Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Now that I'm part of a couple....

 

RQS and I.  It seems like we're always together these days.  Not bad for a transgender woman who knows her limits.  And I hope that it keeps going as well as it has been so far.  But this post is not directly about RQS.

- - - - - -

Before I met RQS, I was thinking about getting more involved with the church I have sporadically attended. It would have been nice socializing with the other ladies of the church, and gradually perfecting my feminine persona.  But I would have felt a void, as an area for socialization was taken away from me due to the craziness between myself, XGFJ, and FCP.  This is not the place to rehash the past, so I'll skip all of the details.  Now that RQS is in my life, I no longer have the time or inclination to hang out with the FTF meetup group in Connecticut.

Life for me is very different than I envisioned a year ago.  For example, I haven't shared a dinner table on a cruise since meeting RQS.  And sometimes I miss the random element that chooses my dinner companions.  It was nice to meet people and find out new things from people not in my circle of acquaintances.  Even when I met a GOP couple from Louisiana (dining at a shared table) on a trip with FCP, I enjoyed the conversation as a single - until FCP got there and turned a learning experience into a debate.  People change their positions slowly, and a smart person avoids controversy when there is no gain to be had. 

Yes, there are times that I couch my words so that phrases I'd use in the past do not upset RQS.  This is a reasonable thing to do, as we come from very different social groups.  Yet, we are very much alike, and have developed a sense of trust that doesn't usually come as quickly as it has.

- - - - - -

Today, I drove RQS back home, so that she could go to the gym and do her exercises.  Why did I do that when there was a train that could be taken?  Well, RQS bought a large volume (space, not count) of paper goods and needed to get them to her house. So, we put them in the trunk of my car, and proceeded to her house.  In all the confusion when in her neighborhood when we arrived, we were rushing to get her luggage out of my car before the bus came by.  Of course, we forgot the paper goods in my trunk!

Luckily, we can smile at things like this.  To have a person in my life who makes me feel good, that accepts me for who and what I am, and communicates in sync enough with me that we have yet to have a major disagreement is some sort of miracle for which I am thankful.


Tuesday, March 21, 2023

I just booked another cruise!

 

I saw this itinerary the other day, and said that I have to book it.  The best man at my wedding lives near one of these ports, and I would like to see him one last time.

But first....

Yesterday, RQS and I paid for our next cruise and decided to take this cruise early next year.  Both of us get to see people important to us, and both of us will be spending money that could have gone to a cruise in Marian mode.  This is not as much of an issue as it seems, as RQS is warming up to the idea of spending life with me, more and more in Marian mode.

I wish I could take the above trip in Marian mode.  Without knowing how any of the foreign ports deal with transgender people, I do not want to risk getting off the ship with government issued id that differs from my current gender presentation.  Hopefully, I will be able to rectify this at some future date. Sometime soon, I plan to research how many foreign ports look at transgender people, especially those who are either in the middle of physical transition, or those whose gender presentation disagrees with that on their government issued id.  In my case, I tend to play it safe with my travels, only getting off of a ship when I know my rights are protected by the locality.  When I have any doubts, I stay onboard and stay safe in my bubble until the next port.

Is it right that we should fear to live full lives?  No!  Sadly, we are not able to force others to treat us fairly.  But our money can do so.  Greed is an important motivator for many people.  If they can see profit in treating people with respect, they will do so.  For us to be free, it will be our money that has to do the talking.  In the future, I hope that it will be our money, and the size of our community that will make the difference for us when we travel to places on the route above.

Monday, March 20, 2023

We are under attack!

 

Now that the GOP has lost its war against Homosexuals and "Gay Marriage", they have turned their sights directly onto us, the Transgender Community.  If one looks carefully at the bills that have been passed which ban gender related treatment, we see an underlying hatred for things "Conservatives" don't understand, are fearful of, and want to rid the world of because of that fear.

I see homosexuality and being transgender as part of a greater intersex spectrum, something that happens when one part of a fetus's development (brain and body) does not happen according to typical gender lines. This is different from many people see intersex, as I include the wiring of the brain as part of the definition of intersex.

When people are not able to classify something into something they can understand and manage, their fears go out of control.  Rationality is lost, as primeval instincts kick in.  When people live under constant threat due to their inability to escape poverty, they turn to bombastic populist leaders. When people remember "the good old days" without seeing how bad they were for others, they want simple answers to complicated problems.  We now see all of these issues and more in the people who support the radicals in today's GOP.

We are under attack.  There are a large number of places in this country where I am afraid to travel as Marian because of being transgender.  My rights to be treated with dignity and respect are being taken away by the likes of the governors of Florida and Texas, all for political gain.  The people of their states (and other "Red States" as well) need scapegoats to punish for their misfortune.  Even though I blend in well with cisgender women, I would not feel safe in entering a public washroom in these states.  If I were to enter a place of public accommodation, I could be discriminated against without reason.  And, if I were to deal with law enforcement authorities, I could be treated in a way that puts my life at risk.  Is this right?

There is a culture war going on right now, and large swaths of the population who have retreated into political tribalism. There are large areas of this nation which are one party states.  In the past, even the dominant party in these states could reasonably be expected to be voted out if it didn't do a good enough job for their states.  This is not the case anymore.  People such as Florida's governor are trying to ban the opposition political party for actions many of its leaders took over 160 years ago. This is not democracy in action.  This is an authoritarian government in waiting that is trying to do this.

I'm not sure of what we can do next.  Strangely enough, I would take (the lunatic) Marjorie Taylor Greene's suggestion that we have a Red and Blue State divorce, and run with it a little. I'd suggest something a little bit more dangerous to the Red States: a requirement that the US Federal Government spend no more than 5% more or less in every state than it collects in tax revenue.  Since the Blue States contribute more to the government in tax revenues than they receive, this would be a net benefit to these states.  We could also set a federal minimum level for social spending in every state as a requirement for new federal projects to be placed in the Red States.  This would slow down the "Brain Drain" from Blue to Red states, caused by the poor education standards (as a whole) in those states. 

In my opinion, what we're seeing are the things that happen when there is a great difference in living standards between the rich and poor in a society.  Like the people of Brazil, America's people fell out of love with democracy and elected a bombastic and ineffective leader as it moved to the right, and then moved to the left as a backlash against the right.  Until we can force government to do its job, people at the margins of society are at great risk, as we are the pawns in a larger game of power.  

So what can we do to change things?  As a species, we do not like rapid or radical change. Progress can only come slowly.  In the case of politics, our leaders are in a continual battle to be reelected, so that they can gain power.  Not solving  problems is their best way to have things to rally against, and get votes.  As the parties become more extreme, the more likely one will pick a minority group (Jews, Muslims, Homosexuals, Transgenders, Political Opponents, etc.) as demons to obliterate.  But the question remains: How do we enact simple, long term changes to fix this?  To me, the answer is amazingly simple - term limits for all politicians.  Years ago, a friend told me that death gives meaning to life.  Without death, we'd have no reason to finish anything.  The same goes for elected leadership.  If a leader knows that s/he has only a limited amount of time to achieve anything, they will focus on getting important things done.  By that subtle change alone, there will be no need for scapegoats, as politicians would only be judged by what they supported, and not what they opposed.

Yes, I am proposing a subtle change to nudge the system in a way that benefits us.  This prevents the opposition from labeling this in a derogatory fashion.  And, if we were to "grandfather" all currently serving officeholders from these same term limits, we might get the support needed to make an important change in the system whose effect could be seen in a single generation.

What do you think? 

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Co-Op Issues - a short post.

 


I am known to my co-op board of directors as both Mario and Marian.  This is not and will not be an issue for me with the co-op.  But there is something that annoys me quite a bit, and it's related to a personnel issue that we've been dealing with for a while.  Although I can't talk about this issue, I can say that it has caused me to write "nastygrams" which would have made my late wife proud.

My late wife was good at writing complaint letters to businesses.  I can still remember a letter she wrote to our (then) favorite Chinese Restaurant complaining of horrible service given by a waiter who ignored us for the entire meal.  Needless to say, the owner gave us a free meal and made sure that we didn't see that waiter again.

Lately, I have been developing a similar skill when doing my duties for the co-op.  We have a vendor whose performance is sub par, and I have been in contact with the owner to get things resolved to our satisfaction. (This is about all I can say about the issue, as it doesn't mention the vendor or the nature of the issue.)  This has been a good experience for me, as I have learned something about myself at the same time as I've learned things about others.

Hopefully, these issues will be resolved soon.  If not, I will continue with my letter writing and documenting the lack of progress on these issues as needed.

Saturday, March 18, 2023

Cruise shopping


This is an example of a cruise I want to take in the next 3 years.  It would give me an opportunity to both see my uncle, as well as being able to see a friend in Florida.  Its drawback is that I would need to travel as Mario for this trip, instead of traveling as Marian.  Unfortunately, the world is not yet safe enough for a transgender person who has not legally transitioned. Even with this headaches, I still like to travel - even if I have to travel as Mario.  

Right now, I am scheduled to take a California coastal cruise this summer, as well as a Bermuda cruise later this fall.  Next year, I am planning to take two cruises: a western Caribbean cruise out of Tampa, and a combined Norwegian Fjord/Iceland cruise out of Southampton.  If possible, I may figure out a way to take another cruise in the fall of next year.

Ideally, I will find a cruise which I can take in Marian mode.  It would be easy for RQS and I to do another Canada run.  But it would likely be a bit of a bore for me, as I've done this route at least 5 times. However, I could get into doing the California coast a few times, as the cruise I'm taking this summer goes to cities I'd like to know more.  And on this cruise, I could go as Marian (on future runs), as I would not be obligated to meet with my uncle in LA.

Friday, March 17, 2023

Doctors - a short post

 

Today was a boring day with only one theme that carried through the day - Doctors.  First, I had to check whether I needed to renew my CPAP prescription before buying a new CPAP machine. Next, I received a call from my internist's office asking me whether I would be able to change my appointment. And then, the daughter of the couple hosting game night was dressed in a plague doctor's uniform.  It seems like doctors in one form or another set the tone for the day.

- - - - - -

Being serious, I hardly thought of medical issues today.  Instead, I rested all day until it was time to prepare for game night.  Since I didn't get out of the house until 5 pm, it made sense for me to go to the local Shoprite to pick up something sweet to bring to game night and something substantial to eat tomorrow night.

I  ended up getting dressed twice tonight, as I wanted to wear something that didn't pinch me on my waist line.  The first pair of leggings I wore were too tight, so I switched into something more comfortable that I could wear while sitting down for a few hours.

When I made it to game night, I saw the host's daughter wearing the above plague doctor costume.  I had to take a picture and send it to a couple of my friends. After that, I chatted with the host for an hour and a half, as there were not enough people attending to start a second game.  It was the longest chat I've had with him for a while, and it was a serious chat about work, family, and other assorted things. Eventually, the first game broke up, and I was able to join in a second game  - which I won.  It was a nice way to end the day.

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Trivia Night - A short post

 

With the weather being what it has been of late, I wasn't in the mood to get up, go outside and do things. So, I took my time doing nothing all day until I was ready to get showered and dressed to go to trivia night with a meetup group.

Getting ready to go out normally wouldn't be a problem for me in either gender presentation.  Not knowing today's outside conditions made me think of how I wanted to dress, and whether it would be the way a cisgender female would dress.  And that's where my trouble began.  I wasn't going to wear a dress as a dress.  At most, I'd wear one as a tunic, and wear a pair of leggings underneath.  But I thought of an alternate outfit - a nice top and slacks combination.  So I pulled a nice top out of the closet and reached for what I thought was a pair of trousers.  AARGH!  These were leggings!  I couldn't wear them with the top I planned to wear.  As a result, I went back to my closet for the first tunic dress I could find.  At least, I looked put together, if a little bit drab.

Now that I was ready to go, it was off to Yorktown for trivia.  We had a small group, and we performed respectfully well after 5 rounds.  But we still lost.  And then it was time to go home for the night.  As much as I'd like to get together with the meetup group more often, I enjoy getting together with RQS more often. 


Wednesday, March 15, 2023

The first snow day in New York

 

We knew that it was going to snow today.  The question was: How Much?  And we found out by noon.  I went out to my car to find 5 inches of the white stuff coating my car, and knew that I had to get it out of the way for the snow plow to do its thing.  In short, the weather dictated my gender presentation for the day, and I don't expect that I'll be going out as Marian until Thursday.

- - - - - -

Once I brushed off my car and went to the deli for lunch, I returned home to find a parking spot that had been plowed out - but with two cars next to me that prevented a side of my spot from being cleared.  This will not be much of a problem for me over the next few days, but could become a problem if we have another snowstorm towards the end of the week.

 

When I got to my apartment, I found the "mystery dress" I ordered from Universal Standard.  The color shipped is a "Rose Clay", something a little too soft for my taste.  (I wish I could have gotten this dress in the color the woman is wearing in the above photo.) Yet, I think I'll get some value out of it this summer, as the fabric feels like one is wearing nothing at all.

Later on, RQS sent me a text.  She will be having her taxes done by Fran.  She (RQS) was getting her pronouns mixed up, as she was responding to Fran's masculine voice.  It'll be interesting to see how Fran measures up to RQS's standards.  Hopefully, I'll have referred her to a good accountant.

For the most part, it was a day to stay inside and do nothing - and that I did....

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

This was the first weekend in a while that I spent fully as Marian

 


This weekend, RQS came up to my place, knowing that I'd be in Marian mode all weekend.  I was having lunch with a friend from the imaging/indexing firm I once worked with, and then would be spending Sunday evening with friends from my game night group to enjoy some comedy.  If I had still been with XGFJ, this would have been impossible. But I am with RQS, and am very grateful to be sharing much of my life with her....

- - - - - -

When I woke up on Friday, I knew that I had a 12:30 lunch appointment with my friend (noted in a prior post).  Since I didn't want to change back into Mario for the evening, I let RQS know who to expect at the train station.  She arrived on the 5:00 train, and we proceeded to Trader Joe's to do some shopping before going home for the evening.

Saturday came, and we started off the day very slowly. But we had a goal - stopping off at Home Goods and then Ikea in Paramus.  So we got on the road by 4:00, and took Jersey side roads to reach Route 17 North of the store.  Arriving at the store, RQS went a little nuts (an over exaggeration) buying things for her place, while I bought a small handful of things I know I'll be using in the near future - such as a 3 prong blind cleaner that I picked up for under $4.00.  Then, it was off to Ikea, where I found a small "baking" (?) pan I could use in my toaster oven.  I spent more in gas and tolls than I did at the 2 stores. It was a good excuse to get out of the house, and allowed the 2 of us to do something we don't get the chance to do at her place.

But Sunday was the big day of the weekend.  We were meeting friends from the Yonkers Game Night Group to go to dinner and watch some comedy.  Although the comedians weren't that great, we enjoyed a nice night out with friends who know me as Trans, but treat me as a "normal" person.  I think they are glad that RQS is in my life, and I hope that she can be with me occasionally on one of our bi-monthly game nights.

Monday, March 13, 2023

When I started to write this post, I had nothing to say.

 

As I've said in a previous post, this is how I wish I could make my face look.  When I told RQS about the website that allowed me to transform my masculine face into a feminine face, she wondered how she would look as a male.  Today, I finished work on the edit, removing extra hair from "her" face to look like a typical male - and "she" looked like she could have been her father's brother!  If I were into males, I'd be attracted to RQS's male image.  I guess that no matter what gender we were born into, we'd still find each other attractive.

- - - - - -

Right now, I'm relaxing in my apartment, catching up on things.  I was pleased to find that our co-op's site representative sent out a mailing on time, as directed.  (I thought that he wouldn't realize how time sensitive the material was, and would have waited for a go-ahead before a second edit review to send it out.)  Now, we're on track to take care of some business in a timely manner.

Sometime later in the day, I'll be taking care of laundry.  Although I have two loads to put away, I have (at least) another two loads to catch up on things.  It's one of those "might as well" tasks that I can take care of when I have nothing urgent to do and need to get something done to feel good about the day. 

And this triggered the thought of a conversation I had last night....

A friend of mine has family duties (that I won't describe here) that limits the activities she can do to earn money. I said that I would look up an acquaintance from my Census days and see if she still has contacts for work that my friend can do at home.  Hopefully, I'll be able to help this friend.

 

 



Sunday, March 12, 2023

I met a friend today, oh boy....

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I do not have that much to say....

- - - - - -

A while back, I had scheduled lunch with my friend Suzanne from the company I used to work for.  Today, we finally had another chance to get together and chat about what is going on in our lives.

Suzanne was a little late, as she was catching up on things that piled up on her in the morning. (I won't go into any details, as she has a business that she is developing.)  But when she finally arrived, the conversation flowed like water.  I told her about the "Before and After" picture in yesterday's post, but couldn't show it to her because I didn't upload it into the cloud.  I also looked for an email containing an apartment that was literally trashed, but couldn't find that one as well.  (I won't include it here, as looking at the picture makes me feel sick.)

It's always nice to talk with someone who knows that I am transgender and live in both male and female worlds.  It would be even nicer that I would have an androgynous face to go along with whatever presentation I am in, as I would like to shift more into the female mode than I am today.  And it is nice to be able to be with women who accept me for who and what I am.... 

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Before & After - How I would like to look if I could go for Facial Feminization Surgery

 

On her blog, Stana provides a link to a site (Wondershare) that will take a male image and convert it to a  female image using Artificial Intelligence.  The more I look at the image on the right, the more I want to look like that woman.

Just looking at the images, I noticed several things:

  • The AI remover the barrette from my hair.
  • The AI changed the frames of the glasses I wear.
  • The AI gave me a bigger smile.
  • The AI narrowed my jaw line.
  • The AI gave me a narrower nose.
  • The AI gave me a little more fat on my cheeks.

There may be more changes that the AI would generate using another picture.  But I was amazed at how good (if not beautiful) it made my face look.

Given what I see above, I now have even more reasons to lose my extra weight, so that when I get excess skin removed from my body, that I can justify partial Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) at that time. Hopefully, by doing only the lower part of my face, I will retain the ability to switch between gender presentations and look authentic in both.  Yet, assuming I am still in a relationship with RQS, I would look to get her OK before taking this next step.

And Damn!  I could get used to seeing the face on the right in my mirror every morning.  Not bad for a 65 y/o gal!!!!

Friday, March 10, 2023

Today was a day spent both lounging and cleaning in fits and spurts

 

This picture was taken a while back, when my desk was neater than it is now.  The clutter on my desk should give my readers an idea of what I let happen in my apartment since the pandemic started.  The rest of the bedroom was in worse condition, but I took some time today to clean things up a little in fits and spurts.

Cleaning up this apartment post-covid has been an exercise in frustration.  It seems like I take 2 steps forward while taking 1 step backward.  Thankfully, RQS has been with me to help on occasion, and things have gradually started to look better.  While straightening things up, I was able to clean up space in my dining area and make the area around my air conditioner much more accessible than it has been in a dog's age.  The same goes for the bedroom, as I've taken the time to throw out more stuff and sort through things that need to find better homes.

RQS notes that we have both accumulated a lot of stuff over the past 30-40 years, and that we don't have enough room to move about in our apartments.  Yet, neither of us likes having accumulated as much as we have accumulated.  We are not alone.  At least, we can gradually eliminate much of the unneeded stuff in our apartments by giving much of it away.  Hoarders can not and will not do so. Hopefully, we will continue the gradual clean out of unneeded stuff from our places, so that we have the option to merge our households sometime in the future.  Only time will tell...

Thursday, March 9, 2023

I accidentally told two friends about me - and I was accepted for who and what I am - a short post

 

A while back, I accidentally posted a link to this blog on the wrong Facebook page, and two of my friends who only knew me as Marian found out about Mario.  I was very surprised, but told my friends the truth about me, and that I was glad that I could finally show my authentic self without filtering.

Now I understand how Fran felt when someone finally caught her switching back and forth between male and female modes.  And I'm glad I made it through this with friendships intact.  Yes, I see changes.  But these will be healthy ones, as we can be much more open with each other than before.....

- - - - - -

Regarding Fran....

RQS has been looking for a new accountant to do her taxes.  Knowing that Fran could use some business, I suggested to RQS that she should reach out to Fran.  (Why not send business along to another TG person?  I'll likely switch to using Fran when my accountant retires.)  So later this evening, I'll find Fran's contact information and give it to RQS....

Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Another Mystery Purchase from Universal Standard

 


Every year or so, Universal Standard holds a "Mystery Box" sale.  Over the years, I've purchased several bodysuits (think unitards for exercising), dresses, and "Mystery Boxes".  Buying these mystery boxes is a gamble.  I've often ended up spending $100 for items worth $300, but getting a single item worth $100 that I will put into my everyday wardrobe.  Tonight, I bought a single item mystery box, figuring that I could risk spending $60 to get a dress worth $100.

For example,I got the below wrap dress (and a similar dress in a different color) in a mystery box I purchased during the middle of Covid.  There was no way I could wear such a nice dress out, when virtually every place I could go in this dress was closed for the pandemic.

Yet, there was a sweatshirt dress I got in this shipment that I wore much more often, as it was casual enough (and warm enough) to go out in colder weather when restaurants were open at 50% of capacity. The only thing I didn't keep from this shipment was a bandeau top - something that would be useless for someone without natural breasts on her body.

Do I have a clue about I will receive?  Other than the garment being a dress in my size, they aren't saying anything. But with all the expenses I've been incurring lately, I figure that I could risk $60 to get a good deal on a quality product.

 

ps: From what I've read elsewhere, Universal Standard may open a single store in NYC to show its goods.  Hopefully, this will be true and the store will open soon, as I enjoyed examining their clothes in person.







Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Catching up on chores

 

It wasn't the nicest of days today. So I opted for a day indoors, and decided to take care of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be done.  Given that it was cold and wet, I saw no point in getting dressed and going out as Marian today.  Instead, I figured that I would take care of things around the apartment and catch up on chores that needed to be taken care of.

- - - - - -

Unlike some TG people, I keep my male and female wardrobes separate and rarely share anything between the wardrobes excepting socks.  So this forces me to take an extra step when I do laundry.  Before washing clothes, I separate whites from colors.  After drying clothes, I separate male from female clothes and store them accordingly.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I met an acquaintance who blends items from both male and female sides of the closet. It's hard enough for me to keep things straight when switching between gender presentations without having to worry if a garment pairing appears too masculine or feminine.  In some areas of this country, people have been beaten up for much less than an androgynous gender presentation.  So, seeing this friend reminded me of why I do not blend my gender presentations, and why I work to make my feminine presentation as authentic as possible - as if I were a cisgender woman wearing the same clothes.

- - - - - -

I try to make my feminine presentation as accurate as possible, so that I will be mistaken for a cisgender female 99% of the time.  This would make it possible for me to visit my friends in Texas - if I were willing to take the chance to do so.  Right now, whenever I go on a cruise as Marian, I think that the cruise line's facial recognition technology spits out an error code when it scans my photo, triggering a new picture of me to be taken when I arrive at the cruise terminal.  It's too bad that I don't have feminine fat distribution.  I would love to have a zaftig woman's T&A - if only so that I can wear a woman's skirted bathing suit or garments that expose my cleavage, without my biological gender being revealed. 

There are many things that make it possible to blend in as a woman.  First comes confidence.  Next comes the quality of presentation. And finally, one needs to be comfortable in her own skin.  With the exception of having a large body, I think I do well enough to avoid having major problems. (At least, I hope so.)  With that being said, I'd like to have legal ID that corresponds to an ambiguous gender presentation (including name), save for my gender marker.  That would be good enough for 99% of the times I need to present an ID card in public.

One can dream....


Monday, March 6, 2023

Spending another weekend in Queens

 

Over the past year, I have been in the above subway station many times.  Either I have taken a bus to reach this station, or I have made subway transfers there.  RQS's house is nearby.  And when I reach this station on the way to her house, I know that it is a short time before we are together for the weekend.  This week was slightly different, as I approached this station by car on the way to drop RQS off at her house.

But first....

Last weekend, I left my big suitcase at RQS's place after returning from our trip to DC.  The only things I took home with me were a knapsack with some books in it, and my CPAP machine.  Everything else could wait until this weekend.

On Friday, I drove to RQS's place and was able to find a parking spot within a block and a half from her place.  And this is where the car would stay until Monday.  We figured that we could make a supermarket run before I left for home, and RQS (with her groceries) would be dropped off at her place on my way back home.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we didn't have a good idea of what to do.  So I suggested that we take the subway into Manhattan and get a sandwich at Katz's Delicatessen.  Although it was cold, it was the best thing we could think of.  By the time we got there, we realized that we made a mistake - there was a block long line of people waiting to get into Katz's.  There was no way we were going to wait out in the cold for an hour.  So we walked into the East Village and looked for some of the Indian restaurants we remembered being there.  Sadly, "Little India" had left The Village, and we had to look for something else to eat.  Luckily we found an excellent Chinese restaurant, Chef Tan, which serves both authentic Chinese dishes and American "Chinese" dishes.  Although we were "warned" against it, we decided to order the Dongting Special Shrimp.  This was our only disappointment, as we didn't like the crunchiness of the tiny shrimp, nor did we like the heat of the dish.  However, the Iron Plate with Mongolian Beef more than made up for the first dish.  After dinner, we wanted something sweet for dessert, and Tipsy Scoop was only a bus ride away.  So, it was off to our favorite ice cream shop to pick up a couple of pints of boozy ice cream.  

- - - - - -

Sunday was a slow motion day, and RQS decided that it was time to donate some of her goods to an informal charity exchange a few blocks from her house.  Around mid-afternoon, we wheeled a couple of shopping carts to the exchange place, and left goods there for the needy to take without question. (I will not mention more about this place, as the needy people don't need to be gawked at by others.) From this place, we walked to a nearby pizza joint for a bite to eat before going home for the evening.

- - - - - -

Monday was the day my car had to move because of alternate side of the street parking rules.  We figured that I'd load my luggage into the trunk, and RQS would load her groceries into my back seat. First, we had to make it to Wegman's in Brooklyn. Normally, this would be a 30 minute trip through Brooklyn streets.  However, several traffic snarl-ups caused us to take a convoluted path to Wegman's that Google Maps wouldn't suggest - and we got there in less than an hour.  $100 later, RQS was ready to leave, and it only took us 30 minutes to get back to her place.

It was a long, but enjoyable weekend.  But I'll be glad to get back into my dresses again....

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Can I squeeze in another cruise this year without breaking the budget?

 
 
This past December, I took a bucket list cruise to Hawaii.  I really want to take this cruise again if I can find both the money and the time.  Thinking about this, I wondered, how much cruising can I get into a year of vacations?  And if I find cruises that are worth the money, how do I find the money to afford these cruises without breaking open my nest egg?

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RQS and I just got back from a 5 day trip to Washington, DC, and we have 2 more cruises scheduled for later in the year.  I would like to squeeze in at least 1 or 2 more cruises without breaking the bank, or getting RQS too upset at me.  So, how should I do it?

To answer this question, I am thinking of ways that I can make money off of my travels.  Given that I often travel as Marian, many LGBT cruisers might want access to my knowledge.  Given that I have enough knowledge to counsel the average surface traveler, that might be another area worth exploring. Yet, I can see people traveling vicariously reading about my travels.  But this can only be part of an answer.  I must find ways to travel on the cheap.

Traveling cheaply isn't as hard as it seems.  For example, I spent $62 for a round trip Amtrak ticket between New York and Washington, DC.  If I weren't traveling with RQS, I might have stayed at a cheaper hotel and eaten as more downscale restaurants.  I might have even done what many people do, and picked up reheatable food at a local supermarket and eaten it in my hotel room when the weather isn't so great.  But one can only go so far in being frugal.  Taking a vacation should be a little bit of a splurge, a chance to treat one's self to things not available at home.

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Sometime in the summer, or near year's end, I would like to take another cruise - this time in Marian mode.  To do this, I will want RQS's blessing, as I don't want to risk doing damage to our relationship.  Yet, there is a way that she'd be more than happy for me to take these cruises.  If this becomes a reality, I will say more here....

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Trying to keep on top of things - a short post

 

 

As my long time readers are aware, I am on my co-op's board of directors.  And the thing I hate doing most is paperwork - especially the type that I need to take notes for, or to record financial information.  So what happened to me?  I am now the official note taker for our monthly meetings, and have to deal with monthly minutes.  What bothers me more is that my brother is asking me to take care of all the paperwork for the family homestead, something I know I'll screw up no matter how easy he tries to make it for me.

It's hard for me to deal with paperwork, as I will gloss over things that should have been recorded and that I will misfile things in logical places.  And now, I'm trying to keep on top of things for which my actions could affect others.  AARGH!

Soon it will be time to take care of my taxes.  Hopefully, I will have overpaid enough during the period that I worked last year, so that what I underpaid from my pension will not cause me any negative tax consequences.  Next year, I can fix this issue by over withholding taxes from my social security payments.  Until then, I have to stay on top of things, so that I have enough money in the right places to pay my taxes.... 


Friday, March 3, 2023

Friends and acquaintances are slowly coming out of the woodwork - a short post.

 

Every so often, I try to reach out to people I haven't heard from in a while.  Today, 3 people reached out to me to say what's up in their lives.

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Several years ago, I met a woman from Ontario who has become a pen pal.  There was no way we could have a romantic relationship, but we enjoyed each other's company on the cruise.  I was pleasantly surprised when she wrote me at the end of her most recent cruise.  Sadly, like me, she has noticed the quality of NCL amenities going down while the cruise price is going up.  In response, I mentioned that we're taking our next cruise on Princess, and may switch to cruising with them for a while if they sail the routes we want to take.

Next, I received a call from FL.  She has moved out of her place on the Jersey shore, and has moved inland.  Her faith is very important to her, and she has found a church that is growing.  More importantly, she is now seeing someone - and I'm very glad for her.

Finally, Patty (my ex-girlfriend from years ago) stepped out of the woodwork for a little bit.  Sadly, things have been going wrong for her, and she's dealing with quite a few inconveniences.  Hopefully, things will get better for her soon.

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I mentioned a select group of people, as I'm not a person with whom most people think of to keep in contact.  So it was nice to hear from these people - just to break the routine....

Lasagna - a dish Garfield and I both love.

  Today, it was lunch with CCS in Ossining.  Given that I hadn't seen her in a month, I was hoping for a quiet time at a "Red Sauce...