Cruise prices don't always make sense.

 

Just for fun, I decided to price out a repositioning cruise on NCL to start in a month from the time this entry is made public. Although I have no interest in taking this particular cruise, it illustrates the irrationality of some prices available to the potential cruiser.

You'll note that all prices are for solo cruisers.  I have sailed (or will have sailed) in every category save for the Studio, the Spa, and the Haven.  If pricing for this cruise was completely rational, the Studio cabin wouldn't be priced as high as it is.  From what I can tell, it is a smaller version of an inside cabin with access to a "Studio Only" travel area.  (Singles can mix here.)  So, why is it priced more than the Inside cabin, the Oceanview cabin, and a Balcony cabin.  It costs almost as much as the Club Balcony Suite.  If I were taking this particular cruise, I'd spend the extra $124 and get almost 3 times the room to spread out AND have a balcony of my own.

Once one decides to go above the Club Balcony Suite level, prices start going into the stratosphere.  I can only imagine how much money I'd want in my bank account before I'd even consider a room in the Haven.  (When a suite there has more room than my apartment, the Haven is geared to people who have lots of money to burn.)  I've met people who have cruised in both the Spa and the Haven suites, and they loved them. For me, I'll wait for the excuse to take a very special trip and then drop the coin to make it special for me and a potential partner.

With certain exceptions, you usually get what you pay for.  Sometimes you get more.  And sometimes, you get less.   Before the pandemic struck, I found a Repositioning / Panama Canal cruise that I could have taken for $1000 - 21 days, New York to Seattle. Unfortunately, that cruise had to be cancelled on account of the pandemic. Later in the year, there was a 11 day Hawaii Cruise Tour (effectively 10 days of activities) that I could have taken for half the price the same package sells for today.  This, too, was cancelled because of the pandemic.  An ex girlfriend of many years ago was very sad about this, as she was looking to take this cruise with 3 of her girlfriends.  (I could only imagine what would have happened if we bumped into each other on the cruise.)

- - - - - -

I have been tracking the price of another cruise I've been interested in as it gets closer to sail date.  If I'm right, the price will drop another $50/stateroom class one or two more times before the ship sails.  However, I wouldn't want to risk losing this deal at this point - so I'll be buying my tickets soon....

 

 

I may have found a unicorn.

 

The above is the itinerary for a cruise out of New York scheduled for the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  If I felt comfortable taking this cruise, I'd jump on it.  It is one of two cruises I've found lately that offer an excellent price/value combination - unicorns, as they are known by many.  However, I did not feel comfortable taking this cruise at this time, as several of these ports are on the CDC's list of Covid-19 high risk destinations.

With the exception of the Dominican Republic, almost all the islands are at a level 4 warning.  This means that the CDC is advising people NOT to travel to these places.  Of course, the CDC is reasonably honest here, as they place the USA in a level 4 category.  It is safer to travel to Canada (a level 3 country) than to travel to Puerto Rico.  So does taking this trip make sense?

 

Although this is the first cruise that I've found that has no single supplement, is it a unicorn? Right now, I'd feel comfortable getting off the ship in only three of the ports as Marian. But I don't think I'd feel safe from Covid-19 until I get my booster shot.  So I don't think this is the best unicorn to chase.

 

 

Friendship.

 

Friend, n: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection

Levels of friendship:

1. A friend will help you. 
2. A good friend will help you move.
3. A very good friend will help you move and dispose of a body.

Hopefully, none of my readers will have friends at the third level, unless they work in a hospital or mortuary.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I can easily say that I've had a handful of friends in the second category.  And I'm pretty sure that at least one of them might have upgraded themselves to the third category if the need arose. (This potentially gives a whole new meaning to having a "Skeleton in the closet." 😁 )  But as we get older, it gets harder to find a level 1 friend, much less a level 2 friend.  I think this truth is behind the growth of meetup.com - most of us crave human connections, and we will do almost anything to get them.

Sometimes, people will battle over friendships.  Other times, people collect friendships the way others collect stamps.  I've seen people do unethical things when friendships go sour.  But I won't dwell on that now.  Instead, I'll focus on the power of friendships.

One thing I learned by being widowed, was that the one person I could lean on to cope with a situation was no longer there to help me in my time of need.  Good friendships can end with that same problem. Some people are lucky enough to have more than one good friend to lean on in times like these.  And yet, when I look at MWL, she still is affected by the loss of some of her friends in her age group.  (No, I'm not going into any details about her here.  I'm just making a quick comment on how the loss of friends can affect a person.) 

For many of us, we lean on our friends as much as we lean on our families.  They help us out in times of need.  They listen to us when we need to process our feelings.  And they provide targets for us to show our compassion for others.  In the case of many of us transgender folk, we often bond with other transgender folk, as we are the only people who understand what we are going through.  I consider myself lucky to have been able to keep most of my friendships so far, as well as keeping on good terms with my relatives.  This may have been the biggest miracle of all....

Need for new word in language

 

 

The other day, I was in contact with someone who said that I always seemed to have all the answers.  Yet, due to disputes I've had with people (and others with me), I realize that we need a new word in the English language.,

- - - - - -

Years ago, I used to be a frequent viewer of the "Jerry Springer" show, and others like it.  All of the shows started to seem the same over time. People would get into arguments.  Some people had cause to be upset, and others had cause to be on the defense.  When people were called on to justify their positions, they could not communicate a good reason for their position.  They were giving up the fight, but not ceding the point that the other person had some justification for his/her actions.  Often, it was a woman who said "Whatever!" in a voice indicative of an animal skulking away with its tail between its legs. 

As an adult, I find that so many people are not able to articulate their positions well.  And they tend to get run over by people with better communication skills.  Yet, most people would never use the phrase "whatever" to express the same feeling expressed by Springer show guests.  Do you have any words that would sound respectable in "middle class" speech that express this type of defeat?  Please let me know if you know of any....

 

Abuses of a law.

 

A while back, my co-op fought a losing battle with HUD regarding Emotional Support Animals (ESAs).  The way the law was being enforced, small "No-Pet" apartment complexes were victimized by people claiming their pets were support animals.  HUD even suggested that people allergic to dogs owning their apartments in co-op and condo complexes be moved to accommodate the needs of the person "needing" the support animal.  This is ludicrous, but it's the way the law functioned.  Since then, major airlines have banned many of these ESAs, as no one wanted to be near geese, miniature horses, etc. while on a plane.  But nothing has been done for co-ops and condos which do not allow pets for the health of ALL of their residents.

The following site mentions how to certify an emotional support dog: How to certify an Emotional Support Dog.  Although the site implies respectability for ESA certification, even they recognize that a mental health professional should be one providing an ESA letter. And here's where the fun starts.  How many people are going to do the research to prove that a mental health professional has had the person in therapy for a reasonable amount of time to justify writing the ESA letter.  When I dealt with HUD, the bureaucrat effectively admitted that there were few rules governing these letters.  Years later, I found that these letters were easily available online for a few minutes of on-line "consultation: and a fee of less that $100.

As much as I'd like to talk about current co-op affairs, I can not do so.  Yet, I can mention that HUD told us that we can't even require that the dog's owner identify the dog as a service animal because the "handicapped" person (my words, not that of law) could be discriminated against.  But what about the other people in an apartment complex?  Does this person's needs override others' property rights?  What about others' health needs?  Once people start seeing animals in the hallways, they will act as if pets are allowed.  And then, a No-Pet residential complex is opened up to pets via the back door.

- - - - - -

Years ago, I mentioned this situation to someone I know.  And she started making lots of noises in support of the animal owner.  (She fed raccoons on her porch.  Go figure.)  But shouldn't the rights of people who choose NOT to live with animals be respected?   Even in this group, most will support legitimate service animals for other residents.  One woman I dated is an epileptic who could die if she were to have an episode in her sleep.  Her service animal is able to sense an oncoming event early enough for her to wake up and take her medicines.  This is the type of animal I'm comfortable with in my complex, not the pet with another name....

 

I may have a new cruise partner

 

This will be a short entry.  Last night, as I was booking my next cruise, a friend of mine was impressed that I was going on a cruise this winter.  She expressed an interest in coming with me on a future cruise if it is on her bucket list of places to visit.

When I used to sail with my former cruise partner (FCP), I'd often read my books (or watch TV) in the evening while she did other things.  Often, we'd see each other for dinner, then go our separate ways  And that was fine with me, as I needed to unwind more than I needed companionship.  Now that we are no longer on speaking terms with each other, I realized that sooner or later I might want to find a new cruise partner. And this one sorta fell into my lap.

Although this new woman is a former love interest, we'd travel only as friends and nothing more.  There is no drama in her life, nor is there a need for her to be the center of attention when with people.  Instead, she's very low key and doesn't have that many issues to deal with.  This is perfect for someone that one travels with, as there will be many unexpected hitches during a trip that could cause rifts between two friends.

I am lucky to have this woman as a friend.  It's too bad that things didn't work out romantically for us.

PS: I wonder why the former cruise partner still reads this blog, if I'm no longer a friend....

Sometimes, I have nothing to say.

 

Recently, someone commented that all I wanted to do was write about the lives of others in this blog?  Do you believe this to be true?

Lately, when I'm stumped for things to write about, I look at the television and can always find something I care about.  And today is no exception.  But this doesn't always give me a topic to write about.  So I dig into the dumpster of life and talk about people from my past.   Again, today is no exception....

- - - - - -

Years ago, I was turned on to shooting sports by a friend who helped me get my first firearm.  Although I haven't used it in years, I still have respect for a right wing argument that leaves guns in private hands.  I see that private ownership of firearms can force a government to respect a ballot box.  But what happens when one side unilaterally disarms?  Can they protect their rights in a pinch?  To me, the answer is no.  If our cultural war becomes a hot war, what will happen if people on the right go nuts?  Will anyone from areas populated by "the left" be able to protect the community?  I doubt it.

So I'm making an argument that the American left should give up its anti gun rhetoric, and change it to gun regulation based on population density.  People in high population density areas (such as the NYC Tristate region) may have to live with more onerous gun regulations than people in South Dakota.  Risk of gun crime may need to be accepted as a price that must be paid to preserve the freedoms that the left has brought us over the years.  One way of mitigating this risk may be the development of "regulated" (practiced/trained) militias under the guidance of the state.  Many people demanding gun rights are only saying "Look at me.  I'm important!"  in a childish way.  With training, I expect that more people will respect what a firearm can and can't do.

What do you think on this topic?  Can we maintain peace by arming the public on both sides of a cultural war?  (I like "Mexican Standoffs."  But many people fear them.)

In and out within 60 minutes.

 

DENTIST

-n.

A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

- - - - - -

The above definition comes from Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary."  Unlike most people, I am comfortable investing in my teeth.  My mouth may be the one area of my body that is in very good shape.  But then, I pay enough for the privilege of having good teeth. 

Two months ago, I made an appointment to have a failing filling replaced.  Lately, I've been going to the dentist as Marian, and have never had any problems with it.  Today, I was so comfortable, that after the filling was replaced, that I slipped out of Marian's voice and used Mario's voice.  Luckily, I feel comfortable with this dentist in both modes, and will go to my appointments in the way I'm dressed for the day.

Since I knew that it would run me $500 to get the work done on my tooth, I figured that I'd use a new credit card and qualify for a rebate.  Now that I've broken the $500 floor of charges made in 3 months, I should get a $200 credit sent to me sometime in the future.  Although I took a 2 point to my credit score, I don't expect that this will affect me that much.

Right now, I'm expecting a temporary cash flow shortfall.  No, I can pay all of my debts with money from any one of my bank accounts with some to spare.  Instead, I've simply needed to use plastic to take advantage of some very good deals which will benefit me in the long term.

 

I was supposed to go out to dinner but....

I was supposed to go out for dinner today.  Sadly, my friend called to tell me that her dog was very sick, and that she was bringing it to a 24x7 animal hospital.  So our dinner date was cancelled.  Even sadder, the dog had to be put to sleep. If I could have known this was going to happen around 10 am, I'd have gotten showered and dressed, then go into NYC to visit MoMA.  I guess that I'll be doing this next weekend.

Years ago, I had to put a cat to sleep.  Although I wasn't attached to the cat, this was the right thing to do.  It's even harder to put an animal down when one is attached to that animal.  This is one of the reasons why I might never own an animal again.  I don't want the responsibility of looking out for the best interest of an animal again.

Instead of going out for dinner, I ended up chatting with TCL, then going to Stew Leonard's to pick up my lunches for the week.  If I had a feminine face (without makeup on), I'd have dressed as Marian.  However, getting dressed as Mario made it possible for me to get out the door on time to have a leisurely walk through the store.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to do my laundry for the week, so I'll have to take care of that when I get home tomorrow.

What a bland and boring day....
 

 

I am disgusted at what America has become

 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about non-transgender issues.  A former friend triggered some thinking about favors and about interpersonal relationships.  My exhaustion at work has gotten me to think about my own mortality.  The daily news has gotten me to think about the nation America is becoming - and I have gotten disgusted.

The other day, TCL talked about a book club whose meeting she was going to attend.  TCL is much more concerned about the Covid-19 virus than many people, and she would prefer to do things outside with people as long as the weather permits.  The book club leader scheduled an indoor meeting at which she planned to go maskless.  This bothered TCL, so she suggested meeting outdoors, as it was going to be a nice day. When the book club met, all the people save one had been vaccinated. Although the one person didn't give her vaccination status, claiming it was a personal matter, we both think she wanted to hide the fact she didn't get her arm stuck.

It seems that most people in the most heavily vaccinated areas are proud to mention their vaccination status, and it has become an indicator of one's political stance.  Although many Republicans have had their arms stuck, there is a correlation between being unvaccinated and being both a registered Republican and Trump Supporter.  In the case of the book club leader, she comes from a highly Republican part of town.  Luckily, TCL was able to get the library to remind the book club leader that masks were required indoors, and that no exceptions would be made.

The above incident ended in an acceptable way.  No one got hurt, and everyone wore a mask.  But what happens when unvaccinated tourists attempt to go out to eat in a NYC restaurant?  Recently, 3 unvaccinated Texans attempted to do just that at Carmine's and started a fight with the hostess who only did her job - ask to inspect the potential patrons' proofs of vaccination.  The hostess was sent to the hospital, while the 3 Texans only got charged with misdemeanors.  If I were the proprietor of the restaurant, I'd have come out with a baseball bat and stopped the fight with extreme prejudice.  My justification would be simple - I have to protect both my staff and my patrons to the best of my ability. Mind you, I don't think my actions would pass muster with a lawyer.  But they might pass muster with a NYC jury.

We are now a country of two warring tribes.  One gives a damn about what happens to their neighbors, and will make sacrifices to keep them whole.  The other tribe is selfish, and doesn't care about what their actions and policies do to people who don't agree with them.  Luckily, Covid-19 is much more likely to kill an unvaccinated person than a vaccinated person.  Maybe, we'll have proof that Darwinian selection can help with issues like this, and we can again have a nation I can be proud of.

 

 

 

PS: I've heard of an alternate explanation for the incident at the restaurant which puts the Texans in a much different light.  The fight may not have been started by the three women at first, but when their husbands met them at the restaurant.  I'll post more on this incident when I have more information....

 

 

It felt much warmer than it was today

 

No, this was not the outfit I wore today.  It was a Mario day - and I couldn't visit either of my friends wearing an outfit like this.  Not only would it be inappropriate to meet a new friend this way, but the skirt doesn't go well with the top.

- - - - - -

The first thing on my docket was a date with a woman with whom I wanted to get together for a while.  Things seemed to go very well, and we will find out where it goes when I call her next.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Maybe, this time I'll get lucky in love.  Right now, I don't want to count any chickens before they hatch.  But we had a longer conversation than either of us had planned for a first date.  We'll see what happens when I tell her about Marian.

Afterwards, I went to see MWL.  By the time I got there, it felt too hot to do much of anything outside.   So we ordered a pizza, and brought it back to her place before going to see "Free Guy".  This movie is a well crafted piece of fluff.  It is a story of an AI becoming self-aware, where it is no threat to humanity.  Instead, humanity is a threat to the AI.  Without spoiling things, I will say that like most "fluff", this film has an appropriate happy ending.

When the film was over, we went back to MWL's place to chat for a while.  The dog she babysat took a liking to me - and it felt comfortable with me from the minute it came into the room.  Too bad it won't be there the next time I see MWL - I like the pooch.

A story of 3 couples.

 

Recently, a conversation with a person triggered some thoughts about personalities, and Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" came to mind.  So I figured I'd start off by noting the chorus to the song and see if it fits:

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you

You're so vain (you're so vain)
I bet you think this song is about you
Don't you don't you?

 

- - - - - -

Today, I got to thinking about general personality types for divorcees and widows, and I realized that much of the problems we have in choosing second (third, etc.) partners are related to how we filter our memories.  Widow(er)s will often put the late spouse on a pedestal, filtering out the bad memories.  Divorcees will often put their ex spouse in the demonic light of hellfire, filtering out the good memories. Not often enough will people see their absent/former partner in a balanced light.  The truth is usually in the middle of the extremes.

So I'll start off by relating three stories of relationships that ended and see what you think:

1. Several years ago, after breaking up with Ex-GF-M, I placed personal ads on OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish.  One of the women I talked with was a pleasant looking Brunette wearing glasses.  But from the beginning I knew that this person would be wrong for me.  She was going through her second divorce, with her to be ex husband sharing a house with her.  All she could do was vent about him and her first ex, and I realized that I didn't want to be the third ex in waiting.
   
   
2. When I was an active member of the AOL Widow/Widower chat room, I befriended a couple that were widowed before they met.  They married, but broke up (in part) because the husband put his late wife on too much of a pedestal.  That's not the loss I'd want to experience if I were to remarry.
   
   
3. One of my friends (who has passed away) stayed on good terms with her ex, and she (with current husband) and her ex (with current wife) would go on vacation together.  I never heard her say a bad word about her ex, but never did she go out of her way to praise him either.  He was a decent man, but someone she couldn't live with.
   

What I see is that in the case of the nasty divorce, one partner has no empathy for anyone but herself.  In the second relationship, the husband put too much of himself into his relationship with the late spouse, and didn't have enough left for his current spouse.  And in the third case, everyone found a happy medium.  Although the third couple must have had some nasty spats, they didn't label the other partner as evil or backstabbing.  They simply agreed that their relationship didn't work out and moved on from there.

- - - - - -

Friendships can end in the same way as couples #1 and 3.  For me, I'd rather be like the 3rd couple, than either of the other 2.  Sadly, this is often not the case.

Just before the pandemic hit last year, I received an email from the ex-wife of my former therapist.  Although she was divorced from her ex, she still loved him.  She just couldn't live with his demons.  She had nothing bad to say about him.  And, having met me in New York, she invited me for lunch at her ex's favorite restaurant.  Too bad that this place is in Hawaii - I'll have to make an extra effort to take her up on her offer....

 

 

 

It's amazing how little information I retain these days.

The title of today's entry is misleading, as it leaves out the context of how one memorizes things.  In my case, I have driven to a particular town in Jersey many times, and I could get there very easily from TCL's house.  However, since MWL takes a different way to the same town via back roads, I can't seem to remember the route because I'm not driving the route.

In the past, I didn't need to develop a form of mental muscle memory for routes from one town to another.  Now, I have to drive them a couple of times to pick up on the details my subconscious needs to know to do the route by myself.  This makes me worry a little about whether my memory is starting to betray me.  But I'm remembering enough things to make me realize that things are normal for a person my age, and that it'll take much more for me to be at risk for major or rapid cognitive decline.

There's a part of me that wishes I could selectively forget things.  Yet, in many ways, I'm glad I can't forget some things.  Forgetting things makes it possible to make the same mistakes again.  And I don't want that.  When I started going out as Marian, I needed encouragement and help to continue doing so.  For this, I will take a former friend for being there when I needed her.  Although there was one person who said I should be proud of what I accomplished, I feel sad that this person couldn't accept me for the person I became.  These are the types of memories I'd like to forget.

- - - - - -

Yet, I ask myself: "What would happen if I go further down this path?"  Would I want to forget more of my past, and manufacture a new one for public consumption?  That I will never know. All I can say that I wish I had a roadmap for the future.  And this doesn't exist yet.

 

A quick note: being too tired to do anything

One of the problems I've been having lately is that I'm too exhausted by the end of the day to do much of anything.  It could be clinical depression.  Or, it could be that I am no longer able to put in 40 hours of work every week.

- - - - - -

When the pandemic started, I got into a rut and let my apartment get too messy for me to have my cleaning lady come back.  Now that she is able to work again, I haven't been able to call her in - my place is too much of a mess.  It'll take me a while to dig myself out of the mess.  But at least I can still present myself as an attractive person outside the apartment.  (I use "attractive" loosely here, as I am not pretty by female standards.)  Yet, if I devote a little time to the process of mess clean up every day, I will finally get my place in order.

Why do I mention the state of my apartment?  Well, I believe that the apartment reflects my current place in my path towards femininity.  Not everything goes as expected.  None of us gets on this path and has everything go smoothly.  I lost a girlfriend (in part) because of this path.  Yet, I have no regrets.  I miss one former friend because of my stupidity. Yet, I've grown stronger because of her exit from my life.  This has been a benefit to me.  I'm in my second job where I can go as Marian.  Yet, I still have to maintain my identity as Mario.  Finding romance is complicated, as I can never be sure of how a woman will react to my identity as Marian.

- - - - - -

Travel along this path can be exhausting, and I have no regrets.  I'm finally out and about as my real self. And who can say that this is a bad thing?
 

 

Thinking about a different cruise than before

 

Normally, I wouldn't think of going on this cruise.  I've been to Port Canaveral, and was bored there.  I wasn't impressed by the cruise line's private island (Great Stirrup Cay), so I didn't take the tender to the island.  (My then girlfriend wasn't that impressed either, as the water wasn't clear, and the tenders were running with delays when we were there.)  But I do want to get to Charleston for a day, as this is a port that is not often on cruises from New York.

With the exception of the single 8 day cruise which adds a stop in Nassau, Bahamas, all of these cruises are reasonably priced.  Given that two of the stops are on US soil, and the other is on the company's private island, I figure that my risks of infection are minimized on this cruise.  I don't plan to get off the boat in Florida, and I may stay on the ship when we're at the private island.  But I will want to go out and see Charleston, and try and find out whether it is worth a return visit.

Yes, this will be a cruise in Marian mode - something I haven't done since my last cruise with my former cruise partner.  Hopefully, she'll be happy doing what she now does without me as a friend.  And I hope I will be just as happy having a stateroom to myself.

 

 

 

 

 

Favor, n: an effort in someone's behalf or interest

 

Favor, n: an effort in someone's behalf or interest.

The above is one of several uses of the word "favor".   It is not the meaning that someone used with me lately, nor is it the one that catalyzed another round of angry messages from someone who was once a close friend of mine.  I will not go into the content of those messages, as they are not the point here and I don't want to rub salt into that person's wounds.  The messages only spurred me to think about the following when communicating with someone with whom one does not have good relations:

First, one has to have real empathy for the other person.  Even if angry at that person, continue to see that person as  a human being worth respect, even if the thought of that person makes your blood boil.  If you can see an issue from their point of view, you might be able to avoid phrases or actions which would make the other person angry.  In short, one must think of how the other person may react before saying or doing anything.

Second, Don't expect others to think like you.  Often, people assume others share the same values, and then get angry when they don't react in the expected way.  Recently, I read about a husband who gave his wife jewelry every year, and never saw her wear it.  He didn't care to find out what she wanted; the gifts were simply an extension of what he'd have wanted had he been in her shoes.

Third, be generous with your thoughts and actions, but don't expect any thanks from the other person.  Sometimes, you will make a big mistake.  And that's normal.  Learn from your mistake and move on.  If you can, try to think of ways to make the other person feel better in the future.  Sometimes, the future will give you a second chance to get back into the good graces of a person.  And sometimes, it doesn't.

In the situation I mentioned at the top of the entry, an action thought of by one person as a favor was thought of by me as needlessly rubbing salt into an open wound.  If you received a "gift" which only brought back sour memories, would you think of it as a favor?  I doubt it.  Hopefully, the person who got upset at me will read this and understand where I come from.  But I doubt it.  If this happens, I'll bet that I will not hear of it.  

Sometimes, it's too easy to delete voicemails

Lately, I've gotten so much spam voicemail that I've forgotten that sometimes I person I want to hear from will leave me a message.  This is what happened to me this weekend.

- - - - - -

Recently, a woman at work and I have struck up a friendly acquaintanceship.  When I mentioned that I might need help sorting out all of the medicare options available to me, she volunteered to put her friend in contact with me.  One problem - I accidentally deleted the voicemail, and I don't remember the woman's name.  So I'll have to go back to my friend, mention the situation, and hope I can get the information I need.

Most of the time, dealing with voicemail spam is easy. One swipes to the right to delete the spam.  But when there's lots of spam in the voice mail folder, performing this task can be tedious.  Yes, there are ways to highlight each bad message and then mass deleting them.  But the process is not intuitive.  So I tend to do this one message at a time, and often delete messages I want to keep.

Yet, I'm willing to clean up the mess on my phone, as it's a lot easier to deal with the mess on my computer or in my apartment.

 

 

It's hard to keep up with my friends and family, but....

 

Ever since I've been "post retirement" working, I'm finding it impossible to get together with many of the people I'd like to be with.  Last year, it was the pandemic.  This year, it's been work exhaustion.  What will it be next year?

What I find strange is that the older I get, the harder it is to meet with people.  Some of the people I know are dying off.  Some are moving away to retirement residences (in low tax states).  Then, some are taking care of others, and not able to get out to do things for themselves.  In short, everyone has a life, and we're all trying to make as productive use of our time as possible.

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Recently, I got together with FH after several weeks of looking for a time we could get together.  We had a nice day talking about life and catching up on things.  Of course, I wasn't going to screw up a day with MWL to spend a Saturday with her.  Vicki #2 is impossible to meet up with these days, as she has important family problems of her own that she's dealing with.  And I haven't seen my brother in what seems like ages.  We all have responsibilities that we have to manage, and I respect my family, friends, and acquaintances for doing just this.

The other day, I found out that a cruise I was thinking of taking was sold out. As a result, I realize that I now have an opportunity to see some people I haven't seen in years.  The first is a transwoman I know who has cancer.  I know her through a woman who once was a close friend.  If I see this transwoman, it will have to be soon, as I know what cancer can do to a person.  In better times, I'd offer a seat to this former friend on my trip. It's doubtful that the two of us could be civil long enough to visit my acquaintance - so I will not even suggest it. (Neither of us were pleased by our last communication, and I don't want a repeat of this incident.)  Since it doesn't make sense to gamble on being in this city just for the sake of visiting this acquaintance, I'll make sure that I'll visit the usual tourist spots and get together with someone I met on one of my cruises.  The second person I'd meet is a train buff who reads this blog.  It'd be nice to catch up with her in Baltimore when I finally get to visit the B&O Railroad museum.  If I was lucky on this part of the trip, I'd also get to meet a transwoman (and her wife) who I haven't seen since my only trip to Fantasia Fair.

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Several people I know have moved to Florida over the years.  I am not in a rush to go there.  But when I do, I will try to visit them.  Yet, assuming I do, I will need to make sure that my trans identity doesn't get in the way of doing things.  It'd be nice to see YGM again....

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Years ago, my wife and I went to the wedding of the daughter of my late uncle once removed.  (That is, my grandmother's brother's daughter, my cousin once removed.)  I don't remember much about that day, save that we didn't get to the church on time.  Since then, her dad, then her mom passed away.  My brother and I talked about going to visit her, but never did.  Hopefully, I will get the chance to see her soon.

 

 

 

I am totally exhausted from a job which requires little physical effort

 

One of the reasons I may quit my job is that I'm totally exhausted at the end of the day.  Although the job is not physically or mentally demanding, it saps the energy out of you.  If I can say one thing about this job it will be that I was given the chance to work as Marian, with only one (or two) people knowing that I am still legally Mario.

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Each day, I write out a long list of things to do - and then never get around to doing them.  It's part of my coping mechanism to deal with the boredom of my job.  Today, I was given the new responsibility of indexing family court documents.  (I don't bother reading what's inside these docs, as there is nothing I can legally talk about, nothing I want to remember, other than the fact that these documents pass past my eyes.)  Like another type of legal documents I've indexed, I look for two fields on/in each document, enter them into the database, and move onto the next document.  I am just a small part of the process.  Try doing this for 8 hours at a stretch, and you'll know how a job that requires no physical exertion can be exhausting.

With this being said, this work is an essential part of keeping our courts running.  The information in these documents must be preserved for "x" years, and warehouses would be bursting open if they had to keep all these documents in physical storage.  This is why my firm exists - to make the process of going paperless easier for the organizations that use our services.  And I'm glad I've been able to work for them for the past several months.

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Sooner or later, virtually all documentation will be electronic.  Then, the big consideration will be keeping the documents secure in electronic storage.  Can governments trust a private cloud?  What about private businesses?  Will the data repositories be safe from hackers?  We are entering a new age, and I'm not sure of whether we are prepared for the problems coming our way....

 

Game night came a little early this month.

 

The above picture has nothing to do with the subject of this entry.  I just thought it nice enough to be posted, and a reminder of travels I once made before the pandemic changed everything.

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Normally, game night is two weeks on, then two weeks off.  This month, the host made a minor mistake in scheduling, and we ended up getting together one week early.  That is more than OK with me, as I was there in time to play a game from the beginning AND play it until it came to a natural end.

The host and hostess of game night are good people, and I have signed some papers which should benefit their children if something bad were to happen to my family before I die.  Hopefully, this situation will never come to pass.  But it if does, I know of two people who will remember me even more fondly than they do now.  And this couple accepts me as Marian, not caring that my legal identity is still Mario....

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I've been going to game night for the better part of a decade now, and am considered one of the core group of people they will invite into their house to play games.  It's nice to be considered someone people wants to have around.