Wednesday, May 21, 2025

A meetup at a new fast food / ice cream shop.


This is the way I remember this corner of a local strip mall.  Subway never does well in most of its locations, and whatever was next to Subway was long gone before the Google Street View photo car came by.  Now, these two storefronts have been combined into a single outlet selling Nathan's hot dogs, Arthur Treacher's seafood (as part of Nathan's) and Mister Softee ice cream.  When I signed up for a meetup at this place, I knew not to expect anything of high quality - I'd have a slightly higher range of food offerings than the local Mickey D's to choose from, and forget just as fast.

- - - - - -

Today, I decided to get up late and then watch some TV for a while.  Around 4:00 pm, I decided to get showered and dressed to go to the meetup.  While getting ready to shave my face before applying makeup, my rotary shaver's head unit wouldn't lock in place making it useless.  Thankfully, I had another shaver in the carry-on I had on my recent cruise, so I shaved with that instead.  (I'll receive a replacement head unit from Amazon tomorrow, so the travel shaver can go back in the carry-on.)

Around 5:00 pm, I drove to Yorktown and found DS waiting.  We placed our orders as others attending the meetup came in.  One woman who I met at another meetup struck up a conversation and I can tell that she was focusing a lot on what I had to say, and not with the others at our table,  (If I were presenting as Mario, I'd assume she wanted me to ask her out due to the way she was touching me in animated conversation.)  After we finished what passed for dinner, DS left early while the rest of us had some ice cream.

At 7:30 pm, the rest of us left the place, and I went to Walmart to pick up some makeup tools (brushes, powder, etc.) so that I can leave a second, full makeup kit at RQS's place.  It'll be a while until I finish filling the kit.  But once it's ready, I'll start making regular trips to RQS's place in Marian mode.

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

I'm finally home for a while (a short post)

 


After a week away from home, what do I say?  I needed to get away, but I didn't feel as free as I did a year ago.  And all of this is because of the evil orange snowflake causing havoc in DC.  Even on a ship with a TV News station with middle-of-the-road bias, I still couldn't escape hearing about what damage this clown is doing to America.  AARGH!!!!

- - - - - -

When RQS and I got back to her place, we relaxed for a while, and tried to avoid any YouTube video which would drone on and on about the Snowflake and his illegal actions.  And even then, Saturday Night Live did what I expected - they made fun of his latest actions.  Luckily (and this is rare for me), I fell asleep before Weekend Update, finally disconnecting from the world for a while.

This morning, I woke up early and started editing both this blog and my travel related blog.  Work I needed to do on this blog was relatively quick.  However, it took me several hours to get the other blog entry into a shape where it can be published.  Hopefully, my review will prove useful to cruisers who wish to take a similar itinerary with MSC in the future.

Given that we expected rain throughout the day, I decided to go home early, so that I can rest for a bit before attempting to do anything of value.  Although I got home by 2 pm, I didn't get around to doing anything until 6:00 pm.  And even then, I didn't do much. 

- - - - - -

Soon, I'll be going on another cruise, this time to New England and Canada.  Will I be willing to take this cruise as Marian?  The way politics are going, I doubt it.  But, as Fats Waller might say: "One never knows, do one?"

Monday, May 19, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Disembarkation Day / Arriving in New York (05/03/25)


Disembarkation Day - It's always the worst day of the cruise for me.  First, I have to say farewell to any friends I might have made on the cruise.  But more, it's the return to the real world and its problems that is the biggest shock.

- - - - - -

Neither RQS nor I slept well the night before, and our alarms woke us up shortly before 6:00 am.  This would give us enough time to get showered and dressed, then enough time to finish our final packing chores before going to breakfast one last time.  Once we got ready to leave the room, we did a final scan to make sure we left nothing behind, then went to breakfast.

Breakfast on the last day of the cruise can seem a little rushed.  One has to be ready at all times to disembark.  Yet, one wants the time to enjoy a good breakfast and relax until one's departure group is called.  On our way to the dining room, we passed by the long line of people of "Self-Assist" passengers, people who would be leaving the ship early with all of their luggage - none would be picking up any luggage at the pier.  We sat down to breakfast and had a nice conversation with the people next to us before finding a place to wait until our disembarkation group was called.

There are several disembarkation groups.  First are the Self-Assist passengers.  Then come the passengers who have transfers and tours arranged by the cruise line.  And finally, it's time for the remaining disembarkation groups to be called.  The last time we were on this ship (and in the same room), we were assigned to one of the latest group numbers.  This time, we were assigned one of the earliest group numbers.  Instead of leaving the ship around 9:00 am, we left around 8:00 am.  This made it possible for us to pick up our luggage, clear customs, and make it to the ferry stop by 8:30 am - just in time to catch the second ferry of the day from Red Hook.  

Taking the ferry from Red Hook allows us to avoid traffic jams around the cruise terminal.  Normally, we'd take the ferry one stop, get off at Atlantic Avenue and summon an Uber from there.  Since this was the second ferry of the day on the South Brooklyn route, it skips all stops before Pier 11 (Wall Street) on its way to Corlears Hook.  This caused us to transfer to the East River route at Pier 11, and get off at the South Williamsburg stop.  Since this was the first stop of the day in South Williamsburg, ship staff has to unlock the gate for people to get on and off the dock.  Well, they forgot to do so and had to return to the pier to open the gate.

Once on dry land, we had to summon an Uber.  We found it much easier to do at this stop than at Atlantic Avenue, as we could validate the address that the driver received would be the same address we could see from where we were. (Think of building address and street signage here.)  While waiting for the Uber, we did some people watching. It was interesting to see the intersection of modern culture with the old: Hasidic Jews (the Old) and Hipsters (the New) in the same Brooklyn neighborhood. Once the Uber came, we zoomed through city streets and onto the BQE beyond the traffic jam zone.

We got home by 10:00 am and then crashed.  It was a long morning, and we needed to rest.  And that would be the theme for the rest of the day....

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Sea Day #2 (05/02/25)

This would be our last full day on the ship, and we had errands to take care of - namely deciding what we pack in our big suitcases, and what we pack in our carry-ons.  In my case, the bulk of the dirty laundry goes in the big suitcases with my dress shoes, ties, and other stuff I won't need.  And the stuff I will need (or will have with me) has to go in the carry-on or backpack.  Either way, this is a pain in the neck, and something I hate doing at the end of every cruise.

- - - - - -

The day started out with us getting up early enough to have one last leisurely breakfast on the ship.  After breakfast, we retired to the stern of the ship to relax while the steward had a chance to make up our bed and drop off disembarkation information (with luggage tags).  Around noon, we had our last lunch on the ship, and this time, things went perfectly with wait staff service.  On my way back to the cabin, the lady from the table next to us asked me whether I was a teacher, and we got into a conversation for a few minutes.  Finally back in the cabin, I found that the room steward had made up the room and placed disembarkation information (with luggage tags) on our bed.

We packed our large suitcases, and got them ready to go out later in the evening.  And then, we went to our last dinner on the ship.  The wait staff made to ensure it was a final celebration of this cruise, and left all in the room wishing this wouldn't end.  Sadly, our stomachs were full, our hunger and thirst were sated, and the restaurant staff had to make the room ready for the late seating.  So, it was off to our cabin to rest for a while, then seeing the comedian for one last set before leaving the ship in the morning.


Saturday, May 17, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Port Day #3 / Departing Bermuda (05/01/25)

 


This would be a short, last day in Bermuda for us.  Due to GI-Tract issues I have, I decided to stay near the ship while RQS went to the Clocktower Mall to do some last minute shopping.  This would prove to be the best thing we could have done, as I barely had any warning before my GI Tract demanded attention.

But first....

I woke up at 4:00, and took care of my GI Tract's first attack on my body - and I survived.  But I knew it would be back for another round later on in the day.  So, I tried to go back to sleep for as long as I could before the two of us decamped for breakfast.

Buffet breakfasts are rarely memorable, and this one was far from worth remembering.  I had rushed to get showered and dressed in order to get some hot food from the buffet trays.  This time, I picked up some hash browns, sausage, and some hard boiled eggs - and had as enjoyable a breakfast that could be had in the buffet.  After this, I went back to the cabin, while RQS went for one last visit onshore to do some shopping.

When RQS returned, it was back to the buffet for a late lunch.  While there, a lady sat next to us, and we started discussing cruising, shifting over to politics.  This woman was a rare breed in Florida - a passionate liberal.  And this allowed us to talk about politics.  Later on, I felt safe in showing her how I looked as Marian - and she didn't flinch.  

A couple of hours later, we went to dinner and had a nice meal.  As much as I liked the octopus dish, there wasn't enough octopus and too much stewed vegetables to have me order it again.  The salmon I had for the main course was good, but I was glad to have a plate of Pasta Alfredo in front of me - RQS's lamb shank wasn't done right, and she had to wait to get one from the kitchen.

Although we had reservations to see the comedian again, we passed on it to let our food digest.  This was a good day, and we'll hate to be back in New York this weekend.


Friday, May 16, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Port Day #2 (04/30/25)


Today, we planned to take the ferry to St. George, a town on the other end of Bermuda.  To do this, we had to get out of the cabin early, eat breakfast, and show up at the ferry dock by 11:15 am.  And this meant interrupting our sleep to do so.

But first....

Often, we get into a routine on cruise ships where we are either late for breakfast, or proceed to an early lunch. We didn't have that luxury today, as there were only 2 ferries to St. George in the morning, and 1 returning ferry in the evening.  If we got stuck, we'd have to catch a bus to Hamilton, and then catch another bus to the Dockyards.  Instead of a 30-45 minute ride, the return trip could turn into a 2 hour journey.  So we made sure that we were early for both the outgoing ferry and for the return ferry.

Arriving at St. George, we found it emptier than the last time we were here.  It was much more mellow than the last time we were here.  Within the first hour of arriving in St. George, we had lunch at a local restaurant - across the water from where the town crier was "Dunking" a local "Hag" (both the crier and hag played their roles well) with the help from some bystanders.  Inside the restaurant, things were much more mellow.  A musician was playing soft rock standards while I ate my Fish and Chips and RQS ate her Fish sandwich.  When we were done, we went to look for a nearby perfume factory - which we never found.

On our way to the perfume factory, we stopped at a local museum.  RQS took the tour of the building, while I got into a conversation with a local.  Both of us had a good time there.  But Cinderella had lost her slipper, and she had to be home by midnight - the ferry was scheduled to leave at 4, and we didn't want to miss it.  Once at the ferry dock, I got into a conversation from someone who used to work at a building near my childhood church, and we continued for over 30 minutes, in direct sunlight before getting on line to take the ferry. Eventually, the ferry started taking passengers, and we got on for the ride home.  By now, my scalp had had more than a healthy share of sunlight, and I knew I'd have a nice sunburn when I got back on the ship. But it was worth the sunburn to have had the nice conversation I had.

We took a break for a little while before going to dinner.  Both of us were stuffed to the gills before the meal ended.  At least, service was on target today.  And if I had thought of it, I'd have asked for a dinner portion of the mussels with a side of mixed veggies - the mussels were that good.  Instead, I had the beef short ribs (which were ok) with pasta topped with Bolognese sauce on the side.  (I should have had more mussels!)  

It was a good day, and we hope to enjoy our remaining time in Bermuda tomorrow.



Thursday, May 15, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Port Day #1 (04/29/25)

 


Bermuda, at last!  It's been a while since we were here, and we haven't yet decided what to do.  So we ended up going ashore for a while, then taking it easy on the ship.

But first....

The weather in Bermuda is often warmer than it is in New York.  Today was an exception to the rule, as we needed our early spring clothes (long sleeved shirts, windbreaker and full length trousers) to go outside - something we found out right after breakfast.  To make sure we made it to the main dining room for breakfast, we woke up around 7 am and made it to the dining room just before 8:30.

Once we were seated, another couple sat down next to us, and cruising became the topic of conversation.  The couple had taken an MSC Mediterranean cruise, and it was very different in style and ambiance than MSC's American subsidiary.  They noted that people were coming onboard and leaving the ship at almost every port (no Jones Act / Passenger Vessel Services Act problems in Europe), and it felt strange in comparison to North American based cruises.  But the thing they noticed first and foremost was how many people smoked, and how much they smoked.  I don't think I'd want to be on a ship where I'd have to air out my clothing every day to avoid getting sick.

After breakfast, we took it easy for a while, then walked off the ship.  It took us a while, but we bought a 1-day Bermuda transit pass (bus and ferries) that we plan to use to reach the other side of Bermuda tomorrow.  And then, we browsed the Clocktower Mall before going back to the ship.  It was nice to be on land for a couple of hours, and it will be nicer to spend the whole day there tomorrow.

We rested when we returned to the ship, and then went to dinner at our new assigned table.  As usual, the food was good and filling.  But service wasn't that great - I had to ask our waiter a couple of times before my wine was brought to the table.  RQS had to request a second portion of ice cream, as they did not deliver the sugar-free variety they had the night before.

A little over an hour later, we went to the ship's theater to watch a comedian, Joe Materese, perform.  Strangely enough, he was able to tell Italian jokes without offending anyone.  But then, being Italian, he was able to poke a little fun at his background without getting anyone upset.  I had to leave the theater a little early, so that I could take a bio-break.  Yet, I saw enough of this act to make me want to see his 18+ show later on in the week.



PS: Universal Standard's Mystery Box sale ended today.  Instead of buying one of these boxes, I decided to buy a simple chambray dress with a 25% discount.   RQS said it was well worth the money.

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Sea Day #1 / Gala Night (04/28/25)


Today, we were at sea, on our way to Bermuda.  And we knew we'd be dressing up for dinner tonight. But first, brunch....

We decided to get up late, and make it to the dining room for brunch at 11 am.  As expected, we had to wait for 15 minutes before being seated - and then, at a shared table.  Although the Bucatini Carbonara portion looked small, it was very filling.  Sadly, the noise level in the restaurant was so loud, that we couldn't enjoy a conversation with our table mates.  And, as expected, service quality left something to be desired.

We took a rest before dinner, and eventually changed for gala night.  RQS put on a nice dress and I reluctantly dressed in a men's suit before going to have our photos taken. While our photos were being taken, some woman in her own world decided to ignore what we were doing and I had to shout a little to get her off the stairs and get our pictures taken.

Once done with the photo shoot, we went to dinner.  Our friends from the night before were seated with their travel group across the room, and we were stuck with another group who sounded like they came from the "Brooklyn cast" of "My Cousin Vinny."  Everything you can say about loud, boorish people could be said about this group, as well as the friends who were sitting nearby.  When we were done with dinner, we asked to be moved to another table for the rest of the week, so that we would not be sitting near this boorish group.

Our request was accommodated, and we hoped that tomorrow we will have a better night's dining than we did tonight....



PS: One thing of note - RQS said that if we take the Atlantic Crossing together on the Queen Mary 2 (with me presenting as Marian), that she wants me to learn how to dance.  I readily accepted that offer.  One question though - who will lead on the dance floor?

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Bermuda Cruise 2025 - Embarkation Day / Leaving New York (04/27/25)

 

The day got off to an inauspicious start.  We woke up early, got showered and dressed, and took an overpriced Uber to the pier.  (I shouldn't put it that way - we needed to get there on the day of the Brooklyn Half-Marathon, and the price is what the market would bear.)  We weren't surprised about the traffic jam leaving the terminal area.  But we were surprised to quickly make it from the Atlantic avenue exit on the BQE to the Brooklyn Cruise terminal.  

Arriving at the cruise terminal before noon can be a problem when a cruise is fully booked.  But with the ship having propulsion problems, people were arriving early, so that they would make it onto the ship before its planned early departure.  As for us, we were out of our Uber and through the terminal, finally reaching our cabin in less than 20 minutes.  This is a record for us boarding this MSC ship.

Once onboard, we tried to go to the one sit-down restaurant that was open for lunch - and were told that they were full, not accepting new diners.  (Why didn't they keep this restaurant open longer, or open up one of the other dining rooms?  They should know the general expectations of their cruisers by now.  But I digress.)  So, we ended up going to the buffet, where I ended up staining my shirt with pizza drippings and having an unsatisfying lunch.


After a rest, we went to dinner at the same place where we tried to have lunch - and met a nice couple from New Jersey.  We (mostly me) chatted with the couple, and I think they were entertained by the chat.  Hopefully, we'll see them tomorrow.  

Once dinner was over, we retreated to our room, and had a nice conversation with our room steward.  After the next cruise, he will be going home to the Philippines to surprise his wife and 2 children for his wife's birthday.  We chatted about things involving cruising, as well as some of the places we'd like to go.  As much as we could have talked longer, RQS reminded us that he had 3 other cabins to service, and that we needed some rest.


All in all, this was a good day.

 

Monday, May 12, 2025

I am finally cruising again! (a short post)

 

By the time you read this, RQS and I will have returned from our most recent Bermuda cruise on the MSC Meraviglia.  We have been haunted by a curse on most of our Bermuda cruises so far.  On our first cruise, someone fell into RQS's leg, and she was crippled for several weeks.  Our next cruise had its scheduled Bermuda port time shortened by 2 days, leaving us with a single port day on a 7-day cruise. Finally, on our 3rd cruise, we had 3 port days in Bermuda - and in all of them we had good weather.  This time, the ship has propulsion issues which is forcing us to arrive earlier at the pier - who knows whether our time in Bermuda will be shortened or not.  I don't.

This time, I am much more ambivalent about cruising than usual, given political events in this country.  Hopefully, nothing unexpected will happen.  But if it does, I will report it here if possible.  I figure that this trip will be a form of current litmus trip on how Customs and Border control will treat an American who despises the snowflake.  I expect things may get worse over time, as we move towards being an autocracy. As long as I am able to transit out of and in to this country without hassle, I will remain here.  But if things change, I will use my Letter of Transit to leave for Lisbon as soon as practical and make a new life somewhere else if needed.

But back to Bermuda....

Even when the weather is bad there, I always felt good about being in Bermuda.  The place is clean and safe, and well worth visiting at least once.  Given that I will have no video access to left or right leaning American video media, I will be able to disconnect for a while. This will be a blessing for me.  I'll be sure to relax, and I'll be sure to unwind.

I wonder what it will be like when we take our New England / Canada cruise? 

 

 

 

PS: I will post daily entries from our 6-day cruise when I get back home. 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, May 11, 2025

It's not just me. People are truly scared of the Orange Snowflake.

 


Tonight was the last Game Night before I go away on a cruise to Bermuda.  Finally, I had the chance to speak with the hostess about current events (she has a F2M trans child), and she is both scared and angry.

But first....

Today would be my last day out and about as Marian for the better part of a week and a half.  And I spent most of the day inside the apartment taking care of last minute things such as paying bills and throwing out some trash.  Around 5 pm, I started getting ready to go out.  I didn't want to get too fancy, so I took out a simple denim mini dress, as it was 80° outside when I was getting dressed.

As usual, I got to game night around 7:45, and was the only (trans) female at the table. The hostess was with her son at a Chess match, and wouldn't be back until 9:30.  So, it was 5 of us playing games in the kitchen until the hostess came home.  Once she arrived, I made the effort to engage her in conversation, and she noted that in less than 100 days, we have turned into a nation with is a cross between "the Handmaiden's Tale" and "1984".  We have gone from zero to 1935 in 3 months!  She noted that she is taking almost every trace of social media off of her phone, and keeping it bare bones, in case she crosses a border.  I noted that I have a burner phone, and I may bring it on my upcoming cruise.  And then, she noted the lack of privacy in smart watches, as they now can track a woman's ovulation cycles. These are scary times, and she could only talk so much before she got overwhelmed by her feelings and had to change the subject. Meeting her again made me think - as soon as I get back from the cruise, I'd better start back on the paperwork needed for a second citizenship.  I want my letter of transit while planes are still flying to Lisbon. (See "Casablanca" for its MacGuffin, the letters of transit.)  

Right now, we are seeing the early stages of authoritarianism take place in the United States.  The people close to the president were chosen not on their competency for their positions.  Instead, they were chosen ONLY for their loyalty to the president.  They defend the undefendable, only to stay in good stead with their leader.  Political, social and human rights are being destroyed to please their leader.  Legal non-citizen residents are being imprisoned and deported simply because they exercised a 1st amendment right to say things that make the current administration unhappy.  To make things worse, the president has hinted at throwing American citizens into the same gulags now being used to hold non-citizens.  Due process no longer exists, save when the judicial branch of government can get involved.  And even then, many in the system pledge their loyalty to the president and not to the law.

When will this stop?

The other night, I was watching part of a CNN piece on support for the Orange Snowflake in a rural area in the Midwest.  Although many were very unhappy with how his tariffs were affecting their businesses, they were not ready to abandon him.  "Let's give him a chance" one person said, as if his personal sacrifice would be rewarded in the long term.  The problem is that the "little people" are of no worth to the snowflake.  They are only tools to be used when he needs to exercise his power.  This wouldn't be so bad if the snowflake wasn't a malignant, narcissistic grifter.  It's so sad to see people get hoodwinked, then double down on being hoodwinked instead of seeing the snowflake for what he is - one of the greatest grifters of all time.

There is an old joke in the wine industry:

Q: How do you make $10,000,000 making wine?. 
A: Start with investing $50,000,000.

Well, the snowflake has made his millions by telling people to invest their $50,000,000, and leaving them with only $10,000,000 after he has squandered much of their money.  He doesn't want to acknowledge that his casinos in Atlantic City went bankrupt - a business which is usually a "license to print money".  Most of his other businesses have been scams that provide little (or no) value for money spent, such as Trump Water, Trump Steaks, and Trump University.  (The latter a known fraud which resulted in a $25,000,000 settlement to his victims.)  Both big and small investors have been scammed by this person, and now he's made the United States his final target.

What does the snowflake want?  First, I think he's motivated by extracting as much money as he can out of America, whether it is a series of sweetheart deals that have foreign governments pay him bribes in all but name (does anyone remember the Trump hotel in Washington, DC?), or whether it is by insider trading of anything valuable in the American economy.  Second, I think that he's looking to become an all-powerful dictator who can accept no challenge to his idea of current reality.  He's a man without principle, and will sell anyone and everyone out for short term gain.  He craves public recognition, something which was denied him in the hometown that despises him - New York.

How much am I concerned? 

Well, I will send in paperwork for my second citizenship and passport when I return from the cruise I am taking next week.  More importantly, I am worried about what border control will look for on my phone when I return from my short cruise, assuming I am targeted for things I have posted online.  Right now, I still have a presumption of "Due Process" as an American citizen.  But how long will that last?  More importantly, can it last with all of the people who have sold their souls to support him?

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Even in retirement, I am still busy.

 

I originally had a very busy day scheduled for today.  First, I had to pick up a suit from the cleaners.  Then, I had to drive to Long Island to let the contractors in to replace a chimney liner, After that, I was supposed to drive to RQS's place to drop off the suit I'd be wearing on our upcoming cruise.  And, finally, I'd be driving hope to participate in a co-op board meeting.  If it weren't for the folk dealing with the chimney liner, I'd have spent the day in Marian mode.  Instead, it felt strange to be wearing trousers and not carrying a handbag.

But first....

After getting dressed, my plans had me picking up my suit at the dry cleaners.  I was there by 9 am, but no one showed up before I had to leave at 9:20.  Leaving around 9:20 would leave me enough slack time to compensate for the expected traffic jams I'd encounter on the way to Long Island.  And I needed every minute, so that I could get to the family homestead by 11 am.

Normally, after 9 am, southbound route 9a moves smoothly through Ossining.  Recently, NYS DOT crimped a 2 lane road to 1 lane just after the top of a long hill, causing traffic to back up for a mile.  There was no way I was going to get stuck in this jam, so I took back roads to bypass 95% of the snarl, and saved 15 minutes in the process.  Next, I encountered another traffic jam in another area which never backs up.  So, again, I took another highway south, avoiding the worst of this jam.  Finally, I made it to an East River bridge with 40 minutes to complete a 25 minute drive.  With a stop to pick up the day's lunch, I made it to the homestead by 11, where I waited for the chimney people to come.

At 11:30, the chimney people arrived, and they were gone by 12:30.  Not having a suit to bring to RQS's place, I decided to drive home for my next appointment - the co-op board meeting.  But first, I had to pick up my suit.  When I got to the cleaners, the lady behind the counter gave a lame excuse - she had to pick up (or deliver) something.  I wasn't going to get into an argument with this irresponsible lady.  Instead, I picked up my suit and vowed never to do business with this place again.  Instead, I'll go to one of the two other established places in town and be sure that I can pick up my clothes when I want/need to do so.

With a couple hours rest, I initiated the co-op board's zoom meeting.  We had some problems at first, and the applicant we expected had a hard time connecting with Zoom.  But eventually, we accomplished what we needed to do, and discussed board business that I can't report here.  Finally, at 8:30 pm, my day ended, and I could finally rest.

Friday, May 9, 2025

It's been quite a few years since I've been to this mall.

 

It's been quite a few years since I've been to this mall, and it will be even more until I go there again.  Most of the stores a subset of the high end outlets that cater to people with too much money to burn, and I have little interest in burning my money there.  Luckily, I tend to buy most of my clothing online, and can avoid the experience of this mall.

- - - - - -

When I moved to Northern Westchester county, there was a small local mall called "The Westchester Mall".  Although some stores were in an outdoor section of the mall, most people considered the indoor section to be "the" mall.. Alexanders (remember them?) was the lone anchor store, with several small stores in this section of the mall. When Alexanders shut down, so did the rest of the stores in the indoor section. About the only trace of the old mall that still exist is the unused indoor entrance to Alexanders, which now is unused by Mattress Firm. Walmart replaced Alexanders long ago, and another section of the property was developed for a bookstore, a supermarket, and a couple more big box stores.  As a result, the current complex no longer goes by the old name, leaving the mall in White Plains with the name on the sign in the above photo - they were very careful NOT to use someone else's mall name when developing the White Plains site.

Why is this so important?  To me, the lower and middle economic classes have much less money in real terms to live on than they did 40+ years ago.  The high upper middle class and the rich still have excess money to spend.  This may mean that malls that once catered to the lower and middle classes are dying out while malls that serve the upper classes will still survive. But what is the defining characteristic of stores in the upper class malls?  Service.  People with money need to feel pampered.  Money buys them comfort.  Once one reaches a certain level of wealth, one often wants to be attended to.  One doesn't want to manage the little things that take up a large part of other's lives/

Luxury is essential to the wealthy.  They can buy anything they want.  And that includes being pampered, having every desire met - even before it is desired.  Exclusivity is associated with luxury.  We see that in modern cruise ships, where people with money to burn are able to buy the "Ship within a ship" experience.  Although I have had small tastes of this kind of luxury, I am solidly in the middle class.  Yet, I wouldn't mind burning some money for this kind of experience - as long as it is a one time experience.  It would be nice to be able to get another taste of true luxury while I'm able to enjoy it. 



PS: One thing I noticed while in the mall was a sign at the Eileen Fisher store that noted that they support all people who want to wear their clothes.  Even though most of their clothing is way out of reach for me, I plan to buy things from their "Renew" store once I am in a size where their clothing fits me.

 

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Lunch with a friend, then more cruise packing. (a short post)

 


I've always been a fan of Bugs Bunny cartoons.  The "Waskelly Wabbit" (as Elmer Fudd would call him) was one of the few well developed characters from the age of animated shorts, a character who would almost always triumph over adversity.  Today, I had lunch with a friend who is overcoming adversity in her life, and whom I feel certain with most challenges she may encounter.

Unlike past lunches, we picked up sandwiches at the local deli and went to a local park to eat them.  And there we caught up on what was going on in each other's lives, including all of the stresses we had to deal with.  She mentioned family issues, some of which involve her son being away at school, her husband's health, and an in-law family who doesn't want to understand what she has to deal with.  And later, we got to talking about my transgender nature in passing.  I noted that I always preferred the female role in life, the nature of women's social connections, and that my genitals weren't as important to me as much as the role I would play in life.  What I didn't say is that I would likely not have been married had I been a cisgender female, as I am too independent to be in a relationship only for sex (no matter what my orientation would have been.)

All too soon, lunch had to end, and I had to return home to pack.  Cinderella's slipper had fallen off, and it likely won't be found until Thursday.

 

 

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Retirement can be the life of some people and the death of others

 


A little under 11 years ago, I was laid off by the bank I worked at for 30 years.  Before this happened, I was in total fear of what would happen next.  Today, I think of this as a great blessing.  Before being laid off, I was worried about what would happen if word of Marian got back to the bank.  Afterwards, I felt free to explore this part of myself and grow as a person.

Being retired has given me the freedom to be my authentic self.  I have traveled as Marian, and I have grown because I've done so.  When my legal identity is not revealed, I am able to call myself Marian, and people accept me as such.  I've found that people accept me more as Marian, in part, because I am more open as my authentic self.  Yes, some people clock me as transgender.  But I am usually treated with respect, as I live in a state which expects that people like me will be treated with respect.

At first, being retired meant that I had an excess of free time.  But this only meant that the ways I use my time and energy would change.  Now, I find that it takes me longer to get many things done, but I am much more relaxed in doing so. My time is no longer ruled by the clock and calendar, instead, it is managed by them.  There will always be events that take place on fixed times and days (such as going to church services), but most tasks can be done at my convenience.  If being employed is like classical music with fixed structures and tempos, then retirement is like jazz, where one has freedom to improvise around a known theme.

But this freedom isn't good for all people.  My former therapist was an alcoholic in recovery who always seemed in control of his life.  The structures he built in sobriety (exercise routines, AA meetings, and client appointments) weren't there in retirement.  As soon as he left his practice in White Plains for retirement in Honolulu, his life fell apart.  Within 5 years, his son was in danger of repeating his father's life, he had divorced his wife, and he finally passed away.  It is no secret that a large number of men tend to die within 3 years of retirement - employment gave these men a structure needed to live as long as they did.

So what do I recommend for people, especially men, for whom retirement is in the near future?  To be direct - social engagement in late middle age is hard for most men, and it is much harder for them to connect with others and befriend them.  This is where women tend to have it much easier - their lives are built around the social glue that keeps society together.  Who tends to take care of babies?  Women.  Who tends to take care of household responsibilities other than physical upkeep of property - Women.  Who tends to dominate the nurturing jobs in society, such as Nurses and Teachers?  Women.  And to do this, they tend to build up networks that most men wish they could do.  When a woman approaches another person (especially other women), sexuality is not part of the equation.  Only when she deliberately sends out signals of interest does sex come in to play.  Men tend to be much more isolated, as their connections are usually built around their careers and not about their families' connections with other families.

For us transgenders, we send out more awkward messages - especially when we first come out.  What women learn over a lifetime of being female, we have to learn in  a crash course in femininity.  So, finding new friends is much harder for us than for cisgender people.  I am lucky that I was laid off from the bank when I was 57, and had time to develop myself into a person ready for full retirement.  Yes, making new friends is still awkward for me.  Yet, at least, I have done so.....  

 

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

What does anger and hatred get us?


I read the following in a Facebook post the other day, and it is just as valid now as when it was originally posted:

Feminist News

The question was posed, "Why do people continue supporting Trump no matter what he does?" A lady named Bev answered it this way:

“You all don't get it. I live in Trump country, in the Ozarks in southern Missouri, one of the last places where the KKK still has a relatively strong established presence. They don't give a shit what he does. He's just something to rally around and hate liberals, that's it, period. He absolutely realizes that and plays it up. They love it. He knows they love it. The fact that people act like it's anything other than that proves to them that liberals are idiots, all the more reason for high fives all around.

If you keep getting caught up in "why do they not realize this problem" and "how can they still back Trump after this scandal," then you do not understand what the underlying motivating factor of his support is. It's fuck liberals, that's pretty much it.

Have you noticed he can do pretty much anything imaginable, and they'll explain some way that rationalizes it that makes zero logical sense? Because they're not even keeping track of any coherent narrative, it's irrelevant. Fuck liberals is the only relevant thing.

Trust me; I know firsthand what I'm talking about.

That's why they just laugh at it all because you all don't even realize they truly don't give a fuck about whatever the conversation is about. It's just a side mission story that doesn't matter anyway. That's all just trivial details - the economy, health care, whatever.

Fuck liberals.

Look at the issue with not wearing the masks. I can tell you what that's about. It's about exposing fear. They're playing chicken with nature, and whoever flinches just moved down their internal pecking order, one step closer to being a liberal.
You've got to understand the one core value that they hold above all others is hatred for what they consider weakness because that's what they believe strength is, hatred of weakness. And I mean passionate, sadistic hatred. And I'm not exaggerating. Believe me.
Sadistic, passionate hatred, and that's what proves they're strong, their passionate hatred for weakness. Sometimes they will lump vulnerability in with weakness. They do that because people tend to start humbling themselves when they're in some compromising or overwhelming circumstance, and to them, that's an obvious sign of weakness.

Kindness = weakness. Honesty = weakness. Compromise = weakness.

They consider their very existence to be superior in every way to anyone who doesn't hate weakness as much as they do. They consider liberals to be weak people that are inferior, almost a different species, and the fact that liberals are so weak is why they have to unite in large numbers, which they find disgusting, but it's that disgust that is a true expression of their natural superiority.

Go ahead and try to have a logical, rational conversation with them. Just keep in mind what I said here and be forewarned.”

So, what does this mean for the rest of us?  Do we give in to our hatred and anger and become just like these losers?  Or, do we find ways of disconnecting ourselves from them in all ways and let them stew by themselves in their own anger?  I feel sorry for these cult members, but I won't forgive them.  They have choices they can make, and they keep making bad ones.  The best I can do is to put myself in positions where they can do as little harm to me as possible, for as long as possible.  But what do I suggest for civilized people as a whole?

I suggest total disengagement.  Advocate policies that protect our communities from their hatred, even if it hurts them in the long run.  Let them destroy their states as long as we can protect ourselves from them and their politicians.  Boycott their states, as the Canadians are boycotting America.  If it's easy to avoid doing business with firms such as Hobby Lobby and Chick Fil A, do so.  But this will not always be possible.  Many of the biggest firms are managed by people who benefit from targeting the weakest in our society.  So do business with them as little as possible.  

Right now, I have friends in Texas who I will not visit until their state recovers its sanity.  Since that isn't happening soon, all I can do is meet with them over a Zoom link.  It's not good, but it's better than visiting them as an unauthentic self to avoid persecution in that state.

 

 






Monday, May 5, 2025

Easter Sunday - A look backwards. (A short post)

 

By the time you read this, Easter should be a memory.  Yet, I find important to note that RQS and I both got dressed in our nice dresses and attended church for a change.  What I found interesting is how things have changed since we were children decades ago.  Men and women would put on their Sunday finest, and wear many of the same clothes that they could be decked out in before they were buried.  Today, people are much more informal, and we saw quite a few people wearing jeans in the church.

Is this bad?

Not really.  As much as I like getting dressed up for social functions, I appreciate the informality of the current age. We are much more socially relaxed now than in the 1950's when we were born.  (Politics is just as divisive, save that society is much more polarized today.  Who'd have dreamed that the Orange Snowflake would normalize hatred, anger, and nihilism among members of his cult and hijack one of the two political parties in the USA?  But I digress.)  When I watch videos of old game shows, I often see women in evening gowns and men in "dinner suits" (Tuxedos) as panelists for shows such as "I've got a secret" and What's my line?"  Today, with the exception of summer casual wear, it's uncommon to find women wearing dresses or skirts.  We have become a much more equal society than the one we were born into.

There are many among us who'd return us to the 1950's and the "Red Scare" era.  People would blacklist others, keeping them from gainful employment if they didn't toe the party line and hate communism with a passion.  Any defense of people holding contrary views were to be shunned.  Over time, we saw that the Red Scare was way overblown. Many lives were ruined because of our national fear.  Yet, we overcame that fear and moved forward to our current era where people again have lost faith in our institutions and civil norms.  We have overcome our fears before as a society and will do so again.

The message of Easter is a message of redemption and of life.  Let's hope we can remember it while we struggle to go about our daily lives.






Sunday, May 4, 2025

I've been entering my cruises into The Cruise Globe, and some interesting things show up.

 

Lately, I've been entering information from my prior cruises into The Cruise Globe, and it has been mapping each of my cruises as I enter them.  Not all of my cruises have been entered yet, and I am doing the research to fill the rest of them in.

Why am I mentioning this?

The bulk of my cruises have been out of New York: NCL out of the Manhattan Cruise Terminal, Princess and MSC out of the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.  My other cruises have been out of San Francisco, Los Angeles, Honolulu, Fort Lauderdale, and Southampton, England.  Some of these cruises have been with a travel partner, and others have been as a solo.  Some of these cruises have been as Mario and others as Marian. And on each of these cruises, I learn a little more about myself and the world as a whole.

- - - - - -

Some cruise ships, like NCL's Pride of America, act as floating hotels that take people from port to port for their sightseeing.  Others, like many Royal Caribbean ships, are resorts in themselves.  Most cruise ships are somewhere in the middle.  Yet, cruising is not for everyone.  If one wants to visit a city and get to know it well, cruising is not the way to do this.  But if one wants to sample several places in one vacation trip without having to unpack, then cruising might be the vacation for you.

Entering data into the Cruise Globe triggered memories of how I was treated as a transgender person on some of the trips.  Occasionally, I was addressed by my dreaded masculine name, which put me in an awkward situation at times.  Other times, I was treated properly for a woman of my age.  Sometimes, I was reminded how I slipped into my masculine voice in the early days of traveling as Marian.  Each entry brings up some memory from the associated cruise, some good, some bad, and some embarrassing. What I found most interesting was that I have spent almost 6 months on cruise ships since I lost my wife to cancer.

- - - - - -

Soon, I'll be going on another cruise and reporting on it here.  Hopefully, I will continue to learn more new things while revisiting places I've been to before.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Today, I presented both as Mario and as Marian.

 

I could easily blow a wad on Universal Standard dresses, as there are two on sale that I wouldn't mind buying.  With a 25% off code that will expire at midnight, I can only justify buying one of these dresses (sadly, not the one above in that color).  Instead, it will likely be a linen dress which is perfect for the upcoming summer.

But why do I mention dresses?

Well, today's schedule had me present as Mario when I went to the doctor, and as Marian when I meet with MAR for dinner.  And I'm almost always in a dress when I meet up with her for dinner.

- - - - - -

First, it was a visit to my doctor.  I know that he'll hector me about my weight, but I go there because I know that my health needs to be monitored, so that things don't get worse for me in this area.  My appointment was set for 10:30, and I didn't see the doctor until 11:15 (an intern did check my blood pressure around 11.)  By the time I was done with the doctor, I was hungry and craving a sausage and egg breakfast sandwich.  So, I ate some food, then dropped my suit off at the cleaners before going home for a couple of hours.

I rested at home for a while, and then changed into Marian before meeting MAR for dinner.  Although we agreed to meet at 5:30, she was there around 5.  So, I said to get a table, as I could be there in a few minutes.  Once there, we caught each other up on what has been happening in our lives. Both of us showed each other some of the clothes we were thinking of buying for ourselves.  MAR was a little envious of me and my travels, and suggested that she'd like to join me on one of my cruises.  Well, that won't happen for many reasons, one of them is that I'd have to reveal I am transgender.

After dinner, I dropped my leftovers at my apartment, then drove to Stew Leonard's to buy some breakfast sausage patties.  One problem - they were nowhere to be found, as the store was arranged to supply patrons for their Easter dinner needs.  Yet, I found a lot of things I needed for this weekend's dinners with RQS.

On the whole, it was a busy but not hectic day.  Next week, I expect things to get hectic on the run up to my upcoming cruise.

 

Friday, May 2, 2025

A free day before a lot of activity

 

Tomorrow, I will be dealing with a Doctor's appointment as Mario, and then a Dinner engagement as Marian.  So, it will be one of those "half and half" days where I have to change my presentation in mid day.  This is part of why I did nothing much today other than to pay a bill or two, and to do some more laundry.

But first....

I woke up after a good sleep.  How did I know it was a good sleep?  Well, I rarely dream, and I had a vivid dream during the night that has since faded from memory (like most dreams do).  Once I was fully conscious, I warmed up some frozen quiche from Trader Joe's (Meh!) and sat down to fold some of last night's laundry.  Even though the sock monster ate two of my ankle socks, I have more than enough to spare.

Next on the docket was paying some bills.  Although my car insurance went up, I was glad to get this payment out of the way, as I expect even more bills to come up before the end of the month, as well as a funds transfer to pay for work being done on the family homestead.  AARGH!  Yet, one good thing came of this - I found out why credit card payments to one account weren't being processed.  It seems like the partner bank for one of my cards had changed, along with both account number and lockbox addresses. So I updated this information, and I hope that next month all will be OK.

Finally, I got around to doing my laundry.  Two loads washed and dried, but not yet folded.  I will need to do this before the weekend, as I have to bring a packed suitcase along with me as I drive RQS home after the upcoming weekend.  This way, when I go there by train, I'll have my carry-on, my CPAP machine, and maybe my backpack.

- - - - - -

One item of mote: Today, I read a report where US Customs detained a US Citizen and his wife at the Canadian border, and made him surrender his cell phone - even after he noted that he was an attorney, and had sensitive information on it.  Even bright red congressional districts have had enough of this crap and are complaining.  The US Citizen and his wife were eventually released, but what does this say about the heavy handed treatment that ICE is showing people of all nationalities, including our own?

Given that I will be out of the US at least 3 times in the next 6 months, I wonder what will happen to me, as I am openly against this administration's actions.  Will they subject me to the same headaches as this citizen experienced?  Yes, I'll be traveling as a cisgender white male, and not the transgender woman I am.  But how long will it be possible for me to deal with being in stealth mode, and when will they start hunting us down, like the Nazis did in the 1930's?

 

 

Catching up on my reading. (A short post)

  This is the book that I've been reading lately.  Unfortunately, I have no more renewals left on the book. It means that I'm suppos...