Brunch with the Fun Time Friends

 

 

There were two things on the docket for today: 

• Brunch with the FTF's in Connecticut
• Dinner and a Concert in Tarrytown with Vicki
  

Both of them would have me attending as Marian.  Yet, if I had my druthers on this dreary day, I'd have stayed at home and in bed.

- - - - - 

Although I was awake before the alarms rang, I still needed them to get moving.  In a rush, I ended up putting on my makeup outside my normal sequence. And this delayed my departure, as I had do triple check that my presentation was on target.  When one has a masculine body, one has to make sure that as many signs of masculinity have been disguised, and that as many signs of femininity are displayed. For the most part, I think I do tolerably well as presenting as a large size woman.

After an hour and a quarter of driving in the rain, I made it to the meetup and had a nice brunch.  The seafood pot pie was large, and well worth the price that the restaurant charged.  However, I had two meals out scheduled for the day, and should have chosen the salad for the first meal.  But I didn't know this at the time.

When the meal was over, I drove home, talking to a new woman from OK Cupid.  She's a widow, and located on Long Island.  Given our mutual schedules, we probably won't be seeing each other until the second week of January.

- - - - - -

Around 5:30, Vicki came over, and we drove to Tarrytown for dinner, then went to the Music Hall (a theater) around the corner to see K.T.Turnstall and Martin Sexton perform.  When we got to the theater, we were directed to a pair of orchestra level seats that Vicki found unacceptable - she ordered a pair of seats on the aisle, not in the middle of the row. When people were directed to our seats, we knew we had a problem.  So we ended up (after a discussion) being told that our seats were on the balcony level.  And again, the seats were not what Vicki thought we were getting. So, again, it was a trek to find someone who could help us.  This time, our seats were exchanged for two seats in the orchestra section, closer to the stage than before. But we had the aisle seats that Vicki wanted.

We both enjoyed the concert.  Yet, we were both glad when it ended - it was a long day for both of us. So, I dropped her off at her car, and I did the most feminine thing I could think of - take off my bra, and get into something comfortable....

 

 

 

Meanderings

I don't own this dress anymore.  When I bought it, I thought it would look nice on me.  However, my style has changed a lot since then, and I no longer shop just for things that fit me.  Instead, I try to choose garments that both fit well and make me look pretty.

Why do I mention this?

My place was never as bad as it is now while I was seeing my last serious girlfriend.  I've more than documented the disastrous end to that relationship and the loss of two friendships when I could have used them most.  So I won't go into talk about the past, save that I miss having company now and then.  Right now, I have 5 large bags of clothes in my living room which have to go to charity.  And I want to do this (and more) before I have a woman come to this apartment.  It's been over 2 years since I've had a guest here, and I'd like to make it presentable for someone new - preferably before New Year..

Today, I talked to TCL on my way home and I was reminded about why a relationship never clicked between the two of us.  One might say that she is too smart for her own good.  But that alone wouldn't be an issue.  Instead, she is both too judgemental and wanting too much to tell others about what she thinks is the correct way to do things. For example, I mentioned  the issue with Amazon's last mile delivery, and she said that I should have dropped the mis-delivered packages off at the correct apartments. Since I was in a rush, I alerted one of the neighbors that her package was mis-delivered, and asked her to pick up the packages bound for her doorway.  She did not do that.  She was focusing on what she would have done, and not my telling of the story.  And that can be off-putting when one has to deal with it every day.

Given everything, I'm leery of buying anything from Amazon during this holiday season.  Yet, I just had two packages come that I ordered two days ago - each from different companies.  The first was a bigger box that contacted 3 packages of disposable makeup wedges.  The other contained two rolls of clear medical adhesive tape.  Both these things are in short supply at Walmart, Target, and local drug stores. But I could get them through Amazon.  And I will have a big enough supply before I'm on my cruise without worrying whether the brick and mortar stores will restock them in time for the cruise.  (I can still remember when Walmart had no house brand exfoliating makeup remover wipes in their stores, and going to buy out the last of the remaining stock in a nearby store.)  

There's a part of me that wishes there was a way to reconcile with the former cruise partner (FCP).  Yet there's another part that doesn't want to deal with her anymore.  We once had a "sail away" inside cabin (or ocean view cabin) which was directly below a lounge area.  She couldn't deal with the bands making music above our cabin until 11:00-11:30 pm, preventing her from relaxing.  So she hectored "hotel staff" on the ship until she got a satisfactory substitute - a balcony cabin.  I'd have accepted the original room, as we let the cruise line pick the room before sailing and they delivered on their side of the contract.  Although we got a nicer room, I didn't like how we got it.  And this would bother me if I had to deal with her again in any close relationship.  Sometimes, a person has to accept a "no" on minor things, so that s/he can demand a 'yes" on the important ones.

In short, I'm finding that I hate pushy people.  I don't like being pushed around, and will push back hard when pushed.  Sometimes, being pushy is appropriate for the matter at hand.  But when someone is too pushy for too long, I lose my tolerance for that person.  So far, TCL knows that limit with me.

 

Amazon Delivery. It can suck big time!

Today, I came home to a pile of packages in front of my doorway's indoor mailboxes.  One problem.  ALL of these packages were delivered to the wrong place.  ALL of these packages should have been delivered to the next doorway.  Amazon's captive last mile delivery service screwed up big time!  

- - - - - - 

Sadly, almost every business requiring home delivery uses last mile delivery services.  UPS, FedEx, and USPS all tend to give decent service.  (I have my issues with UPS, due to a screwed up delivery they made several years ago involving a new cell phone.)  However, when firms use contractors such as LaserShip and CDL Last Mile, that's when quality goes to hell.  And that's what has happened with Amazon and its captive last mile shipping companies.

Years ago, I used to get delivery of precooked meals from Freshly.  Once each week, I would expect to receive an insulated package containing 6 meals, which I would then eat during the week.  However, Freshly lost money having me for a customer, as they had to give me refunds for improperly delivered packages.  Out of 13 deliveries, only 4 of them were close to being delivered according to the shipping instructions on the package.  Half of these packages were delivered to the wrong doorway, and placed in front of the wrong apartment.  So, I dropped Freshly, and started looking for pre-made meals at the local supermarket.  I preferred Freshly's quality. Yet, if I couldn't count on acceptable deliveries, it wasn't worth my time to call in for refunds on what seemed like a weekly basis.

A couple of weeks ago, a neighbor's insulin shipment was delivered to my door.  The person making the delivery didn't care which group of 6 apartments he dropped the box at.  Instead, he made the package drop, and said "to hell with it."  Luckily, I spotted the problem, and a neighbor took care of delivering the box to its intended recipient (with an apology for accidental opening).  What would have happened if this box was left in front of an apartment that was vacant (which happened to one of my Freshly shipments)?  This woman would have been without an essential medication.  This is inexcusable!

When I tried to contact Amazon, I reached a chatbot - which couldn't understand that I was complaining about someone else's products being delivered to me.  Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to have Amazon call me.  This is just as well, as I want to get this fellow fired.  He doesn't deserve a job if he can't get a simple delivery straight.  

 

PS: A lot of people are having problems due to last mile delivery services.  I'd rather pay for shipping and know I'm going to get my goods delivered correctly.  Too bad that I'm in the minority in this country....

 

I didn't have much to say today....

 

My late wife and I loved going to this joint on our two trips (together) to the West coast.  On all my trips to the region (save one), I made an effort to stop by this place for some of the freshest seafood I could get.  Even though it has changed hands since I was last out there, I expect that the new owners will treat the place with the respect it deserves, so that it can attract customers for many years to come.

So why do I open up about a restaurant a continent away from where I live?  The answer to that is simple.  I'm thinking of making a future Hawaii cruise an open jaw trip at both ends.  Instead of flying to Hawaii from New York (and returning to New York after the cruise), I'm thinking of flying to LA to see my Uncle, then flying to Hawaii for the cruise.  After the cruise, I would like to fly to San Francisco and visit some of the places my wife and I enjoyed when we were in the Bay area.  From there, I would then fly home to New York after a San Francisco stopover.  (Or course, I could fly to San Francisco first, then return home from LA.)

Considering that my uncle is 87 years old, I'm not sure if I should put off a trip to LA next year.  But I certainly don't want to let him know about Marian.  Why put him under any additional stress?  Yet, I want to be able to afford that Hawaii cruise.  So, I'm going to need to make a hard decision soon....

Can you spot the "Nina" in this picture?

 

Many of my friends know I was a fan of the late Al Hirschfield's line drawings.  His style was unique, and he was known for hiding the name of his daughter (Nina) in most of the drawings that he produced.  One of my dreams was to have three drawings done by him: (1) A caricature of me in both male and female presentations, (2) a caricature of Groucho, Harpo, and Chico Marx, and (3) a variant on the subject of this drawing.

I found it interesting that the US Air Force used his drawings to help pilots develop their skills of rapid pattern recognition using Hirschfield's drawings. But  the world is stranger than we know....

- - - - - -

Tonight, we had a meeting of our co-op board, and I found out that one of our new members may not be up to the task.  He was having problems with something as simple as dealing with an email attachment. It looks like I'll be needing to do his job, as he didn't seem to get that to take notes for a meeting, one has to know what NOT to report.  In my case, I know how to keep things short and sweet, and when needed, leave out the details of what was discussed.

I have to be careful.  It is important that I am seen as contributing to our mutual goals.  However, I don't want to get roped into running the co-op as its next president.  If we're lucky, one of the two new members will be ready to take on that mantle.  If not, I'll still let my presence on the board expire, by not running for another term.  It's not worth the effort for me to deal with the headaches that our co-op's president has to deal with....

PS: Did you spot the "Nina" in the drawing? 
       If not, look very carefully.  Fortunately, there is only ONE "Nina" to find.
       Please let me know if you find her or not.....

Backorder, Backorder, Backorder...

 

I figured that I'd post something pretty instead of another meaningless caricature of myself.  Instead I figured that my readers would like to see a work of Chihuly glass. 

And now, to today's post....

Over the past year, I've found that there are a lot of problems with keeping goods available when needed and/or desired. Most of these problems are related to logistics issues triggered by the pandemic.  For example, the control units for my air conditioners were likely delayed, as parts they needed had to come from Asia, where people were kept from working due to Covid-19 infections..  Clothing I've ordered has taken longer than usual to be delivered, as warehouses did not have enough workers to process incoming orders.  And now, makeup I've ordered has been back-ordered, as the company I usually buy from didn't have enough units in stock to fill my order.  Thankfully, I try to maintain an adequate inventory at home, so that I can withstand disruptions like those I've been experiencing.

Last week, I ordered 4 units of beard cover, and 4 units of contouring makeup.  Unfortunately,3 units of the contouring makeup is back-ordered and should be delivered at some future date.  I'm hoping that I receive this makeup before I go on vacation.  If not, I'll have to ask my next door neighbor to intercept the package if delivered while I'm away.

- - - - - -

Things could be much worse for me.  I could need to buy a car.  Right now, prices are 10%-20% above MSRP for most cars.  I don't want to justify that price unless I need to do so.  Why are prices this high? Almost ALL of the major carmakers decided to overly rely on "Just In Time" (JIT) supply chains.  They made the big mistake of not having enough inventory of key items to get them through a supply chain disruption.

As much as we're seeing prices spike right now,I expect this will be a short term issue.  Supply will eventually catch up with demand, and prices will become rational again.  Until that date, expect to spend more for fewer available essential goods - including makeup!

 

The Subway and the Mattress

 

Today was a day I almost wasted.  Like yesterday, I didn't have much energy.  Unlike yesterday, I knew that I had to get out of the apartment to do some shopping for the week.  However, with that as an excuse, I was motivated to get up to test a mattress I'm thinking of buying.

- - - - - -

Normally, I'd take Metro North into NYC, then take a bus (or subway) to the area of the mattress store and hoof it from there.  However, I had other transit plans for the day. Since I knew I'd have problems with an out of date Metrocard (see above), I decided to go to the subway station nearest Ex-GF-M's house and see if I could get help transferring the balance from one card to a new one.  The older card (expiring during the worse of the pandemic) has to be mailed into the MTA for a refund.  But at least, I should get some money back.  The newer card hadn't yet expired, so I exchanged it for a new card and added some money to it.

Once on the subway, I knew that it would be a 1 hour trip into midtown.  Luckily, the saatva.com studio was only a short walk away.  After trying out their "HD" mattress for size (it's designed for heavy folk like me), I was close to making the decision to buy the mattress then and there.  But I figure that I can wait until tomorrow, and be sure that I'm doing the right thing.

Next, I went home, buying some lunches for the coming week.  I decided to cancel a few meetup RSVPs, so that I can spend more time at home - and maybe clean up my apartment with some of the time I freed up.

Vaccination Passports

 

Above is a typical CDC Covid-19 vaccination blank.  For many, the card may be the only record they may have of being vaccinated against the virus, and many people guard this card with their lives - and for good reason.  In places like New York City, one must show proof of vaccination in order to enter public spaces such as museums, stadiums, restaurants and more.  It is an effective "Get out of Jail free card" for people like me, as it allows most of us to go about our lives almost as if nothing has happened.

Early in the history of Covid-19 Vaccines, some state governments recognized the need for a vaccine passport that a person could use his/her cellphone to display, allowing the person to safely leave the CDC card at home.  New York was one of those states with its Excelsior Plus App.  Sadly, due to politics, our Federal government stated that there would be no need for a National vaccine passport.  As a result, Americans may be forced to bring the CDC card with them when traveling overseas, instead of showing the results of an internationally recognized app on their phones.

For someone who was at "Ground Zero" for the pandemic in the USA, I find it appalling that the governors in some states have fought to ban businesses from requiring people be vaccinated to enter their property or use their services. This year, NCL has had to sue the governor of Florida to nullify its requirement that everyone on their ships be vaccinated.  NCL sees the requirement as a net positive, as it realizes that people will want to know they are at minimal risk of being infected on the cruise - it can't afford another 500 day shutdown due to another Covid-19 outbreak.  The governor of Florida, on the other hand, wants the votes of the anti-vaxxers, and it willing to do whatever it takes to get what may be the deciding votes in his next election.  

Since I will soon be going on a cruise, I will carry my CDC vaccination card with my passport - and keep it safe at all times.  NCL's 100% vaccination requirement is an asset for them, as it allows their ships to sail into the Bahamas - a nation which requires that ALL visitors show proof of vaccination before entering the nation.  If NCL did not require every passenger to be vaccinated, it would not be able to bring passengers to their private island, nor would it be able to provide a cruise experience  equivalent to what they offered on roughly the same route before the pandemic.

By this time next year, I am hoping to take another cruise.  At that time, I hope that the worst of the pandemic will be gone.  The remaining anti-vaxxers may have gotten a free ride because the vaccinated rest of the population will have allowed us to achieve herd immunity.  If we had had their cooperation, we'd have achieved this status much earlier.  At least, we're in sight of achieving this goal....

I'm hoping that things work out ...in more ways than one.

 

Sometimes, I just feel like I have no words to describe how I'm feeling.  Today, I have some of the words, but my thoughts are still up in the air....

- - - - - -

Yesterday, I had a job interview with the NYS court system.  Given my age, a job offer for a contingent-permanent position might be the only way people would be willing to take a chance in hiring an older person.  The body is needed, and a person like me could have less at risk than a younger person being hired for the job.

The condition I worry about is that the position becomes a permanent position AND that the civil service list is still active.  If the canvass attracts more than two people higher up on the list, I would be bumped out of a job I've been doing for a while. Yet, if the list has expired by that time, then I would get the position without a second canvassing.  Luckily, the list I'm on likely expires next August, unless it was extended due to the pandemic. But this would be no comfort to me if I were to take the job, then get bumped out of the position by dumb luck....

Vicki has recommended that I take the chance on this position.  But the nature of the clientele this office serves makes me a little nervous. Additionally, I would likely have a worse commute than I now have, and I didn't like the commute when I worked less than a mile away on the same road.  So I'm of mixed mind, and hoping that the fates present me with the options best suited to my needs.

- - - - - -

When I got home today, I changed into Mario mode and went down to see CWS for dinner.  If it weren't for the restaurant looking to close, we could have continued talking for another hour or two.  Both of us have our baggage.  I just wonder what her reaction will be when I eventually tell her about Marian.  Again, I'm hoping that the fates guide me through this mess safely.

- - - - - -

This is a very confusing time of the year for me.  Sooner or later, I'll have to clarify where things stand with MWL.  But then, she may already have an idea, as we never progressed beyond heavy kissing. I'll also have to clarify things with CWS, and find out where she wants to head with things.  If I end up with no romantic option, I'll finally feel free enough to get my ears pierced, and lay off dating for a few months.  Strangely, this may also be a good path to take....

Waking up late for a good reason....

 

Sometimes, I'm able to stay home late on a weekday.  It is such a treat.  And I wish I could do this much more often than I can do right now.  Yet, as long as I have this job, I intend to be a responsible employee for as long as possible.

Today, I did a Zoom interview for another civil service job.  However, if it is offered to me, I will be at risk of losing this job from the minute I accept it.  If you look closely at the warning I received, I can lose the position if either of the following two conditions are met: (1) that the person who previously held the position wants it back, or (2) that upon re-canvassing for the position, someone higher on the civil service list wants this position.  Normally, I wouldn't take such a risky position.  But a trusted friend said that I should go for it, as my current job is mind numbing.

Life is all about taking risks.  Right now, I can afford to take this risk.  But do I really want to do so?   The population served by this position can be troublesome.  Do I need the headaches? 

Covid, Covid, Covid... AARGH!

 

I hate having to wear masks.  But I do so, in order to both stop the spread of the disease AND to help prevent contracting it myself.  But now, several people I know have potentially exposed to the virus AND one person has caught it.

Hopefully, the friend who was infected with Covid will have a speedy recovery AND not develop any troublesome symptoms.  Regarding the friends who might have been exposed, I'm hoping that this is a false alarm.  I'd hate to see them and their children be reinfected with the virus.

As for me, I'm taking extra precautions to avoid catching this bug before I go on my cruise.  I'm hoping that I can stay virus free until I return, and that the vaccinations + booster shot I've received will protect me from the worst of symptoms.

So I have one bit of advice....

Get Vaccinated ...NOW!

 

PS: The couple who host our bi-monthly game night had to postpone this week's session, as their daughter was also potentially exposed to the virus.  Hopefully, this will also be a false alarm....

I exchanged contact information with a new friend from work.

The above wristlet has nothing to do with what I plan to talk about today.  But it was a pleasant memory, and I felt like it would be appropriate to share this photo again....

- - - - - -

A lady at work and I have developed an office friendship.  Since she has a business on the side that I might want to use, we decided to exchange contact information.  And I sent out a test message before starting to catch up on my other chores.

You might be wondering, why is this important?  If all goes well, I will find a way out of this company, and start a new job with the state. That means I will need to have contact information sooner or later, and it made sense to exchange it now, considering that I expect that both of us will be leaving the office - but for very different reasons.

- - - - - -

The new crew is gradually making its presence known at the office.  The former HR person is still employed, but seems to be a minister without portfolio.  Other people have had their responsibilities reduced. And new management is not comfortable with the pay scales they need to have to attract New York region employees.  So I think a lot more changes will be coming, and few of them for the better.

Being among the grunts gives me a unique perspective on things.  And I am lucky that I don't depend on this job to get by from day to day.  As I see it, the work will keep coming in, and they will phase out the "management" that once ran the old firm.  By the time they are gone, I will likely be gone too.  It'll be an interesting thing to say that I started in an Bronze level "Elite" level of corporate life, and ended up in the mail room....

 

This is why I manage my schedule the way I do.

 

Although I had mentioned to my boss that I planned to take an unpaid week off to take a cruise, he asked whether I noted it online - which I didn't.  In addition to setting up an account on the new payroll system, I also put in a request for a week of unpaid time off.  What I didn't know was that I would need to schedule something else for when I should be working, and whether I should attend an interview as Mario or Marian.

When I got home today, I received the following email:

Good afternoon Ms. Johnson –

We (Name 1 and Name 2) left you a message last week to inform you that we are interviewing for the Clerical Assistant position in the Westchester office of Mental Hygiene Legal Service.

We will be conducting virtual interviews on December xx, 2021.  If you are interested, please contact me.

Thank you.

Name 1

Principal Attorney.

Although I found a record of this call, I did not see any evidence of a message being left on voicemail. (I'll have to talk to them about this when I meetup with them.)  But what I noticed most about this email was that it was addressed to Ms. Johnson and not Mr. Johnson, as in my application.  Considering that all the paperwork that NYS has uses my legal name, I wondered how this mistake could be made.  Even more, how could I make this work to my advantage.  So I called Vicki for some advice.

Vicki advised me to mention that it was all right co call me "Ms." as I am transgender.  However, to clarify things, I have not yet changed my legal name, although I have worked two jobs (including the one I am in) as a female.  And then, shift the conversation to whether I am right for the job at hand.  If this person remembers me from a prior interview, I will mention that it was easier to then interview as a male at that first interview out of a desire to be overly cautious.

So now, once I hear back from this office, I will need to schedule some time off for this interview AND schedule some time off for my yearly physical.  AARGH!  At least, I have been able to keep the times I need to present male and female fully separate from each other....

 

PS:  This was too good to be true.  The next day, I received the following email.  

Good afternoon Mr. Johnson  -

This email will serve as confirmation of your interview for the position of Clerical Assistant with the office of Mental Hygiene Legal Service.  The interview will be held  ....  via Microsoft Teams.  I will send you a Microsoft Teams link prior to your interview.  Should you be unable to make the interview, please contact me at the phone number provided below.

The interview panel will consist of the following individuals: 

xxxxxxx - Deputy Director of Administration
xxxxxxx - Deputy Chief Attorney
xxxxxxx - Principal Attorney of the Westchester Offices
xxxxxxx - Secretary - Southern Westchester Office

As discussed,  this position is Contingent Permanent.  I have attached a “Status of Position” statement which further explains the “Contingent Permanent” status.  Please sign and return the form to me prior to your interview.

*In accordance with OCA guidelines, all new hires must be FULLY vaccinated against the COVID-19 virus by the date of hire, unless granted a reasonable accommodation due to disability or religion.

We look forward to meeting with you....

 
You'll note the dreaded "Mr."  at the beginning of the above email.  So I guess I'm going to attend this online meeting as Mario after all....

 

 

 

 

Changed Plans - a short post

 

Today, I was supposed to go into NYC with a friend, first going to MoMA, then going to dinner.  These plans had to change, as my friend wasn't feeling that well.  This gave me the opportunity to continue cleaning my apartment, do some laundry, and relax a bit.

- - - - - -

One of the problems I have with cleaning my apartment is that it is such a monumental task.  If you remember the puzzle above, the object is to move the tiles to that the numbers appear in proper sequence.  Sorting through the clutter in my apartment is a similar task.  In order to free up room for a move, I have to eliminate stuff so that I can move other stuff in its place.

Unfortunately, this takes up a lot of emotional energy, and I could only do so much.  Luckily, I got enough done to see some headway being made, though an untrained eye wouldn't notice anything. Sooner, or later, I will get this place looking presentable.  I just wonder when that day will come.

It's a fine day to do some house cleaning!

 

You should have seen this corner of the room before I started work on it!  There was a pile of assorted stuff where the fan is that had to be sorted through and dealt with - Keep, Donate, or Trash.  To do so, I had to make space in a second closet for the stuff I needed to keep.  So far, I'm at least $40 richer, as I found a cell phone holder that contained: (1) a $20 bill, (2) an MTA Metrocard for use on the subways, and (3) a blank check to be used for my co-pay when I visit my doctor.

At the time I wrote this, I still had the time to either go into NYC to catch a Broadway play at half price, or to visit my brother on Long Island.  So I'll talk about this (if warranted) some other day.  For now, I plan to keep up with my cleaning, then call CWS about getting together tomorrow.  At least, she understands the headaches of deferred house cleaning.

- - - - - -

A while back, I noted that I let things go to hell in my place shortly after the pandemic struck.  With the loss of two of the people I used to lean on for support, I had to build a new network from scratch - something very hard to do during the pandemic.  The mess that built up in this place was a direct result of the depression I was going through at the time.  Little did I know how bad this mess would grow.

Right now, my living room/dining area is a mess, and is filled with 5 large bags used for items I mean to donate to charity.  There will be more bags to go to charity in the near future, as I don't want to have storage containers (or shoes) in the other 3 corners of the bedroom.  Assuming that I were to get a new job (I'm waiting for the results of the interview.  I'm not counting on an offer, as I expect that age discrimination has already taken me out of the running), I will spend a couple of free days in a row to clean up this place.

Once I have this place tolerably clean, and have a place inside my closets for all of my feminine stuff, I will again have my cleaning lady come.  I'll bet that she will need an extra couple of hours (or more) to get rid of the dust, etc. that has accumulated over the two years since her last visit.

I woke up and found I said nothing

 

Lately, I've been trying to find something to say for each day.  However, Blogger has a nasty habit of leaving the wrong day in the date field even after a publish date has been set for an entry.  As a result of this glitch (they may call it a feature), I woke up to find that nothing posted today - something I had to rectify with this short post,

- - - - - -

As I write this, I have a documentary about Jerry Lewis on in the background. The French love him as a performer - I don't.  No accounting for their taste.  But then, I feel that one sentence best covers their only two positive attributes: "They know how and what to eat."  Yet, I can say that Lewis put in one good performance in his career - the movie "Boeing Boeing".  And even more importantly, he did raise a lot of money for charity.  

Over this weekend, I've been struck with a marvelous lack of energy - and a revelation: I need external reasons to get up and be active.  This might be the reason I've tried to stick at this boring job I do during the week.  I miss having someone to be with.  But it's better than being with the wrong person.

- - - - - -

Today, I plan to take care of some errands to keep myself busy.  I'm not sure if I will do it in Marian or Mario mode.  Either way, I'm going to get some sunshine while I can do so.  And on that note, I'll see you tomorrow....

Enjoying a needed lazy day doing very little.

After a large feast, one's body needs time to recover.  And today was my time to rest.  I could have gone out and run some errands.  Instead, I relaxed in bed all day until evening came.  And then, as the sun went down, I started to fill up another donation bag (or two) with clothing from Mario's side of the closet.  I feel that if I lose weight, I would be better served by buying a new wardrobe in my new size, instead of wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in several years.

If you wonder why I might refresh Mario's side of the closet some time in the future, it's simply because I'm not sure if I want to close the door as going out as Mario now and then. Until then, I have more than enough clothing on that side of the closet to get by.

- - - - - -

Right now, I know of some people who are also doing this sort of house/apartment cleaning.  One person I know has a deadline to get a residence cleaned out.  Another person simply has to pack up his goods and move out of a condo he's been living in for 3 years.  And still another person I know is simply doing a declutter operation, so that her place stays clean.  This person has suggested that I hire some help (as TCL has done) to facilitate this process.  I am not yet ready for this yet.  Instead, I'm treating my cleaning task as a form of "Swedish Death Cleaning."

My current goal is to prune both Mario's and Marian's closets to something resembling a normal couple's closets. And this involves a little ruthless pruning of things that are no longer worn in either mode.  I have already pruned garments given to me by my former cruise partner.  But I have kept a few of the things which are compatible with my current wardrobe style.

Hopefully, I will get the bulk of this cleanup done before I have the opportunity to bring someone back to the apartment.  But first, this cleanup, then getting my cleaning lady in to do her magic....

I'm grateful to have friends who accept me for who and what I am.

 

This is a picture taken on Thanksgiving Day.  The daughter of our Host & Hostess caught a female praying mantis and is keeping it in a tank in their living room.  I accidentally knocked the paper cover off the tank. And in the precious few seconds it took me to cover it back up again, the mantis had escaped. By the time we noticed it was gone, it has encamped itself on the fireplace mantle, from where the daughter got control of it again.

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This year's Turkey Day was much more pleasant than last year.  Instead of trying to find a nice restaurant to eat at within a day or two of the holiday then scuttling those plans for Boston Market takeout because of FH's daughter's issues, it was nice to know I had a place to go to and a nice place to share a meal with friends.  (Did I ever mention that FH lives in an apartment that depresses me, due to its paint scheme, its clutter, and general style?) 

I am very comfortable around the host & hostess of game night, and they know and accept me for who and what I am.  And I am grateful that they invited me (and other game night friends) over to their house to celebrate Thanksgiving.  I'm even more grateful that they were able to accommodate Vicki as my plus one.  

Yes, much of the day was centered around food.  But there was also a lot of good conversation.  And for the first time, no games.  It just wouldn't have been right....

Work - Should I or shouldn't I?

 

Today's post will be a quick one....

I don't recall ever feeling physically exhausted from 40 years of working in front of a computer screen.  But this job is very different.  There is not enough visual downtime from low level mental processing.  So an interesting question comes to me - Should I or Shouldn't I continue going to work?  Should I retire for good?

Although I enjoy going to work as Marian, it's not the work I wanted to do.  But the money coming in is very useful to me.  And I need to make it last.  So I was having a conversation with a friend at work, and we were discussing financial issues while I was working at indexing documents.  She didn't understand what I was trying to do with money (planning on putting money into Roth IRAs 2 years in a row instead of using the company 401k plan), but it made sense after an explanation.  This gave us an opening to talk about finances after work one day.  It should be an interesting conversation....

One step forward and two steps back.

 

Although my company has been around for a while, it became another corporate poker chip in the game of "business line poker."  The more they try to do good by the employees, the more they make mistakes in doing so.

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The first example of trying to do the right thing was a pre Thanksgiving pot luck lunch to help build team morale.  But asking people to spend time and money to help with this event was a big mistake.  Many of these low wage employees don't have any excess money to spend on this event, nor do they have the time to do the cooking in advance.  So after a few days, management started putting up signs saying that the pot luck lunch was cancelled.

Next came the mandatory attendance for the new 401k plan.  Although its provides for a better match for employee contributions (50% of an employee's contribution up to 3% of the employee's salary for the pay period), the company chosen to provide the funds is a high expense fund provider.  The old plan put money into Vanguard funds.  The new plan uses Fidelity.  Needless to say, when the only choices are Lifecycle Target Date plans, the fund management company effectively double dips into the load pool.  To make things worse, the company match isn't fully vested until one has been there for 3 years.  I plan to be retired by then.  So it makes more sense for me to open up a Roth IRA with Vanguard.

As I would describe things at the office - two steps forward and one step back.

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After I left the office, I went to a meetup of the FTF's in Fairfield, CT.  Although it took over an hour to drive there, it was worth the drive to be having dinner with friendly faces again.  No, it's not like the group I used to attend in the Hudson Valley - I'll take whatever camaraderie I can get these days.  But I can't help but think that I would have been in a better position 3 years ago in the Hudson Valley,  had I known to deal with issues with the ex-girlfriend and with my former cruise partner at that time.

But I'm not going to dwell upon the past.  I've talked about it more than enough, and I'm doing better than I should be doing after last year's disasters.  And that's something to be grateful for.