seeing Bohack stores in the New York area.  Yet, I always wondered what happened to them.  When I did some research, I found that this business was larger than I remembered, as it had expanded into auto products and restaurants before the great depression.  (These businesses were dropped because of the depression.)  Later on, it was taken over by Gulf and Western industries, and over expanded into bankruptcy, finally shutting down in the 1970's.

Why is this important?

It's  a given - all things have a definite lifespan. I worry about my lifespan, given health issues such as my weight, blood pressure, etc., that are risk factors that could shorten it.  Right now, I am dealing with one issue that scares me a bit.  I feel well, but there is an unmistakable sign of a serious problem that must be taken care of - and soon! By the time this post is public, I will be in the process of seeing a doctor about it.  (I should say, at first, only a front line practitioner is doing triage regarding medical symptoms, and that I expect that I will need to see the specialist shortly afterwards.)

Hopefully, I will be OK after I am examined in depth, and that nothing is found that can't be fixed.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

A visit to the Onderdonk House in Queens, NY

 

Each year, Open House New York (ohny.org) sponsors a weekend where the public is given free access to many historical sites in New York City.  Today, RQS and I went to see one of these sites, the Onderdonk House in Queens.

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Given how things have been this week, I decided to spend a single overnight with RQS.  Although I arrived at her place on Saturday, it was a little too late to do much of anything that day.  But on Sunday, it was a different matter - we got out of her apartment around 1 pm, and were over at the Onderdonk house by 2:30 pm.

Normally, RQS would not have traveled alone to this place, as it is in an industrial section of queens, and the nearby neighborhood is a little sketchy.  However, with me by her side, she felt comfortable in making this trip.  

Although we ended up taking the wrong bus to get home, there was nothing that an Uber couldn't fix. We decided to go to a nearby restaurant for an early dinner, then go back to her place afterward.  I was feeling very tired, so I left her place early and drove home - trying to stay awake on the drive.  

Once home I had to deal with a GI tract issue, and I became glad that I was seeing the doctor in a couple of days.....

A dreary day where I had to stay in the neighborhood

 

I had 2 things I had to take care of today (Friday), and both went in directions I couldn't expect.  Both of them required me to present as a male, and I couldn't wait to get back in my dresses again.  One problem, I won't feel comfortable being in a dress until I have a wallet I am comfortable carrying again....

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The first thing on my docket was transferring money for the co-op, so that we could begin work on a long needed project.  However, I didn't have a good way to prove my identity without a legal ID with a picture on it.  How could I make the transfer without photo ID to prove who I am?  Well, the teller was sharp, and understood the problem.  Since my personal account is with the same bank, they could look up my cell phone number and text me.  One problem - my cell phone has problems receiving signal in some buildings.  Again, the teller came to the rescue - the bank's guest Wi-Fi.  Finally, I could make the transfer - but I made it to the wrong account.  (Guess where I am going tomorrow morning - three guesses, first two don't count.)  AARGH!

Next was waiting for the furniture delivery people to arrive and replace my old sofa.  They came on time, and found that my problem was caused by the first delivery people screwing up the setup - they couldn't plug in the final connector to get the recliner mechanism working.  But these guys did, and I didn't need a new sofa after all.

At this point, I took a nap.  

Later on, I looked for furniture sliders for carpets, but didn't find them in the stores.  Yes, I know that I should have found them.  But it's another item I'll be ordering from Amazon soon.  (It's amazing how much business I give them each month.  But it's better than dealing with Walmart.)  The one thing I'll miss about shopping is that I no longer have my (altered by me) BJ's card which listed my name as Marian and had my female image.  Sooner or later, I'll have to find a way to get a card in my female name....

Summing up problems - a quick post

 

So far, I have had to cancel several credit/debit cards, as well as replace my ID.  But this is not all, as I could never remember all of what I had in my wallet at the time I lost it.

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Today, my one excursion out of the house was to file a dispute with one of the banks issuing my credit cards, as  a transaction I thought was cancelled wasn't.  Luckily, the person on the call when I reported the card stolen told me to report the theft to the police and get a copy of the report.  This would prove very useful in a dispute - and I probably needed it....

My friends from Texas are amazed that I got so much done over the past couple of days.  Yet, I couldn't get the messes in my place cleaned up - even with a furniture delivery tomorrow afternoon.  What bothers me is that I won't be able to return to a female presentation for another few days yet, as all the appointments I have expect me to be presenting as a male.

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Sometime over the next few days, I have to visit a friend who is sitting Shiva.  Her mom was almost 98 years old, and had both a long and a good life.  The measure of a person is how much s/he is cared about (in a loving way) as s/he goes through life.  This woman was loved by the people who knew her.

The above gets me to think - It's been a while since I've seen Vicki #2, and I have to make the time to see her.  I might have seen her once after her spouse's memorial service.  But that's because our schedules did not permit getting together.

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So, to sum things up - my problems are first world problems that can be fixed with time and/or money.  Other people can and do have it worse....

Chicago Girls Trip - The Aftermath

Now that I returned from Chicago, I had to take care of many things related to the theft of my wallet.  First, I had to call the remaining credit card companies that I couldn't reach on Monday to close the accounts to new transactions.  Then, I had to replace the documents I had kept in my wallet related to my driver's license, car registration and car insurance. Following that, I had to visit two banks to make sure that the correct cards were cancelled, and that new ones would be on order.  For all of these tasks, I was glad to have my US Passport handy, as this would serve as government issued photo ID for every procedure that requires photo identification,

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I  should feel more exhausted than I do right now.  But I think I'm running on a steady flow of Adrenalin in my arteries.  When I texted RQS, STX, and JTX, they told me that I accomplished a lot in a short day.  In reality, one can accomplish a lot if one has a good plan.  Although I'm good at doing things on the fly, it helped for me to write down a list of things to do before I started out for the day.  This way, I would know how to adjust things when circumstances dictated a change in plans.

Just before I went to bed, I noticed that the fraud unit of American Express stopped payment on the wrong purchase.  The thief made a bogus charge to Target, and I made a legitimate charge to the Frank Lloyd Wright trust, and the chargeback went to the wrong parties.  So I called Amex at 2:00 am to get this fixed while I was awake enough to do so.

Monitoring both credit card charges and my credit reports will become a regular thing for the foreseeable future, especially when it's time for me to turn off credit freezes so that I can finance a car I plan to buy.  The big question will be: What kind of car do I want and how much will I finance?

Chicago Girls Trip - Day 3

 

Off to the left (mostly out of this picture) is a building called "The Rookery".  It is an anomaly, as Frank Lloyd Right was tasked with renewing another architect's work and did so in magnificent fashion - working in a style that enhanced the original architect's vision instead of obliterating it.

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RQS and I had our last breakfast with STX before going our own ways.  (JTX had to leave much earlier in the morning, as she had a 7:00 am flight, and couldn't be with us.)  We left STX waiting at the bus stop while we headed off into the Loop for a tour of the Rookery. 

Our trip into the look was uneventful, but my back was bothering me again.  But I was gallant, and soldiered on through an our of walking and standing.  We learned a lot about this building, and were planning to visit the Federal Reserve's Money Museum after the Rookery.  Unfortunately, my wallet was stolen, and I spent the rest of the day dealing with the loss. (I documented this day in a prior entry.)

Instead of eating a nice dinner out for our last Chicago meal, we ate some take-out chicken. But I couldn't relax.  I was still dealing with being hyper stimulated, and being in a vicious cycle loop of worry.  I couldn't sleep - and I wished I could all through the night/

I learned something though - be ultra careful with one's wallet and contents when not in familiar areas....

Chicago Girls Trip - Day 2

 

The second full day of our trip started with another breakfast at the Egg Harbor Cafe.  And again, RQS and I got up at the awful hour of 7:00 am to be ready in time to eat.  But to see our friends, it was worth it.  They went out of their way to see them.  So we knew it was right to do the same.

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Once done with breakfast, it was time to go to the Willis Tower and go to the Skydeck.  The above picture was taken from there, and on my previous visit, I saw a plane flying BELOW the level on which I was standing.  But I digress....

All 4 of us knew what we had to do to reach the Skydeck  This time, we got there early, and we got there on a day where we were able to see something other than rain in front of us.  After a little time killing, we went up to the observation deck.  On this visit, I was underwhelmed.  When it came time for us to stand on the Ledge (a 1.5" thick plexiglass platform jutting out from the building), it was mobbed. 10 years ago, people weren't making an effort to stand on the Ledge.  Now, people pose there for some interesting photos which then can take home and forget about. Yes, I bought some of those pictures, and have sent digital copies to RQS, STX, and JTX as souvenirs of our trip.

After the Skydeck, it was off to the Magnificent Mile, and the Billy Goat Tavern.  The original Billy Goat is classic Chicago, and the model for Saturday Night Live's Olympia Diner skit. Even now, you'll hear the chant of "Cheeborger, Cheeborger, Cheeborger" several times during a typical visit. And from there, we explored the Mile, and then took the bus to the river where we explored a control house for one of the Chicago River's Bascule bridges.

Walking was beginning to take a toll on us, and we decided to go for some Deep Dish pizza to finish off our time together with a filling meal. Yum!  Over dinner, we talked of many things, and we all hoped we could get together again next year.  San Francisco came up, and it is high on our list of options.  Given a choice, I'd vote for the City by the Bay.  Maybe next year at this time?  We'll see....

Chicago Girls Trip - Day 1

 

What was it that John Lennon said?  "Life is something that happens while you are making other plans."  Well, our first day in Chicago was one where we started to try to do things according to plan, and where our actions diverged from the plan shortly after we started.

We met at 8:30 am (a big stretch for RQS and I), and had breakfast at a local eatery.  Once done with breakfast, we marched off to our first stop in a light rain - the El that would take us to the Bus's starting point.  And that's where our plan unraveled.  The train that would take us to the Loop was late, and we had to try something else.  And that's where we got lost - even with the use of Google Maps!  (I hate their walking instructions, as it's too easy to go in the reverse direction from where one wants to head.)  After some effort, we got to the Willis Tower and got on the bus.

Our first stop would be the Art Institute of Chicago, where we spent a couple of hours skimming what the museum had to offer.  There is way too much to see in one visit, and we were not out to perform a superhuman effort to do so.  After a quick lunch, it was off to the Field Museum for a while.  That's where my back problems got to me, and I had to sit down more than walk.  Once done there, we went out to catch the tour bus that would take us to Navy Pier, a tour bus that didn't come.

When we had waited 45 minutes, we decided to use our multi day passes for Chicago's mass transit system, and take a local bus to Navy Pier.  (This might have been a mistake, as the tour bus came shortly after we gave up on it.)  It was bitterly cold all day, and we needed a place to warm up and eat before our scheduled night time river tour.  Luckily, we found it at the pier.  But we ended up skipping the river tour.

After dinner, luck finally smiled upon us, as a bus that runs along Chicago avenue was waiting at the bus stop, and we found we could take it directly to our hotel.  So we did!

Besides the asassination, how was the play?

 

After this weekend, I am not sure that I will bother with Chicago again.  Most of the trip was great, but it was book-ended by events that soured me on a lot of things.  But I will go into that after a brief reporting of our Girls Trip to Chicago.

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There were 4 of us scheduled to spend a long weekend in the Windy City: STX, JTX, RQS and me.  I'd be traveling in female mode for the entire trip, with only my masculine legal ID available to get me through airport security.  (More on that later.)  It would also be the first time that RQS would be taking a trip with me solely presenting as Marian.

I had packed both my suitcase and my backpack, and took a cab to to Croton Harmon station.  Well, I was so absent minded, that I left my backpack with my Chromebook in the washroom - and it was gone by the time I went back for it.  AARGH!  If I'm lucky, Metro North may find it, and then bring it to Lost and Found at Grand Central Terminal.  But to claim it, I need legal ID - of which I left a backup version (US Passport card) in that bag.  (Again, more on this later.)  So I took the cab back to my apartment, so that I could get a new supply of medicine before the trip.

The next few days with the girls was mostly uneventful.  (More on this later.)  We had a great time exploring Chicago, going to the Field Museum, the Art Institute, and Navy Pier on our first full day there, and then going to the Skydeck (Observation level at the Sears/Willis Tower), and then the Magnificent Mile on our second full day there.  After STX and JTX left for home, RQS and I went to the Rookery to see this classic building.  And that's where my troubles began.

After our Rookery tour, we went to a local place to have lunch.  That's where my wallet was stolen.  AARGH!  Instead of going to see the Money Museum at Chicago's Federal Reserve Bank, we ended up making phone calls to banks to cancel credit cards, and going to the South Side of Chicago to file a police report.

Arriving at the police station, we saw a migrant encampment completely surrounding the police station's block.  This is where I realized that having my wallet stolen is a "first world" problem.  These people have it much worse than I ever will. I couldn't avoid the children playing with the revolving door, as they didn't have much to play with.  Inside the station, people were encamped on one side of the "receiving area" while the other side had been cordoned off for police business.   

Chatting with the police officer while he was taking down my information, I found out that the area within the Loop has become a high crime area.  It is very different from the last time I was there, and even the PO has had his wallet stolen once.  So you can now see why I won't be visiting Chicago again for a while.

Today, it was time to go home.  With ALL of my ID taken by the pickpocket, I was worried about TSA airport security - and for good reason.  We checked out of our hotel room early, and got to the airport.  Although I had TSA Pre-Check privileges, for this trip, I lost them due to my missing ID.  I had to fill out a form to inform TSA that I was without ID, and then (after a minor back and forth between the TSA area and Delta's ticketing area) I had to wait again until a TSA officer was available to ask me several security questions to insure I was the person who would be flying home.  After a few minutes, this officer made a phone call, asked me some personal questions, and then I was cleared to pass through security screening - without Pre-Check privileges.  

Given a choice, I'd always go for Pre-Check (or Global Entry, if traveling internationally) to avoid the hassles of intense TSA screening.  Today, it was time to go home the way most people do.  I went through the full body scanner without my shoes, all of my bags were swabbed down for dangerous chemicals, and I had to have a full body pat down.  TSA had the grace to ask me whether I wanted a male or female to perform the pat down, and I said that it didn't matter. Once the pat down was done, I still had to wait for my bags to be processed, and after 30-45 minutes, I was ready to enter the secured area of the airport.

Once I entered the secured area, it was time to look for RQS.  And I couldn't find her.  Instead of being close to the TSA zone, she had located herself in an area where I couldn't see her.  So I proceeded to take the long walk to the gate, and wait for RQS - she'd have to pass by me to go home.  This made perfect sense, as she did find me with a little help from our cell phones.

Two hours after we boarded the plane, we landed at La Guardia airport.  And we were home before 7:15 pm.  Not bad!  But I still had to make it home.  Leaving at a little after 8:00 pm, I made perfect connections to get to Croton Harmon, and then found a cab waiting for a fare at the station.  After telling him my story, he offered to drive me home for free.  I'm glad that I didn't have to accept his generosity, as RQS had given me some money to have in my purse if needed.  But I am grateful that there are still some people in this world....

By the time you read this, I will have returned from my trip.

 

Cloud Gate.  It's one of the most visually impressive works of art in Chicago.  But, with the expected weather, I doubt we'll have the chance to visit "The Electric Kidney Bean" (as some have called it.)  

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Last night, the 4 of us gals (3 Cis, and 1 TG) discussed our final plans for the trip.  And it looks like we'll be doing the hop on/off tour bus to make our way around the tourist sites in the city.  If I were traveling alone, I'd do things much differently from the way we're doing them on this trip, as I've been to the city before and would want to get to know it in greater detail, and not doing another "view from 30,000 feet."  

Chicago is one of those few cities that one needs more than a short weekend to fully enjoy what the city has to offer.  Too bad my friends will only have two days there.  Even RQS and I are staying for too short a time, as we leave the day after our friends.  I will have more to report when I get back....

Dinner with my former student voice clinician

 

Today's entry is going to be a quick one, as I have to leave for RQS's place in a little while.  But it involves dinner with someone who helped me become the woman I am (for better and worse).

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Several years ago, I started transgender voice training at Mercy College's (now, University's) speech and hearing clinic, where future clinicians are trained.  Compared to the rates charged by one NYC practitioner who has an office on Broadway, I was getting a bargain.  But the help I could get there was limited, as the students rotated in and out of in-school clinical practice every semester.  As a result, the quality of service varied quite a bit, and that there would be a limit to the amount of help I could receive at Mercy.

LK and I have developed a friendship over the years. She is the only student clinician that I encountered who was "fully adult" (she was approaching 40) when I met her.  Last year, she had a baby, and his health complications got in the way of us meeting for a while.  So, getting together with her was a special event.  I was surprised to find that she is pregnant again, and experiencing all of the classic symptoms of pregnancy that she was lucky to have missed the first time around. I won't go into the details of what we chatted about, save that we caught up on each other's lives and hope to get together much more often, now that they have a handle on her son's issues.

All too soon, it was time to leave, and we had to go.  LK went home, while I went to Walmart to pick up a couple of last minute items that I needed for my trip.

If I were a normal sized gal, I'd have an easier time packing.

 

My doctor has been telling me for years that I must lose some weight.  This has been one of the hardest things to do, given that I no longer burn off as much fat as I once did with my everyday activities.  An unfortunate byproduct of this is that my clothes take up more space in a carry-on than they should - especially in Marian mode.

Over the past few days, I have been trying to squeeze a week's worth of clothes into a single carry on bag, with any overflow going into a small backpack.  It was a little easier for me when I had a bag from Mystic Seaport which could be expanded at will.  (It was a great personal item to take on a plane.)  But I think that it migrated to RQS's place - and that I don't have it when I need it.  AARGH!

Sooner or later, I'll have to learn how to minimize what I pack.  But my makeup and toiletry kits take up a lot of precious space - something I wouldn't need if I traveled as Mario.  At least, I'll be traveling as Marian on this trip, and not needing to present as Mario for at least 7+ days.  I can finally get my nails done!!!  

Hopefully, I'll be able to drop a few pounds before next summer's trip....