Marian was a very busy girl today.

 

Work kept me busy for most of the day.  But my evening was busy too....

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As my readers know, I go to work presenting as female.  Weekends are usually spent presenting as a Male, as I have a girlfriend who prefers to date a male.  So, today was a rush - I had to get home and change into a male presentation to spend an hour zooming with my ex-boss.  And even then, I only had an hour to chat with him, as I had to make it to the drug store and pick up my prescriptions.

Changing from Marian to Mario is normally a 30 minute task.  First, I have to remove my makeup.  Next, I have to strip, then put on a masculine outfit. Finally, I have to switch wallets.  And I did this in time to tell my ex-boss that I'd be late for our zoom meeting.  But once we connected, I wish we had more time to chat - my visit to CVS had to be made before 9 pm to pick up my prescriptions, and  I had to get my clothes into the laundry, so that I'd be done by 10-10:30 pm.

At CVS, I found out that my insurance had transitioned to the new insurance plan.  However, there was a problem with my test strips.  No wonder why people sell glucose test strips in a black market - there is no reason why I have to pay 10 times as much for something that costs pennies to make.  Next time I choose a Part-D plan, I'll look for one that covers these strips - if they are available in a Medicare plan.

By the time I was done with CVS, it was time for laundry and to put my ID back into my female wallet. This is a gift I could use at Xmas time, as the coin compartment is always opening when in my purse.  However, I'll have to buy this for myself when the holidays come.  At least I'll have it before going to Hawaii....

I'm so tired...

 

This is another quick post....

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To keep my mind from exploding due to boredom, I've actively used an MP3 player to entertain me while I do an almost mindless task.  Today, one Beatles tune comes to mind: "I'm So Tired."  Although this song was written to "document" a different person's exhaustion, it seems to echo what I've been dealing with as of late.

Today, I started work with a bang.  Yet by the time coffee break came, I had no energy and was ready to fall asleep.  I was glad to have no outside events coming up.  But, I had a Zoom meeting with two of my friends from Texas.  And I wish I could have postponed the zoom for another week - something I'm glad I didn't have to do.

By the time my Zoom meeting ended, I was ready to put my head on a pillow and fall asleep - which I did for an hour.  At least, I woke up in time to say goodnight to RQS and remind her of a lobster truck that will be visiting her neighborhood tomorrow.

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Tomorrow, I will have to remove the nail polish from this Sunday's Mani-Pedi.  I'll have another Zoom with my ex-boss, and then have to run to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions.  AARGH.  Next time, I'll be sure to be able to stay in Marian mode for a full week before I get another manicure....

Two nights, two Vickis...

 

Yesterday, Vicki #1 and I decided to get together for dinner without much planning.  Tonight, I had dinner with Vicki #2.  One of these days, I'll finally arrange for these two women to meet, as they are both caring people who look like they could have been sisters.  For now, I'll be glad to meet them whenever they are available.

Vicki #2 has a lot of stuff on her plate right now, and is unable to get out of the house until 8 pm or so.  So I chose a place which is halfway between our residences (Lefteris Gyro) which is a mutual go-to place.  And we caught up on a lot of what has been going on in our lives - Vicki with family matters, and me with RQS developments.

I was not surprised that Vicki chose an outdoor table to eat at.  But, there is an immuno-compromised person in her household, and I think that she wants to be as safe as possible - even when she meets someone for dinner.  I am rooting for this other person to do well, but s/he has already done much better than can be expected, and every day is an added gift.

There's not too much more to say today.  Vicki deserves some privacy, and I am starting to fall out....

I almost forgot to post something today.

 

Last night, I didn't much sleep.  So I was doing whatever I could to stay awake at work throughout the day, and was very glad I could leave the job at the end of the work day.  

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But first....

During the day, I found out that my doctor's office had taken care of some paperwork I needed, and that I should now be able to pick up prescriptions at my local drug store. (I later found out that the drug store had left a message telling me that my prescriptions were ready to be picked up.)  There is only one problem.  During the week, I live in Marian mode, and hate changing into Mario mode for just a couple of hours.  So I will try to find out whether I can pick up everything on Saturday, after I have changed back into Mario for the weekend (and after I have stripped off my nail polish.)

At times during the day, I check my email.  Vicki sent me an email to let me know that she received a call from me, and that there was no message.  No, this is not as weird as it could be.  On the way home, I tried calling a couple of known numbers, and my phone did not handle communication from either station.  So, I rebooted my phone, and all was OK after I did this.  Vicki and I exchanged a few texts, and we decided to meet and eat at a local diner after work.

On the way to see Vicki, I killed some time at the new Trader Joe's, and then made it to the local diner to meet.  She was surprised that I was there early, and we proceeded to chat about many things.  I mentioned communications I had with my ex-girlfriend and she wanted to get control of that narrative, but I kept control - and got out the points I needed to make.  (No, I won't go into these points here.  But they have been covered before, in details which she could accept in this forum.)

All too soon, we had to go home, and I was in for the evening....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 3

 

 

Yesterday was a day spent as Mario.  Today was a day spent as Marian.  Who'd have thought that RQS would feel this comfortable with me as Marian?

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As we got up today, we knew that we'd be getting a Mani-Pedi at the same place.  I just wasn't sure of which nail salon we were going to until I remembered a special at one of the shops in town.  So I shaved my face, arms, legs, and the rest of my torso to look nice enough to go out as Marian.  So, around 2:00 pm, it was off to the nail salon in a local strip mall.

When we arrived at the shop, we ended up being asked to come back at 3:00, when staff was coming in for late afternoon appointments.  So it was off to the diner for a quick bite to eat.  While in the parking lot, she grabbed my hand as a PDA.  Did she realize it until I told her?  Who knows?  But I know she is comfortable with me as Marian, though she prefers to see Mario.

We got our meal, and we got back to the salon at 3:00 - and had a nice time as two girlfriends only can.  Yet, she made it clear that she wants to see Mario, and I will gladly comply.  All too soon, it was time to drop RQS off at the station, and for our weekend together to end.

I'm hoping that this will be one of many weekends together that include time as Marian, and maybe a trip or two together with me presenting as a female....

Another Weekend with RQS - Day 2

Today was spent in Mario mode.   

Neither RQS nor I was interested in getting dressed and going outside in the hot weather.  As I've said, I'll always make sure that she has Mario for a male partner.  So we kept ourselves busy by sorting through clothes I had in storage containers, and put half of them into donation bags to go to a local charity when I get around to making a donation.

Once we were done with this task, it was time to go out and brave the weather.  I was envious of RQS, as she could dress much more comfortably than I could for this weather.  So we tried to pick up a pair of trousers from the tailor, but the shop closed 15 minutes before we got there.  It was off to get a bite to eat, and that we did - trying out Smash Burger for the first time.  There's not much more that I can say, save that they make yummy burgers and fries.

On the way home, I jokingly suggested that we go for a Mani-Pedi together.  She thought for a second, and said sure.  Two weekend days as Marian!  Yay!!!!  (What more can a bi-gendered or transgender "boyfriend" want?)  Eventually, we made it back home for the night, and watched TV in air conditioned comfort....

Another weekend with RQS - Day 1

 

I'm afraid that I accidentally donated this dress several months ago.  When I showed RQS this picture, she noted that it was a good look for me, and that she'd keep an eye out for it as we looked through my storage bins this weekend.

But first....

As I've noted, I now arrive ar Croton Harmon station in Marian Mode to pick RQS up on arrival.  She is very comfortable with this, and has gotten used to seeing me wearing a dress when we go out to eat.  Yes, it may be a little subversive in nature, but we're comfortable with it, and that's all I care about.

This week, we decided to do something different and go to a Chinese Buffet near me.  Both of us pigged out.  RQS was impressed with the quality of the buffet.  I was gobsmacked with the inflated price of the buffet.  (I'm not complaining here.  It is just sticker shock, as I haven't been to this place since before the pandemic.)

What pleasantly surprised me today was that RQS is becoming more comfortable with me in Marian mode.  Although I'll always be there for her as Mario, it is nice that she accepts Marian as well....

Life is strange

 

During 2020-2021, I let my apartment go to waste while I did my best to take care of myself.  The above image is typical of me - during one of the few chances I had to get to a meetup, I let myself have a little fun.

Why do I mention this?  Well, being transgender got in the way of my last relationship, and my former cruise partner (FCP) sent my (now) ex girlfriend a note that should have been forwarded to me without opening.  Of course, curiosity got the better of her, and the rest is history.  FCP is no longer a friend, and the ex is just an ex - we only have simple communications, and not that of people who were once intimate partners.

There has been a great upside to this.  If the ex and I had not broken up, I would never have been in the position to meet RQS.  And for that, I am very grateful.  She accepts me for who and what I am, something that my most recent ex couldn't do. Although it takes some effort for us to talk about uncomfortable things, we know we need to do so in order to have a solid relationship.  So far, all the signs are still green for us, and I hope that they stay this way.

- - - - - -

I see one of my flaws getting in the way of things, and that is something we've already talked about.  As much as I dislike my job, I am hesitant to leave it.  I know that there isn't much of a chance that I'll find another job at my age, and that leaving means that I'll have to solely live off of my nest egg.  RQS is already retired, and she seems to be doing well in retirement.  She has taken up new hobbies (read: artistic pursuits) as well as doing the exercises needed to improve her body and her health.  And she'd like for me to do something similar when I retire - if only to have me around as long as possible.

Hopefully, I will retire sooner than later, as I've already committed myself to do so with my Hawaii cruise later this year.  It's too bad that RQS will be unable to go with me....

Sometimes, even buying something as simple as a bar of soap can be a pain

 

As I often do these days, this is going to be a quick post.

One of the things I have found out is that Fels Naptha soap is both a great stain remover AND that it is a great soap for travelers to pack.  However, most people are not comfortable with this soap, and it has gone out of style in most areas.

Most people who know me know that I pick up weird bits of information.  And I plan to do a bit more traveling in the near future.  This means that I might need to launder some garments in the sink if I'm on a long trip, such as a Panama Canal cruise.  Given that only one of the cruise lines I've traveled on equips their ships with washers/dryers available to the cruisers, I figure that I'll need a bar of this soap when I take a long cruise.

There is a problem with my plan.  It's almost impossible to find this soap in most stores, and it sells out quickly on Amazon.  So I'll have to keep my eyes open, and buy it when I see it available.

They don't make it simple....

 

A few weeks ago, I turned 65.  Switching over my insurance plans is a pain in the ass.  For example, I have a membership number with CVS/Caremark, which I've used to order medications from the mail order pharmacy.  Unfortunately, CVS/Caremark couples one's insurance plan to one's membership so tightly, that the only way to go to a new insurance company is to get a new membership number.  Something is very wrong with the design of Caremark's system, as a membership number should be tied to an individual, and not first to the insurance company.

All I wanted to do is to tell Caremark that Fidelis Care is no longer my insurance company of record for prescriptions, and to point to Silver Scripts in its stead.  There seems to be no way to do this.  (Please tell me if I'm wrong.)  So I had to open another email account just to allow Caremark and Silver Scripts to talk to each other, with me as the covered insured party.  Sadly, Caremark dropped the ball to do this.  So now, I will lose ALL my prescription history, and have to have my doctor start writing new scripts from scratch.  Ouch!

As you can guess, I'm pissed.  I'll be even more so if someone shows me a way that this could have been done.  It's almost enough to go postal, but with legalized cannabis, there are better ways to find relaxation and relief. 😁  

A visit to the doctor's office

 

Normally, I feel very tired when I get to work.  Once the initial jolt of caffeine has worn off, I start dragging for most of the rest of the day.  Today, I ended up breaking my routine, as I took a half day off from work for a doctor's visit.

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This was my first doctor visit using my new insurance.  Hopefully, I won't have any problems with it.  With my Medicare supplement (Part-G), I only need to pay $20 for a doctor's visit.  So I may end up spending less money (for a while) on Medicare than I did on my former Obamacare plan.  While there, I told my doc NOT to change prescriptions yet, as I had to get things straightened up with CVS/Caremark.  I've had a membership number for several years, and now it looks like I'll have to reregister for mail order prescription service - and may need to use another email address for this new prescription drug insurance provider.  AARGH!

Once done with the doctor, I had to change back into Marian mode for the rest of the day.  I was so tired by the time I got home, that I crashed after a quick dinner.

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One of these days, I hope to be able to go to the doctor's office in Marian mode, as I now do with my dentist.  Considering that this doctor is of Pakistani descent, I doubt that he'd feel comfortable seeing me as anything other than Mario.  So I'll have to wait until he retires to do so with a younger doctor....

Politics - Another word for many flesh eating insects

 

Lately, there have been a lot of storm clouds in the sky for us transgender folk.  Now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, the lunatic right is well on the way to eliminating same sex marriage, as well as the ability of transgender people to get both appropriate medical treatment and to have their gender recognized by law.

Many of us will always stand out as transgender, and that might not be a bad thing in "normal" times.  But in these times, we might be safer if we could live in the closet and quietly work to subvert the power of America's right wing.  This is far from an ideal situation, as we should not have to go into hiding to survive.

I am reminded of Central Europe in the early 1930's.  Germany quickly went from a democratic nation with religious freedom to an authoritarian nation with no religious freedom.  The nation was ruled by a man with a personality cult - something we have been temporarily able to stop for a while.  But we are not out of the woods.  The party that Trump led still wants power for the sake of power.  It has no real governing philosophy.

Right now, I am totally disgusted by the GOP, as they have let political cockroaches take hold of the party.  And, like cockroaches, they are hard to keep at bay.  I only wish we had the political bug spray needed to rid the GOP of this cancer that could kill democracy in our nation.

Another quick post... Cleaning up my apartment

 

 

It seems that every weekend that RQS comes up here, we take the time out for an hour to do some cleaning in my apartment.  We both figure that with someone else around, we will achieve progress on our goals of getting our places straightened up.

But first....

We have developed a routine that we both find comfortable.  Since I go to work dressed as a female, RQS has accepted that I will pick her up dressed as I do in the office.  From there, we often will go out to dinner, and then home to decompress.  The next day, I will don Mario's clothing and then take care of whatever things we need to do for the next couple of days.  In a way, she is getting a taste of forbidden fruit in a safe way.  And I will joke that if we visit Provincetown, MA, that I have to go in female mode, as it wouldn't be natural to see a male kissing a woman there.  (I know there are straight people in P'town, but it is a cute joke.)  Too bad we won't get there this summer....

This Saturday, we ended up tackling the mess in my kitchen.  There is still a long way to go.  And I think the next step in this process will be to start culling things I no longer need and donate them to a local charity to do some good.  Hopefully, I'll create some open working space to do some serious cooking soon....

RIP - Neighborhood Hofbrau House

 

Joseph Huber's Hofbrau.  May it rest in peace.

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This past weekend, RQS and I went to Mamaroneck to eat.  While there, we passed by an old building which had been closed up as long as I can remember - and that is a long time, as I started working in that era in 1984. (It was open when I started working in the area, but closed soon afterwards.)   I was very surprised to find that there were two people working inside, turning this long dormant neighborhood bar into a social club.

We walked in and chatted with the fellows doing the work, and found that they were taking the stained glass windows down, ostensibly for health reasons.  Although this may be true, I feel that the windows do not reflect the atmosphere they want in their new business. Luckily, they know the value of the stained glass windows, and will be preserving them for the future.

I wish the new owners well in their ventures....

The following are 4 of my shots of the place.

 

PS: If you're interested in another part of real estate history, read this: 

The Skinny House of Mamaroneck

A quick post on 2 unusual vehicles

 

The other day, RQS and I went for dinner in Mamaroneck, NY.  On the way there, we caught a glimpse of this three wheeled vehicle.  Is it a car?  Is it a motorcycle?  This is the problem that many DMV's across the United States have when they register vehicles like this - there is no national standard for motorcycles, and the licensing needed to drive them.

When I first heard about American 3 wheeled cars, Elio Motors was developing a small gas powered vehicle.  I had the pleasure of sitting in a prototype of this vehicle in 2016, and they were dealing with the problems of unfamiliarity with 3 wheeled cars, the problems of creating a new category of vehicle (to eliminate headaches such as wearing helmets in an enclosed vehicle), manufacturing these vehicles, and sales/service - something usually done by franchised stores.  At the price of roughly $7,000, I'd have took a gamble and bought one for an in-town station car.  Today, their target for an electric vehicle is $14,000. And I have no interest in dealing with the headaches of electric cars at this time.

Although I mentioned my loose familiarity with this type of vehicle to RQS, our conversation shifted to other, more interesting topics.  After dinner, we again saw this vehicle, and another nearby.

Again, RQS asked: "What is it?"  And I had to mention that it is another cross between a car and a motorcycle.  Based on the helmet I saw in the vehicle, I have a feeling that New York still considers this to be a 3 wheeled motorcycle, and requires that all riding in wear helmets.

Have you seen vehicles like this?  If so, let me know what you think.

Quickie - A rude awakening

 

One of the headaches I'm dealing with is switching insurance from an Obamacare plan to Medicare (with all its pieces).  And I'm seeing that there are more levels to this onion than I knew....

In the past, all I'd need to do to change insurance companies is to show my new card to each service provider.  Now, I have to make sure that all the secondary components (Parts B, D and G) are paid for and are in sync.  This may be the easy part of things.  Getting all providers to switch over the card (issues with Part D, drug coverage) is something else.  I've just fount that Caremark has no ability for me to make this change online.  Therefore, I might have to open up a new Caremark account (with new email address) AND get my doctor to write new prescriptions for everything I need.  AARGH!

Why did I have a rude awakening?

In the past, I paid $50 for a 3 month supply of test strips.  Without coverage (remember, Caremark does not have my new plan on file yet), the same strips cost $350.  AARGH!  No wonder why poor people go without.  Our system is designed to rip off people by default.

As you can guess, I now support single payer health care.  This will never happen here, but it is a nice dream....

The Hawaii Cruise is on!

 

Above is an image of the Pride of America (POA).  This is the only major American flagged and staffed cruise ship that I expect to be on.  (I'm excluding river cruising, as those vessels are smaller and cater to a different type of traveler.)  POA replaced another ship that was built in 1951 (SS Independence) which had outlived its usefulness, but was living on simply because of the Passenger Vessel Services Act of 1886. 

The Hawaiian cruise I'll be taking will be on POA.  I'll be able to spend the better part of 11 days in Hawaii, instead of the 4 or 5 I could spend on a foreign flagged vessel.  But I'll pay twice as much for a POA inside cabin for half as much time at sea on a foreign flagged vessel.  Is it worth the extra cost?  Everyone I know who has taken this cruise says "Yes!"  And it is this cruise that I wanted to take before the pandemic, a cruise that a former girlfriend from a more than two decades ago would have been on.  Could you imagine what she would have said if she saw me as Marian on this cruise?

Right now, I intend to take this cruise in Marian mode.  I feel much more comfortable in a dress than I do in a pair of shorts.  Hawaii is the place where a woman wearing a brightly colored floral dress blends in with most other women.  So I fully expect that women will see me as a fat woman, and not a man in a dress.  Yet, this trip may get cancelled - but not because of anything I do.  NCL is cancelling cruises for some POA cruisers, so that can serve those who actually get to sail with all the attention they would normally get on a normally staffed ship.  NCL is offering generous compensation for those people affected by these cancellations, and I won't cry much if this happens.  Not only would my $8500 be refunded to my credit card, but I'd receive future cruise credit (FCC) as well.

Keep your fingers crossed.  I'll have a lot to say about it as we get closer to sailing date.

Bills, Bills, and More Bills

 

This is a month where I'm doing serious damage to my credit cards.  I've planned for this "disaster" for months, and now the piper wants his due.

Today, I paid for the tires installed on my car this past weekend.  Shortly, I will be placing the charge for the Hawaii cruise I've been writing about for a while.  Am I nervous about spending this money?  Yes.  If I weren't nervous, I wouldn't have the money available for me to spend.  Too many people have said, "Marian, you've got the money - spend it!"  It's because I don't spend it with reckless abandon, that I still have money to spend.

I am looking forward to my Hawaii cruise.  It will be a little over 10 straight days spent in Marian mode.  Getting on a plane makes me nervous.  No, it's not because I'm afraid of flying.  Instead, it's because I fear the headaches of going through security and having something trigger a more thorough security scan.  It could be the metal in my underwire bra.  It could be that I forgot to pack something in my checked luggage that is in my carry on bag.  Who knows?  I'll have to contact Kim and get some advice.  

There are a lot of small bills that come in through the month, and I haven't seen the first of my Medicare Part-D bills yet. Nothing shows up on Mint or my Bank Statement.  So I wonder what's up.  That'll be a call for tomorrow....

Ambivalence

I've talked about my ambivalence in regard to leaving my job.  RQS had to face a similar problem before she retired, and then dealt with it more quickly than I have so far.

One of the most salient points RQS made is that I need to be stimulated at work.  This job is putting me to sleep.  The big question is what I will do when I leave the work force for good.  I want to travel, but that takes money.  Until I figure out how to make travel pay my bills, I can only travel so much.  Yet, I can see myself producing a Vlog on surface transit (land and sea), documenting trips that are well worth taking.  There is a lot of competition in this area, and I have my doubts that I'd have enough interesting things to say to publish on a regular schedule.

Ideally, I'd know enough about LGBT travel to document my travels in female presentation.  Of course, there will be a lot of places that I will not be able to travel as Marian.  So I'd have to do my research beforehand, so that others could benefit from my work.

So much to think about....

Good days end with lobster

 

 

Last night, I sent a long delayed response to someone who was expecting an almost immediate response from me. There was one big reason I didn't immediately respond - I needed to figure out what I want to say, as the elephant in this person's room was not an elephant in my room.  (Sorry to keep the details secret.  I just don't want to alienate this person in case she reads my blog.)

This person probably did not want me to feel hurt, when she revealed this something.  But I had long since let go of that part of our past.  So, I had to delay my response.  Since there was another person involved, I had to make sure that any comments about this other person were on spot and well deserved.  I don't know how many more conversations I'll have with the first person, but both of us will be talking about our present lives, and not our past lives.

- - - - - -

Now back to me....

You may have noticed me writing about a favorite food truck (Cousins Maine Lobster) that circulates all over NYC and its nearby NYS suburbs.  Today, the truck was within 5 minutes of my house, so I planned to drive there after work.  My first stop was to drop off two bags to the thrift shop.  Instead of getting an electronic receipt, as I did in the past, I received a card which I could fill in myself.  This is not as good as I'd like, as I could print my copy on standard letter paper.  However, it does allow me to enter whatever quantity of donation bags I want.  So, everything balances out in the end.  

And then it was off for some lobster.  Given that the truck was positioned on the site of a church's fair,  the parking was horrendous.  However, getting my lobster was quicker than usual, as they had lots of food ready for quick sale.  From the time I parked my car to the time I returned to it, 10 minutes had expired, and I had a 10 minute drive to get home.  You can guess what was the first thing I did after stripping off my dress and taking off my bra.  Luckily, I had nothing else to do this evening.....