Attending a meetup

 

It's been years since I belonged to this meetup group.  The woman who sponsored it had gotten divorced, closed her restaurant, and moved out of state. However, I try to maintain membership in some meetup groups which have mid-week get togethers.

 

This past Thursday, I was able to attend a meetup with a group whose meetings are usually on weekends.  Like some of the meetups I've attended over the past year, this one was a trivia/dining get together at The Bayou in Mt. Vernon.  Prior to Covid, I would usually be at this restaurant several times each year.  But now, this was the first time I've been here since my former cruise partner and I had the spat that ended our friendship 5 1/2 years ago.

 

Parking in Mt. Vernon is always a headache.  Luckily, I was able to find a spot one block over from the restaurant. I was the first to arrive.  So, I killed time until another person came in and recognized me.  And then, we waited for the meetup's host to arrive.  The host arrived, and we got seated before the trivia contest started.  When asked for a name for our trivia team, one lady suggested the Bayou Babes.  It was nice to be considered one of the girls.

 

By 10 pm, trivia was over with, and I was on my way home.  I'm glad I didn't cancel this meeting.....

 

I got a call the other night about DCD

 

When I "sold" my old Honda Civic to DCD, I gave him a car in almost perfect repair.  A year or two ago, I replaced the car's exhaust system, and the car was running as quiet as when the car was first in my possession.  The other night, I found out how badly DCD is treating his car, and it made me sad.  He is not responsible enough to drive a car, much less own one.

NDC (as i called her in a prior post) called me right after I put a load of clothes in the dryer. She told me the story of how DCD screwed up the exhaust system on his car, making it sound like a convention of Harley Davidson motorcycles driving on the open road.  He lost his temper, sped through her complex, hitting a speed bump and making the exhaust system worthless.  But this wasn't all. He is now homeless and lives out of the car.  The other day, he ran out of gas, leaving his car in the middle of the street.  NDC lent him her charge card to buy a gas can and to fill his car.  But he dawdled enough, that she worried that he absconded both with the car and her charge card.  She was almost ready to call the police when he returned. NDC was livid.  DCD's car was still in the middle of the street a couple of hours after DCD called her for help.

DCD had medical appointments the following day, as part of making preparations for his upcoming cancer surgery and chemotherapy.  Without a car, he won't make it to those appointments. I expect that without the right help, he will die alone in his car - if he even gets to keep the car.  As for me, I don't want the car back when he dies - it will cost me more to fix it than it is worth.  At least, he and those around him will be out of their misery.

 

 

I don't know what to make of this

 

I don't know what to make of this.  When I first saw the video on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, I thought it was one of Kimmel's jokes.  However, this image (and others) comes from an Orange Snowflake post on "Truth" Social.  It wasn't until I looked it up this morning (by the time you read this, two weeks will have passed) that I found that it was a real post.  As some people in the hood might say: "This Honky is Nuts!"

- - - - - -

As much as I'd like to see the Israeli settlers kicked out of the West Bank, and Palestinian Gazans moved there, I could only justify a temporary US occupation of the land until the Israelis and Palestinians have learned to live in peace, and then Gaza could be turned into a co-dominium (yes, there are lands jointly ruled by two countries) owned by both nations run for the betterment of both.

The Middle East needs a two-state solution to the conflict, but one where both sides can live without fearing the other.  This is possible.  Most people want to get on with their lives, and don't give a damn if "the other" also does well.  Northern Ireland has proven that an intractable problem can have a peaceful resolution - Protestants and Catholics now live in peace.  And, in a recent election, a Sinn Féin member has been elected to run Northern Ireland.  So peace is possible in the Holy Land - as long as outsiders stop stirring things up. 

Sadly, we are scheduled to have a little over 46 months of this clown being in office.  Hopefully, we can recover our nation from the rubble he's turning it in to....

 

Ever have a day that you had no energy to do anything?

 

Today, even waking up felt like an effort.  Although I might have gained consciousness around 9 am, I wasn't out of my bed until 11 am.  And the lethargy lasted throughout the day and into the night.  What caused this, I don't know.  I wasn't feeling sad.  I wasn't feeling upset.  And I wasn't in a bad mood.  I simply had no energy to get out of bed, save to eat and for bio-breaks.

By the time I had any energy, it was after dark, and I found myself with little to eat, save for a couple of frozen meals.  (There's much more to eat in the ice box, but I didn't want to take the time to thaw anything out, or put things on the stove to be cooked.)  If I had showered and dressed, I'd have gone to Burger King for Whopper Wednesday - I was in the mood for burgers, and I didn't even have any frozen White Castle sliders available. 

Late in the afternoon, I sat down on my sofa and fell asleep again, only becoming semi-conscious when a documentary about the construction and first sailing of one of the cruise ships I've been on.  After nuking and eating a couple of these frozen dishes, I became fully awake - around 9 pm.  AARGH!  Could today's lethargy be caused by my blood sugar level?  I think I'll have to start testing this again when I notice some symptoms when waking up.

So what should I do with the rest of my evening?  I think I'll end up folding some laundry, and get ready to go back to bed again.... 

I don't know about you, but it's time to get those "letters of transit" ready.

 

As I write this, the Orange Snowflake's DOJ refused to sign an arrest warrant against Rep. Cory Mills for an alleged assault. It seems like the DOJ is now thoroughly politicized, so that justice is being denied to people based on their alleged assailant's political party.  Justice is now transactional, and far from blind.

What does this mean for the transgender community?

I am lucky to be able to go stealth and leave this country.  I am working on getting a second passport, and possibly a third one as well.  But what about the rest of us?  The minute the economy sours, I expect that the snowflake will try to distract us from the damage he is causing to this country.  Since he has no current justification to round up transgender people, he has started to go after the illegal aliens (I won't call them "undocumented immigrants", no matter how I feel about letting more of them in to the US to do the work native born Americans won't do.) For the most part, his record of expelling these people is far from what he promised before the election.  So, he has a ready made excuse to restrict the freedoms of all Americans to facilitate his crackdown on those at the margins of society.

But what's next?

The snowflake has announced a "Golden Visa" program that would lead to citizenship.  Instead of upper middle class investors plunking down $100k-$200k in fees, plus another $800k-$1m to get a visa, he plans on selling one for $5m.  I guess he's trying to attract the Russian oligarchs he has become indebted to over the years.  

Yet, this is not the worst idea he has had.  He has changed our foreign policy to favor Russia, and refuses to acknowledge that Russia is the aggressor in the Ukraine war.  At least, the French president had the cajones to keep correcting the snowflake as he spouted out lies in a recent presser.  Now, the snowflake is making sure that the reporter pool excludes all who would ask him serious questions.  Hopefully, the foreign press will do the job ours won't do and force him into uncomfortable positions where the truth is spoken and he looks like an ass for defending his lies.

Am I saying that we should run away?  Far from it.  Some of us will have to lay low and hope for the best.  Others will be able to leave this country, and move to places where the rights of transgenders are respected.  Sadly, this will leave a large number of people who are vulnerable to this monster who is in office right now.  

Considering that Elon Musk reportedly told the snowflake that he would not support the snowflake unless Vance was made Vice President, one has to wonder - Who is really in charge of the government and the snowflake's cult?  The fact that the snowflake went after us first makes a lot of sense, considering that Musk has a transgender daughter and no relationship with her.  Could the snowflake merely be a puppet of Musk, as Musk can't ever be president by law?  Inquiring minds want to know.
 

Last night, I had a disagreement with my brother.

 

My brother and I had a stiff disagreement last night, and it got me to thinking that we should sell the rental property we jointly own.  He is overworked, over-tasked, and overwhelmed.  And all I was asking him to do was to take care of the financials for the property, so that I can get my taxes done by April 15th.  Today, he called to apologize for getting upset, and I gracefully accepted the apology.  (I won't tell him that he triggered my emotional walls to go up and prepare for the absolute worst to happen.)

- - - - - - 

We are in the process of getting the house ready for another rental.  Recently, we were told that we need a new hot water installed.  This will cost about $3,000 or so, excluding permits. When the permits were filed for, we encountered another problem - our dad had converted the house from oil to gas heat.  But the paperwork wasn't marked as complete in the town offices, and we have more headaches because of things that happened years ago.

 

The work was done, but it appears that the final inspection wasn't taken care of.  So, my brother is contacting the plumbing firm that took care of the boiler install years ago, and we hope to get this resolved without spending too much money.  Once this is done, the new permit for the hot water heater could be issued, and we could finally be done with some of the work that's needed for the house.

- - - - - -

Looking at work we need to take care of , I feel that we need to replace windows in the basement, followed by installing a half-bath in the basement.  This way, we can up the rent and recover what we put into the house this year.

Right now, I have the money in my bank accounts to fund the work on my own if needed.  But that's not how things work.  My brother has to find ways of financing his home maintenance as well as financing his share of this house's maintenance.  This makes me glad that I only have to worry about my co-op board responsibilities, leaving general financing issues to a party of others.

I'm glad that I never bought a townhouse or detached home....

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, it's too much of a bother to present as Marian (a short post)

 

Yesterday, we spent some time straightening out the apartment.  One of the things i did was to find a "new" blanket in my cedar chest and put it on my bed, along with a "new" mattress pad.  This meant that I'll have to restock with new ones later on - especially when the "new" blanket has been sitting in the chest for years, and is suffering from a form of dry rot (found this morning).

But this is not what I intended to talk about today....

I wasn't in the mood to spend the time to shave and apply makeup just to go to Walmart.  If I were a cisgender female, this wouldn't be an issue for me.  However, I am trans, and do not look that much like a female without makeup.  So, I figured it was time for Mario to make an appearance.

Walmart is only 15 minutes from my place.  Both RQS and I were able to get showered and dressed quickly, so that we could make it to Walmart and to the local grocery store before 7:30 pm.  (We were thinking of doing some laundry when the machines weren't busy.)  I was glad not to make myself up, as I would have hated to clean off the makeup after 2 hours out of the house.

Did we get around to doing laundry?  No.  But we did get out of the house for a couple of hours.

My paperwork is almost ready

 

As I've mentioned before, I am in the process of getting a second passport.  It's not just because I want to reconnect with the nation of my grandmother's birth, but it's also due to politics in the USA.

- - - - - - 

I've said many times that the Orange Snowflake is a threat to us all.  First, he has targeted transgenders.  Now, he's going after many of the Federal workers which help keep this nation running smoothly.  As I like to describe it, he's on his 2025 revenge tour for his loss in 2020.  He is not as popular as he once was, and the polling over the past few weeks shows a precipitous drop in public approval.  

So what does this mean?

If history is my guide, he will use political persecution as a means of distracting the public from the greater evil he is trying to hide.  As for me, I intend to have an exit plan, just in case things get much worse than they are now.

Right now, I am following this guide from one of the nations that I qualify for overseas birth citizenship:

Documents relating to the applicant (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

• Completed, signed and witnessed application form (see list of witnesses at 1 above)
• Original civil birth certificate (showing parental details)
• Original civil marriage certificate (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)
• Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by application form witness
• 2 separate original proofs of address
• 4 colour photographs (2 of which to be witnessed) – do not attach these to the application form
• Documents relating to the xxxxx Citizen parent (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

Original civil birth certificate of xxxxx Citizen parent (showing parental details)

• Original civil marriage certificate of xxxxx Citizen parent (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)
• Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers license, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by a professional from the list of witnesses OR original civil death certificate (if applicable)
• Documents relating to the grandparent born in xxxxx (unless stated, originals must be submitted):

Original civil birth certificate of xxxxx born grandparent (showing parental details)

Original civil marriage certificate of xxxxx born grandparent (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)

Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by a professional from the list of witnesses

OR

Original civil death certificate (if applicable)

 

All I need to do right now is get a copy of my grandmother's death certificate, get my proofs of address, pay my application fee, get the application form notarized, and send it in.   Right now, they are processing applications sent in during November.  So if all goes right, I'll be sending in my paperwork in March and getting my second passport around my birthday.  It won't be as dramatic as getting the Letters of Transit in the movie, Casablanca.  But it will have just as good a result for me, if things go very sour here....

I'm dying to ask this person a question

 

No, I am not talking about asking this character any questions.   He is the one making war against us transgender people.  However, I know someone who supported him once, and I would love to find out how she's doing, and what this war means to her....

- - - - - -

A while back, I met this acquaintance in Brooklyn.  Although we've met several times before, this was the first time in years that I've been to Downtown Brooklyn.  It was cold (like today) and it was dark.  But it was before the 2024 election, and this person was a supporter of the Orange Snowflake - even though she is a post-op trans-woman.

 

Neither of us had problems being able to talk with someone with different views.  Yet, I always wondered what would happen to trans folk, if the Snowflake was elected - especially, knowing the radical Christianist Nationalists he owes big time for their votes.  Within a few days of the election, we had our answer - the Snowflake has tried to erase transgenders from society, even having the gall to take the T off of the LGBT at Stonewall National Historic Site.

I do not know in which state my acquaintance was born, but I have a strong feeling that it will be hard for her to renew her passport when the time comes.  How will she feel that she is under attack from the very man she supported for president?  Will this be the first of many things that could be denied her because she is caught in the middle of a culture war?

Sooner or later, I will reach out to her and try to get together.  Right now, I sent a text message saying hello.  It's hard to hate people without reason, and most GOP'ers have a sense of ethics.  Sadly, as 1930's history has proven, it is easy for some people to develop a cult and cause people to ignore their own inner compasses for the sake of group loyalty and out of fear of being persecuted.

How would you feel in her size-13W shoes?

How do you talk to a friend named Maria....

 

I've known my friend Maria for almost as long as I've lived in my apartment.  We worked together near the beginning of our careers, and we've kept in contact with each other through the loss of my wife, her divorce, and the loss of her second husband.  Neither of us has been available when the other has been free, and that's a plus for a good friendship.  I'm probably the only person who can say that she slept in my bed every night for several months, and there was nothing immoral about it.  (I lent her a folding cot with thick mattress, as her ex-husband stole all of the bedroom furniture in the house.  My 'bed' was over 35 miles away when she slept in it.)

Maria knows me both as Mario and as Marian, and is comfortable with me in both presentations.  She leans to the right politically, while I lean to the left.  And yet, she finds what is going on in DC these days very disturbing.  So, when I started discussing politics, she didn't challenge me on the facts - she knew that the Orange Snowflake is up to no good.

The real reason for us getting together was to have lunch - we haven't been able to do so in months.  The secondary reason was to have some paperwork notarized.  Over lunch, I found out that her two grand-kids are living at home again, and that the eldest has already entered puberty.  (If I ever go through that experience again, it will be because of estrogen, not testosterone, like my first puberty.  But I digress.)  The younger of the two grand-kids is still cute.  I can only imagine what it will be like when this child enters puberty.  As you can guess, when a grandmother is raising her grandchildren, it takes a lot of energy out of a person, leaving little left for her volunteer work and for her social life.

Lunch lasted over 2 hours, and at the end, she notarized some of the documents I'll need to apply for my second passport.  And then, we left Cold Spring to go our separate ways....

- - - - - -

I had no energy when I got home, and it was all I could to so that 2 loads of laundry could get done.  By the time it was done, I had decided to blow off game night for a change.  I never do this.  But with RQS coming up tomorrow, I wanted to be ready for her arrival in the afternoon.

Later in the evening, RQS and I got into a long discussion about my brother, the family homestead, and interactions with  both friends and family.  I mentioned my friend Nan from the AOL Widows/Widowers chat room (long disbanded) and a wish to visit her in the "North Country"  RQS was up for it (she wanted some new photo opportunities), so I sent a DM to Nan to see if it would be OK.  Hopefully, she will be up for visitors, as I know that people in their 80's don't have a lot of life in front of them....

Waiting for a washer/dryer set.

 

This was the day I dreaded - a morning rush to get RQS to her pottery class, followed by a lot of waiting in a "cold" house for a washer and dryer to be delivered and installed.

- - - - - -

RQS and I set our alarms to get us up and moving at the ungodly hour (for us) of 8 am.  I was the first one in the shower, and I was ready to go out by 9 am.  However, we didn't need to be at the pottery studio until 10 am.  So that gave us 30 minutes to kill.

I was glad to be able to drive RQS to the studio - I'd have never found it on my own without Google Maps.  But I did take the slow route to Long Island afterwards, as I had a lot of time to kill.  When I arrived in my old neighborhood, I started shopping for a doorbell. Although I saw one in the local hardware store, the price wasn't as good as I wanted for an inexpensive piece of Chinese crap.  (I wanted something inexpensive, but didn't have a cheap look or feel to it.)  So, I'll bring up the idea with my brother that we should buy something a little bit better when the place is ready to be rented out.

Arriving at the old homestead at 11:30, I set things up and began my wait.  This was not going to be a day where being out as Marian would be practical, especially with the possibility that my brother may stop by if installation runs late.  Fortunately, we had a table and chair available for me, and I proceeded to make myself at home for a while.

 

The delivery truck came a little bit before 2 pm, and then the "fun" began.  It was interesting to see how 2 people could "comfortably" carry a washer and a dryer up and down steps without a hand truck, then install the appliances in the basement.  Within 30 minutes, everything was set up, and I was ready to go home.

Next, I'll have to find some time to be around when the hot water heater is installed....

I didn't originally plan to be at RQS's place today (a short post)

 

Normally, I might try to put more effort into a topic for a post.  Today is very different.  We have a washer/dryer set being delivered to the family homestead, and I have to be around the house tomorrow waiting for the delivery.  Given that I didn't want to risk being late for the delivery, I decided to drive RQS home and stay at her place for the night.

- - - - - -

I would usually drop RQS off at the station on Mondays, and I would have the rest of the week to myself.  Not this week.  I packed up minimal supplies (my CPAP machine, a change of clothes, and the computer I'm writing this post on) and drove to RQS's place.  We arrived around 2 pm, and I easily found a spot within eyesight of her building's front door.

Given the frigid weather outside, neither of us wanted to go out for dinner.  So, it was Chinese delivery.  What Chippies are to the UK, "Chinese" joints are to the US - ubiquitous in almost every town.  None of them serve the exact same food, as their offerings are not as standardized as a McDonald's.  But they will serve a typical set of food selections that will fill you up for at least 59 minutes.  (As the old canard goes: Eat Chinese food, and in 60 minutes, you'll be hungry again.)

For the most part, it was a nothing-burger of a day.  Tomorrow, on the other hand, will be a rush, followed up by a lot of waiting.

President's Day - a look back

 

In the picture above, we could literally look up to images of four great presidents carved into a mountain.  All of these men had major flaws.  Yet, we consider all of them important enough to commemorate in stone - something none of them would have asked for or wanted.  

Today, we have a malignant narcissist in the office of President.  Every chance he gets, he attends a sporting event for a photo-op, where he now gets booed more than he gets cheered.  At the Super Bowl, his minions arranged for an Air Force flyover.  One catch - the game was being held in a domed stadium. At the Daytona 500, he had the nerve to have "The Beast" do a lap around the course.  At least, Nascar fans skew more to the right, and he got some cheers.  I expect that his handlers will fine tune where he makes his next appearances, as they don't want to be subject to his anger if he realizes that he is not loved by all Americans.

What I find galling is that the Orange Snowflake's minions are trying to put him into the pantheon of great presidents.  One congresscritter has proposed making his birthday a national holiday.  None of the presidents on Mount Rushmore would have had the nerve to ask for that.  Even worse, another MAGA personality has suggested carving his face next to the other four presidents.  Although neither of these offensive things are likely to happen, it's galling that people would even propose this while the man is alive - before history has has a generation to judge this man's accomplishments.

The other day, a friend posted something to Facebook.  A MAGA troll responded to her with misinformation, and I had to get involved.  The troll cited the "Twittersphere" as a source for his "information" for his reply. He supplied me with a government posting taken out of context, and I replied with the context of that government posting.  He never said what could cause him to change his mind about the leader of his cult - he had drunk the Kool-Aid, and is beyond rescue.

I feel sad that America has come to this.  Hopefully, we'll see a change for the better soon. 

Weekends are good for resting

 

When RQS and I are together, we tend to relax more fully than usual.  I find that when I sleep when she's around, I end up noticing that I dream more often than not.  In short, I am getting the REM sleep that I need to recharge my batteries.  RQS seems to find it the same way when she's with me, as she seems to have vivid dreams when I'm with her.

Most of the time, we don't bother getting up until 11:00 am or later.  For the most part, it's because we have nothing pressing to do.  Yet, we tend to get everything done that needs doing.  For example, RQS arrived earlier than expected this past Thursday, and I didn't have the time to clean up enough before her arrival.  So, this is what we did on Saturday for a couple of hours - and it shows.  My dining table is less filled with clutter than it has been in years.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and neither of us got moving until the morning was almost over.  But today, we lazed around until late afternoon, then went out for pizza.  Due to the recent weather, I decided to present as Mario today and take RQS out for dinner.  The drive to Pizza and Brew in Greenburgh was like driving through pea soup - there was almost no visibility, and RQS was concerned about driving conditions for the return trip.  The restaurant was empty when we arrived, and we had enough pizza for leftovers tomorrow.

Luckily, the return home was much easier than the drive to the restaurant.  The heavy fog had turned into rain, and we had greater visibility when we left the restaurant.  Both of us were glad, as I didn't want to deal with the fog.  On the way home, my brother called and talked about the washer/dryer installation scheduled for later in the week.  He was apologetic for the screwed up date, but I told him that I rescheduled lunch with my friend, "short Vicki".  (Vicki and I are tentatively rescheduled for later in the week.)

Soon enough, we were in for the night.  Assuming all goes right, tomorrow will be a day out as Marian.

Valentine's Day has come and gone.

The one reason RQS came up to my place this weekend was that I had made reservations at Hudson House Inn and Restaurant for a nice romantic dinner. This gave me the opportunity to finally wear a pretty dress from Lane Bryant that has been hanging on my door for several months. (My dress is in the same style as in the above photo, but in a nice violet color.)

If you recall, our original plans for Thanksgiving dinner were fouled up by RQS's hospital stay.  This time, we made sure that no problems would get in the way of a romantic dinner.  RQS came up the day before, and we made sure to have enough time to make it to Cold Spring with time to spare.

We made it to the restaurant on time, and proceeded to have a wonderful dinner starting with crab cakes, salmon with crab meat stuffing, and finished with an apple tart.  Both of us enjoyed people-watching there, as some people dressed to the nines for the evening, and others were very casual.  We were somewhere in the middle with our dresses, wearing outfits which would fit in a dressy environment, but could be dressed down as needed for other environments.

At home, we exchanged Valentine's day gifts.  I was very lucky that RQS's gift was delivered on time, as I didn't want to be empty handed when she gave me my gift.  It was a nice day, and a good start to the weekend.

It's amazing how many places a single credit card is used

 

A year and a half ago, I had my wallet stolen, and had to get replacements for all the cards I had in it.  This wasn't as much of a problem as it seemed, as I was lucky to have done everything right.  However, another card of mine was affected in a data breach, and I found that one of my auto-debits wouldn't work as expected.  Knowing that this would cause me a problem if I didn't resolve it quickly, I decided to get things fixed today, with a little more than a week to go until the next auto-debit.

- - - - - -

Last June, I signed up for a deal with Princess Promotions  where I would get "concierge service", a $3000 credit on my next cruise, $350 in hotel credits, and a 5 night premium hotel stay.  One problem.  This deal is not from Princess Cruises, but a sub par online travel agency using Princess' name and goodwill.  Given that I could get better deals for hotel stays from booking.com or orbitz.com, I realized that this deal wasn't so great and accepted that I would likely lose $500 in the deal.  What I didn't plan on is the credit card I used for payments would get compromised, and a new card number issued just before my last cruise.

Given that the next payment would be coming due soon, I tried to log on to see how I could change my payment method.  And no option was provided.  So now, I had to make a phone call to get this fixed, and I went through a gauntlet to get this done.  If it weren't for the fact that we were getting close to final payment date for my Alaska cruise, I would not have worried so much.  But now, this task is done, and I hope done properly.  Otherwise, I'll have to go through another gauntlet to get things fixed properly so that we can go on our cruise later this year.

- - - - - -

When the data breach occurred and my card got compromised, I had it connected to Uber, Lyft, Curb, EZ-Pass, OMNY, Metrocard, and other services.  I still don't have a complete list yet, but I'll stumble into them as new charges are made by these services.

It could be much worse....

I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

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Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgenders?

 

Why are some people afraid and repulsed by Transgender folk?

 

The above question is something that has been on my mind as of late.  Could it be religion?  Could it be a lack of a strong definition of self identity?  Could it be fear of what others might think of us and do to us?  There are so many reasons, but I think it goes back to the urge to reproduce.

Reproduction is a major effort for most species.  In primate species, the male has it easy - impregnate the female and the absolute need for his existence has ended.  However for the female, her body undergoes changes to accommodate the dependent life within her and eventually expels that life.  But the female's role is not over, as she usually has to take care of her offspring until they are ready to reproduce themselves. In our species, we have evolved to have our males contribute to the effort of raising our offspring, providing an evolutionary protection the premature loss of a parent. (This will vary between cultures.)  I'll admit that this is an oversimplification of something all of us know all too well.  But I think it's the fear of wasting our chances to reproduce that is the root of the fear of transgender people.

The fear of transgenders comes from something people fear: we can break out of virtually all socially assigned roles if we want.  Gender is the first thing people ask about when a baby is born.  A humorous example of this is a joke from the movie Addams Family Values:

Family Members: "What is it?"

Gomez Addams: "It's an Addams!"

The beauty of this line is that the answer is perfectly correct.  But it is not what the questioner wanted to know.  

I believe that sexual preference, sexual identity, and external sexual characteristics are all forms of intersex conditions that are baked into the person while in the womb.  "Normally," the vast majority of people are born as, identify as, and prefer the genders which society would assign at birth.  Statistics show that the lesbian and gay population may be somewhere between 3%-5% of the population. Transgender adults are about 0.5% of the population, and the rest of intersex people are about 0.05% of the population.  Given that most people never have their genes analyzed, they never know whether they are among those who have male external genitalia but have XX chromosomes, or among those who have female genitalia but have XY chromosomes.  Let's not get into all of the potential intersex conditions here.  Simply put, science conflicts with cultural norms, and we're in the middle of a culture war against our will.

The recent edict from the Orange Snowflake looks to deny our existence.  Hopefully, most of my transgender readers have been able to file paperwork for federal government IDs long before the snowflake shut things down for most of us. But this is not just a problem that affects transgender people.  For example, I knew a cisgender female who was mistakenly identified as a male on a Tennessee driver's license.  If she had to fix this problem today, the snowflake's edict would make this impossible.

But what should one do if one is young and pre-op transgender?  My first recommendation would only work if one lived in a state which allows gender markers to be changed AND allows for amended birth certificates.  DO NOT GET FEDERAL ID UNTIL YOU HAVE CHANGED GENDER MARKERS ON ALL STATE IDS ON FILE.  For example, If you live in California, do not travel on aircraft, or travel outside the US until you have your gender marker updated on all documents you may need to file with the Feds.  If this can't be done in your state, get your name changed to one acceptable for males and females, then dress and present androgynously when applying for federal id. This way, you will likely be ignored (as you would want) when going through TSA checkpoints. But most important of all - don't be flashy.  Just blend in as much as possible until this reign of terror is over.

There is too much information on me that is available to the public.  Therefore, I can't go into hiding.  Instead, I can go stealth on my way out of the country.  Others don't have it this lucky, and might as well lead protests as long is prudent.  Remember, our borders will be protected against intrusions, and not against people leaving - for now.   

What happens when you can't leave for whatever reason?  What can you do?  As I see it, one will need to migrate to areas of the country where one can blend in with a crowd.  People in Northeastern and West Coast large cities tend to be more tolerant of people of different styles, as these regions have been hot spots for immigration for generations.  They have attracted the risk takers, people who are willing to live completely different lives than their pasts would ordain for them.  Yet, one will always need to be on the lookout for others who would cause them harm.  

I can't understand the hatred of transgenders anymore, as I have learned to accept people who are very different than I am as long as we both interact with each other respectfully and with compassion.  The other day, I heard Warren Buffett tell a story about people who survived the Holocaust.  He noted that his judgement of people is based on whether they would hide someone from being scooped up in a pogrom and be sent to their deaths.  A truly wealthy person would have many friends who would help him/her hide from danger.  Build up those friendships now, as you may need them in the future.

 

Now, we have proof that checks and balances no longer apply

 

This should be a short post.  As I write this, it is 3 weeks into the reign of the Orange Snowflake, and no one is stopping him.  If his party wouldn't do it, one might think that he'd listen to the courts.  But, as John Belushi might say: 

But Noooooooo!

This president is now ignoring the courts.  One can't say that this wasn't expected.  But not so soon.  The guardrails are off, and this country is heading into 4+ years of hell.  I can't say if Americans will rise up in revolt.  But I can say that ALL law abiding Americans should exercise their 2nd Amendment rights and form a "well regulated militia" (as mentioned in our constitution.  One never knows when one might need to use the powers of that right.

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Years ago, there was an uprising in the Warsaw ghetto.  Although it was short lived, and futile in one sense, the ghetto Jews kept the Nazis at bay for a good amount of time.  They practiced guerrilla warfare on their own turf.  This is the reason our founding fathers may have been thinking of when they wrote this amendment to our constitution - they didn't trust the government to act within the law, as they has just overthrown the rule of a malignant British despot.

Am I afraid?  Yes.  I never believed that our country could sit back and let someone like this take over. Sadly, we have history to tell us what could happen.  I hope that the "Pink Pistols" get a lot of new members soon, as I expect the LGB community will be next in the snowflake's crosshairs.

A snowy weekend - and I left my car at home.

 

I had planned to be with RQS this weekend, but this put me at risk of getting fined by my co-op.  By the time I would get home, I expected to clear off 7" of snow from my car and possibly get dinged with a fine from my co-op.

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Friday started with laundry - 3 loads of it.  By the time I was packed, out the door, and on my way to RQS's place, it was 2-3 hours later than expected.  I didn't make it to RQS's place until 7:30 pm.  Luckily, she had already started to cook dinner when I left the subway and transferred to the bus to her house. The rest of the evening wasn't that exciting.  We fell into our usual routine and watched a couple of movies before felling asleep.

Saturday came, and with it, the exterminator.  Each month, the exterminator is scheduled to take care of RQS's building, and today was the day.  Once his visit was over, it was off to the library to drop off some books, and then to one of our go-to restaurants for a bite to eat.  They were about to close, so we decided to get this food to-go and eat it at home.

Around 7 pm, the snow started to fall and I knew we were in for the night.  Although we weren't planning on doing anything this evening, it made me feel a little worried - if I didn't get home early enough on Sunday, I could have some problems with my co-op.  As they say, "the die is cast", and I would deal with things after getting home.

Sunday came, and there was less snow on the ground than expected.  Even with this, I figured that I should leave RQS's place a bit early, so that I could shovel out my car in daylight and move it back into my assigned spot.  This way, the co-op has less of an opportunity to ding me for not getting my car into the street so that the driveways could be cleared.  I left RQS around 1 pm, and made it to Grand Central in the nick of time to make the 1:50 train to Croton.  By 3:00 pm, I was home, and had a chance to finish this post before shoveling some snow....

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On other matters....

It looks like the Orange Snowflake is trying to put the LGBTIQ community back in the closet.  (Not that we didn't know this already.)  We've seen him give executive orders to (fr now) make it impossible to get a gender marker changed on federal documents, as well as erasing any statistics that refer to LGBTIQ's from federal websites.  This is the first step among many in which he intends to hurt us.

Why do I mention this?

Stalin made sure that no statistics were kept for his reign of terror.  It is estimated that 28 million people lost their lives in the gulags while he was in power.  We may not be able to stop the Snowflake from deleting our history for now.  But we can throw a wrench into his plans in regard to another at risk group - the illegal immigrants.  How, you may ask?  Get congress to act by requiring that accurate statistics be kept.  The public has a right to know how much the Snowflake's removal efforts are costing, as well as being able to know how many illegals of each category are being removed.  The more data we have, the more tools we can have to force congress to act when the time is right.

Right now, GOP members of the house and senate are afraid of losing power.  What they don't know is by surrendering their chambers' powers to the Snowflake and the SA Nazi (Musk), they are surrendering their own power and won't get it back.  We've seen this happen before.  But now, we can take a different path of activism.  Lawsuits can be filed in friendly federal courts, and slow down the march to tyranny.  I suggest that everyone buy copies of On Tyranny, and How Democracies Die to understand what is going on, and how we can cause the Snowflake some grief.