Dinner with a friend

 

Last night, I had dinner with a friend from the meetup group whose meetings I irregularly attend.  She's a nice woman, about 30 years old, and not sure of what direction to take in life.  Sadly, she has a similar lack of charisma to me, and I think it is her mode of speech that makes me think she's lonely.

So what can make a good person repel people without bad habits or bad intent? This has been a question that I've asked of myself over the years, and I don't have a good answer.  But I know that I feel much more confident when presenting as Marian.  This might be because I have less social history as Marian, and less history of being rejected by people.  Our experiences add up over the years and influence how we express ourselves.  We learn to be timid or assertive from the body languages and spoken languages of our parents, coupled with the experiences we endure as we grow up. It's hard to undo these "lessons", as they force us to repeat these unproductive expressions of body language and of spoken language.

Luckily, being trans and expressing ourselves in our identified gender starts to liberate us.  We learn how to communicate in new ways and learning a new gender body language makes it easier for us to feel more confident and relaxed.  No, transition does not solve our problems.  But it gives us a tool to help us on our way to dealing with those problems effectively.  If it weren't for the fact that I want romance in my life more than transition, I'd be rushing down my path of transition because of the freedom I'm experiencing as Marian....

Starting to catch up with people

 

Harpo Marx has nothing to do with this post, save this is my favorite picture of him, and that he is my favorite among all the Marx Brothers as people. (Groucho is my favorite on screen.)  

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Today was my last day of work before the weekend.  And my schedule included dealing with a phone call from the Medicare Insurance Agent (for my Part D coverage) and having dinner with a friend from my meetup groups.  What I didn't plan for was a 90 minute phone call with my ex girlfriend Patty, as her hubby was busy with a gig.  So, bu the time I reached RQS, it was getting close to midnight.  

But first....

I haven't been sleeping that well, and I could have used another 2 hours of sleep before going to work.  But I was awake and alert all day.  I guess it relates to me having more liquid when I get up and some calories (in the form of carbs) to burn before leaving home.

After 8 hours at my workstation, it was time for me to leave and get ready for dinner.  Dinner was scheduled for 6:30 at a nearby restaurant.  Since I had the insurance agent scheduled, I pushed the time forward to 7 pm.  And this was a good thing, as the insurance agent didn't bother calling me.  Luckily, the restaurant is 5 minutes away from me and I got there at 7 o'clock sharp. My friend and I had a nice meal together.  She is young enough to be my daughter and she sees me as if I were a cisgender woman.  And that is how I relate to her.   

Once I got home, Patty and I had a nice long chat and caught up on things. I won't go into any of the details here, save that we talked about family members with similar issues, medicare issues, and residence issues.  We could have talked more, but her hubby got home and she wanted to spend time with him.  So I suggested a dinner foursome with RQS, and let her spend the end of the evening with her hubby.

Next was RQS.  We caught up on what was going on for the day, and then it was time to go to bed.  At this point, I picked up some clothing I'd need for the next day, and packed for an overnight with her. However, I made sure that I transferred everything from Marian's wallet to Mario's wallet.  The last thing I want is to have no ID in my wallet when I need it - as happened with XGFJ several years ago....

A conversation with FCP

Earlier this year, I found out that FCP had a grandchild and that her son had graduated med school.  So I sent her congratulations, even though we were still on the outs with each other.  Two weeks after the last message, she sent a message to tell me that she was offended that I sent a card to her son and daughter in law to offer my congratulations.  (She tried calling me, but I wouldn't have picked up if I knew it were her - I don't react well to someone screaming.)  I wasn't going to say this to her, but I knew that her son holds no grudge against me, and probably was glad to receive my card.

After several failed phone calls, FCP sent a text message and we had a series of message exchanges.  I found out that my ex girlfriend was much more unhappy in our relationship than she let on to me (the ex told me that she hinted a lot and expected me to pick up on her obtuse hints), and complained to FCP.  (I'd give a cookie to know who contacted who first, but that's another story.)  Given the way things were phrased in the exchange, I think that FCP wanted to make sure that my relationship with the ex was going to die, so that she could get even with me.

Now, I'm not going to go into details here, but I think I was set up by FCP without even sensing it.  It's just as well that things are over with both people, as there's nothing that would have come from the relationship with the ex, as we never talked about having a future together after 5 years of a relationship.  Being transgender was only one of the things that the ex couldn't deal with, and I'll leave it at that.  All I can say is that I wasted 5 years with the ex when I could have been searching for someone who could accept me fully as I am - in both gender presentations.  This is not a knock on my ex as much as it is a knock on two people who couldn't shit or get off the pot for as long as we did.

Do I know what the objective truth is regarding what happened all these months ago?  No.  But I'm closer to being able to say that the ex was unhappy, was unable to advocate for her needs with me, and was destined to leave a lot later than she should have.  Regarding FCP, I should have never had made public things which I did.  And both of us have grown because we no longer lean on each other for support....

 

 

PS: I had another message from FCP, and she was upset upon reading this.  She didn't like my accusing her of being in the middle of things and causing trouble, so she is blocking communications from me.  Sadly, she can't accept that others can come up with different conclusions based on the information available to them.  And, when neither person trusts each other anymore, it is very easy to assume the worst from the other.

 

Computer Interface Problems

 

No matter how programmers try their best, they will always screw up a little.  In my case, the programmer who designed the aa.com website made the page where security questions are saved not work with my internet security program (Kaspersky) on Firefox, Chrome, and MS Edge.  It could be a problem with another of the programs I'm using on my computer, but I was able to enter this data by using the Opera browser.

Sadly, there is no way to test software to run on every device.  But I feel that many programmers could do a better job - both when designing web sites (and their underlying software) and in internet security packages.  Sometimes, I'd like to have an easy way to disable all browser extensions for use on a particular web page AND disable most of the security checks as well.  Obviously, this is not an approach for the feint hearted, as one can do this for a web site run by a scammer.

It's very unfortunate that we need complex interfaces to perform simple computer functions on the web. Gone are the days where we could submit information without a Captcha and without multi factor verification.  And this is for the better, as more of our lives are managed via the computer than they were even 5 years ago.  We need to be secure, and this complexity is there for our benefit.

- - - - - -

Regarding the aa.com site....

I tried using my system with all of the major browsers.  However, I also use a version of Opera which has no browser extensions.  I'll bet that if my security package didn't tie itself in so tightly with the other browsers, that I'd have been infected with malware by now....

Everything's getting old these days.

 

This morning, I took off a half day from work for a doctor's visit.  After checking me up a bit, he noted that I needed to have some tests done, and I had to take care of going to another place in town to have them done.  AARGH!  I hate doing this.  But I will do so.  But this is not the only thing that's growing old - my car is getting on in miles, and it's time to get a replacement. I'm not happy about what needs to be done, as it will cost me time and money.  Time is now the most precious commodity in life, as we will never have enough of it.

It's amazing that the more I have to do, the less time I have to do it. This is the life of a busy person, even when s/he is not doing that much anymore.  Yet, I keep getting surprised by things.  This morning, I received some snail mail from Social Security about monies I had in a pension plan with the bank I once worked for.  The information I received was from 7 years ago - regarding a 401k I have with the bank.  It's nice to know that our government is trying to make sure that our citizens know about the retirement funds they have already earned with other employers.

The two remaining tasks I have to take care of before going to work is finding out when I can go in for the tests the doctor prescribed AND when I can bring the car to the mechanic.  I guess that getting old will involve many more appointments for things that are starting to break down....

The end of a long weekend

 

This was my best weekend yet with RQS.  Not only did she get to meet me in Marian Mode, but we went shopping for dresses together.  Hopefully, she won't get spooked when she has time to think about things by herself.

Today was a lazy day, where we stayed in our jammies until after breakfast, and then took a drive to see if the tire shop was open on a Holiday (I wanted to chat with the person in charge to see if this shop does certain work I need done.)  Of course, as I expected, the shop was closed for the holiday.  But we enjoyed getting out in the sun before tomorrow's oppressive heat comes.

If you were to think about today's image, that's the feeling we've both been craving for years.  (However, you'll never find me with a beard anymore.) Right now, I think we've found it in each other.  And I missed her when I dropped her off at the train station, barely in time to catch the train home.  Hopefully, she misses being with me as much as much as I miss being with her....

Dress Shopping

 

Today was the moment of truth.  Could RQS and I spend the whole day together with me in Marian Mode?  That was the question of the day.

We both started getting dressed around noon.  At various stages during the dressing process, I popped out to say hello.  She wasn't shocked.  However, I made sure NOT to go out to see her with my makeup on, but not my wig.  And I think that was the right decision.

Off we went to Karina Dresses in Kingston. It was a nice day for a drive, and I took it slow, so that RQS could enjoy the scenery. By the time we made it there, it was shortly after 3 pm. And that's when we both started trying on dresses.  Although I couldn't find anything that fit me perfectly (their sizes are slightly small), RQS found 2 dresses she loved.  So it was she who made the best out of the trip.  

Our next stop was in Peekskill.  We wanted to find out if ShopRite was still selling lobsters at $12/lb. If they were, we'd skip the lobster truck and cook some crustaceans on our own.  We ended up buying 3 tasty critters for me to cook.  For my own edification, I decided to find the lobster truck that was servicing the area.  And it was in the back of beyond in a place I'd never find without google maps.  

When we got home, we got comfortable while the water was getting to a boil.  Once the water was hot enough, in went the 3 lobsters.  A few minutes later, we pigged out on fresh lobster.  Instead of spending $50 on 2 lobster rolls, each containing 4-6 oz. of lobster meat, we had 3 x 1.5 lb lobsters to chow down on.  YUM!

All in all, it was a very nice day, and hopes for future nice days like this - with me in Marian mode.

Some more car shopping

 

So far, I have test driven 3 cars.  If the dealerships weren't so understandably greedy these days, I might have dropped the hammer and bought one of these cars.  No, I am not knocking the dealerships.  They are doing exactly what they should be doing when a product is in short supply - raising prices to reach a stable point on a supply/demand curve.

RQS and I stayed in most of the day, as the weather was dreary.  It was raining hard throughout the morning and early afternoon, and it was not good for taking test drives.  By 3:00 pm, the weather started getting better, and we went to Central Avenue to start our car shopping expedition.  The first of the cars I drove was a Hyundai.  As much as I liked the Kona, I felt that there was something missing.  (It is still on my list of possible purchases.)  Next was the Elantra (shown above).  I liked the car, but had my usual problem of bumping my head upon entry.  This dealer was willing to haggle a bit, but didn't seem too greedy.

The next dealer was a Honda dealer, where we tried out their HR-V.  This car said "Buy Me at the right price!"  But the salesman said that the dealership was asking $3k above MSRP.  There is no way I will pay that much as the manufacturers are ramping up production and that supply chains will soon get back to normal.  The salesman had his obligatory meeting with the salesman, and said that they had some wiggle room.  (I figure that if I offer $1k over MSRP, I could get the car for $1.5 if I hold firm.)

As you can guess, I hate paying MSRP for anything.  So I'm not in too much of a hurry for now.  But I want to get a new car purchase done by the time I leave my job.  Keep your fingers crossed....

The beginning of an interesting weekend

 

It was a very interesting weekend indeed!  At least, it was for me.  

I had told RQS that I'd pick her up at the train station in Marian mode.  Would she be shocked?  Or, would it be a non issue.  In a way, this was make or break time for us, as she needed to find out how she'd feel about seeing me in Marian mode.  So, it was with a little trepidation that I got ready for work on Friday. I wanted to look my best for when I met RQS in Marian mode for the first time.

The end of the work day approached, and I got ready to take a long weekend off.  At exactly 4:30 pm, I shut down my work station, grabbed my handbag, and out the door I went.  After taking care of a couple of things, such as filling up the gas tank, it was time to meet RQS.  She didn't recognize me at first, but she recognized the car.  And, she saw it was the same person inside - but she had to get used to me wearing a wig and speaking in a more feminine voice.

Once we got back to my place, I switched back into Mario mode for the rest of the evening.  We had passed our first test with me presenting as Marian, and I didn't want to overwhelm her.  There would be more to come over the weekend.

How things have changed

 

This is not a flattering picture of me.  But it is a reminder that I need to do something about my weight.

Why do I mention this?

First, I started going out in the world as Marian, knowing I was far from perfect.  It took a lot of internal energy to start going out in the world as Marian, and I was very scared to have people know about me where I live. Now, I don't care who sees me in either presentation.

Second, at the beginning of the pandemic, I was having problems with an ex girlfriend regarding meetup groups which she didn't want me attending.  Although she was able to blackball me from the one surviving group from that time, it really doesn't matter much anymore.  I don't have the time or energy to go to many of these functions any more.

Third, as much as I like having a job to keep me from getting too lethargic, I'm now at the point where I'm planning to retire for good.  It's a strange feeling for me, as I have almost never left a job on my own volition. The census was a job that I knew was going to end as soon as I took it.  I was laid off from most of my other jobs, as I either didn't perform up to standards, or that I was caught up in a purge - as happened at the bank I worked for 30 years.

Now that I have other things to do with my life, I may end up changing the frequency of published entries here, as I do not have enough to say for all of the 7 days of the week.  I'm out and about socially as Marian these days, and I am fully comfortable in the role of Marian.  There is not much new to me as Marian anymore, so I've been talking about other things than my life as Marian.  So to keep publishing new entries, I will be talking more about things going on in the world than what's going on in my life.  Hopefully, my readers will find this interesting....

Medicare - AARGH!

 

Turning 65 is a big pain!  Not only do I have to realize that I am an old person, but I have to change my insurance provider - and not by choice, but by effective mandate.  This is not as bad as it sounds, but it is a confusing mess.

- - - - - -

I always knew that I'd be going on Medicare, but am confused by all the options available to me.  So I registered for a traditional medicare plan (parts A&B) and drug coverage (part D).  But I have also looked into a supplement plan, even though that will cost me extra money.  Could I have gone with an "Advantage Plan" (part C) instead of the others?  Yes, but I have been told that there are issues going down that route.  So I'm buying time by leaving options available to me to choose from in the future.

But what has that to do with being transgender?  Virtually nothing.  One of the things about the transition process is that most of a life continues running as if a person was cisgender. About the only thing different for me is that my ID still has Mario's name on it, and that I still see my internist as Mario.  I can only imagine what will happen if I go towards medical transition.  That's a topic I don't want to think about right now, as I'm not sure if I'll ever go that far....

Connecting with friends

 

This is going to be another quick entry.

Over the past couple of nights, I have had 2 zoom meetings.  The first was with my ex-boss, a man who only knows me as Mario.  The other was with a woman who only knows me as Marian.  Normally, I would be energized by both zoom meetings, but I had no energy to really enjoy them.  This means that I couldn't wait to get off the zoom and do something else.

Once I leave my job, I will suggest to my ex-boss that we meet up for a lunch somewhere, as it will be nice to chat in person for a change.  Even though things will be very different from the last time we met in person, it will be a good thing to get back to normal - or, at least how we once thought of it.  Regarding the second person, if I weren't seeing RQS on a regular basis, I'd schedule a Chicago trip to see her for a long weekend.

Keeping in contact these days has become much harder for me than it was in the past. I never had a job that sucked as much energy out of me as this job does. Yet, this lack of energy forces me to make hard decisions regarding who I really want to see.  And maybe, that's the one benefit I'm getting from this exhausting job....

Cruise Affordability

 

The other day, I discussed potential cruises with RQS.  We had found an Alaska 9 day cruise for a reasonably cheap price ($799 pp/double occupancy, excluding fees/taxes) that RQS was interested in taking.  Since I didn't want to do Alaska this year, I made a simple suggestion - look at the excursion package prices.  That was enough to get her to realize that 2022 wasn't the time to go to Alaska.

One thing I've learned about cruising is that shore excursions can easily double the price of a cruise. I could have easily busted my budget on my last cruise if I took ALL the excursion options available to me. Instead, I chose the option that allowed me to see parts of a city that I've never visited before.  But what happens on a cruise where ALL the ports have desired excursions?

Alaska and Hawaii cruises are known for their expensive excursions.  One takes these excursions to experience things that have no equivalents anywhere else.  Alaska has glaciers.  Hawaii has volcanoes. This is a simplistic explanation of the states' uniqueness.  And this uniqueness is why both states are on many peoples bucket lists.  Where else can you take a bus to see a glacier from a port city?  Where else can you get to an active volcano from a port city?  Both states are isolated and expensive to reach.  So they will be expensive places to visit.

If I wanted to cruise on the cheap, I'd stay in the Caribbean for my cruises.  Once you've seen an island with a fort, an island with a pristine beach, and an island with a tourist oriented shopping area, they all seem the same.  The specific details may be different for each island, but not enough is different to make any island stand out for long.  So, once a person has sailed the 3 Caribbean areas (West, South, and East), there is not much new to see.  Instead, a Caribbean cruise is a series of beach days that takes place on different islands.

Over time, a cruiser may decide to stay on the boat and avoid Caribbean shore excursions altogether.  The ship has become its own destination.  For me, that is how I afford many of my cruises.  When I think of my former cruise partner, she complained that we don't go on any shore excursions.  I'm not going into the reasons why I didn't go on excursions with her, save that there were none that made sense for us to go on.  Once one has cruised the same route (or a similar route) several times, one has already done the excursions worth doing.  The boat is now the destination, and not the Caribbean islands.

I monitor cruise prices all the time for trips I might want to take.  There are price points that one must set, where when prices fall below them, it's time to consider buying a ticket.  This was the case for my most recent winter cruise.  The cruise line effectively made me an office I couldn't refuse.  This is how I afford my trips....

When one gets tired, one can slip up....

 

I remember how Fran was when she told me about how she decided to come "out" to the world.  She couldn't keep her male and female persona separate enough to avoid having the wrong person see her in the wrong presentation.  Today, I made a smaller version of the same mistake.  Although my mistake is not "fatal" it is a potential problem, as I emailed some paperwork to my doctor's office from my "Marian" account.  This will likely cause a few questions if the receptionist asks the wrong questions.

However, I am not too worried about a worst case scenario.  It will only be a little bit of embarrassment at first, then life will go on.  But this makes me wonder how many of us let our guard down a bit too far when we are tired.  When I used to cruise with FCP, I'd occasionally slip up and use the wrong voice when tired or overly relaxed.  The wrong voice can spoil any presentation in less than a second.  So, sending an email from the wrong account is a relatively minor thing to let happen.  Doctors are supposed to keep secrets, and I expect that the people in his office can be trusted to do the same.

A quick note about someone convicted of a minor crime or two.

 

How many of you have listened to the "Alice's Restaurant Massacree?"  

Arlo Guthrie's most famous song was written about a real life incident in his life.  There was a real life Alice who ran a restaurant near Stockbridge, MA and there was an incident where Arlo did have to clean up a mess of garbage.  He did clean up the mess talked about in his tune.

Regarding his visit to Whitehall Street, less is known from other sources, save that the building still exists in mutilated form. Arlo Guthrie has stated that much of the film "Alice's Restaurant" is based on real events.  I can only imagine what he went through at that time in his life.

- - - - - -

Why do I bring this up?  Well, I have been listening to his tune on a regular basis while I do my work at the office.  The simple pace of the tune distracts me enough from what I'm doing to make doing my job more bearable.

So, if you want to deal with a highly repetitive task, I suggest finding a tune which matches the pace of the work you are doing, and then playing it in the background for a while.

This past heat wave was dengerous!

 

This will be a short post about two LONG days.

RQS and I had plans for Saturday,  First we'd get up, do some car shopping, buy a new fan, then go into NYC to see an Off Broadway play.  Well, we got up late, and proceeded over to Walmart to buy the fan.  And then we descended into the hell of 95° heat and high humidity....

My car has problems with hot weather and slow traffic.  We made the mistake of trying to drive to Pelham to catch a train into NYC from that station, as it has more service than the stations I usually travel from.  Well, After navigating around a few traffic jams and turning off the car to avoid overheating, we reached Palham station.  And then we found out that the train had lost power, and nothing was moving on the line.  So our next thought was to take the subway.  We put the kibosh on this option, as they were busing people between stations to accommodate construction work going on.  At this point, we abandoned thought of using our tickets, and decided to go out to eat in Westchester.

On our way up to Kalbi House (a Korean restaurant on Central Avenue), I called Vicki to suggest that we get together for coffee after our dinner.  Now that our plans were complete, we made it to dinner and spent too much for decent food.  (The food was good, but the tastes were not memorable.  Something was missing from all the dishes, and we couldn't put a handle on it.)  From there, we went to meet Vicki and the "fun" began.

Vicki and Sue got along well until Vicki got into dominant preacher mode.  At that point, she started rubbing me the wrong way.  Although I have issues with my weight, I don't need someone preaching to me what I must do to lose weight.  What works for her may not work for me.  This was the first time that I raised my voice with her, and hurt her feelings.  Although I won't go into the details, it took me a while talking with RQS to process what I felt at that time.

- - - - - -

The next day had us going back to RQS's place.  It was almost as hot as the day before, and we had to deal with even more traffic jams.  This time, I was breaking a few traffic laws to get the car moving and keep the temperature under control.  I was lucky to get the car over the Whitestone Bridge, where we stopped at a local fast food joint to cool off, and let the car cool off as well.

Luckily, we made it to RQS's place without incident, and I stayed there until sunset when it was "cooler" outside.  I then drove home, bypassing most of the traffic jams I might have hit, and made it home without incident.

- - - - - -

Next weekend, it will be Marian who meets RQS at the station.  Keep your fingers crossed that she reacts well to seeing me in this presentation.

I'm now a trusted traveler!

 

 
Today was a rare day that I took off from work because I needed a full day to take care of things.  My visit to Customs and Border Protection for my Trusted Traveler Number required me to be in Lower Manhattan at noon for a 30 minute "Interview".

Although this was a day I'd have rather spent in Marian mode, my interview required that I look like the name on my official documents AND my meeting with RQS could not have went well had I not been in Mario mode.  My worry - I wouldn't find a packing spot at the local train station.  But I needn't have worried.- the pandemic's effect at the local train station's parking lot made it very easy for me to get a decent parking spot.  Unfortunately, it cost me more to park the car than for a one way senior ticket to NYC.

I arrived at the Global Entry center (at the former Customs House) a few minutes early, and was impressed by how they left much of the structure alone in areas controlled by TSA/CBP.  When I reached the area for my interview, the interview area looked like it was designed for a modern building, yet fit perfectly in the space.  (DMV should only look this open and functional.)  The interviewer took my fingerprints (same equipment I used at the census) and asked me one question: "Do I still work at 'xxxx'?" and I answered yes.  That was it.  My number was activated, and I was free to meet RQS at Grand Central.

There is not much to say about the rest of the day, save that we went to a new "Lobster Truck" not affiliated with the brand we enjoy so much.  This was the biggest mistake of the day - the lobster roll was not satisfying, and both of us wanted to enjoy something else.  And that we did - we went to an ice cream shop where they had wine flavored ice cream....  YUM!

How many of you remember Screen Savers?

 

This is a quick entry regarding technology. 

Years ago, it was a big thing to have "Flying Toasters" for a screen saver.  The old vacuum tube monitors of the day needed tools such these to help prevent an image from getting burnt into the tube's phosphors when screens were in idle mode.  Sometimes they were fun to watch.  In the case of the "Opus and Bill" screen saver, it spoofed the Flying Toasters put out by a competitor's program.

Lately, I found the above mouse pad and it triggered fond memories of the era of the screen saver.  Too bad that most people now to put up static images when their machine is locked.  I miss the individuality some people showed with their screen savers....

Normalcy

 

What is normal?  For a trans person, it is being about living a normal life for the gender for which one identifies.  This means that after a period of transition, a trans person will live an uneventful life in issues of gender, save for those issues specific those people of that gender.

Once one has transitioned, all of the other issues in a person's life still go on.  The issue of gender dysphoria has been removed, but all other issues remain.  If one is prone to anger, one will still get angry quickly after transition. If one is warm and affectionate, this personality trait will still remain after one shifts to a new gender identity and presentation.  If one has family problems, they will still remain after transition.  In short, transition is not a be all and end all.

Why am I noting this?

For the past 15 months, I've been working at a job as Marian that I've grown to abhor.  It's not the job itself, but what I've let it do to my life.  I no longer have the energy to read in the way I once did.  I no longer have the time to prepare my own "healthy" meals.  And I no longer have the time to keep up with my friends.  This is not a normal I like to live.  Yet, it is the normal that many of us are forced to suffer for much of their lives.

Lately, I have identified a date for which I will be submitting my resignation, so that I have a chance of enjoying a summer spending time with RQS.  I will miss the extra money I get from working my job.  But I will be able to get back to a normal that I enjoyed more than the normal I have now....

By the time I got to try it on, it was sold out.

 

I was trying to find this dress at Lane Bryant, so that I could try it on and make a decision whether to buy it or not. Although the blue dress is in stock, the dress above is not.  This means that I may end up buying a different dress from Avenue in a similar color, or buy this dress in a different color.

It's just as well that they didn't have this dress in stock.  If it had been, I might have bought it on an impulse.  Over a quarter century since my late wife died, I understand the allure of shopping for new clothes.  It's fun to decorate yourself in new ways - something most men do not understand.  Although I can say no to most impulse purchases, there are a few items that shout "Buy Me!" that are very hard to resist.  And I've been lucky NOT to fall prey to too many of these purchase opportunities.

Given that my closets are overflowing with clothes, I think I got lucky in NOT being able to buy this dress....

- - - - - -

On other matters, the son of someone I know just earned his medical degree.  Congratulations!   Too bad that I will forever be on the outs with his mom.  Yet, when I was coming home from the store tonight, I asked myself - what did I like about this woman?  And the one answer that came up was that I thought that she accepted me as I am.  Yes, I ruined our friendship.  But in her angry attacks over the past 2 1/2 years, I found out what she really thought of me.  We didn't have that much in common.  But I liked her anyway.

- - - - - - 

Going to Lane Bryant, I had an hour long chat with TCL.  Towards the end, I told her of a conversation I had with FH, documented in a prior entry.  TCL agrees with me about FH - and I didn't even tell TCL who I was talking about.  Sadly for FH, she will never understand why I didn't jump at the opportunity to be her "Plus 1" for a wedding she's attending next weekend.  I can't imagine having to get dressed up to go to a party where I know no one but my partner and put my relationship with RQS at risk.

Thinking of RQS, I mentioned our minor problems in Washington, DC.  TCL realized that we passed an early test of whether a relationship is good or not.  We were able to deal with a situation of moderate stress and work together well to resolve a problem.  I still keep my fingers crossed each time we may encounter another situation that could cause us some grief.  Hopefully, we'll keep passing these tests as time goes on....