A visit to the computer fixit shop and the bookstore

 

Today was not the best of days, nor was it the worst of days.  It was a day where things didn't go right, and yet, not go completely wrong.

- - - - - -

RQS and I decided to leave the apartment later than we planned.  Our first stop was at the computer fixit store, where she had to get some more work done on her computer.  Whenever she tried to start MS-Word, the logon process from her old job would start, making it impossible for her to use the software.  Of course, this had to get fixed, and we brought the computer into the shop at 3:30 pm.  One hour later, she left the store, but the computer was still in the shop.  My guess is that the fixit guy wasn't picking up on the idea that her old firm had updated her computer's registry to start a security program whenever MS-Word was started.  Hopefully, he'll be able to track down this startup process and kill it once and for all.

Next, we were off the the bookstore to buy a 2025 planner.  However, they are no longer sold in the store, as few old timers like us were buying these items.  So, RQS will need to log on to Amazon to find what she wants.  However, while there, both of us bought books we could read, my book being about the Sex Lives of Presidents. (I can't wait to read the juicy bits....)

Finally, we picked up some stuff at the supermarket before we got home.  Once home it was time to cook dinner and time to do laundry.  After dinner, I tripped over RQS, ruining a lampshade in my fall.  I guess it's a visit to Walmart in the morning to replace it.

- - - - - -

As I noted earlier, things did go wrong, but not in the most disastrous way....

Doing nothing in the middle of the week.

 

Today's entry was written on New Years Day.  Neither RQS nor I felt like getting dressed today, so we took care of little things that we could do around the apartment.  Yet, most of the day, we were sitting around and watching YouTube videos.  RQS decided to bake some rye bread, and she took care of that during breaks in videos.

- - - - - -

So, why am I posting today's entry, instead of writing a "thought piece"?  The answer is simple.  I don't want to dwell on current events, as the prospects of what will happen on January 20th gets me upset.  With that being said, I am glad that the late President Carter's death will result in flags flying at half mast throughout most of January.

Over the past few hours, several people from my present and past sent me New Years' wishes, including a woman I once dated. However, the one communication I didn't expect was from DCD's ex-girlfriend, N.  Even though DCD is no longer N's boyfriend, she still tries to throw him some work to help him get by.  Unfortunately, DCD has gone incommunicado since the day after Christmas, and she hasn't been able to reach him for a shift scheduled for the end of the week.  I feel sorry for DCD, as both his age and health will get in the way of a "normal" job.

Several years ago, DCD had a benign brain tumor.  If I had heard him explain why he hasn't been working for a while, I wouldn't hire him due to the health insurance risk my firm might be taking on.  (Another reason for single payer healthcare.  For the time I've known him, DCD has never been able to own up to his failures and learn from them.  Last year, while driving him home from work (after a dinner at a diner), he talkws about his family holding an intervention for him.  Knowing him, he probably retreated into himself and walled himself off from honest criticisms of his behavior.  

When I sold DCD my Honda, I expected that he would be able to pay me $100/month until 24 payments were made.  Although I received 3 payments, he has avoided me since the 3rd payment.  I wouldn't push him into paying me, given that he still wants to try paying child support for his 2 kids.  It is unfortunate that he either refuses to get his support adjusted to reflect his lack of salary, or that he is unable to get the support amount changed due to other actions on his part. So, I will consider it a miracle if he ever finishes paying for the car, as I expect that he will pass away as an indigent without anyone being notified of it.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

RQS would like to get off of the ship at each port of our upcoming cruise.  I feel that it might be risky to travel as Marian and get off at some ports.  Since one of our stops will be in a port I have never visited before, I decided to write to the island's tourist bureau to find out whether I could travel as Marian, and still carry Mario's ID.  Depending on the answer to this question (and others I may have of other authorities), I will either travel as Marian (my preference) or as Mario (my default).

Given all of the positive feelings that have been expressed about Luigi Mangione and the healthcare CEO assassination, I wonder if he can get a fair trial.  A truly impartial jury will be totally ignorant of the world around them, something I wouldn't want for a jury evaluating evidence presented against me.  A biased jury will react to many things, including their opinions about the accused and their victim.  Given that our incoming president is being paid off by the highest bidder, I would love to see our current president pardon Luigi at the end of his term.  This will not affect the New York State case against this man.  But it can send a powerful message to the healthcare industry that the public is sick and tired of the abuses of that industry and will not take it any longer.

RQS noted that my brother tends to tune me out when I talk, possibly because I present facts with details before my conclusions.  Sadly, he doesn't realize that he does something similar.  But then, if we weren't related, we wouldn't bother being friends.  I find it amazing that we came from the same family.  But even more so, he is not a person who is introspective in any way.  I guess that my path in life made it possible for me to improve myself by learning from experiences - something I don't think my brother has done.

Well, enough for now.....

I'm glad the holiday season is over. (A quick post)

By the time you read this, we'll be two weeks into the new year.  I'm looking forward to the downing of Christmas trees, the packing of ornaments, and the cessation of holiday music.

- - - - - -

In this last day of the old year, I got a pleasant surprise - the 401k withdrawal I scheduled was received in time for the 2024 tax year.  This means that any unplanned income I receive in 2025 will not push me into another tax bracket.  Yay!

For the most part, this was a do-nothing day, until we decided to run a few errands, get a bite to eat, and see a movie.  (Who wants to spend New Year's Eve in a place where one knows nobody, save the person sitting opposite you at dinner?)  So, I got dressed in a tunic and leggings, and out the door we went.  Did we do everything we wanted to do?  No!  But we did have a good pizza, and we did do our shopping at the drugstore before going home for the night.

I hope the new year started out well for you....

The darned thing has been assembled, and the old chest is gone!

 

The chest has finally been assembled, and the old one is out of the house.  But this wasn't the simple thing that it sounds like.  

- - - - - -

When we awoke this morning, I had to figure out a way to get the old chest into a place in the living room with enough space for me to slide the new chest in its place.  This was not a task I was going to do as Marian, as I knew I was going to work up a sweat and ruin the nightie that I was given for Christmas.  Instead, I put on the clothes I had worn a couple days before and then started my process.

First, I had already emptied the chest of things I wanted to keep which were previously stored inside. However, I still had to disconnect the TV that sat upon the old chest and place it in a safe place - my bed.  And only then, could I extricate it from its space in my bedroom.  As I pulled it out, it started falling apart, due to it being a cheap piece of furniture from 40+ years ago. Even worse, there was a lot of dust and cobwebs behind the chest that I had to clean out, as I might never go back there for several years.

Once I got the old chest in a safe place, it was time to slide the new chest in its place.  The first problem I encountered was that the sliders didn't help me move the chest past the carpet protectors in my desk area.  To deal with this, I tilted the new chest up, and asked RQS to put sliders back into places where they could again do their function.  The next problem came soon enough.  The new chest was slightly wider than the old chest, and I had to snug it against another chest and my air conditioner.  AARGH!  And this led to the third problem: I had to use a slider to left the adjacent chest 3/8", so that the decorative overhang on the top of the adjacent chest would not be pulled up from the body of that chest. Finally, the new chest was in place, and I began to transfer clothing from another chest to the new chest, giving RQS a place to put her clothes.

Now, I had one more task to take care of: Bringing the old chest down to the dumpster area to be picked up with the next bilk trash pickup.  To do this, I had to lift the old chest over an end table, and then wedge it through the doorway and onto the top landing.  While doing this, the old chest started falling apart,  One crossbeam and a 3/8" laminate board came off the side, making the chest unusable for any scavenger that may come upon it in a dumpster dive.  Other pieces came undone while I dragged the chest down the steps and over to the dumpster area.  A little later, RQS took the drawers and placed them by the (now) destroyed chest.  Sadly, if this chest was as solid as the inexpensive Ikea chest that replaced it, it would still be in my apartment.

- - - - - -

Did I really need to deal with replacing this chest now?  Probably not.  But since the old chest's drawer glides were broken, I could no longer use the chest to store anything I wanted to get at on a regular basis.  Now, I can get to my lingerie and some of my feminine wardrobe without problem.  Maybe now, I can go shopping in my dresser and closet again, and not buy things to only end up in a donation bag several years later.

And now to assemble the darned thing....

 

Today's story starts with what happened overnight.  RQS and I got to sleep late last night, and this would be a minor problem.  Delivery was scheduled for some time between 8 am and noon, and I wanted to be sure to be ready for it.  

Sometime in the middle of night, I had to get up for a bio-break.  Somehow, I wasn't as sure on my feet as I should have been, and tripped in an interesting way.  First, I started falling towards the far end of the bed, and then rebounding to the right until I was stopped by a bedroom chest.   It was if I were drunk, and stumbled across the room.  RQS was worried that I might have hurt myself (I did - a minor bruise on my ankle), and helped me get back on my feet.

After my bio-break, I was back in bed for a couple of hours, then got dressed to await my delivery.  My ankle was hurting a little, and I knew that I couldn't lift the two boxes from the entry to my building to my apartment on my own.  Luckily, the delivery men came at 10 am, and brought the two boxes into the apartment for me to assemble.  And then, it was time for me to go back to sleep - until 2 pm.

 

I started work on the chest sometime after 4 pm, and it was slow going.  Ikea's instructions are written without words.  They only use diagrams to instruct the assembler what pieces to use for each step of the process.  And this can be confusing, as not all of their illustrations are clear enough to use without test fitting the pieces together.  I don't know if this is a deliberate part of the design process.  But I feel that someone with more experience assembling Ikea furniture could have done this faster than I could.  In fact, It wasn't until a little bit after 7 pm that I got the body of the chest put together.  

Shortly after this, we took a break for dinner.Then I started up again around 8:30 pm, finishing around 10 pm.  It was a long time taken to assemble the dresser, and I hope it does the job I want it to do for as long as I need it done.  Is the chest perfect?  No!  I can't open it as fully as I could the old chest, for safety reasons.  But it will hold much of the intimates in my female wardrobe, and that's what's important to me now.

PS: Tomorrow, I'll move the old chest to the trash area and move the new one to the now vacant space.

I inherited a dust collector. (And wish I didn't.)

 

As many of you already know, I scheduled a trip to California this past April to see my uncle, but he passed away 10 days before my arrival.  This weekend, I visited my brother to say hello and came back with the above "dust collector".

But first....

We had been waiting several days for notice that RQS's prescription had made it to the drug store.  Given all of the hassles RQS had at the hospital shortly before Thanksgiving, it made sense for her to pick up the prescription during 2024.  This would allow her to avoid the headache of getting this expensive prescription renewed by a new doctor shortly into the new year, when she'd be under time pressure to both get the prescription renewed and to pick it up.  This notice came two days after Christmas, so we scheduled our visit to RQS's neighborhood over the weekend.

It was strange driving to RQS's place on a Saturday, when there were none of the usual traffic jams that are normally endured while heading towards her place.  If we had choices, we would not have been on the roads, as the fog was so thick that one could barely see well enough to drive.  Yet, we made it to RQS's place, and took care of multiple pharmacy visits.

Next, it was off to see my brother.  It was good to see him, although things are not going well between him and my sister in law.  I won't go into details here, but I will say that he has a strained relationship with his wife that he may be making worse.  As soon as we got there, it was off to a seafood joint that my brother picked out.  Both of us picked the twin lobster dish, while RQS had the lobster roll.  All of us were filled to the gills by the time we left.

When we got back to my brother's house, I gave him a gag gift for Christmas.  This gift was a novelty takeoff on a "Magic 8 Ball", where one could get an answer of "Yes", "No", or "Maybe" by reading the message at the bottom of the ball.  My gift was a "Magic 6 Ball" that I found on Woot.com.  Unlike the 8-Ball, the 6-Ball produces only useless answers.  It'll make for a curious paperweight.  He asked me to hold on for a minute while he went inside the house to pick up something for me.  He returned with a statue that my uncle won for his work in TV.  Now, I have a dust collector that I can not sell, nor wish to give away.  However, I would have rather had the chance to meet him one last time, and to know him better....

You snooze, you lose... (a short post)

 

One of the problems I have is procrastination.  It's a common problem, but one which have caused me to lose out on taking a 401k distribution in 2024.  It's not as much of a big deal as it sounds - I don't need the money right away, but I wanted to get the distribution made in 2024 for tax reasons.  Instead, my delay has likely caused the distribution into tax year 2025.

There are several things going on that I want to take care of in 2025.  One of them is getting a tooth implant, replacing a molar that I lost over a decade ago.  This will help me with chewing, as I put too much wear and tear on one side of my mouth.  Then, I'd like to do some apartment remodeling, specifically in the bathroom, where I want to replace the toilet, vanity (and sink), and medicine cabinet (with electric outlet).  Although I could take this money out of my savings account, I chose to take it out of my 401k.  This way, I can keep my already taxed funds at an acceptable level.

Strangely enough, not having anything to do while RQS is here encouraged me to start finding places for some of the mess in my apartment.  Clothes are migrating back into my closet, replacement furniture is arriving over the weekend, and I'm seeing some results from my minimal labor.  Yet, I have to fight the inclination to put things off, so that I can keep up momentum.  This is the hardest thing to do.

Soon, I'll get back to finding an electrolysist. I still want to clear off the beard from my face once and for all. I'm tired of dealing with shaving on a daily basis.  This is one of the important things I want to do in the new year....   

We'll see what happens during the new year....

There are many levels of paperwork to be dealt with.

 

As I might have mentioned, I am in the process of getting a second passport.  With the lunacy going on in the USA, it would be foolish of any trans person not to have an escape route out of the USA if the worst were to happen.  (Given the similarities of 2024's USA to 1932's Germany, it's not as far fetched as many middle of the road Americans might think.)  To do this, in my case, one has to have a grandparent born in a particular country, then prove that you have a right to citizenship via "Overseas Births".  This means the following:

1. Get a copy of one's grandparent's birth certificate from the country of origin.
   (My brother mailed away to the appropriate people, and got a certified copy of this document.)
   
   
2. Get a copy of the birth certificate that shows one's parent qualified to be a citizen via overseas birthright.  (I was charged to take care of this.)
   
   
3. Get a copy of my birth certificate, showing my father (or mother) was my parent by blood. 
   (This would show that I qualify for citizenship via Overseas Birth.)
   

Steps 1 & 3 didn't take much time.  However, Step 2 took 14 weeks, as New York City and New York State had to be involved with this process.  Now that I have proof of my lineage, I can proceed to the next step - beginning the process of filing paperwork to get citizenship via overseas birth.

- - - - - -

Italy, Ireland, and the United Kingdom are 3 countries which allow for citizenship via overseas births.  However, the UK only provides for patrilineal overseas birth citizenship.  Yet, having an Irish passport allows one to BOTH reside in the European Union and the United Kingdom, as Ireland and the UK have treaties that were in effect before the EU was established.  From what I understand, Germany and Russia also have forms of overseas birth citizenship, but I won't comment on them here.

I also may qualify for a third passport based on my mother's lineage.  If I were to get that, I could travel (and possibly live) anywhere in the British Commonwealth.    Right now, I am focused on getting my 2nd passport based on my father's lineage, as it gives me the most freedom to travel if needed....

Keep your fingers crossed.

Boxing Day - Game night with RQS

 

It was the day after Christmas. And all through the house, every creature was stirring. Yes, even my mouse. (Computer mouse, that is.)  After a busy Christmas day, the last thing we wanted to do was get moving early in the day.

I got out of bed around 9:30 am, and started feeling a little nauseous. By the time 10 am came along, I was ready to throw up, and made my way to the sink to do just that.  As much as this sounds like I was getting sick, I feel that I was reacting to a surplus of sugar in my system from the cookies I ate late the night before.  No matter what the cause was, I avoided eating anything until 2 pm.  And then, I only ate some dry toast to deal with the lack of food in my stomach.

Around 4:00, we started to nuke some food in the microwave.  I heated up a frozen meal without problems.  But when RQS started to heat up her food, the microwave made some weird noises and shut off.  She then ended up warming up her food on the stove.  Something had to be wrong with the circuitry in the microwave, as it would keep beeping if we closed the door.  So we left the door open, and made it a point to buy a new microwave before the day was out.

At 5 pm, we left for the appliance store to get a new microwave.  We got there a little after 6 pm, and were ignored for more than 15 minutes until I got the sales manager himself to ring up the sale.  At least, we got a staff member to haul the new microwave to the car - it's nice to play the "little old lady" card.  They wouldn't have helped a man bring the microwave unit to his car....

We stopped for a fast food dinner, and then went to game night.  It was nice to have RQS with me while we played our game.  Although I had played the game once before, I let the host explain the game to RQS. But she wasn't getting the hang of the game due to its  operational complexity.  Yet, we both had fun, and look forward to the next game night.

Christmas Day - Post Mortem

 

I hope all of my readers have had a very Happy Holiday season.  As you can see, this is how I looked on Christmas Eve.  What you can't see are my stockings falling to my knees because I didn't since the waist of the false garter stockings high enough.  (I also don't like how the dress is sitting in this picture, but that's another issue that can be handled by Photoshop.)

RQS and I didn't get moving until 3:00 pm, as we knew we could make a 5:00 pm dinner on Christmas Eve.  This would be the best dinner so far of the holiday season, as we also has a 5:00 pm dinner in New Jersey with TCL.  Today, we had to be out the door by 3:15 pm to make it to TCL's place by 4:45 pm, and we just made it in time.

After a few minutes of waiting, the three of us made it to a Chinese Restaurant in Mahwah.  Unlike the past times we were at this place, service was slow and sloppy.  At least, the food was decent.  Mind you, I'd have gotten much better food in NYC, but one takes what one can get in suburbia.  Both RQS and I felt that the quality of food and service has gone down a notch, and we will likely hunt for another place to eat next year.

Following dinner, we went back to TCL's place, where we had some tea and cookies.  To say that her place had a strong cat odor would be putting it mildly - I'd bet that her two male cats had been marking territory, and that TCL had grown insensitive to the odor.  (I'm glad that I don't have to take care of cats any longer.)

All in all, it was a nice day.  Yet, I'm glad that Christmas is over until next year.

Christmas Eve

 

The day started off by our need to do some laundry before going out for the evening. There were two baskets that needed to be taken care of, and I didn't want to let this task slide any longer.  So, I got dressed and started down the stairs with the two baskets.  And then....  OOPS!  I tripped and dropped the baskets,  I was lucky not to take a fall myself.  But I had to sort out my laundry before continuing on to the laundry room.

About two hours later, my laundry was done, and I was able to get dressed in my new sweater dress.  Originally, I planned to wear tights to cover my legs,  But, RQS was wearing stockings attached to garters.  So I decided to wear my mock garter stockings to keep up with her "Girly Game", as well as a matching bra and panties.  Both of us were concerned about how cold we'd feel when we went outside.  As for me, I felt a little vulnerable, as I was wearing less on my lower body than I usually wear and felt as if I was wearing almost nothing under my dress.

Shortly before 5, we arrived at the restaurant (Peter Pratt's Inn), and enjoyed a hearty meal.  RQS ordered seafood themed dishes (mussels, then scallops), while I ordered duck themed dishes (duck quesadilla, then duck two ways). We both finished our meals with Caramel Cheesecake, and felt wonderfully sated without feeling stuffed. In short, we had a great meal.

Next, we were off to Ossining for Christmas Eve services at the local church.  This is becoming a routine for us, as this was the second year that we have been able to be there on Christmas Eve.  It was nice to be able to connect with my past memories.  RQS enjoyed the service, and might want to go to an occasional service during the rest of the year.

Once the service was over, it was time to go home.  After midnight, we decided to open our gifts.  RQS was happy with my gifts.  And I was pleasantly surprised by RQS's gifts - in addition to a men's watch (which could go with my feminine wardrobe), she gave me a nice assortment of sexy lingerie.  (I guess we're both upping each other's "Girly Game" as our relationship progresses.)  Then it was off to bed for the night.

Now that the holidays are over, I can catch up on my posts.

 

RQS usually comes to my place on Friday afternoons and goes back home on Mondays.  If I go to her place, I'll usually arrive on a Friday, and leave on a Sunday or Monday depending on which side of the street I was able to park.  This holiday season is different.  RQS came up on a Friday, and will not leave here (with one exception) until after holiday season ends.  So I'll be catching up with occasional posts which describe what happened....

- - - - - -

The weekend before Christmas followed our usual pattern.  RQS arrived on Friday, and we ended up going out to a Chinese restaurant in Mohegan Lake.  (It was a choice between having Mexican for the 3rd time that week, or having something different.  Different won out.)  Once we were finished with dinner, we drove home for the evening.

Saturday came, and we ended up taking care of a couple of errands before driving to Ikea.  I wanted to replace a chest of drawers which is gradually falling apart with a cheap, but tolerably solid unit.  This would allow me to port clothing from one chest to the new chest, allowing RQS to be able to store more of her clothes at my place.  This would make it easier for her to stay for longer periods of time, when she has nothing much to do at her place.

Why did we go on Saturday, and not Sunday?  Bergen county, New Jersey has "Blue Laws" which limit the types of business which can be conducted on Sundays.  Furniture sales is not one of the permitted business activities.  So, we had to make it to Ikea on Saturday.  Otherwise, we would have to wait until after Christmas to check out the chest.  Once there, we wandered through the store until we found the chest in which I was interested.  RQS mentioned that I wasn't sure of the chest's dimensions, and convinced me that I should wait until I was sure of the measurements of the chest.  (I had previously measured the chest, but lost my confidence in my measurements, given that I had done this over a month ago.)  So, we browsed the store and bought a couple of things before leaving.  Just before we checked out our goods, we looked at the packaging for the unassembled chest - each of the two boxes weighed more than I wanted to lift into the car.  This meant that I would order the chest, and let someone else deliver the packages to my apartment.

Although we talked about stopping by Lane Bryant while in the neighborhood, holiday shopping traffic in Paramus scuttled this plan, and we went home for the night....

Idiocracy

 

With what's going on in America these days, I wonder if we're already in an Idiocracy.  The movie was supposed to be one big joke.  Yet, somehow, reality is becoming stranger than fiction.

- - - - - -

To start, I'll note that as I have become more educated, my politics have turned leftward.  No, it is not because my core values have changed.  But it is because I understand the world as a complex system that has no ideal solutions to its many problems.  People who lean right see the world in simplistic terms, as if the universe was a simple binary system.  

Unfortunately, the more complex a system becomes, the more unlikely it is to work well as there are a greater number of failure points.  America was designed well for simpler times.  Our constitution was designed to be flexible enough to be adopted to changing times.  But the one thing that couldn't be foreseen was that as our nation grew and technology advanced, that we would have millions of poorly educated people stuck in dead-end jobs, bereft of opportunities to advance themselves.  To make things worse, each of these uneducated people has an equal power in their votes which determine the direction our country takes.  Since each of these poorly educated people is a point of failure in our nation, no wonder why we are so dysfunctional as a nation.

Our founding fathers' big mistake was to assume that the majority of men (now people) running this country would be people of reasonable virtue.  They could not foresee a time where a person like our president to be could get elected by lying in his campaign statements.  Although educated people did not believe these lies, the poorly educated echoed them as if they were truth, helping to get this convicted criminal elected president.

When one looks at the president to be and his cabinet nominations, one sees great incompetence ready to take over the reins of government.  The best example of these bad choices is RFK jr. to be in charge of the nation's health.  Vaccinations have been responsible for the eradication of Polio; the reduction (if not elimination) of diseases such as Rubella, Whooping Cough, Measles and Mumps; as well as helping to slow down the spread of Covid-19.  Yet, RFK jr. is the darling of the conspiracy set who believe that vaccinations should be banned.  I have met the man, and found him to be lacking in the things needed to be an effective leader.  And he is only the tip of an iceberg.

I fear what will happen on inauguration day.  Will we be a nation run by idiots?  Or, will congress and the courts come to their senses and stop the executive branch from hastening the decline of our nation?  Only time will give us an answer to these questions....

Frustration - a short post about something other than transgender life

 

I recently attended a co-op board meeting.  Although I won't go into details about what we discussed, I will go into some of my observations in regard to this meeting....

- - - - - -

Knowing what was going to happen at the meeting, I knew to allocate 3 hours of my evening for the board.  This got in the way of my finally doing laundry, but this was my laziness' fault and not the board's fault.  Around 6 pm, I opened up the meeting, and the president gave us the latest status updates on matters of concern.

Around 6:30, we interviewed an applicant who wants to live here, and we reported the result of our vote to the site manager from the old company.  After that, the outgoing site manager gave his report, and we relayed our concerns to him.  But this isn't what frustrated me.  One board member was trying to slow down our decision making, something which would cost the co-op (and our shareholders) big bucks.  I was almost at my breaking point when I told her in no uncertain terms - stop getting in the way.  No one is going to come out of the blue and rescue us - we have to deal with our problems ourselves.  Both the president of the co-op and I are tired of this lady.  She has nothing to offer, and only stands in the way of making any real decisions.

When the meeting ended, I chatted with the board's president about my frustrations, noting that I will take care of a letter that has to be sent out before Xmas.  The problem is that our outgoing management firm may either slow walk the letter, or simply not send it out in time for our shareholders to deal with upcoming changes.  Hopefully, we will get things done on time....

I can't believe I ate the whole thing....

 

 
I was supposed to meet my friend from the census for lunch today.  However, I screwed things up in confirming our get together, and we had to postpone things for 3 weeks.  There is much I had to talk about, and I guess that will have to wait until we recover from holiday season.  But this didn't stop me from having a nice meal out.  No, No, No!  I ended up having lunch at the Mexican joint down the hill from me, and spent money that I didn't need to spend.

It was not easy for me to get up and ready for dinner with the meetup group.  My bed was comfortable, and I was lying on a heating pad being used to help me deal with some back pain I've had for the past couple of days.  Yet, I made sure to get dressed again, and out the door for a second restaurant meal of the day.

Finding a parking space at the lot in back of the restaurant was impossible. Almost everyone seemed to be having their holiday dinners.  Instead of circling the lot for an hour or so, I went to the new parking garage across the street from the first lot, then walked to the restaurant in the rain.  (Too bad that there was no place to put the umbrella when I got to my table, but I digress....)  Of the 4 people who were there when I arrived, I didn't know anyone.  But soon the people I knew came to the table.  

My stomach must be getting smaller, as I was filled after eating a small bowl of chili with chips.  Yet, I had a light salad afterwards - something I wish I had skipped.  Too bad that the restaurant was crowded, as it took forever to get my food.  I'd have liked someone to bus the table earlier, so I didn't have my dirty plates sitting in front of me.  Luckily, the person next to me wasn't eating, so she didn't mind me spreading out a little.

Being in a loud restaurant with a lot of noise isn't pleasing to me.  So, once I paid my bill, I was out the door and on the way home.  Did I enjoy the day?  Not that much.  But I did enjoy some of the food....

 

PS: If you can't remember where I got the title of this entry, watch this old ad.

 

 

And now: Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

 

When I was young, I loved watching this show.  Yes, it was campy.  But it was fun to watch.  It's a shame that this show was done with a campy style, as the tone of the Batman comics was much darker in spirit.  But what does this have to do with my life?

Well, many of us have to live two separate lives.  One out of circumstance, and the other out of choice.  The first life is what others expect of you.  The other is what you expect from yourself.  Most of the time, our outer and inner lives are in rough synchronization with each other.  Other times, they are not.  In the case of the fictional crime fighter, his Batman persona was a way of coping with the damage done to him in his past.  In my case, it is my true spirit coming out of a cocoon.

Last night (as I write this), I had a conversation with Vicki.  She noted that my personality as Mario and Marian is the same person, just expressed in two very different ways.  RQS sees this, regardless of what clothing I am wearing.  But what is this difference?  Vicki feels that Marian's personality expression reflects the lack of both the familial emotional damage done to Mario as a child and the social emotional damage that would have been done to Marian had she been born with a female body.  There is a certain emotional strength in Marian that Mario could never have, as she never suffered the blows that most children have received while growing up.

Why is this important?

I realize that I never want to give up my life as Marian for anything.  Yet, it is threatened by the undercurrents of today's politics.  A conservative gay man who made a case for same-sex marriage long before it was the law of the land once noted that he was surprised to see this happen in his lifetime.  Same-sex marriage only challenges one of one of our traditional beliefs: Heterosexual relationships are a cornerstone of our society's values.  Society begrudgingly acknowledged gay and lesbian rights and moved on to other struggles.  But that left transgender people with fewer allies.  

The existence of transgenders challenges something more basic in society, the idea that people could be born with the mind of one gender, but be housed in the body of the other.  I'm reminded of a joke from the "Addams Family Values" movie where Morticia delivers her newborn child.  Gomez pops out into the waiting room where everyone is asking: "What is it?"  And Gomex proudly announces: "It's an Addams!"  It's not the answer most of us were expecting to hear, but it is an equally correct one that challenges our standard mode of thinking.  To most of us, one's sex/gender is the most basic form of identification one can have - and it is fixed at birth.  To Gomez, it is simply that he had a healthy child.

Right now, my rights are protected in most of the "Blue States".  But they are being attacked in congress, as Sarah McBride may be denied her right to go to the women's loo in peace.  Sarah understands the nature of the game.  But most people do not.  They see the world in binary terms such as reproductive gender and not the fluidity found throughout nature.

As for me, I will continue exercising my rights to go out as Marian, as this is the personality that best fits who I am.  She may evolve, like most of us do over time.  Yet, she will feel more like a whole person while doing so. This is the most important thing to me - to be true to myself.

Happy New Year - 2025

 

Happy New Year!!!!

(My regular posts will resume tomorrow.)

Thinking about the year soon gone.

 

RQS and I seem to be spending most of our free time together, and we've got a routine that seems to be working for us.  This got me thinking about how my life has changed over the past few years, and how things seem to be crystalizing into something nice this past year.

- - - - - -

At the beginning of the year, I was concerned about visiting my uncle before he passed away.  Sadly, this did not happen, and I ended up taking a California Coastal Cruise by myself - one of the few times I've traveled lately without her.  (Yes, I will note that I booked my Hawaii cruise before I met her, but I did offer to have her come with me on the cruise.)  Our big trip was our Norwegian Cruise in June   And then, we took 2 separate cruises to Bermuda.  Cruising has become our favorite form of vacation, but the idea of visiting places already visited has diminished.  We want to experience new places.  And that may mean changing how we travel and where we go.

As we age, we have to worry a bit about changes in our health.  RQS has had her health problems, and I have had my issues.  I will soon need to search for a new GP, as my doctor is getting old.  He's a good doctor, but I have my issues about reaching his office, and the quality of his staff.  My sleep doctor is retiring at year end, and I need to find out who I will need to see for future follow-ups.  Luckily, the doctor who performed my colonoscopy is young, and I will likely be able to see him when I next need to have the lower part of my GI-Tract inspected.

Getting older often means that one will see his/her peers gradually die off.  Earlier this year, one of the people with whom I went to college suddenly passed away.  My cousin passed away just before RQS and I went on one of our Bermuda cruises.  And last night, I was told that the clinical supervisor for my feminine speech training at Mercy College had passed away due to a heart attack.  I live one of the more unhealthy lifestyles of people I know.  Yet, I've been lucky enough to maintain my addictions to air, water and food.  

Now that I've been out of the workforce for 2+ years, I miss work for only one reason - the social aspect of being in an office.  Towards the end of my work life, I knew that my efforts were underappreciated.  At the bank, I was no longer in the location where the company was growing, I was in a field that was quickly dying off, and I had been unable to make the transition to a new skill set in time to maintain my value to the corporation.  I was a misfit for the first job after leaving the bank .  And then, the next 2 jobs had no room for future growth.  So I'm glad that I have my days to myself.

Even with having days to myself, I'm finding that I'm attending fewer meetups.  More of them are being held on weekends, and I am no longer free on weekends.  More of my time is committed to being with RQS (and her time with me) than I ever had with XGFJ.  We stumbled into a solid relationship, and I make sure to tell her how lucky I feel that she's with me on this part of my journey through life.  Contrast this with my brother's life.  My sister in law's illness has put extreme stress on their relationship, and he stays away from the house to maintain his peace of mind.  Earlier in the year, he booked a Mediterranean cruise for August, and then cancelled it for reasons other than he wanted to mention - I think my sister in law's illness played a part in his decision.  Virtually all of his travel now is without his wife, and I feel sorry that they do not travel together to see their offspring.  I wouldn't trade my life with RQS for his life with his wife.  I prefer to spend my time with RQS when possible.

I am worried about what will happen over the next 4 years.  The president-elect is being reckless with his nominations, and will likely alienate us from the free world.  More important to me is the GOP's attitude towards transgender people.  Although I could live in stealth mode, I don't trust the powers that be not to violate my civil rights.  So I am working on getting a second passport.

So many things are in flux right now.  And yet, I feel calm.  Somehow, I'll find a way to survive and prosper - in spite of the world around me.

 

A day spent doing nothing. (A quick post.)

 

Last night, I decided to wear something pretty to bed.  Little did I know that neither RQS nor I would bother to get dressed to go out today. Thankfully, my apartment is warm enough that I could wear a "little nothing" and feel comfortable all day.

We had no plans for the day, and given the outside temperature, it didn't make sense to go outside.  Instead, RQS straightened out my kitchen while I emptied out a chest of drawers, so that I could buy a more functional chest from Ikea next weekend.  I could then move stuff from the chest that currently holds part of my female wardrobe to a chest whose drawers open and close without difficulty.  (Would it make sense for me to repair the old chest?  Yes.  But I don't have the woodworking tools to take care of this simple task.)

Once our tasks were done, it was time to relax.  And we did so for the rest of the day.  We thought about booking another cruise from a last minute booking list.  But we held off.  I wasn't sure if RQS could afford another trip, and I didn't want to encourage her to take any trips she couldn't afford.

- - - - - -

Luckily, I had more than enough in the house to make a decent dinner.  However, I know that my GP will read the riot act to me when I see him this coming week.  I shudder to get on the scale, as I don't want to know how much I weigh.  Yet, I need to ask the doctor a couple of questions, and this will be my one opportunity to do so.

A visit to the bank and a feast at home

 

As I am one of two people who have signatory powers for the co-op, I was expected to meet the board's president at the bank for whatever tasks were needed as we transfer our operating account from one bank to another, one management company to another.  Since I am only known to the bank as Mario, this determined how I'd dress for the rest of the day.  (The cold weather outside reinforced the decision to dress in Mario mode today as well.)

Around 11 am, I arrived at the bank, and found that our president had mostly completed work at the bank.  All that was left for me was to email a copy of a form to the new managing agent, and to collect reimbursement money for renewing our Zoom account.  And then, we were done.  Now, it was time to rest until I had to pick RQS up at the train station.

At 3:45 pm, I picked RQS up at the station, and then we took a drive to Yorktown and Uncle Giuseppe's.  (Uncle Giuseppe's is an Italian Specialty supermarket with locations in the NYC suburbs.)  Unlike Trader Joe's, where I have a hard time breaking $50 in a typical visit, I broke $100 at Uncle Giuseppe's on this visit.  And this visit only resulted in less than 2 supping bags worth of food.  At least, we got our meal for the night - Zuppa de Pesce. Our next stop was at the Foodtown, where I only wanted to pick up some fresh pasta that I forgot at our prior stop.  And that's where RQS accidentally flushed ker keys down the toilet.  Now, that forced us to get some keys cut sometime this weekend.  

We finally got home and relaxed before I started to prepare dinner - and it was tasty.  Both RQS and I enjoyed our meal and the dessert we had afterwards.  But now, we had another thing to take care of this weekend....