Seeing "Short Vicki" for dinner.

Most of my readers may know that I have two women friends named Vicki.  Vicki #1 ("Tall Vicki") is a woman I've known for almost 30 years, someone who has gone through her share of "Sturm und Drang" and come out OK.  Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki") is a woman I met while I was unattached, and we developed a good friendship over the years.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get both Vickies to meet each other, as I think they will enjoying knowing others with some similar interests.

But I digress....

Vicki #2 suggested that we get together over the weekend.  However, her plans changed, and RQS and I were able to meet her for dinner in Yonkers, after a brief stop at the book store to pick up some magazines that RQS is interested in.

It was nice to finally get RQS and Vicki together, as the only time they have met was when her husband passed away. (And, that's not what I call a real meeting.)  The three of us sat down for dinner and chatted for about an hour and a half before leaving.  Hopefully, next time Vicki and her wife will be able to join RQS and I for a dinner foursome.

Later on....

One of the people from game night has been trying to sell an inherited apartment which has both deed restrictions and other complications that make the owning/selling the apartment a dubious proposition. (I would have had similar problems had my father not seen a lawyer many years ago and not put the family homestead in my brother's name and my name at that time.)  We chatted via online messages, and I expect that our voice chat will be interesting.

As you can see, life can be interesting - even when nothing much is going on.

Seeing LK for lunch and encountering bad traffic

 

Getting together with LK is not the easiest thing to schedule.  With young children, her responsibilities as a mother come before everything else in life.  That means that if anything goes wrong with her or her children, we must reschedule things.  Our most recent meal was one of those rescheduled events.

LK was feeling under the weather on Wednesday, and said that she'd like to try for a Friday lunch if she was feeling better.  Around 7:00 am, she texted me to suggest lunch at a restaurant in New City, NY for 11:30 am/  Since it was already 10:00 am. I suggested a 12:30 pm time and that was OK with her.  So I rushed to shower, dress, and do my make up to meet her on the other side of the river.  Since this was the first time I'd get to meet her 2 children, I knew it would be a special meeting, albeit disrupted by the needs of her children.

I ran a little late, while LK was 15 minutes late.  So I knew that I'd have less time than usual to chat, as I had to pick up RQS at Croton-Harmon at 3:30 pm.  We chatted less than usual, as her son was grabbing all of her attention.  But that was OK.  I'm comfortable with having friends in all stages of life. LK was born to be a mom, and I was glad to see her in her in all of her maternal glory.  (I won't use that phrase around her, as she was feeling challenged by motherhood that day.)  Around  2:30 pm, I was on my way back to Croton, and mistakenly decided to cross the river at Bear Mountain.  This was a big mistake, as the road to Peekskill was backed up halfway to the bridge.  Eventually, I made it through the gauntlet, and made it to Croton-Harmon station in time to pick up RQS.

Pizza - An answer to what do we eat tonight? (a short post)

 '

How many of us have had this conversation:

"What's for dinner?"

"I don't know."

 

Well, this was the dilemma posed to RQS and I the other day.  Since I was not in the mood to cook, I was leaning toward pizza.  But where?  The only thing RQS remembered about the place we both liked was that the platter holding the cooked pizza was supported by a stand, so that there was more room on the table for dinner plates.  

Not being ready to eat around 6:00 pm, I decided to take a scenic drive around Northern Westchester county while thinking of inexpensive places to eat.  So we got in the car, and RQS decided to look for pizzerias which we've gone to and where she enjoyed the pizza.  And she found the one that I suggested we go to in the first place.  Now that we knew the place where RQS wanted to go, we decided to head there in the most direct way possible via side roads.

Once at the pizzeria, we knew it was the right place - and we feasted.  It was a nice way to kill some time and figure out what's for dinner.

I didn't do much today, save for grocery shopping and laundry.

 

I wasn't able to get to sleep last night.  So, all my plans for the day were fouled up before noon.  Originally, I was supposed to go out for an exercise walk while it was cool outside, contact an electrolysis operator for a consultation, contact my sleep doctor's office to find out when I should expect a call from the people setting up my sleep test, call the lab to set up the brain scan for a study I'll be participating in, and then get around to both laundry and food shopping.  It's not as much to do as it sounds.  But when one has no energy until mid afternoon, one can only do so much during daytime hours.

The first thing I took care of was to make the brain scan appointment.  It's a larger study than I might think, as it is being coordinated from a site in California.  Next, I tried to contact an electrolysis operator for a consultation, but both of the local operators were on vacation.  Finally, after getting showered, dressed and made up, I was out the door and off to Trader Joe's.  $35 later, I was returning home in time to get a load of laundry in before the soft deadline of 9:00 pm (start) / 10:00 pm (finish).  So, I carted my laundry downstairs, and got it done in time for RQS's arrival tomorrow.

- - - - - -

While I write this, I have MSNBC on in the background.  Earlier, I had our former president's news conference on for a while.  As much as MSNBC panders to an educated elite, the ex president panders to an uninformed audience, an audience who lets authority figures feed them misinformation to be ingested without critical analysis.  Sadly, a significant part of our population believes his nonsense, as he is the leader of a political cult.  I can tolerate the left's talking heads, as they aren't feeding their audience the message that "White America is being overrun by illegal aliens that have come to take our jobs."  But I have to turn off Fox News' propaganda, as they have targeted people who are afraid of any cultural and economic changes that put "White Privilege" at risk.

After sitting down to write this entry, I opened up a letter from one of my credit card banks.  Seems like $3,700+ was credited to my card in error.  Next time I'm out as Mario, I'll visit the bank to see what's up.  If this was a debit, I'd take off my nail polish and visit the branch before picking up RQS at the train station.   Hopefully, I can get this error fixed AND have the service charge removed.

Chatting with an Ex-Girlfriend, followed by Drag Queen Bingo

 

Why does the image at the top of this entry focus on health issues?  The answer is related to the first part of my day, when I had the chance to speak with my ex-girlfriend from 25 years ago.  She has been dealing with health issues which the doctors have been unable to diagnose, and I'm glad that I was able to catch up with her.

- - - - - -

The day started with me feeling lethargic, and unwilling to go out for an exercise walk as planned.  Given that I had walked 3 miles the day before, I figured that I could catch up on my walking tomorrow.  By the time I decided to have something to eat, it was already afternoon.  So I made a Tuna Melt sandwich and got back to chilling out in the apartment.

Around 4:30 pm, my Ex called, and we chatted for a while.  She told me of her hospital visits, her tests, and her doctors' unwillingness and inability to do much for her, save to prescribe some medications to help reduce some of the pain she was experiencing.  Although I won't go into all of her symptoms, I will say that the pain in her knees that she experienced when standing up made her dread each time she had to transfer herself from her bed to the bathroom to relieve herself.  If her medical problems weren't enough to ruin her summer, the health of her family and friends also was a factor in making this her summer from hell.  In addition to scuttling plans to vacation with a couple of friends due to that friend's health, my friend is currently unable to visit her ailing sister in her hospital.  And with all of this going on, she had to scuttle plans for a "bucket list" vacation.  (Hopefully, she'll be able to reschedule this vacation when she's feeling better.)

- - - - - -

By the time I got off the phone, I was starting to run late for the second thing scheduled for the day - Drag Queen Bingo.  (The first would have been lunch/dinner with LK, but she wasn't feeling well.  We've tentatively rescheduled a lunch for Friday.  We'll see what happens on Friday.)  So, I got shaved, showered, dressed, and made up, and was out the door by 7:00 pm.  Bingo was fine, although the place was almost empty.  For a change, I won something cheap - a gilded "Dust Collector" figurine shaped like a left hand with fingers crossed.

- - - - - -

This wasn't much of a day to talk about.  At least it wasn't a total "nothing burger."

Fogo de Chão with RQS - NYC Restaurant Week

 

Fogo de Chão is a chain of Churrascaria restaurants which specialize in what I describe as Brazilian BBQ.  No, my description does not do this kind of restaurant justice.  It is the place for Atkins Diet feast!  Grilled meats keep on coming until you have to say "Uncle!  Food Won!"  And for NYC Restaurant week, I decided to take RQS to their Midtown Manhattan outpost to feast like there was no tomorrow.

One of the problems of taking the train into Grand Central is that it is awkward to make an easy transfer (in midtown) to a "B Division" subway line to access one of the former IND system routes' subway stations.  I could make it to  Grand Central Terminal easily.  But to get to a station associated with the 6th or 8th Avenue lines, I either have to make an awkward transfer involving a block's walk underground, an out-of-system transfer involving a 2 block walk underground, or simply take surface transit to the desired location.  Given that I had time to kill and mistakenly forgot one transfer point, I ended up walking from 42nd Street and Park Avenue to 53rd Street and 5th Avenue (give or take a few hundred feet).

My timing ended up being perfect - Both RQS and I arrived at the restaurant at 6:00 pm.  And from there, we went inside to feast.  RQS had forgotten that I had planned to get a Mani-Pedi earlier in the day, so she was a little surprised to see me arrive in Marian mode.  Yet, the dress I was wearing had grown on her a little.  (She said that if I buy more dresses like this, that I will have to try them on before committing to them.)  After getting enough salad and veggies to empty a farm (I have to mention how good their Caesar Salad is here - I could have feasted on that alone), the meat began to come. And boy did it come!  Chicken, Lamb, Sausages, various cuts of Beef all came around to our table, and within an hour and a half we were stuffed like Thanksgiving Turkeys.

All too soon, it was time to leave.  I went back to Grand Central the long way, and she was able to take one train home.  By 9:30 pm, both of us were at our homes and ready to go to bed.  Both of us enjoyed this mid week get together.  I think we'll do it more often if I can find a few excuses to do so.

RQS has gone home. (But I'll see her tomorrow.)

This past Friday, RQS came up to spend the weekend.  Because I had purchased tickets to Lawrence of Arabia for a Sunday evening showing, she stayed over until Monday morning.  It was unusual for her to leave so early in the day.  But she had to get her hair done before meeting me tomorrow.

Once RQS was safely on the train, I took care of some business for the co-op at the bank, then went home to chill a little before meeting with my sleep doctor.  Soon, I'll have an appointment to take a sleep test (hopefully, at a lab and not at home) as a precursor to getting a new CPAP machine.  And then, I went home to rest some more before having the first interview for a study I've volunteered to participate in. Around 6:45 pm, I had my interview for the study, and all went well.  So I know what I'll be doing for the next 3 months or so.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, it'll be my turn to meet RQS in Manhattan for a nice dinner.  Thankfully, the weather will be nice enough for me to dress relatively nice, so we won't look like Mutt and Jeff.  Since RQS will have her hair nicely done, I'd like to get a nice picture of the two of us together....

I've just enrolled in a scientific study

 

I won't go into details, but I've enrolled in a scientific study on brain performance that will last the better part of 3 months.  It will involve MRI Scans at the beginning and at the end of the study, zoom interviews, and use of some software for 15 min/day for 12 weeks.  This will be the first time I will be participating in any kind of study, and I think I should have fun doing so.

Why do I note this?

As I get older, I want to contribute a little to the world.  Doing anything related to politics is a non-starter, as I have way too many skeletons in my closet that, if exposed, would cause me a lot of grief.  The idea of leaving money to a scholarship fund still has value to me, but the logistics of setting it up may make this idea a non-starter.  Volunteering has lost its luster for me, given how little I enjoy many of the grunt tasks I once did.  So, when RQS told me about this study, I figured that I'd apply and see if I would be accepted.  And I was.   (More on this study later....)

- - - - - -

What I'd love to see is a scientific study on the types of people who hold rigid social/political/religious beliefs.  Is there something that can be gained by knowing how people function better than they know themselves?  Would this information be abused?  We already know how well political pollsters can gauge how the masses will react to certain messaging.  We already know how people react to selected advertising campaigns.  But at what level should this information stop being collected and analyzed?  Could we figure out why people join cults, and how to break their ties to their cults?  Could this be used in politics?  What about marketing?  Just because I'd like to see research in this area, I'm not sure if it wouldn't be misused.

We have extreme political polarization right now.  I'd like to be able to use scientific methods to end that polarization, as well as prevent it from happening again.  Sadly, populist leaders have an innate sense of how to manipulate people, and society at large doesn't have the tools to prevent populism from becoming a cult.  Life isn't simple as I'd like it to be....

I could ramble on  for a long while and say nothing of note.  So I'll end this entry here for today.

Lawrence! (A Quick Post)

 

I always find it amazing that the younger generation knows so little about the past.  Even worse, I find it appalling that it knows so little about the world as a whole.  And yet, there's a certain logic about this, from a quote (that I'll paraphrase) from the movie, Lawrence of Arabia. 

"It is up to the young people to fight the wars.

 It is up to the old people to make the peace."

Hidden the above are the attestations of valor and courage to the young, while the older generation is associated with the treachery that causes was in the first place.  In short, as I see it, younger people fight, while older people try to settle disputes.  Lawrence the man was one of those singular young people who was in a place to influence how the world would look 100 years later, and he did just that.

- - - - - -

What can I say about this movie that reviewers haven't said for the past 62 years?  Since RQS has never seen this movie, I bought tickets for us a few nights before.  I knew that she'd enjoy the movie, and that it would make an extra night up here well worth it.

Arriving at the theater, the two young ticket takers commented that the movie was 4 hours long.  They asked me what the movie was about, and I mentioned the birth of Saudi Arabia as an independent nation and the Arab world as it is today.  (I was amazed that they didn't know about this being a classic film, working in a movie theater.  But then, youth don't learn much about their recent past and it's culture.) We then took our seats, and sat down to watch the film.  While the film played, RQS asked me several questions about the film, as she wasn't aware that this story was based on real historical events.

Later on, when we got home, it was too late to do anything but go to bed.  It was a nice evening, and a good chance to watch a film on the big screen that should only be seen on the big screen.

 

A visit to the museum

 

Today, RQS and I had an errand to run before the day's end - she needed to go to a jewelry store to have a link added to her watch band.  So I had an idea:  If we got out of the house early enough, we could go to the Magazzino Italian Art Museum in Cold Spring, NY.  

When I first saw this museum on the side of the road, I thought it was a warehouse for the sale of Italian art.  Well, I was partially right.  From what I was told, the Italian word "Magazzino" translates to the English word "Warehouse".  So I can say that I was half right.  Once I found out that this was a museum, I figured that I'd visit it when I had an opportunity.  Today was that opportunity.

Both RQS and I got dressed and out of the house by 2:45 pm.  By 3:30 pm, we were at the museum.  And this is where we got exposed to Contemporary Italian Art.  Much of it was not my taste.  But some of it captured both RQS's and my interests.  (You might see my reflection in one of the artworks above.) If you get the chance to visit this place, do so!  Not only is the art interesting.  But the grounds are beautiful too.  Both of us took lots of photos inside and outside the museum, and we might just go back in the fall to enjoy the grounds and some upcoming exhibits.

Once done with the museum, we drove into Cold Spring proper and had some ice cream before driving home.  After dinner, we went out again for a walk.  I had changed into my black exercise dress, and got compliments from both RQS and one of my neighbors.  (That was a nice way to end this day!)

It's amazing how much of a mess was near my desk - a quick post.

 

If I'm guilty of vices other than gluttony, I'd say that my next one might be sloth.  Laziness is a hidden trait that can be attributed to me, as I don't like to work.  This doesn't mean that I won't work hard.  I just avoid hard work whenever I can.

Over the past few months, I have allowed messes to accumulate in the corners of my apartment, and I decided to attack one for a few hours (with a lot of breaks).  It's amazing what one can accomplish when one breaks work down into manageable chunks.  (I guess that my experience of being a project manager helps me in this regard.)

Sooner or later, I will get everything organized in my apartment.  Until then, expect me to talk about my mess now and then.

- - - - - -

This weekend, the weather is supposed to be bad.  So, when I go out as Marian, I'll be wearing a dress over leggings, mimicking the kind of garments a cisgender woman would be wearing in inclement weather.  I've found that the leggings I've bought from Universal Standard are of a much higher quality than what I have bought from Woman Within.  So, I'll try to up my garment game in the future by buying garments from brands I know have the quality level I want.

Why do I mention garment quality?   Simple.  I'm finding that well made athleisure garments tend to be more forgiving of odd shaped people when they are worn.  Not once did I have to pull up Universal's leggings during a day of wearing (except when taking bio-breaks, of course).  I can't say this about the leggings I have bought from WW or Walmart.

There will always be some garments I'll buy at cheaper outlets.  But now that I have developed a sense of my own feminine style, I can afford to buy clothes that I expect will last, instead of clothes I know will end up in a donation bag after a few wearings.

If it weren't for game night, I wouldn't have even bothered getting dressed today.

 

The rainy weather has made me a bit lethargic, and I had a hard time getting moving today.  There were two things on my docket that required me to get dressed, one being laundry, and the other being game night.  So, I figured that I could take care of a couple of things while doing laundry and caused a minor issue for myself.

RQS was originally scheduled to go home on Sunday.  Fathom Events scheduled a 2-night revival of Lawrence of Arabia for Sunday and Monday at selected theaters.  I bought tickets for Sunday evening. But that creates a conflict between the time RQS expected to be home and the time she'd be in the theater.  So I asked her if she could stay another night.

The other task that I took care of was removing the nail polish from my fingernails.  I figure that I'll need to present as a male when I meet with the sleep doctor on Monday, as well as an appointment I have later in the evening for a research study.  Given that I want to look my best when I meet RQS in the city for dinner on Tuesday evening, I'll likely schedule a Mani-Pedi for the morning.

Luckily, I had only one load of laundry to take care of.  The one problem is that I usually do my sheets along with the rest of my colored laundry.  This means that I'll have to inspect the fitted sheet to make sure that nothing got caught in it while in the dryer.  That I can do in the morning when I fold the laundry in advance of RQS's arrival.

Around 4:30 pm, I showered, and went downstairs to do laundry as Mario.  This was the more convenient way to be out of the apartment when my face had yet to be made up.  But when almost ready to go out for the evening, I had switched into Marian mode. Though I started doing the Laundry at 5:00 pm, I wasn't able to get out of the apartment until 7:10 pm. This meant that I'd be in Yonkers after the first game had started.  Even so, I drove down, and found that only an abbreviated portion of the group was in attendance.  I got into a couple of games, and left before the hostess returned with her dog.  (Just as well - he is ready to bite anyone who isn't family.)  On the way home, I chatted with RQS, and picked up some stuff for dinner to be eaten tomorrow or Saturday.

I was glad to finally be back at home by midnight, as I couldn't wait to strip and get comfortable again.

 

 

Rain, Rain, Go Away.... (a short post)

 

Unlike the other day, I decided not bothering getting dressed and going out in the rain when I had no real plans for the day.  If it had been dry, I might have put on my exercise dress, applied some blush and lipstick, then gone outside for a 20 minute walk.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.

- - - - - -

This week, it looks like we'll have a total of 7 consecutive rainy days before we see the sun again.  Luckily, RQS will be here for one of these days before she goes home again.  And after one day, I'll be taking the train into NYC, so that we can enjoy a fancy dinner during NYC's Restaurant Week.  

I'll admit that I find it easier to have RQS come to see me, than it is for me to see her.  Yet, because we can get into my car, we have more options regarding what we can do when the weather is bad.  If we are in Queens, we must wait at the bus stop for (up to) 20 minutes before a bus comes, or walk 1/4 mile to the closest subway station, climb up 4-5 flights of steps, and wait outside for (up to) 15 minutes before the train arrives.  Contrast this with a 200 foot walk to my car, and we have many more comfortable options up here.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow is Game Night, and I'm hoping for better weather.  Specifically, I'm hoping that we only have a drizzle in the evening, as I don't want to bother with an umbrella.  But if I need to bring one, I will....

Co-Op business and a trip to the store

 

I didn't want to start moving to go outside.  The weather forecast was terrible, and I didn't feel like getting dressed.  However, I had an exercise dress waiting at Macy's for me to pick up, and I didn't want to waste any time.

- - - - - -

Around 2:00 pm, I received an email from my co-op's president, telling the board about some issues people were having with our managing agent. (No, I won't go into any details here for privacy concerns.)  But this triggered my need to check in with her, resulting in a set of questions we need answered by our site representative, and a task for this person to take care of.

Next, I called my doctor's receptionist, and she established an account for me on their system.  Although I am connected, I can not yet send messages to the doctor via this portal.  Luckily, I'll be speaking with the receptionist again this week, as I have to schedule another appointment with the doctor (as well as scheduling a liver scan at Northwell's local office).

Now, I was ready to prepare to go to the store.  But I lallygagged a little, and it wasn't until 6:00 pm that I decided to go into the shower.  By the time I was ready to go out, it was raining.  But I didn't know hard it was raining until I got to the front door.  In for a penny, in for a pound - and I was out the door in the pouring rain.  Things got even worse, as my car's accident prevention system couldn't see through the pouring rain.  If I made it to Macy's by 8:00 pm, I'd pick up my dress.  If not, at least I was driving slow and safe.  

I arrived at Macy's around 7:40 pm, and the rain had eased off a little.  10 minutes later, I was out of the store, and the rain started up again.  So I drove home slowly and safely.  By the time I got home, the rain had eased off again, so I wasn't soaking wet as I got in my door.  But this is a trip I should have  deferred until the morning, and will do so next time it's raining this hard.

- - - - - -

On other matters, I was originally scheduled to see DCD tonight for dinner.  Now that he's late in making his monthly car payment, he is avoiding me.  Since I know that his car is off the road due to his actions, it serves him right to try to make it home in this rain via public transit.  Karmic justice....

My Pooka was at it again!

 

I just spent $20 to replace a souvenir button that cost me $2.50.  And that wasn't a bad deal, except that I found the button two days after its replacement.

- - - - - -

A couple of weeks ago, RQS and I went to the Norman Rockwell Museum to see an exhibit for the Art of Mad Magazine.  Somehow, I had misplaced the sweater that had this souvenir button on it. After searching everywhere for it, I gave up hope of finding it and ordered a replacement.  Today, I found that sweater and button.

Misplacing items like this has always been a common occurrence for me.  I have learned to have two of everything important, as I never know when one of these things will go missing.  (I'm still looking for a pendant I bought while in Hawaii - it was one of my favorites!)  I even have duplicates of all of my portable electronic stuff (wires, adapters, etc.), as I tend to misplace or lose them while in transit.  (I lost a cell phone charger on a flight back from London this year, and just replaced it.)

If you were to see a picture of my desk, you'd understand why I misplace things so often.  A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind.  Boy, this is an understatement in my case!  But it does allow for the random mutations of ideas which allow me to have insights that most people aren't lucky enough to have.  (Could you imagine how much more boring I would have been if my brain hadn't been able to make its random connections?)  

- - - - - -

One of these days, I'll be able to straighten out the mess on my desk, in my bedroom, and throughout the apartment.  Until then, I expect to keep misplacing many more things and replacing them prematurely.

I knew that this would be a problem

 

No, that is not my old car.  It's been generations since America knew how to build cars with real style.  But it reminds me of how much of a relic I have become in my old age.

- - - - - -

Like old cars, old friendships have their costs of maintenance.  In the case of DCD, I owed him for helping me move furniture, so that my (then) new carpet could be installed.  So, I figured that I could pay him back by offering him my old car at a below market price.  And this is where the problem comes up.  DCD is not paying me the money he owes me in a timely manner.

My brother and I talked about DCD a while back, and he figured that DCD would skip out on his payments.  Although I also figured this would happen, I am not bothered too much - the old car is out of my parking spaces, and is now his responsibility.  The other day, DCD told me that he failed to get "permanent" plates put on the car because he couldn't get in for an emissions test on time.  Dollars to donuts that this is a BS excuse from him.  Instead, RQS and I both think it is because he doesn't have the money to register the car in his legal state of residence - Connecticut.  

DCD had major health problems a few years back, and maintains legal residency at his (ex) girlfriend's house.  Ideally, he should find out how to switch his legal residence to New York (where he is a de facto resident), while keeping his Obamacare/Medicaid coverage.  But he doesn't do this.  As a result, he is paying an extra tax on the value of the car so that he can legally register the car in Connecticut, not jeopardizing his official Connecticut residency. 

- - - - - -

Do I think I will ever get all of the money DCD owes me?  No.  He is not a responsible person.  He avoids awkward situations, as I did almost 30 years ago - before I was forced to grow up.  Right now, he doesn't have a pot to piss in, and in late middle-age, that's a very bad thing.  I'm grateful I don't have his life to live.

RQS had to go home today.

 

RQS was up here for a long weekend. It's always nice to have her here.  But it's also nice to see her go home, if only because we both need to recharge our batteries for the following weekend.  We long for each other and are energized when the weekend comes, and we are re-energized when we part.  I think it's because we both have gotten used to having our own nests, and are re-energized by being able to retreat into our own spaces to do the things we would have done on our own before meeting each other.  Simply put, love in one's senior years is more complicated than when we were young.

- - - - - 

Yesterday, the high point of our day was a trip to Stew Leonard's to buy food for the week.  Today, it was the 1-mile walk we took by the Hudson River before it got too hot to do anything outside. It was nice being able to wear my exercise dress again.  RQS noted that she saw another woman wearing her exercise dress.  So I guess I didn't look out of place, save for my height and size.  By the time we were done with this walk (shortly before 11:00 am), all energy was drained from us.  I was glad that we set a limit of 20 minutes to be exposed to the hot and humid weather outside.  After this walk, we went to a deli that I used to frequent daily when I worked for the census bureau.  Four years later, I am still remembered there. 

We spent the rest of the afternoon resting in my apartment.  Unfortunately, I had to wake her up so that she could make her train back to the city.  So, we both got dressed in lightweight dresses, and out the door we went.  After dropping her off, I drove to Poughkeepsie and stopped off at Walmart on the way back home to pick up some makeup remover towelettes and Pointed Tip Swabs. (Think of Q-Tips with a pointed head - perfect for cleaning the area where my ear piercings were done.)  Once home, I was done for the day - and almost ready to go to sleep again.

Sometimes, I don't have that much to say of interest.

 

As I sit here, the TV is playing in the background and I am not paying any attention to it.  It is making "familiar" noises, and that relaxes me.  Along with the presence of RQS on the sofa, I am doing well.  So I was having a big problem - what do I have to say today?

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Being transgender or bi-gendered doesn't have to be the biggest factor in one's life.  Whether I go out as Mario or Marian makes little difference to who I am inside my body.  However, it does affect how I interact with people.  For example, I have met a woman in the supermarket who brought up the topic of "change of life" with me - something which would be inconceivable had I been presenting as Mario at the time.  One of my closest friends (who knew me first as Mario) brought up the topic of her bladder control pads - something that I doubt that she'd mention to her husband.  She thinks of me more as a woman than as a biological male.  And even my niece brought up the subject of her monthly cycle when we were at a museum together a few years ago.Gender Communication Taboos,

But what is it that keeps women and men from talking about such intimate things?  I had a conversation with someone a year ago, and she said that most men wouldn't bother asking.  Although that's true, there is a deeper reason for this happening.  I think that women expect that the men in their lives should be more curious, while men are too embarrassed to ask about such things due to the social taboos we have in our society.  Yes, men may know about women having periods.  But do they know what a woman goes through?  Do women even think that men would listen if they opened up conversations like these?  I feel that many people feel that it is easier to avoid opening up "embarrassing conversations" rather than to communicate.  And this leads to ignorance, misconceptions and ill feelings.

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So, did I have something of interest to say today?  I don't know.  But I just had to maintain the discipline of having something to say each day....

An unplanned dinner with RQS and Vicki

 

Food - Our lives revolve around its consumption, simply because we need to eat now and then. Today, I texted Vicki, and the end result was a nice meal for the 3 of us (and ice cream afterwards).

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RQS and I didn't want to deal with the hot weather.  But we had to go out to pick up some items for the bathroom at Walmart.  So I got dressed in the dress I bought at Universal Standard on Thursday and the two of us headed over to Mohegan Lake. where the two of us planned to get a quick snack, then shop before going to meet Vicki at Lefteris Gyro.  

Of course things didn't work out the way we expected.  We were very hungry when we reached Mickey D's, and were surprised to find the place was closed - the place had lost all power, and couldn't serve any customers.  This meant we had to get our snack elsewhere, and that meant driving over to Taco Bell.  Driving there, I realized that we wouldn't be shopping at Walmart, as we wouldn't have enough time to be sure to meet Vicki at 6:00 pm.  Instead, we drove straight to Mt. Kisco, where we spent our time shopping at Target for the things we planned to get elsewhere.  By doing this, we made it to the restaurant at 6:00 pm, and were on time for dinner.

Upon entering the restaurant, I missed Vicki, as she was in a corner on the left and I was focusing on the right.  After that minor snafu, we settled down to enjoy a good dinner. One of the things I noted was that Vicki was dressed much more casually than in the past. Post-exercise wear for some has a look like wearing PJ's.  Yet, she should be proud of all the weight she has lost to be able to look good in this clothing.  As for me, I'll stick with my dresses, as they hide parts of my body that I want to de-emphasize. Although I knew I was going to come home with leftovers, I didn't know how much I'd be bringing home!  Conversation flowed naturally, as Vicki, RQS and I were all relaxed with each of us having something to share and to take home from the conversation.  (This isn't always the case, given the occasional imbalances we have to talk about certain subjects.) 

All too soon, it was time to brave the weather and make it down to Ben & Jerry's for dessert - Ice Cream.  Although there are a few B&J's ice cream shops scattered over the country, this is the only one I know that's close to the New York City area.  Even more surprising, this would be the first time I've stopped here in over 40 years of living here.  So I knew that I was in for a treat.  One glitch - when moving a table out to seat the three of us, my sundae fell on the floor and had to be replaced.

As we left the ice cream shop, the heavens started to open up,  Even though we were avoiding the heat and rain during the day, we were able to make a good day out of something that could have been crappy.  In the end, this was the big advantage of being outside of NYC this weekend.  

 

Another long, hot weekend was started early.

 

RQS and I discussed coming up early this weekend.  Although the "Lobster Truck" would be elsewhere, I was able to entice her to come up a day early with oysters - 12 Oysters for $12 at Whole Foods on Fridays between 2 and 5 pm.  So we made plans for her to meet me at Grand Central Terminal after I went to Universal Standard's Sample Sale.

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I got dressed in a comfortable dress on Thursday,  then left my house around noon, proceeding to Manhattan on the 12:42 pm train.  When the train got into Grand Central around 1:45 pm, we got delayed because the train couldn't make it al the way into the station, and had to discharge passengers through the first two cars of the train.  I was totally exhausted by the time I made it to Universal Standard.  (The heat both under and above ground was gruesome, and I was a little dehydrated by this point.)  So, after stopping for some air conditioned comfort, I went upstairs to do some shopping.

Once I was upstairs, I was greeted by a staffer who has seen me at several of the sample sales.  Then, I proceeded to browse the racks to find things I might be interested in.  As much as most of the stuff wasn't worth my interest, I found two items of worth: A blue sleeveless dress (that I wasn't sure that I should buy) and a pair of leggings that I could always wear when the weather gets cooler.  $75 later, I was out of there with garments that would normally sell for over $175 ($40 for the dress and $35 for the leggings)

Leaving the store, I decided to take the East Side local to Brooklyn Bridge, then back uptown to Grand Central.  This way, I could be assured to have a seat in an air conditioned car on its way uptown.  (The last thing I want to do is stand on a subway car being delayed due to problems ahead of us.)  While on my way, I found that RQS was 45 minutes behind me, so I knew I'd have to wait for her at Grand Central.

Around 3:30 pm, I arrived at Grand Central and waited for RQS to arrive, then we took the train back to Croton.  Since there was nothing ready for us to cook, we picked up some food at Trader Joe's and had dinner a little later.

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Friday came, and the focus of the day was to have oysters at Whole Foods.  So, I donned the blue dress I bought the day before, and we drove to Chappaqua.  RQS thought we were going to White Plains, and I wanted to see what it was like on the former Reader's Digest campus.  We got there at 2:30 pm, and the supply of oysters was already starting to run out.  $24 later, we were eating oysters normally selling for twice the price - and they were yummy!  If scheduling works out, we may make this a semi-regular part of our routine.

Once done with our meal, it was off to the jewelers to have a few links taken out of her watch band.  And then, we drove to Cold Spring for Ice Cream before returning home for the night.